Sharing the Message May/June 2016 The Ozark Area Newsletter

ozarkasc.com Vol. 4

STEP

7

In many ways Step Seven represents a

turning point in the recovery process. It

forms a bridge between the inner work of

the first six steps and the final steps

which emphasizes the outer work – the

changes in our behavior. Our

shortcomings may seem to clutter our

personal road out of the past. Just

because we are working steps doesn’t

mean our life is as it should be.

We can ask God to change our attitudes.

When He deals with our pride, we will

be able to stop hiding behind our

reputation. We can allow ourselves to

become “anonymous”, each of us known

just as another person struggling with

addiction.

Sandee A.

(But Do It)

Basic Text Quote!

Yes, we are a vision of hope. We are examples of the program working. The joy

that we have in living clean is an attraction to the addict who still suffers.

(Pg. 53, 6th Edition)

Message from the

PR Subcommittee!

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opinions of the Narcotics Anonymous as a whole. The Handbook for Narcotics Anonymous states that: “The

12 Traditions of NA should serve as the basic guidelines for

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I have to say the only spotlight that's ever been on me was from a police car or helicopter, so this is for sure a new experience! HA! In all seriousness I am extremely grateful to be clean today and have been given the opportunity to be of service to the fellowship that has truly shown this addict that recovery is possible for ANY addict. You know my story before Narcotics Anonymous is a lot like many other people’s. I was born into an addicted family that was full of abuse, hate and dysfunction. My early childhood memories are seeing my mom get beat half to death, always seeing my dad screwed up on something, moving from place to place and always feeling alone. I learned how to disconnect on many levels at a very young age because nothing was ever stable or consistent in my life. I honestly couldn't tell you how many schools I went to and all the places I lived while growing up until about the age of 10, I never really connected with anyone and don't have any childhood friends. My mom finally got away from my dad when I was around 5 I think and being a single mom she did what she had to do for us to survive. Sometimes that meant working 2-3 jobs at a time so I spent a lot of time alone locked up in an apartment not allowed to answer the door or answer the phone because mom didn't want people knowing I was home alone. My social skills were terrible, I didn't know how to fit in and really had got to a point where I didn't want to because there was no point because I knew I would be moving before long anyways. I learned how to stuff my feelings in so many ways, but when I found drugs I found my in! I started smoking pot regularly when I was around 11. I liked the way it made me feel and the way it made me not feel. A few years went by, I was in the 7th grade and I got caught at school selling some pot in the bathroom. I had to go through a counseling type session and manipulated my way through that and was back in school within a couple of days. By this time my mom had remarried. We became stable and my life completely changed. I was in the same school system, was making friends, got involved in sports and I was the happiest I had ever been in my life! We ended up moving out of the school district but I kept going to the same school and life remained the same until the school found out that I was not in district anymore. I remember being so mad and thinking, “Why me?” While all this was happening, my grandpa was dying and he was my everything. When my grandpa passed away December 20, 1988, my entire life took a turn that no one saw coming. From this point forward, everything was about the getting, using and finding ways and means to get more. I saw people all around me going to prison and literally dying in front of my very eyes. I went to treatment on December 23, 1997, played the game got through the 28 days and went on about my business, 9 days later - loaded. Things got worse and got there fast. I found myself in places I had never been before. I was pissed at God and everyone around me. Everything was something or someone else’s fault, just like the rest of my life. I was at the end of the road and I didn't know what to do so I tried to get back into treatment, and it wasn't an easy road. I finally got in and got clean, really clean for the first time in many years on May 17, 1998. I moved to Joplin after getting out of treatment and that's when I went to my first Narcotics Anonymous meeting at We Do Recover. This is where my journey in recovery really begin. I did everything that was suggested. I got a sponsor, went to 90 meetings in 90 days, got the literature, started working steps, started praying, got involved in service and bottom line found freedom that I didn't even know existed. Days grew into months, months grew into years and I was in a place I had never been before in my life. Because of the gifts of recovery, I really became a responsible, productive member of society both in and out of the rooms. I was able to obtain a carrier where I was respected and I loved what I did. Because of recovery, I was able to travel all over and experience Narcotics Anonymous from the group level to the world level. Over time I slowly took back my will and my life and found myself backed in that corner that the Basic Text talks about. The disease started telling me that I didn't have a disease. I started to believe that I wasn't an addict anymore, that I was really young when I got clean and that I just needed to grow up and thank God for the program because of it I had grown up. There’s a whole lot more to it but bottom line is I stepped away from everything that got me clean. The sponsor, steps, meetings, service was no longer needed because I had already made the decision. I got loaded in January of 2010 and life stopped. From that point forward, it was all about me and everything spun out of control. The things I "never" did - I ended up doing. I quickly turned back into the liar, the thief, the angry lost person I was in 1998. I lost my career, became homeless and stopped living one day at a time and started living one bag at a time. I was more lost, lonely and empty on the inside than I had ever been before. I was suicidal, spiritually bankrupt, physically broken and hopeless. I had gotten to the point where I had exhausted every character defect and asset I had left and nothing worked. I was on the run from the law

