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soulwork in the woods

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soulwork in the woods

SIGNPOSTS FROM A HERO´S JOURNEY 1999 - 2007

OTHER POEMS 2007

Dag Furuholmen

PHOTOGRAPHY: DAG FURUHOLMEN

FOREWORD

The title ”Soulwork in the Woods” in a literal sense stems from the fact that

Colorado National park. Since the autumn of 1999, when I star ted out as a student in The Ridhwan School, I have spent a lot of time in these woods.

-enced my personal spiritual journey. “Signposts from a Hero’s Journey” has a literal meaning in the sense that these poems are expressions from essential states or important crossroads, and has helped me penetrate and remember my journey. Each poem is a signpost from

pearl, the essence of his own being, and how he got lost on his way getting caught in the web of his ego and the splendour of the external world. Everyone that has been on this kind of journey knows something about this and also about the pain and endurance it takes to keep searching . I dedicate this book to my teachers in the Ridhwan school, Rennie Moran, Linda Krier, and John Davis, who have guided me with so much heart and hard work.I want to thank my wife Liv Evjan for her editing work, my son Eirik Evjan Furu-holmen for making such a beautiful cover and my friend Ted Usatynski for his enthusiasm and comments, and for correcting my spelling. I also want to thank Robert Bly for teaching me that poetry is soulwork, and for his generosity to read

-spiration to experiment and play with my writing.

Nesodden, Norway. February 2008

SIGNPOSTS FROM A HERO`S JOURNEY

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SOULWORK IN THE WOODS

Walking the pathin rocky woodsLife stirringamong fallen logs

SUPEREGO 1

between wrong and rightbetween black and white

Discussions in my roomon compassion or doom

Am I the watcher?or am I the room?

-And who is discussing?

10

EGO

I could perceive them todaythose silvery threadsof shimmering thoughtsrunning through my space

Like rubbery stringssinging songs of dreadas they color my day

SOUL FOOD

Eating painand chasing ghoststhat marks the realms of childhood

That bitter foodfor searching souls

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RESTLESSNESS

Like children we yearnfor that peaceful milk

Stilling ourselves with pleasurestaking us further away

EGO II – THE PAIN OF PROTECTION

The pain of longinghas left me this armor

Its steel and its leatherstill colors my mornings with dread

UNITY – FROM AN UNBELIEVER

Standing tremblingin unity with the tribeI hear the rainpouring downinside me

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DREAMING

Waking from the dreamwith a wild breathHeart yearning for that sweet unionboundaries melting

DIGNITY

See the boyhow he needs consolationSerenity shamedand powers belittled

Comfort was givenin due time for grown upsWhen anger’s forgottenannoyance forgiven

Connecting the well

Awaking the soilsoftened by mourning

Then dignity bloomson the rock of the mountainSoft on the ground

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SOULWORK IN THE WOODS III

Nature, not like Disney moviesfriendly beasts that talkAwesome force and brutal beautyface me as I walk

between the swaying treesTrunks so potent, rocky surfacesing their song to me

FATHER LOVE

No longer striving to be liked by himI let go of tryingand settle like a mountain

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FATHER LOVE II

I brought home that wishfor recognition and valueLet it sproutin my heart

FATHER LOVE III

Crying my heart out, wailing for helpThat big father hand camefrom an unknown placeScaring my mindand soothing my soul

Then through the tears, scared of loosing its holdNot a believer, not deserving this goldI was helped to bemy original minda mysterious space, feeling friendly and calm

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LEAVING FOR HOME

My chest is tightthe heart door’s closedwith anxiousness like clawsOld runes calldo not expandjust stay here, like you’re told

Then nauseated, torn betweenthe stay! – and let me go!I open up to what is realInvasion has to go

with starry nightas mystery unfoldsA lightness sweepslike sun bright morn’and laughter wakes my heart

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THE DEAL – MOTHER LOVE

Give her your life and your sweetnessthat her powers can soar unrestrainedShe will pay you with crumbs from her tableand tell you, you are the preferred

You witness her crushing the fatherwho’s love you must yearn for in vainNow you are her puppet and playmatea prince without king, without aim

You believed in your princely powersyour charm and your wit in the gameBut you only had what she gave youas long as you stayed in her chain

THE UNDOING OF THE DEAL

Responsibilities weight on his shouldersalmost crushing the legs of the boyLocked in the cage of his mothertrying to care for her soul

