speech121listening

Listening Quiz - Syllabus

History Repeats itself because no one listens the first time. ~ unknown

Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your

temper or your self – confidence. ~ Robert Frost, Poet

Chapter 4: Listening inInterpersonal Communication

“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”

How we communicate

Consider your day!

You listen:•At home •At work•At school •With friends•With familyQ: How much do you really hear?

Professionals listen:•Doctors•Lawyers•Contractors•ManagementQ: How much do they really hear?

6 Forms of Nonlistening

1) Pseudolistening2) Monopolizing3) Selective listening4) Defensive listening5) Ambushing6) Literal listening

Forms of Nonlistening

1. Pseudolistening• Pretending to listen• Happens when we are bored, but want to appear interestedIndicators: • Responses that don’t make sense• Confusion, when called upon in class• Asking to have some repeat what they said, or asking

questions about informaiton that was given.


2. Monopolizing•Focusing on ourselvesInstead of listening to others. Tactics:•Conversation rerouting – Bringing conversation back to ourselves. •Interrupting – questions and challenges to speaker to divert conversation in another direction


3) Selective listeningFocusing on particular partsof a conversation. Examples:•If a professor says “this will be on the exam”•Things we aren’t interested in. •Ideas or information we don’t agree with or make us uneasy. •Information that is critical to us or our loved ones.


4) Defensive listeningPerceiving information as personal attacks,Criticism, or hostility in communication that isnot. •We read motives into whatever a person says•We perceive negative judgment in innocent comments•Other instances are over specific topics, vulnerable times, or having low self esteem

Tip: We can miss important information and can turn people off from being honest with us.


6) Literal listening – Listeningonly for the content and Ignoring the relationship level.•Power•Responsiveness•Liking between two people•We are insensitive to people’s feelings and our connection to them.


5) Ambushing•Literal listening carefully for purpose of attacking a speaker. •This involves careful listening, unlike the other forms of communication.•Intent to gather information to attack.

Listening to Succeed We are a nation of poor listeners!

Immediately after hearing a message, most people retain 50% of content.

Two months later most people remember 25% of content.

Interesting research, Nichols (University of Minnesota) found 95% out of 100% males better listeners than females.

Sperry Rand Corporation estimates that every year (if) 100 million workers in the United States – made a $100 error because of a listening mistake, The cost to United States = $1 billion.

Listening Professor Alton Barbour, University of Denver, conducted a country-wide survey of many industries

“Listening Habits That Irritate Me.”

1. The other person interrupts me when I talk.1. The other person interrupts me when I talk.

2. The other person doesn't2. The other person doesn't’’t look at me when I talk, so I t look at me when I talk, so I am not sure if he or she is listening.am not sure if he or she is listening.

3. The other person talks down to me.3. The other person talks down to me.

4. The other person does distracting things when talking to 4. The other person does distracting things when talking to me (texting, picking fingernails, cleaning glasses, me (texting, picking fingernails, cleaning glasses, fidgeting with pencils, looking at watch, etc.)fidgeting with pencils, looking at watch, etc.)

Other:Other:??

The Importance of Listening Listening can change lives:

Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved

According to researcher Phyllis Kemp in an article “Are you Listening?” •Sensitive listening can change your life and those around you. •You will be respected by teachers, co-workers, and your parents, bosses, and more!People who are listened to are:•Less likely to get upset when there is a problem or conflict.•Can become more mature, more democratic, more open to personal experience and less defensive.

Levels of Listening

• Hearing – You comprehend the spoken word, but do not often react. (half-listening)

• Listening – Paying attention in more detail– interpreting what you hear.

• Auding or Mindfulness – Highest level of listening (involves one or more avenues of thought.)

The Process of Listening


Listening is a five stage process; the stages overlap and are performed simultaneously

1) Receiving (Hearing or Attending)2) Understanding (Listening, learning and

deciphering meaning)

Types of Listening: Hearing

Most of us are all born with the ability to hear• People who have hearing challenges receive messages visually through writing,

lip reading, and American Sign Language (ASL). Before ASL there was Helen Keller Sign Language.

The Process of Listening (cont.)


Stage 1: Receiving or Attending – the physiological, passive process of hearing vibrations around you. (External and internal stimuli compete for our attention. )

• HearingHearing is being aware of sound generated by the environment. is being aware of sound generated by the environment.

• ListeningListening is understanding - a skill which allows us to interpret those sounds is understanding - a skill which allows us to interpret those sounds that create meaning.that create meaning.

