shakespeare, william - much ado about nothing

7/31/2019 Shakespeare, William - Much Ado About Nothing

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MuchAdoAboutNothingShakespeare,William,1564-1616

DramatisPersonae

*DONPEDROprinceofArragon.*DONJOHNhisbastardbrother.*CLAUDIOayounglordofFlorence.*BENEDICKayounglordofPadua.*LEONATOgovernorofMessina.*ANTONIOhisbrother.*BALTHASARattendantonDonPedro.*CONRADE,BORACHIO}followersofDonJohn.*FRIARFRANCIS*DOGBERRYaconstable.*VERGESaheadborough.*ASexton.*ABoy.*HEROdaughtertoLeonato.*BEATRICEniecetoLeonato.*MARGARET*URSULA

*gentlewomenattendingonHero.*Messengers,Watch,Attendants,&c.

[Scene:Messina.]

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Act1

"scene"1

Scene1

[BeforeLEONATO'Shouse.]

[EnterLEONATO,HERO,andBEATRICE,withaMessenger]

LEONATO

IlearninthisletterthatDonPeterofArragoncomesthisnighttoMessina.

Messenger

Heisverynearbythis:hewasnotthreeleaguesoffwhenIlefthim.

LEONATO

Howmanygentlemenhaveyoulostinthisaction?

Messenger

Butfewofanysort,andnoneofname.

LEONATO


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Avictoryistwiceitselfwhentheachieverbringshomefullnumbers.IfindherethatDonPeterhathbestowedmuchhonouronayoungFlorentinecalledClaudio.

Messenger

MuchdeservedonhispartandequallyrememberedbyDonPedro:hehathbornehimselfbeyondthepromiseofhisage,doing,inthefigureofalamb,thefeatsofalion:hehathindeedbetterbetteredexpectationthanyoumustexpectofmetotellyouhow.

LEONATO

HehathanunclehereinMessinawillbeverymuchgladofit.

Messenger

Ihavealreadydeliveredhimletters,andthereappearsmuchjoyinhim;evensomuchthatjoycouldnotshowitselfmodestenoughwithoutabadgeof

bitterness.

LEONATO

Didhebreakoutintotears?

Messenger

Ingreatmeasure.

LEONATO

Akindoverflowofkindness:therearenofaces

truerthanthosethataresowashed.Howmuchbetterisittoweepatjoythantojoyatweeping!

BEATRICE

Iprayyou,isSigniorMountantoreturnedfromthewarsorno?

Messenger

Iknownoneofthatname,lady:therewasnonesuchinthearmyofanysort.

LEONATO

Whatishethatyouaskfor,niece?

HERO

MycousinmeansSigniorBenedickofPadua.

Messenger


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O,he'sreturned;andaspleasantaseverhewas.

BEATRICE

HesetuphisbillshereinMessinaandchallengedCupidattheflight;andmyuncle'sfool,readingthechallenge,subscribedforCupid,andchallengedhimatthebird-bolt.Iprayyou,howmanyhathhekilledandeateninthesewars?Buthowmanyhathhekilled?forindeedIpromisedtoeatallofhiskilling.

LEONATO

Faith,niece,youtaxSigniorBenedicktoomuch;buthe'llbemeetwithyou,Idoubtitnot.

Messenger

Hehathdonegoodservice,lady,inthesewars.

BEATRICE

Youhadmustyvictual,andhehathholptoeatit:heisaveryvalianttrencherman;hehathan

excellentstomach.

Messenger

Andagoodsoldiertoo,lady.

BEATRICE

Andagoodsoldiertoalady:butwhatishetoalord?

Messenger

Alordtoalord,amantoaman;stuffedwithall

honourablevirtues.

BEATRICE

Itisso,indeed;heisnolessthanastuffedman:butforthestuffing,--well,weareallmortal.

LEONATO

Youmustnot,sir,mistakemyniece.ThereisakindofmerrywarbetwixtSigniorBenedickandher:theynevermeetbutthere'saskirmishofwitbetweenthem.

BEATRICE

Alas!hegetsnothingbythat.Inourlastconflictfourofhisfivewitswenthaltingoff,andnowisthewholemangovernedwithone:sothatifhehavewitenoughtokeephimselfwarm,lethimbearitforadifferencebetweenhimselfandhishorse;foritisallthewealththathehathleft,tobeknownareasonablecreature.Whoishis


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companionnow?Hehatheverymonthanewswornbrother.

Messenger

Is'tpossible?

BEATRICE

Veryeasilypossible:hewearshisfaithbutasthefashionofhishat;iteverchangeswiththenextblock.

Messenger

Isee,lady,thegentlemanisnotinyourbooks.

BEATRICE

No;anhewere,Iwouldburnmystudy.But,Iprayyou,whoishiscompanion?Istherenoyoungsquarernowthatwillmakeavoyagewithhimtothedevil?

Messenger

HeismostinthecompanyoftherightnobleClaudio.

BEATRICE

OLord,hewillhanguponhimlikeadisease:heissoonercaughtthanthepestilence,andthetakerrunspresentlymad.GodhelpthenobleClaudio!ifhehavecaughttheBenedick,itwillcosthimathousandpounderea'becured.

Messenger

Iwillholdfriendswithyou,lady.

BEATRICE

Do,goodfriend.

LEONATO

Youwillneverrunmad,niece.

BEATRICE

No,nottillahotJanuary.

Messenger

DonPedroisapproached.

[EnterDONPEDRO,DONJOHN,CLAUDIO,BENEDICK,andBALTHASAR]

DONPEDRO

GoodSigniorLeonato,youarecometomeetyourtrouble:thefashionoftheworldistoavoid


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cost,andyouencounterit.

LEONATO

Nevercametroubletomyhouseinthelikenessofyourgrace:fortroublebeinggone,comfortshouldremain;butwhenyoudepartfromme,sorrowabidesandhappinesstakeshisleave.

DONPEDRO

Youembraceyourchargetoowillingly.Ithinkthisisyourdaughter.

LEONATO

Hermotherhathmanytimestoldmeso.

BENEDICK

Wereyouindoubt,sir,thatyouaskedher?

LEONATO

SigniorBenedick,no;forthenwereyouachild.

DONPEDRO

Youhaveitfull,Benedick:wemayguessbythiswhatyouare,beingaman.Truly,theladyfathersherself.Behappy,lady;foryouarelikeanhonourablefather.

BENEDICK

IfSigniorLeonatobeherfather,shewouldnothavehisheadonhershouldersforallMessina,as

likehimassheis.

BEATRICE

Iwonderthatyouwillstillbetalking,SigniorBenedick:nobodymarksyou.

BENEDICK

What,mydearLadyDisdain!areyouyetliving?

BEATRICE

IsitpossibledisdainshoulddiewhileshehathsuchmeetfoodtofeeditasSigniorBenedick?Courtesyitselfmustconverttodisdain,ifyoucomeinherpresence.

BENEDICK

Theniscourtesyaturncoat.ButitiscertainIamlovedofallladies,onlyyouexcepted:andIwouldIcouldfindinmyheartthatIhadnotahard


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heart;for,truly,Ilovenone.

BEATRICE

Adearhappinesstowomen:theywouldelsehavebeentroubledwithapernicioussuitor.IthankGodandmycoldblood,Iamofyourhumourforthat:Ihadratherhearmydogbarkatacrowthanamanswearhelovesme.

BENEDICK

Godkeepyourladyshipstillinthatmind!sosomegentlemanorothershall'scapeapredestinatescratchedface.

BEATRICE

Scratchingcouldnotmakeitworse,an'tweresuchafaceasyourswere.

BENEDICK

Well,youarearareparrot-teacher.

BEATRICE

Abirdofmytongueisbetterthanabeastofyours.

BENEDICK

Iwouldmyhorsehadthespeedofyourtongue,andsogoodacontinuer.Butkeepyourway,i'God'sname;Ihavedone.

BEATRICE

Youalwaysendwithajade'strick:Iknowyouofold.

DONPEDRO

Thatisthesumofall,Leonato.SigniorClaudioandSigniorBenedick,mydearfriendLeonatohathinvitedyouall.Itellhimweshallstayhereattheleastamonth;andheheartilyprayssomeoccasionmaydetainuslonger.Idareswearheisnohypocrite,butpraysfromhisheart.

LEONATO

Ifyouswear,mylord,youshallnotbeforsworn.

[ToDONJOHN]

Letmebidyouwelcome,mylord:beingreconciledtotheprinceyourbrother,Ioweyouallduty.

DONJOHN

Ithankyou:Iamnotofmanywords,butIthank


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you.

LEONATO

Pleaseityourgraceleadon?

DONPEDRO

Yourhand,Leonato;wewillgotogether.

[ExeuntallexceptBENEDICKandCLAUDIO]

CLAUDIO

Benedick,didstthounotethedaughterofSigniorLeonato?

BENEDICK

Inotedhernot;butIlookedonher.

CLAUDIO

Isshenotamodestyounglady?

BENEDICK

Doyouquestionme,asanhonestmanshoulddo,formysimpletruejudgment;orwouldyouhavemespeakaftermycustom,asbeingaprofessedtyranttotheirsex?

CLAUDIO

No;Ipraytheespeakinsoberjudgment.

BENEDICK

Why,i'faith,methinksshe'stoolowforahigh

praise,toobrownforafairpraiseandtoolittleforagreatpraise:onlythiscommendationIcanaffordher,thatweresheotherthansheis,shewereunhandsome;andbeingnootherbutassheis,Idonotlikeher.

CLAUDIO

ThouthinkestIaminsport:Ipraytheetellmetrulyhowthoulikesther.

BENEDICK

Wouldyoubuyher,thatyouinquireafterher?

CLAUDIO

Cantheworldbuysuchajewel?

BENEDICK

Yea,andacasetoputitinto.Butspeakyouthiswithasadbrow?ordoyouplaythefloutingJack,


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totellusCupidisagoodhare-finderandVulcanararecarpenter?Come,inwhatkeyshallamantakeyou,togointhesong?

CLAUDIO

InmineeyesheisthesweetestladythateverIlookedon.

BENEDICK

IcanseeyetwithoutspectaclesandIseenosuchmatter:there'shercousin,anshewerenotpossessedwithafury,exceedsherasmuchinbeautyasthefirstofMaydoththelastofDecember.ButIhopeyouhavenointenttoturnhusband,haveyou?

CLAUDIO

Iwouldscarcetrustmyself,thoughIhadswornthecontrary,ifHerowouldbemywife.

BENEDICK

Is'tcometothis?Infaith,hathnottheworldonemanbuthewillwearhiscapwithsuspicion?ShallIneverseeabachelorofthree-scoreagain?Goto,i'faith;anthouwiltneedsthrustthyneckintoayoke,weartheprintofitandsighawaySundays.LookDonPedroisreturnedtoseekyou.

[Re-enterDONPEDRO]

DONPEDRO

Whatsecrethathheldyouhere,thatyoufollowednottoLeonato's?

BENEDICK

Iwouldyourgracewouldconstrainmetotell.

DONPEDRO

Ichargetheeonthyallegiance.

BENEDICK

Youhear,CountClaudio:Icanbesecretasadumbman;Iwouldhaveyouthinkso;but,onmy

allegiance,markyouthis,onmyallegiance.Heisinlove.Withwho?nowthatisyourgrace'spart.Markhowshorthisansweris;--WithHero,Leonato'sshortdaughter.

CLAUDIO

Ifthiswereso,sowereituttered.

BENEDICK


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Liketheoldtale,mylord:'itisnotso,nor'twasnotso,but,indeed,Godforbiditshouldbeso.'

CLAUDIO

Ifmypassionchangenotshortly,Godforbiditshouldbeotherwise.

DONPEDRO

Amen,ifyouloveher;fortheladyisverywellworthy.

CLAUDIO

Youspeakthistofetchmein,mylord.

DONPEDRO

Bymytroth,Ispeakmythought.

CLAUDIO

And,infaith,mylord,Ispokemine.

BENEDICK

And,bymytwofaithsandtroths,mylord,Ispokemine.

CLAUDIO

ThatIloveher,Ifeel.

DONPEDRO

Thatsheisworthy,Iknow.

BENEDICK

ThatIneitherfeelhowsheshouldbelovednorknowhowsheshouldbeworthy,istheopinionthatfirecannotmeltoutofme:Iwilldieinitatthestake.

DONPEDRO

Thouwasteveranobstinatehereticinthedespiteofbeauty.

CLAUDIO

Andnevercouldmaintainhispartbutintheforceofhiswill.

BENEDICK

Thatawomanconceivedme,Ithankher;thatshebroughtmeup,Ilikewisegivehermosthumblethanks:butthatIwillhavearecheatwindedinmyforehead,orhangmybugleinaninvisiblebaldrick,


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allwomenshallpardonme.BecauseIwillnotdothemthewrongtomistrustany,Iwilldomyselftherighttotrustnone;andthefineis,forthewhichImaygothefiner,Iwillliveabachelor.

DONPEDRO

Ishallseethee,ereIdie,lookpalewithlove.

