Y11 Intervention ENNGLISH LANGUAGE

PAPER 1, QUESTIONS 3 AND 4

NAME:

CLASS:

Session one mini test:1. Which is the correct definition of flashback?

The narrator is predicting the future. The narrator is describing events from the past. The narrator is describing events from the past that link to

what is currently happening. The narrator is describing events from the past that are

linked to what is going to happen.

2. Which is the correct definition of narrative point of view? The perspective from which the story is told. The presentation of the story e.g. diary extract/letters etc The type of story being told. The writer’s opinion about the characters/story

3. Decide if the following pronouns are either first, second, or third person pronouns.

It Me I They You We Us Them

4. Which is meant by structure in Q3? The point of view of the story. The narrators voice The focus of each paragraph The links between each paragraph/chapter The specific words the writer uses

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Language paper 1, Q3

3. How does the writer use structure to interest you as a reader in this extract?

You could write about:

• what the writer focuses your attention on at the beginning

• how and why the writer changes this focus as the extract develops

• any other structural features that interest you.

(8 marks)

How do we approach this question? Change could to WILL Skim the extract again to clarify understanding What is the intention of the source?

To create suspense/tension? To introduce a character? To move the story forward?

Consider the journey you go on as reader: Where do I start? Where do I end up? How did I get there?

Consider the effect this has on you. Highlight evidence that illustrates the focus of the source Use a piece of evidence from the beginning, middle and end Ten minutes, three paragraphs

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Language paper 1, question 3

Read the source below:

He began his new life standing up, surrounded by cold darkness and stale, dusty air.

Metal ground against metal; a lurching shudder shook the floor beneath him. He fell down at the sudden movement and shuffled backwards on his hands and feet, drops of sweat beading on his forehead despite the cool air. His back struck a hard metal wall; he slid along it until he hit the corner of the room. Sinking to the floor, he pulled his legs up tight against his body, hoping his eyes would soon adjust to the darkness.

With another jolt, the room jerked upwards like an old lift in a mine shaft.

Harsh sounds of chains and pulleys, like the workings of an ancient steel factory, echoed through the room, bouncing off the walls with a hollow, tinny whine. The lightless lift swayed back and forth as it ascended, turning the boy’s stomach sour with nausea; a smell like burnt oil invaded his senses, making him feel worse. He wanted to cry, but no tears came; he could only sit there, alone, waiting.

My name is Thomas, he thought. That . . . that was the only thing he could remember about his life.

He didn’t understand how this could be possible. His mind functioned without flaw, trying to calculate his surroundings and predicament. Knowledge flooded his thoughts, facts and images, memories and details of the world and how it works. He pictured snow on trees, running down a leaf-strewn road, eating a burger, the moon casting a pale glow on a grassy meadow, swimming in a lake, a busy city square with hundreds of people bustling about their business.

And yet he didn’t know where he came from, or how he’d got into the dark lift, or who his parents were. He didn’t even know his last name. Images of people flashed across his mind, but there was no recognition, their faces replaced with haunted smears of colour. He couldn’t think of one person he knew, or recall a single conversation.

The room continued its ascent, swaying; Thomas grew immune to the ceaseless rattling of the chains that pulled him upwards. A long time passed. Minutes stretched into hours, although it was impossible to know for sure because every second seemed an eternity. No. He was smarter than that. Trusting his instincts, he knew he’d been moving for roughly half an hour.

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Strangely enough, he felt his fear whisked away like a swarm of gnats caught in the wind, replaced by an intense curiosity. He wanted to know where he was and what was happening.

With a groan and then a clonk, the rising room halted; the sudden change jolted Thomas from his huddled position and threw him across the hard floor. As he scrambled to his feet, he felt the room sway less and less until it finally stilled. Everything fell silent.

A minute passed. Two. He looked in every direction but saw only darkness; he felt along the walls again, searching for a way out. But there was nothing, only the cool metal. He groaned in frustration; his echo amplified through the air, like the haunted moan of death. It faded, and silence returned. He screamed, called for help, pounded on the walls with his fists.

Nothing.

Thomas backed into the corner once again, folded his arms and shivered, and the fear returned. He felt a worrying shudder in his chest, as if his heart wanted to escape, to flee his body.

“Someone . . . help . . . me!” he screamed; each word ripped his throat raw.

What is the narrative point of view? How do you know? What is the intention of the source? To describe a setting? To introduce a

character? To create a sense of tension for the reader? What is the focus at the start/middle/end? How does the writer shift focus? Use of paragraphing / dialogue /

narrative voice etc. What evidence shows the change of focus / mood? How do all of the above effect you, the reader?

