seek first to understand, then to be understood. this habit is to listen first, talk second; see...

Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood

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Seek First to Understand,Then to be Understood

This habit is to listen first, talk second; see things from another person’s point of view before sharing your own.

Page 3: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood. This habit is to listen first, talk second; see things from another person’s point of view before sharing

When I ask you to listen to me

And you start giving me advice,

You have not done what I have asked.

When I ask you to listen to me

And you begin to tell me why

I shouldn’t feel that way,

You are trampling on my feelings.

When I ask you to listen to me

And you feel you have to do something

To solve my problem,You have failed me,Strange as that may

seem.

Listen! All I ask is that you listen.

Don’t talk or do – just hear me.

Page 4: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood. This habit is to listen first, talk second; see things from another person’s point of view before sharing

1. SPACING OUT: ignoring the person talking to you while you’re caught up in your own thoughts

2. PRETEND LISTENING: listening in a way that makes the other person feel they are not important (“uh-huh…,” “oh yeah, for sure…”)

Page 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood. This habit is to listen first, talk second; see things from another person’s point of view before sharing

3. SELECTIVE LISTENING: focusing in on only part of the conversation that interests you, rather than hearing out the other person’s thoughts

4. WORD LISTENING: focusing on the words only, not the body language or the meaning behind the words

Page 6: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood. This habit is to listen first, talk second; see things from another person’s point of view before sharing

When we see everything from our point of view.

One-upping another.

Page 7: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood. This habit is to listen first, talk second; see things from another person’s point of view before sharing

Listen with your

eyes, heart and ears

Page 8: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood. This habit is to listen first, talk second; see things from another person’s point of view before sharing

The other day I saw my girl Walking with some other manThey were walking and

giggling and having a timeAnd I saw she was holding his

hand!

I stood back and spied, my eyes filled with tears

As I watched this foul displaySome overly cheerful bicep

with legsWas taking my baby away!

Page 9: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood. This habit is to listen first, talk second; see things from another person’s point of view before sharing

As I spied over dumpsters with feelings of hate

I saw them in a close embrace!Now I’m broken-heartedCause before they partedI saw her kiss his face.

That ended my garbage-can espionage

I thought I had seen quite enough

I decided to confront that devilish girl

Who I had once called my true love.

Page 10: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood. This habit is to listen first, talk second; see things from another person’s point of view before sharing

So I typed up an e-mail to that wicked female

And gave her a piece of my mind.

But I won’t say what I said, In case there’s kids presentBut I will say my words were

unkind.

I said it was the end, And right when I clicked sendI heard my telephone ring.I picked up the receiver and

couldn’t believe herIt was my little ex…thing.

Page 11: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood. This habit is to listen first, talk second; see things from another person’s point of view before sharing

She said, “Sorry babe that I haven’t

seen you all dayBut my older brother is in

town!Did I ever mention that he

is a boxerAn one of the biggest

around?!

“He’d like to meet you,But he’s quite protectiveSo behave whatever you

do,I’ll check my e-mail and

then we’ll come byAnd…oh look! Here’s an e-

mail from you!”

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