silencing and intimidation of women of color at 'men against sexism' conference

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Silencing and Intimidation of Women of Color at'Men Against Sexism' Conference

Posted by Guest Blogger at Wednesday, August 14, 2013

by Emi Koyama

[Content Note: Racism, misogyny, harassment, bullying, silencing, gaslighting.]

Last week I attended the Forging Justice conference in Detroit, which was jointly sponsored byNational Organization for Men Against Sexism (NOMAS) and HAVEN, a domestic violence and sexualassault agency in Oakland County, Michigan.

I was initially confused to be invited to a conference that was also called "38th National Conference onMen & Masculinities" since my activist and professional work have always centered on women, but Iaccepted the invitation to participate in the opening plenary on intersectionality and feminism afterfinding out that HAVEN handled the bulk of programming, while NOMAS took care of the bulk offundraising. It helped that one of my friends knew Cristy Cardinal, who was HAVEN's conferenceprogramming chair. The other panelists for the opening plenary were Kristie Dotson of MichiganState University and Jessica Luther of Flyover Feminism.

I started my presentation by quoting Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarashina: "Fuck that word'intersectionality,' but, you know, be it." I felt that this quote was very apt for this panel, because"intersectionality" has become a fancy buzzword among rather privileged academic feminists andothers, eclipsing the fact that intersectionality is and has always been a lived reality of many peoplewho struggle against multiple oppressions whether or not they use or even know the term.

My presentation, which along with other highlights from the conference is now available on HAVEN'sUstream channel, focused on how the mainstream anti-trafficking discourse promotes furthersurveillance and criminalization of already marginalized communities as the primary and often onlysolution to the problem of violence and exploitation experienced by youth and adults in the sex trade.I argued how such an approach ignores realities of people who are actually in the sex trade (due toany combination of choice, circumstances, or coercion), and harm the very people they are intended tohelp. At minimum, I believe, an intersectional analysis would require us to start from theacknowledgement that the state is a problematic institution, a source of violence against women ofcolor and many others, that cannot be intrinsically relied on.

After the panel was over, Cristy from HAVEN came up to me and told me something shocking: minutesif not seconds before the panel was to begin, two white male co-chairs of NOMAS told her that thelive-streaming of the panel would be turned off for my presentation after two other panelists spoke.She also told me that the men had indicated that, depending on what I say, they were prepared to stepin and interrupt my presentation on the spot. Cristy said, "I'm sorry. I want to be transparent aboutwhat happened and accountable to you as a white feminist and a host of the conference. I wish I coulddo something different, but we didn't even have the time to have a discussion about this." Meanwhileon Twitter, people watching the live-streaming were confused as to what had just happened, becausethe streaming was abruptly terminated without any explanation.

News of what happened had spread by the next morning, and most of the women participating in the

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conference (and at least one man, the youngest and newest national council member of NOMAS) werefurious about the censorship and threat. We were told that NOMAS would hold a "listening session" tohear community voices about the incident after the evening panel by the members of NOMAS nationalcouncil. "They don't seem to think there was anything wrong with the decision," I was told by some ofthe women who spoke with the NOMAS leadership. "I don't know if you want to be there or sayanything, but let us know how we can support you."

I did go to the panel, as did seven or eight women who showed up in solidarity. The panel of NOMASnational council members went on for almost two hours, each of them congratulating how they are sograteful for such a wonderful and supportive pro-feminist men's community that holds itself andother men accountable, while the women sat there quietly waiting for our chance to actually hold themaccountable.

The last speaker was NOMAS co-founder Robert Brannon, who currently heads Pornography,Prostitution and Trafficking task group of NOMAS. During his speech about the harms of pornographyand prostitution on women and children, he angrily began ranting about me--not using my name, butclearly referring to me and my writings, which I was distributing at the conference:

I deeply regret that at this conference, printed materials have been distributed stating thatthis average entry age of fourteen is just a "myth," and also stating that pimps are notcontrolling abusers, but friends, mentors, partners, and protectors. As a social scientistwell-versed in both survey and experimental methodology, who has read empirical studies indetails, I can assure you that the early entry age of fourteen is no myth at all.

