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- 1. Who am I ? Write twenty statements about Who am I?
- 2. Who Am I? Four types of likely answers Physical Description: Social Roles Personal Traits: Existential Statements
- 3. Self Concept .The term self-concept is a general term used to refer to how someone thinks about or perceives themselves. is how we think about and evaluate ourselves
- 4. Guided imagery Lets go back to our early years of life. Go back as far as you can into your early childhood. May be when you had started going to school. You were a tiny little being. Can you recall the people around you? Your parents,: your father, your mother, your grandfather, your grandmother, your brother, your sister. Meet them all. What do you hear them saying to you. Hear them closely. What do you hear them say to you, what do they admire in you. What are they saying, you are good at? What do they appreciate in you? Things that you are able to do or the way you are? Do you hear somebody getting angry with you? Is there anyone telling that they are upset with you the way you are? Or the things that you do or are unable to do
- 5. You are studying many subjects in the school now you go in for many co curricular activities sports ,music ,dance Craft , Clay work or other activities .What do you hear your teachers say to you . do they tell you what you good at , what do they value you for. What about your friends, what do they admire in you? What do they appreciate you for? Hear them all, all of them. Do you come across any teacher who is upset with you the one who shouts at you, rebukes? What are they upset about? Life moves on you are a teenager now? How do you look at yourself? Do you find yourself happy? Do you feel a sense of pride? How do people around you look at you? Your father or mother, Your sister, brother, neighbors? What are people critical about? What are they appreciative about? Who are the people who are constantly irritating you, make you feel nervous; Make you feel less, incompetent. How do you look at yourself?
- 6. You are a young adult now; you have your own very way of looking at yourself. Even you can see some strengths in yourself, The things you are competent in . Your sense of responsibility, your values, your way of being with people. You hear others appreciate you, admire you but you also hear people criticize you, laugh at you, say things about you. Can you hear them what are they saying to you. What are they saying about you? Today you have had a close look at your life. The way people look at you. You are able to count your strengths and limitations. Some, you agree with and some that you do not agree with. Things that give you a sense of pride and happiness. Also you heard people say things that make you feel low, less and inadequate. Lets open our eyes after committing to ourselves that I am going to do everything to make my life meaningful valuable and happy.
- 7. Sharing Lets pair up with somebody in the group I want to share my life experiences with . Is my present concept of myself in any ways linked to the voices I have been hearing in the past (both the positive and the negative messages) has my concept of self changed over the years ? What brought about the change (both the positive and the negative?) How are we feeling?
- 8. Self Concept Carl Rogers Believes that Self Concept has three different components: Self image :The view you have of yourself Attributes / Characteristics Self esteem or self-worth: How much value you place on yourself Ideal self : What you wish you were really like
- 9. Self Worth What the being is worthy of a unique being a sacred being worthy of being loved worthy of a life Quality of life worthy of opportunities worthy of experiences worthy of dignity
- 10. Self Esteem 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Its the amount of real self that you dare to show to people. Is a screen or veil that hides what is threatening to reveal A crust one forms around ones real self in orders to survive in a social system or relationships Each individual is unique and different however differences are not always affirmed or celebrated individuals develop consequently graded levels of self esteem. The more characteristics of ones true self that are not affirmed or on appearance are severely punished and violated the greater the defensive screen created by the self to protect oneself.
- 11. Rate Yourself on the following behaviors on a scale of 1-10 Shy 1..10 Timid 110 Reserved 1 10 Quiet Attention Seeking Clinging Aggressive 110 Bullying 110 110 110 110
- 12. Rate Yourself on the following behaviors on a scale of 1-10 Resistance to new challenges 110 Fearful of failure 110 Being upset by Mistake 110 Nervous of exams 10 1 Perfectionism 10 1
- 13. Dimensions of Self Esteem Two central dimensions of self esteem Feeling of being lovable Feeling of being capable
- 14. Dimensions of Self Esteem Doubts his / her Lovability Shy Doubts his / her Capability Resistance Timid challenges Reserved Quiet Easily Attention to new Seeking Fearful of failure upset by mistakes Clinging Nervous of exams Aggressive Perfectionists Bullying Overly diligent
- 15. Determinants of self esteem THE REACTION OF OTHERS . If people admire us, flatter us, seek out our company, listen attentively and agree with us we tend to develop a positive selfimage. If they avoid us, neglect us, tell us things about ourselves that we dont want to hear we develop a negative self-image. COMPARISON WITH OTHERS . If the people we compare ourselves with (our reference group) appear to be more successful, happier, richer, better looking than ourselves we tend to develop a negative self image BUT if they are less successful than us our image will be positive.
- 16. Determinants of self esteem SOCIAL ROLES . Some social roles carry prestige e.g. doctor, airline pilot, TV. presenter, premiership footballer and this promotes selfesteem. Other roles carry stigma. E.g. prisoner, mental hospital patient, refuse collector or unemployed person. IDENTIFICATION . Roles arent just out there. They also become part of our personality i.e. we identity with the positions we occupy, the roles we play and the groups we belong to.
- 17. Three Faces of Low Self Esteem Face I Acts happy and successful, but is really terrified of failure Lives with the constant fear that she or he will be "found out." Needs continuous successes to maintain the mask of positive self-esteem, which may lead to problems with perfectionism, procrastination, competition, and burn-out.
- 18. Three Faces of Low Self Esteem Face II Acts like the opinions or good will of others especially people who are important or powerful Lives with constant anger about not feeling "good enough." Continuously needs to prove that others' judgments and criticisms don't hurt, may lead to problems like blaming others excessively, breaking rules or laws, or fighting authority.
