Spirituality and Awakening in a Nutshell

Edward “Edji” Muzika: Blog and Facebook Teachings Collection

June 20 – December 6, 2013

Edji blog: http://itisnotreal.blogspot.ca/

Website: http://www.wearesentience.com/

(The cover shows Edji sitting with Deeya in Warner Ranch Park, Los Angeles, October 21, 2013 – sitting where Edji’s teacher Robert Adams used to walk his dog, Dimitri.)

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June 20, 2013

Sex Guru or Love-Emptiness, Advaita Teacher?

Some people seem to be saying that I emphasize sex too much, or that I have become an energy guru, whatever that means.

Absolutely not.

I am truly a teacher of Advaita as were my own teachers, Robert Adams and Jean Dunn. However, I also was a Zen monk for 12 years and heavily emphasize the knowing or realizing of emptiness or the Void in its various aspects as part of the awakening process. The original Advaitins of the 11th Century never talked about emptiness or the Void, but Robert did as do all Zen teachers and most Buddhist teachers.

Also, Jean’s teacher, my grandteacher, Nisargadatta, emphasized love and devotion both in his method of following and loving the I Am, but he was was almost a pure Bhakta prior to his awakening in the 1930s. He talks about his own practice of love and devotion that led to Self-Realization and attaining Krishna-Consciousness in his little book, “Self-Knowledge and Self-Realization” downloadable from the website http://wearesentience.com. He also talks a little about ecstatic energies and bliss.

Combine this background with my third awakening experience that occurred when I fell in love with another person. That love was not sexual, it was, for me, loving love itself, becoming love itself, worshipping love and surrender and complete devotion to the other, complete surrender to the other. Nor were the experiences associated with it usually explicitly sexual for me.

This awakening led to a tremendous intensification of my experience of inner light and seeing the flow of love as an inner river of different colors, flowing through my “energy body,” an entity within the Subtle Body which has deep roots in Turiya, which also could be called the love/bliss body, a term used by same gurus, including Adi Da and Esmann, though the latter uses it differently.

There was a growing awareness of myself in utter humility, utter surrender to the ‘other’, both in her person-hood, but also as the Self in her that led to an awareness and then worship of the ‘Self of All’ in me. That is, I first became aware of the ‘divine self’ in her, even before I was aware of it in me.

With this there was a constant state of feeling utterly humble, utterly surrendered to her, to the divine within her and within me, with increasing intervals of feeling smaller than an ant, smaller than a grit of sand, smaller than a dust mote, utterly worthless, wanting only to support and worship God in her and around me everywhere. Along with this feeling event or state, I felt a sublime descent of grace as a golden light, falling like rain within me and around me everywhere, becoming like a golden river descending through my head downwards into my heart and body.

This led to the arising of the Self in me as infinite light and power, arising within me and infusing me with divine energy, revealing in utter clarity my small self as the energy-body within and around my physical body, completely separate from the physical body, yet dependent of the body/mind complex for its existence. That small energy body self, was also just a splinter of the Infinite Self and was energized by the Infinite Self, joined in total oneness, yet as a separate, individualized expression of the Self of All.

On the other hand, the experience of sexual bliss is entirely unlike the bliss and ecstasies that arise as a result of being deeply in love and deeply devoted to an ‘other’, whether that ‘other’ is human, a god or goddess, an animal, guru, the I Am, or “Shakti.”

However, sex and tantra in general are highly useful in two ways: mobilizing the Kundalini-Shakti, and increasing the love-bonding between two people.

On the other hand, the physical expression of sex may sometimes be detrimental to the increase of an intense yearning for the beloved. If the emphasis is on the direct expression of physical sex, the emphasis may shift to the sex act itself and sexual bliss rather than for love of the other. On the other hand, as I said before, it can enhance love and boding between two people.

In addition, as I shall mention later, mobilizing sexual energies is usually a pre-requisite to an awakening of the Kundalini, but I am not a Kundalini teacher. For me it is about love, and the mobilizing of the various energies within the Subtle and Physical Body will take care of itself automatically given the presence of enough love.

Now, awakening to the internal energies is a mysterious thing. Is it an actual awakening to various internal energies, or a new awareness of energies that were always there?

When I first began practicing meditation in 1967, I did so with incredible intensity, focusing on finding the origin of the I-thought, which took me deeper and deeper into the inner emptiness. It was like always “pushing” forward into the darkness, pursuing the receding I-thought, going ever more deeply into the darkness, much like a diver going ever more deeply into ever darkening deep waters.

