Sonia 101

Mike: I've got some very, very good news for you, my friend.

Bill: Really?

Mike: I think your life is about to change.

Bill: So you found her?

Mike: Right here in Liberty City. And you were right, she's really something.

*Mike: When you know someone, it's like you're taking one long course in who that person is and then, when you move on, all that stuff becomes useless.

*(I felt these lines was awkward and could be taken out altogether. Plus he's being contradictory. Like-You may meet the girl of your dreams or it may not matter. It just feels awkward and is in between lines that go together. I feel it can be taken out. And just go right into whats next.)

Mike: Look, if you want her, you gotta try a little harder. Be more attentive. (Make sure it sinks in)

Mike: Welcome to Sonia 101.

Pause.

Mike: If you give me a few weeks of attention, I could give you a lifetime of happiness.

Bill: (Excited) Yeah, totally.

Mike: Listen to me. I spoke to a lot of her friends and relatives. I have lots of information on her.

Mike: Sonia is many things. Friend. Confidant. Singer. All around a nice girl. Birthday-July 2. Favorite sports team-The Brazilian football team.

Age-26, but tells people she's 23.She does charity on the weekends.

(It seems there is a gap here.)

Mike: She might say the first time you meet her, “I'm really into my career right now.”

Mike: You understand me? She's lying.

Mike: What she really means is, “Get away from me (for?) now.” Or possibly, “Try harder, stupid....”

Mike: Welcome back to Sonia 101 (I don't get the line. Are we acknowledging a commercial?)

Mike: My job is to open your eyes. Lesson one. (Due that there is no other numbered lessons I felt that could be skipped and the dialogue continued.)

Mike: Now even though she puts up a tough exterior, what Sonia really wants is someone who really understands her.

Mike: Top three Sonia facial expressions and their meaning. (There are not two others so maybe take that out)

Mike: Now notice the vacant eyes, the queasy expression, suggesting a bad feeling.

Bill: What do those vacant eyes mean?

Mike: This look suggests she has (a) cold. She's about to sneeze. If you ever get to know (her) and (she's) looking like this. Get some tissue paper (in?) quick.

Mike: The most important facial expression of all. Flared nostril ridges. Wide, unblinking eyes.

Bill: What do those eyes mean?

Mike: If you ever, ever see this face, run. And don't take a picture of it. She will punch you.Lesson4 (? This kinda makes a jump where you go, huh?) If you ever get to know her you need to know this. (This line feels unnecessary, also.)

Mike: (Now here are some) Topics to distract Sonia from being mad at you. Say this unless you want her to throw shoes at you.

One-I love the Brazilian football team. They are going to win the World Cup. She loves those guys.

Bill: I love them.

Mike: Two- Talk about animal planet or discovery channel. She loves them.

Bill: I love those channels.

Mike: Three- Whales. She loves them, too.

Bill: I love whales. I have so much in common with her.

Mike: Listen to what she is saying and respond. (Pause to let it sink in.) Listen and respond.

Mike: That way, when it's your turn to talk you'll have something better to say than, “I like your mouth.”

Mike: Lesson 3 (I feel the segwue could be worded different. Don't understand the numbers as they are not clear enough. But maybe that’s just me.)

Mike: (She is tricky, sometimes. Here's an example of) What she really means when she says something.

She doesn't say, “I like you,” like a normal person. Instead, she'll laugh, shake her head, give you a little smile and say: “You're an idiot.”

Bill: You're an idiot?

Mike: Yup. If she tells you you're an idiot you're a lucky man. And if she says, “I like you,” then she already has broken up with you in her mind.

Mike: Now Sonia's surprising fun places in NYC. She likes these five places in NYC. (no examples are given so I feel this line should be taken out unless pictures are shown through power point.)

Mike: Top three things never to do around Sonia. (Since there aren't three things I suggest saying something like “her little quirks” or “whats annoying about her.)

Mike: Unless you want to see it 80 times a day for the next month, never show Sonia a Youtube clip of an animal playing a musical instrument. Also never show this Youtube clip.

Mike: dancing.(?? I don't get that line.)

Mike: But if she asks you to dance you cannot say no. (???).

Bill: Im not worried about dancing.

Mike: Show me what you mean by you're not worried about it.

(I guess Bill starts to dance.)

Mike: (looks ill possibly) (Never) ever do that in front of her.

Bill: Just expressing myself.

Mike: You're not listening to a word I say. You are the worst student.

Bill: No I am not.

Mike: Pop quiz.

Mike: What (grunts)(I dont get that-I tried it audibly) When Sonia's sad, what kind of food should you get her? Trick question.

Bill: Get her butterscotch icecream.

Mike: Correct! Why?

Bill: Butterscotch is to her what chocolate is to other women.

Mike: What is Sonia's dream job?

Bill: To become a successful dancer/singer.

Mike: Correct! Now you are ready my friend. Go get her! (The end seemed rushed. He goes from worst student to graduate.)