Retaliation and guilt were the powersthat kept those commandments in placeNow unleash the red and the hatredLet them splinter that cage

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THE SMOOTH ADVISER – SUPEREGO II

If you would onlyit said

Follow my scheme, - andshow them your graceyour kindness andheart for the lonelyYour strength against evilit said

And do show them your wisdom!You will feel pride thenwith their admirationYou will have value thenit said

If you would only

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SECRET DOORWAY II

The princely armorso smooth and so charmingwith chest plates of clay

It’s inside that bruiseswith hatred and angeris aiming the spearswhen charm is in vain

I hear the depth callingbeneath that hard armorbut the prince as a guardian still serves me so well

“You’ll have to leave nowI need you no longerno more a boy child I yearn for the well”

So I enter the deep thenthe doorway is openedin the vastness of spaceI am grieving the loss

He’s been seen at the borderswhile he whispered his servicebut was stopped by the guardtold to leave once again

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SHERE KHAN

Shere Khan, the beastawakened in my soul

Sensing his powerswatching his fangs

Caressing me softlyfeeding my heart

WAKING UP II

Suddenly, waking upnot chasing the minds pointersThe restless shouldsand over theresJust arriving every momentat the perfect spotoutside time

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THE BEAST

Feeling like a beast nowhiding in his shameHis eyes betraying hatredtheir gazes causing pain

That loneliest of spacesin midst of others joyThat vulnerable smallnessno voice to help him call

And no one seems to noticeno one seems to knowHis secret pain stays hiddenthe heart stays crushed below

FATHER LOVE IV

Finally I enteredthat black spot of my heartHis coldness and his hatredbroke loose then from that dark

until I nearly drownedMy sense of value brokenaround his poisoned heart

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MOTHER LOVE II

Running towards his loved onejoyous heart andarms up highhis little body, like a smile

Then, that angry lookthat tone of voicethat stops him dead

His heart feels crushedfor loss of lovedespair and doubthe must be wrong

So watch him nowhis doubtful mindwith careful stepsand shameful eyesHis value still on trial

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THE PEARL

Back through timemy chest collapsedto shield the heartfrom damage

A wall of rockagainst the worldthat left the sourceforgotten

Then waking upthat deadened painmy room insideexpanding

It opened uptowards the worldlike furnace heatred gloving

When cooling down that open spacewas giving birthto new life

I watched in awethat pearly whiteso tender softappearing

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EVENING SPRING WALK

Crisp sparkling lightand tender greensmake spring againon darkened wood

That chilly moistthat calls life backamong old logsand last years grass

Like arms of blackthe branches callto rosy skiesfor life and growth

LOST MISSION

The moon seems so closeand the stars so smallfrom this faraway watching place

What is my mission?I easy forgetjust to witness it alland rejoice?

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SPRING LOVE

My heart’s in lovewith every grainof life and springout there

It’s open pulseon playful movefeels dizzyis this real

The wall has gone

a stranger

Intense and brightmy presence feelslike burstinginto light

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MOUNTAIN VIEW

an expression of who you areTo help you remember your greatnessand to make you feel more at one

You are carefully choosing your itemsyou are picking them one by oneTheir color and texture reminds youbut soon their importance is gone

that is even more right than the lastSo that no one around you may wonderbut will believe in the image you cast

You are observing the feel of your actionsand choosing your words with care

so you don’t loose the grip on your shell

Sitting in silence you wonderwhen the view from the mountain appearThis silent and spacious groundingnot in need of assistance to be

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THE GENIUS – SUPEREGO IV

The Watcher from the distance will set your feeling modeand measure your performanceaccording to the laws

With promises of prideand teasers showing famewith humble rules of knighthoodand shunning personal gain

You sense the whip from distancea reminder of her ragea cold condemning hatredno interest in your faith

You whip the stupid otherswho’re bragging out of vainyou watch its work in action and keep yourself in line

Do make your mother happybestow her with your calmbe her little genius admired by the crowd

Presented like a statuea beauty on a blockexposing his credentialsa hero without pride

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AT HOME IN THE NARROW

I believed in the narrowI felt home in the tenseI had forgotten my birthrightthat lively zest

That fullness of breathso slowly regainedand the softness of rest

THE FULL MOON

The full moon’s revealingthe land in the darkThe clouds slowly driftingconceals it with night

A watchful forget nessis hiding my homeI slowly move closerwhen there’s light on my road