Contrary to what Brannon said, responsible social scientists understand that "good estimates are hardto find, and good data are harder yet" in areas such as this, though the average age of 12-14 (asanti-prostitution activists often claim) is almost certainly "statistically impossible." And Brannon clearlydistorted my argument when he claimed that I consider pimps "friends, mentors, partners, andprotectors": what I have actually written was that friends and others close to people who trade sex areoften targeted by the law enforcement as "pimps," leading to further isolation, which of course makeus more vulnerable to abuse and exploitation.

Worst of all, Brannon and other members of NOMAS did not bother to ask any questions at mypresentation, or approach me privately to discuss their concerns or disagreements; they just censoredmy presentation, threatened to interrupt and shut it down, and talked disparagingly about me, notwith me, as if I did not belong in the feminist conversations over issues that directly affect me and mycommunity.

After Brannon finished his talk, NOMAS national co-chair Moshe Rozdzial concluded the panel:

...No conference on issues of oppression is without bumps. Anytime you have an intersection,there is a possibility of accidents and mistakes. There have been few issues and concerns thathave been brought to our attention and we want to address those... So, um, we would like toinvite anybody who would like to communicate with us and process with us any concerns tojoin us immediately after this panel to do so. Otherwise, we'll see you at the evening programtonight.

With this, several NOMAS council members stood up and began walking toward the door, as did someof the men in the audience, but women started shouting at the panel, questioning what happened tothe "listening session." Still, NOMAS chairs continued to feign ignorance: "Um, sure, some folks havewalked out already, but if you've got some questions or discussion points, sure, I'd love to do thatnow." NOMAS panel did not even acknowledge what the issue was until Jessica Luther finally screamed,"WHY DID YOU CENSOR EMI???" despite the fact we had all waited in our seats for two hours for anopportunity to address the problem, as we had been promised.

Finally confronted by a group of women, Rozdzial gave this explanation:

So I just want to give a little history right now. We have never streamed any of our sessionsbefore, ever. All of our conferences are in-house. Everything we do is essentially under ourvetting and our approval. So we have no history of what happens to our materials that go outof our sessions, our conferences, and what that would look like in the world. We have a certainanalysis, feminist analysis you have heard today, and so we became concerned that there wasinformation that was possibly going to give very different analysis to what we believe in thatmay be harmful. [...]

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So do you want to know exactly how the situation happened? Allen [Corben] and I, asco-chairs of NOMAS, when we saw the materials that disturbed not just us, but other peoplecame to us about it, we went to Cristy who told us that Emi was concerned about having herinformation be livecast. So it was kind of like mutual place where we can, if Emi wasconcerned about being livecast, and we have concerns about it being livecast, we asked Cristyto not broadcast this.

Where do we even start? Rozdzial seems to think that he and other men of NOMAS get to define whatfeminism is, and censor women--in this instance, a survivor and a woman of color with first-handexperiences in the sex trade--because, apparently, women who disagree with NOMAS are notfeminists. He also fabricates mutuality and consent where none existed, like any rapist who isconfronted about violating another person without their consent, while blaming Cristy in the process.

Jessica, Melissa McEwan of Shakesville, and other fierce women kept pushing NOMAS leadership onand on until NOMAS co-chairs (but not Brannon) were forced to apologize for how their actions wereharmful not just to me, but to other women who still had to present at the conference knowing thatthey could be targeted the same way, as well as to women of HAVEN who had worked hard to put onthis conference without receiving the respect and deference they deserved.

After the panel, Rozdzial and Corben came over to personally apologize to me. But when I heard themsay "We are sorry about what happened; we should have thought about how it makes us look bad,"indicating that they were more concerned about damages to the credibility of their organization thanabout the pain and suffering they caused to me and other women participating in the conference, I didnot want to talk to them any more. So I asked for their business cards, and promised to get in touch ata later date.

