scoring set.required homework - pasco school district€¦ · making homework mandatory would make...

Pasco School District Mid-Year Common Writing Assessment Grade 8 Scoring Papers, of 22

Required Homework for Every Class

To improve student learning, the school board is proposing required daily homework for every class. Take a position on this proposal. In a multiple-paragraph letter, persuade the school board to support your position.

Dear sir or madam, I don’t think the required homework project will not help student learning. Student’s don’t like home work if you give them work the have to do they still won’t do it. Thank you for taking the time to listen to my argument on this subject! This response demonstrates an insufficient ability to persuade a reader. The runaway opening merely states a position without providing a lead to interest the reader or provide background information (...the required homework project will not help student learning). The essay offers minimal elaboration, providing one brief extension (detail) for support (Student’s don’t like home work if you give them work the have to do they still won’t do it) and few supporting details. There is slight evidence of an organizational patter, and the essay demonstrates little focus. Vocabulary is limited, and there is insufficient evidence of sentence variety, providing little sense of the person behind the words. The best-fit Content, Organization, and Style score for this piece of writing is a 1.

COS 1

# 1 Intro T/D Concl


Required Homework for Every Class To improve student learning, the school board is proposing required daily homework for every class. Take a position on this proposal. In a multiple-paragraph letter, persuade the school board to support your position.

In order to improve student learning the school board should find a way to change the teaching instead of making mandatory daily homework. Making homework mandatory would make student participation drop because students wouldnt like the homework and would rebel by not doing the work. The key to improving learning is the system of teaching and letting the teacher decide whether to give homework or not. Giving mandatory daily homework will not improve student learning but instead it will burden it. This response demonstrates an insufficient ability to persuade a reader. The runaway opening attempts an alternate position (In order to improve student learning the school board should find a way to change the teaching instead of making mandatory daily homework) before jumping into the first reason. The introduction, however, is undeveloped and lacks a lead. The essay consists of three reasons; the first (Making homework mandatory would make student participation drop) and second (letting the teacher decide whether to give homework) are minimally extended (...because students wouldn’t like the homework and would rebel by not doing it...the key to improving learning is the system of teaching and letting the teacher decide), but the third (Giving mandatory daily homework will not improve student learning but instead it will burden it) is simply a bare statement, which lacks supporting details or extensions (phrases and clauses) to further clarify, explain, and develop the statement. The response lacks a closing, and there is minimal evidence of an organizational pattern. The essay demonstrates little focus and only two supporting details as extensions, which do not clarify the reasons. With the limited vocabulary and sentence variety, little sense of the person behind the words emerges. The best-fit Content, Organization, and Style score for this piece of writing is a 1.

COS 1

#2 Intro T/D D T/D Concl



I think that the students shouldn’t have daily homework from every class, because if they get to much home work they are not going to do it and they are going to fail their classes. It will also put to much stress on the students and they will drop out of school and alot of parents will get mad at the school board. Students that have problemes in school that have hard time in reading, spelling, writing, math, and science will be more confused and they will be more stressed then the other students that don’t have problems in school. This response demonstrates an insufficient ability to persuade a reader. The essay begins with a runaway opening, in which the student simply states a position about having daily homework (I think that students shouldn’t have daily homework from every class) before jumping into the first of many reasons (because if the get to much homework they are not going to do it...they are going to fail...It will also put to much stress on the students...they will drop out...alot of parents will get mad at the school board). The student, however, does stop to offer loosely connected elaboration when discussing students who struggle (Students who have problemes in school that have hard time in reading, spelling, writing, math, and science will be more confused and they will be more stressed then the other students who don’t have problems in school). There is an attempt to organize the response, but the few transitions in the response do not clearly connect reasons, extend ideas, or provide clear organization. Vocabulary is limited, and there is little evidence of sentence variety. The best-fit Content, Organization, and Style score for this piece of writing is a 1.

COS 1 (high 1)

# 3 Intro T/D T D/E E



Dear school board, I have been informed on your new task at hand, And Well I’m not happy with it at all. For one the shear proposal of this required daily homework is ludacris. Students are already being presured enough. First of all most teacher already give out homework on a regular basis. Plus if you Pass this Proposal student’s, teachers, and parent’s will be quite angry. Students lives arn’t just for school, they have many things going on. most are more important to them then school. Also if you give Students this extra daily homework each night it’s not fair to them. The homework could be disrupting the learning. Many students study the night before a big test, but if they have extra homework then their studying time is cut short. Takeing away the chance to do great. So with all of these very important and very great reasone on why this proposal should not be Passed I hope you will make the best decision, the right decision and say no to extra homework. Thank you. Sincerly, a worried Student