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THE LOSS OF IDEAL

Inside the mana boy is still yearningTo feel the delight of fatherly strength

The size of a Kingthat can rule in the heavensCould make him feel safeand complete once again

He searches his world

Abandons his strengthnot to loose their support

And again disappointedhe might look for a new one

the depth of his hole

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AUTUMN DAY

Nature’s changed its colours now

Amongst the paling mountain grassand branches put to rest

Evergreens in silent wait’for the autumns end

as snowfall once again

Cold and clear the winds expandput the mind at ease

Bluish mountains in the distanceeverlasting ageStanding still beneath the heavens

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UNKNOWN GROUND

I lost my face to day

What was that forcethat opened upand pushed its waytowards the front

I lost myselfto another groundwhere silence stirredin unknown calm

In background stillthe mind distressedit could not knowit would not rest

When nothing movedI was at one

no longer looked upon

Time had goneno aim or goalI was Gods faceto witness all

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ENJOYING THE RIDE

The universeis playing games todayLaughter is on tumble saleand sunshine’s in my head

The doors are opensomething’s lostIdentity with all its costAnd wind is in my hair

Happy sevenage has leftBut I’m still here wondering

Now the moon is risingbig like a pieThe universe is playing gamesand I enjoy the ride

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SOULWORK IN THE WOODS IV

Walking in the Rockiessoaring like a birdwondering who’s the walkerlends my feet such speed

I try to grasp his nature

all I hear is laughterand joy I can’t explain

THE OBSERVER

The clouds they moveso light and swiftacross the moon and starsI stand below and watch I awethe beauty of it all

The moon’s so fullthe clouds so whitewhere does it all leave meI’m standing here far down belowwondering who to be

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COMMUNION – SECRET DOORWAY III

The heart door was closedthe space outside takenBy mother who claimedher life was forsaken

Joy was spiteto her life of frustrationHe witnessed in fearhis fathers’ castration

The guardian was anxioushe sent out his warningsYou will be too muchyou’ll be shamed for your longing

But the ice kept on thinningtill water lay open

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INSECURE – MOTHER LOVE III

Do not ask all these questionsDo not dare to look closeJust stay in the dizzyNo sharpness of thought

Or anger will haunt youAnd blow you awayYour ground will desert youAnd leave you in pain

So tense up your bodyYour legs and your fearAct strong and be charmingTo hold her at bay

You try to forgetBut you still hear her sayI am your groundYou’re my foe or my pray

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JOYOUS HEART

of late DecemberIcy coldand sunny bright

Packed in dunesof snowy crystals

of low light

Cheeks are coldand chest is hotFrom skiingendless mountain slopes

Snow is speakingsounds of drynessBelow skis and moving poles

Surrounded bythis silent vastIt opens upmy joyous heart

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TRAVELING LIGHT

Lightness is a magicI invite into my lifeI feel it in my movementsI feel it in my mind

I see it in the landscapeof snow and whitened pinesThe ranges in the distance

But heaviness is pullingan old template of my soulRage ‘gainst being helplessa shield ‘gainst feeling small

Heaviness invades meas a helper from the pastA make believe contraptionsupport against all bad

Then clouds that move like feathersacross the winter skyReminds me of the magicand pulls me back to life

A lightness that is deepa lightness that is vastIt speaks to my whole beingand frees me from the past

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BLESSING

The boat is moving slowlytowards the evening lightA golden peaceful glowwith winter all around

The wind moves like an artistand shapes the waters faceLight as soundless musicit dances without end

Surrounded by this lightnessthe dance of sea and skyI open to receivethis blessing for the night

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ABUNDANT LOVE

I found my love was buriedbeneath the veil of fearI’d lost the recognitionto me it felt like shame

I’d settled for the versionto merge when in the graceI made my luck by strivingto change my given face

Then seeing the delusionof judgment from withoutThe veil of fear recededand love reclaimed the heart

as love was settling inA sense of soft completenesswanting to be shared

This kingdom made of softnessstill feels like mountain groundNo neediness or worryfrom this abundant place

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SACRED NATURE

You sayI’m like one of those big cats

Killing when hungryenjoying his kingdomin the sun

Caring for his cubstill they’re grownenough

SACRED NATURE II

Witnessing the morning sunon that snowy rangeI remembered myselfan open hearttouched by beauty

