Welcome to “THE SITREP” – your RLIRA-Africa newsletter – Volume 1, May 2018

Salutation

Greetings all ouens and crows.

Welcome to the 1st

edition of “The Sitrep”. Basically (oh - how I hate that word),

“The Sitrep” is a means to bring all RLI

followers abreast with events happened,

and about to happen, at Dickie Fritz MOTH

Shellhole, Edenvale, Gauteng. This

newsletter will also include updates from

other branches – if they ever get round to

it!.

Albeit, news was received (from Dave

Arkwright – SAS) of ANZAC Day where Dr

Doug Paxton (ex-RLI) read a prayer on the banks of the Swan River. Also received,

from Darrell Watt (SAS) were photos of two SAS members (one is a frequent visitor

of ours) from Borrowdale, Harare. Colin Riddell and Bob Warren-Codrington are

both on duty here but, neither of them realises the Queen left the balcony way

back in 1965!

Ostensibly (oh - how I love that word), “The Sitrep” will concentrate on news from

the last prayer-meeting, or those post the last edition. Your contributions will be

welcome because they will help to “beef-up” and augment the intended humour,

personal detail and friendly atmosphere of our band of brothers/sisters (wowwowwowwow---- that that that that

was terribly PC oldwas terribly PC oldwas terribly PC oldwas terribly PC old----boy!boy!boy!boy!). Not that “The Sitrep” is limited to those of green and

silver ilk – far from it. Our fold is already liberally seasoned with jobs-blue, okes-

brown, Mr Plods and berets-red – an invitation so generously afforded, by the

RLIRA, to all Rhodesians who wish to attend RLIRA prayer-meetings.

So – what is in store for this launch – let’s OP the pozzi.

RLIRA AGM 05 May 2018

Serving members until 2021 are:

Brian Lewis – Chairman

Buck Theron – Secretary

Mark Taunton – Treasurer

Charlie Norris – Welfare

Neil Swart – Events/Fund-raising

Outgoing member

Debbie Huxham – QM – to be replaced by Charlie Warren (BCR)

Minutes of the AGM will be available by other means and, therefore, this is not the

platform to repeat such matters. It was good to see the attendance swell

(gradually) to 43 members, amongst whom were M.J. Smith , Bez Bezuidenhout ,

Kevin and Derrick Taylor , Ross Parker , Skip Bischoff , Vernon Prinsloo , Graeme

Murdoch , Nigel Henson, Pat Armstrong , Ian Bate, Simon Carpenter and others you

might recognise.

An observation perhaps?

The 2017-2018 year was a “bumper” by a long-shot – record membership

subscriptions, record donations, record fund-raising, record cracked and stuck! All

looks good until one examines the records – I mean, subscriptions rocketed from

19% in 2016-2017 to 34% in 2017-2018. Only an idiot would applaud that stat

(except for committee members who made the effort) because – analysis will tell

you that, of the 536 members, only 182 paid their subs! Moreover, of the possible

R160 800.00 only R54 600.00 reached the coffers by way of membership fees.

Ouens – that is pathetic!

When you consider annual subs amount to R25.00 per month (less than a double-

tot and mixer) – and when one looks at the empty spirit bottles that Marion, Alf

and company so doggedly pour every prayer-meeting - the majority of this Gauteng

section of the regiment is out of step! There- I’ve said it.

Come on, ouens – don’t wait for an email from

Mark – pay your subs and stop slouching. Stand tall like an RLI soldier should.

As Brian indicated –Members really do not have an excuse NOT to pay, because

funds are available through the generosity of a number of members who have

donated funds to assist pay for the membership fees, of those who are genuinely

unable to pay. .

That said – non-payment of subs does not, by any means, indicate that you are not

a member of the RLIRA.

However non-payment of subs implies that you are NOT a FULL member in good

standing, [paid up], and therefore will not automatically receive any form of

financial assistance.

Financial assistance is not guaranteed to any member, and is totally dependant on

availability of funds once a request has been verified and approved.

By not paying, implies failing to support your parent Regiment, who in turn are

supporting those members who are in need of assistance – fact!

Col Ian Bate, very fittingly and very eloquently, offered a vote of thanks to the

committee for its outstanding performance – truer words could not have been

spoken.

