Session 7: Writing Well

Presenter:

David L. Snell, ASA, MAAA

Writing Well

Best Actuarial Practices in Health Studies Seminar – Philadelphia, PA

14-June-2016 10:15 – 11:00 am

By Dave Snell, ASA, MAAA, CLU, ChFC, FLMI, ACS, ARA, MCP

14-June-2016

Technology Evangelist

RGA

2

Why Listen to Me?

If you are a member of the Predictive Analytics and Futurism section then you know Dave as the newsletter editor for the last eight years. Prior to his actuarial career though he was editor/publisher/owner of a weekly magazine, and later an engineer and a technical writer who wrote a 3,000 page jet engine overhaul manual (which he no longer has the security clearance to read). Dave has authored or co-authored several chapters of Life Underwriter Training Council (LUTC) textbooks. When he was in the brokerage business, he was the editor of the Redwood Empire Association of Life Underwriters (REALU) newsletter, which won the best in state (California) award for two years running. He wrote the bulk of the boring patent wording for a patent he co-invented involving predictive analytics and machine learning for underwriting; but his preference is to write for readability.

3

Agenda - a lot of personal opinions and experiences

Some standard sources:

• Elements of Style, by Strunk and White (prizes today, and also free on Amazon Kindle)

• Writing from A to Z, by Ebest, Alred, Brusaw, and Oliu

• Websites: search for “writing tips”

Some basics you can get everywhere – very briefly

Some experience items that I think are unique, and not likely to be in the basic references

Some templates that you can adopt or adapt accordingly

Some miscellaneous tips you might find useful to avoid ‘no-win’ situations

Some hands-on assignments that might help engage you in the fun of writing

4

Top Three Secrets to Writing Well

Write (and review and revise and rewrite)

Write (and do the 3 r’s above)

Write (you know the rest)

5

technical background of the intended readers

personality of the intended readers

hierarchical position of the intended readers

cultural background of the intended readers

tolerance for edutainment – teaching does not

have to be boring

awareness of the unintended readers

Exceptions apply to all rules (even this one)

Guidelines to consider in your writing

6

Guidelines to consider in your writing:technical background of the intended readers

Great Writing of the World

It is only great when the reader can understand it!

7

Always define your TLAs on their first usage

… and also your tLAs and your fLAs and FLAs

Google SOA and …surprise! “service-oriented architecture”

Guidelines to consider in your writing:technical background of the intended readers (continued)

8

Guidelines to consider in your writing: personality of the intended readers

www.insights.com

Dav

e

Almost all of the rest of our

department of Actuaries and PhDs

Dave’s boss at RGA

Inspirer

Reformer

Supporter

Observer

9

Sometimes, less is more effective …

"December 22nd 1944

To the U.S.A. Commander of the encircled town of Bastogne.

The fortune of war is changing. This time the U.S.A.forces in and near Bastogne have been encircled by strongGerman armored units. More German armored units have crossedthe river Ourthe near Ortheuville, have taken Marche andreached St. Hubert by passing through Hompre-Sibret-Tillet.Libramont is in German hands.There is only one possibility to save the encircledU.S.A troops from total annihilation: that is the honorablesurrender of the encircled town. In order to think it overa term of two hours will be granted beginning with thepresentation of this note.If this proposal should be rejected one GermanArtillery Corps and six heavy A. A. Battalions are readyto annihilate the U.S.A. troops in and near Bastogne. Theorder for firing will be given immediately after this twohours' term.All the serious civilian losses caused by thisartillery fire would not correspond with the wellknownAmerican humanity.

The German Commander."

Guidelines to consider in your writing: personality of the intended readers (continued)

Actually, this was a clever

attempt to persuade

surrender and save lives.

10

… sometimes, less is more effective.

To the German Commander.

NUTS!The American Commander

Anthony Clement "Nuts" McAuliffe (July 2, 1898 – August 11, 1975) was a United States

Army brigadier general, who earned fame as the acting division commander of the 101st Airborne

Division troops defending Bastogne, Belgium, during World War II's Battle of the Bulge.

Guidelines to consider in your writing: personality of the intended readers (continued)

11

First Impressions Matter

Spelling is boring and illogical. Sometimes

though, it is important.

ON A RESUME IT IS CRITICAL!

