severance package
TRANSCRIPT
Severance
Package
“Sneeze wrong and you get sued”
One school of thought
believes once you sign a
piece of paper, it means
you are subject to the
deity powers of the
Wizard of Oz
We more commonly refer to
this as Facism
Another school of thought
follows the American tradition
of the concept that every
contract can be broken
“But what happens when you break
the contract and law & order are
turned upside down” asks the
mindless robot?
“Well, it simply means that the court
starts doing what it exists for, and if
people like Nazis and neo-Nazis
start acting pissy, then the U.S.
Army does what it do’s”
“Ohhhh! I see now. It’s so simple.
And I thought this knowledge was
only accessible to the wealthy
members of elitist universities”
…
ScienceWhen used wrong, it’s nothing more
than a way to rationalize paying
people as little as possible
The Relationship One
For all the nights of
insane arguing and
threatening to leave each
other, you finally both
realize it’ll never work
and one discovers that
there is something even
better than make up sex
– break up sex
There are 2 kinds of severance package
The Corporate One
You will see just how
great of actors your
bosses and ‘mentors’ are
when they pretend like
it’s really hurting them
to see you leave...
but keep in touch!!!
They tell you
‘termination stings’You can’t believe they’re
paying you this much to
leave & never come back
Don’t Just
Stand ThereM**********r Run!
🏃
But Remember:
Greedy employers
aren’t the only ones
who know the law
and have lawyers
Just Playing ObviouslyStay Out Of Trouble, Kids