This resulted in the darkness gradually becoming lighted, revealing the inner light of Consciousness, which after a few months, pervaded the entirety of the inner Void revealed.

Along with this came an arising of the Kundalini in my spine, apparently in the wrong channel, the right channel instead of the central channel. It was an incredibly painful experience with all kinds of visions and sensitivities. I began to be able to see in the dark and detect electromagnetic currents and fields around me. I could feel the life energies of plants and animals around me, and had a strange fear of the full moon. I also had the illusion of being impregnated and giving birth to a divine light infant. Every afternoon about 2 pm, I felt summoned inside by my deep Self that pulled me downwards into a huge bright light within that terrified me for I knew it meant death. There were many other happenings and visions. But there was no bliss at all.

All of these experiences totally disappeared once I went to Mt. Baldy and studied Zen under Sasaki Roshi. At that point, something else happened. After 5 minutes of Zen-style sitting in Padmaasana, my mind totally disappeared along with my body. It felt like my mind transited through a period of non-being altogether, then the mind flushed, like a toilet, and the mind disappeared downwards and away from me. Even the experience of an inner emptiness disappeared and the boundary between me and the world disolved and there was only oneness. I and the world were one, but I was not aware of an I. There was just the world and it was me but without announcing I was it. That came later after I left the state.

This state happened many thousands of times over the next three or four years along with the continued absence of any further experiences of inner energy states. Yet, had they really disappeared and were no longer functioning either in my physical body or my small-self, the energy body? I don’t know. I was no longer aware of the energy body, inner light, Kundalini, etc. All these were considered Makyo, or illusory, in Zen, and the Zen style of sitting, and the Zen style or practice seemed to eliminate the energies in any perceivable form.

The reawakening to internal energies that occurred after I fell in love along with the arising of the Self within my experience that became a permanent presence of Self-Awareness-of-Self, made meditation automatic and permanent. The energies and bliss constantly drew the attention of Self to Self.

Now, to bring all this into an Advaita model, or at least the model presented by Siddharameshwar, we observe that he talks about the Absolute as being entirely beyond Consciousness, as what Western philosophy called the 'Noumenal' or the 'Unmanifest'. This is

also called the thing in itself and is not as observed. We, as the Absolute, cannot observe the Self as the Absolute and make it an object. This is the end of the line of seeking. We cannot witness or make the subject into an object; we can only BE the Absolute, and from that position, witness Consciousness. That is, we recognize when we try to witness the subject, that it continually recedes from the witness. More and more of the unknown becomes known as a growing Void, but one’s own sentient source cannot be revealed. Instead we need to relax and fall backwards into the witness, until, very suddenly we become it, and the manifest world appears before us, either as we usually perceive it with a sense of separation, or as I perceived it at Mt. Baldy, as my own boundless manifest presence.

Siddharameshwar warns us that the witness of Consciousness, in order to maintain ‘life’ needed to worship the Manifest, or Consciousness, or else dry up and become dead.

This was my own experience too. I saw in student after student around Robert and around me, that they “died” to life and as such, became lifeless. But unlike Robert said, they did not experience increasing bliss or happiness, but only deadness and depression. Several of Robert students committed suicide when with him or shortly after leaving him. Many people have written to me that they too felt depressed and sometimes suicidal after practicing self-inquiry as directed by Robert and Ramana. That is why I changed the technique of self-inquiry from looking for the source of where the I-thought arose, which as emptiness, to loving the I Am sense, and abiding there with an attitude of openness and wonder about that feeling as opposed to pursuing the I-thought.

The “lowest level” or “deepest level” of Consciousness was Turiya in Siddharameshwar’s model, also known as the fourth state of Consciousness, whose experience was of “existence-knowledge-bliss,” or pure bliss and happiness. You have to realize this model is merely a metaphor, and there are no levels of consciousness, but you might say there among all things knowable, there are some phenomena that are more subtle and more hidden by the mind’s illusions. So Turiya may also be regarded as the our subtle essence, rather than the lowest or deepest level.

You might say that instead of Turiya being regarded as the deepest level of Consciousness, it can also be considered the manifest side of the Absolute, with the other three level of consciousness, the external world of the senses, the Subtle Body, and the Causal Body of the Void, being projections from the Absolute.

However, Zen, Robert Adams, Nisargadatta and Jean Dunn all eschewed such intellectualizations as distractions from the pure experience of the unfolding of our awakenings following a practice of self-inquiry or self-abiding. But intellectual people often require a model

in words or images for what they are doing. Their minds require it, and by dwelling on the knowing, the unfolding is slowed.

