8/6/2019 She's Nothin' but a Hooker by Michi Lantz

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MichiLantz|©2010

 

8/6/2019 She's Nothin' but a Hooker by Michi Lantz

http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/shes-nothin-but-a-hooker-by-michi-lantz 2/4

MichiLantz|©2010

[“She’s nothin’ but a hooker, a gathering summit of contempt” © 2010 is a story told and written by me, Michi Lantz as I experienced it.] 

HaveyoueverheardIndiaArie’ssong“Iamnotmyhair”?Well,if

youhaven’t,youshould.It’sgood,andthereisalineinthatsongthatgoes:“…Iamnotyourexpectationsnono,Iamnotmyhair,I

amnotthisskin,Iamasoulthatliveswithin…”.SowhyamI

tellingyouthis?

AcoupleofdaysagoIwitnessedtribaljudgmentinactionor,in

otherwords,fingerpointingbyagroupofpeopletowardsone

singleperson.Iwasandstillamfilledwithsorrowforwhatweare

capableofashumans.Iwasn’tthevictimorsubjectofdismay.No,I

foundmyselfsomewhereinbetweenthosewhojudgedandwas

upsetbyawoman,whodidn’tfitthenormofhowpeopleshouldbehave,actorlooklikeandasawitness,moreupsetaboutthe

collectivejudgmentofapersonunheard.Butletmestartfromthe

beginning.

InSweden,webuyalcoholinspecialstoresandIwasinsuchastore

tobuysomewine.ItwascoolinsideandToby(mysweetheart)and

Istoodbyashelfandhadourbackstotheentrancediscussingwhat

tobuy.ThestorewasfilledwithpeopleandIcouldherethemchit

chatwiththecashiersbutIdidn’tpayattentiontothewords.

SuddenlyIheardtheseshoes.Itwasshoeswithhighheels,veryhighheels.Itechoedwhenthepersonwalkedthroughthestore.

TobyandIstoppedtalkingandInoticedthatthestorewas

completelysilent.Thehighheelsweretheonlythingthatgave

awaysound.

Ilookedtowardsthedirectionsoftheshoesandthereshewas,the

womanthatwasguiltyofhavingtheshoeson.Shepassedtheislewewerestandingin,IlookedatherandIdidn’trealisewhatIsaw

atfirst.Isawawomanwithblacklonghair,madeintoaloose

hairdo.Sheworeheavymakeupwithbigearringsmadeofmetal,

lookinglikegold.Shehadablackjacketoverapinkishtighttank

top.Theshoeshadveryhighheelsandmostpeoplewouldthinkof

themasverysexualorevenporno.Sowhat?Womenwearhigh

heelshoeseveryday.Yes,butnoteverywomanwearsverythin

stockingswithnothingunderneathtogowithit.Yes,youheardme.

Shewasnakedfromherwaistanddown.Justverythinand

completelysee-throughstockingsandshehadshavedhergenitalpartforeveryonetosee.Noskirtorpantstobefoundnearher.

Andwestared.Ohboydidwestare!Everyoneinthestorestared.

Butwewerealltryingtopretendwedidn’t.Inoticedthatpeoplein

thestorehadstartedtolaughandtalk,loudandsomewhat

nervously.Thewomenwereinparticularlyloudandthemenwere

tryingtohidethattheystaredatherfromwaistdown.Wewereall

totallythrownoffguardbyherlooksandbehaviour.Itwasquite

surrealandthefirstreactionfromuswasn’tsurprisingreally.It’s

noteverydayyouseepeoplewalkaroundnakedfromthewaist

down.

“Didyouseeher?” IaskedToby,butIknewhehadbecausehewas

stillturnedtowardstheisleshehadpassed.

“Whydoesshelooklikethat?” Icontinued.Itwasn’taquestion,

moreofastatement.

8/6/2019 She's Nothin' but a Hooker by Michi Lantz

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InmysubconsciousmindIwastryingtofindalogicalreasontowhy

shewalkedaroundlikethat,somethingthatwouldmakesense.SoI

thoughtthatshewaseitherdisturbedsomehoworshewasa

hooker.Thatwouldhavemadesenseandbealogicalreasontomy

narrowlittlemind.Whyonearthwouldsheotherwisewalkaround

likethatinpublic?!Soforasecond,andthroughthisherdreactiontomoveawayfromsomethingunknown,Iparticipatedinthe

collectiveresponsetoherappearance.Butnotforlong,though.

Ifeltasubtlefeelingofunease.Shehadstoppedsomewhere

amongtheislesbecauseIcouldn’theartheshoes.Isuspectedthat

shewastryingtofindthewineshewasabouttobuy.Thestore

changeditsenergy.Peoplewhowouldn’thavetalkedtoeachother

inothercircumstancesexchangedlooksandcomments.Istoodstill

andwatchedthegatheringSummitofContempt.Iheardcomments

like"outrageous,sick,freak,prostitute,whatisshedoingherelookinglikethat?!,ohmygod,mentallyill,disgusting" .The

interestingandsadpartofitwasthatinthatmomenttherestofus

belongedtothesamegroup.Thegroup,whoknowshowto

behave,looklikeandcertainlyknowswhatnot tolooklike.Then

somethingdeeperinmetoldmetoswitchperspective.WhatdidI

thinkIknewabouther,actually?!ThetruthwasthatIdidn’tknow

anything;Ididn’tknowherstoryorherhistory.We(thegroup)only

knewwhatwesawinfrontofusandinthatmomentnobodycared

aboutherorherstory.