BENEDICK

Withanger,withsickness,orwithhunger,mylord,notwithlove:provethateverIlosemorebloodwithlovethanIwillgetagainwithdrinking,pickoutmineeyeswithaballad-maker'spenandhangmeupatthedoorofabrothel-houseforthesignofblindCupid.

DONPEDRO

Well,ifeverthoudostfallfromthisfaith,thouwiltproveanotableargument.

BENEDICK

IfIdo,hangmeinabottlelikeacatandshootatme;andhethathitsme,lethimbeclappedontheshoulder,andcalledAdam.

DONPEDRO

Well,astimeshalltry:'Intimethesavagebulldothbeartheyoke.'

BENEDICK

Thesavagebullmay;butifeverthesensible

Benedickbearit,pluckoffthebull'shornsandsettheminmyforehead:andletmebevilelypainted,andinsuchgreatlettersastheywrite'Hereisgoodhorsetohire,'letthemsignifyundermysign'HereyoumayseeBenedickthemarriedman.'

CLAUDIO

Ifthisshouldeverhappen,thouwouldstbehorn-mad.

DONPEDRO

Nay,ifCupidhavenotspentallhisquiverin

Venice,thouwiltquakeforthisshortly.

BENEDICK

Ilookforanearthquaketoo,then.

DONPEDRO

Well,youtemporizewiththehours.Inthemeantime,goodSigniorBenedick,repairto


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Leonato's:commendmetohimandtellhimIwillnotfailhimatsupper;forindeedhehathmadegreatpreparation.

BENEDICK

Ihavealmostmatterenoughinmeforsuchanembassage;andsoIcommityou--

CLAUDIO

TothetuitionofGod:Frommyhouse,ifIhadit,--

DONPEDRO

ThesixthofJuly:Yourlovingfriend,Benedick.

BENEDICK

Nay,mocknot,mocknot.Thebodyofyourdiscourseissometimeguardedwithfragments,andtheguardsarebutslightlybastedonneither:ereyoufloutoldendsanyfurther,examineyourconscience:andsoIleaveyou.

[Exit]

CLAUDIO

Myliege,yourhighnessnowmaydomegood.

DONPEDRO

Myloveisthinetoteach:teachitbuthow,AndthoushaltseehowaptitistolearnAnyhardlessonthatmaydotheegood.

CLAUDIO

HathLeonatoanyson,mylord?

DONPEDRO

NochildbutHero;she'shisonlyheir.Dostthouaffecther,Claudio?

CLAUDIO

O,mylord,Whenyouwentonwardonthisendedaction,

Ilook'duponherwithasoldier'seye,Thatliked,buthadaroughertaskinhandThantodrivelikingtothenameoflove:ButnowIamreturn'dandthatwar-thoughtsHavelefttheirplacesvacant,intheirroomsComethrongingsoftanddelicatedesires,AllpromptingmehowfairyoungHerois,Saying,IlikedherereIwenttowars.

DONPEDRO


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ThouwiltbelikealoverpresentlyAndtirethehearerwithabookofwords.IfthoudostlovefairHero,cherishit,AndIwillbreakwithherandwithherfather,Andthoushalthaveher.Was'tnottothisendThatthoubegan'sttotwistsofineastory?

CLAUDIO

Howsweetlyyoudoministertolove,Thatknowlove'sgriefbyhiscomplexion!Butlestmylikingmighttoosuddenseem,Iwouldhavesalveditwithalongertreatise.

DONPEDRO

Whatneedthebridgemuchbroaderthantheflood?Thefairestgrantisthenecessity.Look,whatwillserveisfit:'tisonce,thoulovest,AndIwillfittheewiththeremedy.Iknowweshallhaverevellingto-night:IwillassumethypartinsomedisguiseAndtellfairHeroIamClaudio,

AndinherbosomI'llunclaspmyheartAndtakeherhearingprisonerwiththeforceAndstrongencounterofmyamoroustale:ThenaftertoherfatherwillIbreak;Andtheconclusionis,sheshallbethine.Inpractiseletusputitpresently.

[Exeunt]

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"scene"2

Scene2

[AroominLEONATO'shouse.]

[EnterLEONATOandANTONIO,meeting]

LEONATO

Hownow,brother!Whereismycousin,yourson?hathheprovidedthismusic?

ANTONIO

Heisverybusyaboutit.But,brother,Icantellyoustrangenewsthatyouyetdreamtnotof.

LEONATO

Aretheygood?

ANTONIO

Astheeventstampsthem:buttheyhaveagood


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cover;theyshowwelloutward.TheprinceandCountClaudio,walkinginathick-pleachedalleyinmineorchard,werethusmuchoverheardbyamanofmine:theprincediscoveredtoClaudiothathelovedmynieceyourdaughterandmeanttoacknowledgeitthisnightinadance:andifhefoundheraccordant,hemeanttotakethepresenttimebythetopandinstantlybreakwithyouofit.

LEONATO

Haththefellowanywitthattoldyouthis?

ANTONIO

Agoodsharpfellow:Iwillsendforhim;andquestionhimyourself.

LEONATO

No,no;wewillholditasadreamtillitappearitself:butIwillacquaintmydaughterwithal,thatshemaybethebetterpreparedforananswer,ifperadventurethisbetrue.Goyouandtellherofit.

[EnterAttendants]

Cousins,youknowwhatyouhavetodo.O,Icryyoumercy,friend;goyouwithme,andIwilluseyourskill.Goodcousin,haveacarethisbusytime.

[Exeunt]

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"scene"3

Scene3

[Thesame.]

[EnterDONJOHNandCONRADE]

CONRADE

Whatthegood-year,mylord!whyareyouthusoutofmeasuresad?

DONJOHN

Thereisnomeasureintheoccasionthatbreeds;thereforethesadnessiswithoutlimit.

CONRADE

Youshouldhearreason.

DONJOHN

AndwhenIhaveheardit,whatblessingbringsit?


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CONRADE

Ifnotapresentremedy,atleastapatientsufferance.

DONJOHN

Iwonderthatthou,being,asthousayestthouart,bornunderSaturn,goestabouttoapplyamoralmedicinetoamortifyingmischief.IcannothidewhatIam:ImustbesadwhenIhavecauseandsmileatnoman'sjests,eatwhenIhavestomachandwaitfornoman'sleisure,sleepwhenIamdrowsyandtendonnoman'sbusiness,laughwhenIammerryandclawnomaninhishumour.

CONRADE

Yea,butyoumustnotmakethefullshowofthistillyoumaydoitwithoutcontrolment.Youhaveoflatestoodoutagainstyourbrother,andhehathta'enyounewlyintohisgrace;whereitisimpossibleyoushouldtaketruerootbutbythe

fairweatherthatyoumakeyourself:itisneedfulthatyouframetheseasonforyourownharvest.

DONJOHN

Ihadratherbeacankerinahedgethanaroseinhisgrace,anditbetterfitsmybloodtobedisdainedofallthantofashionacarriagetoroblovefromany:inthis,thoughIcannotbesaidtobeaflatteringhonestman,itmustnotbedeniedbutIamaplain-dealingvillain.Iamtrustedwithamuzzleandenfranchisedwithaclog;thereforeIhavedecreednottosinginmycage.IfIhadmy

mouth,Iwouldbite;ifIhadmyliberty,Iwoulddomyliking:inthemeantimeletmebethatIamandseeknottoalterme.

CONRADE

Canyoumakenouseofyourdiscontent?

DONJOHN

Imakealluseofit,forIuseitonly.Whocomeshere?

[EnterBORACHIO]

Whatnews,Borachio?

BORACHIO

Icameyonderfromagreatsupper:theprinceyourbrotherisroyallyentertainedbyLeonato:andIcangiveyouintelligenceofanintendedmarriage.


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DONJOHN

Willitserveforanymodeltobuildmischiefon?Whatisheforafoolthatbetrothshimselftounquietness?

BORACHIO

Marry,itisyourbrother'srighthand.

DONJOHN

Who?themostexquisiteClaudio?

BORACHIO

Evenhe.

DONJOHN

Apropersquire!Andwho,andwho?whichwaylookshe?

BORACHIO

Marry,onHero,thedaughterandheirofLeonato.

DONJOHN

AveryforwardMarch-chick!Howcameyoutothis?

BORACHIO

Beingentertainedforaperfumer,asIwassmokingamustyroom,comesmetheprinceandClaudio,handinhandinsadconference:Iwhiptmebehindthearras;andtherehearditagreeduponthatthe

princeshouldwooHeroforhimself,andhavingobtainedher,givehertoCountClaudio.

DONJOHN

Come,come,letusthither:thismayprovefoodtomydispleasure.Thatyoungstart-uphathallthegloryofmyoverthrow:ifIcancrosshimanyway,Iblessmyselfeveryway.Youarebothsure,andwillassistme?

CONRADE

Tothedeath,mylord.

DONJOHN

Letustothegreatsupper:theircheeristhegreaterthatIamsubdued.Wouldthecookwereofmymind!Shallwegoprovewhat'stobedone?

BORACHIO

We'llwaituponyourlordship.


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[Exeunt]

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Act2

"scene"1

Scene1

[AhallinLEONATO'Shouse.]

[EnterLEONATO,ANTONIO,HERO,BEATRICE,andothers]

LEONATO

WasnotCountJohnhereatsupper?

ANTONIO

Isawhimnot.

BEATRICE

Howtartlythatgentlemanlooks!InevercanseehimbutIamheart-burnedanhourafter.

HERO

Heisofaverymelancholydisposition.

BEATRICE

HewereanexcellentmanthatweremadejustinthemidwaybetweenhimandBenedick:theoneistoolikeanimageandsaysnothing,andtheothertoo

likemylady'seldestson,evermoretattling.

LEONATO

ThenhalfSigniorBenedick'stongueinCountJohn'smouth,andhalfCountJohn'smelancholyinSigniorBenedick'sface,--

BEATRICE

Withagoodlegandagoodfoot,uncle,andmoneyenoughinhispurse,suchamanwouldwinanywomanintheworld,ifa'couldgethergood-will.

LEONATO

Bymytroth,niece,thouwiltnevergettheeahusband,ifthoubesoshrewdofthytongue.

ANTONIO

Infaith,she'stoocurst.


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BEATRICE

Toocurstismorethancurst:IshalllessenGod'ssendingthatway;foritissaid,'Godsendsacurstcowshorthorns;'buttoacowtoocursthesendsnone.

LEONATO

So,bybeingtoocurst,Godwillsendyounohorns.

BEATRICE

Just,ifhesendmenohusband;forthewhichblessingIamathimuponmykneeseverymorningandevening.Lord,Icouldnotendureahusbandwithabeardonhisface:Ihadratherlieinthewoollen.

LEONATO

Youmaylightonahusbandthathathnobeard.

BEATRICE

WhatshouldIdowithhim?dresshiminmyapparel

andmakehimmywaiting-gentlewoman?Hethathathabeardismorethanayouth,andhethathathnobeardislessthanaman:andhethatismorethanayouthisnotforme,andhethatislessthanaman,Iamnotforhim:therefore,Iwilleventakesixpenceinearnestofthebear-ward,andleadhisapesintohell.

LEONATO

Well,then,goyouintohell?

BEATRICE

No,buttothegate;andtherewillthedevilmeetme,likeanoldcuckold,withhornsonhishead,andsay'Getyoutoheaven,Beatrice,getyoutoheaven;here'snoplaceforyoumaids:'sodeliverIupmyapes,andawaytoSaintPeterfortheheavens;heshowsmewherethebachelorssit,andthereliveweasmerryasthedayislong.

ANTONIO

[ToHERO]Well,niece,Itrustyouwillberuled

byyourfather.

BEATRICE

Yes,faith;itismycousin'sdutytomakecurtsyandsay'Father,asitpleaseyou.'Butyetforallthat,cousin,lethimbeahandsomefellow,orelsemakeanothercurtsyandsay'Father,asitpleaseme.'


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LEONATO

Well,niece,Ihopetoseeyouonedayfittedwithahusband.

BEATRICE

NottillGodmakemenofsomeothermetalthanearth.Woulditnotgrieveawomantobeovermasteredwithapierceofvaliantdust?tomakeanaccountofherlifetoaclodofwaywardmarl?No,uncle,I'llnone:Adam'ssonsaremybrethren;and,truly,Iholditasintomatchinmykindred.

LEONATO

Daughter,rememberwhatItoldyou:iftheprincedosolicityouinthatkind,youknowyouranswer.

BEATRICE

Thefaultwillbeinthemusic,cousin,ifyoubenotwooedingoodtime:iftheprincebetooimportant,tellhimthereismeasureineverythingandsodanceouttheanswer.For,hearme,Hero:

wooing,wedding,andrepenting,isasaScotchjig,ameasure,andacinquepace:thefirstsuitishotandhasty,likeaScotchjig,andfullasfantastical;thewedding,mannerly-modest,asameasure,fullofstateandancientry;andthencomesrepentanceand,withhisbadlegs,fallsintothecinquepacefasterandfaster,tillhesinkintohisgrave.