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SACRED NATURE III

Remembering the Sourcethat giant streamtaking you away

You die with fearbut no regretsas you let go

WAITING FOR SPRING

Spring rain fallson my morning face

catch my sleepy state

They stop a whilemoistening the treesLet go and falllike little streams

It wakes me up on this foggy dayBranches budwe are all in wait

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RAIN IS COMING

Rain is comingfrom the seaI watch it driftingborne by wind

I sit in silencenature movesit touch my skinand sets my mood

Like an eaglesitting stillI watch it close upon my sill

The sounds of windthrough grass and leavesmind so still‘mong moving trees

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FRIENDSHIP

I laid my soul wide openfor my friend to seeput down those hardened scalesand let it all run free

I showed my pained confusionhe said he knew this placehe’d been there some years earlyI saw it in his face

The sharing and compassionallowed me leave that spaceof lonely cramped illusionmy happiness at stake

His eyes that saw me openhis voice that gave supportI took it in and slowlyI was no more alone

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TRUSTING THE HEART

Then trusting the heartits yeses and nossensing this wholenesscomplete

Not making speechesof rights and of wrongsappeasing the critic within

Being one piecea wholeness of mansoft and solidon ground

Sensing and trusting

the knowingthat comes from the heart

FEELING LOST

Feeling lostAs beforeIn this friendly woodExactly whereI want to be

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GARDEN SERENADE

This old gardenplays its songsLight and shadow serenades

Helped by windand morning sun Through mossand autumn trees

Grass still green

Like shiny silverstrings

The larger treesof woods aroundDance a slow old waltz

Dead brown leavesupon the groundReminds ofwhat’s to come

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GREEN SPROUTS

Green sproutson my fathersdarkened picture

of teachingthe boy

SEDUCTION

The sea is a plate of silver

Boats move slow in distanceTowards land of misty blue

Summer seems to lingerBut autumn sings the tuneI’m seduced by sweetnessOf late October’s June

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MILD LIGHT

Suddenly a mildnessin the evening lightSongs of love from every birdinto a warmer sky

Branches birthing greenin between their callsA dog’s barkinto stillnessAnnouncing spring

HUMANISM

Humanism is being happy with the abundance that is youNot comparing loosing groundNot judging through another’s eyesNot conjuring visions from long gone pastBeing ordinaryis enough

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THE DOME

The dome of ego shuddersits rusty structure screamsThe superego franticallytrying to maintain its beams

It’s painting old idealsand securing with critiqueComparing you to othersand hope you come out clean

Inside this rusty hollowis emptiness, no groundIdentity is shattered

The stronghold of this towerof guilt and old beliefsHolds on from solar plexusa cramp from front to rear

It holds itself in panicnot to disappearBut space dissolves its bodyand laughter is what’s real

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THE CRADLE OF I

I fell out of the cradleinto a boundless spaceBetween images and stories

The loss was overwhelmingno address and no goalSeparate from othersa sense of being lost

The habits of the friendlythat cozy glue was goneThe I still strongly temptingthat cradle of the known

How to trust my nature

Being in this openno views to lean upon

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HYMN TO AN OLD MASTER

High in barren landscapeOf snow and howling windsHome of this old giantNo longer just a tree

His roots still eating rockHis trunk like hardened steelThis old and silent masterIs showing how to live

In all his glistening greenHe shows the force of lifeThe willingness to be

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THE CALL OF THE I

Yet the I is callingyou left your hull too soon

It calls with different voicesit sings with different tunes

some with threats of doom

The birthright of this being

Borne on wind and sunshineexpressing all its life

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THE SQUEEZE

caught between do’s and don’tsMommy’s fear of othersFather feeling small

born within his coreLost to his awarenessmommy needed all

Calling for the fatherwanting his supportAlone there in the openhurting from his loss

Now rest in the abundanceaway from calls of shameAs the caller weakensthe fullness of his strength

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EATING THE DRY

precious and full

nothing is dull

Then a call comes with storiesof beauty and fame“Come to my storeI will feed you again”

I am sensing its drynesshollow and dulllike eating a pictureof something that’s full

Sense the abundanceand taste what is realSense your own life

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STAYING ON THE EDGE

I see the wall of futurestill tempting me to lookThe mind a willing allyit knows the way to hook

Soothing me with storiesof whom I am to beOr looks into the mirrorits back view safely speaks

Being in the middlethis edge of sacred groundA space of no opinionnot knowing what’s to come