Model answer:

The start of the source introduces the main character of the novel, but the writer gives the reader very

little information, simply referring to the character as ‘he’. Furthermore, the lack of information about

the character in the one sentence paragraph opening, adds to the mystery surrounding him. This

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forces me to ask a number of questions that I need to find the answer to, such as: who is he? Why is

he starting a new life and why is he in the ‘cold darkness’?

The writer then shifts focus to the setting the boy is in and his physical reaction to it, ‘His back struck

a hard metal wall; he slid along it until he hit the corner of the room’. The writer has deliberately

avoided answering the questions raised by the opening, which adds to the tension of the source and

the readers need to find the answer. The writer then shifts focus from the boy to the setting and back

to the boy again with the sentence, ‘He didn’t understand how this could be possible’. The fact that

the boy is confused adds further to the reader’s confusion and curiosity.

Highlight and annotate the answer where it covers the following:

Structure

Why the writer changes focus

How this affects the reader

Now you are going to write the third paragraph of this answer:

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The extract below is the opening of ‘The Lovely Bones’.

The narrator is a teenage girl who has been murdered.

My name was Salmon, like the fish; first name, Susie. I was fourteen when I was murdered on December 6, 1973. In newspaper photos of missing girls from the seventies, most looked like me: white girls with mousy brown hair. This was before kids of all races and genders started appearing on milk cartons or in the daily mail. It was still back when people believed things like that didn’t happen.

In my junior high yearbook was a quote from a Spanish poet my sister had turned me on to, Juan Ramon Jimenez. It went like this: "If they give you ruled paper, write the other way." I chose it both because it expressed my contempt for my structured surroundings a la the classroom and because, not being some dopey quote from a rock group, I thought it marked me as literary. I was a member of the Chess Club and Chem Club and burned everything I tried to make in Mrs. Delminico’s home economics class. My favorite teacher was Mr. Botte, who taught biology and liked to animate the frogs and crawfish we had to dissect by making them dance in their waxed pans.

I wasn’t killed by Mr. Botte, by the way. Don’t think every person you’re going to meet in here is suspect. That’s the problem. You never know. Mr. Botte came to my memorial (as, may I add, did almost the entire junior high school — I was never so popular) and cried quite a bit. He had a sick kid. We all knew this, so when he laughed at his own jokes, which were rusty way before I had him, we laughed too, forcing it sometimes just to make him happy. His daughter died a year and a half after I did. She had leukemia, but I never saw her in my heaven.

The murderer was a man from our neighborhood. My mother liked his border flowers, and my father talked to him once about fertilizer. My murderer believed in old-fashioned things like eggshell and coffee grounds, which he said his own mother had used. My father came home smiling, making jokes about how the man’s garden might be beautiful but it would stink to high heaven once a heat wave hit.

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But on December 6, 1973, it was snowing, and I took a shortcut through the cornfield back from junior high. It was dark out because the days were shorter in winter, and I remember how the broken cornstalks made my walk more difficult. The snow was falling lightly, like a flurry of small hands, and I was breathing through my nose until it was running so much that I had to open my mouth. Six feet from where Mr. Harvey stood, I stuck my tongue out to taste a snowflake. "Don't let me startle you," Mr. Harvey said.

Of course, in a cornfield, in the dark, I was startled. After I was dead I thought about how there had been the light scent of cologne in the air but that I had not been paying attention, or thought it was coming from one of the houses up ahead.

"Mr. Harvey," I said.

"You're the older Salmon girl, right?"

"Yes."

"How are your folks?"

Although the eldest in my family and good at acing a science quiz, I had never felt comfortable with adults. "Fine," I said. I was cold, but the natural authority of his age, and the added fact that he was a neighbour and had talked to my father about fertilizer, rooted me to the spot.

"I've built something back here," he said. "Would you like to see?"

"I'm sort of cold, Mr. Harvey," I said, "and my mom likes me home before dark."

"It's after dark, Susie," he said.

I wish now that I had known this was weird. I had never told him my name.

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Q3: Now refer to the whole of the source.

How has the writer structured the text to interest you as a reader?

You should comment on:

what the writing focuses our attention on at the beginning of the extract how and why this changes as the extract develops any other structural features that interest you

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Session two mini test:

1. Which of the following is the definition of a verb? An emotion or feeling An action How an action is done When an action is done

2. Which of the following is an example of a verb? Happiness Running Crying River Elephant

3. Identify the verbs in the following: ‘I gave commands…all smiles stopped’ ‘The iced east wind that knives us’ ‘Sudden successive flights of bullets streak the silence’ ‘A sneer of cold command’

4. What are the connotations of the verbs you have identified?

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Paper 1, question 4

A student having read this extract said: “I feel like I can really understand what Thomas is going through, it’s almost as if I am with him”.

To what extent do you agree with this statement?