None of the real awakening experiences or processes has anything to do with something the mind does, like a practice. In fact, it is the mind that has created all the illusions that prevent us from realizing our deeper Self-nature. Thus the constant checking of the mind, the constantly revising our understanding of what is happening, continual searching for explanation of what is unfolding or how to unfold better is a continual trap hindering the unfolding.

Thus many teachers recommend going into silence of the mind to allow us to “feel” the Self rather than think about it.

My emphasis is on loving the I Am, which Ramana, Robert, and Nisargadatta point out is the direct highway to the Self, to Turiya, the Mother of Consciousness, Krishna Consciousness. It is the Self, Turiya, leaking upwards into the Subtle Body and Causal Body, which, in meditation, we can then follow “downwards” to the lowest, or most refined aspects of Consciousness, SatChitAnanada, beingness. This could be called the manifest side of the Absolute, with the other side being the unobservable subject or witness.

Thus, what I teach is pure Advaita, but with an emphasis of emptiness and love, with an acceptance of using awareness of the energies within, whatever they are called, to drag attention inwards to Self.

June 25, 2013

A Word of Warning

I have heard it said that 71 people awakened under Ramana during his 50 years of teaching. Considering that he had tens of thousands of students over that 50 years, we are talking of a “success” rate of maybe 1 or 2 out of a thousand.

Papaji, on the other hand, turned Raman’s teachings upside down, completely lowered the criteria for claiming awakening, and declared hundreds as awakened or teachers.

Robert was even stricter than Ramana, claiming that you could count on the fingers of two hands all the enlightened beings in the world.

From my experience, I have seen very few students with the openness or fortitude and courage necessary to become an actual teacher, rather than just awakened.

So many are just totally adverse to feeling negative feelings that they will never awaken.

Many, even teachers, want to wrap themselves in peace, or love, silence, or emptiness and wrap their students into this same bubble, which gradually becomes an absence of any negative emotion, and they feel this is an awakening of some sort.

It is not. It is an Advaita escape into silence or emptiness with a bit of forced love, and Facebook lovespeak.

For you will never find God’s love, the hyper-human, all encompassing, all-liberating, explosive love, that is true freedom, without owning the flipside hell of hate, anger, jealousy, possessiveness, fear and periods of deadness known as the various Dark Nights of the Soul, where one loses God and love.

Now, no one under a real teacher has an easy time unless, like Robert, they were already awakened.

Real teachers, those who can shock you into awakening are not placid Ramanas who you sit around for 40 years until 1/10th of 1% awaken.

Real teachers are tigers, even those who appear loving, accepting and open on the surface, to the general public and casual satsang goer.

People ran from Robert because he burned them. Students wanted to be around his quiet, peaceful exterior, thinking this is where they should be and this is the goal.

But Robert was always in the background stirring up dissent between people and denying whatever they believed was true. He burned students. He always referred to Yogananda, who

asked him after he had been with Yogananda for a while, “Will you still love me and stay with me no matter what I do?” Robert said yes, even while wondering what Yogananda had in mind of doing.

Yogananda would treat each student differently, depending on circumstances and what they needed to get a bit more humble and loving.

Other great gurus that I have been around were the same. Everyone close to Muktananda was terrified of him, of his explosive personality, yelling, berating and apparent anger at one moment, and then the blissful, laughing guru of another moment.

Ama, the supposed perfect guru terrifies her own monks. I remember one talk by her right hand monk, given maybe 25 years ago. He said something like, “You people out there who only see Ama once a year, or maybe come to satsangs weekly, see only peace, love and compassion. But try being around Ama every day. She burns you with emotionality and demands of physical and emotional endurance that few can tolerate.

Seung Sahn Soen Sa, perhaps the most famous of the first generation of Asian Zen masters was really ruthless and unconcerned with many of his monks. He would scream at monks, supporters, abbots and lay people insiders as much as speak softly. When I was in Korea, I was told that one who interfered with any of his major supporters would have their balls cut off.

Of course one needs only to look at one photo of Nisargadatta to see what a no-nonsense guru he was, and how intolerant he could be with casual seekers or those full of themselves. He ate students alive.

Yet most of the students that have come to me, except those who were true bhaktis, were runners. They would run at the slightest sign of what they considered “disrespect,” or anger, calling me abusive. Rather than face and express and “process” their reactions, they would run. Often they ran to Rajiv because of his “respectful silence,” or they ran to Deeya, because of Deeya’s uncanny ability to radiate peace and love.