LEONATO

Cousin,youapprehendpassingshrewdly.

BEATRICE

Ihaveagoodeye,uncle;Icanseeachurchbydaylight.

LEONATO

Therevellersareentering,brother:makegoodroom.

[Allputontheirmasks]

[EnterDONPEDRO,CLAUDIO,BENEDICK,BALTHASAR,DONJOHN,BORACHIO,MARGARET,URSULAandothers,masked]

DONPEDRO

Lady,willyouwalkaboutwithyourfriend?

HERO

Soyouwalksoftlyandlooksweetlyandsaynothing,Iamyoursforthewalk;andespeciallywhenIwalkaway.

DONPEDRO


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Withmeinyourcompany?

HERO

Imaysayso,whenIplease.

DONPEDRO

Andwhenpleaseyoutosayso?

HERO

WhenIlikeyourfavour;forGoddefendtheluteshouldbelikethecase!

DONPEDRO

MyvisorisPhilemon'sroof;withinthehouseisJove.

HERO

Why,then,yourvisorshouldbethatched.

DONPEDRO

Speaklow,ifyouspeaklove.

[Drawingheraside]

BALTHASAR

Well,Iwouldyoudidlikeme.

MARGARET

SowouldnotI,foryourownsake;forIhavemanyill-qualities.

BALTHASAR

Whichisone?

MARGARET

Isaymyprayersaloud.

BALTHASAR

Iloveyouthebetter:thehearersmaycry,Amen.

MARGARET

Godmatchmewithagooddancer!

BALTHASAR

Amen.

MARGARET


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AndGodkeephimoutofmysightwhenthedanceisdone!Answer,clerk.

BALTHASAR

Nomorewords:theclerkisanswered.

URSULA

Iknowyouwellenough;youareSigniorAntonio.

ANTONIO

Ataword,Iamnot.

URSULA

Iknowyoubythewagglingofyourhead.

ANTONIO

Totellyoutrue,Icounterfeithim.

URSULA

Youcouldneverdohimsoill-well,unlessyouweretheveryman.Here'shisdryhandupanddown:youarehe,youarehe.

ANTONIO

Ataword,Iamnot.

URSULA

Come,come,doyouthinkIdonotknowyoubyyourexcellentwit?canvirtuehideitself?Goto,

mum,youarehe:graceswillappear,andthere'sanend.

BEATRICE

Willyounottellmewhotoldyouso?

BENEDICK

No,youshallpardonme.

BEATRICE

Norwillyounottellmewhoyouare?

BENEDICK

Notnow.

BEATRICE

ThatIwasdisdainful,andthatIhadmygoodwitoutofthe'HundredMerryTales:'--wellthiswas


21/99

SigniorBenedickthatsaidso.

BENEDICK

What'she?

BEATRICE

Iamsureyouknowhimwellenough.

BENEDICK

NotI,believeme.

BEATRICE

Didhenevermakeyoulaugh?

BENEDICK

Iprayyou,whatishe?

BEATRICE

Why,heistheprince'sjester:averydullfool;onlyhisgiftisindevisingimpossibleslanders:nonebutlibertinesdelightinhim;andthecommendationisnotinhiswit,butinhisvillany;forhebothpleasesmenandangersthem,andthentheylaughathimandbeathim.Iamsureheisinthefleet:Iwouldhehadboardedme.

BENEDICK

WhenIknowthegentleman,I'lltellhimwhatyousay.

BEATRICE

Do,do:he'llbutbreakacomparisonortwoonme;which,peradventurenotmarkedornotlaughedat,strikeshimintomelancholy;andthenthere'sapartridgewingsaved,forthefoolwilleatnosupperthatnight.

[Music]

Wemustfollowtheleaders.

BENEDICK

Ineverygoodthing.

BEATRICE

Nay,iftheyleadtoanyill,Iwillleavethematthenextturning.

[Dance.ThenexeuntallexceptDONJOHN,BORACHIO,andCLAUDIO]

DONJOHN


22/99

SuremybrotherisamorousonHeroandhathwithdrawnherfathertobreakwithhimaboutit.Theladiesfollowherandbutonevisorremains.

BORACHIO

AndthatisClaudio:Iknowhimbyhisbearing.

DONJOHN

ArenotyouSigniorBenedick?

CLAUDIO

Youknowmewell;Iamhe.

DONJOHN

Signior,youareverynearmybrotherinhislove:heisenamouredonHero;Iprayyou,dissuadehimfromher:sheisnoequalforhisbirth:youmaydothepartofanhonestmaninit.

CLAUDIO

Howknowyouhelovesher?

DONJOHN

Iheardhimswearhisaffection.

BORACHIO

SodidItoo;andhesworehewouldmarryherto-night.

DONJOHN

Come,letustothebanquet.

[ExeuntDONJOHNandBORACHIO]

CLAUDIO

ThusanswerIinthenameofBenedick,ButheartheseillnewswiththeearsofClaudio.'Tiscertainso;theprincewooesforhimself.FriendshipisconstantinallotherthingsSaveintheofficeandaffairsoflove:Therefore,allheartsinloveusetheirowntongues;

LeteveryeyenegotiateforitselfAndtrustnoagent;forbeautyisawitchAgainstwhosecharmsfaithmeltethintoblood.Thisisanaccidentofhourlyproof,WhichImistrustednot.Farewell,therefore,Hero!

[Re-enterBENEDICK]

BENEDICK


23/99

CountClaudio?

CLAUDIO

Yea,thesame.

BENEDICK

Come,willyougowithme?

CLAUDIO

Whither?

BENEDICK

Eventothenextwillow,aboutyourownbusiness,county.Whatfashionwillyouwearthegarlandof?aboutyourneck,likeanusurer'schain?orunderyourarm,likealieutenant'sscarf?Youmustwearitoneway,fortheprincehathgotyourHero.

CLAUDIO

Iwishhimjoyofher.

BENEDICK

Why,that'sspokenlikeanhonestdrovier:sotheysellbullocks.Butdidyouthinktheprincewouldhaveservedyouthus?

CLAUDIO

Iprayyou,leaveme.

BENEDICK

Ho!nowyoustrikeliketheblindman:'twastheboythatstoleyourmeat,andyou'llbeatthepost.

CLAUDIO

Ifitwillnotbe,I'llleaveyou.

[Exit]

BENEDICK

Alas,poorhurtfowl!nowwillhecreepintosedges.

ButthatmyLadyBeatriceshouldknowme,andnotknowme!Theprince'sfool!Ha?ItmaybeIgounderthattitlebecauseIammerry.Yea,butsoIamapttodomyselfwrong;Iamnotsoreputed:itisthebase,thoughbitter,dispositionofBeatricethatputstheworldintoherpersonandsogivesmeout.Well,I'llberevengedasImay.

[Re-enterDONPEDRO]


24/99

DONPEDRO

Now,signior,where'sthecount?didyouseehim?

BENEDICK

Troth,mylord,IhaveplayedthepartofLadyFame.Ifoundhimhereasmelancholyasalodgeinawarren:Itoldhim,andIthinkItoldhimtrue,thatyourgracehadgotthegoodwillofthisyounglady;andIofferedhimmycompanytoawillow-tree,eithertomakehimagarland,asbeingforsaken,ortobindhimuparod,asbeingworthytobewhipped.

DONPEDRO

Tobewhipped!What'shisfault?

BENEDICK

Theflattransgressionofaschoolboy,who,beingoverjoyedwithfindingabirds'nest,showsithiscompanion,andhestealsit.

DONPEDRO

Wiltthoumakeatrustatransgression?Thetransgressionisinthestealer.

BENEDICK

Yetithadnotbeenamisstherodhadbeenmade,andthegarlandtoo;forthegarlandhemighthavewornhimself,andtherodhemighthavebestowedonyou,who,asItakeit,havestolenhisbirds'nest.

DONPEDRO

Iwillbutteachthemtosing,andrestorethemtotheowner.

BENEDICK

Iftheirsingingansweryoursaying,bymyfaith,yousayhonestly.

DONPEDRO

TheLadyBeatricehathaquarreltoyou:thegentlemanthatdancedwithhertoldhersheismuch

wrongedbyyou.

BENEDICK

O,shemisusedmepasttheenduranceofablock!anoakbutwithonegreenleafonitwouldhaveansweredher;myveryvisorbegantoassumelifeandscoldwithher.Shetoldme,notthinkingIhadbeenmyself,thatIwastheprince'sjester,thatIwasdullerthanagreatthaw;huddlingjestuponjest


25/99

withsuchimpossibleconveyanceuponmethatIstoodlikeamanatamark,withawholearmyshootingatme.Shespeaksponiards,andeverywordstabs:ifherbreathwereasterribleasherterminations,therewerenolivingnearher;shewouldinfecttothenorthstar.Iwouldnotmarryher,thoughshewereendowedwithallthatAdambadlefthimbeforehetransgressed:shewouldhavemadeHerculeshaveturnedspit,yea,andhaveclefthisclubtomakethefiretoo.Come,talknotofher:youshallfindhertheinfernalAteingoodapparel.IwouldtoGodsomescholarwouldconjureher;forcertainly,whilesheishere,amanmayliveasquietinhellasinasanctuary;andpeoplesinuponpurpose,becausetheywouldgothither;so,indeed,alldisquiet,horrorandperturbationfollowsher.

DONPEDRO

Look,hereshecomes.

[EnterCLAUDIO,BEATRICE,HERO,andLEONATO]

BENEDICK

Willyourgracecommandmeanyservicetotheworld'send?IwillgoontheslightesterrandnowtotheAntipodesthatyoucandevisetosendmeon;Iwillfetchyouatooth-pickernowfromthefurthestinchofAsia,bringyouthelengthofPresterJohn'sfoot,fetchyouahairoffthegreatCham'sbeard,doyouanyembassagetothePigmies,ratherthanholdthreewords'conferencewiththisharpy.Youhavenoemploymentforme?

DONPEDRO

None,buttodesireyourgoodcompany.

BENEDICK

OGod,sir,here'sadishIlovenot:IcannotenduremyLadyTongue.

[Exit]

DONPEDRO

Come,lady,come;youhavelosttheheartofSigniorBenedick.

BEATRICE

Indeed,mylord,helentitmeawhile;andIgavehimuseforit,adoubleheartforhissingleone:marry,oncebeforehewonitofmewithfalsedice,thereforeyourgracemaywellsayIhavelostit.

DONPEDRO


26/99

Youhaveputhimdown,lady,youhaveputhimdown.

BEATRICE

SoIwouldnotheshoulddome,mylord,lestIshouldprovethemotheroffools.IhavebroughtCountClaudio,whomyousentmetoseek.

DONPEDRO

Why,hownow,count!whereforeareyousad?

CLAUDIO

Notsad,mylord.

DONPEDRO

Howthen?sick?

CLAUDIO

Neither,mylord.

BEATRICE

Thecountisneithersad,norsick,normerry,norwell;butcivilcount,civilasanorange,andsomethingofthatjealouscomplexion.

DONPEDRO

I'faith,lady,Ithinkyourblazontobetrue;though,I'llbesworn,ifhebeso,hisconceitisfalse.Here,Claudio,Ihavewooedinthyname,andfairHeroiswon:Ihavebrokewithherfather,andhisgoodwillobtained:namethedayof

marriage,andGodgivetheejoy!

LEONATO

Count,takeofmemydaughter,andwithhermyfortunes:hisgracehathmadethematch,andangracesayAmentoit.

BEATRICE

Speak,count,'tisyourcue.

CLAUDIO

Silenceistheperfectestheraldofjoy:Iwerebutlittlehappy,ifIcouldsayhowmuch.Lady,asyouaremine,Iamyours:Igiveawaymyselfforyouanddoteupontheexchange.

BEATRICE

Speak,cousin;or,ifyoucannot,stophismouthwithakiss,andletnothimspeakneither.


27/99

DONPEDRO

Infaith,lady,youhaveamerryheart.

BEATRICE

Yea,mylord;Ithankit,poorfool,itkeepsonthewindysideofcare.Mycousintellshiminhisearthatheisinherheart.

CLAUDIO

Andsoshedoth,cousin.

BEATRICE

GoodLord,foralliance!ThusgoeseveryonetotheworldbutI,andIamsunburnt;Imaysitinacornerandcryheigh-hoforahusband!

DONPEDRO

LadyBeatrice,Iwillgetyouone.

BEATRICE

Iwouldratherhaveoneofyourfather'sgetting.Hathyourgracene'erabrotherlikeyou?Yourfathergotexcellenthusbands,ifamaidcouldcomebythem.

DONPEDRO

Willyouhaveme,lady?

BEATRICE

No,mylord,unlessImighthaveanotherforworking-days:yourgraceistoocostlytoweareveryday.But,Ibeseechyourgrace,pardonme:Iwasborntospeakallmirthandnomatter.

DONPEDRO

Yoursilencemostoffendsme,andtobemerrybestbecomesyou;for,outofquestion,youwereborninamerryhour.