If you won’t take the time to check your

spelling, how can we trust that you

checked all of your technical work?

Above all: Don’t Forget to Proofread!

In some writing situations, grammar is

important. In others, it does not matter much.

Guidelines to consider in your writing: personality of the intended readers (continued)

12

Guidelines to consider in your writing: hierarchical position of the intended readers

“Je n'ai fait celle-ci plus longue

que parce que je n'ai pas eu le

loisir de la faire plus courte.”

(I would have written a shorter

letter, but I did not have the time)

Blaise Pascal – probably around 1656

When writing to senior management, take the time to condense your message.

13

Guidelines to consider in your writing: hierarchical position of the intended readers (continued)

If responding to a Board member, consider couching your criticisms in a more tactful manner:

“Stuart, this may be more than you wished for comments; but you triggered a thought process that consumed me. Thanks again for sharing a very stimulating paper. You also prompted me to do a quick review of my Latin, and some French; and yet, some terms such as exegesis and eisegesiswere still Greek to me. Thanks for the education!”

“Dave: More than a few have commented on my paper, but none more thoughtfully. … Please do stay in touch.”

14

Get your most important ideas across first, before busy execs stop reading.

For management, write like a newspaper.

Headline and early sentences are to grab interest.

Your most important supporting points, or most interesting results, are next.

The details, if desired, can be read (in an attachment) on page 16 (or 160).

Assume the reader has a given number of seconds or minutes to read your

idea. Try to get the main points in before that time is up.

Guidelines to consider in your writing: hierarchical position of the intended readers (continued)

15

The stairway to management is arduous… consider taking the elevator

Prepare a 30 second speech to describe yourself

(or your current project) in an elevator.

Book Reference: No Sweat Elevator Speech, by Fred Miller

Lots of free tips and examples on websites:

search for “elevator speech examples”

Assignment: Write first draft of your elevator speech.

Assignment: Try your speech out on your neighbor and

share feedback with each other.

Guidelines to consider in your writing: hierarchical position of the intended readers (continued)

16

Guidelines to consider in your writing: Cultural background of the intended readers

A ‘Home Run’ may not

‘Hit a Six’

“When the penny drops”

17

How to end a months-long negotiation with an Asian office head:

拔苗助长

Guidelines to consider in your writing: Cultural background of the intended readers (continued)

18

Try to avoid words that are easily confused

Worst exam question I ever encountered:

What are the drawbacks of Stefan’s method? [essay portion]

This was from my Part 5 – Demography, Graduation, and Construction of Mortality Tables exam (circa

1975)

Guidelines to consider in your writing: Cultural background of the intended readers (continued)

19

If you are Asian, and your reader is American …

Pronouns matter!

In Chinese, he, him, she, her, and it are all tā (他, and more recently 她 and 它) and frankly, they are implied anyway and often left out.

In English they are quite different, and considered important.

‘as’ and ‘like’, are not always interchangeable.

“I work like a dog!” [meaning, I work very hard]

“I work as a dog!” [meaning, each morning I put on a dog-suit]

Articles (a, an, the), although essentially not needed, are expected.

Always run your article through a spelling and grammar checker.

Guidelines to consider in your writing: Cultural background of the intended readers (continued)

20

If you are American, and your reader is Asian …Don’t confuse the issue with the event time buried in the sentence. Chinese verbs do not have the various conjugations common in English. They normally place the time at the front of the sentence.

Instead of: “I am going to write this next week and I will send it to you that Thursday.”

Substitute: “Next week, on Thursday, I will send it to you.” [use largest to smallest time unit order]

Avoid unusual verb tenses, strange plurals, poorly worded logic in questions:

Instead of: “you don’t want any more of this do you?”

[Logically, the answer would be Yes, I do not want any more of this.]

Substitute: “Do you want any more of this?” [Yes, I do; or no, I do not.]

The new language of the business world may be Chinglish! (English words with Chinese grammar). Learn to recognize it, and sometimes, to use it.

Guidelines to consider in your writing: Cultural background of the intended readers (continued)

21

Correct English is not always appropriate English(if in doubt about audience, use a workaround) What is the plural of octopus?

• No, it is not octopi. Octopus is not a second declension Latin noun, It is of Greek origin.

