Silencing the

Negative Committee:

Tools for Self-Validation

Bonnie Faye Gibson-Brydon

We start by checking in with ourselves. What is Reflection?

Nonjudgmental Focus on Personal Internal Responses

What does it mean to be Willing,… or to Pause, Reflect and Breathe?

Our style and manner of thinking have undergone a revolution.

We see with other eyes; we hear with other ears;

and think with other thoughts than those we formerly used.

Thomas Paine (1737 -1809) author of “Common Sense” and “Rights of Man”

Don’t know that you knowunconscious consciousness

Know that you knowConscious consciousness

Know that you Don’t know conscious unconsciousness

Don’t know that you Don’t Knowunconscious unconsciousness

In the process of listening

no matter the years of experience, we can still mentally hold ourselves back from believing in our own strengths.

Or we can remember tools that help to

Silence the Negative Committee

LISTEN TO YOUR THOUGHTS

What is the worst slam you have said to yourself?

How does this make you feel?

“Unconscious” (1796)

The term was coined by the 18th century German romantic philosopher Friedrich Schelling.

Freud popularized the theory in US. (1930)

Unconscious memory

does not think

but does

Respond to thoughts

(my negative thoughts and others)!

Where are WE in our own process?

Quantum Physics adds:

What we see before us is what we hold true

within us.

ONE expectation THAT DOES NOT WORK! I should have taken the workshop? I should have spoken louder…. I should have . .

“Stop “should-ing ” all over yourself”(*workshop rule*)

Presenting the “POOP” Award.

To Should? or To Accept?

“The most effective communication of occurs when the message is sent in the “language” most valued by the receiver.”

Gary Chapman, Paul White, 2nd editionThe 5 Languages of Appreciation …

Let’s ReflectBreakout groups:Person A tells person B how they receive information. (2 minutes))

Person B tells person A how they receive information (2 minutes)

Person A tells B what they heard (B) share Person B tells A what they heard (A) share

TEST: Reflection in writing

What is the worst thing you have said to yourself while listening to a client?

How many times have you used a demeaning word regarding yourself?

How often does justification come into your explanation?

How many times have YOU been put down?

How many times did you “put down” another? (even mentally – passive)

In this workshop we will practice pausing:

Reflection

a. internal (5 questions)

b.external Circle of influence?

c. Brain Forensics defaults of blame.

“{I’m not}” “{They didn’t}”

“If we just recognize what we are doing, that’s enough. The energy will start to shift.”

Lindsay Wagner, Energy Times, March 2014

Pre -Test 5 Golden Questions(pencils down, just listen – “wash over”)

Do I know what I want to release?

What do I want instead?

How will I make changes? (game plan)

What is stopping me from having what I want right now?

What is my “unknown problem?…until we can author a new story

5 Golden Questions(journals out!)

#1

Do I know what I want to release?

Be curious, keep asking, be specific…what brought you to the workshop ??

o We are hurt in our communities.o We are healed in our communities.

5 Golden Questions(journals out!)

#2

Heart’s Desire

DREAM

What do I want instead?

5 Golden Questions(journals out!)

#3 How will I get there?

game plan -Evidenceseen

5 Golden Questions(journals out!)

#4

What is stopping me from having what I want?

5 Golden Questions(journals out!)

Final Question#5

What is my unknown problem here?

Let’s ReflectPods of 2

What did I discover thus far?

What is Reflection for me?

What are my Desires?What is Wisdom in application?What is my Passion?

break

BACK IN 10 MINUTES

GAME PLAN: Self-Validation

(1) Reflection(External - Comprehension Skills)

• identify defaults of blame• define circle of influence

  (2) Inquiry(Internal - Tools)• 80/20 ?TRUE? POV! HALT

(3) Articulate Wisdom(What was not said) • define intuition in comparison to inference • identify connotative influences

What are we listening to?

How are we

listening

“to ourselves”?

