severance package

7
Severance Package

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Page 1: Severance Package

Severance

Package

Page 2: Severance Package

“Sneeze wrong and you get sued”

One school of thought

believes once you sign a

piece of paper, it means

you are subject to the

deity powers of the

Wizard of Oz

We more commonly refer to

this as Facism

Another school of thought

follows the American tradition

of the concept that every

contract can be broken

“But what happens when you break

the contract and law & order are

turned upside down” asks the

mindless robot?

“Well, it simply means that the court

starts doing what it exists for, and if

people like Nazis and neo-Nazis

start acting pissy, then the U.S.

Army does what it do’s”

“Ohhhh! I see now. It’s so simple.

And I thought this knowledge was

only accessible to the wealthy

members of elitist universities”

Page 3: Severance Package

ScienceWhen used wrong, it’s nothing more

than a way to rationalize paying

people as little as possible

Page 4: Severance Package

The Relationship One

For all the nights of

insane arguing and

threatening to leave each

other, you finally both

realize it’ll never work

and one discovers that

there is something even

better than make up sex

– break up sex

There are 2 kinds of severance package

The Corporate One

You will see just how

great of actors your

bosses and ‘mentors’ are

when they pretend like

it’s really hurting them

to see you leave...

but keep in touch!!!

Page 5: Severance Package

They tell you

‘termination stings’You can’t believe they’re

paying you this much to

leave & never come back

Page 6: Severance Package

Don’t Just

Stand ThereM**********r Run!

🏃

Page 7: Severance Package

But Remember:

Greedy employers

aren’t the only ones

who know the law

and have lawyers

Just Playing ObviouslyStay Out Of Trouble, Kids