facing two pretty serious felonies and had gotten to the point that I knew turning myself in would probably save my life. I was at the end of the road and I knew there was a different, way but was convinced that it wouldn't work for me again. I had gone too far. I was a lost cause. I remember talking to God and telling Him that I couldn't go any more, I was in tears asking why and said, “please help me.” I finally fell asleep and my new clean date is December 13, 2014. It took me about 3 weeks before I could make it out of the house but when I did I went to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting. I was ashamed and still believed that it wouldn't work for me but I just kept going. I had people hug me, tell me that they loved me, and to keep coming back. That's what I did, I kept coming back. I got a sponsor, went to 90 meetings in 90 days, started working steps, got a home group, got involved and out of myself and started talking to God again instead of at Him. It's been so humbling to experience recovery again, to realize that I am that any addict. I am so grateful for the people that I have had in my life that taught me how to live because that experience is so valuable to me today. I am fully aware of who and what I am today. I am also fully aware the I can't survive without Narcotics Anonymous, sponsorship, the steps, meetings and God. I wake up every day grateful that I am clean, that I want to live today and I am able to enjoy life again. My stories not over... Never Alone Never Again, Just another addict

Anna S. – 2 yrs. But Do It Ali D – 8 yrs. Yvonne G. – 29 yrs. Pat D. – 33 yrs. Fifth Tradition Toni H. – 18 mos. Point of Turning Marty A. – 4 yrs. Lucas Q. – 5 yrs. Althea W. – 31 yrs. Dakota P. – 1 yr. Spiritual Principles Daniel A. – 2 yrs. Karen C. – 10 yrs. Mike H. – 1 yr. We Do Recover James D. – 1 yr. Mike P. – 2 yrs. Walt R. – 2 yrs. Keith C. 2 yrs. Chrysta C. – 4 yrs. Bruce A. – 15 yrs. Gary K. – 20 yrs. Bob G. – 30 yrs. Pam M. – 31 yrs. Shelly W. – 31 yrs. Kitty G. – 32 yrs.

TOTAL CLEAN TIME IS:

297.5 years!

ARE WE THERE YET?

We don’t give up on ourselves

We don’t allow ourselves to get in our way

We give ourselves a break

We become part of “No matter what”

And no compromise

No matter what, I’ll do what it takes not to pick up

Little by little we become better

There’s nothing we can’t do together

Like birds of a feather

We flock together

We share experience, strength, and hope

We speak to a power of choice

It understands our pain and struggles

We allow it to give us strength and courage

We become happy, we have fun

We get to live love

Little by little, day by day, hour by hour

Minute by minute, we gain power

To know nothing about everything

We live simply, so others might simply live

No other way than the NA way.