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THE KING`S GUARD

The darkened guardshold their lineswatch the royal castle

Trunks like iron‘gainst the skyon this autumn morning

Grownup menfeel like boyswith these solemn elders

Struck by powerof the stillreaching for the heavens

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THE KING`S GUARD II

Old guards still standingtall in the darkCold rain announcing winter

Their hardened feetdeep in the groundShed leavesthe only shelter

Young soldiers marchbetween their legsClick heelslike paper tigers

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WARRIOR DREAMS

The warrior stancewas protecting his heartGave him the armourthat set him apart

He fought for his valuehe fought for his rightHis keen eyes were watching

Then letting his fence fall

Letting go of his hopesto make right again

That vigilant stance goneso focused with fearLeft him wide opento sense his own pearl

So soft and alivethis pearly white fruitOut in the openin touch with it all

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PILLARS OF TRUTH

Looking at the towerThe pillars of old truthI sense the fear behind itIt’s reason getting loose

The real truth of the momentI tasted in my heartAn intimate communionAnd freedom from the past

This longing from foreverGives rise to open spaceAllows me take my true seatAnd sense into the depths

The path that I am walkingFeels like my own groundThe doubt of real belongingHas gone, I’m coming home

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FLOW

Following the bodyin such amazing speed

no thought of where this leads

The oneness with the movements

lets me sense the moverdancing at his will

When peace is slowly settlinga lightness does appeara smiling boy of sunshineat peace with what he is

GREEN SPROUTS II

Green sproutson my fathers darkened pictureHonouring the loveand the longingThat once wasin my heart

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WARRIOR DREAMS II

The little hero riseshe steels his tiny legsHe takes his sword and helmetthe armour for his chest

The warrior takes his stancehe feels his strength and willBehind his shining armourhe’s proud and has no fear

The soul within this steel

It can no longer feelthe outside takes it all

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ALONE

In his private chamberthe boy maintained his woeto be strong and cleverlike his hero could support

ALONE II

The wonder of the fatherthis sense of having goldWas robbed him by the motherwho shamed the one he loved

Heartache in his own homefeeling lost and wrongWith the blinded fatherthat left him long ago

ALONE III

Alone in natures gardenstillness does ariseFeeling like a lone childwithout his known support

Every moment ladenwith the presence of it allNo strings of action soothingnot knowing clear and cold

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ALONE IV

Separate among others

No hooks of ingratiationNo sense of having debts

The clarity of visionFrom this seat insideResting in alonenessI see your natural face

ALONE V

Soaring like a big birdborne upon the windsalone between the heavensa golden heart within

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THE BIGGEST THIEF

The biggest thief of alllives right beneath my skinHe tells me: “Oh I like this!”“Let’s play it once again”

I sense I am being drawn outfrom this serene and inner placeTo the outer charmsof doing it again

And once the thief has eatenthe life that’s new and freshHe wears it as a medalupon his rusty chest

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SONG OF PRESENCE

Why don’t you want toBe presentShe saidIn the freshnessThat’s hereInstead of walking the tombsOf your pastOr the airy castlesOf futureShe saidWhy not pay attentionTo the windsMoving youLike a songYou must listen closelyTo hearThe words of beauty

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THE BIGGEST THIEF II

The thiefmy companionhas been working so hardTo gather his medalsof fame

He’s been runningand helpingand serving as guardAll just to protectmy heart

He’s sadabout leavinghe is scared to be lostBut he’s paidand I’ll kiss him Goodbye

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BENEATH THE WALLS

I slipped into the darknessI fell beneath the wallsinto a peaceful blacknessI lost the sense of home

Then starlight seemed to gatherit lightened up my mindFrom my darkened bodythe light began to shine

It streamed out from the welland settled in my heartI found my private seatno longer in the dark

A softness moved my bodywhere walls had lost their holdThe mountains moved inside mewe shared the ground of all

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DIFFUSION

Not trusting what’s realin his own heartHe’s looking for truthin the other

A child without groundhe longs for support

in mother

The grownups are naming itsensible waysLike pros and consand politeness

When the energy’s gonediffused from the realA sense of confusionand smallness

He’s loosing contactwith his soulLetting the old fearcontrol him

In need of supporthe offers his charmsAnd walk the walkof the others

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THE RAW

You’re moving past the guardian

Separate without guidancesmall and on your own

This outrage will be punishedthe betrayal of your guideYou curl up like a foetusstill hurting in your heart

you move into the painAs black space slowly risesyour presence has no end

You’ve opened to the wholenessno veils to soothe this rawThe sound of rain runs through you