# 4 Intro T D E/E T D,E E Concl

This response demonstrates a weak ability to persuade a reader. The opening of the essay presents a position (...I’m not happy with it at all) and offers two reasons (...the shear proposal of this required daily homework is ludacris...Students are already being presured enough). The structure of the introduction indicates to the reader that these reasons will be discussed in further detail. The first body paragraph, however, includes two new reasons (...most teachers already give out homework on a regular basis...student’s, teachers, and parent’s will be quite angry), only the latter of which is supported with a brief extension and no specific detail (Students lives arn’t just for school, they have many things going on, most are more important to them then school). This is followed by a jump into the second paragraph and another new reason (...this extra daily homework each night it’s not fair to them). The support offered for it’s not fair to them is a brief House-that-Jack-Built organization (...homework could be disrupting the learning. Many students study the night before a big test, but if they have extra homework then their studying time is cut short. Takeing away the chance to do great) that while weak, demonstrates an attempt to persuade the reader. While the essay is focused on the idea of too much homework, only some supporting details are provided, and development is mostly list-like without elaboration to clarify and explain the points. The persuasive conclusion, which includes a call to action (I hope you will make the best decision, the right decision and say no to extra homework), an attempt at an organizational pattern, but it provides little sense of wholeness or completeness. Transitions, when used, are basic and ineffective (First of all, Also, So). The essay demonstrates limited vocabulary and little variety in sentence length and structure. The sense of the person behind the words is minimal. Despite an attempt to use persuasive techniques, the best-fit Content, Organization, and Style score for this piece of writing is a 2.

COS 2 (low 2)



Dear, ________ School Board In this letter I’m going to tell you why I think that we should not have homework daily for every class. In my opinion I think that we should not have homework daily and for every class. I say this because if it happens and somebody gets behind because theres a problem that their stuck on and there is nobody there to help them so their grade goes down from it. I also think that we shouldn’t because we would be working too hard and too long, and we would get tired so we would want to sleep in and not come to school. Some people would also get behind because it would be too much work and they would just give up. If people do sports they might not have the time to do their homework because what if their practices run late. If some people do do sports they probably wouldn’t be able to play for very long because they would be failing or pretty close to it. Some people also have jobs so they wouldn’t beable to do their work because would have to work the night shift and they wouldn’t get home until late, so they would want to go to sleep. That’s the reason why I think that we should not have homework everyday and in every class. Sincerely,

# 5 Intro T D/E D E,D T D/E D/E E Concl

This response demonstrates a weak ability to persuade a reader. The opening is a simple statement that includes a position (...I’m going to tell you why I think that we should not have homework daily for every class). The first developmental paragraph restates the position and attempts to persuasively show how this action will impact grades through the use of a brief House-that-Jack-Built pattern, with one idea leading to the next to reach an outcome (...because if it happens and somebody gets behind because theres a problem that their stuck on and there is nobody to help them so their grade goes down from it); specific support is thin. The remainder of the paragraph offers two reasons (...because we would be working too hard and too long...because it would be too much work), with limited support for each reason. Development of both reasons is in the form of brief extensions (...we would get tired so we would want to sleep in and not come to school...they would just give up). The second developmental paragraph includes two new reasons (If people do sports they might not have the time...Some people also have jobs so they wouldn’t be able) that are both given some extended support (If some people do do sports they wouldn’t be able to play for very long because they would be failing or pretty close to it...because they would have to work the night shift and they wouldn’t get home until late, so they would want to go to sleep). A closing statement merely confirms the position by paraphrasing the opening assertion. There is a basic, formulaic organizational pattern, and support lacks specificity and consistency. One rhetorical question (...what if their practices run late) and the brief instance of a House-that-Jack-Built organization demonstrate an attempt to be persuasive. Predictable word choice and minimal sentence variety result in only a slight sense of the person behind the words. The best-fit Content, Organization, and Style score for this piece of writing is a 2.

COS 2



Dear school board members there should be no required homework. It will just create a problem for students and teachers. Especially for the students with sports or other after school activities like tutor or have a after school job. Because the people that Play sports stay after school for 2 to 3 hours. And the people that tutor have to stay after an hour or two. But the people with Jobs might have to stay at work for 5 or 6 hours. So that gives all of those people a dis advantage to all of the other kids who don’t Play sports tutor or have job. Also it gives the teachers a dis advantage to with all of the extra work to grade they could get behind on the grades and give less assignments so the can catch up. Or they might have to spend all of there free time at night grading all of the extra work. So in the end every body loses the teachers and the students who do extra activities after school.

# 6 Intro T D,D E T/D D Concl

This response demonstrates a weak ability to persuade a reader. The essay begins with a list-like, formulaic opening consisting of a statement of position and two reasons (...there should be no required homework. It will just create a problem for students and teachers. Especially for the students with sports or other after school activities). The first paragraph addresses the second reason by listing support (Because the people that Play sports stay after school for 2 to 3 hours...the people that tutor have to stay after an hour or two...people with Jobs might have to stay at work for 5 or 6 hours) to reach a conclusion (So that gives all of those people a dis advantage to all of the other kids who don’t play sports tutor or have a job). In the second paragraph the student focuses on, with some support, the problems this causes teachers (...it gives the teachers dis advantage to with all of that extra work to grade they could get behind on the grades and give less assignments so they can catch up. Or they might have to spend all of there free time at night grading). The closing is a clear summary statement (So in the end every body loses the teachers and the students who do extra activities after school) but offers no call to action or other persuasive language. Overall, the essay maintains focus on the issue but offers limited supporting details and few persuasive techniques. There is an attempt at a basic organizational patter, but the simple transitions (But, Also, So) are sometimes misleading. Predictable word choices and sentence structures provide only a glimpse of the person behind the words. The best-fit Content, Organization, and Style score for this piece of writing is a 2.

