selected topics in sentence structure intensive course in research writing texas a&m...

Selected Topics in Selected Topics in Sentence Structure Sentence Structure

Intensive Course in Research WritingTexas A&M University July 11-15, 2011

Susan E. Aiello, DVM, [email protected]

WordsWorld Consulting www.words-world.net

Sentence StructureSentence Structure

Express the main message in the main parts of the sentence (ie, the subject and the verb).

Be aware of using active vs passive voice.

Be sure that antecedents of pronouns are clear.

Watch placement of modifiers and participles.

Express comparisons clearly.

Put parallel ideas in parallel form.

Differentiate between essential and nonessential clauses.

Express the Main Message in the Express the Main Message in the Subject and the VerbSubject and the Verb

Make the topic the subject of the sentence.

Put the action in the verb.

Topic as SubjectTopic as Subject

Example:Example: The dog showed no change in The dog showed no change in clinical signs.clinical signs.

The dog’s clinical signs did not change.The dog’s clinical signs did not change.The dog’s clinical signs were unchanged.The dog’s clinical signs were unchanged.

Topic as SubjectTopic as Subject

The patient was begun on 6 g of aspirin daily The patient was begun on 6 g of aspirin daily and had resolution of his arthritis.and had resolution of his arthritis.

After the patient began taking 6 g of aspirin After the patient began taking 6 g of aspirin daily, his arthritis resolved.daily, his arthritis resolved.

Aspirin (6 g daily) resolved the patient’s arthritis.Aspirin (6 g daily) resolved the patient’s arthritis.

Action in the VerbAction in the Verb

English is a language of verbs.English is a language of verbs.

The more of the meaning you put into The more of the meaning you put into verbs, the stronger the statement will be.verbs, the stronger the statement will be.

Omitting or weakening verbs creates weak Omitting or weakening verbs creates weak sentences.sentences.

What is the action?What is the action?

Is there a verb to express it?Is there a verb to express it?

Action in the VerbAction in the VerbAn increase in heart rate occurred.An increase in heart rate occurred.

Heart rate increased.Heart rate increased.

Evaporation of ethanol from the mixture takes Evaporation of ethanol from the mixture takes place rapidly.place rapidly.

Ethanol evaporates from the mixture rapidly.Ethanol evaporates from the mixture rapidly.

We made at least two analyses on each We made at least two analyses on each specimen.specimen.

We analyzed each specimen at least twice.We analyzed each specimen at least twice.

Action in the VerbAction in the VerbProlongation of life for uremic patients has been made Prolongation of life for uremic patients has been made possible by improved conservative treatment and possible by improved conservative treatment and hemodialysis.hemodialysis.

Uremic patients live longer because of improved Uremic patients live longer because of improved conservative treatment and hemodialysis.conservative treatment and hemodialysis.

The lives of uremic patients have been prolonged by The lives of uremic patients have been prolonged by improved conservative treatment and hemodialysis.improved conservative treatment and hemodialysis.

Improved conservative treatment and hemodialysis Improved conservative treatment and hemodialysis have prolonged the lives of uremic patients.have prolonged the lives of uremic patients.

How to Find Action that is How to Find Action that is Not in the VerbNot in the Verb

Look for weak verbsLook for weak verbsoccurred, showed, was observed, was achieved, etcoccurred, showed, was observed, was achieved, etc

Look for nouns made from verbs:Look for nouns made from verbs:-tion-tion inhibition, formation, interpretation, inhibition, formation, interpretation,

etcetc-ment-ment measurement, assessmentmeasurement, assessment-ence-ence occurrence, existenceoccurrence, existence

Look for increase and decrease used as nouns Look for increase and decrease used as nouns instead of verbs.instead of verbs.

Active versus Passive VoiceActive versus Passive Voice

It was done by us.It was done by us.

We did it.We did it.

In general, the active voice is:In general, the active voice is:More conciseMore concise

More forcefulMore forceful

More persuasiveMore persuasive

Encouraged for the Introduction and the Discussion


To determine the mechanism for the direct To determine the mechanism for the direct effect of contrast media on heart muscle effect of contrast media on heart muscle mechanics, this study on heart muscles mechanics, this study on heart muscles isolated from cats was performed.isolated from cats was performed.

To determine the mechanism for the direct To determine the mechanism for the direct effect of contrast media on heart muscle effect of contrast media on heart muscle mechanics, we performed this study on mechanics, we performed this study on heart muscles isolated from cats.heart muscles isolated from cats.


It is our expectation that through additional acquisitions, It is our expectation that through additional acquisitions, we will construct a network of companies that can we will construct a network of companies that can operate first on a national and then on an international operate first on a national and then on an international basis. Initiatives have been taken to penetrate the animal basis. Initiatives have been taken to penetrate the animal feed industry in the US. Major emphasis will be placed feed industry in the US. Major emphasis will be placed on exploring and establishing a basis for serving the on exploring and establishing a basis for serving the industry in Russia and the Middle East.industry in Russia and the Middle East.