Wade J.

March and April

Anniversaries

I'm an addict named Amanda and my clean date is August 15th, 2006. I was asked to share about

humility and to show my gratitude to the NA program I am willing to help - even when it's

uncomfortable.

The Basic Text defines humility as acceptance of both our assets and our liabilities. As someone

who works in the accounting field I found comfort in understanding that this meant both the

good and the not-so-good parts of me.

The seventh step "We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings," focuses the power that

humility truly holds. It has always been my favorite step. In the past it has brought me relief

from step six and the character defects that I had become painfully aware of. In fact, the step

working guide states that step seven "may be the point when we first feel a sense of compassion

for ourselves". It goes on to state that "it's deeply moving to realize for the first time that

we're truly just human and trying our best."

In my childhood, in my active addiction, and at times in recovery, I have struggled with

perfectionism and feeling unworthy. My sponsor was the first person I was able to be completely

honest with and she accepted every part of me, even the ugly parts I tried to hide from the rest

of the world. She was practicing humility with me and showing me how to apply this spiritual

principle to my life. It took a while for me to be able to practice this new spiritual principle with

myself and others. What I found when I practiced humility was peace. I no longer had to judge

myself or others for being human. Instead of criticizing myself and others I felt compassion and

understanding.

Without humility I would not have been able to find forgiveness with myself or others. Once I

was able to realize that I am human - no better or less than anyone else - I could look at some of

the things I had done that were still causing me shame and guilt. I could finally see the situation

for what it really was. This does not mean that I could excuse my behavior, it just meant that I

could see myself as an addict who was doing the best I could in active addiction. Today I know

better so I can do better. Practicing humility gave me freedom! Once I was able to do this with

myself I could finally forgive others. This was the greatest gift recovery gave me. Thank you

Narcotics Anonymous.

Ozark Area Service Committee Meeting

May 22, 2016 Subcommittees at 12 – 3p, Business meeting at 3p

Show Me Region Narcotics Anonymous Meeting July 8-10, 2016

Howard Johnson – Columbia, MO

Ozark Area Annual High on Life Picnic August 12-14, 2016

Roaring River State Park – Camp Smokey

SMRCNA 2016 August 26-28, 2016 Jefferson City, MO

For more information on these events, see the flyers in your home

group OR on our Area’s website:

www.ozarkasc.com

For everyone that contributed to this newsletter. Thank you so much for sharing your experience, strength and hope with us. Your words inspire and encourage the readers as they continue on this journey we call “Recovery!”

PR SUBCOMMITTEE

When I first entered NA I was very intimidated. It wasn't the program

or people, it was recovery that scared me. Everything I was about to

endure was new territory including committing to change in a new

way of life. Walking into an NA meeting, I was welcomed with open

arms. Though still lost and anxious, I was told to just keep coming

back, so I did.

As I listened to people share I learned every individual has their

own stories and problems, but together we all want the same thing.

And in this journey through life, knowing I wasn't alone gave me hope

in my recovery. I continue to learn so much about myself and a life I

only dreamed of. Thanks to the fellowship of the NA program,

recovery is possible.

Nicole P.

This step was the step that had the most impact on my life, my character, in my first set of steps. My

sponsor told me to pray for willingness and stop there (actually she said, and shut up). But I was

determined to do this perfectly, haha, so I prayed for the willingness and then added things like

willingness to not be greedy. Oh how funny the God of my understanding is, as situations showed up

over and over again that showed my greed. I did not like it.

The step working guide tells me that applying the spiritual principle of willingness means, very simply,

that we are willing to act differently. It does not necessarily mean that we will act differently or even

that we're capable of doing so.