COS 2



Dear school board, 68% of the students at my school already get less than seven hours of sleep every night because of homework from one class. There shouldn’t be required daily homework for every class. Could you imagine how little sleep students would get if they had homework from all of their classes? The students don’t have enough time. They already struggle with homework from one or two classes a day. Also if they are at home they can’t get help if they need it. Besides, learning is what school is for. The students go to school every day to learn what they need to learn and they shouldn’t have to school work when school is over. Also the students don’t really learn from the homework because, at home, they hurry through it just to get it done and they don’t care if it is done wrong. Homework is also hard on the teachers because they have to find homework for every day. The teachers might not have homework that has to do with what they are teaching in a lesson. In that case the teachers would have to make something up that might not even be part of the lesson. Daily homework for every class should not be required because it puts unnecessary stress on students and teachers.

# 7 Intro T,D D T,D D/E T D E Concl

This response demonstrates a weak ability to persuade a reader. The essay opens persuasively by offering the reader a startling statistic about the amount of sleep students get (68% of the students at my school get less than seven hours of sleep every night because of homework) in order to support the position that There shouldn’t be required daily homework for every class. The introduction concludes with a rhetorical question (Could you imagine how little sleep students would get if they had homework from all of their classes?). Following this persuasive opening, the development shown throughout the remainder of the response stays at a general level and, in some cases, is very brief as well. The first paragraph includes two reasons to support the position (...students don’t have enough time...if they are at home they can’t get help if they need it), only one of with scant support for only one (...students don’t have enough time. They already struggle with homework from one or two classes a day). As the student continues in paragraphs two and three, however, the development, while still general, strengthens. The second paragraph introduces the idea that learning is what school is for and provides some general, supporting details (...students go to school every day to learn what they need to learn and they shouldn’t have to school work when school is over...students don’t really learn from the homework because, at home, they hurry through just to get it done). The third paragraph is similarly constructed with a reason (Homework is also hard on teachers) and a few general, supporting details (...because they have to find homework for every day. The teachers might not have home work that has to do with what they are teaching...In that case the teachers would have to make something up) that while connected, are not specific or cohesively layered. The conclusion merely reiterates the position. Although the essay has a straightforward organizational pattern and includes persuasive techniques in the introduction, inconsistent development of ideas results in little sense of wholeness and completeness. With a few exceptions, word choice is limited and predictable, and sentences demonstrate only occasional variety, resulting in a slight sense of the person behind the words. The best-fit Content, Organization, and Style score for this piece of writing is a 2.

COS 2




Dear School Board, You have made the decision to make it so we have more work in every class. Well I would like this chance to tell you my outlook on this situation. But honestly I can tell you I’m not so much supporting this decision. We have many classes in a day so if every class period was to come with homework, we would have quite a load. We would be spending many more countless hours on work that we could have been spending with family. Dont get me wrong, I do think we should have some homework. But to have it for every single class seems a little much. There are many kids who participate in school activitys. And they dont have alot of time as it is to do all the work there given. And if they get more and are not able to finish they could fail the class and end up having to quit the sport. Which I belive shouldnt have to happen. Yes, schooling in very important and very essential. But to have work in every class may be very difficult. Especially if you already have so much to attend to. So if you please just hear me out it would be much appriciated. I mean the workload in school we have right now already seems so heavy, I cant imagin how diffiult it would be if we had it for every class. Well thank you for taking the time to read this. I appriciate it. Sincerly,

# 8 Intro T D D E T,D E E Concl

This response demonstrates a weak ability to persuade a reader. The introduction is a simple set up for the response, providing a brief indication of context and a position (But honestly I can tell you I’m not so much supporting this decision). Support in the first paragraph is primarily a list of reasons (...if every class period was to come with homework we would have quite a load. We would be spending many more countless hours on work that we could have been spending with family) that includes a brief concession and rebuttal to close (Dont get me wrong I do think we should have some homework. But to have it for every single class seems a little much). The second developmental paragraph employs a House-that-Jack-Built organizational pattern to discuss the impact on students who participate in school activities (There are many kids who participate in school activitys. And they dont have alot of time as it is to do all the work there given. And if they get more and are not able to finish they could fail that class and end up having to quit the sport. Which I belive shouldnt have to happen). While the organization of the paragraph is persuasive in nature, it lacks specific details and layered elaboration to clarify and explain the argument. The extended conclusion is also somewhat persuasive as it includes a limited concession and rebuttal (...schooling in very important and very essential. But to have work in every class may be very difficult. Especially if you already have so much to attend to). This essay, while indicating persuasive intent and focusing on the topic, only includes some supporting details alongside predominantly general statements and listed development. Transitions, while present, are minimally effective. Word choice is limited and predictable, and sentences are often simple in structure. Despite directly addressing the audience and some mention of personal experience, there is only a suggestion of the person behind the words. The best-fit Content, Organization, and Style score for this paper is a 2.