• The correct English plural is octopuses … but who cares! How can this help me?

Dilemma:

I am describing a situation with three octopuses in a tank. How should I write it?a) Use octopuses because that is correct, and hope the reader is an English scholar and appreciates

it. If questioned, flaunt your knowledge and make the person feel stupid.

b) Use octopi because it is what several folks expect. Disappoint the reader who knows the answer and wishes you would have checked your work.

c) Use a workaround that offends nobody – “I was surprised to see that there was more than one octopus in the tank. In fact, there were three of them!”• Yes, it is a cowardly approach. But everyone is happy reading it.• Yes, the logically correct Latinized plural of the Greek word oktopous would be octopodes. Logic does not

prevail.

Assignment: In a formal report to your management, would you use formulas or formulae (assuming

you do not know their custom or preference)?

Guidelines to consider in your writing: Cultural background of the intended readers (continued)

22

“A picture is worth a thousand words”… but a well crafted sentence can paint a more memorable picture.

“Every kiss begins with Kay” – Kay Jewelers

“Wheaties – Breakfast of Champions” – cereal that sounds good for you.

“A kiss is a rosy dot over the 'i' of loving.” – Cyrano de Bergerac (by Edmund Rostand)

“The NSA is hoovering up the data” – The Economist, 15-June-2013

“Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itself”: Franklin D. Roosevelt’s First Inaugural Address, 1932

Guidelines to consider in your writing: Tolerance for edutainment

23

“Zingers” can add to the reading enjoyment – if your reader appreciates levity.

Guidelines to consider in your writing: Tolerance for edutainment (continued)

Winston Churchill – “count on Americans to do the right thing - after trying all the alternatives”

Mark Twain - “the coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco”

Sergei from Siberia - “Summer in Siberia is absolutely warm and beautiful ... for the entire day”

Sound bites - they can be food for thought - or they can bite you in the posterior

24

Avoid humor that offends … especially the sacred three topics of religion, sex and politics

Guidelines to consider in your writing: Tolerance for edutainment (continued)

25

Creativity is Great! … except when it is not!Periodic reports (daily, weekly, etc.) of the same few items should be consistent in format so that the reader can get the desired information quickly.

In this case, boring similarity may be better than creative confusion.

…

Guidelines to consider in your writing: Tolerance for edutainment (continued)

26

Always assume that any written correspondence may travel beyond your intended readers

Guidelines to consider in your writing: Unintended readers

Class action suits often harvest (hoover up) all of the emails, texts, memos, etc. of anyone involved in

a target project.

Political considerations also can result in embarrassment, or worse.

Never denigrate a third party or write anything about them that you would not be comfortable giving

them directly.

Would your mother approve of this email/white paper/recommendation?

27

General template for most reports

Early on, describe or state your main points - the executive summary

Give your reasoning in the body of the report

End with tie to the beginning

28

My template for my fortnightly* status reports

Plans from previous fortnight

Extra (not stated in plans)

Plans

Details (specific items)

* Substitute your own frequency (a fortnight is two weeks)

Assignment: how to give a status report to your boss

Plans from previous fortnight

Extra (not stated in plans)Plans

Details on specific items

29

A Better Template for Recommendations -The Six-Point Recommendation Memo

1. recommendation

2. key results expected

3. reasons for the action

4. financial implications

5. alternatives considered

6. implementation schedule

Place these six items on ONE PAGE, then attach the supporting documentation.

Notes from 1994 – James M. Benson – former CEO of many large Insurance organizations

Assignment: Recommend that your department get training in communication skills

30

technical background of the intended readers

personality of the intended readers

hierarchical position of the intended readers

cultural background of the intended readers

tolerance for edutainment – teaching does not have to

be boring

awareness of the unintended readers

E xceptions apply to all rules (even this one)

Recap: Guidelines to consider in your writing

Also:

Consider templates for various types of reports

Write, write, writeAlways proofread! … and use your company’s resources

Writing Well

Best Actuarial Practices in Health Studies Seminar – Philadelphia, PA

14-June-2016 10:15 – 11:00 am

By Dave Snell, ASA, MAAA, CLU, ChFC, FLMI, ACS, ARA, MCP

14-June-2016

Technlogy Evangelist

RGA