sol 1 seminar - family [teacher's guide]

7/29/2019 SOL 1 Seminar - Family [Teacher's Guide]

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School of Leaders Page 1 of 55Level 1 Seminar: Family

Family

Seminar

Level 1

Teachers Guide

CESAR CASTELLANOS D. 2003

Published by G12 Editores

[email protected]

All Rights reserved.

The total or partial reproduction of this book is forbidden under any of its forms, neither graphic,electronic or audiovisual, without previous written authorization from publishers.

All Rights Reserved Copyright 2003

Made in Colombia

Printed in Colombia


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Contents

Forward

I. The Family

II. The Family Member and Their Proper Roles

III. Protecting Self-esteem

IV. Seven Steps to a Successful Courtship

V. Strengthening Communication in the Family

VI. The Blessing of God upon the Family

VII. The Leader and the Family

VIII. Abundant Life


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Forward

The material you now hold in your hands was birth out of our own experience within the churchthrough the leaders that we developed over the years, in ministry. Even though we knew from theday our church opened in 1983, that we would be a cell church and would have an immense effecton our city, it was not until sometime in 1990 that the Lord removed the veil to expose to us, the

vision of the government of twelve. In the wake of this revelation, the church experienced a growthexplosion that has superseded all records on church growth with no waning in sight. Along with theexcitement of growth, as pastors we were challenged to develop these new believers that the Lordentrusted to us.

During this time God gave me a Rhema word for our ministry: "I will give you the ability to quicklytrain people." This was a word we truly needed because up until then it was taking at least two yearsto train a cell leader. The demand was great and the process was just too long. But after that word,the heavens opened up and a special anointing was released upon each person that was helping usin the ministry. Now, the entire congregation, from the least to the greatest, reeled with motivation;they wanted to be a part of the vision. The mind of the people, even ours, was powerfully impressedwith the vision of growth, but the necessary components were not in place for the mostadvantageous operating system.

A formula has been developed and implemented as a result of the word the Lord gave, thanks to theteam of pastors and leaders that Jesus gave us. How would we actually train faster? What tools wouldbe used? The best possible method was being created for our use according to the results we saw aswe went along. We then decided to put them into motion as a part of our vision.

For many years prior, we did not want to be away from the church because we felt that our visionwas still being established. Neither did we want to teach about church growth until we had acongregation to back it up. Now that God has allowed us to become one of the largest churches inthe world, with an average of 25,000 leadership school students, we can only thank God for Hismercy to our country and for having lifted up our church as the leader of that great spiritualawakening which has been able to influence the nations of the earth. It is our prayer that thismaterial blesses your life, your church and your ministry. May each one of you fulfill God's purpose inyour lives.

In the love of Christ,

Cesar and Claudia Castellanos


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Lesson 1: The Family

Teaching Objectives

The student will learn God's plan for the family and its importance in the life of every human being.

Development of the Subject

1. The student will be able to explain the BIBLICAL FOUNDATIONAL REFERENCES of the origin offamily.

2. The student will be able to explain the importance of the family.

Biblical Foundation Reference

Genesis 1:27

Corresponding Biblical Foundation

Genesis 2:19

Genesis 1:15-25

Mark 3:27

Luke 14:27-30

Psalm 127:3-5

Psalm 128:3

Ephesians 5:28

Titus 2:4Proverbs 13:24

Proverbs 22:15

1 Timothy 5:8

Colossians 3:21

Ephesians 6:4

Proverbs 31

Mark 10:6-9

Psalm 27:10Matthew 7:27

Key Text

Genesis 1:28

God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on theground."


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I. God's Plan for the Family

Marriage is an extension of God's own nature as expressed in Genesis 1:27. The fullness of God's

happiness, peace, abundance and greatness was bestowed upon the human race through thefirst couple that He created. Had they kept the principles that God established, they would nothave needed to go through so many difficulties such as pain, sickness, misery, sadness, suffering,etc. Even though God had carefully prepared the place where this couple would inhabit (with theirdescendants), and even though God had thought of every last detail necessary for their eternalhappiness, there was one area where God chose not to intervene the human will which He hadplaced in each person.

This would be the inheritance that He had entrusted to them, to administer as they saw fit, butthe happiness of the couple depended on their obedience to the Word of God. Even if the couplewas not educated in other subjects, that would affect their marriage, such as, finance, educatingtheir children, etc., with just their simple obedience to God, He would guide them into having thebest home possible. The reason is because "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom."

It is important to understand that God's intention to redeem marriages and families is to restorethem to His original plan. A part of that plan is that our understanding needs to adjust to thedivine purpose of living effectively within the relationships that God has ordained for our homes.

A. God Established a Foundation - Matthew 7:24-27

Every couple goes into marriage with the illusion of building the best home in the world, but inorder to do that they must work on laying the foundation. The foundation of a home does notdepend on your profession, the size of your bank account or the family you came from. TheLord said, "The foundation of a home is hearing, keeping and doing". This combination of thethree elements is as strong as when you put bricks, sand and cement together to lay afoundation. When someone builds a tall tower, a deep hole must be dug into the ground, inaccordance to the size of the planned construction; then a good strong foundation must belaid. A home must be built with the knowledge that the foundation will add the support of the

family's needs.

B. God Created Marriage - Genesis 2:18

Marriage was not man's idea; it was a divine idea. God created man with the capacity to feelattraction for the opposite sex; man towards woman and woman towards man. God gaveAdam a perfect helpmate, someone that would partner with him; a woman who would be hishelper and support. Together they would make a team. In His infinite wisdom, God chose twocompletely different people and brought them together in a covenant of faithful andpermanent love. When this happens, a miracle takes place. These two individuals jointogether in a mysterious way to become one. The purpose of this union is to bring forth a newgeneration for God. Malachi 2:15

C. God United Them in Marriage - Genesis 1:28

The fullness of the blessing comes, not when people are single, but when they married. Godblessed the couple and both were given the same degree of responsibility. If the couple abidesin full harmony, these three blessings abide with them:

1. Fruitfulness

The fruit determines the type. The first couple's life was innocent and pure therefore thefruit should have been the fruit of sanctification.

2. Multiplication


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What is seen in the natural realm is true also in the spiritual. Children in a marriage arethe result of teamwork. In the same way, abundant fruit is seen in ministry when bothwork together as a team. The end result is multiplication.

3. Lordship

A life of holiness should lead to multiplication when this happens authority comes. Acouple united in harmony, being led by the Word of God, is as powerful as a well

organized army. The secret is to always work as a team. When Eve wanted to beindependent she opened the door to the tempter. But had she first consulted with herhusband, things would have been very different.

D. God Set Guidelines - Genesis 2:15-25

v. 15 - Man should provide for his home and protect his family.