Shedisturbedandinterruptedusandforcedeachoneofustobein

contactwithanuglypartofourselves,thepartwe’renotsoproud

ofandtrytoignore;thelackofcompassionifsomethingdoesn’t

fitintoourownimageofthings.

Shepickedabottleofwineandgotinoneofcashierlines.People

continuedwiththescornfullaughterandwereclearlydisturbedby

thewholething.Shedidn’tutterawordandheldherheadhigh.

TobyandIwalkedoutthedoorwiththewomanrightbehindus.

Wecrossedthestreetinfrontofustogointothesupermarketto

buyfood.She,ontheotherhand,turneddirectlyleftandstartedtowalkalongthepavement/sidewalk.Driversalmostcaused

accidents,otherpedestriansstoppedandjuststared,people

startedtotalk,buzzingandgossiping.Thereactionscontinuedlikea

dominoeffect.Thenshecrossedthestreetfurtherdownandwas

headingstraightforthesame

supermarketwewere.

ThistimeTobyandIwererightbehindher.Inthissupermarket,you

reallymakeanentrance.Thecashiersarerightinfrontofyou.You

seeeverybodygoinginandeverybodyseesyouaswell.Now,imagineforonesecondthescenerywhensheentered.Lotsof

peoplegettingtheirgroceriesintobags,cashiersexchangingmoney

withcustomers,youknow…itwasabusyevening.Inasplitsecond

everythingandeveryonestopped.Theonlythingthatgaveaway

soundwasherhighheelshoes.Shepassedthecashiersandwalked

intothestore.Cashierslefttheirseats,peoplelookedafterherto

seewhereshewent.NowtheSummitofContempthadmovedinto

thesupermarket.Itmovedlikeavirus,likeadisease.Iwasfeeling

nauseousbyallthecomments,thenervouslaughterand

completelyunreservedcontemptforherappearance.

Now,someofyoumightsaythatweliveinasocietywherewe’re

notsupposedorevenallowedtowalkaroundlikethat.Trueand

wehave“agreed”thatweshouldn’t.Butmypointisthatweare

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pronetoquicklycondemnorexpelandsendpeopletobe“hanged”

forbeingdifferent,literallyorinourminds.Thehistoryofmankind

isfullofthesestories,nomatterwhatreligionyoubelongto,what

skincolouryouhave,whatpartnersyouliketoshagwith,what

opinionsyoustate,whathandicapyoumightlivewith.Thisreveals

moreaboutthejudgementalpartofus,thanitdidofhernakedbehindandwhetherornotshe’saprostituteorfreak.Shewas

certainlynotourexpectation,butshewasn’tonlyherheels,

nakedness,andshavedgenitalpartforanyonetoseeorherheavy

makeupeither.Shewasandstillisasoulthatliveswithinherbody,

lifeandcircumstances.Withinafewminutesandwithoututterone

wordshehadaffectedaround70-100people,whowouldpassthis

onbytelleveryoneelsearoundthem,mostlythroughgossipingand

contempt.Becausethatiswhatwedo,whenwefeelthrownoff

guardbysomething.Weneedtofeelthatwearenotalonehaving

allthisuncomfortablethoughtsandfeelings.

Forabriefmomentshewasn’tworthytowalkamongtherestof

us.Shewasreducedtoourassumptions.Shewasnothingbuta

hookerandafreakandshouldbepunishedforbeingone.

Thetruthwasthatshedidwhateveryoneelsedid,boughtsome

wineandstufffromthesupermarket.Shedidn’ttrytosellsexor

talkedprovocative.Hercrime,andonlycrime,wasshedidn’tlook

liketherestofus.Heractionswereexactlyliketherestwiththe

visualexceptionthatshewasnakedfromherwaistdown.

"Toprostitute"isderivedfromacompositionoftwoLatinwords:

(preposition)proand(verb)statuere.Aliteraltranslationtherefore

wouldbe:"toexpose","toplaceupfront".Incontemporaryusage,

theword"freak"iscommonlyusedtorefertoapersonwith

somethingunusualabouttheirappearanceorbehaviour.

Thiswomanwiththehighheels,shereallyplacedherselfupfront

ourjudgement(ourdarkside)anditwasveryhardtoacceptthat

shehadthenervetodothat.Ihavenocluetothereasonstowhyshedressedlikethat,ifshereallywasaprostitute,ifshefelt

ashamed,ifshewantedtoprovoke,ifshewasmentallyillor

whatever.Ididn’thavethegutstowalkuptoherandaskifshewas

botheredaboutthereactionsshegot.Iwouldliketohaveasked

herthatandhearheranswer.Ididn’tapologisetoherforbeing

prejudiced.InhindsightIwishIdid.BecauseIknowpersonallyhow

itfeelstobeexpelledforlookingdifferent.SoIcriedonmyway

homefromthesupermarket.

Yousee,Isawsomethingabouther,whenshewalkeddownthesidewalk,thatwasappealingandnotappalling,andthatwas

COURAGE .

Becauseittakesawholelotofcouragetodresslikethatandwalk

intotheworldaloneanddowhateveryoneelsetriestodo.

Survive,toliveandholdyourheaduphigh,regardlessofwhat

peoplemightthinkofyou.