We plan to create, through additional acquisitions, a We plan to create, through additional acquisitions, a network of companies that can operate first on a national network of companies that can operate first on a national basis and then on an international basis. We have taken basis and then on an international basis. We have taken initiatives…. We will place a major emphasis….initiatives…. We will place a major emphasis….

Unclear AntecedentsUnclear Antecedents

Too many pronouns can make Too many pronouns can make the antecedent unclear.the antecedent unclear.

Children are born with billions of neurons in their Children are born with billions of neurons in their brains, but in order for them to be connected brains, but in order for them to be connected properly they need to be touched and talked to properly they need to be touched and talked to extensively by their parents.extensively by their parents.

Unclear AntecedentsUnclear Antecedents

Too many nouns can make Too many nouns can make the antecedent unclear.the antecedent unclear.

The presence of disulfide bonds in oligopeptides The presence of disulfide bonds in oligopeptides may restrict the formation of ordered structures in may restrict the formation of ordered structures in sodium dodecyl sulfate solution. Once they are sodium dodecyl sulfate solution. Once they are reduced, the predicted conformation can be fully reduced, the predicted conformation can be fully induced.induced.Laboratory animals are not susceptible to these Laboratory animals are not susceptible to these diseases, so research on them is hampered.diseases, so research on them is hampered.

Misplaced ModifiersMisplaced Modifiers

Put limiting modifiers in front of Put limiting modifiers in front of (ie, before) the words they modify.(ie, before) the words they modify.

You will You will onlyonly need to plant one package of seed. need to plant one package of seed. (no other needs)(no other needs)

You will need You will need onlyonly to plant one package of seed. to plant one package of seed. (not water, fertilize, etc)(not water, fertilize, etc)

You will need to plant You will need to plant onlyonly one package of seed. one package of seed. (no more than that)(no more than that)


Only medication can ease the pain.

Medication can only ease the pain.

Medication can ease only the pain.


Susan almost ate the whole chicken. (This means she didn’t eat it.)

Susan ate almost the whole chicken.


The robber was described as a six-foot-tall man The robber was described as a six-foot-tall man with a heavy mustache weighing 150 pounds.with a heavy mustache weighing 150 pounds.

Dumpy and overweight, the vet says our dog Dumpy and overweight, the vet says our dog needs more exercise.needs more exercise.

Dangling and Misplaced ParticiplesDangling and Misplaced Participles

General rules:A participle is a verb form used as an adjective.

Because participles are adjectives, they must modify a noun or a pronoun.

If the participial phrase does not modify the noun closest to it, it is misplaced.

Dangling and Misplaced ParticiplesDangling and Misplaced Participles

General rules:When a participial phrase introduces a When a participial phrase introduces a sentence, the expectation is that it will modify sentence, the expectation is that it will modify the subject of the sentence, which usually the subject of the sentence, which usually comes immediately after the introductory phrase.comes immediately after the introductory phrase.

A dangling participle occurs when the sentence A dangling participle occurs when the sentence contains no word that the participial phrase can contains no word that the participial phrase can logically modify.logically modify.

Dangling ParticiplesDangling Participles

Reaching the heart, a bypass was Reaching the heart, a bypass was performed on the blocked arteries.performed on the blocked arteries.

What reached the heart?What reached the heart?

Before beginning an exercise program after a heart attack, a physician should review the program carefully.While designed primarily to screen for fumonisins, other compounds have been assayed.

Misplaced ParticiplesMisplaced Participles

When completely dissected, the assistant pulls up the seminal vesicles with a grasper and the rest of the dissection is carried out in the same way.

Contingent on grant funding, the researcher also Contingent on grant funding, the researcher also plans an add-on study, in which the effectiveness of plans an add-on study, in which the effectiveness of a manualized behavioral therapy regimen would be a manualized behavioral therapy regimen would be tested in the same children (with prior parental tested in the same children (with prior parental permission); however, that add-on study is not permission); however, that add-on study is not currently before the IRB for approval.currently before the IRB for approval.

Problems with ComparisonsProblems with Comparisons

Overuse and misuse of compared to/with

When a comparative term is used (greater, bigger), it should be accompanied by “than,” not by “compared to/with”


The time to tumor recurrence was significantly The time to tumor recurrence was significantly (p=0.02) shorter for patients with MFH compared (p=0.02) shorter for patients with MFH compared to those with Ewing sarcoma.to those with Ewing sarcoma.

We determined that combination therapy with We determined that combination therapy with these two agents significantly decreased the these two agents significantly decreased the rate of disease progression compared to rate of disease progression compared to ifosfamide alone.ifosfamide alone.


Comparison of unlike things

These results are similar to These results are similar to previous studies.previous studies.

Similar to other clinical trials, we Similar to other clinical trials, we found that the two-year survival found that the two-year survival rate was 75%.rate was 75%.

ParallelismParallelism

Parallelism is repetition of structure.Parallelism is repetition of structure.