COS 2 (high 2)



Dear Board, I’ve heard of this new proposal, and I urge you to approve of it. It’s the best way to practice and study, as long as it’s reasonable. All I ask is that you will hear me out. Practice makes perfect. We’ve all heard the saying. It’s actually quite a perfect saying. Whatever you may do, practise will make you better at it. Even if it’s something you don’t like, or are bad at, it will make you better. So, why would school be an exception? It’s not. Some people may reply “true, but when do we have time?” Well, if you think about it, when you do give homework, its big because it’s not daily. So if you give small assighnments daily, they have much more time. Also, grade the homework on the fact if they did it or not, therfore, if they don’t understand it, they try it and practice it. Now I know from personal experiance that doing the work is the best way to study. If you try to study, you memorize things. But as in math, it is not possible to memorize every situation. You must study by practice. That is why the teens that do their work do better on tests. So home work gives you the best way to practice, and the best way to study. Keep it short and basic, and you get countless advantages other than grades. Thakyou for listining

# 9 Intro T,D,E E E E T,D E,D/E T D,E E,E Concl

This response demonstrates a sufficient ability to persuade a reader. The introduction begins by directly appealing to the audience and stating a position (I’ve heard of this new proposal, and I can urge you to approve of it. It’s the best way to practice and study as long as it’s reasonable. All I ask is that you will hear me out). The response then moves quickly into the first reason (Practice makes perfect). While the development is brief and somewhat repetitive, it shows an attempt to persuade through the use of an effective rhetorical question (So, why would school be an exception? It’s not). The second developmental paragraph, which addresses the issue of time, is more cohesively layered and, therefore, elaborated more successfully; a clear concession and rebuttal add to the persuasiveness of the piece (Some people may reply “true, but when we do have time?” Well, if you think about it, when you do give homework, its big because it’s not daily. So if you give small assighnmensts daily, they have much more time. Also, grade the homework...). Similarly, the third point addresses the idea that doing the work is the best way to study by offering the student as the expert on this situation (...I know from personal experiance that doing the work is the best way to study. If you try to study, you memorize things. But as in math, it is not possible to memorize every situation. You must study by practice). The development for both reasons, however, stays at a general level as it lacks specific detail. The conclusion includes a call to action (Keep it short and you get countless advantages). The organization of the essay is simple but logical, contributing to a sense of wholeness, which is strengthened by some internal cohesiveness, persuasive techniques, and layering of elaboration. Overall, word choice is adequate, as is sentence variety; personal experiences and direct appeals to the audience contribute to a sense of the person behind the words. The best-fit Content, Organization, and Style score for this paper is a 3.

COS 3 (low 3)



Dear School Board There is nothing better then coming home to a relaxing chair after a hard day at school. When I spend all day at school doing work and tests the last thing I want to do is come home and do home work all night. At school we have to do school work and when we come home we should have free time to do our other priorities such as chores. If you live on a farm like me, you don’t have very much free time at all. If we have a test that we have to study for it may take between 2 & 3 hours. If you have homework you might not be able to study and homework the same night. It is sometimes hard to find a quite place to work at home because maybe you have little brother’s and sister’s like me. So therefore you cant concentrate on your homework. The last thing I want to do after work is start my homework. If you are in high school with a drivers license you probably have a job. If you have to work late or you have a long ways to drive you are going to be too tired to even eat dinner let alone study for a test and do homework. Sometimes when I get home from school I am tired and I have to catch up on sleep. Even when I am not feeling well I would rather just lay down and rest for awhile. It may have sounded easy before my letter but I hope now that you have read it, it may sound alot harder and you will conseder not requiring daily homework for every class.

# 10 Intro T D E E D/E E T,D E E E Concl

This response demonstrates a sufficient ability to persuade a reader. Rather than opening abruptly, the introduction provides a lead to engage the reader (There is nothing better then coming home to a relaxing chair after a hard day at school) before stating a position (When I spend all day at school doing work and tests the last thing I want to do is come home and do home work all night). The student prepares the reader for the discussion points to follow (At school we have to do school work and when we come home we should have free time to do other priorities such as chores). The first point (If you live on a farm like me, you don’t have very much free time at all) is adequately elaborated with some concrete detail and layering that leads to a logical conclusion (If we have a test that we have to study for it may take between 2 & 3 hours. If you have homework you might not be able to study and home work the same night. It is sometimes hard to find a quite place to work at home because maybe you have little brother’s or sister’s like me...therefore you cant concentrate on your homework). The second argument (The last thing I want to do after work is start my homework) demonstrates cohesive layering of elaboration as well, with each statement connection to the next, thus adding to the ideas that are developing the argument in support of the writer’s position (If you are in high school with a drivers license you probably have a job. If you have to work late or have a long ways to drive you are going to be too tired to even eat dinner let alone study for a test and do home work. Sometimes when I get home I am tired and I have to catch up on sleep). The conclusion appeals to the audience and urges action (It may have sounded easy before my letter but I hope now that you have read it, it may sound alot harder and you will conceder not requiring daily homework). Overall, the essay is adequately organized and supported. Where development thins, the student’s use of language helps to give a sense of the person behind the words. The best-fit Content, Organization, and Style score for this piece of writing is a 3.