Scenarios:Scenarios:

• A baby crying.A baby crying.

• Breaks squealing from a car.Breaks squealing from a car.

• A police siren. A police siren.

• Or a crash in the kitchen. Or a crash in the kitchen.

Listening: Listening: Based on the type of cry from the baby, or the length of the siren, or Based on the type of cry from the baby, or the length of the siren, or sound of the crash in the kitchen – all might mean there is trouble, which has sound of the crash in the kitchen – all might mean there is trouble, which has meaning to us. meaning to us.



Stage 1: ReceivingDetermining factors:1)The immediate importance of the stimulus – Do we attend or filter it out (baby crying, police siren, someone chocking)2)Our related experiences (we hear what we expect to hear and filter out most of the rest.)3)Emotional state (can adversely effective selection of stimuli ) fill in.



Stage 2: Hearing (listening) Understanding - you learn what the speaker’s thoughts and emotions mean•Listening involves thinking – molding ideas we hear into language symbols.

Four kinds of thinking when putting together aural messages. •Concept formation – integrating many concepts in the listening process. •Problem solving - manipulate symbols of thought and feeling to reach a certain goal (such as listening in economics)•Creative thinking – Unconsciously rearrange language and thought into symbols and use imagery to achieve goals•Reasoning – Directing thought to according to set of well defined logic (Replace careless listening habits with productive techniques.)



Stage 3: Remembering – Retaining (Effective communication depends on this.)Important: You remember not what was said, but what you remember was said.Memory is reconstructive, not reproductive – You construct message that makes sense to your.Short term memory - is the storage of data for a few secondsLong term memory – stores the data for hours, days, years or even a lifetime. (this is not part of the listening process, but the result of perceptive listening.)



Stage 4: Evaluating – consciously or unconsciously judging the speakers message or motives. •Often we impose our meanings onto others (correcting, arguing or telling them how they feel.)“Good listeners stay out of the other’s way” so

they can learn what others think and feel.”~ Listening expert, Robert Bolton

The Listening ProcessHow do we organize?• We organize based by prototypes, personal constructs, stereotypes, scripts, and

schemata.

We select meaning by how we select and organize communication – Perceptions should be tentative and open to revision.

As we listen, we decide how to categorize:1) Which prototype (who does the speaker closely resemble.) a good friend, person in

trouble, student, teacher, etc.2) Then we apply the personal constructs to define more detail (are they upset or calm,

open to advice or closed to it.)3) Based on the construct of others, we apply stereotypes (how has this person reacted in

the past. Or how this situation similar to others) that predict what they will do. 4) We then apply the script (how the interaction should proceed, including how we should

act.)5) Lastly, the schemata organize help us figure out how to respond to others.• A psychology concept developed by Piaget, describes an organized pattern of thought or

behavior. It can also be described as a mental structure of preconceived ideas, a framework representing some aspect of the world, or a system of organizing and perceiving new information.

• Schemata influence attention and the absorption of new knowledge: people are more likely to notice things that fit into their schema, while re-interpreting contradictions to the schema as exceptions or distorting them to fit. Schemata have a tendency to remain unchanged, even in the face of contradictory information.



Stage 5: Responding – giving immediate or delayed feedback to the speaker on what you think and how you feel about the message•Transitional process in which we simultaneously listen and speak. Signs of responses include:•Eye contact•Nodding•Attentive posture, •Smiling, •Asking questions to invite more interaction.

Auding - Mindfulness

BE HERE NOW

•We don’t let our thoughts drift.

•We do not focus on our feelings and responses.

•We put away electronic devices and or stop any activities that can get in the way.

•We fully tune in (without imposing our ideas, judgments, biases, stereotypes, prejudices, values, and feelings)

•It’s a choice to be mindful

“The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it”

― Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life

Barriers to Effective Listening

1. External obstacles– Message overload – Too much information!

(Class information, emails, text message, voice mail, work) We have to screen or prioritize

– Message complexity – Complex messages, topics (science, economics, math classes. Technical words, complex sentences with idioms or slang expressions.)


2. Internal obstacles - Preoccupation – with our own thoughts, feelings, and concerns.

3. Prejudging communicator or the communication:

• You dislike or disagree with speaker• You anticipate what the person will say and

then you tune them out.(Especially politicians who hold different views from our own)

• You prejudge others based on culture, religion, age, sex or race.