In your response, you should: • write about your own impressions of the extract• evaluate how the writer has created these impressions • support your opinions with quotations from the extract.

HOW DO WE RESPOND TO THIS QUESTION?

You do agree! Consider your own impressions with a link to the

question. E.g. what impression do you get of the extract?

Annotate the extract. How does the writer make you empathise with

Thomas? Consider language and structure here –

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zoom in on the evidence that influences you – it’s easier to write about!

Identify three quotations - highlight and annotate them as you would for the literature paper considering the inferences you can make.

Annotate the extract. 20 minutes, at least 3 detailed paragraphs

And yet he didn’t know where he came from, or how he’d got into the dark lift, or who his parents were. He didn’t even know his last name. Images of people flashed across his mind, but there was no recognition, their faces replaced with haunted smears of colour. He couldn’t think of one person he knew, or recall a single conversation.

The room continued its ascent, swaying; Thomas grew immune to the ceaseless rattling of the chains that pulled him upwards. A long time passed. Minutes stretched into hours, although it was impossible to know for sure because every second seemed an eternity. No. He was smarter than that. Trusting his instincts, he knew he’d been moving for roughly half an hour.

Strangely enough, he felt his fear whisked away like a swarm of gnats caught in the wind, replaced by an intense curiosity. He wanted to know where he was and what was happening.

With a groan and then a clonk, the rising room halted; the sudden change jolted Thomas from his huddled position and threw him across the hard floor. As he scrambled to his feet, he felt the room sway less and less until it finally stilled. Everything fell silent.

A minute passed. Two. He looked in every direction but saw only darkness; he felt along the walls again, searching for a way out.

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Sympathy for Thomas. He can’t remember anything. Fear/ rule of three

But there was nothing, only the cool metal. He groaned in frustration; his echo amplified through the air, like the haunted moan of death. It faded, and silence returned. He screamed, called for help, pounded on the walls with his fists.

Nothing.

Thomas backed into the corner once again, folded his arms and shivered, and the fear returned. He felt a worrying shudder in his chest, as if his heart wanted to escape, to flee his body.

“Someone . . . help . . . me!” he screamed; each word ripped his throat raw.

Model Answer:

At the start of the extract the writer uses the rule of three to show

how Thomas is feeling. The sentence ‘And yet he didn’t know where

he came from, or how he’d got into the dark lift, or who his parents

were’ really emphasises the fact that Thomas is completely alone

and completely confused. This makes me empathise with Thomas

as I can imagine that being alone and not remembering who you

are would be really frightening. The phrase ‘or who his parents

were’ is even more troubling as it highlights the fact that Thomas

may be quite young and heavily reliant on his parents.

Highlight and annotate the answer where it covers the following:

Personal response

Link to the question

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Single word sentence/paragraph. Emphasising how alone and

Language used to describe a sense of panic – something we have all felt. Verbs escape / flee

Analysis of methods

Choose a piece of evidence to write about:

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The murderer was a man from our neighborhood. My mother liked his border flowers, and my father talked to him once about fertilizer. My murderer believed in old-fashioned things like eggshell and coffee grounds, which he said his own mother had used. My father came home smiling, making jokes about how the man’s garden might be beautiful but it would stink to high heaven once a heat wave hit.

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But on December 6, 1973, it was snowing, and I took a shortcut through the cornfield back from junior high. It was dark out because the days were shorter in winter, and I remember how the broken cornstalks made my walk more difficult. The snow was falling lightly, like a flurry of small hands, and I was breathing through my nose until it was running so much that I had to open my mouth. Six feet from where Mr. Harvey stood, I stuck my tongue out to taste a snowflake. "Don't let me startle you," Mr. Harvey said.

Of course, in a cornfield, in the dark, I was startled. After I was dead I thought about how there had been the light scent of cologne in the air but that I had not been paying attention, or thought it was coming from one of the houses up ahead.

"Mr. Harvey," I said.

"You're the older Salmon girl, right?"

"Yes."

"How are your folks?"

Although the eldest in my family and good at acing a science quiz, I had never felt comfortable with adults. "Fine," I said. I was cold, but the natural authority of his age, and the added fact that he was a neighbour and had talked to my father about fertilizer, rooted me to the spot.

"I've built something back here," he said. "Would you like to see?"

"I'm sort of cold, Mr. Harvey," I said, "and my mom likes me home before dark."

"It's after dark, Susie," he said.

I wish now that I had known this was weird. I had never told him my name.

Q4: Focus this part of your answer from line 21 to the end of the extract.

A student, having read this extract, said: “I like the way the writer creates suspense.”

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To what extent do you agree?

In your answer, you should:

Write about your own impressions of Mr. Harvey, the murderer Evaluate how the writer develops these impressions of him Support your opinions with quotations from the text

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