BEATRICE

No,sure,mylord,mymothercried;butthentherewasastardanced,andunderthatwasIborn.Cousins,Godgiveyoujoy!

LEONATO

Niece,willyoulooktothosethingsItoldyouof?

BEATRICE


28/99

Icryyoumercy,uncle.Byyourgrace'spardon.

[Exit]

DONPEDRO

Bymytroth,apleasant-spiritedlady.

LEONATO

There'slittleofthemelancholyelementinher,mylord:sheisneversadbutwhenshesleeps,andnoteversadthen;forIhaveheardmydaughtersay,shehathoftendreamedofunhappinessandwakedherselfwithlaughing.

DONPEDRO

Shecannotenduretoheartellofahusband.

LEONATO

O,bynomeans:shemocksallherwooersoutofsuit.

DONPEDRO

ShewereanexcellentwifeforBenedict.

LEONATO

OLord,mylord,iftheywerebutaweekmarried,theywouldtalkthemselvesmad.

DONPEDRO

CountyClaudio,whenmeanyoutogotochurch?

CLAUDIO

To-morrow,mylord:timegoesoncrutchestilllovehaveallhisrites.

LEONATO

NottillMonday,mydearson,whichishenceajustseven-night;andatimetoobrief,too,tohaveallthingsanswermymind.

DONPEDRO

Come,youshaketheheadatsolongabreathing:but,Iwarrantthee,Claudio,thetimeshallnotgodullybyus.IwillintheinterimundertakeoneofHercules'labours;whichis,tobringSigniorBenedickandtheLadyBeatriceintoamountainofaffectiontheonewiththeother.Iwouldfainhaveitamatch,andIdoubtnotbuttofashionit,ifyouthreewillbutministersuchassistanceasIshallgiveyoudirection.


29/99

LEONATO

Mylord,Iamforyou,thoughitcostmetennights'watchings.

CLAUDIO

AndI,mylord.

DONPEDRO

Andyoutoo,gentleHero?

HERO

Iwilldoanymodestoffice,mylord,tohelpmycousintoagoodhusband.

DONPEDRO

AndBenedickisnottheunhopefullesthusbandthatIknow.ThusfarcanIpraisehim;heisofanoblestrain,ofapprovedvalourandconfirmedhonesty.Iwillteachyouhowtohumouryourcousin,thatshe

shallfallinlovewithBenedick;andI,withyourtwohelps,willsopractiseonBenedickthat,indespiteofhisquickwitandhisqueasystomach,heshallfallinlovewithBeatrice.Ifwecandothis,Cupidisnolongeranarcher:hisgloryshallbeours,forwearetheonlylove-gods.Goinwithme,andIwilltellyoumydrift.

[Exeunt]

--------------------------------------

"scene"2

Scene2

[Thesame.]

[EnterDONJOHNandBORACHIO]

DONJOHN

Itisso;theCountClaudioshallmarrythedaughterofLeonato.

BORACHIO

Yea,mylord;butIcancrossit.

DONJOHN

Anybar,anycross,anyimpedimentwillbemedicinabletome:Iamsickindispleasuretohim,andwhatsoevercomesathwarthisaffectionrangesevenlywithmine.Howcanstthoucrossthismarriage?


30/99

BORACHIO

Nothonestly,mylord;butsocovertlythatnodishonestyshallappearinme.

DONJOHN

Showmebrieflyhow.

BORACHIO

IthinkItoldyourlordshipayearsince,howmuchIaminthefavourofMargaret,thewaitinggentlewomantoHero.

DONJOHN

Iremember.

BORACHIO

Ican,atanyunseasonableinstantofthenight,appointhertolookoutatherlady'schamberwindow.

DONJOHN

Whatlifeisinthat,tobethedeathofthismarriage?

BORACHIO

Thepoisonofthatliesinyoutotemper.Goyoutotheprinceyourbrother;sparenottotellhimthathehathwrongedhishonourinmarryingtherenownedClaudio--whoseestimationdoyoumightilyholdup--toacontaminatedstale,suchaoneasHero.

DONJOHN

WhatproofshallImakeofthat?

BORACHIO

Proofenoughtomisusetheprince,tovexClaudio,toundoHeroandkillLeonato.Lookyouforanyotherissue?

DONJOHN

Onlytodespitethem,Iwillendeavouranything.

BORACHIO

Go,then;findmeameethourtodrawDonPedroandtheCountClaudioalone:tellthemthatyouknowthatHerolovesme;intendakindofzealbothtotheprinceandClaudio,as,--inloveofyourbrother'shonour,whohathmadethismatch,andhisfriend'sreputation,whoisthusliketobecozenedwiththesemblanceofamaid,--thatyouhavediscoveredthus.Theywillscarcelybelievethiswithouttrial:


31/99

offertheminstances;whichshallbearnolesslikelihoodthantoseemeatherchamber-window,hearmecallMargaretHero,hearMargarettermmeClaudio;andbringthemtoseethistheverynightbeforetheintendedwedding,--forinthemeantimeIwillsofashionthematterthatHeroshallbeabsent,--andthereshallappearsuchseemingtruthofHero'sdisloyaltythatjealousyshallbecalledassuranceandallthepreparationoverthrown.

DONJOHN

Growthistowhatadverseissueitcan,Iwillputitinpractise.Becunningintheworkingthis,andthyfeeisathousandducats.

BORACHIO

Beyouconstantintheaccusation,andmycunningshallnotshameme.

DONJOHN

Iwillpresentlygolearntheirdayofmarriage.

[Exeunt]

--------------------------------------

"scene"3

Scene3

[LEONATO'Sorchard.]

[EnterBENEDICK]

BENEDICK

Boy!

[EnterBoy]

Boy

Signior?

BENEDICK

Inmychamber-windowliesabook:bringithither

tomeintheorchard.

Boy

Iamherealready,sir.

BENEDICK

Iknowthat;butIwouldhavetheehence,andhereagain.


32/99

[ExitBoy]

Idomuchwonderthatoneman,seeinghowmuchanothermanisafoolwhenhededicateshisbehaviorstolove,will,afterhehathlaughedatsuchshallowfolliesinothers,becometheargumentofhisownscornbyfailinginlove:andsuchamanisClaudio.Ihaveknownwhentherewasnomusicwithhimbutthedrumandthefife;andnowhadheratherhearthetabourandthepipe:Ihaveknownwhenhewouldhavewalkedtenmilea-foottoseeagoodarmour;andnowwillhelietennightsawake,carvingthefashionofanewdoublet.Hewaswonttospeakplainandtothepurpose,likeanhonestmanandasoldier;andnowisheturnedorthography;hiswordsareaveryfantasticalbanquet,justsomanystrangedishes.MayIbesoconvertedandseewiththeseeyes?Icannottell;Ithinknot:Iwillnotbesworn,butlovemaytransformmetoanoyster;butI'lltakemyoathonit,tillhehavemadeanoysterofme,heshallnevermakemesuchafool.Onewomanisfair,yetIamwell;anotheriswise,yetIamwell;anothervirtuous,yetIamwell;buttillallgracesbeinonewoman,onewomanshallnotcomein

mygrace.Richsheshallbe,that'scertain;wise,orI'llnone;virtuous,orI'llnevercheapenher;fair,orI'llneverlookonher;mild,orcomenotnearme;noble,ornotIforanangel;ofgooddiscourse,anexcellentmusician,andherhairshallbeofwhatcolouritpleaseGod.Ha!theprinceandMonsieurLove!Iwillhidemeinthearbour.

[Withdraws]

[EnterDONPEDRO,CLAUDIO,andLEONATO]

DONPEDRO

Come,shallwehearthismusic?

CLAUDIO

Yea,mygoodlord.Howstilltheeveningis,Ashush'donpurposetograceharmony!

DONPEDRO

SeeyouwhereBenedickhathhidhimself?

CLAUDIO

O,verywell,mylord:themusicended,We'llfitthekid-foxwithapennyworth.

[EnterBALTHASARwithMusic]

DONPEDRO

Come,Balthasar,we'llhearthatsongagain.


33/99

BALTHASAR

O,goodmylord,taxnotsobadavoiceToslandermusicanymorethanonce.

DONPEDRO

ItisthewitnessstillofexcellencyToputastrangefaceonhisownperfection.Ipraythee,sing,andletmewoonomore.

BALTHASAR

Becauseyoutalkofwooing,Iwillsing;SincemanyawooerdothcommencehissuitToherhethinksnotworthy,yethewooes,Yetwillheswearheloves.

DONPEDRO

Now,praythee,come;Or,ifthouwiltholdlongerargument,Doitinnotes.

BALTHASAR

Notethisbeforemynotes;There'snotanoteofminethat'sworththenoting.

DONPEDRO

Why,theseareverycrotchetsthathespeaks;Note,notes,forsooth,andnothing.

[Air]

BENEDICK

Now,divineair!nowishissoulravished!Isitnotstrangethatsheeps'gutsshouldhalesoulsoutofmen'sbodies?Well,ahornformymoney,whenall'sdone.

[TheSong]

BALTHASAR

Sighnomore,ladies,sighnomore,Menweredeceiversever,Onefootinseaandoneonshore,

Toonethingconstantnever:Thensighnotso,butletthemgo,Andbeyoublitheandbonny,ConvertingallyoursoundsofwoeIntoHeynonny,nonny.Singnomoreditties,singnomoe,Ofdumpssodullandheavy;Thefraudofmenwaseverso,Sincesummerfirstwasleafy:Thensighnotso,&c.


34/99

DONPEDRO

Bymytroth,agoodsong.

BALTHASAR

Andanillsinger,mylord.

DONPEDRO

Ha,no,no,faith;thousingestwellenoughforashift.

BENEDICK

Anhehadbeenadogthatshouldhavehowledthus,theywouldhavehangedhim:andIprayGodhisbadvoicebodenomischief.Ihadasliefhaveheardthenight-raven,comewhatplaguecouldhavecomeafterit.

DONPEDRO

Yea,marry,dostthouhear,Balthasar?Ipraythee,

getussomeexcellentmusic;forto-morrownightwewouldhaveitattheLadyHero'schamber-window.

BALTHASAR

ThebestIcan,mylord.

DONPEDRO

Doso:farewell.

[ExitBALTHASAR]

Comehither,Leonato.Whatwasityoutoldmeofto-day,thatyournieceBeatricewasinlovewithSigniorBenedick?

CLAUDIO

O,ay:stalkon.stalkon;thefowlsits.Ididneverthinkthatladywouldhavelovedanyman.

LEONATO

No,norIneither;butmostwonderfulthatsheshouldsodoteonSigniorBenedick,whomshehathin

alloutwardbehaviorsseemedevertoabhor.

BENEDICK

Is'tpossible?Sitsthewindinthatcorner?

LEONATO

Bymytroth,mylord,Icannottellwhattothinkofitbutthatsheloveshimwithanenraged


35/99

affection:itispasttheinfiniteofthought.

DONPEDRO

Maybeshedothbutcounterfeit.

CLAUDIO

Faith,likeenough.

LEONATO

OGod,counterfeit!Therewasnevercounterfeitofpassioncamesonearthelifeofpassionasshediscoversit.

DONPEDRO

Why,whateffectsofpassionshowsshe?

CLAUDIO

Baitthehookwell;thisfishwillbite.

LEONATO

Whateffects,mylord?Shewillsityou,youheardmydaughtertellyouhow.

CLAUDIO

Shedid,indeed.

DONPEDRO

How,how,prayyou?Youamazeme:IwouldhaveIthoughtherspirithadbeeninvincibleagainstall

assaultsofaffection.

LEONATO

Iwouldhaveswornithad,mylord;especiallyagainstBenedick.

BENEDICK

Ishouldthinkthisagull,butthatthewhite-beardedfellowspeaksit:knaverycannot,sure,hidehimselfinsuchreverence.

CLAUDIO

Hehathta'entheinfection:holditup.

DONPEDRO

HathshemadeheraffectionknowntoBenedick?

LEONATO


36/99

No;andswearssheneverwill:that'shertorment.

CLAUDIO

'Tistrue,indeed;soyourdaughtersays:'ShallI,'saysshe,'thathavesooftencounteredhimwithscorn,writetohimthatIlovehim?'

LEONATO

Thissaysshenowwhensheisbeginningtowritetohim;forshe'llbeuptwentytimesanight,andtherewillshesitinhersmocktillshehavewritasheetofpaper:mydaughtertellsusall.

CLAUDIO

Nowyoutalkofasheetofpaper,Irememberaprettyjestyourdaughtertoldusof.

LEONATO

O,whenshehadwrititandwasreadingitover,shefoundBenedickandBeatricebetweenthesheet?

CLAUDIO

That.

LEONATO

O,shetoretheletterintoathousandhalfpence;railedatherself,thatsheshouldbesoimmodesttowritetoonethatsheknewwouldflouther;'Imeasurehim,'saysshe,'bymyownspirit;forIshouldflouthim,ifhewrittome;yea,thoughIlovehim,Ishould.'

CLAUDIO

Thendownuponherkneesshefalls,weeps,sobs,beatsherheart,tearsherhair,prays,curses;'OsweetBenedick!Godgivemepatience!'