Meanwhile, Brannon, clearly angry from all the women challenging him and his colleagues, rushedtoward the only other (as far as I know) woman of color in the room, activist Lauren Chief Elk of SaveWįyąbi Project, who had given a wonderful keynote speech in the morning. Standing extremely closeto her with his hands raised, violating her personal space, he kept telling her that she was wrong tocriticize racism within first-wave feminism and suggesting that he knew more about her people andculture than she did because he has read history books, much the same way he acted as if his "socialscience" background made him an expert about sex trade over someone who has actual livedexperiences in it.

When those of us still in the room realized Brannon's menacing behavior toward Lauren, we stepped inand had him escorted out of the room. Jessica and Melissa demanded that Brannon not be allowed toreturn to the conference, to which a national council member of NOMAS replied, "I can make thathappen."

Yet on the final day of the three-day conference, Brannon showed up at the conference, and waspromptly escorted back to his room by NOMAS members upon HAVEN's request. Cristy, sitting at theregistration table across from the main elevator, promised to keep a close eye on the elevator so thathe wouldn't be able to come to the conference again (the entire conference was held in a small area onthe basement level of the hotel).

But of course he came yet another time, after being escorted out twice by other men of NOMAS. I firstnoticed Brannon walking out of the big room that was set up for massages and other healingpractices. The room had doors at each end of the room, which allowed someone to bypass the areamonitored by Cristy and other women at the registration desk. He walked directly toward me, andbegan speaking to me, smirking, "so it looks like I caused some trouble." "CRISTY!!!" I screamed forhelp. Cristy and others rushed over, and NOMAS members once again ejected him.

As a survivor, I experience triggers frequently. I know that, most of the time, I feel scared about thesituation or people because of something that has happened in the past, and that there usually is notan actual danger to myself. So for the last two days, despite the fact I felt scared and could not stopfeeling shaky or sleep for more than two or three hours each night, I kept trying to tell myself thatnobody was going to actually harm me.

After the third time Brannon violated boundaries of women like me, Lauren, and others, however, Iwas no longer certain that my scared feelings were just feelings: women know that someone thatangry and out of control is capable of doing the unthinkable. So I decided to pack up and leave the


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conference hours before I had originally planned to do so. I had a NOMAS volunteer escort me for mysafety until the hotel shuttle came to pick me up—I've been to many conferences where my opinionswere not necessarily popular, but this was the first time I required a bodyguard.

To be honest, I never expected this conference to be that great. I have had enough unpleasantinteractions with "feminist men" in the past, especially cis white men (which NOMAS mostly, althoughnot exclusively, is), and never trusted them as a group. But I did not expect my experience at theconference to be this horrible: is this really what feminist and pro-feminist men do in the name offeminism? But once I disregarded their self-identification as feminists or pro-feminists, all the ironywas lost: they are just bunch of racist, sexist, white men.

On the other hand, I met many wonderful women who truly had my back. We recognized racism,misogyny, and manipulative, controlling, or gaslighting/crazymaking behaviors for what they were,and understood that it was not just an attack on me, or on Lauren, but an attack on all of us as well ason the entire movement. I am truly grateful for how Cristy and other members of HAVEN broughttogether so many wonderful women to present, and stood up with us.

After leaving the conference earlier than I had planned, I took Amtrak to Chicago to attend the closingceremony of Young Women's Empowerment Project (YWEP), a grass-roots peer-led organization byand for girls and young women (mostly women of color, with a substantial proportion of trans womenof color among them) in the street economies, particularly in the sex trade. The organization hadannounced its closure earlier this year after twelve years of empowering street youth, under anincreasingly hostile environment that reduced its ability to raise funds and to support youth beingtargeted by the mainstream anti-trafficking policies that rely on surveillance and criminalization.

For me, this past week has been such an emotional roller-coaster: I went through fear from beingtargeted, silenced, and menaced by white male "feminist allies" of NOMAS, excitement at findingsolidarity with other wonderful women at the conference, absolute sense of acceptance andcommunity with YWEP members and its adult allies, and deep and overwhelming sadness that set in asI reflected on the demise of a community that had been, for the past twelve years, the only family thatmany street youth ever had.

