series 3: how to ask

How to ask!

Tips for better communication III

Tips for better communication: a 4-part series

Series 1: Building empathy

Series 2: How to listen

Series 4: How to understand messages

Executive Coach International Pte Ltd – www.liveyourmark.com

“Effective leaders ask questions instead of

giving orders.”

- Dale Carnegie


“The person who asks questions is leading the conversation.” This is a common

saying, which indicates that asking good questions leads to a good dialog. Asking questions helps to connect to others and better understand their perspectives. In the long run, if you want to become a

better leader, ask questions.


There are good ways to ask questions and there are bad ways.

Here are some tips to consider to get the best outcome to your questions.


Ask questions to empower

Do not accuse or harp on someone’s

mistakes.

The other person will become

defensive and will shut him- or

herself off from you.

In contrast, empowering questions

will open up the mind, create a

trusting, high-energy atmosphere.


Instead of asking:

“Why haven’t you finished that

project yet?”, saying:

“What is going on in the project so

far?”

will put the other person in a much

safer space, which allows him or her

to share information without feeling

criticized.


Sample:

Ask questions to empower

Ask open questions

Open questions will not limit

the answer to just one word.

They initiate the expansion of

ideas and give a better

understanding of the other

person’s thoughts.

Open questions respect the

other person because it gives

them space to express their

points of view.


Ask open questions

Instead of asking: “Do you

agree on this?”, an open

question would be: “What do

you think about this?” or

“How would you proceed…?”


Sample:

Ask instead of assume

Not asking because one already assumes the answer is a common mistake people make. Asking limiting questions that assume a certain answer should also be avoided.

Have an open mind and ask to gain a better understanding of others. Presuming things can restrain people or projects from moving forward.

E.g.: a manager may not elaborate enough on what he wants done because he assumes that his employees already know.


Ask to create a space of inclusiveness

To prevent a biased judgment, first ask a question that strives to connect as it can broaden everyone’s intellect.

Asking the other person to imagine to be in the one’s shoes helps to create awareness and may make the other person reconsider his biased feeling of the other’s actions.


Ask for boosting innovative thinking Reconsider your questions if

you are stuck or facing the same problems again and again. Repeating the same questions will give the same answers.

Ask the question “why” and “how” several times to dig deeper to the issue, that will result in a cause-and-effect-thinking.

Do not ask questions that makes the other person pick your possibilities. Maybe there is a different option that hasn’t been considered yet.


“The right question will

encourage everybody to

think in a new way.”

- Krista Brookman


Share, if you like.

executivecoachinternational

executive-coach-international


As coaching is a great thing, we like to share our knowledge we got from working with our clients over the last 11 years.

For personal expertise click on http://preview.liveyourmark.com/be-a-coach/

For more life tips visit www.liveyourmark.com/blog.

https://www.facebook.com/ExecutiveCoachInternational

https://www.linkedin.com/company/executive-coach-international

http://www.liveyourmark.com/blog

https://www.linkedin.com/company/executive-coach-international

https://www.facebook.com/ExecutiveCoachInternational

series 3: how to ask

Career