A few found a new book to read which suddenly made sense to them after being around me, because being around me, nothing made sense any more. The new book gave them something secure to hold onto, and then they began arguing with me based on their three years of experience, as to whose teachings were better, more universal, or truer.

Now, if you really want to feel positive and even happy for a period, perhaps even be blissful for long periods of time, go to Facebook with its ever flowing hearts, soft-speak, pleasant-speak, and beautiful, uplifting poetry, and sometimes even uplifting poetry about struggling.

But you will NEVER find awakening in such shallow emotionality. You see, most people in spirituality are running from emotions, whether of anger, fear, jealousy, paranoia, either towards emptiness, silence and peace, or towards internal energies, bliss Kundalini, and love. This is what Facebook teachers mostly talk about. A few talk about the need to do shadow work concerning your own hatred, judgmentalism, jealousy, authoritarianism, etc. But not many talk about the plain day to day pain or the suffering they feel, the deadness, depression or anger.

You see, the way I teach is to own that anger, depression, sadness, hatred, jealousy, feel it 100% to incorporate that emotional energy into your practice which makes you come alive. And on the other side of all strong emotions is a river of bliss. Pass all the way through the emotions you are rejecting and you will find increased life and bliss.

You are either a sticker or a runner. Runners may become stickers once they are fed up with running, avoiding, and superficial kindness, acceptance, and good feelings, and are ready to dive into the darkness and pain inside. Don’t fear the pain. Don’t fear depression. Don’t fear loss. Don’t fear separation. Don’t fear your own anger and hate. Dom’t fear jealousy and neediness. Fully accept your complete humanity, not just a fragile, good feeling emptiness or forced positive self-talk.

THEN you will be able to feel the real depths of transformative, divine love. This kind of love is rare and very scary at first. I have heard it said that most people never allow themselves to feel even 10% of the love for another they could feel from fear of the intensity of this kind of love.

In addition, you have to abandon any idea you have ever read about in spirituality and fight the urge to read new books looking for new teachings and concepts. You know, it is the hardest thing to escape past spiritual learning, and even harder to cast off the personal opinions you have had as to who and what you are. These are best lost by dwelling in emptiness for a while, seeing no purpose, no meaning, no truth in any concept. The old story of coming to a teacher: come with emptiness; come with an empty cup, with receptivity, and not as a challenge.

July 20, 2013

Entirely new topic. There is some confusion as to how what I teach fits together. Self-inquiry, either the Ramana form, or abiding in it and loving it, has the end the self-realization that the seeker, the seer is you, but where you have been looking is not you. The sought, the Self, is the seeker. With this you become one with everything, space, the Void and every phenomena within it. However, the approach of love has a different end: the realization of your divine nature, full of bliss, ecstasy, the light of Consciousness, beingness, along with a sense of absolute humility and submission/surrender to that which is greater than you. And with it, the descent of the most amazing grace, completion and love. This is the realization of Turiya, Satchitananda, lovebliss. However, the object of love needs to elicit a different kind of love than normally what humans mean by love. It is altogether beyond anything you have experienced before, and usually requires the presence of someone who totally rests in that state, or a person who is resting at the edge of a bottomless abyss of this ecstatic love, who requires only a little push to fall in and sink.

July 21, 2013

SOME STAY IN THE BACKGROUND Many stay in the background at Satsang, or stay even further behind just reading this blog. They may never have a real teacher an perhaps never a deep love relationship, for such are too frightening and challenging. What to do> Love them, accept them. Sometimes they find it easier to establish closer relationships with other members of the sangha, and that is their entry to returning to love. TO ME: “Hello Ed, My tendency is to sit in the back row, like I do in satsangs with you, not saying anything or risking engagement. With your help, I have located the sense of happiness, which is sometimes blissful. However, I usually cannot maintain it in the presence of others, at least not for long. I experience that happiness "internally", but not expressively. There is no love in that bliss, except perhaps in a generalized, non-personal way. So even these experiences of happiness become justifications for not engaging others. That happiness seems to decrease to the degree I engage. My paranoid reaction to this is that I believe people "take" or "block" that happiness to the degree that I engage them at all. Solution: stay in the back row. Likewise, I don't know how to engage you authentically or how to ask authentic questions, if there are such things. I've written to you previously, mostly about "the void behind", which was my preoccupation. I knew even then that I asked those questions wanting not merely a verbal response, but some validation from you or some indication that my question revealed I was special or advanced. Now, I don't feel much compelled to ask questions, as any verbal answer is only just that. But that too provides me the necessary internal justification to stay quiet and remote in the back row, seemingly safe and unseen. What I'm describing is obviously different than your directive to "shut the fuck up". This is characterological, full of the narcissistic tendencies you wrote about recently. Even though I can see this, I'm left in a bind– I cannot seem to engage you authentically, and sitting in the back serves primarily as a defense against such engagement. I move slightly toward you and then immediately pull back at any perceived slight and take up my customary position. I vacillate between envy of the circle of regulars around you, but then I feel relieved not to have to deal with the relational shit you describe in your recent post. Of course, I do this not only in relation to you, but to all others. (Also, since my computer camera and microphone don't work, I have a

