By: NobleWorks Cards

Spanx, Harshit and Prince

10 baby names guaranteed to get your kid’s ass kicked.

DorcusI don't care how magical and Harry Potterish this sounds, your kid will never forgive you for sentencing her to this name that sounds like an insult all on its own. On a dork scale from 1 to 10, I give it a dorcus maximus.

VegasWhether you were married by

Elvis, thrown out of the casino for counting cards, or conceived your child while in a drunken stupor on the strip, what happens in Vegas

stays in Vegas. So should this name.

HarshitI kid you not, this is an actual name in Sanskrit. When translated in English it means full of happiness. When translated by his peers on the playground, it means full of horse dung. A harshitty name if ever I heard one..

P.P.Yes, initial names can be cool. A.J., J.D., C.J. - initials that are a common euphemism for urine? Not #1 on my list. P.S.: I wouldn't name your daughter B.J. either.

Rectum

In general, I'd pass on the names associated with any bodily organ (i.e., Spleen, Pancreas, etc.), but this one especially sucks ass.

BabyAs original as naming your kitty, cat. No one puts baby in a corner, and no one with a rightful mind puts “Baby” on a birth certificate.

SpanxNames that end with the letter x are becoming increasingly popular these days, and although Jax and Maddox will earn them street cred, the brand name of mommy's thigh-slimming pantyhose/undies/scuba shorts will earn them xtra doses of daily taunting. In short, ix nay on the anx spay.

Pierre

Unless you live in gay Paree, I'd avoid gifting your kid with a snooty European name that may be considered tres chic across the Atlantic but tres queenie in the continental US.

HitlerUnless you're hoping to pave the way for the next most evil dictator of the 21st century, I’d skip this unforgivable Nazilike namesake that will leave your kid friendless. No one wants to leave their kid with Hitler in a sandbox.

Prince

Unless he pees purple rain, try to refrain from giving him a name otherwise reserved for royalty. Side note - adding the middle name Albert makes it an even more piercing no no.

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