smile! - candlewick press

You get THREE GOLD STARS

for reading this book

(good choice).

TOMGATES2_BGI_US.indd 1 12/1/14 5:22 PM

s p a r e b o o t s

Vam p i

r e

S WA M P

m o ns t

e r

Smile!

Home-

work


Smile!

By Liz Pichon

ExcellentExcuses

(and other good stuff)

Includes a special glossary

by TOM!


This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either products of the author’s

imagination or, if real, are used fictitiously.

Copyright © 2011 by Liz Pichon

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, transmitted, or stored in an information

retrieval system in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, taping, and recording, without prior written permission from the publisher.

First U.S. edition 2015

Library of Congress Catalog Card Number 2014944793 ISBN 978-0-7636-7474-8

14 15 16 17 18 19 BVG 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Printed in Berryville, VA, U.S.A.

This book was typeset in Pichon. The illustrations were done in mixed media.

Candlewick Press 99 Dover Street

Somerville, Massachusetts 02144

visit us at www.candlewick.com

Tree

photograph

P. 21 courtesy

of

Lily Pichon

Flannery.


(Homework snacks)


1

Wake up this morning and

suddenly remember something absolute ly

BRILLIANT!


Yeah!


3

I can forget ALL about lessons

(and irr itating things l ike

Marcus Meldrew) . And concentrate

on GOOD stuff l ike :

Inventing new ways to annoy

my s ister, Del ia . (So many! )

Drawing pictures

(that annoy Del ia ) .

Watching TV and

eating caramel wafers .

Eating caramel wafers

and watching TV .

And most important . . .

Ha! Ha!


4

-Band pract i ce for

with Derek

(who’s my best mate and

next-door neighbor. )

Tonight we’re p lanning a s leepover

at his house . Which is easy to do

as he’s so c lose .

zzzzzzzz

z

Excellent choice.

OK!


5

One of the other great things about going to

Derek’s is he doesn’t have an annoying

s ister ( l ike I do) . . .

AND he has a dog cal led Rooster.

Which I know is a stupid name

for a dog, but I ’m getting used

to it (sort of) .

Sometimes Rooster can be

almost as annoying as Del ia . Espec ia l ly when

he won’t stop

Occas ional ly Derek

throws him a to shut him up.

Woof

BARKING!Doggy Treat

Yum!


6

But if that doesn’t work , I give him a

pair of D e l ia ’s sunglasses

to chew on. It keeps h im happy

for HOURS .

Right now I can hear De l ia

shuffl ing around outs ide my

bedroom (which usual ly means troub le ) .

So I LEAN on my door to stop her

from barging in .

Somehow she st i l l manages to

st ick her head

around the door.

She says . . .


7

You’re in troub le . Mom wants to see

you RIGHT NOW,

(That doesn’t sound good . . . groan. )

I wish I cou ld shut Del ia up with a doggy

treat. How good would that be?

Ha! Ha!

DELIATREATS

SHUTS HER UP!

.


8

When I see Mom, she’s hold ing a

letter from school . I ’m trying

real ly hard to

remember

ANYTHING I ’ve done

that might have gotten me into troub le .

No . . . can’t think of anything.

Nothing at al l .

(I am innocent. )

But by the way Mom is looking at me,

in that What have you got to say for yourself?

kind of way, I must have forgotten

something. She gives me the letter to read.


9

OK, just remembered.

To Mr. and Mrs. Gates

RE: Tom Gates Dog Attack

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Gates,

I do hope that Tom has recovered from the vicious

dog that attacked him on the last day of the term

as he walked to school.

What luck that he had his schoolbook to defend

himself with.

I’m SO glad i t was only his homework that was

chewed and not Tom. Enclosed is ANOTHER copy

of the HOMEWORK — to review a fi lm/book/

TV show — for Tom to complete again during his

holiday.

Let’s hope there are no other ANGRY beasts

ready to pounce in the future!

Many thanks for your help.

Kind regards,

Mr. Ful lerman

Class 5F Teacher


10

I am trying to expla in to Mom what

happened to me by reenacting the

who le scene in s low motion.

(There was no choice . . . . It was me or the

homework. )

But she’s not impressed. I think she

suspects I might have made up the dog

attack (I did . )

Instead I have to agree to:1.Do my review homework (AGAIN) .

2.Not use vic ious dogs as an excuse

for lack of homework (or any other

Grrrr

Grrrr


11

kind of creature, for that matter. )

3. Clean my room. (Mom added that one. )

Sti l l , at

least I have

to do the

review homework in .

Though I wi l l probab ly leave it unti l the last

poss ib le moment, l ike the night before school .

That works for me.

Got it.

Homework

Alien

Hand over your homework.

If you insist.


12

“NOW?What do you mean I have to do my homework

r ight now? I’ve st i l l got

TWO WHOLE WEEKS!”Mom says, “There’s no time l ike the present.”

Then she adds, “No s leepover at Derek’s unti l

you’ve done your homework.”

Which is a DISASTER!


13

I have to think of something to

review quick ly . Mmmmmmmmm.

Think . . . think . . . th ink . . . th ink . . .

th ink . . . .

If I don’t think of something fAST

Mom wi l l keep me in the house

Then, just to add to the

, Derek phones up to

find out what time I’m coming over for the

s leepover and band practice .

I hear Mom saying,

That all depends on how l ong it takes Tom to do h i s rev iew homework , Derek . (That’s ALL I need. )

when


14

Mom thinks I shou ld go to my room to

“s it quiet ly and concentrate on getting it

done.”

