sorry, not sorry€¦ · sorry, not sorry: kick the career‐crippling habit of reflexive...
TRANSCRIPT
2019 NACE Experience Conference July 14‐17, 2019
www.nace.net #NACEEXP19
SORRY, NOT SORRY:KICK THE CAREER‐CRIPPLING HABIT OF
REFLEXIVE APOLOGIZING
Janet Zaretsky
The BS‐to‐Brilliance Master Coach
Empowered Women [email protected] www.janetzaretsky.com
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2019 NACE Experience Conference July 14‐17, 2019
www.nace.net #NACEEXP19
Agenda
In today’s session, we will discuss:
How to take back our power, be our brilliant selves.
AND
Break out of the Apology Trap
Learning Objectives
During this session, attendees will learn to:1. Discover the 5 Automatic Apologizing and
Minimizing Habits that cripple your career
2. Take powerful action in the face of the fear of conflict or ‘not being liked’ reaction
3. Create an alternative language that has you own your power and magnify your brilliance
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2019 NACE Experience Conference July 14‐17, 2019
www.nace.net #NACEEXP19
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2019 NACE Experience Conference July 14‐17, 2019
www.nace.net #NACEEXP19
REFLEXIVE OVER-APOLOGIZING COSTS YOU
Microsoft Study:
8 seconds to get someone’s attention.
Apologize, be apologetic= lose your opportunity to be heard
Studies show that over‐apologizers = you are weak, submissive, easy to pass over, ignore or manipulate
• Being an influencer
• Having your voice heard
• Money/salary/fees
• Relationships
• Getting what you want
• Respect, including respecting yourself
• Reputation
• Satisfaction and fulfillment
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2019 NACE Experience Conference July 14‐17, 2019
www.nace.net #NACEEXP19
Brain response to perceived threat
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2019 NACE Experience Conference July 14‐17, 2019
www.nace.net #NACEEXP19
APOLOGETIC WAYS OF BEING & SAYINGS WHICH UNDERMINE CONFIDENCE
Instead: Say what you want to say, with no apology
Speak up without concern for backlash
Honor yourself as valuable
Know you are important and matter
Be direct and know you can
deal with any conversation
• Just
• If you don’t mind
• Well, it is just my opinion
• This may not be right, but
• Can I say something here?
• Body language
• Vocal tone
• Lilt at the end of statement turns a
statement into a question
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2019 NACE Experience Conference July 14‐17, 2019
www.nace.net #NACEEXP19
I’m not sure, but, if you don’t mind…
I AM CONFIDENT THAT…
Do you think it would be possible to….
I SUGGEST THAT WE DO…
I actually think this might be right…
HERE IS THE WAY TO APPROACH THIS…
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2019 NACE Experience Conference July 14‐17, 2019
www.nace.net #NACEEXP19
Keys to:
Owning Your Power
Magnifying Your Brilliance
Being the Powerhouse You Really Are
Give up Reflexive Apologizing and
Apologetic Ways of Being and
Be Brilliant Boldly You!
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2019 NACE Experience Conference July 14‐17, 2019
www.nace.net #NACEEXP19
QUICK TIPS FOR BEING BOLD:
I’M CONFIDENT & I’M NOT SORRY TIPS
&UNAPOLOGETIC POWERHOUSE MANIFESTO
Q&AContinue the conversation!
Follow @NACENational, use hashtag #NACEEXP19
www.nace.net
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2019 NACE Experience Conference July 14‐17, 2019
www.nace.net #NACEEXP19
Thank you for attending!
Please complete the session survey,
we greatly value your feedback.
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