fine excuse to remain in the shadows. The many sound and connection problems at online satsangs also provide good cover.) I struggle even to stay in the room, much less to enter the fray of relating and inevitable injury. I feel stuck, or maybe I'm unwilling to feel any more vulnerable. I'm at the point where it seems the only viable spiritual path is to sit in the company of a realizer, but I feel that something more is required on my part. I don't want to love because I feel that I only lose love in trying to connect, that energy is only taken from me, and that the happiness I experience must be denied and sacrificed to feed ravenous others. Since this happiness is too precious for me to allow those losses, I remain where I am, feeling my hidden occasional happinesses, my internalized blisses, my private experiences of spaciousness, expansion, and release. But none of these are realization."

July 26, 2013

GOING BEYOND KINDERGARTEN AWAKENING The most common Advaita or neo Advaita teachings circulating on the Internet, is an experience of realizing No-Self, or no separate self. This is taken as the final truth by many. No self, nothing needs to be done, for there is no self to do anything. Life and the world just unfold, and the witness is in utter peace, therefore the unfolding is judged to be perfect. There is no way “I” can effect any change on the unfolding, because “I” do not exist. Here, “I” is perceived to be merely a story or multiple sets of stories that involve memories, ideals, patterns of living, beliefs about oneself, and oneself embedded in culture and society. When these stories are seen as empty beliefs, concepts, one suddenly “becomes” the containing space of all inner and outer objects. In this state the phenomenal universe, including the body/mind, is seen as a continuous, unbounded oneness, with the body/mind embedded in an empty matrix of space. I, emptiness, and the world are one. They are not separate. However, this is kindergarten realization, only a first step. Later, by looking into the inner/outer void one can discover two different selves totally unrelated to the “I” that was destroyed above. Within that oneness, the emptiness of the body/mind, one can still feel a sense of self, or I-ness. True, the identification with the stories disappears, but the I-sense remains as a highway to “other” areas of Consciousness that are currently out of our current awareness. Awareness needs to become more subtle to perceive the I-sense, especially after the apparent discovery that the “I”—as inner object, is unreal. One thinks one has destroyed the I and there is nothing more to do, but if “you” continue to peer into that inner emptiness, especially in the area around one’s subjective awareness of one’s own heart, once again you begin to feel the energy of the Self, both of the subtle body energy of the body/mind mechanism, but also the divine aspect of Self, first seen as God or Goddess. The first awakening is only about destroying the power of concepts, ideas and words in your life. The second awakening will be of Self-Realization and a reentry into the world as both the Self-of-All, and the individual awareness arising from the body/mind complex, or individualized self. The first awakening of no-I, no-self, can take two paths: One leads to an identification with the absolute, the mystery knower of all, and even beyond the knower; or it can take the path towards self-realization, and a reentry into the relative world of phenomena.

The Self is traditionally of a two-fold nature: the unmanifest mystery, the noumena, or the Absolute, which is the knowingness; and the manifest Self of the divine and individual aliveness and energy of the body/mind. When, post awakening, the individual experiences that he or she CAN continue to progress in spirituality, and he or she becomes aware of the energy of the self within, as he or she abides in that energy, that feeling of being existent and alive, loving it, feeling it, accepting it, that essence grows and becomes a very solid sense of presence that infuses and pervades one’s felt body mind, almost like the Holy Spirit. Eventually, the aspirant identifies with this sense of presence as self again as opposed to his or her body. I Am becomes this sense of presence. Continuing on in this manner, the OverSelf, or the divine Self, Turiya, Satchitananda, the lovebliss body is recognized as one’s own, and that which energizes the smaller self of the body/mind. When this Self is realized, either gradually or suddenly, and the connection between the body/mind sense of presence, and the divine Self is totally accepted, then one has entered into the beginning of real enlightenment. The gradual unfolding of the unity of God and individual is part of the final phase of full awakening.