Internal chatter

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CONSCIOUS MIND – BRAIN FORENSICSReptilianReactive: flight, fright, freezeNO language.

MammalianEmotion: Center of addiction. Learned Behavior No Language.

Outer Cortex(Language. Default of Blame)

Neo CortexLanguage. Reasoning. Inquiry. Reflection

Relearn !?

How do we Relearn??

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5c_onhzgvcY

Commercial of father teaching child to throw the baseball.

TOOL Pause –

Integration

Overseeing brainstem activity enabling us to pause before we act, [to] have insight and empathy, and enact moral judgments. . Mindsight, Daniel Siegel, MD

We have another

PERSONAL COUNCIL

“circle of influence”

Silently listened to

respect and reverence

**********

external chatter

Let’s look at the special 5 individuals that are our “special council” & their role in our lives.

What information am I receiving? (energy & physical)

Circle of Influence: REFLECTION TOOL Mammalian heritage: We CONNECT(LEARNING KINDNESS)

Journal - “A” – list… Child

Senior Citizen

Role Model

alive or not

Spiritual Leader

Professional Personal

Mentor

Senior Citizen

Child

Role Model

alive or not

Spiritual Leader

seeing beyond the story

Professional Personal

Mentor

Look at your CIRCLE of blessings! What would you say to them?

How do you encourage them? Would you say to them what you say to yourself?

Use their vision to inspire distance. i.e.: Would I say this judgmental-ism to…who in your circle?

Self -ValidationLooks like????

When we are busy doubting ourselves, we deny

intuitive and/or

inferential

LISTENING

  I. TOOLS for confidenceThis mental negative committee tries to regulate how we react

Inquiry (looking inward) How do we "check in"? Thoughts and non-manual behaviors do have an influence on our daily experience

Integration of Pause … allows flexibility

Inquiry (Internal -Tools)

Tools to explore:HALT80/20POVIs it true?

Let’s Discuss:

H A L T

internal check in

80 /20 Rule

Tool of Reflection

Step Physics / EconomicsPOV

80% drama20% truth

What part of the dramacan we let go of?

Tools

“POV”(listening from within)

Are you listening: objectively -

scorpion Forensics: Facts only - (no emotion) Evidence – low energy

Are you listening: spaciously - hummingbird Notice: Above & Below – Protective of environment – high energy, culture

Are you listening: reflectively - owl Feel it: Intuitive - gut level - 80/20 – (wisdom - without prejudice)

Are you listening: directionally - eagle Subjective: From their eyes - As they would understand - (from afar)

Bonnie@legalinterpreting.org

Is it True? Define Intuition:

Intuition is direct, unbiased perception that comes from unifying the fragmented parts of your awareness – body, emotions, mind, and spirit – and it arises when you’re focused in the present moment.

Frequency, author, Penney Peirce

Intuition can “speak” from different areas of your brain

Is it True? What was not said? What was Said?

Intuition holds a very important role with our interpreting; likewise, INFERENCE skills are critical to our work.

Let’s touch on listening deeper than the words. (+) (-)

Still simply our “opinion”

Opinions are the dismissing of Observation

Willingness to believe there are OTHER options

Let’s ReflectBreakout groups:Starting with each suggested tool for inquiry…

Share which tool is “close to home”

Share NEW tool would like to try

Role Play

II. Inquiry tools (review) (looking inward)

How do we "check in"?

Thoughts and non-manual behaviors do have an influence on our daily experience. We will discuss objective critical analyses.

Tools:

80/20

POV

Is it True?

HALT : Hunger - Angry - Lonely - Tired

REFLECT

JOURNAL

We are influenced by our own Non-Verbal behavior

Amy Cuddy: Your body language shapes who you arehttp://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are.html

Bonnie Gibson-Brydon, ALSPRID: CI, CT NAD: VPula Legal Interpreting Network866-816-9191info@legalinterpreting.org