Attendance

At future prayer-meetings a request will be made for every visitor (ouens

and crows) to complete an attendance register for purposes of circulation in

“The Sitrep”. No malice intended – but, an opportunity to connect with

friends, long-lost lovers and drinking buddies.

Attendees are reminded not to park unlawfully, within the grounds at Dickie

Fritz. Both Col Bate and Lt Col Pat Armstrong were fined last Saturday for

parking their respective “captured” vehicles in the disabled parking. Disabled

– my foot!

Prayer Meeting Feedback – 05 May 2018 (plus more social banter)

Theme – Support Commando Day (and what a day it was!)

A salute must go to this soldier and his team of willing helpers. No, Bucks –

we are saluting you – poop-ol!

Curry and rice went down a treat whilst other “chickens” decided to braai on

fires provided free of charge. Bucks had“valve-bounce” moments after

tasting his own recipe!

Two bands entertained one of the largest crowds ever to congregate at

Dickie Fritz, including an excellent rendition of “Oh, when the Saints…”

Conversation was difficult but, the music certainly got the “boppers” going.

Neil Swart had huge support on the 50/50 board whilst Lynn Theron’s buffalo

painting fetched a princely sum on auction. It is still unclear how many times

Colleen Carter won the auction, and the 50/50, because Neil is keeping

“mum” about how much this generous lady donated to welfare on the day.

She’s trying to remain incognito (can’t see me) here somewhere!

Other “yellows-peril” and reprobates.

Rolls of Honour

The rolls for RLI and Rhaf were read by Nigel Henson (ex-OC Support Cdo) and Rob

Sweeting respectively. Our fallen for the month of May are as follows:

Surname Name Number Rank Unit Command Status DoD

Bennett

Raynor

Laurence

"Ray"

722154 WO2 Attd

SchInf RLI DOAS

01-

May-

77

Chance

Michael

John

"Mike"

730045 Tpr 11 Tp, 3

Cdo RLI KIA

15-

May-

79

Clarke George

William 728197 Tpr Spt Cdo RLI KIA

15-

May-

77

Clinton Vernon 5424 Tpr 1st Bn RLI KOAS

08-

May-

73

Edmunds

Christopher

John

"Bobo"

727562 Tpr 2 Cdo RLI KIA

30-

May-

77

Johnston Alan

Thomas 3248 Tpr 2 Cdo RLI KOAS

13-

May-

69

MacDonald Earl Angus

Cecil 727392 Tpr Spt Cdo RLI KIA

15-

May-

77

Maguire Raymond

Edwin 726911 L/Cpl 1 Cdo RLI DOAS

14-

May-

77

Muir

Douglas

Sydney

"Dougie"

728586 Tpr 1 Cdo RLI KIA

12-

May-

79

Myburgh

Kenneth

Herman

"Ken"

730053 Tpr Spt Cdo RLI KIA

16-

May-

79

Pitch Leonard

Paul "Len" V2145 Capt

Attached

to 13 Tp,

3 Cdo

RLI KIA

17-

May-

76

Visser Bertie 5052 Tpr 2 Cdo RLI KOAS

11-

May-

71

Walters John

William 781339 2LT 2 Cdo RLI KOAS

27-

May-

79

Zietsman

Andrew

Irvine

"Andy"

"Ziets"

111392 Tpr 1 Cdo RLI KIA

11-

May-

78

Brown

Compton

William

David

"Dave"

4260 AC TF

Supern RhAF KOAS

04-

May-

77

Collocott Bruce Ivan 4123 Flt Lt -

Plt No 3 Sqn RhAF KIA

30-

May-

77

Nelson

Robert

George

"Rob"

6526

Snr Ac -

Tech/Gn

r

No 7 Sqn RhAF KIA

18-

May-

77

Small

Thomas

Albert

Mark

AF Fit No 4 Sqn RhAF KOAS

25-

May-

75

Straw Rodney

Peter Tech/Sgt Thornhill RhAF DOAS

10-

May-

71

Humour

Whilst this sequence was completely unintentional, Pauline is reminded that

“war-stories” should not be repeated at prayer-meetings.