I believe that the two events I witnessed are related, not just in the sense men like Brannon supportspolicies that lead to further targeting of YWEP youth. The link is that men who view themselves asfeminists or pro-feminists but treat women in controlling, manipulative, and paternalistic ways arejust like many "anti-trafficking" activists that want to "rescue" youth in the sex trade by arresting themand institutionalizing them involuntarily. It almost seems that they want to regard the targets of their"rescue"--be it abused women or street youth or whatever--to be voiceless, so that they can speakover us; they want to infantilize us as innocent and incapacitated or brainwashed victims so that theycan ignore our autonomy.

I am home now, and Brannon and others cannot hurt me anymore. But I don't know where the YWEPyouth will go to now, and worry that they will experience more violence and exploitation in partbecause of the policies that he and other anti-prostitution activists promote. Brannon, whose patternof abusive behaviors have been documented since at least 1992, continues to serve not just as thePornography, Prostitution and Trafficking task group leader of NOMAS, but also as a co-chair ofNational Organization for Women, New York State chapter's Task Force on Trafficking, Pornographyand Prostitution.

I am beyond furious that people who claim to be allies to women and to people in the sex tradecontinue to act this way, or implicitly endorse them by passively tolerating others who act this way.Like "intersectionality," "accountability" should not be just a buzzword people utter for brownie points:indeed, fuck that word "accountability," but, you know, be it.

(Please read the list of demands to NOMAS that women who attended Forging Justice came up with,and support our effort. Please also support Young Women's Empowerment Project raise money tohelp its youth leadership move on to next chapters of their lives.)

Emi Koyama is a multi-issue social justice activist and writer synthesizing feminist, Asian, survivor,dyke, queer, sex worker, intersex, genderqueer, and crip politics, as these factors, while not acomplete descriptor of who she is, all impacted her life. She puts "emi" back in feminism at


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www.eminism.org.

Labels: Forging Justice Conference, You Don't Own Women

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85 Comments Shakesville Login!

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Melissa McEwan • 8 months agoModerator

Emi, thank you again for writing this amazing piece, and for taking the lead for ourcollective.

I am so glad that I met you.

Your presentation gave me critical new language to use when I think and write about thesex trade. It was such an important, and deeply feminist, talk, and I will never get overthat anyone who understands even the most basic tenets of feminism could believeotherwise.

133

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emi • 8 months ago" Melissa McEwan

Thank you Melissa for your support and for giving me this forum to publish thisarticle. I haven't participated in Shakesville community before, but I love howsupportive it has been and I hope to come back :-)

52

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Melissa McEwan • 8 months agoModerator " emi

You are welcome, in every sense of the phrase. :) 25

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Misty • 8 months agoModerator

Thank you for writing this and sharing it here with us. 28

•

NameChanged • 8 months ago

Thank you for writing this. I'm sorry this happened to you. 21

•

JarredH • 8 months ago

I am sorry you had to endure such a horrible and inexcusable experience. 21

Melissa McEwan • 8 months agoModerator

If anyone would like to view the accountability session referenced in Emi's post, you canwatch it here.

I regret that I don't have the time to do a transcript for the entire thing, but if anyone elsehas the time and inclination, I will be happy to host it.

The first woman to speak, who calls out their defining feminist to us and tells them theyneed to be accountable, is Jess. The second woman to speak, who calls out theirhaving made the space unsafe not just for Emi but for other presenters, is me. The thirdwoman to speak, about questioning women who give their time to present, is AmandaLevitt of Fat Body Politics. And then it was back to me for challenging them on theircontention that they have the singular feminist position on the sex trade and asking whythey wouldn't allow for dissenting opinions, even if Emi's position had been. "Whywould you not allow a different feminist viewpoint to be broadcast?" And MosheRozdzial responds, after the longest silence, and after Allen Corben feeds him theanswer, "I don't have a good answer to that." And that's just the first third of thesession.

I also want to note that all of these "sincerely apologetic" dudes had at least one mealIN THE HOTEL BAR/RESTAURANT with Bob, even after he confronted and attacked

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silencing and intimidation of women of color at 'men against sexism' conference

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