In my first set of steps I really looked at honesty. Part of that honesty was not taking things that don’t

belong to me…stealing. That sounded simple enough. I know it’s wrong, it can’t be that hard. Once I

made that decision to not steal (not to be willing to not steal but to NOT steal), I was amazed at how

often I the opportunity presented itself and how often the thought of ‘nobody would know’ rolled

around in my mind. But it was this part of the step working guide that I held close to me:

‘Even if we're not consciously aware of it, even if we sleep just fine at night, the result of acting on a

defect when we have the ability not to is an impairment of our spiritual growth. If we continue being

unwilling, we'll eventually paralyze our spiritual growth.’ I was loving the spiritual growth. I could see

God working in my life. I did not want to do anything that was going to PARALYZE that growth.

Now here I am with close to 7 years clean and still criminal thinking comes to my mind first in many

instances. I tell myself that something is wrong with me, that I am not ever going to be ok. My

character is who I am. I developed ways of getting my needs met in addiction, even before using

drugs. I was an active addict for 30 years, more than half my life. I am not a bad person because of

my defects. I am a human, learning to live more spiritually. Sometimes I fail miserably, and it causes

me pain. I learn from that pain and become more willing for the next situation.

Today, I have a life I could never have imagined. It takes work to keep that. I am willing to do that

work because I want to keep what I have. More importantly I want to be the kind of person that is

loved and can love others. I want to walk with my Higher Power and I can’t do that with a paralyzed

spiritual growth. Just for today, I have willingness….

Thanks for letting me share,

my name is Kim and I am an addict.

EclipseCrossword.com

“Why Are We Here?”

11

16

12

2

24

19

29

6

20

28

30

5

8

13

17

3

25

9

1

14

21

4

26

27

10

18

23

15

7

22

All of the words in the puzzle can be found in the "Sixth Edition Basic Text"

Chapter Three pages 13 - 16

Across

2. "We are _________ _ seeking recovery." (pg 13)

5. "Any _______ of getting better disappeared." (pg 15)

8. "Although we are not ________ for our disease, we are responsible for our recovery;" (pg 15)

10. "Most of us realized that in our addiction we were __________ committing suicide..." (pg 13)

15. "We are _____ free." (pg 16)16. "Our disease can only be

arrested through ________ ." (pg 16)

17. "We were searching for an _______ when we reached out and found Narcotics Anonymous." (pg 15)

19. "We sought _______ by using again and again..." (pg 14)

21. "We find that we suffer from a disease, not a _______________ dilemma." (pg 16)

23. "Surrounded by fellow addicts, we realized that we were not _______ anymore." (pg 15)

24. "After coming to N.A. we realized we were _____ people." (pg 13)

27. "We ________ to change our playmates, playgrounds and playthings." (pg 16)

29. "This is a program for ________." (pg 16)

30. "Before coming to the Fellowship of N.A., we could not _______ our own lives." (pg 13)

Learning to use our literature helps us stay clean, the solutions are always in there.

Down degraded ourselves in our own eyes." (pg 15)

1. "We seemed to be incapable of facing _____ on its own terms." (pg 13)

3. "Many of us _______ to support our habit." (pg 13)

4. "It is a great gift to feel ________ again." (pg 16)

6. "_________ had become our way of life and self-esteem was non-existent." (pg 15)

7. "Acceptance leads to _________." (pg 16)

9. "Any form of ____________ _ was frightening and unfamiliar." (pg 14)

11. "Helplessness, emptiness and ________ became our way of life." (pg 15)

12. "The progression of the __________ was not apparent to us." (pg 14)

13. "When we lied, _______ or stole, we

14. "Often doctors didn't understand our ________." (pg 14)

18. "We _________ our surroundings and living situations for our problems." (pg 14)

20. "Regardless of what we tried, we could not ________ from our disease." (pg 14)

22. "We placed their use ahead of the ________ of our families, our wives, husbands, and our children." (pg 13)

25. "...or sought help through medicine, _______ and psychiatry." (pg 13)

26. "We were addicts and did not _______ it." (pg 14)

28. "We tried substituting one _________ for another but this only prolonged our pain." (pg 14)