COS 3



Dear School Board, I am writing this letter to tell you my position on your proposal to give students homework daily for every class. Daily homework would be a burden on students. Even now when three or so teachers give out homework on one night after the student completes the first two things of homework the third becomes increasingly frustrating, and eventually students begin to wonder why they have to do this much and eventually get tired of it and quit. So if every class gave out homework every night little would get done. Having home work for every class would take up alot of time. Many students have sports or after school activities they want to do to better themselves, but cant do that if they have four-plus hours of homework hanging over their heads. Many students find home work point less. The homework recieved is usually review material that we already know. Also it is pointless to give students home work on a new subject they recently started learning about because if we have questions we have noone to ask for help. Not only does home work take time away from sports and after school activities it takes away from students most precious thing of all. Sleep. With hours and hours of homework many student dont get to bed until late. Many students need their sleep or the become cranky and ruin the next school day for every one else. Throughout this letter I have given my position on your proposal. Thank you for reading.

# 11 Intro T,D/E E E T,D E T,D D/E T D E E Concl

This response demonstrates a sufficient ability to persuade a reader. The essay begins with a simple statement about the purpose of the letter (...to tell you my position on your proposal), and although not stated explicitly, the position is clear throughout the response. Though transitions between paragraphs are for the most part absent, within the paragraphs, transitions serve to connect ideas (Even now, So if, Also it is, With hours and hours). The first paragraph uses a House-that-Jack-Built organization to discuss the burden of daily homework (Even now when three or so teachers give out homework on one night after the student completes the first two things homework the third becomes increasingly frustrating, and eventually students begin to wonder why they have to do this much and eventually get tired of it and quit. So if every class gave out homework every night little would get done). Although the details themselves are stated in general words, the ideas are cohesively layered, or stacked one upon the other. The second and third paragraphs are only briefly developed with some general, connected ideas (...home work for every class would take up alot of time. Many students have sports or after school activities they want to do to better themselves, but cant...if they have four-plus hours of homework hanging over their heads...Many students find home work point less.


The homework recieved is usually review material that we already know. Also it is point less to give students home work on a new subject they recently started). The final paragraph, like the first, also incorporates a House-that-Jack-Built organizational strategy to emphasize the importance of sleep (Not only does home work take time away from sports and after school activities it takes away from students most precious thing of all. Sleep. With hours and hours of homework many students dont get to bed until late. Many students need their sleep or the become cranky and ruin the next day for every one else). Despite the absence of transitions between paragraphs and a clear, well-developed conclusion, the essay has a logical organizational pattern that conveys a sense of completeness overall. Some variety is demonstrated in the sentence structure and word choice, which provides an indication of the person behind the words. The best-fit Content, Organization, and Style score for this paper is a 3.

COS 3



Dear School Board, You are proposing required homework for every class to improve the student learning. As a student at W--- High School, I strongly disagree on this subject. In the following paragraphs I will clarify my reasoning for disagreeing with your proposal. The classes that I acquire now, leave me doing one to almost two hours a night of homework three to five days a week. If it wasn’t for the weekends, I would be pretty miserable to be around. I like to relax when I get home, just turn my brain off and not even think about what is going on tomorrow. With this added homework, kids might drop out of school. On the other hand, more required homework means more practice. Therefore students will recieve better scores on tests and better grades in class. But how long will this actually last? Kids need their down time at home. I would consider extra homework in a few selected classes, but not all of them. This proposal may work if you start to break the freshman, and only freshmen in to doing extra homework, because they would then be use to doing it through high school. In reality, students might get behind in their classes. Most students do other things when they go home. Some families do a family-night and other just go out to have fun. So this is another problem to look at. What about the slower learning kids who already struggle with school? These students are going to be in real trouble if this levy passes. These particular students will probably be the first ones to drop out. After reading my reasons why not to add the extra required homework to all the classes, I hope you make the right decision to not do it. If you don’t agree with me, at least add only little bits of extra homework to each class and gradually build it up to the level you want it. Besides, you need to think about all the kids who you are doing this to. Heck, it might be your own son or daughter staying up late doing extra homework! I really appreciate the person taking the time to read my letter. Thank you! Sincerely,

