SELF-CONTROLSELF-CONTROL

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SEXUALITYSEXUALITY

GUARDING YOUR PURITYGUARDING YOUR PURITY Practical Guidelines for thePractical Guidelines for the Single ManSingle Man

1. SET STANDARDS1. SET STANDARDS

- Take a biblical and spiritual stance to abstain and wait till marriage.

- Preserve your body as a gift for your wife.

- Purpose in your heart & mind to control your body and strengthen your will

2. SET PHYSICAL BOUNDARIES2. SET PHYSICAL BOUNDARIES

- Don’t do anything that Jesus would not bless!

- No inappropriate or unnecessary touching, kissing or hugging.

- Know your limits. E.g.. If hugging turns you on then it is wise to refrain from hugging.

3. AVOID RELATIONSHIPS WITH UNSAVED3. AVOID RELATIONSHIPS WITH UNSAVED

- Never get involved in an intimate relationship with unbelievers. This is sin (unequally-yoked).

- Both of you live by different standards. One desires to please God the other pleases the Devil.

- The unsaved can break down your standards if you are not strong.

4. AVOID COMPROMISING SITUATIONS4. AVOID COMPROMISING SITUATIONS

- Avoid situations that increase the risk of sexual activity or encounters.

- Be cautious of places you go. Stay in public places rather than being alone with someone.

5. BE ACCOUNTABLE TO SOMEONE5. BE ACCOUNTABLE TO SOMEONE- Find someone who you can discuss your struggles with, to motivate, encourage & strengthen you.

- Allow the person to check up on you & hold you accountable for maintaining your purity.

BIBLICAL LESSONS FOR THEBIBLICAL LESSONS FOR THE SINGLE MANSINGLE MAN

(Judges 16)(Judges 16)

1. DO NOT GO TO THE DEVIL’S PLAYGROUND (Verses 1-5)1. DO NOT GO TO THE DEVIL’S PLAYGROUND (Verses 1-5)- Avoid being at the wrong place and with the wrong people

- Don’t play with fire; don’t even try to get close to it

“Instead of trying to see how many things you can get away with, try to see how far you can get away from certain things” - (D. Madden)

2. DO NOT PLAY WITH THE DEVILS TOYS (Verse 6-18)2. DO NOT PLAY WITH THE DEVILS TOYS (Verse 6-18)

- Don’t be deceived. The Devil is not playing games. He’s not using toys, he’s using weapons!

- Be alert. Don’t be ignorant of his devices, deceptions or traps

“Don’t try to test how strong you are, you might discover how weak you really are” – (D. Madden)

FIGHTING THE TEMPTATIONSFIGHTING THE TEMPTATIONS Practical Guidelines for thePractical Guidelines for the Married ManMarried Man

1. Make the relationship with your wife exclusive

- No other woman should take her place or come between both of you

- Make her your Queen, your focus, your ideal woman

2. Be careful of the time & attention you give to another woman

- Do not give any woman more time, attention, affection or compliments than your wife

- Do not give your wife reasons to feel jealous, insecure or neglected

3. Be firm when saying no!

- If a woman is coming on strong then let her off strong!

- Do not give her any reason to doubt if you are serious

- It is wisest to inform your wife about the incident

4. Be alert to any hint of attraction on either side & deal with it

- Be honest with yourself first & then pacify your attraction

- Do not lead on the other person nor allow her to flirt with you

- Never flirt with the opposite sex; especially when they like you!

BIBLICAL LESSONS FOR THEBIBLICAL LESSONS FOR THE MARRIED MANMARRIED MAN

(Genesis 39)(Genesis 39)

1.1. GUARD YOUR TESTIMONY (Verse 8)GUARD YOUR TESTIMONY (Verse 8)

- Too much is at stake: reputation/ testimony. People trust you & look up to you

- If you fall a lot of people will be affected and disappointed

2.2. DO NOT TAKE WHAT DOES NOT BELONG TO YOU (Verse 9)DO NOT TAKE WHAT DOES NOT BELONG TO YOU (Verse 9)

- Stay away from forbidden fruit

- Don’t trespass against your neighbor or his property

3.3. GOD IS WATCHING YOU (Verse 9)GOD IS WATCHING YOU (Verse 9)

- Remember your commitment to God

- Sin will displease God and affect your relationship with Him

4.4. IF THE KITCHEN STARTS TO GET HOT, GET OUT! (Verse 12)IF THE KITCHEN STARTS TO GET HOT, GET OUT! (Verse 12)

- Find a way of escape when temptation tries to hold you down

- Don’t try to reason, just run!