He is like the guardian angel over his house. The strategy of the adversary is to attack himwith vices of negative or unclean thoughts, evil desires and sinful conduct. If the enemy isable to influence man's will and keep him enslaved to sin, it becomes easier for him toattack the rest of his family (Mark 3:27).

vs. 16-17 - Man should be obedient.

God allows mankind to go through certain trials that will ensure Him of their true, heartfeltlove.

v. 18 - Fellowship.

The woman is the perfect complement to man's life and has the ability to fulfill all hisexpectations.

v. 19 - Man determines his family's destiny.

He decides the outcome or destiny of his children. Fathers can make their children eitherthe happiest people alive or the most miserable because his words have authority over hisfamily.

v. 21-23 - From the two He made one.

The miracle of marriage has its roots from the creation of mankind for the woman wascreated from the same nature or substance of the man. When a couple is able tounderstand their roots and their destiny, they will be able to work as a team and takeadvantage of all the things available in order to be truly happy.

v. 24 - Protection of intimacy

Every couple needs to protect their intimacy. The best way to mature is to have thechallenge of having to make it on their own.

v. 25 - Transparency.

With sincerity and integrity, a couple can reach the highest pinnacles of family harmony.

II. The Importance of a Family

A. Marital Stability - Luke 14:27-30

Allow me to paraphrase this text: Anyone then, wanting to build this great tower calledmarriage, must first see if they are able to go to the very end. May it not be that the person(be it the husband or the wife) gets married full of enthusiasm but after a few years abandonsthe spouse, ending in separation. This person may become a laughing stock befuddled bysuch mockery as, "Yeah, he stared out so excited. But now look, he's left his wife and hischildren!"


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In order to build a marriage you must start out visualizing how you two are going to be happyforever. You need to know from the start that you will have the strength to persevere togetherand reproduce for several generations. Within divine guidelines, marriage is one of thegreatest blessings, especially when you understand that the blessing of God is enriching anddoes not bring sadness to our lives. In other words, God will keep you from ending up inseparation.

B. Offspring - Psalm 127:3-5

What good is it to build a home and have no family to live in it after you are gone? Napoleon,despite all his efforts, was not able to create a dynasty. Thousands of wealthy people wouldgive half of everything they own, just to hear the cry of a newborn babe in their family.

Children are the inheritance that God will give us. When a man dies without children, hishome is still not built.

A warrior is happy as he sees his arrows fly where he himself is not able to go. Good childrenare like arrows headed for the targets that their parents point them toward. What marvels cana man accomplish, if he has affectionate children who fulfill the wishes of their father and payheed to his counsel!

C. A Blessed Family - Psalm 128:3

Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine within your house and your children like olive plantsaround your table. The vine is a type of happiness and fruitfulness. These are the two abilitiesthe Lord has given wives. Children are like olive plants. The olive tree represents the anointingof God, which is what strengthens families to conquer all. The meaning behind the anointingwith oil is that God will fight for us.

D. Conjugal Love - Ephesians 5:28

The standard that God set for each man is very high: love your wife with the same love thatChrist loved the church and gave Himself as a sacrifice for. This was all for the redemption ofthe church. Marital love must be fed daily with words, attitudes and nice details. You mustfight to protect the members of your family from any emotional wounds. There must be a firmcommitment by both spouses to never allow the flame of romantic love to die down or burnout.

E. The Womans Leadership - Titus 2:4

Paul emphasized working with homogeneous groups. In the scripture he encourages womento develop in ministry and to be trained so that they can teach other women. The best way todo this is in groups made strictly of women where the issues discussed can be specificallydesigned for that group. The two foundational issues far women's groups are love toward yourspouse and love toward your children.

III. Taking Responsibility

A. The Use of Proper Discipline - Proverbs 13:24, 22:15

There are three steps in the use of proper discipline in the family:1. To edify

In the same way we establish limits for the proper growth of a tree so that it does not growtwisted, so must a father do with his children. He recognizes that his children must becorrected from an early age and to set limits, in order to help in their growth. This is truein any type of discipline.

2. To encourage


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Discipline should be focused on encouraging the children to become better day by day. Anegative attitude or the use of negative speech can bring emotional destruction and killtheir drive to overcome. It is important for parents to encourage and bless their childrendaily. Each word spoken over them can be as powerful as a prophecy.

3. To comfort

Children need to know they are not alone in their struggles but that they can count on the

help and support of their parents, to whom they can run to in any situation and findrefuge. Our children's worth is not determined by what they do but by who they are.

B. The Importance of Good Instruction - Proverbs 22:15

In general, children have the tendency to believe that they know best. But it is the parent'sduty to guide them down the path of truth, with love and by their example. The world mayoffer many alternatives but there is only one way to the Father; Jesus. If we can help thementer into an intimate relationship with God, as parents, we have fulfilled a large part of ourresponsibility. We should also seek to invest time in their lives as they grow up. Parents shouldlook for bridges of communication to cultivate their relationship with their children.

C. Providing for Your Family - 1 Timothy 5:8

A human's life develops in cycles. During the first cycle, the parents are the ones working and

providing for all the needs in the home. In the second cycle, the children are the ones with thestrength of providing for their families. This is the time within the cycle when they shouldhonor their parents with the necessary provision, to avoid being classified by God as "Worsethan an unbeliever. Whoever carries the responsibility of providing for their home should doso with an attitude of faith and a generous heart. In doing so, the inherent blessing in therelationship will not be lost through any negative comments.

D. Moral Values - Colossians 3:21; Ephesians 6:4

We should have balance when we discipline our children. It should not be too drastic, but theother extreme of excessive permissiveness should also be avoided. Both extremes aredangerous because it could damage or spoil the children as was the case with the sons of Eli.He never disciplined them and this brought about early death. 1 Samuel 3:11-14

E. The Virtuous Woman - Proverbs 31:10The virtuous woman builds her house. She is the center of the home. She is able to discoverthe talents and gifting of her children, discerns good business decisions for her husband,knows where to raise her children and has the ability to bring prosperity to her home.

F. The Ideal Marriage - Mark 10:6-9

We can say that the divorce rate within Christianity is minimal, thanks to those covenant vowsthat the man and the woman spoke as they joined their lives in marriage before God. Sincethe Lord is a covenant God, He is keenly aware of those lives coming together under Hisblessing. He watches over those who are truly trying to fulfill His commandments.

There are many reasons for divorcing: infidelity, lack of love or communication, falseexpectations, etc. But those who have the blessing of God will have the strength to overcome

any obstacle.

G. Gods Unconditional Love - Psalm 27:10

In general, humans have many spiritual voids that stem mainly from childhood and werecaused from a variety of reasons or circumstances: For some, parental neglect, due toabandonment, is a factor. For others, indifferences and stress in parenting became the reason.Even though the parents may have forgotten their primary responsibility of protecting theirchildren, God does not forget. He comes in and takes over the responsibility abdicated by theparents. For that reason, God is always waiting with open arms to comfort each one of Hischildren.