# 12 Intro T D D D T D E,D E E T,D E E,D E E Concl


This response demonstrates a sufficient ability to persuade a reader. The essay begins with an opening that addresses the prompt by providing a context (You are proposing homework...) for the writer’s position (...I strongly disagree on this subject). The first paragraph primarily lists several different ideas (the classes that I acquire now, leave me doing one to almost two hours a night of homework three to five days a week. If is wasn’t for the weekends, I would be pretty miserable...I like to relax when I get home, just turn my brain off and not even think about what is going on tomorrow. With this added homework, kids might drop out of school). As the response moves forward into paragraphs two and three, the development strengthens, especially when working through a concession and rebuttal (On the other hand, more required homework means more practice. Therefore students will recieve better scores on tests and better grades in class. But how long will this actually last? Kids need their down time at home) along with a compromise solution (This proposal may work if you start to break the freshman, and only freshman in to doing it through high school) in the second paragraph. In the third paragraph, the student transitions back to two problems students will have with managing the extra homework (In reality, students might get behind in their classes. Most students do other things when the go home. Some families do a family-night and others just go out to have fun. So this is another problem to look at. What about the slower learning kids who already struggle with school? These students are going to be in real trouble if this levy passes. These particular students will probably be the first ones to drop out) and layers elaboration in both by adding each new sentence to the one before it to cohesively develop the thought. Even though the conclusion is a summary, it does provide a call to action (I hope you make the rich decision to not do it) and rhetorical questions appear in the body of the essay, both of which enhance the persuasive qualities. Overall, the piece has a logical organizational pattern with transitions between paragraphs, conveying a sense of completeness. However, support is somewhat general with a lack of consistent specificity. Sentences are somewhat varied, but similar sentence structures appear on occasion. The best-fit Content, Organization, and Style score for this paper is a 3.

COS 3



Dear School Board, I completely understand you proposal to enforce mandatory homework to help improve the learning process, however, I happen to disagree. I feel that along with some good that it may bring, there will be more defaults. Teachers will find themselves giving busy work that will rack up the hours of homework per night. It will become almost too much like a college and the High School experience will slowly fade away. The students will have no time for school functions/activities because of all of their work. Many classes that students take in High School do not require homework. In these classes, the teacher would end up assigning busy work to their students. Many students tend not to do their homework when they know it is busy work because they have more important assignments to do and not enough time. I am aware that many schools have 7 periods in a day. For those classes to have/assign homework every night, there would be no time for after school activities. On average most homework ranges from 30-45 minutes/night and if a student has homework in all 7 classes the will have about 5 hours of homework each night. That does not allow for students to have a job or participate in school sports. This would make students live an adult life when they are meerly teenagers. This proposal will change highschool life into college life. Students will have no time to enjoy high school. It will soon have the atmosphere of a college without the good experience. Students will have to spend all of their time working on school work and being minors, will have no time for fun. In conclusion, I believe that your proposal for mandatory homework is insensible and should not be pushed.

# 13 Intro T D E T,D E E E T,D E E Concl

This response demonstrates a sufficient ability to persuade a reader. The essay opens with a respectful, reasonable tone as the student directly addresses the audience and provides the context for the response (I completely understand you proposal to enforce mandatory homework to help improve the learning process, however, I happen to disagree). To support a position that the required homework policy would lead to more defaults than positive effects, the student offers three reasons (Teachers will find themselves giving busy work...It will become almost too much like a college...The students will have not time for school functions/activities) in the somewhat listed, formulaic introduction. The remainder of the piece elaborates on those reasons. The supporting detail is barely adequate when discussing busy work (Many classes that students


take in high school do not require homework. In these classes, the teacher would end up assigning busy work to their students. Many students tend not to do their homework...because they have more important assignments to do) and how this proposal will change highschool life into college life (Students will have no time to enjoy high school. It will soon have the atmosphere of a college without the good...Students will have to spend all of their time on school work and being minors, will have no time for fun). A paragraph, however, on the idea that increased homework would leave no time for after school activities contains specific supporting detail and layered development in a House-that-Jack-Built organization (...many schools have 7 periods a day. For those classes to have/assign homework every night there would be no time for after school activities. On average most homework ranges from 30-45 minutes/night and if a student has homework in all 7 classes they will have about 5 hours of homework each night. That does not allow for students to have a job...This would make students live an adult life when they are meerly teenagers). While the response feels whole and complete, it is not consistently elaborated. Moments when the writer uses language effectively (the High School experience will slowly fade away, This would make students live an adult life when they are meerly teenagers) are offset by times where language is less precise or inaccurate (more defaults, insensible). The best-fit Content, Organization, and Style score for this piece of writing is a 3.

COS 3 (high 3)




Dear School Board Members: I guarantee you that required daily homework for every class will “not” improve student learning. It will just stress students out to the max, & in doing so, will make them not do their homework. Mandatory daily homework would only be a hassle. The students wont even do half of it, and when they do do it they wont put much effort into their work. I know this, I am in High School right now, & kids either do their homework or they dont. Even if it was mandatory, that isn’t going to change someone’s mind about homework! My point is that if this proposal did go through, nothing would change one bit. So the kids that dont do their homework would still continue not doing it because they dont care. And the kids that do their homework every night, would just end up doing it, because they care & want to learn. This proposal would also be a hassle to all of the teachers. If we had mandatory homework then the teachers would have more to correct every night. They would also need more planning time to figure out what homework to give every night so you see it’s actually more work for the teachers than for the students. Sooner or later the teachers will also be so stressed out because they have so much work to do, that they cant have a life outside the school. So dont just think that it effects the students, but the teachers also. For those students in high school that do extra curricular activities, such as a school sport would have a hard time getting all of their homework done. The student is required to go to all practices to participate in a game. So that means he/she wouldn’t have a lot of time to do homework, & they would also stay up till all hours of the night trying to get their homework all done. This causes the student to have sleep deprivation. Over a long period time of this schedule the student will start falling asleep in class & fall behind in all classes because he/she is to tired to learn. In conclusion I would like to state that I am against the proposal of having mandatory homework from every class every night. Not because I dont want to do it, but because of how many people it would effect. And at that I mean in a bad way, everyone will be affable to my opinion. Thank you very much for your time, & consideration. Sincerely,