(It ’s not working. )

B L A N K


15

So I do some drawing instead.

It ’s a lot more fun inventing my own

characters . . . .

The ONLY thing I can think of that I

cou ld review is the concert that

Dad took me to. It ’s actual ly a BRILLIANT idea

because is amazing.

(Even Mr. fu l lerman is a fan. )

Suddenly my review wi l l be no prob lem at al l .

Derek’s house, here I come.

Ha, Ha!THE BODGE BROTHERS

Straw?

Rubbish at EVERYTHING


16

REVIEW HOMEWORKby Tom Gates

I went to see the concert .

They are the

and anyone who doesn’t think so is

a total IDIOT.The End


17

I run downstairs and show it quick ly to Mom.

There . . . a l l done.


18

I am busy packing a few essentia ls

for Derek’s house when

Dad comes up

to see me.

Apparent ly Mom

doesn’t think I am taking my review homework

“ser ious ly .” Dad says I have do it again

“PROPERLY.”

Which is a b it HARSH . (OK, I admit my

review was short, but true . )

Dad suddenly holds up a packet of

wafers .

“for the s leepover,

when you’ve done your

homework again , OK?”

WAfERS

ROCK WEEKLY

ROCK WEEKLY

SNACKS


19

SUDDENLY I am VERY

In fact I have a TOTAL

to get my homework done in doub le-quick t ime.

(I am a genius . )

I run d o w n stairs and grab

the first book from the she lf that

looks thick (but not TOO thick . ) Mom

sees that I am hold ing a BOOK and

assumes that:

TOM

(She looks p leased with me. )

WAVE BRAIN

THICK BOOK

SERIOUS ATTEMPT AT HOMEWORK.

SIGH . . .

.


20

The book I’ve got is about . . .

let me see . . .

TREESNever mind, that wi l l have to do. I can see

there’s a lot of good stuff written on

the back of this book (and ins ide ! ) that

wi l l he lp make my REvIEW seem very

impress ive indeed.

Here goes .


22

Homework fINISHED.

YEAH!

I te l l Mom and Dad, and they want me to

READ it to them.

“What, NOW?”“Yes, Tom, now. We’d love to hear it .”

(Which actual ly means “just checking you’ve

real ly done it this t ime.” )


23

De l ia is lurk ing in the kitchen, trying to

l i sten. So I shut the kitchen

door ( in her face) , then read

it as quick ly as I

can.

LUCKILY, my homework is

EXCELLENT ( if I do say so myse lf) .

Mom and Dad are p leased and s l ight ly

surpr ised I ’ve managed to write such a

good review SO quick ly . I let them see it

by WAfTING it under their noses . . .

super fast .

(Must remember to hide the book on trees . )

SLAM

WA f T


24

M om and Dad say wel l done for being

so fOCUSED.

I say, “It's a l l due to

(Which is something I’ve heard my teachers say.)

Then I add, “I ’m actual ly VERY interested

in TREES.” (I ’m not. )

This goes down real ly wel l and

stops Mom and Dad from asking me any more

difficu lt quest ions .

GREAT!(I shou ld say nice stuff l ike that more often. )

SO SWEET

."


25

They are both in a good mood now, so I

suggest that another s ign of

would be to reward my hard work and

EffORT with some

ExTRA

p o c k e t m o n ey ?

Which doesn’t go down quite so wel l .

No chance.

(Worth a try, though. )


26

SLEEPOvER

Derek is happy

I ’ve brought SNACKS.

But stupid ly , I ’ve forgotten to br ing my

guitar for band practice . And far

more important , I ’ve left

my spec ia l teddy at home. (I don’t te l l

Derek because we agreed that Specia l Teddies

were probab ly a b it TOO babyish now that

we’re in a band. )

AT DEREK’S.

Yeah!

WRONG


27

Luck i ly Derek’s house is r ight next door

to mine . So I run back home to get them both.

De l ia is s itt ing in the front

garden with her “dodgy”

boyfriend, Ed

(or Ted

or whatever his

name is ) . He says, All right, Tom?

(Which is nice and takes

me by surpr ise . ) Then De l ia shouts,

Get lost … idiot. (Which is not a surpr ise at al l . )

That’s when I notice Ed and Del ia are

actual ly HOLDING HANDS. UGH!


28

It’s

I fee l a b it s ick and have to run into

the house quick ly .

I grab my guitar, teddy,

AND a se lect ion of

embarrass ing photos of Del ia that I ’ve been

saving for a VERY specia l occas ion.

I think this might be the SPECIAL

occas ion I ’ve been wait ing for.

.


Del ia with a potty on her head

Del ia after cutting her own hair with p lay sc issors

Del ia with scary smi le

Del ia after I pushed her into the mud (my personal favor ite)

Del ia with more bad hair and zits


30

Derek can’t stop laughing at Del ia ’s

photos .

We both agree that photos this

funny need to be shared with

OTHER people .

Other people l ike

De l ia ’s boyfr iend, ED.

Ha!Ha! Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!


31

(I have a good plan. )


Tom Gates: Excellent Excuses

(and Other Good Stuff)L. Pichon

www.candlewick.com

www.candlewick.com

http://www.indiebound.org/book/9780763674748

http://www.amazon.com/Tom-Gates-Excellent-Excuses-Other/dp/0763674745/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1409940854&sr=8-3&keywords=tom+gates+excellent+excuses

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/tom-gates-liz-pichon/1119987308?ean=9780763674748

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