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Conclusion

The origin of the family goes back to the origin of mankind and is part of God's plan for all humanity.That is why God's plan is to restore the family with the purpose to rebuild that which the enemy triedto destroy.

Evaluation

It is important that your students understand the origin of the family and the importance of their ownfamilies. This lesson can be evaluated by having the students analyze their own families (Seestudents' assignment).

Recommended Methodology

For this lesson, it is important to clearly explain the issues discussed. Open discussion with questionand answer format, relevant to the subject, is recommended.

Students Assignment

The students should do reports about their own families evaluating their family's current conditionand any possible.

Application

During this week, take time to thank God for the family He gave you. Seek to reach out with lovingarms to each family member living at home. Make lists of each one of their qualities and thank Godfor their lives.


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Questions for Further Study

1. What is the main purpose of the family?_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2. When God established the foundation of marriage, what were the three steps given by God for usto practice?

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

3. How did God establish the first couple according to Genesis 2:18?_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

4. What were the blessings God gave them when He united them?_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

5. What were the guidelines that God gave the first couple according to Genesis 2:15-25?______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

6. Why is marital stability important in a marriage?_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

7. Define offspring and explain why it is so important to the family.______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

8. What is the blessing of God for the family?_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

9. What does Ephesians 5:18 tell us about marital love?__________________________________________________________________________________________________


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_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

10. Explain Titus 2:4 in reference to a woman.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

11. The responsibilities within marriage are:

a. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

b. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

c. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

d. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

e. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


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Lesson 2: Family Members and Their Proper Roles

Teaching Objective

For the student to understand what the duties are, for each of the individual family members.

Student Objectives

1. The student will explain what the father's role is.

2. The student will explain what the mother's role is.

3. The student will explain what the children's role is.

Biblical Foundation Reference

Ephesians 6:1-3


Luke 15:20

Genesis 17:5-6

Genesis 27:27

1 Kings 9:4-5

Esther 2:11

Proverbs 31:10-31

Galatians 6:7-9

Titus 2:7

Proverbs 1:8

Proverbs 23:22

Proverbs 20:20

Key Text

Ephesians 6:1-4

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother"which is

the first commandment with a promise "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy longlife on the earth. Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the trainingand instruction of the Lord.


I. The Father

The heart of God is that of a father's. His very nature says that He is first and foremost a father. Inour Father's heart there is love, sweetness, understanding, mercy and provision. No one has


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greater love as the Father does. He loved the world so much that He gave His son, Jesus Christ,for our redemption. If an earthly father gives only the best to his children, how much more willour heavenly father do so with each one of you? In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus set a highstandard for each of His disciples: "Be ye perfect as your Father in heaven is perfect" (Matthew5:48).

We will become outstanding leaders when we first become excellent fathers.

Paul said, "For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heavenand on earth derives its name" (Ephesians 3:14-15). God is the solid foundation of the family. Theword "family" originates from the root word "paternity " God wants to restore true paternity in thefamily through the men, by having them take back their authority as fathers, who buildrelationships with their children which establishes their family's destiny.

A father who is led by God shows character qualities different from those learned in the world.

A. Merciful Father - Luke 15:20

It is exciting to see how Jesus revealed the Father's heart to us through the use of parables.For example, in the parable of the prodigal son, the father is anxiously waiting to forgive hisson when he returns, in spite of his rebelliousness. He had always been waiting for his returnand when he saw him arriving from afar, he ran out to meet him and embraced his son with ablessing. That was one of my first experiences as a new Christian. I sensed that my Father'sarms were opened, extended to me, wherein I could take my refuge. I did not hesitate toplace myself right there. This brought so much security and emotional stability to my life thatI never wanted that moment to end. Anyone wanting to love another person must first receivelove from the Father.

B. Father of Multitudes - Genesis 17:5-6

"Abram" means exalted father, but his new name "Abraham" means father of multitudes. Godwas pleased by the faith of this great man and knew that he would raise his children in thefear of God. It pleased Him to multiply his descendents for a thousand generations.

C. A Father Who Blesses His Children - Genesis 27:27-29

The blessing is the path that the father prepares for his children. Every word proceeding from

his lips activates the spiritual realm causing things to move in order to fulfill the words hespoke over his children. I highly recommend that fathers speak daily blessings over theirchildren. They should pray for their divine protection, spiritual peace, financial provision,family harmony and the anointing for multiplication.

D. An Exemplary Father - 1 King 9:4-5

David was known as a man after God's own heart. One of the best descriptions of his life isfound in Psalm 15.

v.1 He was committed to the House of God

v.2 He led a life of permanent integrity

v.3 He never spoke evil about anyone nor accepted gossip about others

v.4 He kept his word and never took it back

v.5 He was transparent concerning his finances

E. A Substitute Father - Esther 2:11

When Esther became an orphan, Mordecai, her uncle, took on the role of her father. He caredfor her and trained her up as his own daughter. Even though the emotional void in Esther's lifemay have been great, he was able to fill it in such a way that she eventually became a womanin her own right knowing how to trust in God. She grew in her faith and later won the support


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of her own people. God was able to use all of this to make her a queen in the midst of a pagannation. This later worked to save the lives of all the Jews living in that country.

II. The Mother

God blessed me with the best mother in the world. Even though she had twelve children, she wascareful to watch over each one of them. When my father died thirty eight years ago, people

wondered how she would raise and educate her children. She would later experience the truth ofGod's word where it said, "God is a husband to the widows and a father to the orphans." How shewas able to do it, I don't know, but God knows. Everything she touched was multiplied and therewas always abundance. This proved that God never withheld his provision to us. I can say thatmy mother was a woman who lived only for her children.

I rejoiced greatly when at the age of eighty one, she started her first home cell group meetingwith sixteen people in attendance. Everyone there was about as young as she was! Seeing heractively involved in ministry has brought great satisfaction to me. I have never seen her as happyas she is now serving God. I have memories of love, affection, self denial, patience, dedication,and above all, of a woman who always trusted in God.

A. Virtuous Woman - Proverbs 31:10-31

The author of proverbs presents us with all the benefits that accompany the virtuous woman.

v.10 She is a gift from God to her husband. Her worth is far above jewels.

v.11 Her husband trusts her and she has the anointing to attract prosperity.

v.12 She is always a blessing to her husband. vs.13 She is a hard worker.

v.13 She is a hard worker.

v.14 She is resourceful.

v.15 She looks out for her family's well being.

v.16 She works in order to leave an inheritance for her children.

v.17 She is strong and courageous.

v.18 She is financially discerning and has a sensitive spirit to divine revelationsreceived in dreams.

v.19 She knows how to do her job.

v.20 She has mercy on the needy.

v.21 She guards her household.

v.22 She is elegant.

v.23 She encourages her husband in ministry.

v.24 She's entrepreneurial.

v.25 She prepares for the future events.

v.26 She always has a word of wisdom and she knows how to practice mercy.

v.27 She can carry her own weight without being a burden to anyone.

v.28 She has her family's respect and admiration. vs.29 She is extraordinary andexcels above everyone else.