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NO ADDRESS

I cried out loudI loose it allmy friendsmy life my self

Another journeyhas begunOf shrinkingintodust

The fear prevailsI loose my holdNo addressleftin space

No inside andno outside hereTo putthe selfat rest

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SWALLOWS

so lownowThey say“it’s ‘fore the rain”I hearthe distantthunderI still can sense the pain

But sun isslowlyrisingIt gentlyholds my walkA smileinsidemy bodyBrings hopeand joy and warmth

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BABY BLUE

A lonely child is callingacross the plains of timeDoesn’t trust your doingdoesn’t trust your charm

It’s fear of disapprovaltakes hold and pulls your heartA mist of dread invades youyou sink into the part

This entity of old hurtis known by every cellYou start forget your herenessand soon you’ve left yourself

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CONNECTED

The brightnessof an open heart

to meet youlike the sun

TRUTH

To senseyour hearts desireTo feelits light and joy

your true connectionTo be

Your seatof peace and richesNo doubtor quest for fameYour dignitylike water

to meet itself

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YELLOW

I feel sillyI saidlightlike a childWith gigglesand laughpouring outof my heart

What am I to dowith myselfin this state?Maybe there’s nothingbut beingShe said

It struck meso deepI fell intomy heartThe truthis so simpleI make itso hard

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HEART

What is your heart

of veins and bloodinside you

Now sense againand sink intothe spring of lifethat bides there

This space of joythis sense of smilethat shines its lightaround you

85

PANIC

You panicked when they told youTo be is not enough

another grounddesert the soft and calm

You have to check your natural stepto be your new idealto watch your everymove and smileto prove you’re in this deal

That new ground so evasivea construct of your mindthose constant dos and don’tsto keep you on the line

The tense became your new homeIt served your cause so wellYou did forgetthe realYou think you are this shell

86

SIMPLICITY

Simplicity she said,is not about styleIt’s not about being the right kind of guyIt’s not about acting the right kind of wayIt is she said,being at onewith whatever you arewalking the streetsor driving your car

CHANGE

Dark morningsand wet leavesAutumntalks

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ALIVE

Being that

Being that

Being that conscious spacesensing it all

90

TURNING AWAY

You’re moving outbetrayingThat stillnessof your heartThe duty so compellingYou moveto play your partYou’re reaching out to please themYou’re moving out to careYou turn awayto have that smilethat makes you feel so safe

The hurt of your betrayalis numbed by every moveYou’re master of your imageBut stillyou’ll have to proveThen suddenly such stillnessSuch pain to turn awayThis intimate communionwith your sacred space

91

HOPE

A little boy was punisheda little boy was lefthis chest caved inlike burninghis longing had no end

Then hoping for tomorrowsoothed by his planto make a real good motherof the one he had

CHILDHOOD

In the aftermathof punishmentthe certainty of doom

Abandonedin that empty deadno way to stop the pain

Still, crying comes to enda new sound

A tune emerging from the depthssoothing: “You exist”

92

THE KNIGHT

The King in his castlesense in his hearta wantingfor contact and joyHe calls for his knightThe knight comes at oncebringing a silvery tray

“I will carry your message into the world I will tell you how well they respond”

He bows and leavesThe King stays behindHis life safe beneath walls

The knight returnsMessage written in gold “They like you and sends their regards”

The King feels numbNo life in those wordsHe turnsand he closes his heart

93

CHANGE

Early morningcomes with changeOne of many deaths

A ship is leaving

Slow and heavyno returnYour body feelsthe weight

A ship is leaving

You turn to sense behind youA dark tuneof farewell

A ship is leaving

Then to bowthe sense of joyThis journeyhas begun

A ship is leaving

94

THE FORTRESS

I am looking at the fortressfrom inside these old wallsits attitudes and knowledgethe laws in case of war

I’m hanging like a puppetin those silver threadsthey tell about the outsideand bides me not to rest