Even the BSAP enjoyed that one!

Sunset calls

Thankfully, there were no calls for deceased members since the April reunion –

avoidance is key to survival.

Sick Parade

After several “oil-changes”, and an equal number of satisfied nurses, we were

delighted to see him in fine fettle. Stay that way, boet, and all the best to you and

Debbie upon your retirement in Cape Town. Watch out Cape Town – this ouen can

be seriously funny and his good lady is an avid RLI supporter – tables need to be

sturdy when the music is pumping.

This couple has spent a fortune on medical expenses and, therefore, can be

excused their appearance.

Mads’ ankle made an unlawfully painful “U-turn” whilst on a recent trip to Kruger

Game Reserve, resulting in the hire of a wheel-chair for purposes game-viewing.

Being of 1 Cdo extract, Bongs has advised against such foolish behaviour because a

cheetah is sure to catch Mads if it comes to a race! Mads thinks differently.

Keith Blanshard has not had a “jump” for quite some time due to flu. Whilst he

shows genuine concern for Mads’ predicament – NOT, he is following the advice of

his skydiving instructor to reduce air-flow!

A quick look in the rear-view mirror to the 03 March reunion, dedicated to raising

funds for a 3 Commando ouen who had recently donated his body (whilst alive) to

science, for purposes “knitting”. Even more remarkable is the fact that 1 Cdo

sponsored the event! – Such is a Cheetah’s craving for Lovers. A wheel-barrow, full

of booze, was raffled in two sections, A & B. The finalist of A was drawn against the

finalist of B in order for the vanquished to be mortified. Wait for it – the finalist of A

just happened to be the wife of subject “knitting”, whilst B consisted of the one and

only

Before a clear winner was decided, A &B came to a compromise – B would

drink the booze if A allowed him to pee into the barrow! Such are the

enigmatic negotiating skills of RLI troopers.

Combined with the sale of Boerie rolls (accompanied by some serious ring-

sting prepared by Bucks) our BIG Red “master of ceremonies” succoured R14

000.00 from willing, unsuspecting and inebriated patrons. That’s good going

Swartie – keep it up. Incidentally, most of the wheel-barrow contained

bottles RED.

Upcoming Events

The next prayer meeting will be on the first Saturday of next month, as usual – 02

June. There is no theme, as yet.

QM Stores

It is reported (on good authority) that stores are overflowing – perhaps that should

have read “garages”. To this end, it is believed, there is to be a mass sale. This

news will be of particular interest to collectors, hoarders, and squirrels book-

lovers. The plan is, to regroup and resupply with much needed, and much wanted,

stock – rat-packs, housewives, fresh-puss, ammo and chibullies. More later when

details are revealed by Charlie Warren – not forgetting his BCR.

One of the new products is real bully-beef, a product of Botswana that tastes

exactly the same as the genuine article i.e. army rat-packs. At R30.00 per tin, “you

no longer have to dream about your call-up – you can relive it!”

Honestly, this is an excellent product and far superior to

any “corned meat” found in supermarkets. Tinned ham

(same size) retails for >R40.00, so make sure you

are first in the queue.

Advertising

There are plans to offer members an

opportunity to advertise themselves and their services (gigolos exempted).

Between us, we have plumbers, electricians, house and pet sitters, lawyers,

egg-sellers and a host of other up-standing professions. Now is an

opportunity to offer your wares and, perhaps, save a buddy some “start”.

Advertisements will cost R50-00 per entry or R500.00 for an annual

subscription. You provide the type-setting and, upon payment, your advert

will be included in the next “The Sitrep”. NB – genuine appeals for

employment, support, lost and found, seeking friends, or assistance will not

be charged – only services, merchandise, sell/swop and gigolos will be

charged. Enquiries can be forwarded to arhresearching@gmail.com - also use

this address for news items, opinions and feedback for inclusion in the next

edition.

Seeking Employment

Chris Bekker -2 Commando

Seeking employment in KZN or Gauteng. Has valid code 8 clean driver’s

licence and several years’ experience in the paint trade.

Please contact chrisbekker1954@gmail.com.

Until next time – keep your pecker up – head down – keep well – and keep

supporting the RLIRA.

Ed