Sentence Level Revisions

BA 6

Essay Check

Thesis Organizational Sentence (if you need one) Topic Sentence 1 Topic Sentence 2 Topic Sentence 3 Conclusion

✔ Thesis

Does the thesis clearly state the purpose of your literature review?

Make sure you are not setting up an argument or an informative essay. However, you will want the topic you are

reviewing to be something you can argue about for draft 2.1

Is the thesis focused on a narrow topic?

✔ Organizational Sentence/Introduction

A statement telling the reader what major points you are going to cover

Do your topic sentences CLEARLY relate to your organizational statement and/or the thesis? Are they built off of it?

Do you set a clear structure for your paper? Do you set a clear scope (focus) for your paper? Do you follow the order of the topics you set up?

✔ Topic Sentences 1-3

Each topic is a mini thesis Each paragraph is a mini essay

Contains Opening Main idea Support Closing

ASK: does each sentence in the paragraph directly support this topic sentence? The thesis?

Body Sentences…

All of the information in each sentence needs to be relevant

Cut fluff Check that all your sentences answer the

question “so what?”

Body Sentences…

Find your pronouns: “it,” “they, “these,” “them”; can you fill that space with a better word or phrase?

Make stronger sentences by removing “to be” verbs

Still stuck? Try removing as many articles (a, an, the) as possible (and reasonable)

Sentence Level Revision

5 R’s { Restructure sentences or p.graph

Reword concepts Reorder sentences or

comp’s Remove sentences and

fluff Readdress thesis/topic

Try this!

Make sure you have a thesis that is Sets up a Literature

Review Strong Clear Focused

Take a paragraph, at least 6-8 sentences, and revise it using 3-5 of the 5 R’s

You have 10-15 minutes

Now Trade!

1. Evaluate their thesis: Does the thesis set

up a Literature review? (If not, what is it doing?)

Is the thesis strong?

Is the thesis clear? Is the thesis

focused?

2. Look at their revision compared to their original:

What R’s did they use? Is the revision stronger?

Why? Why not?

Would you change anything?

Give their revision a grade: A: no change required B: some change required C: much change required

5-10 minutes

BA6

Revise a substantial body paragraph from 1.1 (at least 6-8 sentences)

Write a short summary and evaluation of your revisions. Explain the revisions you have made and their impact on the

audience, purpose, and meaning of your draft as a whole.

No length requirement, but make sure you have at least 6-8 sentences to revise

Provide your thesis statement before your revised paragraph.

BA Deliverables

Statement of thesis Original paragraph Revised paragraph Summary of Revisions

DUE 2/20/2011

Before The Clock

Strikes 12

Helpful Readings

Chapter 42-45 in the E-handbook