95

THE DEEP

I woke upto a starry nightFloating in its black peaceRooted in its light

OTHER POEMS 2007

98

THIN LINE

The thin lineof the livingAlmost brokenin my friend

His chest and heartlaid openTo bring himback again

Crying in his painand hidingin his fear

He shook us allto wake upThe line betweenis real

99

THE ARAB SINGER

The Arab singeropened his heartCalling the HolyI am yours tonight

Bourne by stringsdriven by beatMoving the soulscome feel the heat

to a warmer spaceBodies are movedby this bliss taking place

100

MOON CHANT

The cicadas evening concert

Old frog calls out to join thema hoarse old-fashioned chant

They’re complaining to the new moonshe keeps hiding in her homeJust a narrow silver lineshines out beneath her door

They’ll keep on singing every nightuntil their call is heardAnd then they’ll sing her praise all nighttill the sun wakes up

101

PERFUME RIVER – SONG HUONG

Among Buddhas and scootersand farmers of riceThe holy and practicalseems to unite

Working and smilingand intent to sellThey build up with brickswhat the war once erased

Like swarms of mosquitoesfrom morning till night

with their motos and noise

But up from the riverthe monks work in peaceIn the Thien Mu Pagoda the Buddha still lives

102

WAKING UP

Early morning

like a rivermoves inside

Sea breeze singingin the palmssun just touchingsoft and calm

Open endedthis new daypregnantin a peaceful way

103

PATHAYA ATTRACTIONS

He looks at his toyfrom a faraway placeLost in his deadnesshe still wants to enjoy

His money has hooked hershe plays by his willControl is the gameof no pain and no fear

He sucks on her youthhis own so far goneAttracted by life’s heat

104

SAD GIRL

She came with a blacknessof duty and shamePunished with wordsfrom her past

I asked her to tell methe truth of her painShe told me her Godwas so stern

His voice was like thunderHe told her she failedTo be like her motherwould want

This haunted young womanwho claimed she heard GodSo special in her painful way

Was shocked when she sawshe’d created it allher own fear of judgementwas all

105

RIVER

Standing in the riverin this stream of lifeCaptured by its beautymysterious and dark

that pulls me with its mightWill it bring me fortuneor just a frozen night

106

GROWN MEN

They were allmarkedthese grown menStern fathersand harsh rules

They had tochoosethose young boys Obey lawor stay alone

They found theirmeansthose young warriorsTo bend fatetheir own way

easefor those menHearts stillcarry pain

Sixty years’

A long burning

sorrow feeds

107

NUMB

A small boy’s standingvery stillhe does no longer wantArms pulled backnot reaching outloudfor mothers love

Young man sittingin the cornersilent with his beerSees her armsround someone’s neckHe never

Grown man trying tosense his wantin the hollow ofhis heartIt all evades himhe’s numbed outfor giving upso long

108

DIGNITY III

Her daddylike a childHer mother like a teenShe was fartoo muchfor themShe couldn’thold it in

She beggedfor their compassionShe starvedand cuther armsThey saidshe was self centred“We’re the oneswho’re harmed”

I met her as a grown upgenerous and wildShe took backwhat belongedto herHer dignityand heart

109

FLIES

Those young menin the barBusiness suitsand stone eyesWaiting

for prey

Mobile phones

Gritted teethmake insectsmilesTo the worldfor morechampagne

110

DADDY’S GIRL

This woman childso stiff and sadso lost in rulesof niceRules for everyturn of lifeand deadnessin her eyesNo reason to complainshe saidwith money from my dadShe even judgedher sadnessthe only life she had

111

FUNFAIR BOY

I saw him behind his shelterSelling ballsto throw

Hardly seventeenof ageHis eyesalready gone

What takesa young manslifethis wayAnd leaves him in the dull

Selling ticketsrainy daysis hardlywhat’s to blame

112

FUNNY HAT

An old ladywith a funny hatwalks through autumn goldKicking leaves

with such a tender smileThe sunny parkand memoriesof summers that have gone

113

NEON

Autumn has reached the cityDark nights and wet lights shining on pavement and stone

The Kings trees have sighed and let go of their goldturning brown on the wet lawns

Autumn faces, pale and closed, passingneon paintings for a bleak seasonRain gently washing

114

THE KINGS GUARD III

Old soldier in the parkScarred skin andbroken limbsfrom those long snowy winters

Roots like steelno leavesgreen moss ‘round his heartL loves Min this pale winter light

PEACE

The sea is silentcold and darkWinter sings its tuneA ferry’s glidingon its lightsred and greentowards the keyComes to pick me up

115

GREETING

Winter morning red and greyice on pondsfrozen bay

I am not here

THE DEEP

I woke upto a starry night

Floating in its black peaceRooted in its light