LEONATO

Shedothindeed;mydaughtersaysso:andtheecstasyhathsomuchoverborneherthatmydaughterissometimeafearedshewilldoadesperateoutragetoherself:itisverytrue.

DONPEDRO

ItweregoodthatBenedickknewofitbysomeother,ifshewillnotdiscoverit.

CLAUDIO

Towhatend?Hewouldmakebutasportofitandtormentthepoorladyworse.


37/99

DONPEDRO

Anheshould,itwereanalmstohanghim.She'sanexcellentsweetlady;and,outofallsuspicion,sheisvirtuous.

CLAUDIO

Andsheisexceedingwise.

DONPEDRO

IneverythingbutinlovingBenedick.

LEONATO

O,mylord,wisdomandbloodcombatinginsotenderabody,wehavetenproofstoonethatbloodhaththevictory.Iamsorryforher,asIhavejustcause,beingheruncleandherguardian.

DONPEDRO

Iwouldshehadbestowedthisdotageonme:Iwouldhavedaffedallotherrespectsandmadeherhalfmyself.Iprayyou,tellBenedickofit,andhearwhata'willsay.

LEONATO

Wereitgood,thinkyou?

CLAUDIO

Herothinkssurelyshewilldie;forshesaysshewilldie,ifhelovehernot,andshewilldie,ere

shemakeherloveknown,andshewilldie,ifhewooher,ratherthanshewillbateonebreathofheraccustomedcrossness.

DONPEDRO

Shedothwell:ifsheshouldmaketenderofherlove,'tisverypossiblehe'llscornit;fortheman,asyouknowall,hathacontemptiblespirit.

CLAUDIO

Heisaveryproperman.

DONPEDRO

Hehathindeedagoodoutwardhappiness.

CLAUDIO

BeforeGod!and,inmymind,verywise.

DONPEDRO


38/99

Hedothindeedshowsomesparksthatarelikewit.

CLAUDIO

AndItakehimtobevaliant.

DONPEDRO

AsHector,Iassureyou:andinthemanagingofquarrelsyoumaysayheiswise;foreitherheavoidsthemwithgreatdiscretion,orundertakesthemwithamostChristian-likefear.

LEONATO

IfhedofearGod,a'mustnecessarilykeeppeace:ifhebreakthepeace,heoughttoenterintoaquarrelwithfearandtrembling.

DONPEDRO

Andsowillhedo;forthemandothfearGod,howsoeveritseemsnotinhimbysomelargejests

hewillmake.WellIamsorryforyourniece.ShallwegoseekBenedick,andtellhimofherlove?

CLAUDIO

Nevertellhim,mylord:letherwearitoutwithgoodcounsel.

LEONATO

Nay,that'simpossible:shemaywearherheartoutfirst.

DONPEDRO

Well,wewillhearfurtherofitbyyourdaughter:letitcoolthewhile.IloveBenedickwell;andIcouldwishhewouldmodestlyexaminehimself,toseehowmuchheisunworthysogoodalady.

LEONATO

Mylord,willyouwalk?dinnerisready.

CLAUDIO

Ifhedonotdoteonheruponthis,Iwillnever

trustmyexpectation.

DONPEDRO

Lettherebethesamenetspreadforher;andthatmustyourdaughterandhergentlewomencarry.Thesportwillbe,whentheyholdoneanopinionofanother'sdotage,andnosuchmatter:that'sthescenethatIwouldsee,whichwillbemerelyadumb-show.Letussendhertocallhimintodinner.


39/99

[ExeuntDONPEDRO,CLAUDIO,andLEONATO]

BENEDICK

[Comingforward]Thiscanbenotrick:theconferencewassadlyborne.TheyhavethetruthofthisfromHero.Theyseemtopitythelady:itseemsheraffectionshavetheirfullbent.Loveme!why,itmustberequited.IhearhowIamcensured:theysayIwillbearmyselfproudly,ifIperceivethelovecomefromher;theysaytoothatshewillratherdiethangiveanysignofaffection.Ididneverthinktomarry:Imustnotseemproud:happyaretheythatheartheirdetractionsandcanputthemtomending.Theysaytheladyisfair;'tisatruth,Icanbearthemwitness;andvirtuous;'tisso,Icannotreproveit;andwise,butforlovingme;bymytroth,itisnoadditiontoherwit,nornogreatargumentofherfolly,forIwillbehorriblyinlovewithher.Imaychancehavesomeoddquirksandremnantsofwitbrokenonme,becauseIhaverailedsolongagainstmarriage:but

dothnottheappetitealter?amanlovesthemeatinhisyouththathecannotendureinhisage.Shallquipsandsentencesandthesepaperbulletsofthebrainaweamanfromthecareerofhishumour?No,theworldmustbepeopled.WhenIsaidIwoulddieabachelor,IdidnotthinkIshouldlivetillIweremarried.HerecomesBeatrice.Bythisday!she'safairlady:Idospysomemarksofloveinher.

[EnterBEATRICE]

BEATRICE

AgainstmywillIamsenttobidyoucomeintodinner.

BENEDICK

FairBeatrice,Ithankyouforyourpains.

BEATRICE

Itooknomorepainsforthosethanksthanyoutakepainstothankme:ifithadbeenpainful,Iwouldnothavecome.

BENEDICK

Youtakepleasuretheninthemessage?

BEATRICE

Yea,justsomuchasyoumaytakeuponaknife'spointandchokeadawwithal.Youhavenostomach,signior:fareyouwell.


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[Exit]

BENEDICK

Ha!'AgainstmywillIamsenttobidyoucomeintodinner;'there'sadoublemeaninginthat'Itooknomorepainsforthosethanksthanyoutookpainstothankme.'that'sasmuchastosay,AnypainsthatItakeforyouisaseasyasthanks.IfIdonottakepityofher,Iamavillain;ifIdonotloveher,IamaJew.Iwillgogetherpicture.

[Exit]

--------------------------------------

Act3

"scene"1

Scene1

[LEONATO'Sgarden.]

[EnterHERO,MARGARET,andURSULA]

HERO

GoodMargaret,runtheetotheparlor;ThereshaltthoufindmycousinBeatriceProposingwiththeprinceandClaudio:Whisperherearandtellher,IandUrsulaWalkintheorchardandourwholediscourseIsallofher;saythatthouoverheard'stus;Andbidherstealintothepleachedbower,Wherehoneysuckles,ripen'dbythesun,Forbidthesuntoenter,likefavourites,

Madeproudbyprinces,thatadvancetheirprideAgainstthatpowerthatbredit:therewillshehideher,Tolistenourpurpose.Thisisthyoffice;Beartheewellinitandleaveusalone.

MARGARET

I'llmakehercome,Iwarrantyou,presently.

[Exit]

HERO

Now,Ursula,whenBeatricedothcome,Aswedotracethisalleyupanddown,OurtalkmustonlybeofBenedick.WhenIdonamehim,letitbethypartTopraisehimmorethanevermandidmerit:MytalktotheemustbehowBenedickIssickinlovewithBeatrice.OfthismatterIslittleCupid'scraftyarrowmade,Thatonlywoundsbyhearsay.


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[EnterBEATRICE,behind]

Nowbegin;ForlookwhereBeatrice,likealapwing,runsClosebytheground,tohearourconference.

URSULA

Thepleasant'stanglingistoseethefishCutwithhergoldenoarsthesilverstream,Andgreedilydevourthetreacherousbait:SoangleweforBeatrice;whoevennowIscouchedinthewoodbinecoverture.Fearyounotmypartofthedialogue.

HERO

Thengowenearher,thatherearlosenothingOfthefalsesweetbaitthatwelayforit.

[Approachingthebower]

No,truly,Ursula,sheistoodisdainful;Iknowherspiritsareascoyandwild

Ashaggerdsoftherock.

URSULA

ButareyousureThatBenedicklovesBeatricesoentirely?

HERO

Sosaystheprinceandmynew-trothedlord.

URSULA

Anddidtheybidyoutellherofit,madam?

HERO

Theydidentreatmetoacquaintherofit;ButIpersuadedthem,iftheylovedBenedick,Towishhimwrestlewithaffection,AndnevertoletBeatriceknowofit.

URSULA

Whydidyouso?DothnotthegentlemanDeserveasfullasfortunateabed

AseverBeatriceshallcouchupon?

HERO

Ogodoflove!IknowhedothdeserveAsmuchasmaybeyieldedtoaman:ButNatureneverframedawoman'sheartOfprouderstuffthanthatofBeatrice;Disdainandscornridesparklinginhereyes,Misprisingwhattheylookon,andherwit


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ValuesitselfsohighlythattoherAllmatterelseseemsweak:shecannotlove,Nortakenoshapenorprojectofaffection,Sheissoself-endeared.

URSULA

Sure,Ithinkso;AndthereforecertainlyitwerenotgoodSheknewhislove,lestshemakesportatit.

HERO

Why,youspeaktruth.Ineveryetsawman,Howwise,hownoble,young,howrarelyfeatured,Butshewouldspellhimbackward:iffair-faced,Shewouldswearthegentlemanshouldbehersister;Ifblack,why,Nature,drawingofanantique,Madeafoulblot;iftall,alanceill-headed;Iflow,anagateveryvilelycut;Ifspeaking,why,avaneblownwithallwinds;Ifsilent,why,ablockmovedwithnone.SoturnssheeverymanthewrongsideoutAndnevergivestotruthandvirtuethat

Whichsimplenessandmeritpurchaseth.

URSULA

Sure,sure,suchcarpingisnotcommendable.

HERO

No,nottobesooddandfromallfashionsAsBeatriceis,cannotbecommendable:Butwhodaretellherso?IfIshouldspeak,Shewouldmockmeintoair;O,shewouldlaughmeOutofmyself,pressmetodeathwithwit.

ThereforeletBenedick,likecover'dfire,Consumeawayinsighs,wasteinwardly:Itwereabetterdeaththandiewithmocks,Whichisasbadasdiewithtickling.

URSULA

Yettellherofit:hearwhatshewillsay.

HERO

No;ratherIwillgotoBenedickAndcounselhimtofightagainsthispassion.

And,truly,I'lldevisesomehonestslandersTostainmycousinwith:onedothnotknowHowmuchanillwordmayempoisonliking.

URSULA

O,donotdoyourcousinsuchawrong.Shecannotbesomuchwithouttruejudgment--HavingsoswiftandexcellentawitAssheisprizedtohave--astorefuse


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SorareagentlemanasSigniorBenedick.

HERO

HeistheonlymanofItaly.AlwaysexceptedmydearClaudio.

URSULA

Iprayyou,benotangrywithme,madam,Speakingmyfancy:SigniorBenedick,Forshape,forbearing,argumentandvalour,GoesforemostinreportthroughItaly.

HERO

Indeed,hehathanexcellentgoodname.

URSULA

Hisexcellencedidearnit,erehehadit.Whenareyoumarried,madam?

HERO

Why,everyday,to-morrow.Come,goin:I'llshowtheesomeattires,andhavethycounselWhichisthebesttofurnishmeto-morrow.

URSULA

She'slimed,Iwarrantyou:wehavecaughther,madam.

HERO

Ifitprovesso,thenlovinggoesbyhaps:SomeCupidkillswitharrows,somewithtraps.

[ExeuntHEROandURSULA]

BEATRICE

[Comingforward]

Whatfireisinmineears?Canthisbetrue?StandIcondemn'dforprideandscornsomuch?Contempt,farewell!andmaidenpride,adieu!Noglorylivesbehindthebackofsuch.And,Benedick,loveon;Iwillrequitethee,Tamingmywildhearttothylovinghand:

Ifthoudostlove,mykindnessshallincitetheeTobindourlovesupinaholyband;Forotherssaythoudostdeserve,andIBelieveitbetterthanreportingly.

[Exit]

--------------------------------------

"scene"2


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Scene2

[AroominLEONATO'Shouse]

[EnterDONPEDRO,CLAUDIO,BENEDICK,andLEONATO]

DONPEDRO

Idobutstaytillyourmarriagebeconsummate,andthengoItowardArragon.

CLAUDIO

I'llbringyouthither,mylord,ifyou'llvouchsafeme.

DONPEDRO

Nay,thatwouldbeasgreatasoilinthenewglossofyourmarriageastoshowachildhisnewcoatandforbidhimtowearit.IwillonlybeboldwithBenedickforhiscompany;for,fromthecrownofhisheadtothesoleofhisfoot,heisall

mirth:hehathtwiceorthricecutCupid'sbow-stringandthelittlehangmandarenotshootathim;hehathaheartassoundasabellandhistongueistheclapper,forwhathisheartthinkshistonguespeaks.

BENEDICK

Gallants,IamnotasIhavebeen.

LEONATO

SosayI

methinksyouaresadder.

CLAUDIO

Ihopehebeinlove.

DONPEDRO

Hanghim,truant!there'snotruedropofbloodinhim,tobetrulytouchedwithlove:ifhebesad,hewantsmoney.