Parallel ideas:Parallel ideas:Ideas that are equal in logic and importance Ideas that are equal in logic and importance (alike or contrasting)(alike or contrasting)

Should be expressed in similar structures Should be expressed in similar structures (parallel form), either as a pair or as a series(parallel form), either as a pair or as a series

Results of parallelism:Results of parallelism:Makes the ideas easier to understandMakes the ideas easier to understand

Makes the writing more conciseMakes the writing more concise


Conjunctions indicate coordinate status, Conjunctions indicate coordinate status, but they are not always present (and but they are not always present (and sometimes are misapplied).sometimes are misapplied).

both . . . andboth . . . and

either . . . oreither . . . or

neither . . . norneither . . . nor

not only . . . but alsonot only . . . but also


If planned properly and carefully measured, this flap If planned properly and carefully measured, this flap will reach as high as the eustachian tube.will reach as high as the eustachian tube.

Problem:Problem: The conjunction suggests a parallel The conjunction suggests a parallel construction, but corresponding words are not construction, but corresponding words are not placed correspondingly (ie, they are not expressed placed correspondingly (ie, they are not expressed in similar structures).in similar structures).

How to fix? Rearrange sentence elements:How to fix? Rearrange sentence elements:

planned properly and measured carefully orplanned properly and measured carefully or

properly planned and carefullyproperly planned and carefully measuredmeasured


People started on any of these three People started on any of these three medications need to have their blood medications need to have their blood pressures pressures checked regularlychecked regularly and their and their kidney function kidney function carefully monitoredcarefully monitored..

checked regularly and monitored carefullychecked regularly and monitored carefullyOROR

regularly checked and carefully monitoredregularly checked and carefully monitored


Anesthesia was induced with ketamine by Anesthesia was induced with ketamine by infusion and maintained by inhalation of infusion and maintained by inhalation of halothane and oxygen.halothane and oxygen.

Anesthesia was induced by infusion of Anesthesia was induced by infusion of ketamine and maintained by inhalation of ketamine and maintained by inhalation of halothane and oxygen.halothane and oxygen.

Restrictive and Nonrestrictive ClausesRestrictive and Nonrestrictive Clauses

Also called essential/nonessential and Also called essential/nonessential and definining/nondefiningdefinining/nondefining

Restrictive modifiers provide meaning Restrictive modifiers provide meaning essential to the meaning of the sentence.essential to the meaning of the sentence.Every man who does that should be jailed.Every man who does that should be jailed.

Restrictive or nonrestrictive?Restrictive or nonrestrictive?

Meaning: We don’t want to jail every man, just the Meaning: We don’t want to jail every man, just the ones who do that.ones who do that.


Nonrestrictive modifiers provide additional Nonrestrictive modifiers provide additional meaning, but not essential meaning.meaning, but not essential meaning.

Every official, including the highest, will be there.Every official, including the highest, will be there.

How to tell?How to tell? If the clause within the commas is If the clause within the commas is removed and the sentence maintains the same removed and the sentence maintains the same meaning, the clause is nonrestrictive.meaning, the clause is nonrestrictive.

Every man, who does that, should be jailed.Every man, who does that, should be jailed.==

Every man should be jailedEvery man should be jailed..


What about “that” and “which”?What about “that” and “which”?

Use “that” to introduce restrictive or Use “that” to introduce restrictive or essential clauses.essential clauses.

Use “which” to introduce nonrestrictive or Use “which” to introduce nonrestrictive or nonessential clauses, and set the clause nonessential clauses, and set the clause off by commas.off by commas.


Commas, which cut out the fat,Commas, which cut out the fat,

Go with Go with whichwhich, never with , never with thatthat..


Employees will receive a bill from management Employees will receive a bill from management for those deductions which must be paid in for those deductions which must be paid in dollars.dollars.

What is meant – that all the deductions must be What is meant – that all the deductions must be paid in dollars, or that employees will be billed paid in dollars, or that employees will be billed for whatever deductions must be paid in dollars?for whatever deductions must be paid in dollars?

Oral drugs are indicated in the management of Oral drugs are indicated in the management of diabetes mellitus (diabetes mellitus (which or thatwhich or that) cannot be ) cannot be treated with diet alone.treated with diet alone.


Goals:

Clear

Concise

Readable

Understandable


Dogs treated with the test drug and conventional Dogs treated with the test drug and conventional therapy had a better quality of life as therapy had a better quality of life as characterized by a lessened degree of heart characterized by a lessened degree of heart failure and increased exercise capacity failure and increased exercise capacity manifested by improved mobility when manifested by improved mobility when compared with dogs treated with the vehicle compared with dogs treated with the vehicle tablets and conventional therapy.tablets and conventional therapy.

Optional Exercise:

selected topics in sentence structure intensive course in research writing texas a&m...

Documents

heart rate

heart muscles

patients arthritis

lives of uremic patients

heart muscle mechanics

active voice

passive voiceit

language of verbs