# 14 Intro T,D E E D E E T,D D/E D/E E T D E E,E Concl


This response demonstrates a strong ability to persuade a reader that mandatory daily homework for every class will “not” improve student learning. Opening this essay with decisive language (I guarantee you...) engages the intended audience from the outset. The piece continues to maintain consistent focus on the proposal’s negative effects for both students and teachers. The response offers layered supporting details by logically stacking ideas on each other and following a cause/effect chain of reasoning for each main point. The first argument (...daily homework would only be a hassle) is developed through not only a cause/effect chain, but also through the use of the student as an expert about the situation (I know this, I am in High School right now & kids either do their homework or they dont. Even if it was mandatory, that isn’t going to change someone’s mind about homework!...nothing would change one bit). This persuasive tone is continued when developing the second reason (This proposal would also be a hassle to all of the teachers) where the student, when discussing this point, uses a direct, cohesively layered appeal to the reader (If we had mandatory homework then the teachers would have more to correct...they would also need more planning time...So you see it’s actually more work for the teachers than for the students...So dont just think that it effects the students). The writer’s final point about extra-curricular activities is the strongest, as the student attacks this problem through a well-layered House-that-Jack-Built organization (The student is required to go to all practices to participate in a game. So that means he/she wouldn’t have a lot of time to do homework, & they would also stay up till all hours of the night...This causes the student to have sleep deprivation. Over a long period of time this schedule the student will start falling asleep in class & fall behind in all classes because he/she is to tired to learn). Transitions clearly serve to clearly connect ideas (My point is, also, So you see, In conclusion). The response conveys a strong personal and persuasive voice through direct appeals to the audience (So dont just think that if effects the students...), references to the writer’s experience (I know this, I am in High School right now...), and variety in both word choices and sentence structures. The best-fit Content, Organization, and Style score for this piece of writing is a 4.

COS 4 (low 4)



Dear Mr. School Board Member,

Students have especially busy lives during highschool with grades, classes, and homework on their minds. Most students want to make everyone happy but it is hard when everybody wants something from you, and it seems that you can’t please everyone. I have heard of your proposal to have daily required homework in every class, and as a student who knows how difficult this would be, I believe that this should not happen. There is simply not enough time, not enough hours in the day, for people like me who are involved in many extracurricular activities to possibly accomplish this task. You must understand that school and homework are not the only things I do every day. After school, numerous people are involved in sports, including me, and still others play a musical instrument. Playing a musical instrument such as piano, does not only involve practicing it for an hour a day, but going to piano lessons and concerts. This is much like sports which also involve going to matches or tournaments. Still after all these activities, I still need to eat diner, do my homework, and most important, sleep! Kids need at lest eight hours of sleep because it rejuvenates the mind for the next day and is my one time to rest. Adding extra homework will take away from my sleep which I need to concentrate on my studies. The student board also needs to take into consideration time that the students need to bond and spend time with family. We all get too caught up in the worries of life, school and work, where we don’t actually get to live and enjoy the life we’ve been given many have heard the quote “Live your life to the fullest,” but if students are constantly being given more and more homework, they cannot possibly think about the people around them who love and want to spend time with them. Please support my decision and consider all that I have said. You must think about the lives of the students and understand that we have much more on our plate than just school and homework. Please do not add extra required homework in every class, the amount we are already given is enough for me. Thanks for considering all that I have said. Sincerely,

# 15 Intro T D E E E D E E T D/E E/E Concl


This response demonstrates a strong ability to persuade a reader. The essay begins with the student speaking as the expert (Students have especially busy lives...Most students want to make everyone happy...you can’t please everyone...as a student who knows how difficult this would be) and includes a clear, strong position (I believe this should not have to happen). The student’s first point (There is simply not enough time, not enough hours in the day, for people...who are involved in many extracurricular activities) is elaborated with specific details and well-layered sentences, each logically adding to or further developing the point. Using personal experience and the experiences of other students provide persuasive testimony as well as expert opinion (You must understand that school and homework are not the only things I do every day...numerous people are involved in sports, including me, and still others play a musical instrument. Playing a musical instrument such as piano does not only involve practicing it...but going to piano lessons and concerts...much like sports which also involve going to matches or tournaments...after all these activities, I still need to eat dinner, do my homework, and most important, sleep! ...Adding extra homework will take away from my sleep which I need to concentrate). The response then addresses the second point about the amount of time students need to bond and spend time with family. The writer elaborates the point using effective persuasive language and an appeal to the reader (We all get too caught up in the worries of life, school, and work...Many have heard the quote “Live your life to the fullest,” but if students are constantly being given more and more homework they cannot possibly think about the people around them). While this paragraph is brief, the persuasive tone is clear. The consistent persuasive tone continues in the conclusion as the student appeals directly to the reader (Please support my decision and consider all that I have said. You must think about the lives of the students) and provides a call to action (Please do not add extra required homework in every class). The essay maintains consistent focus on the topic with carefully selected, relevant details, a strong organizational pattern, and effective persuasive strategies. The varied sentence structures, personal examples, and obvious commitment to the topic create a strong sense of the person behind the words. The best-fit Content, Organization, Style score for this piece of writing is a 4.