BENEDICK

Ihavethetoothache.

DONPEDRO

Drawit.

BENEDICK

Hangit!


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CLAUDIO

Youmusthangitfirst,anddrawitafterwards.

DONPEDRO

What!sighforthetoothache?

LEONATO

Whereisbutahumouroraworm.

BENEDICK

Well,everyonecanmasteragriefbuthethathasit.

CLAUDIO

YetsayI,heisinlove.

DONPEDRO

Thereisnoappearanceoffancyinhim,unlessitbeafancythathehathtostrangedisguises;as,tobeaDutchmantoday,aFrenchmanto-morrow,orintheshapeoftwocountriesatonce,as,aGermanfromthewaistdownward,allslops,andaSpaniardfromthehipupward,nodoublet.Unlesshehaveafancytothisfoolery,asitappearshehath,heisnofoolforfancy,asyouwouldhaveitappearheis.

CLAUDIO

Ifhebenotinlovewithsomewoman,thereisnobelievingoldsigns:a'brusheshishato'

mornings;whatshouldthatbode?

DONPEDRO

Hathanymanseenhimatthebarber's?

CLAUDIO

No,butthebarber'smanhathbeenseenwithhim,andtheoldornamentofhischeekhathalreadystuffedtennis-balls.

LEONATO

Indeed,helooksyoungerthanhedid,bythelossofabeard.

DONPEDRO

Nay,a'rubshimselfwithcivet:canyousmellhimoutbythat?

CLAUDIO


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That'sasmuchastosay,thesweetyouth'sinlove.

DONPEDRO

Thegreatestnoteofitishismelancholy.

CLAUDIO

Andwhenwashewonttowashhisface?

DONPEDRO

Yea,ortopainthimself?forthewhich,Ihearwhattheysayofhim.

CLAUDIO

Nay,buthisjestingspirit;whichisnowcreptintoalute-stringandnowgovernedbystops.

DONPEDRO

Indeed,thattellsaheavytaleforhim:conclude,concludeheisinlove.

CLAUDIO

Nay,butIknowwholoveshim.

DONPEDRO

ThatwouldIknowtoo:Iwarrant,onethatknowshimnot.

CLAUDIO

Yes,andhisillconditions;and,indespiteofall,diesforhim.

DONPEDRO

Sheshallbeburiedwithherfaceupwards.

BENEDICK

Yetisthisnocharmforthetoothache.Oldsignior,walkasidewithme:Ihavestudiedeightorninewisewordstospeaktoyou,whichthesehobby-horsesmustnothear.

[ExeuntBENEDICKandLEONATO]

DONPEDRO

Formylife,tobreakwithhimaboutBeatrice.

CLAUDIO

'Tisevenso.HeroandMargarethavebythisplayedtheirpartswithBeatrice;andthenthetwobearswillnotbiteoneanotherwhentheymeet.


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[EnterDONJOHN]

DONJOHN

Mylordandbrother,Godsaveyou!

DONPEDRO

Goodden,brother.

DONJOHN

Ifyourleisureserved,Iwouldspeakwithyou.

DONPEDRO

Inprivate?

DONJOHN

Ifitpleaseyou:yetCountClaudiomayhear;forwhatIwouldspeakofconcernshim.

DONPEDRO

What'sthematter?

DONJOHN

[ToCLAUDIO]Meansyourlordshiptobemarriedto-morrow?

DONPEDRO

Youknowhedoes.

DONJOHN

Iknownotthat,whenheknowswhatIknow.

CLAUDIO

Iftherebeanyimpediment,Iprayyoudiscoverit.

DONJOHN

YoumaythinkIloveyounot:letthatappearhereafter,andaimbetteratmebythatInowwill

manifest.Formybrother,Ithinkheholdsyouwell,andindearnessofhearthathholptoeffectyourensuingmarriage;--surelysuitillspentandlabourillbestowed.

DONPEDRO

Why,what'sthematter?

DONJOHN


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Icamehithertotellyou;and,circumstancesshortened,forshehasbeentoolongatalkingof,theladyisdisloyal.

CLAUDIO

Who,Hero?

DONPEDRO

Evenshe;Leonato'sHero,yourHero,everyman'sHero:

CLAUDIO

Disloyal?

DONJOHN

Thewordistoogoodtopaintoutherwickedness;Icouldsayshewereworse:thinkyouofaworsetitle,andIwillfithertoit.Wondernottillfurtherwarrant:gobutwithmeto-night,youshallseeherchamber-windowentered,eventhenight

beforeherwedding-day:ifyouloveherthen,to-morrowwedher;butitwouldbetterfityourhonourtochangeyourmind.

CLAUDIO

Maythisbeso?

DONPEDRO

Iwillnotthinkit.

DONJOHN

Ifyoudarenottrustthatyousee,confessnotthatyouknow:ifyouwillfollowme,Iwillshowyouenough;andwhenyouhaveseenmoreandheardmore,proceedaccordingly.

CLAUDIO

IfIseeanythingto-nightwhyIshouldnotmarryherto-morrowinthecongregation,whereIshouldwed,therewillIshameher.

DONPEDRO

And,asIwooedfortheetoobtainher,Iwilljoinwiththeetodisgraceher.

DONJOHN

Iwilldisparagehernofarthertillyouaremywitnesses:bearitcoldlybuttillmidnight,andlettheissueshowitself.


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DONPEDRO

Odayuntowardlyturned!

CLAUDIO

Omischiefstrangelythwarting!

DONJOHN

Oplaguerightwellprevented!sowillyousaywhenyouhaveseenthesequel.

[Exeunt]

--------------------------------------

"scene"3

Scene3

[Astreet.]

[EnterDOGBERRYandVERGESwiththeWatch]

DOGBERRY

Areyougoodmenandtrue?

VERGES

Yea,orelseitwerepitybuttheyshouldsuffersalvation,bodyandsoul.

DOGBERRY

Nay,thatwereapunishmenttoogoodforthem,if

theyshouldhaveanyallegianceinthem,beingchosenfortheprince'swatch.

VERGES

Well,givethemtheircharge,neighbourDogberry.

DOGBERRY

First,whothinkyouthemostdesertlessmantobeconstable?

FirstWatchman

HughOtecake,sir,orGeorgeSeacole;fortheycanwriteandread.

DOGBERRY

Comehither,neighbourSeacole.Godhathblessedyouwithagoodname:tobeawell-favouredmanisthegiftoffortune;buttowriteandreadcomesbynature.


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SecondWatchman

Bothwhich,masterconstable,--

DOGBERRY

Youhave:Iknewitwouldbeyouranswer.Well,foryourfavour,sir,why,giveGodthanks,andmakenoboastofit;andforyourwritingandreading,letthatappearwhenthereisnoneedofsuchvanity.Youarethoughtheretobethemostsenselessandfitmanfortheconstableofthewatch;thereforebearyouthelantern.Thisisyourcharge:youshallcomprehendallvagrommen;youaretobidanymanstand,intheprince'sname.

SecondWatchman

Howifa'willnotstand?

DOGBERRY

Why,then,takenonoteofhim,butlethimgo;andpresentlycalltherestofthewatchtogetherand

thankGodyouareridofaknave.

VERGES

Ifhewillnotstandwhenheisbidden,heisnoneoftheprince'ssubjects.

DOGBERRY

True,andtheyaretomeddlewithnonebuttheprince'ssubjects.Youshallalsomakenonoiseinthestreets;for,forthewatchtobabbleandtotalkismosttolerableandnottobeendured.

Watchman

Wewillrathersleepthantalk:weknowwhatbelongstoawatch.

DOGBERRY

Why,youspeaklikeanancientandmostquietwatchman;forIcannotseehowsleepingshouldoffend:only,haveacarethatyourbillsbenotstolen.Well,youaretocallatalltheale-houses,andbidthosethataredrunkgetthemtobed.

Watchman

Howiftheywillnot?

DOGBERRY

Why,then,letthemalonetilltheyaresober:iftheymakeyounotthenthebetteranswer,youmaysaytheyarenotthemenyoutookthemfor.


51/99

Watchman

Well,sir.

DOGBERRY

Ifyoumeetathief,youmaysuspecthim,byvirtueofyouroffice,tobenotrueman;and,forsuchkindofmen,thelessyoumeddleormakewiththem,whythemoreisforyourhonesty.

Watchman

Ifweknowhimtobeathief,shallwenotlayhandsonhim?

DOGBERRY

Truly,byyouroffice,youmay;butIthinktheythattouchpitchwillbedefiled:themostpeaceablewayforyou,ifyoudotakeathief,istolethimshowhimselfwhatheisandstealoutofyourcompany.

VERGES

Youhavebeenalwayscalledamercifulman,partner.

DOGBERRY

Truly,Iwouldnothangadogbymywill,muchmoreamanwhohathanyhonestyinhim.

VERGES

Ifyouhearachildcryinthenight,youmustcalltothenurseandbidherstillit.

Watchman

Howifthenursebeasleepandwillnothearus?

DOGBERRY

Why,then,departinpeace,andletthechildwakeherwithcrying;fortheewethatwillnothearherlambwhenitbaeswillneveransweracalfwhenhebleats.

VERGES

'Tisverytrue.

DOGBERRY

Thisistheendofthecharge:--you,constable,aretopresenttheprince'sownperson:ifyoumeettheprinceinthenight,youmaystayhim.

VERGES


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Iwillowetheeananswerforthat:andnowforwardwiththytale.

BORACHIO

Standtheeclose,then,underthispent-house,foritdrizzlesrain;andIwill,likeatruedrunkard,utteralltothee.

Watchman

[Aside]Sometreason,masters:yetstandclose.

BORACHIO

ThereforeknowIhaveearnedofDonJohnathousandducats.

CONRADE

Isitpossiblethatanyvillanyshouldbesodear?

BORACHIO

Thoushouldstratheraskifitwerepossibleanyvillanyshouldbesorich;forwhenrichvillainshaveneedofpoorones,pooronesmaymakewhatpricetheywill.

CONRADE

Iwonderatit.

BORACHIO

Thatshowsthouartunconfirmed.Thouknowestthat

thefashionofadoublet,orahat,oracloak,isnothingtoaman.

CONRADE

Yes,itisapparel.

BORACHIO

Imean,thefashion.

CONRADE

Yes,thefashionisthefashion.

BORACHIO

Tush!Imayaswellsaythefool'sthefool.Butseestthounotwhatadeformedthiefthisfashionis?

Watchman


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[Aside]IknowthatDeformed;a'hasbeenavilethiefthissevenyear;a'goesupanddownlikeagentleman:Irememberhisname.

BORACHIO

Didstthounothearsomebody?

CONRADE

No;'twasthevaneonthehouse.

BORACHIO

Seestthounot,Isay,whatadeformedthiefthisfashionis?howgiddilya'turnsaboutallthehotbloodsbetweenfourteenandfive-and-thirty?sometimesfashioningthemlikePharaoh'ssoldiersinthereekypainting,sometimelikegodBel'spriestsintheoldchurch-window,sometimeliketheshavenHerculesinthesmirchedworm-eatentapestry,wherehiscodpieceseemsasmassyashisclub?

CONRADE

AllthisIsee;andIseethatthefashionwearsoutmoreapparelthantheman.Butartnotthouthyselfgiddywiththefashiontoo,thatthouhastshiftedoutofthytaleintotellingmeofthefashion?

BORACHIO

Notso,neither:butknowthatIhaveto-nightwooedMargaret,theLadyHero'sgentlewoman,bythenameofHero:sheleansmeoutathermistress'chamber-window,bidsmeathousandtimesgood

night,--Itellthistalevilely:--Ishouldfirsttelltheehowtheprince,Claudioandmymaster,plantedandplacedandpossessedbymymasterDonJohn,sawafaroffintheorchardthisamiableencounter.

CONRADE

AndthoughttheyMargaretwasHero?

BORACHIO

Twoofthemdid,theprinceandClaudio;butthedevilmymasterknewshewasMargaret;andpartly

byhisoaths,whichfirstpossessedthem,partlybythedarknight,whichdiddeceivethem,butchieflybymyvillany,whichdidconfirmanyslanderthatDonJohnhadmade,awaywentClaudioenraged;sworehewouldmeether,ashewasappointed,nextmorningatthetemple,andthere,beforethewholecongregation,shameherwithwhathesawo'ernightandsendherhomeagainwithoutahusband.

FirstWatchman


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Wechargeyou,intheprince'sname,stand!

SecondWatchman

Calluptherightmasterconstable.Wehavehererecoveredthemostdangerouspieceoflecherythateverwasknowninthecommonwealth.

FirstWatchman

AndoneDeformedisoneofthem:Iknowhim;a'wearsalock.

CONRADE

Masters,masters,--

SecondWatchman

You'llbemadebringDeformedforth,Iwarrantyou.

CONRADE

Masters,--

FirstWatchman

Neverspeak:wechargeyouletusobeyyoutogowithus.

BORACHIO

Weareliketoproveagoodlycommodity,beingtakenupofthesemen'sbills.

