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POCKET POWER

SERENITY

First published January, 1986.~

Copyright @ 1986, Hazelden Foundation.All rights reserved. No portion of this

publication may be reproduced in any mannerwithout the written permission of the

publisher.

ISBN: 0-89486-355-X

Printed in the United States of America.

Ftzelden

Editor's Note:Hazelden Educational Materials offers a vari-

ety of information on chemical dependency andrelated areas. Our publications do not necessar-ily represent Hazelden or its programs, nor dothey officially speak for any lWelve Step organi-zation.

SERENITY

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Have you ever looked at a recovering alco-holic in A.A., who for many years made a ca-reer out of drinking, and noticed how relaxedand self-assured he or she seems to be? Perhapsyou've even asked yourself, "How can a personwho has been such a hopeless alcoholic all of asudden look so serene and self-confident? Iwish I could look like that."

This serene person has the God-given gift ofserenity, probably the alcoholk's most powerfultool for staying sober. You can achieve that stateby following Step Eleven of Alcoholics Anony-mous. Prayer and meditation are the keys thatopen the door to serenity.

What is Serenity?

Serenity is most succinctly described as a feel-ing of well-being. Serene people are unhurried,unharried, and unworried. They live in the hereand now, not dwelling on the unhappiness ofyesterday, not projecting unpleasant uncertain-ties into the future. Serene people are character-ized by hope, love, patience, faith, humility,and honesty; praying often and enjoying feel-ings of self-worth and euphoria. Life for them

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is simple and uncomplicated.Serene people don't get boxed in by quotas,

schedules, and .deadlines. They try to meetthem, but they don't take the attitude that theworld will come to an abrupt halt if they do notproduce so much, in such and such a time. Se-rene people take the world as it comes. They arerelaxed. They participate in sports, either asspectators or as players; they read a lot; playsome musical instrument; take courses at thelocal school or library; do volunteer work; orvisit with friends. They take ample time to en-gage in hobbies; go to museums, to concerts, orto the park or beach; they take long walks andobserve the pleasant things. Serene people's in-terests are as diverse as they want them to be,and they always find time for the things theywant to do.

Serenity and Resentment

Without serenity' there is a fertile field for thegrowth of self-centeredness, resentment, de-pression, anxiety, despair, fear, anger, self-delusion, and withdrawal from society. Anyoneof these can drive an alcoholic back to the bot-tle. But the two most dangerous conditions areself-centeredness and resentment.

Resentment destroys more alcoholics than

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anything else. Once planted, the seed grows andfesters like a sore on the body. It is a constantirritant, diluting or diverting attention frommore constructive or more pleasant thoughtsand activities. If left unresolved, it can be ruin-ous.

We must learn to recognize resentments andmake it a point to get rid of them, not to harboror nurture them, lest they fester and get blownup out of proportion. By dispelling resent-ments, we are taking the first step on the road toachieving a serene state of mind.

Without serenity the chances are great thatwe may suffer from resentments and self-centeredness. And the chances are just as greatthat these conditions can drive us back to thebottle for physical and mental reinforcement.But worry and tension over countless problemscan also hit us. Rev. Vernon Johnson catego-rizes these problems as legal, family, marital,financial, occupational, physical, social, andspiritual. All are potentially fatal for alcoholicswho, lacking serenity, are not able to put theminto proper perspective.

Prayer and Meditation

How, then, do we achieve serenity? Does itjust come upon us all of a sudden? No way. We

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have to consciously work for it. We have to con-dition our minds to it. And the best way ofdoing that is through prayer and meditation.

Many people are self-conscious about pray-ing. The macho man may relegate it to womenand children, but let danger threaten him andhe will inadvertently say, "God, please helpme." A great many people who pray ask theirGod for material things, or, possibly out of fear,for forgiveness for their sins. Prayer may be ei-ther formal and prescribed, as in public wor-ship, at the celebration of the mass, in convoca-tion or thanksgiving; or it may be purelypersonal, free, and spontaneous. Public andprivate prayer supplement each other. But thetrue purpose of prayer is to establish a closerelationship with a Higher Power. It need notnecessarily call for falling down on our knees,clasping our hands, and bowing our heads.Most people get more out of prayer directed to aGod who is standing beside them; the devoutperson thus enjoys a communion with God thatis not possible through ritual.

Meditation? There is nothing mystical aboutit. It need not follow a prescribed pattern likeZen, sensory awareness, or transcendental med-itation. It does not require any props or ritualis-tic preparation. It can be learned quickly andeasily. It can be practiced on a bus, while doing

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the dishes or the housework, while waiting for aplane or a train in the terminal, or while waitingin line for almost anything. But the most satis-factory method of meditating is some variationof the following.

Find yourself a quiet place with subduedlight. Make sure your family knows you are notto be disturbed during this time of meditation.Sit in a comfortable chair and get into a com-fortable position. You may find it helps to havesoft, unobtrusive music in the background. Nobrass. No vocals. Something like Debussy's"Afternoon of a Faun." This helps, but it is notabsolutely necessary. Take a few deep breathsand exhale. Eyes closed, completely relaxed. Letyour mind go blank. You will find that gradu-ally you become wide awake inside without be-ing aware of any particular object or idea. Keepallowing your attention to be drawn inward.Many objects and thoughts will cross yourmind. Allow them to pass freely. Do not try tohold on to anyone of them. If you think of aproblem that is bothering you, don't try to solveit. Let it go. You will find that you becomeaware of being aware, of the absence of objectsor ideas which can demand your attention. Youwill not be asleep, but you won't be aware ofanything in particular. Your feelings will be eu-phoric. You will find yourself drifting.