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v.30 She is not deceived by outward beauty but puts confidence in God only.

v.31 Her work speaks more than her words.

III. What are you sowing into your family?

A. Galatians 6:7-9

The home is like fertile soil where the words spoken in the past have grown, bringing all theirconsequences with them, into the present. What we plant today will bring its fruit tomorrow.

Today, society is faced with the deterioration of the family's nucleus. It is one of the greatestcrises of humanity. Many things like TV, radio, magazines and the like, have had the type ofinfluence that has cut a line of corrosion right down the middle of the human family. Becauseof this, protection must remain at an all time high and even more so for couples who becomeinvolved in ministry. When this is done, it will leave a positive effect on everyone, especiallythe children as they too develop the desire to follow the parent's example. As a couple, weneed to sow good things into the lives of our children (as the world is ever before them whichsow seeds of evil and despair).

B. Motivate them to become positive individuals

Positive is my word of choice when I describe a life of faith that is not easily churned bycircumstances. To me a positive person is someone that has learned to speak the Word of Godonly. The opposite of positive is negative.

Parents, I admonish you to teach your children to be positive. Meet with them and teach themthe message of truth so that they may learn to see all things with eyes of faith.

C. Teach them integrity

Children are formed and trained from a very young age. When Paul wrote Titus 2:7, heaffirmed, "In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching showintegrity, seriousness..." (NIV) For instance, teach them to be considerate of the emotions ofothers; they should never play with someone's feelings. Teach them that betrayal towards hisor her friends is showing lack of integrity also. The primary example comes from the family

itself because you are to be examples for your children.

D. Help them in the spiritual area

Just as we must feed our physical body, our spiritual being must be nourished also. Spiritualnourishment comes from the study of God's Word and our ongoing life of prayer. Each one ofmy daughters has developed the habit of having time of intimacy with God daily. They also

journalize all the teachings they receive through His Word. Their commitment with the Lord isto first feed their spiritual life and then feed their physical bodies. I recommend that you meetwith your family daily, for at least fifteen minutes, and share something from the scripture.

This habit will bring strong unity in the family.

E. Motivate them to have a surmounting spirit

A crisis plaguing our society today is the fact that we are overly saturated with informationthat has diminished the human spirit. Conquest has been replaced with a spirit of conformityand mere subsistence. We don't want that for our children, so let's motivate them to influencethat sphere of society, in which they are involved with, the example of their Christian living.

This world is in a desperate search for stability within the family, not another electricalappliance or a faster vehicle. We know that people will only find what they need through JesusChrist. So let's encourage our children to be ambassadors of Christ at work or in school.

F. Help them have a balanced self image

Parents should help each one of their children with their self-esteem, keeping in mind theirown struggles with self-acceptance at one time or another:


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Speak words of blessing to them each day - Honor them for their accomplishments

Do not embarrass them when things don't go as planned

Help them to see adversity as small steps toward making those better people

Help them to see that they are God's special treasures

Help each one of your children to have a proper self-image

G. Help them follow the rules

Help them to have discipline and maintain rules. Teach them to keep a schedule foreverything including their personal lives, their studies, personal commitments (that they needto keep) fulfilling their ministry, and one for their daily relationship with God.

H. Teach them how to relate to others

Have you noticed that many young people don't greet others? Teach them to be courteoustoward other people, their friends, cousins and anyone outside of their norm. Teach them tospeak and express themselves properly, not using street vernacular. Teach them also to dressproperly. And as for their self-education, teach them to be good readers, especially of booksdealing with faith and success.


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IV. Responsibilities the Parents Must Share

A. Communication with your children

Another societal problem facing us today is that technology has brought virtual friends intoour households, putting distance between family members. This means that parents andchildren must make an effort to re-build bridges of communication, bringing more closeness,as they lay aside the things that serve as obstacles to better communication.

Set time aside each day: Children don't ask for much, just to know that they matter. If youstart with at least fifteen minutes, this would be great progress.

Dialogue with them: Avoid raising your voice, blaming, making fun, or complaining, etc. Leteverything you speak be positive, conveying faith and motivation for them.

Create a good atmosphere for communication: If someone is offended and no one has askedfor forgiveness, it can make the atmosphere very tense. It is imperative to have all pastwounds healed and all resentment put aside.

Have recreational activities that involve all the children keeping in mind their individual agedifferences.

Keep them involved in important family decisions.

Treat them like you treat your own friends.

Make them feel like they are the most important people in your life.

V. The Children's Role

A person's success depends upon how they treat their own parents; if they despise, hurt or cursethem, their days will be shortened. If they bless and honor them, their days will be prolonged.

A. Honor your parents - Ephesians 6:1-3

Honoring your parents is a divine command that brings a double promise with it:

1. It will go well with you in all that you do.

2. Your life will be prolonged.

B. Be obedient to them - Ephesians 6:1

C. Listen to their counsel and teaching - Proverbs 1:8

D. Bring joy to their lives - Proverbs 10:1

E. Care for them when they are old - Proverb 23:22

F. Declare over them in the form of blessing, that their understanding will be clearand their lives will shine - Proverbs 20:20,

Conclusion

There must be an understanding that God's purpose is to establish priestly families and that eachfamily member is to make the effort to evoke the presence of God in their homes so that God's Spiritcan keep our families in harmony.

Evaluation


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The class can be tested in the form of a quiz or section test. But the important thing to look for is achange of attitude from the students with regards to their own families (this is something that onlythey can accomplish). While preparing the lesson, pray to God that He will produce a change in thelives of each one of your students.

Recommended methodology

A question and answer session is important while paying particular attention to questions reflectingon the attitudes of the students.

Students Assignment

Make a table or chart specifying roles for each family member with the purpose of identifying wrongattitudes and praying that God would change your family. This is an important project for the teacherto effectively identify the specific problems in the families of the students.

Application

During the week you are going to pray for each one of your family members and you are going tobless them, taking authority so that each one may fulfill their proper roles in the family.


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Questionnaire for Further Study

1. What should be the heart of a Father?_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2. Fill in the following chart:

Characteristics of Fathers Bible Reference Explanation

a. _____________________________ __________________________________________________________

b. _____________________________ __________________________________________________________

c. _____________________________ __________________________________________________________

d. _____________________________ _____________________________

_____________________________

e. _____________________________ __________________________________________________________

3. What should the heart of a mother be?_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

4. What are the characteristics of a virtuous woman according to Proverbs 31?__________________________________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

5. What is the seed I need to sow into my family?

a. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

b. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

c. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

d. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

e. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

f. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

6. What responsibilities do parents share?__________________________________________________________________________________________________


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_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

7. How should children honor their parents?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

8. For meditation:

a. Before knowing Jesus, how was your relationship with your father, mother and brothers andsisters, how has it changed?

b. If your relationship with any of the members of your family is not right, ask God to give you anattitude of forgiveness in your heart that you may be able to restore that relationship.