COS 4



Dear members of the school board, Upon hearing of your proposal to require daily homework for students in every class, I strongly urge you to consider the negative outcomes that this proposal will have on the life of students. I am a high school sophomore and from my experiences I believe that requiring daily homework in every class is not the best way to increase learning. I think that requiring some homework is worthwhile and acceptable. But, if homework is required in every class it will cause problems and stress not only for students but also for teachers as well. To begin with, requiring daily homework in every class will result in more stress for students who are involved in other activities outside of school. These activities could include music lessons, sports, clubs and others. With homework in every class these active students wouldn’t be able to participate in their activities. Because instead, they’ll have to stay home and do homework. Also, if students choose to still be involved in their activities, that would cause them to postpone doing homework until later at night after they’ve completed their activities. With students staying up later to do homework they would get less sleep that would therefore result in a decline of learning because students with less sleep wont be able to focus as they should during school. Next, with the average student spending six to seven hours at school a day, we need to have time to rest our brains, relax and think about stuff besides school. With homework every day (and possibly outside of school activities), students probably wouldn’t be able to rest and relax at all. This is because, if a student has six classes a day and each teacher assigns thirty to fourty-five minutes of homework a night that could mean three to four and a half hours of homework a night in addition to the six to seven hours at school. This leaves barely any time to relax when the average teen needs approximately nine hours of sleep a night to function properly. The abundant stress in students’ lives may then lead to more serious emotional problems. Additionally, with the extra homework, teachers would have to spend more time grading work. Most teachers spend some class time having

# 16 Intro T D E E D E E T D E E E T D E


students help grade work. So, with more class time spent grading homework, there would be less time spent learning which is what classtime is all about. Finally, I ask that you would please support my position on not requiring daily homework in every class. You may believe that it will increase learning but upon further examination it is clear that more homework would actually lead to a decrease in learning. This is because students would get less sleep from homework and activities and teachers would possibly use classtime to have students help grade work. Homework isn’t necessarily totally bad. It just needs to be given in moderation. So, I’m asking you to, instead, encourage teachers to give homework several, but not all, nights of the week and ask teachers to strive to increase learning. Allow students life outside of school by not giving us daily homework in every class! Sincerely, a concerned student,

This response demonstrates a strong ability to persuade a reader. The student begins with a persuasive introduction that briefly provides background, clearly states a distinct position (I strongly urge you to consider the negative outcomes that this proposal will have on the life of students), and offers a brief concession and rebuttal that skillfully incorporates two reasons (I think that requiring some homework is worthwhile and acceptable. But, if homework is required in every class it will cause problems and stress not only for students but also for teachers as well). The writer develops the first reason in support of the position (stress for students) by briefly but specifically addressing the activities in which busy students must be engaged (These activities could include music lessons, sports, clubs, and others). The discussion is furthered with a House-that-Jack-Built strategy to elaborate (...if students choose to still be involved in their activities, that would cause them to postpone doing their homework until later at night after they’ve completed their activities. With students staying up later...they would get less sleep. That would therefore result in a decline of learning because students with less sleep wont be able to focus as they should during school). The discussion of stress extends to the second paragraph as well by again using a House-that-Jack-Built organization to elaborate on the students’ need to have time to rest (With homework every day (and possibly outside of school activities), students probably wouldn’t be able to rest...if a student has six classes a day and each teacher assigns thirty to fourty-five minutes of homework...that could mean three to four and a half hours...in addition to the six to seven hours at school. This leaves barely any time to relax when the average teen needs approximately nine hours of sleep a night...stress in students’ lives may then lead to more serious emotional problems). While the third paragraph discussing the effect on teachers uses the same structure as the first two paragraphs, it provides fewer concrete details and lacks the well-layered elaboration in the previous developmental paragraphs (with the extra homework, teachers would have to spend more time grading...Most teachers spend some class time having students help...with more class time spent grading homework, there would be less time spend learning). Despite this lapse, we are convinced by the time the writer comes to the persuasive conclusion. The writer addresses the audience (...I ask that you would please support my position on not requiring daily homework), offers a concession/rebuttal (You may believe that it will increase learning but upon further examination it is clear that more homework would actually lead to a decrease...because students would get less sleep...teachers would possibly use class time to have students help grade), a possible compromise (So, I’m asking you to, instead, encourage teachers to give homework several, but not all, nights of the week and ask teachers to strive to increase learning), and a call to action (Allow students life outside of school by not giving us daily homework in every class!). Overall, the response is logically organized, provides a sense of completeness, has varied sentences and convincing word choice, and uses effective persuasive techniques. The person behind the words is clearly evident. The best-fit Content, Organization, and Style score for this paper is a 4.

COS 4

Concl

scoring set.required homework - pasco school district€¦ · making homework mandatory would make...

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