CONRADE

Acommodityinquestion,Iwarrantyou.Come,we'llobeyyou.

[Exeunt]

--------------------------------------

"scene"4

Scene4

[HERO'sapartment.]

[EnterHERO,MARGARET,andURSULA]

HERO

GoodUrsula,wakemycousinBeatrice,anddesirehertorise.

URSULA

Iwill,lady.


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HERO

Andbidhercomehither.

URSULA

Well.

[Exit]

MARGARET

Troth,Ithinkyourotherrabatowerebetter.

HERO

No,praythee,goodMeg,I'llwearthis.

MARGARET

Bymytroth,'snotsogood;andIwarrantyourcousinwillsayso.

HERO

Mycousin'safool,andthouartanother:I'llwearnonebutthis.

MARGARET

Ilikethenewtirewithinexcellently,ifthehairwereathoughtbrowner;andyourgown'samostrarefashion,i'faith.IsawtheDuchessofMilan'sgownthattheypraiseso.

HERO

O,thatexceeds,theysay.

MARGARET

Bymytroth,'sbutanight-gowninrespectofyours:clotho'gold,andcuts,andlacedwithsilver,setwithpearls,downsleeves,sidesleeves,andskirts,roundunderbornewithabluishtinsel:butforafine,quaint,gracefulandexcellentfashion,yoursisworthtenon't.

HERO

Godgivemejoytowearit!formyheartisexceedingheavy.

MARGARET

'Twillbeheaviersoonbytheweightofaman.

HERO

Fieuponthee!artnotashamed?


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MARGARET

Ofwhat,lady?ofspeakinghonourably?Isnotmarriagehonourableinabeggar?Isnotyourlordhonourablewithoutmarriage?Ithinkyouwouldhavemesay,'savingyourreverence,ahusband:'andbadthinkingdonotwresttruespeaking,I'lloffendnobody:isthereanyharmin'theheavierforahusband'?None,Ithink,anditbetherighthusbandandtherightwife;otherwise'tislight,andnotheavy:askmyLadyBeatriceelse;hereshecomes.

[EnterBEATRICE]

HERO

Goodmorrow,coz.

BEATRICE

Goodmorrow,sweetHero.

HERO

Whyhownow?doyouspeakinthesicktune?

BEATRICE

Iamoutofallothertune,methinks.

MARGARET

Clap'sinto'Lighto'love;'thatgoeswithoutaburden:doyousingit,andI'lldanceit.

BEATRICE

Yelighto'love,withyourheels!then,ifyourhusbandhavestablesenough,you'llseeheshalllacknobarns.

MARGARET

Oillegitimateconstruction!Iscornthatwithmyheels.

BEATRICE

'Tisalmostfiveo'clock,cousin;tistimeyouwereready.Bymytroth,Iamexceedingill:heigh-ho!

MARGARET

Forahawk,ahorse,orahusband?

BEATRICE

Fortheletterthatbeginsthemall,H.

MARGARET


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Well,andyoubenotturnedTurk,there'snomoresailingbythestar.

BEATRICE

Whatmeansthefool,trow?

MARGARET

NothingI;butGodsendeveryonetheirheart'sdesire!

HERO

Theseglovesthecountsentme;theyareanexcellentperfume.

BEATRICE

Iamstuffed,cousin;Icannotsmell.

MARGARET

Amaid,andstuffed!there'sgoodlycatchingofcold.

BEATRICE

O,Godhelpme!Godhelpme!howlonghaveyouprofessedapprehension?

MARGARET

Evensinceyouleftit.Dothnotmywitbecomemerarely?

BEATRICE

Itisnotseenenough,youshouldwearitinyour

cap.Bymytroth,Iamsick.

MARGARET

GetyousomeofthisdistilledCarduusBenedictus,andlayittoyourheart:itistheonlythingforaqualm.

HERO

Therethouprickestherwithathistle.

BEATRICE

Benedictus!whyBenedictus?youhavesomemoralinthisBenedictus.

MARGARET

Moral!no,bymytroth,Ihavenomoralmeaning;Imeant,plainholy-thistle.YoumaythinkperchancethatIthinkyouareinlove:nay,by'rlady,IamnotsuchafooltothinkwhatIlist,norIlistnottothinkwhatIcan,norindeedIcannotthink,


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ifIwouldthinkmyheartoutofthinking,thatyouareinloveorthatyouwillbeinloveorthatyoucanbeinlove.YetBenedickwassuchanother,andnowishebecomeaman:hesworehewouldnevermarry,andyetnow,indespiteofhisheart,heeatshismeatwithoutgrudging:andhowyoumaybeconvertedIknownot,butmethinksyoulookwithyoureyesasotherwomendo.

BEATRICE

Whatpaceisthisthatthytonguekeeps?

MARGARET

Notafalsegallop.

[Re-enterURSULA]

URSULA

Madam,withdraw:theprince,thecount,SigniorBenedick,DonJohn,andallthegallantsofthetown,arecometofetchyoutochurch.

HERO

Helptodressme,goodcoz,goodMeg,goodUrsula.

[Exeunt]

--------------------------------------

"scene"5

Scene5

[AnotherroominLEONATO'Shouse.]

[EnterLEONATO,withDOGBERRYandVERGES]

LEONATO

Whatwouldyouwithme,honestneighbour?

DOGBERRY

Marry,sir,Iwouldhavesomeconfidencewithyouthatdecernsyounearly.

LEONATO

Brief,Iprayyou;foryouseeitisabusytimewithme.

DOGBERRY

Marry,thisitis,sir.

VERGES


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Yes,intruthitis,sir.

LEONATO

Whatisit,mygoodfriends?

DOGBERRY

GoodmanVerges,sir,speaksalittleoffthematter:anoldman,sir,andhiswitsarenotsobluntas,Godhelp,Iwoulddesiretheywere;but,infaith,honestastheskinbetweenhisbrows.

VERGES

Yes,IthankGodIamashonestasanymanlivingthatisanoldmanandnohonesterthanI.

DOGBERRY

Comparisonsareodorous:palabras,neighbourVerges.

LEONATO

Neighbours,youaretedious.

DOGBERRY

Itpleasesyourworshiptosayso,butwearethepoorduke'sofficers;buttruly,formineownpart,ifIwereastediousasaking,Icouldfinditinmyhearttobestowitallofyourworship.

LEONATO

Allthytediousnessonme,ah?

DOGBERRY

Yea,an'twereathousandpoundmorethan'tis;forIhearasgoodexclamationonyourworshipasofanymaninthecity;andthoughIbebutapoorman,Iamgladtohearit.

VERGES

AndsoamI.

LEONATO

Iwouldfainknowwhatyouhavetosay.

VERGES

Marry,sir,ourwatchto-night,exceptingyourworship'spresence,ha'ta'enacoupleofasarrantknavesasanyinMessina.

DOGBERRY


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Agoodoldman,sir;hewillbetalking:astheysay,whentheageisin,thewitisout:Godhelpus!itisaworldtosee.Wellsaid,i'faith,neighbourVerges:well,God'sagoodman;antwomenrideofahorse,onemustridebehind.Anhonestsoul,i'faith,sir;bymytrothheis,aseverbrokebread;butGodistobeworshipped;allmenarenotalike;alas,goodneighbour!

LEONATO

Indeed,neighbour,hecomestooshortofyou.

DOGBERRY

GiftsthatGodgives.

LEONATO

Imustleaveyou.

DOGBERRY

Oneword,sir:ourwatch,sir,haveindeed

comprehendedtwoaspiciouspersons,andwewouldhavethemthismorningexaminedbeforeyourworship.

LEONATO

Taketheirexaminationyourselfandbringitme:Iamnowingreathaste,asitmayappearuntoyou.

DOGBERRY

Itshallbesuffigance.

LEONATO

Drinksomewineereyougo:fareyouwell.

[EnteraMessenger]

Messenger

Mylord,theystayforyoutogiveyourdaughtertoherhusband.

LEONATO

I'llwaituponthem:Iamready.

[ExeuntLEONATOandMessenger]

DOGBERRY

Go,goodpartner,go,getyoutoFrancisSeacole;bidhimbringhispenandinkhorntothegaol:wearenowtoexaminationthesemen.

VERGES


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Andwemustdoitwisely.

DOGBERRY

Wewillsparefornowit,Iwarrantyou;here'sthatshalldrivesomeofthemtoanon-come:onlygetthelearnedwritertosetdownourexcommunicationandmeetmeatthegaol.

[Exeunt]

--------------------------------------

Act4

"scene"1

Scene1

[Achurch.]

[EnterDONPEDRO,DONJOHN,LEONATO,FRIARFRANCIS,CLAUDIO,BENEDICK,HERO,BEATRICE,andAttendants]

LEONATO

Come,FriarFrancis,bebrief;onlytotheplainformofmarriage,andyoushallrecounttheirparticulardutiesafterwards.

FRIARFRANCIS

Youcomehither,mylord,tomarrythislady.

CLAUDIO

No.

LEONATO

Tobemarriedtoher:friar,youcometomarryher.

FRIARFRANCIS

Lady,youcomehithertobemarriedtothiscount.

HERO

Ido.

FRIARFRANCIS

Ifeitherofyouknowanyinwardimpedimentwhyyoushouldnotbeconjoined,chargeyou,onyoursouls,toutterit.

CLAUDIO

Knowyouany,Hero?


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HERO

None,mylord.

FRIARFRANCIS

Knowyouany,count?

LEONATO

Idaremakehisanswer,none.

CLAUDIO

O,whatmendaredo!whatmenmaydo!whatmendailydo,notknowingwhattheydo!

BENEDICK

Hownow!interjections?Why,then,somebeoflaughing,as,ah,ha,he!

CLAUDIO

Standtheeby,friar.Father,byyourleave:WillyouwithfreeandunconstrainedsoulGivemethismaid,yourdaughter?

LEONATO

Asfreely,son,asGoddidgiveherme.

CLAUDIO

AndwhathaveItogiveyouback,whoseworthMaycounterpoisethisrichandpreciousgift?

DONPEDRO

Nothing,unlessyourenderheragain.

CLAUDIO

Sweetprince,youlearnmenoblethankfulness.There,Leonato,takeherbackagain:Givenotthisrottenorangetoyourfriend;She'sbutthesignandsemblanceofherhonour.Beholdhowlikeamaidsheblusheshere!O,whatauthorityandshowoftruth

Cancunningsincoveritselfwithal!ComesnotthatbloodasmodestevidenceTowitnesssimplevirtue?Wouldyounotswear,Allyouthatseeher,thatshewereamaid,Bytheseexteriorshows?Butsheisnone:Sheknowstheheatofaluxuriousbed;Herblushisguiltiness,notmodesty.

LEONATO


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Whatdoyoumean,mylord?

CLAUDIO

Nottobemarried,Nottoknitmysoultoanapprovedwanton.

LEONATO

Dearmylord,ifyou,inyourownproof,Havevanquish'dtheresistanceofheryouth,Andmadedefeatofhervirginity,--

CLAUDIO

Iknowwhatyouwouldsay:ifIhaveknownher,Youwillsayshedidembracemeasahusband,Andsoextenuatethe'forehandsin:No,Leonato,Inevertemptedherwithwordtoolarge;But,asabrothertohissister,show'dBashfulsincerityandcomelylove.

HERO

Andseem'dIeverotherwisetoyou?

CLAUDIO

Outonthee!Seeming!Iwillwriteagainstit:YouseemtomeasDianinherorb,Aschasteasisthebudereitbeblown;ButyouaremoreintemperateinyourbloodThanVenus,orthosepamper'danimalsThatrageinsavagesensuality.

HERO

Ismylordwell,thathedothspeaksowide?

LEONATO

Sweetprince,whyspeaknotyou?

DONPEDRO

WhatshouldIspeak?Istanddishonour'd,thathavegoneaboutTolinkmydearfriendtoacommonstale.

LEONATO

Arethesethingsspoken,ordoIbutdream?

DONJOHN

Sir,theyarespoken,andthesethingsaretrue.

BENEDICK


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Thislooksnotlikeanuptial.

HERO

True!OGod!

CLAUDIO

Leonato,standIhere?Isthistheprince?isthistheprince'sbrother?IsthisfaceHero's?areoureyesourown?

LEONATO

Allthisisso:butwhatofthis,mylord?

CLAUDIO

Letmebutmoveonequestiontoyourdaughter;And,bythatfatherlyandkindlypowerThatyouhaveinher,bidheranswertruly.

LEONATO

Ichargetheedoso,asthouartmychild.

HERO

O,Goddefendme!howamIbeset!Whatkindofcatechisingcallyouthis?

CLAUDIO

Tomakeyouanswertrulytoyourname.

HERO

IsitnotHero?WhocanblotthatnameWithanyjustreproach?

CLAUDIO

Marry,thatcanHero;HeroitselfcanblotoutHero'svirtue.Whatmanwashetalk'dwithyouyesternightOutatyourwindowbetwixttwelveandone?Now,ifyouareamaid,answertothis.

HERO

Italk'dwithnomanatthathour,mylord.