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Lesson 3: Protecting Self-esteem

Teaching Objectives

To bring about a change of attitude in the students as they identify the types of emotional problemsaffecting them.

Student Objectives

1. To identify the emotional problems in the students life caused by the family.

2. To determine the steps necessary to change those conditions.

Biblical Foundational Reference

Isaiah 53:4-5


1 Corinthians 2:9

Galatians 3:13

Matthew 23:9

Matthew 11:28

Lamentations 5:7

Luke 15:17 -19

2 Samuel 9:6-8

2 Samuel 4:4Luke 15:20-25

1 Samuel 15: 17,24

John 10:10

John 14:6

Joel 2:25

Isaiah 54:4-17

Exodus 20:5

1 John 4:182 Corinthians 2:14

Key Verse

Psalm 147:3

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.


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Purpose

The Lord made a great exchange on the cross of Calvary: He took all of our evil and gave us all of Hisgood. What would you think if you saw a man bring in and old, beat up car to a dealership, asking totrade it in; and the manager replies, "No problem, just give me your old car and I will give you abrand new one." Let's say that you are that person and he gives you a new Mercedes Benz and saysthat you don't owe him anything but to sign on the dotted line making the car yours! In a similarway, this is what Jesus did on the cross. He took our life of sin, completely destroyed by evil, where

no matter what medicine we took, nothing was able to solve our emotional, spiritual and physicalailments (Isaiah 1:6). We knew we needed a complete transformation.

That's when we decided to come to Jesus saying, "Lord, here's my life, I want to trade it in." Jesusreplied, "No problem, bring your life with the good and the bad, and do away with it at the cross."

If you can understand the power of the cross, your life will never be the same. Jesus redeemed usfrom the curse, destroying it (the curse) completely on the cross of Calvary.

In Deuteronomy 28:15-68, you will find 53 verses that speak of the effects of the curse that comeupon those who do not obey the voice of God, who do not keep and do His commandments. On theother hand Paul taught that our redemption had been complete (Galatians 3:13).


I. Overcoming Emotional Problems

First, define what the emotions are because that will make it easier to identify any problems.Then minister to them. Sadly, those who say that they love us, have caused the deepest wounds.

Children are an extension of their parent's characters. Their lives affect them in a positive or in anegative way. Jeremiah the prophet said it this way, "Our fathers sinned and are no more, and webear their punishment" (Lamentations 5:7). But God opened a new way through Jesus Christ sothat through Him the curse will be taken away and the blessing restored to our lives, families andministries.

A. Self-esteem - 2 Samuel 9:6-8

Mephibosheth was the grandson of King Saul. Naturally, along with this came all the privilegesafforded to the high society families in Israel. But adversity touched all the members ofthe king's family. Within just one day, he lost his father and grandfather. When his nannyreceived the bad news, in her panic she hurried to run away, but ended up dropping little five-year-old Mephibosheth leaving him crippled as a result. (2 Samuel 4: 4). Because of all theadversity that he went through in his childhood, he let many negative thoughts enter into hismind set and a herded his personality. When the king offered to restore to him, all theprivileges and rights of a prince, it was difficult for him to understand. He considered himselfan undesirable person. He was accustomed to people rejecting him and running away fromhim.

That is why he used the example of a dead dog, when describing himself, because was aperfect example of repulsion.

David is a type of Christ and Mephibosheth represents the afflicted person. The words of theking represent the offer Jesus makes to each one of us:

He encouraged him to not be afraid. "Do not fear" (2 Samuel 9:7). Mephibosheth hadinherited not only his grandfather's fear but also his inferiority complex (1 Samuel 15:17,24).Fear is more than just a feeling, it is a demonic spirit whose sole purpose is to kill, steal anddestroy (John 10:10). It was written in God's law that God visits the iniquity of the fathers onthe children, to the third and the fourth generations of those who hate Him [Exodus 20:5).

John said, "Perfect love casts out all fear" [1 John 4:181. If the son makes you free, you arefree indeed (John 8:36).


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He offers His grace, "For I will surely show kindness to you..." (2 Sam 9:7). Grace is theunmerited favor of God toward each of us. It is not a reward for something good that we mayhave done. Grace brings dignity and brings elevation into people's lives; it also brings thefamily unit to life and causes God's blessings to become manifest in each one (Romans 5:8,

John 3:16). If God is for us, who can be against us? (Romans 8:31).

He restores material blessings: "I will restore to you all the land,.." (2 Samuel 9:7). In otherwords, God will restore to you everything the enemy took, because of your faith. In just one

day, this man's whole life changed. He went from a life of scarcity and poverty to a life ofabundance. When the favor of God reaches our lives, He restores us and pours out richblessings upon our lives. Like the prophecy of Joel 2:25-26, "Then I will make up to you for theyears that the swarming locust has eaten, the creeping locust, the stripping locust and thegnawing locust, my great army which I sent among you. You will have plenty to eat and besatisfied and praise the name of the LORD your God, who has dealt wondrously with you; thenmy people, will never be put to shame." (NASU).

Paul said, "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has preparedfor those who love him"(1 Corinthians 2:2-10)

"You shall eat at my table" (2 Samuel 9:7). Not having anything to be ashamed of and beingable to share all of your desires with Him is one of the greatest privileges anyone could have.

This is what God has made available to any one of us who believes. All those who were invited

to eat at the king's table had to sit with him each morning so that the king would see theirfaces. If someone was not present, it was due to some illness or tragic circumstance. What is"the table?" It is when we enter into the intimacy of prayer with Him. At His table we hear thevoice of God speaking, full of promises that are within our reach, they are ours now and weaccept them by saying "amen," Paul said, "But thanks be to God, who always leads us intriumph in Christ" (2 Corinthians 2:14).

B. The child always turns to the Father - Luke 15:17-19

In this story, the son represents how separated our lives are from the Father God. We misuseour spiritual blessings continually and each day that we remain apart from Him, our stateworsens. The steps the son eventually walked out, exemplifies how we need to seek spiritualrestoration:

He came to his senses: He stopped in his tracks and reconsidered the foolishness he wascommitting.

He made a decision: He had the courage to seek a second chance.

He had a repentant heart: He didn't even seek the privileges he once had but wanted tobe received, at least, as a servant.

C. The father restores the son - Luke 15:20-24

v.21 The father accepts his son's confession.

v.22 He restores all of the son's rights and privileges.

v.23 He performed an act of redemption the fattened calf is a type of Christ,

v.24 The son goes from death to life, from a life of perdition to a fruitful one.