July 27, 2013

MY KUNDALINI EXPERIENCES 40 YEARS AGO: My former student, Lila, likes to challenge most every post on Facebook, saying I misunderstand Shakti, Kundalini, etc., and then tells the story of her current unfolding, as if it were different from what I am teaching. This is her way of staying attached to me, yet rebelliously separate. But, as the story of my own three years of Kundalini experience may be relevant for some within the context of Advaita or that of someone on a Bhakta path, I’ll recount a little of it below. Lila asked on FB how I can talk about a Kundalini path, if, as I said, the Kundalini snake ascended up the right spinal channel instead of the central channel, and all Kundalini phenomena disappeared as soon as I went to Mt. Baldy to study with Sasaki Roshi. Her current guide, Jan Esmann, had said if the Kundalini ascended in any channel except the central channel, it was a mistake. My response: Lila, surely I can speak about the three years of Kundalini awakening and experience that happened to me back in the late 1960s. The right channel was only the wrong channel based on something Jan Esmann said. For me, Kundalini ascended in the right channel, and it was painful, especially when it ran into my heart chakra. It repeatedly got stuck there for most of six months or more, and was incredibly painful. Even though the full body of the Kundalini snake could not rise through the heart during that period, some slender strands of energy did continue up my spine, into my brain and skull. Later, the full Kundalini worm bore into my brain and upwards to a point at the top of my skull, and then penetrated through my skull into the space above. At this point, the Kundlini began circulating downwards, through my face, into my heart, gut and root chakra. It arose in the root chakra, ascended into the brain, penetrated the skull and went outwards into the space above, and from there began a return circulation through my forehead, face, mouth, throat, into my heart, and downwards into my gut ending up again in my root chakra. However, it was the other associated experiences which were most remarkable, not the actual Kundalini "snake" itself moving up my spine. I have no evidence that ascending through the right channel was wrong in any way. During this two year period following ascension into my brain, I became extraordinarily sensitive to the earth's electromagnetic field, and to electricity in wires in the walls. I became

very sensitive to the electromagnetics from the coils in the mattress. I had to sleep on the floor. I had to sleep always oriented in a certain way to the earth’s magnetic field. I could see in absolute darkness. It was as if I had infrared vision. A starless, moonless deep black night was as if it were a bright day for me. The moon's energy was cold and blue, and exposure to the moon’s rays seemed to pull the life energies out of me. I had to hide from the moon’s rays around the time of the full moon. I could feel the life energies in trees, grass and plants. I could “commune” with trees and plants, something I can still do today. I could “align” to their energies. The same with animals; I could feel what it was like to be them and to experience their experiences. I had a strong and sustained illusion that I had become a woman giving birth to a truth child. I literally felt the fetus and the birth process. Colors and sounds were vivid and stood out in marked contrast to the way I had experienced them prior to Kundalini. All feelings were intensified also. Everything was intense, because everything was now experienced thoughtlessly, without the filters of mind. I was awash in uncontrolled energies everywhere, inside my body and outside in the environment and I felt assaulted and overwhelmed by them. I didn’t know how to handle their intensity. I did nothing to manipulate these energies, I only experienced them. My practice then was straight Ramana-style, self-inquiry, trying to find the origin of the I-thought. This was my only practice. Almost all of these Kundalini experiences disappeared the day I stepped onto Mt. Baldy, except for occasional movements in the spine and sensitivity to the energies in life forms. What happened then, almost from the first moment of formal sitting in the Zendo, is that I would go into a no-self Samadhi, a unity experience with the totality of the world, within minutes of beginning meditation. This continued for the entire three months I was at Mt. Baldy. “I,” Ed Muzika disappeared, and “I” became the world: the trees, the sound of the wind, the blue sky. I no longer had a body or mind; I was the entirety of space and of everything in space. I was the totality of the world. Thus, the subjective Kundalini experiences vanished, and in its place was the constant experience of space and unity with all phenomena within that space. At Mt. Baldy, I learned to go into samadhi almost immediately, and experienced that hundreds of times when there and thousands after I left. The Kundalini process as experienced then disappeared and became no-self, I am everything experiences. I was well on the way to an identification of me or self with emptiness, the space inside and outside the body, and the phenomena of the world. One more step was to come later with Robert

Adams, which was to obtain a permanent identification with emptiness as a primary identification, and then with that which lies beyond emptiness, the absolute, the noumenal. Lila, it is in this circumstance that I can speak of my Kundalini awakening and experiences over 40 years ago. It is old news. New for you, old news for me. However, during this period I lived in a world of energies, of magic, where the walls and ceiling breathed and was alive. Where everything in nature was radiant and had energies associated with it that gave it a sense of sentience, of personal relatedness to me. In a sense it was all me, but none of it looked or felt like it did before the Kundalini experiences. The entire world was alive, sentient and interacted with me. This is why I find Deeya and Myron’s experiences so enticing, because I lived in that world for three years, and can still feel it around them, once again: the world of magic and cocreation, where it and I were not separate, one experiencing the other, but of collaborative experience.