DONPEDRO

Why,thenareyounomaiden.Leonato,Iamsorryyoumusthear:uponminehonour,Myself,mybrotherandthisgrievedcountDidseeher,hearher,atthathourlastnightTalkwitharuffianatherchamber-windowWhohathindeed,mostlikealiberalvillain,


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Confess'dthevileencounterstheyhavehadAthousandtimesinsecret.

DONJOHN

Fie,fie!theyarenottobenamed,mylord,Nottobespokeof;ThereisnotchastityenoughinlanguageWithoutoffencetoutterthem.Thus,prettylady,Iamsorryforthymuchmisgovernment.

CLAUDIO

OHero,whataHerohadstthoubeen,IfhalfthyoutwardgraceshadbeenplacedAboutthythoughtsandcounselsofthyheart!Butfaretheewell,mostfoul,mostfair!farewell,Thoupureimpietyandimpiouspurity!FortheeI'lllockupallthegatesoflove,Andonmyeyelidsshallconjecturehang,Toturnallbeautyintothoughtsofharm,Andnevershallitmorebegracious.

LEONATO

Hathnoman'sdaggerhereapointforme?

[HEROswoons]

BEATRICE

Why,hownow,cousin!whereforesinkyoudown?

DONJOHN

Come,letusgo.Thesethings,comethustolight,Smotherherspiritsup.

[ExeuntDONPEDRO,DONJOHN,andCLAUDIO]

BENEDICK

Howdoththelady?

BEATRICE

Dead,Ithink.Help,uncle!Hero!why,Hero!Uncle!SigniorBenedick!Friar!

LEONATO

OFate!takenotawaythyheavyhand.DeathisthefairestcoverforhershameThatmaybewish'dfor.

BEATRICE

Hownow,cousinHero!

FRIARFRANCIS


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Havecomfort,lady.

LEONATO

Dostthoulookup?

FRIARFRANCIS

Yea,whereforeshouldshenot?

LEONATO

Wherefore!Why,dothnoteveryearthlythingCryshameuponher?CouldsheheredenyThestorythatisprintedinherblood?Donotlive,Hero;donotopethineeyes:For,didIthinkthouwouldstnotquicklydie,ThoughtIthyspiritswerestrongerthanthyshames,Myselfwould,ontherearwardofreproaches,Strikeatthylife.GrievedI,Ihadbutone?ChidIforthatatfrugalnature'sframe?O,onetoomuchbythee!WhyhadIone?Whyeverwastthoulovelyinmyeyes?

WhyhadInotwithcharitablehandTookupabeggar'sissueatmygates,Whosmirch'dthusandmiredwithinfamy,Imighthavesaid'Nopartofitismine;Thisshamederivesitselffromunknownloins'?ButmineandmineIlovedandmineIpraisedAndminethatIwasproudon,minesomuchThatImyselfwastomyselfnotmine,Valuingofher,--why,she,O,sheisfallenIntoapitofink,thatthewideseaHathdropstoofewtowashhercleanagainAndsalttoolittlewhichmayseasongiveToherfoul-taintedflesh!

BENEDICK

Sir,sir,bepatient.Formypart,Iamsoattiredinwonder,Iknownotwhattosay.

BEATRICE

O,onmysoul,mycousinisbelied!

BENEDICK

Lady,wereyouherbedfellowlastnight?

BEATRICE

No,trulynot;although,untillastnight,Ihavethistwelvemonthbeenherbedfellow.

LEONATO

Confirm'd,confirm'd!O,thatisstrongermade


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Whichwasbeforebarr'dupwithribsofiron!Wouldthetwoprinceslie,andClaudiolie,Wholovedherso,that,speakingofherfoulness,Wash'ditwithtears?Hencefromher!letherdie.

FRIARFRANCIS

Hearmealittle;forIhaveonlybeenSilentsolongandgivenwayuntoThiscourseoffortune[]BynotingoftheladyIhavemark'dAthousandblushingapparitionsTostartintoherface,athousandinnocentshamesInangelwhitenessbeatawaythoseblushes;Andinhereyetherehathappear'dafire,ToburntheerrorsthattheseprincesholdAgainsthermaidentruth.Callmeafool;Trustnotmyreadingnormyobservations,WhichwithexperimentalsealdothwarrantThetenorofmybook;trustnotmyage,Myreverence,calling,nordivinity,IfthissweetladylienotguiltlesshereUndersomebitingerror.

LEONATO

Friar,itcannotbe.ThouseestthatallthegracethatshehathleftIsthatshewillnotaddtoherdamnationAsinofperjury;shenotdeniesit:Whyseek'stthouthentocoverwithexcuseThatwhichappearsinpropernakedness?

FRIARFRANCIS

Lady,whatmanisheyouareaccusedof?

HERO

Theyknowthatdoaccuseme;Iknownone:IfIknowmoreofanymanaliveThanthatwhichmaidenmodestydothwarrant,Letallmysinslackmercy!Omyfather,ProveyouthatanymanwithmeconversedAthoursunmeet,orthatIyesternightMaintain'dthechangeofwordswithanycreature,Refuseme,hateme,torturemetodeath!

FRIARFRANCIS

Thereissomestrangemisprisionintheprinces.

BENEDICK

Twoofthemhavetheverybentofhonour;Andiftheirwisdomsbemisledinthis,ThepractiseofitlivesinJohnthebastard,Whosespiritstoilinframeofvillanies.

LEONATO


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Iknownot.Iftheyspeakbuttruthofher,Thesehandsshalltearher;iftheywrongherhonour,Theproudestofthemshallwellhearofit.Timehathnotyetsodriedthisbloodofmine,Noragesoeatupmyinvention,Norfortunemadesuchhavocofmymeans,Normybadlifereftmesomuchoffriends,Buttheyshallfind,awakedinsuchakind,Bothstrengthoflimbandpolicyofmind,Abilityinmeansandchoiceoffriends,Toquitmeofthemthroughly.

FRIARFRANCIS

Pauseawhile,Andletmycounselswayyouinthiscase.Yourdaughterheretheprincesleftfordead:Letherawhilebesecretlykeptin,Andpublishitthatsheisdeadindeed;MaintainamourningostentationAndonyourfamily'soldmonumentHangmournfulepitaphsanddoallritesThatappertainuntoaburial.

LEONATO

Whatshallbecomeofthis?whatwillthisdo?

FRIARFRANCIS

Marry,thiswellcarriedshallonherbehalfChangeslandertoremorse;thatissomegood:ButnotforthatdreamIonthisstrangecourse,Butonthistravaillookforgreaterbirth.Shedying,asitmustsobemaintain'd,Upontheinstantthatshewasaccused,

Shallbelamented,pitiedandexcusedOfeveryhearer:foritsofallsoutThatwhatwehaveweprizenottotheworthWhilesweenjoyit,butbeinglack'dandlost,Why,thenwerackthevalue,thenwefindThevirtuethatpossessionwouldnotshowusWhilesitwasours.SowillitfarewithClaudio:Whenheshallhearshedieduponhiswords,TheideaofherlifeshallsweetlycreepIntohisstudyofimagination,AndeverylovelyorganofherlifeShallcomeapparell'dinmoreprecioushabit,Moremoving-delicateandfulloflife,

Intotheeyeandprospectofhissoul,Thanwhenshelivedindeed;thenshallhemourn,Ifeverlovehadinterestinhisliver,Andwishhehadnotsoaccusedher,No,thoughhethoughthisaccusationtrue.Letthisbeso,anddoubtnotbutsuccessWillfashiontheeventinbettershapeThanIcanlayitdowninlikelihood.Butifallaimbutthisbelevell'dfalse,Thesuppositionofthelady'sdeath


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Willquenchthewonderofherinfamy:Andifitsortnotwell,youmayconcealher,Asbestbefitsherwoundedreputation,Insomereclusiveandreligiouslife,Outofalleyes,tongues,mindsandinjuries.

BENEDICK

SigniorLeonato,letthefriaradviseyou:AndthoughyouknowmyinwardnessandloveIsverymuchuntotheprinceandClaudio,Yet,byminehonour,IwilldealinthisAssecretlyandjustlyasyoursoulShouldwithyourbody.

LEONATO

BeingthatIflowingrief,Thesmallesttwinemayleadme.

FRIARFRANCIS

'Tiswellconsented:presentlyaway;Fortostrangesoresstrangelytheystrainthecure.

Come,lady,dietolive:thiswedding-dayPerhapsisbutprolong'd:havepatienceandendure.

[ExeuntallbutBENEDICKandBEATRICE]

BENEDICK

LadyBeatrice,haveyouweptallthiswhile?

BEATRICE

Yea,andIwillweepawhilelonger.

BENEDICK

Iwillnotdesirethat.

BEATRICE

Youhavenoreason;Idoitfreely.

BENEDICK

SurelyIdobelieveyourfaircousiniswronged.

BEATRICE

Ah,howmuchmightthemandeserveofmethatwouldrighther!

BENEDICK

Isthereanywaytoshowsuchfriendship?

BEATRICE

Averyevenway,butnosuchfriend.


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BENEDICK

Mayamandoit?

BEATRICE

Itisaman'soffice,butnotyours.

BENEDICK

Idolovenothingintheworldsowellasyou:isnotthatstrange?

BEATRICE

AsstrangeasthethingIknownot.ItwereaspossibleformetosayIlovednothingsowellasyou:butbelievemenot;andyetIlienot;Iconfessnothing,norIdenynothing.Iamsorryformycousin.

BENEDICK

Bymysword,Beatrice,thoulovestme.

BEATRICE

Donotswear,andeatit.

BENEDICK

Iwillswearbyitthatyouloveme;andIwillmakehimeatitthatsaysIlovenotyou.

BEATRICE

Willyounoteatyourword?

BENEDICK

Withnosaucethatcanbedevisedtoit.IprotestIlovethee.

BEATRICE

Why,then,Godforgiveme!

BENEDICK

Whatoffence,sweetBeatrice?

BEATRICE

Youhavestayedmeinahappyhour:IwasabouttoprotestIlovedyou.

BENEDICK

Anddoitwithallthyheart.


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BEATRICE

Iloveyouwithsomuchofmyheartthatnoneislefttoprotest.

BENEDICK

Come,bidmedoanythingforthee.

BEATRICE

KillClaudio.

BENEDICK

Ha!notforthewideworld.

BEATRICE

Youkillmetodenyit.Farewell.

BENEDICK

Tarry,sweetBeatrice.

BEATRICE

Iamgone,thoughIamhere:thereisnoloveinyou:nay,Iprayyou,letmego.

BENEDICK

Beatrice,--

BEATRICE

Infaith,Iwillgo.

BENEDICK

We'llbefriendsfirst.

BEATRICE

Youdareeasierbefriendswithmethanfightwithmineenemy.

BENEDICK

IsClaudiothineenemy?

BEATRICE

Ishenotapprovedintheheightavillain,thathathslandered,scorned,dishonouredmykinswoman?OthatIwereaman!What,bearherinhanduntiltheycometotakehands;andthen,withpublicaccusation,uncoveredslander,unmitigatedrancour,--OGod,thatIwereaman!Iwouldeathisheartinthemarket-place.


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BENEDICK

Hearme,Beatrice,--

BEATRICE

Talkwithamanoutatawindow!Apropersaying!

BENEDICK

Nay,but,Beatrice,--

BEATRICE

SweetHero!Sheiswronged,sheisslandered,sheisundone.

BENEDICK

Beat--

BEATRICE

Princesandcounties!Surely,aprincelytestimony,agoodlycount,CountComfect;asweetgallant,

surely!OthatIwereamanforhissake!orthatIhadanyfriendwouldbeamanformysake!Butmanhoodismeltedintocourtesies,valourintocompliment,andmenareonlyturnedintotongue,andtrimonestoo:heisnowasvaliantasHerculesthatonlytellsalieandswearsit.Icannotbeamanwithwishing,thereforeIwilldieawomanwithgrieving.

BENEDICK

Tarry,goodBeatrice.Bythishand,Ilovethee.

BEATRICE

Useitformylovesomeotherwaythanswearingbyit.

BENEDICK

ThinkyouinyoursoultheCountClaudiohathwrongedHero?

BEATRICE

Yea,assureasIhaveathoughtorasoul.

BENEDICK

Enough,Iamengaged;Iwillchallengehim.Iwillkissyourhand,andsoIleaveyou.Bythishand,Claudioshallrendermeadearaccount.Asyouhearofme,sothinkofme.Go,comfortyourcousin:Imustsaysheisdead:andso,farewell.

[Exeunt]

--------------------------------------


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"scene"2

Scene2

[Aprison.]

[EnterDOGBERRY,VERGES,andSexton,ingowns;andtheWatch,withCONRADEandBORACHIO]

DOGBERRY

Isourwholedissemblyappeared?

VERGES

O,astoolandacushionforthesexton.

Sexton

Whichbethemalefactors?

DOGBERRY

Marry,thatamIandmypartner.

VERGES

Nay,that'scertain;wehavetheexhibitiontoexamine.

shakespeare, william - much ado about nothing

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