D. The restoration of the woman - Isaiah 54:1-17

God is as much a loving Father as He is an understanding husband. Before giving the womanwords of comfort, in the first two verses He offers some suggestions:

v.1 Shout for joy, because you will overcome barrenness.

v.2Project yourself because you will grow in accordance to your faith.


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v.3Promise: You will be enlarged greatly and conquer nations. God, as a loving father,brings the past to light to give us a better future.

v.4Fear brings confusion, outrage brings shame. God will heal your memories from theafflictions of your youth.

v.5Restoring your intimacy with God.

v.6Abandonment brings sadness, separation brings pain. v.7God will repay the time of affliction with great compassion.

v.8You will not know an angry God, but a deeply loving God that assures your eternalfuture.

v.12 He will fill your house with precious things and raise up a wall of protectionaround your family.

v.13 Your children will be taught of the Lord and there will be peace in your home.

v.14 God will keep you from oppression and fear. vs.17 No weapon that is formedagainst you will prosper.

v.17 No weapon that is formed against you will prosper.

E. Ministering to the students

The people in your class have probably never wanted to open up their hearts before God forfear of past memories. It could also be because they don't want their friends to know of thedifficulties they may have gone through, or because they have never had the opportunity toremember or confront their past. At this time, you both have the authority and responsibilityto minister to them. The following steps will help you to effectively minister to and guide eachone of the students in the class.

1. Prepare a proper atmosphere far ministry: There should be an atmosphere of prayer andspiritual reverence where the presence of God can come.

2. Minister God's fatherhood: Jesus said, "No one comes to the Father but through me" (John14:6)."Do not call anyone on earth your father; for One is your Father, He who is inheaven" (Matt.23:9). "In their entire affliction He was afflicted, and the angel of Hispresence saved them" (Isaiah 63:9).God is ready to restore His paternity towards each oneof His children. He wants to grant them what their own fathers have denied them and healevery wound caused by a soiled past.

3. Identify any emotional wound or trauma: The deepest wounds in a human being are theones in their emotions. They may not be in the fore-memory but in the subconscious. Onlythe Holy Spirit can bring the necessary revelation for effective ministry, but effort must bemade to make this happen. No doubt, confrontation will arise too. Do not avoid it!

4. Tell the student to:

a. Always maintain an attitude of forgiveness: Under stand that it is not a feeling, but adecision. Normally, we would do anything to see people pay for the harm they causedus. But these are just feelings of revenge that can hinder the development of ourpersonality. Everyone that harbors resentment is not in his proper mind and will not beable to be him self until he decides to forgive whole-heartedly.

b. Take all burdens to the cross: Imagine the cross as a giant magnet and all of youremotional baggage as small needles that get drawn to and completely absorbed bythe cross as you draw near. That's what Jesus does with each one of our wounds.

c. All of our problems can only be solved through the cross of Christ. Meditate on Jesus asHe hangs on the cross until you understand His death as your own death. When this


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happens, you will be able to say like Paul, "I have been crucified with Christ; and it isno longer I who live, but Christ lives in me" (Galatians 2:20).

d. Take whatever time is needed to bring each wound or trauma to the cross.

e. Express your feelings openly. Trauma is a mixture of frustrating feelings where manyquestions arise. Where was my father when this happened to me? Who is to blame forwhat happened to me? Will someone have to pay for it? Etc.? If you felt anger or

bitterness or hatred toward someone, now you have to express it. Or, if you blameyourself for it and say you will never forgive yourself for it, this is the time to do so,regardless.

f. Find a substitute: When Jesus saw the void that He was leaving in His mother's heart,He called John to take His place. This shows that substitution is just as powerful asforgiving the actual person.

g. Take each and every one of the arguments Gad is revealing and cancel them out onthe cross of Calvary.

h. Stand in your parent's place and confess their sins: Do it as if you had committed themyourself. This is essential to void generational curses.

i. Confess the Word: Every argument that you cancel should be backed by the Word of

God. Jesus did this when He defeated the adversary.

j. Speak a prayer of faith: Consecrate your life, from the moment you were conceived, byasking God to make that intimate moment of your conception holy. Bless your entiregestation period also. Confess that, when you were born, God's hands received youand that's why your life is secure in Him.

Note: The leader needs to know that the student is only getting started in the class andshould continue at home. In most cases, the healing continues and takes even more time.Each one should learn how to continue their self-deliverance, in the name of Jesus, so thateach day they get more revelations about bondages from the past that they needdeliverance from.

F. Taking every burden to the Lord

Now that we are Christians, we should freely speak with God about removing all those thingsthat hurt and affect us. His word bids us to "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden,and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28). God will always be ready to listen when we expressour burdens. Talk to the Lord about the things in your heart so that you will receive Hispromise: I will give you rest.

Conclusion

Make sure all students were ministered to because the strength of your leadership depends on howhealed their lives are.

Evaluation

The students' own testimonies will be your best evaluation of success. No one can give what he orshe has not received. Before someone can be used in the area of restoration, first they must havegone through it themselves.


Be clear and concise in order to take advantage of as much time as possible to minister to the group.


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Students Assignment

With paper and pencil, write down all the wounds you need to OVERCOME. In an act of faith, takethem to the cross, and then destroy the sheet of paper as a symbol that all those arguments havebeen cancelled

Application

From now on, the student knows what to do to heal his wounds. So, from this moment forward, eachtime they are wounded, they will forgive and take it to the cross.


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Questionnaire f or Further Study

1. What are emotions?_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2. What is the cause of our emotional problems?_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

3. What is self-esteem?_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

4. What does Jesus do when our self-esteem is not right?_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

5. When we make mistakes, we need to acknowledge them. What was the attitude of the son inLuke 15:17-19?

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

6. How did the father restore his son in Luke 15:2-32?_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

7. How does God restore the woman according to Isaiah 54?______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

8. What must I do to receive restoration for all areas of my life?_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


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Lesson 4: Seven Steps to a Successful Courtship

Teaching Objectives

The student should have an understanding that the value of courtship lies in the fact that it takes itsdirection from God Himself. This way the lives within the relationship are protected and set on the

path to fulfilling His purpose.

Student Objectives

1. Identify God's purpose for their emotional state.

2. Explain and discuss reasons why a single person should abstain from sexual intercourse untilmarriage.

3. Explain why they (the students) are God's masterpiece.


Mark 10:9

Proverbs 19:14


Psalm 119:105

2 Corinthians 6:14-15

1 John 4:1

Ecclesiastes 3:1

1 Corinthians 2:9

1 Corinthians 6:19

1 Corinthians 6:18

Romans 12:1

John 12:24

Proverbs 13:20

Romans 8:14

Purpose

In today's society, courtship is based on physical attraction. Nowadays, entering into an emotionalrelationship is pretty easy, but due to lack of maturity, young people are exposing themselves tobeing hurt emotionally.