July 29, 2013

I CREATE DOUBT IN A STUDENT BECAUSE I DO NOT VALIDATE A FAVORITE TEACHER OF HIS: Hi Ed, I hope your surgery recovery is continuing to progress and has revealed new insights to you. I am writing because I have some more questions and thoughts I wanted to put forth to you. First, I have to press you on why you don't recommend Hale Dwoskin. I have now been to 2 of Hale's retreats and had some great experiences there. His teachings have had a great impact on my life. It is peculiar to me that you and him teach such similar things yet appear to not get along. Along with Lester, the 2 teachers he draws the most from are Nisargadatta and Ramana, just like you. He often uses a process similar to the "hunting the I" inquiry that you talk about. Basically he will ask you whose feeling/thought this is. If you are identified with the false center, the answer will come "mine". Then he asks, "In this moment, if you do not go into memory, can you actually find this me?" For me this has often caused my mind to come to a complete stop. Not only do his teachings seem quite effective, but as a person he seems to be very genuine and an embodiment of what he teaches. I have talked to him in private several times, have both praised him and called him out on things, yet his mood never seems to change. He always seems to be in a content, nonchalant state. I've never gotten the sense that he wants anything from me or is ever putting me down or up. His answers to people's questions always seem to be lucid and insightful as well. Most of the retreat he just free styles, letting people bring any issues up and then taking it from there. I write all this to you because when teachers appear to not get along, it arouses resistance in me. It means either one or both of them are not genuine. It calls into question the trust I have placed in teachers or teachings. Does that make any sense? In your last email you said you don't know what Hale teaches these days. How can you not recommend him if you don't even know what he teaches? I don't mean to be too abrupt, but that was a question on my mind after your response. Anyways, I had more questions for you on other topics, but this email is long enough. Thanks for all you do in teaching and helping others. Have a good night, B. Me: You assume that any two "genuine" teachers mostly agree about everything. Hale may help many, but what help? So he was a nice guy to you and spoke clearly? What does that mean? He

is authentic, enlightened, an "spiritual expert?" Your arguments supports the idea that any two articulate experts, that listen and can help someone in any field, must support the expertise of another expert or else clients get confused and don't know who to listen to, or their general faith in experts is called into question. Good. Self-Realization is about uncovering who you are, not who reliable experts are.

July 31, 2013

WHY MASTERS CRITICIZE EACH OTHER: OSHO Beloved Osho I do not understand why enlightened masters are critical of each other. Are they not all working towards the higher good? Are they not different flavors of the same truth? The question you have asked is almost impossible to answer for the simple reason that you are not enlightened yet. You don’t know the ways of the enlightened ones. You don’t know their devices, you don’t know their methods; hence the misunderstanding. An ancient story may help you.... In a great city there were two sweet shops, and one day the owners of both the shops started fighting with each other. Naturally they had no other way to fight, so they started throwing sweets at each other. And the whole city gathered and people were enjoying the sweets that were falling on the street. When two enlightened masters criticize each other it brings tremendous joy to those who can understand. Its taste is just unbelievable. They are not enemies, their fight is not of the ego. Their fight has a totally different context. They fight because they know one thing: that the goal is one, but the paths are many. And each master has to defend his path, knowing perfectly well that other paths are as valid as his. But if he starts saying that all the paths are valid, he will not have the impact, the influence on his people. The journey is long and he needs absolute trust. He is not a philosopher propounding a system of philosophy. His basic concern is that your commitment to the path should be total. To make it total he condemns all other paths, he criticizes all other ways. It is just out of compassion for you. He knows the people on the other path will also reach; and he knows that out of compassion the master on the other path has to criticize him, has to criticize his ways. This is just a simple methodology to protect the disciple from influences that can take him astray. And the mind is very, very clever in going astray. If all the paths are valid, then what is the necessity of commitment? If all the paths are valid, then what is the necessity of being total? If all the paths are valid, then why not travel all the paths, why not go on changing, enjoying different ways, different methods, different sceneries? Each path will pass through different lands; there are paths that will go through the desert, and there are paths which will go through the mountains, and there are paths which will pass through beautiful flowering trees. But if you travel some time on one path and then you change the path, you will have to start