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Allow this state of mind to continue for tenor fifteen minutes. Do not look at your watch.It will not hurt the meditative period if you runovertime. As you progress, you will find youwill rise up and become alert at the appropriatetime. When you arise, you will feel like you'vehad a long and restful sleep. You will be invigo-rated and alert. Youwill be serene. .

As time goes on, you will find you are medi-tating constantly. All through the day there willbe brief moments when your mind will drift,when you think about nothing in particular, butpleasant thoughts pass through your subcon-scious. Enjoy these precious moments. Theymay be happening now, but you may not beaware of them until you are aware of the bene-fits of meditation.

Changing Our Ways

Another way to achieve serenity is to make aconscious effort to keep from being self-centered. When we think of self, we can't helpbut project: "What if I'm not able to pay therent?" "What if I get sick?" "What if I lose myjob?" We entertain all kinds of destructivethoughts when we think only of ourselves. It isunhealthy. Conversely, it is healthy to think ofothers. What are their problems and how can

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we help them? We can visit them in the hospitalwhen they are sick, take them to A.A. meetingsif they are alcoholics; run errands for them ifthey are incapacitated. We can listen and sym-pathize when they are troubled and need ashoulder to cry on.

We can also achieve serenity by planning howwe will spend our time. Going through the daywithout some sort of a schedule in mind ismuch like sailing on a rudderless ship. We keepgoing around in circles. One moment is just likethe next. And this lack of purpose can be frus-trating, bringing on a situation in which we arefar from serene. .

We must avoid the needless worry about per-forming some unpleasant task, making a diffi-cult phone call, being friendly with a person wedon't particularly like. Such things can nag usto death. If they are on our agendas, we shouldget them out of the way before we do anythingelse. This will pave the way to serenity.

Write that long-neglected letter, straightenout that jumbled closet, rearrange that messydrawer. All of these tasks are constructive andrewarding. We will think good thoughts as wedo them. Our minds will be off of ourselves. Wewill achieve serenity. This may sound like a tru-ism, but you will find that it does work.

Humor is also helpful in achieving serenity.

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Achieving Serenity

A.A. speaks of a spiritual awakening as aprelude to serenity, of a personality change suf-ficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism.This spiritual awakening need not be signaledby a startling vision. Instead, the change may begradual, hardly noticeable. Our peers may see ithappening, but we may not be conscious of it.But there will come a moment when we can say,"I feel good about myself." This is our spiritualawakening, our prelude to serenity.

Once we achieve serenity, we no longer live inthe past, no longer project into the future.There are no more "what ifs" or "maybes." We

will live relaxed in the here and now.After we achieve serenity, and as we go

through each day, we will pray from time totime. We may say the Serenity Prayer: "Godgrant me the serenity to accept the things I can-not change, courage to change the things I can,and wisdom to know the difference."

Alcoholics Anonymous has a number of slo-gans that its members use to remain sober andserene. Slogans like One Day At A Time, EasyDoes It, Live And Let Live, Thrn It Over, GoFor It, If It Works - Don't Fix It, and This TooShall Pass. To the uninitiated they may soundtrite. But they work. By constant repetition theybecome part of the subconscious, and they cropup at appropriate times to remind us that allthings change and we have only our sobriety toconcern us.

But one of our greatest freedoms is the free-dom of choice. We can choose to drink or not todrink, to eat or not to eat, to be good or bad, tobe happy or miserable. And if we choose tothink good thoughts, we will feel good. We can,through a conscious effort, ban doubt and fearby looking on the bright side. It is just as easy tobe optimistic as it is to be pessimistic. And ahappy outlook will take us a long way on theroad to serenity.

One word of caution. It is possible to think

We've all heard the old adage, "Laughter is thebest medicine." This certainly applies in con-verting the blues and worries into serenity. Mostof us have someone who makes us feel warm allover, who makes us laugh. This person doesn'thave to be a comedian, but just someone with asense of humor who sees something funny inalmost any situation and who can transmit thatlightheartedness to us. If you have such afriend, cultivate him or her. If you don't havesuch a friend, seek one out; there are plenty tobe found. And look for the humor in grim situ-ations yourself.

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we have too much serenity and become careless.We can carry it to the point where we becomecomplacent, and that can lead back to drinking.Remember, we have to grow. We have to take afew calculated risks. But we must temper ourserenity by contemplating small challenges andsmall problems we meet as we go along. There'sstill much to be done.

With this kind of balance, tempered with pa-tience and tolerance, life will be more completethan we ever dreamed possible.

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· ,Ft-zeldenHazelden Pocket Power

A series of inspirational pamphlets small enough tocarry with you wherever you go. Short enough toread in one sitting, each pamphlet uses traditionalA.A. philosophy to deal with the different stages andemotions encountered during recovery. Each title is II.16 pages long and costs 45 cents.

Freedom From Fear Just for TodayOrder No. 12828 Order No. 13398

GratitudeOrder No. 13318

HonestyOrder No. 13368

HopeOrder No. 13378

HumilityOrder No. 13388

InadequacyOrder No. 53608

Miracles in RecoveryOrder No. 54028

PatienceOrder No. 53618

Reaching Out to OthersOrder No. 54008

SurrenderOrder No. 54498

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