seven principles for making marriages work

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Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work What the research really says

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Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work. What the research really says. True or False?. It is better for the children if the parents remain married, even in a hostile marriage. True or False?. - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

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Page 1: Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work

Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work

What the research really says

Page 2: Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work

True or False?

It is better for the children if the parents remain married, even in a

hostile marriage.

Page 3: Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work

True or False?

The primary goal of those helping married couples should be to reduce

conflict in the relationship.

Page 4: Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work

True or False?

“Active listening” has never been proven to be an effective practice.

Page 5: Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work

True or False?

Expression of anger has been associated with increased marital

satisfaction.

Page 6: Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work

Fact

Unhappily married couples underestimate the positivity in the

relationship by as much as 50%

Page 7: Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work

True or False

Bickering, passionate couples were the only group to have a romantic

marriage after 35 years.

Page 8: Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work

True or False

The husband should be in charge.

Page 9: Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work

True or False

In ailing marriages couples generally communicate clearly.

Page 10: Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work

True or False

Most things people argue about cannot be solved.

Page 11: Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work

True or False

People should not begin marriage with high romantic expectations.

Page 12: Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work

Fact

In ailing marriages the positive things don’t erode, they are just done less and less over

time. Patterns are established early and become more entrenched over time.

Page 13: Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work

Fill in the blank

Nearly 80% of men and women say their major reason for wanting a

divorce is ______________

Page 14: Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work

Short answer

Who has the most influence in setting the mood in the home?

Page 15: Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work

Marriage Killers

Harsh start-up

Page 16: Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work

Marriage Killers

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse:the most corrosive of all relationship

behaviors

Page 17: Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work

Marriage Killers

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse:

1. Criticism (vs. Complaint)

Page 18: Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work

Marriage Killers

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse:

2. Defensiveness

Page 19: Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work

Marriage Killers

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse:3. Contempt

Page 20: Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work
Page 21: Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work

Marriage Killers

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse:

4. Stonewalling

Page 22: Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work
Page 23: Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work

Marriage Killers

Flooding

Page 24: Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work

Marriage Killers

Failed repair attempts

Page 25: Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work

Marriage Killers

Bad memories

Page 26: Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work

Making Marriage Work

Principle 1: Love Mapping

Page 27: Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work
Page 28: Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work

Making Marriage Work

Principle 2: Nurture Fondness and Admiration

Page 29: Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work

Making Marriage Work

Principle 3: Turn Toward Each Other

Page 30: Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work

Making Marriage Work

Principle 4: Accept Your Partner’s Influence

Page 31: Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work

Making Marriage Work

Principle 5: Solve Your Solvable Problems69% of problems are perpetual

Page 32: Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work

Making Marriage Work

Principle 6: Overcome Gridlock

Page 33: Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work

Making Marriage Work

Principle 7: Create Shared Meaning

Page 34: Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work

Effective Problem Solving

Softened start upRepair and de-escalation

Accepting influenceCompromise

Soothing