In order to understand the proper relationship between a male and female, it is important tounderstand its inception. When Jesus answered a question about marriage, He said, "But from thebeginning of creation, God made them male and female" (Mark 10:6). In order to speak aboutrelationships or marriage, we need to start at the beginning the book of Genesis.


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We don't actually know how long after the creation of man God decided that it was not good for himto be alone and gave him a partner, a helper. The interesting question is who thought of giving him apartner first? Man or God? If we look closely, we can see, it was not Adam's initiative, but God's.

God made man for woman and woman for man and it is through this relationship that procreationbegins.


It is a blessing when a person finds their partner. Solomon said, "House and wealth are an inheritancefrom fathers, but a prudent wife is from the LORD." Proverbs 19:14

It is extremely important to marry in the will of God. This is the inheritance that God gives to thosewho trust in Him.

Our emotional life is like a treasure that God has given to each person and should be guarded like aprecious gem. We should be aware that there are many deceivers roaming throughout the worldseeking unwary victims to take advantage of. Paul identified them as, "weak women weighed downwith sins, led on by various impulses, always learning and never able to come to the knowledge ofthe truth." 2 Timothy 3:6-7

All of this can be avoided if we: Are obedient to God's word (Psalm 119:105).

Refuse to be unequally yoked (2 Corinthians 6:14-15).

Test the spirits (1 John 4:1).

Know how to wait for God's timing (Ecclesiastes 3:1).

I. Believe in Gods purpose for your life

When it comes to you, Gods child, His thoughts are only good. None are bad at all. Unfortunately,within society, humans are faced with wanting all the divine benefits without taking God into

account. This is why relationships go awry.

In making decision for God, He will open your spiritual eyes to see the blessing God has alreadyprepared for you.

Things which eye has not seen and ear not heardGod has prepared for those who love him. (1Corinthians 2:9).

Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He will do it. Psalm 37:5

II. Commit your body completely to God

You are the temple of God. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is

in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; (1 Corinthians 6:19)We need to understand that God gave us the privilege of being spiritual persons with physicalbodies. When we decide to consecrate our bodies to the Spirit of God, He will keep us frommaking many mistakes.

Remember your creator in the days of your youth (Ecclesiastes 12:1).

Do you not know your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit? (1 Corinthians 6:19).

If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him; for God's temple is sacred, and you arethat temple (1 Corinthians 3:16-17).


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He that commits fornication sins against his own body (1 Corinthians 6:18).

Therefore I urge you, brethren...to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptableto God (Romans 12:1).

III. Be prepared for death and resurrection

Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears muchfruit (John 12:24).

When meeting with people of the opposite sex, we should be keenly aware of the strong feelingsthat may arise. It is at this point that things often begin to go wrong because the focus is on thebeauty of the person and not on God's will. The first question that should come to mind is "whatis the will of God for this relationship?"

My advice is this: Take the time to pray and fast about this matter in your prayer time. If it isfound that this person has been sent from the enemy to entrap you, renounce the personimmediately. However, if God is for the relationship, pray that He affirms it.

IV. Cultivate good friendships

Surround yourself with wise people. (Proverbs 13:20)

What I have found to be true is that people make commitments within the circles of their society,the environment in which they make their home life. For example, if you spend a lot of time withnon-Christians you are setting a trap for your soul in that, after awhile, you too will begin to actout of the same emotions that they act out of.

Daniel is a good example. He had three friends:

Hananiah God is merciful.

Mishael Who is like God.

Azariah the Lord is my help.

These three friends of Daniel were his support when the king was thinking about killing all thewise men of Babylon.

We should choose our friends carefully without the influence of others, When I was just a newChristian, I purposed in my heart that a person who was not a friend of Gods, could not be afriend of mine.

V. Recognize your worth

You are Gods Masterpiece. (Ephesians 2:10)

Envision an imaginary line. Label it self-esteem. If you are even 5lo below this line, you have low

self-esteem. If are 5/o above the line, you have high self-esteem. Neither of the two is goodbecause they can interfere with decisions you make in life. A person with low self-esteem will tryto identify with someone of equal or lesser self-esteem. A person with high self-esteem will try tosustain an image that they don't truly possess and because of this they can miss manyopportunities in life. When they accept themselves for who they are, they won't allow anyone to

judge them in any capacity: Not by their appearance, their weight nor their education. They walkwith sureness that there is no one else on the earth like them. They have no doubt that among allof creation they are a work of art the God is most proud of.


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VI. Be prepared to wait

God has His time. (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

"Then I passed by you and saw you, and behold, you were at the time for love" (Ezekiel 16: 8).

Romantic love has its proper time. There is a time for a person to get emotionally involved withsomeone of the opposite sex, nonetheless, it is important that every young person understandsthe normalcy of this stage and not attempt to hurry it or postpone it for too long.

Never allow anxiety or eagerness to have its way because it can lead you to make regretfuldecisions.

VII. Sensitive to the guidance of the Holy Spirit

Be led by the Spirit of God. (Romans 8:14)

God in heaven has set up an appointment for you to meet the person who will be your spouse forlife. If the Spirit of God leads you it will be easy, you will not miss that appointment. Even thoughthe Lord already has the partner that you need, you still need to enter into a covenant of holinesswith the Lord and declare, "Lord, I don't want to get emotionally involved with any unbeliever. Iwill not allow any secret or hidden relationships. However, I will do everything with decency and

with order. I will abstain from any sexual intercourse until the day I get married".

Conclusion

The first step that every believer must take in life is that of seeking God's perfect will. Why? BecauseGod knows what's BEST AND His will is good, acceptable and perfect. You must decide to follow theseseven principles in order to have a successful courtship. For those who are fathers of families evennow, teach your children this truth.

Application

Discuss each of the points learned in class and make them a part of your personal life and family.Tell the students that if they have failed to follow any of these steps they can repent, ask the Lord forforgiveness and start a new.

Evaluation

The class will be evaluated during a workshop.


Break off into seven work groups. Discuss each one of the principles and later make a presentation to

the whole class.

Students Assignment

Make a chart comparing these seven principles, established by the Lord, and your personal life.


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Questionnaire for Further Study

1. According to Mark 10:9, what is God's purpose for your life emotionally?_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2. List four ways to avoid getting involved in relationships that are not God's will. Add thecorresponding scriptural reference:

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

3. Examine your own life and find biblical support concerning the following issues:_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

4. What expectations do you have for your spouse?_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

5. Are they the same as the Lord's?______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

6. Who do you spend most of your time with?_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

7. Who are you in Christ?______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

8. What kind of attitudes show respect for your body?_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


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Lesson 5: Strengthening Communication in the Family

Teaching Objectives

a. The student should understand what communication means and the importance of being a goodcommunicator.

b. To help our students become excellent communicators; first towards God, then in their family andlater with their disciples.