3. Reacting to emotionally loaded language – Words and phrases that evoke a strong response, positive or negative. We often attack the other person or tune out. “You should,” “Liberal,” “Far Right,” “Family Values,” “Everyone or Everybody”

What are your triggers? – Lack of effort – It is hard to listen (especially when noise

and physiological conditions.) When this happens tell person you are tired, or want to

discuss difficult topics later. 4. Failure to adapt listening styles – Different skills for

different people, situations, settings, etc.

Barriers to Effective Listening5. Rehearsing a Response - This barrier is perhaps the most

difficult to overcome. • We spend time rehearsing what we will say before the other

person is finished speaking.• One of the reasons is the Speech-rate-ratio: The difference

between speech rate and thought rate.

Steps for being a more Effective Listener

Steps for being a more Effective Listener

• Stop • Look• Listen• Ask questions• Paraphrase content• Paraphrase feelings

Steps for Being a more Effective Listener

• Eliminate distractions so you can concentrate and give speaker full attention.• Be present - (eliminate self talk/intrapersonal communication)

Look:• Listen to what isn’t being said as an additional component.• Look for nonverbal clues that will help you understand what the speaker is feeling. • The face provides the most important information about how the person is feeling.

Body also communicates feelings and emotions. • The person’s voice quality, pitch, rate, volume, and use of silence also give

information on how the person is feeling.

Steps to Being a More Effective Listener

Listen:• Listen for what another person is telling you• You may not always agree with what the person is saying, but try to give

them a chance to be heard

• Match verbal with the nonverbal to decipher both the content and emotion of the person’s message (Incongruence – When nonverbal and verbal don’t match – past experience helps.)

If a person you are talking with says “Im OK” but nonverbal doesn’t match…take an opportunity to learn more.


Ask Questions:• Help others to focus by using questions that clarify perceptions.

Four purposes of questions:1. To obtain additional information2. To find out how a person feels3. To ask for clarification of a word or phrase4. To verify your conclusion about the person’s meaning are feeling.

Tip: Ask “How” not “Why” questions. “How do you feel about that?” vs. “Why do you feel that way?”Or “How did that happen?” vs. “Why did that happen.”


Paraphrase Content:• After the person is done talking (Don’t interrupt) Restate in your

own words what you think the other person is saying. (Different from parroting)

• The goal of active listening is understand both the feelings and the content of another person’s feelings.

Paraphrase Feelings:• You could follow your paraphrase with a comment on feeling,

such as “ I imagine you must be feeling ______(frustrated, confused, happy, sad, perplexed, etc.) Followed with “Is that true.”

• Give the person a chance to respond to your paraphrase.

• Slow down responses to match the speaker’s pace and processing of information. (Best way to connect with people is to match their use of words, and communication style)

Practice Paraphrasing

• I think we’re seeing too much of each other

• I really like communication, but what could I do with the major?

• I don’t know if Pat and I are getting too serious too fast

• You can borrow my car, if you really need to, but please be careful with it. I can afford any repairs and if you have an accident, I won’t be able to drive home this weekend.

Practice Paraphrasing

• I think we’re seeing too much of each other (Do I hear you saying that you want some more space or time for yourself?)

• I really like communication, but what could I do with the major? (I get the sense that you are struggling with career choices now, is that right?”

• I don’t know if Pat and I are getting too serious too fast.(I hear some hesitancy about your relationship with Pat, yes?)

• You can borrow my car, if you really need to, but please be careful with it. I can afford any repairs and if you have an accident, I won’t be able to drive home this weekend. (It seems like your car is very important to you right now.)

Guidelines for Effective Listening

• Be mindful• Adapt listening appropriately

Listening – The “D” formula

• DDOT – Don’t do other tasks (cleaning glasses, shuffling papers, doodling – one brain process – can really only focus on one task at a time.

• DMP – Don’t make plans – Extra listening time gives people the illusion the can make plans, shopping lists, etc. – doing this directs the brain to stop listening.

• DD – Don’t daydream – More powerful than DMP – As soon as we start daydreaming the brain stops listening. (It is enjoyable and beneficial – but not when listening.)

Guidelines for Effective Listening• Form an acronym – Chunking information

1. Write the facts you need to remember.2. Underline the first letter of each fact. If there is more than one word in a fact,

underline the first letter of only the first word in the fact.3. Arrange the underlined letters to form an acronym that is a real word word you can

pronounce.

Examples:• "HOMES" – The five Great Lakes: Michigan, Erie, • Superior, Ontario, Huron• Order of Operations in Math

Create a story – Phonetic Alphabet

Review information in Syllabuson listening in class.

The End

speech121listening

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