- 19. Three Faces of Low Self Esteem Face III Acts helpless and unable to cope with the world and waits for someone to come to the rescue. Uses self-pity or indifference as a shield against fear of taking responsibility for changing his or her life. Looks constantly to others for guidance, which can lead to such problems as lacking assertiveness skills, under-achievement, and excessive reliance on others in relationships.
- 20. Indicators of High Self Esteem is competent to deal with life's basic challenges (selfefficacy) Feels that one is deserving of success, love, and friendships, and the acceptance of positive feelings such as pride and joyas "natural" and proper to one's existence. Is self-reflective and capable of independent thought; taking responsibility for and authentically asserting one's thoughts, beliefs, values, and actions; pursuing meaningful life goals; Can work harmoniously in a group takes people along adhere to moral values that are based on reason.
- 21. High Self Esteem Only 5 10 percent of population Marginal protectors Loving Spontaneous Unique / different Individual Expansive Adventurous Creative Fearless
- 22. Middle Self Esteem people Work towords hiding some aspects of their behaviors /inabilities Their protectors are a moderate in nature Uncertain Tentative Dependent Concerned about how other see them
- 23. Consequences of Low Self-Esteem can have devastating consequences. can create anxiety, stress, loneliness and increased likelihood for depression. can cause problems with friendships and relationships. can seriously impair academic and job performance. can lead to underachievement and increased vulnerability to drug and alcohol abuse. Worst of all, these negative consequences themselves reinforce the negative self-image and can take a person into a downward spiral of lower and lower self-esteem and increasingly non-productive or even actively selfdestructive behavior.
- 24. Group Activity How can we Enhance Self Esteem ? How can I enhance my self esteem? How can I contribute to enhancement of self esteem of others? Discussion, Presentation
- 25. Three Steps to Better Self-Esteem you must first believe that you can change it. Change doesn't necessarily happen quickly or easily, but it can happen. You are not powerless! Once you have accepted, or are at least willing to entertain the possibility that you are not powerless, there are three steps you can take to begin to change your self-esteem: Step 1: Rebut (refute)the Inner Critic Step 2: Practice Self-Nurturing Step 3: Get Help from Others
- 26. Step 1: Rebut the Inner Critic The first important step in improving self-esteem is to begin to challenge the negative messages of the critical inner voice "People said they liked my presentation, but it was nowhere near as good as it should have been. I can't believe no-one noticed all the places I messed up. I'm such an impostor." Be Reassuring: "Wow, they really liked it! Maybe it wasn't perfect, but I worked hard on that presentation and did a good job. I'm proud of myself. This was a success."
- 27. Step 1: Rebut the Inner Critic "He is frowning. He didn't say anything, but I know it means that he doesn't like me!" Challenge Illogic: "O.K., he's frowning, but I don't know why. It could have nothing to do with me. Maybe I should ask."
- 28. Step 2: Practice Self-Nurturing Rebutting your critical inner voice is an important first step, but it is not enough. Since our selfesteem is in part due to how others have treated us in the past, the second step to more healthy self-esteem is to begin to treat yourself as a worthwhile person. Start to challenge past negative experiences or messages by nurturing and caring for yourself in ways that show that you are valuable, competent, deserving and lovable.
- 29. Step 2: Practice Self-Nurturing Practice Basic Self-Care Plan Fun & Relaxing Things For Yourself Get enough sleep, eat in a healthy fashion, get regular exercise, practice good hygiene, and so forth. You could go to a movie, take a nap, get a massage, plant a garden, buy a pet, learn to meditate-whatever you enjoy. Reward Yourself For Your Accomplishments You could take an off to celebrate good grades, spend time with a friend, or compliment yourself for making certain things possible. Remind Yourself of Your Strengths & Achievements One way is to make a list of things you like about yourself. Or keep a 'success' file of awards, certificates and positive letters or citations. Keep mementos of accomplishments you are proud of where you can see them.
- 30. Step 2: Practice Self-Nurturing Forgive Yourself When You Don't Do All You'd Hoped Don't be critical of yourself Self-Nurture Even When You Don't Feel You Deserve It "Fake it" until you can "make it." When you treat yourself like you deserve to feel good and be nurtured, slowly you'll come to believe it.
- 31. Step 3: Get Help from Others Getting help from others is often the most important step a person can take to improve his or her self-esteem, but it can also be the most difficult. People with low self-esteem often don't ask for help because they feel they don't deserve it. Ask for Support from Friends Ask friends to tell you what they like about you or think you do well. Ask someone who cares about you to just listen to you "vent" for a little while without trying to "fix" things. Ask someone who loves you to remind you that they do.
- 32. Step 3: Get Help from Others Get Help from Teachers & Other Helpers Go to professors or advisors or tutors to ask for help in classes if this is a problem for you. Remember : They are there to help you learn! If you lack self-confidence in certain areas, take classes or try out new activities to increase your sense of competence (for example, join a dance club, take swimming lessons, etc.) Talk to a Therapist or Counselor Sometimes low self-esteem can feel so painful or difficult to overcome that the professional help of a therapist or counselor is needed. Talking to a counselor is a good way to learn more about your selfesteem issues and begin to improve your self-esteem.
- 33. Smile and laugh more Don't take yourself or life so seriously Realize that if you fail it is not the end of the world Walk everyday whenever you can (for exercise but also your brain needs fresh air) Dream about new possibilities Reflect on your successes and believe in yourself Do things you love as often as possible Welcome new challenges and experiences Stay away from activities and people that put you down or make you feel incapable
- 34. Do not watch, listen or read negative or evil things (especially violent, depressive or insane things) Try to avoid becoming obsessed with anything (moderation is self-control) Try to find beauty in everything and put your focus on beautiful things Enjoy some quiet time each day Try to help others Encourage and want others to succeed Be generous in everyway including financially Be honest to yourself and others