Student Objectives

1. Define what communication means.

2. Explain the elements of communication.

3. Identify what destroys communication.


Luke 6:45


Ephesians 5:25

Matthew 12:35-38

Colossians 4:6

James 3:2

James 2:14-17

Matthew 22:28-31

2 Corinthians 11:23,27

2 Timothy 2:4-6

Numbers 13:31-33

Acts 10:34

Proverbs 15

Ecclesiastes 3:1

Proverbs 16

Key Verse

Matthew 12:37

For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned."

Purpose


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One year we were about to begin our annual convention in Bogot. The opening day I found myselfbeing upset with my wife. A situation cropped up between us and caused us to become at odds withone another. Our point of views went in completely opposite directions. Even though we discussedthis sensitive issue, we could not come to an amiable resolution. With that, I chose the easy way out.I chose to ignore her, not taking her into account on any level.

The meeting began as usual with me greeting the people. Right after a guest saxophonist completedhis repertoire, I introduced my wife so that she could address her portion of the meeting. To my

embarrassment, the first words out of her mouth were, 'dear friends, today my husband and I had anargument'. The unexpected shock of those words almost knocked me over! She continued `but whilethe music was playing, God gave me the prophetic interpretation.

He said, My daughter, I permitted what you went through today with your husband. In the same wayyou were hurt by his indifference, it is the same insensitivity that my own children show me byallowing days, weeks and even months to go by without any type of communication with the HolySpirit. I want to restore that relationship starting today', After my wife shared that word, atremendous breaking came upon the audience of eighteen thousand and in the midst of tears, theyasked God for forgiveness for their indifference toward Him.

They even yielded to a time of restoration between the family members. That entire opening dayended up being filled with a supernatural move of God. It led me to understand that the basis forexcellent communication starts with cultivating a close relationship with the Spirit of God.


I. Definition

Communicate: Give or exchange ideas, feelings, information or such things in writing, speaking orby way of signs, symbols, etc. This process can be described as verbal or non verbalcommunication. At any rate, it is a means of sharing information with another person where oneperson comes to understand what the other person expresses. Parts of communication includespeaking, listening and understanding.

A. Moving towards better communication

Even though we are living in the age of communication, the number one problem in mosthomes is lack of excellent communication. There is nothing more tragic than experiencing thedeterioration of your relationship with your spouse and not being able salvage it. The biblehas within it the answer that we need to recover our lost values and have excellentcommunication. It is readily available to all of us.

Watch out for confusion. Solomon said, wisdom will build your home. There is an urgent needfor good communication within the heart of the family. Without it, it is impossible to build agood home. The tower of Babel was left unfinished and deserted because no one was able tounderstand his fellow man. I can imagine the moment: the architect has an idea, he expressesit, but his words are in a language that no one around understands. The engineer presumes tohave understood the idea but when he expresses his thoughts; all the rest of the workersbecame discouraged and abandon their work.

B. Actions

James 2:14-17. Faith without works is dead.

Matthew 21:28-31. Obedience is what pleases God.

2 Corinthians 11:23,27. The seal of Paul's apostleship was earned through hard work.

2 Timothy 2:4-6. Paul used three examples: the soldier, the athlete and a hard working farmer.What gives honor to them is how they perform their jobs.

In a conversation, actions represent 37% of what is said.


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C. Attitudes

Numbers 13:31-33. Because of their unbelieving attitude, ten of the twelve spies gave badreports and a whole generation was lost and died in the wilderness.

Numbers 13:30. Caleb and Joshua had a different spirit and therefore a different attitude forwhich God rewarded them. They were permitted to enter the Promised Land.

Out of anger, Moses beat the rock that God commanded him to speak to. Because of this

outburst of anger (angry attitude), he was not able to enter Canaan.

D. The power of words

The worst insults are generally made in moments of anger or desperation. We know that themouth speaks from the abundance of the heart (Luke 6:45). Our words either dignify us or putus to shame. Sometimes men forget that women are fragile vessels and the easiest way todestroy them is through offensive, demeaning words, words that prompt humiliation orviolence. Nevertheless, Jesus taught us the correct way to treat our wives: Ephesians 5:25says, "Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church."

The relationship between Christ and the church be-came a great example of what a properrelationship should be.

Jesus always expressed words of love and hope towards each one of His disciples.He spoke words of protection: "Fear not little flock, because it has pleased your father inheaven to give you the kingdom."

Your words determine the type of person you are, good or bad (Matthew 12:35).

Avoid trivial conversations that bear no fruit (Matthew 12:36). Your words will either save youor condemn you (Matthew 12:37). Your words should be motivating and joyous (Colossians4:6). Avoid offending with your words. In a conversation, these may be only 6% of your wordsbut they can and will become unforgettable (James 3:2).

These two passages speak much about words. First, they speak of having wisdom to addresseach person according to the circumstance at hand, and secondly they explain that webecome perfect when we don't hurt others with our words.

II. What can good communication build?

Those who have learned to relate well with people have also been able to penetrate society in aneffective way. Those type of people that are influential, affect the behavior of many.

It is imperative that the communicator be concise, clear, precise, and anointed.

The communicator should understand that the very method of his message is in directcompetition with television, movies and other means of graphic, entertaining presentations.

Therefore he must present his message with all the clarity that is possible! This is the reasonJesus spoke in parables, making his message so clear that the authors of the four gospels wrotetheir interpretation exactly alike.

A. Concise

It is not the quantity but the effectiveness of words that can transform lives. Jesus spoke a fewwords because He only wanted to speak what was necessary. Every word coming from His lipswas full of power to the extent that He was able to influence even the weather with the powerof His words.

Peter began preaching in Cornelius' house and had spoken far only a minute and a half whenthe Holy Spirit interrupted him and fell upon those who were listening. They were all filled withHis presence. Peter understood that the message he had preached was what they needed, forthe purpose of God to be fulfilled [Acts 10:33).


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Sadly, many good messages are ruined because preachers don't finish on time. It is better forpeople to wish you had spoken more instead of less.

B. Precise

Avoid getting off the subject and take advantage of every second God gives you to share withothers. It may be the only opportunity that you have. Discernment will give you an effectiveword that will supply the needs of those listening. Solomon said that it was good to speak the

right words at the correct time. Paul advised Timothy to know how to handle well the Word ofGod, as a soldier handling his weapons.

C. Anointed

The anointing comes as a result of our intimacy with God. It is our duty to bring down thepresence of God wherever we go because the eyes of God are upon the righteous of the earthand His ears are attentive to their cries. Every believer has the full backing of the angelichost. Jesus told His disciples that He cast out demons by the Spirit of God. He worked inharmony with the Father and everything He did was to bring the Kingdom of God to thepeople so that they

sol 1 seminar - family [teacher's guide]

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