again from ABC. Whatever you have learned on one path is invalid on another path, and if you go on keeping it within you it is going to create tremendous confusion. You are already in a great mess; no master wants you to be more confused! Your mind always wants change. It does not know devotion; it loves fashions, its interest is always in some novelty. So it will go on moving from one path to another path, becoming more and more confused because each path has its own language, each path has its own unique methods, and each master is going to defend his path against all the other paths. If you move on many paths you will collect contradictory arguments; you will become so much divided you will not know what to do. And if it becomes your habit to change paths – because the new has a certain attraction for the mind – you will move a few feet on one path, a few feet on another path, but you will never complete the journey. One day Jalaluddin Rumi took all his students, disciples and devotees to a field. That was his way to teach them things of the beyond, through the examples of the world. He was not a theoretician, he was a very practical man. The disciples were thinking, “What could be the message, going to that faraway field... and why can’t he say it here?” But when they reached the field, they understood that they were wrong and he was right. The farmer seemed to be almost an insane man. He was digging a well in the field – and he had already dug eight incomplete wells. He would go a few feet and then he would find that there was no water. Then he would start digging another well... and the same story was continued. He had destroyed the whole field and he had not yet found water. The master, Jalaluddin Rumi, told his disciples, “Can you understand something? If this man had been total and had put his whole energy into only one well, he would have reached to the deepest sources of water long ago. But the way he is going he will destroy the whole field and he will never be able to make a single well. With so much effort he is simply destroying his own land, and getting more and more frustrated, disappointed: what kind of a desert has he purchased? It is not a desert, but one has to go deep to find the sources of water.” He turned to his disciples and asked them, “Are you going to follow this insane farmer? Sometimes on one path, sometimes on another path, sometimes listening to one, sometimes listening to another... you will collect much knowledge, but all that knowledge is simply junk, because it is not going to give you the enlightenment you were looking for. It is not going to lead you to the waters of eternal life.” Masters enjoy tremendously criticizing others. If the others are really enlightened, they also enjoy being criticized. They know that the purpose of both is the same: to protect the vagrant mind of the disciple. To keep him on one track, they have to deny that there is any other path anywhere that can lead you except this one.

This is not said out of an egoistic attitude; this is said out of love. This is simply a device to make you committed, devoted. The journey is long, the night is long, and if you go astray you can go on round and round for eternity without finding anything. [...] Gautam Buddha criticized the seers of the Vedas, he criticized the seers of the Upanishads, he criticized Mahavira, he criticized everybody that he could find – Krishna, Rama, all the Hindu gods. Continuously for forty years he was criticizing every old scripture, every old prophet, every old savior. But he was not an enemy of anyone. He was criticizing all those people so that you could be unconditioned, so that you could be freed from the clinging with the past which cannot help you. When a living enlightened being is present, he cannot allow you to remain clinging with the dead, which can only be a weight on your heart but cannot become wings for your freedom. It needs tremendous insight and meditative understanding to have a little glimpse of the world of an enlightened person. I have criticized many: only a few of them were enlightened; most of them were simply frauds. The frauds have to be absolutely exposed to humanity. Even those who were enlightened have become only a tradition, a convention, a dead belief. You have to be freed from their grip also, because they cannot help you, they can only hinder your path. They can become your chains, but they cannot become your freedom. I can become your freedom. I am your freedom. When I am gone I hope there may be still courageous people in the world to criticize me, so that I don’t become a hindrance on anybody’s path. And those who will criticize me will not be my enemies; neither am I the enemy of those whom I have criticized. The working of the enlightened masters just has to be understood. You should remember only one word, and that is compassion – compassion for you, compassion for all those who are still not centered in their being, who are still far away from themselves, who have to be called back home.

August 5, 2013

ESMANN AND MUZIKA DIAGLOGUE DETERIORATES JAN ESMANN: Lila, to answer your question without addressing Ed's remarks specifically. Prior to getting Self-realized I believed, like everybody does, that I was the body/mind or consciousness going on in the mind and heart.I believed I was master of my fate and that karma was nonsense. When I got realized I literally burst out: "But this is not me!" and pointed to my chest. Also meaning I am not Jan. Nor am I any of the past lives I witnessed in that instance when Self-realization came to me. I am nothing, have always been nothing and will never be anything but nothing. It is simply not possible otherwise. Assuming you are something is a joke. You can't be Self-realized and believe yourself to be something at the same time. It does not make sense; it is a contradiction of terms. However, after some years living in the void - it took me 20 - you may begin to see the Self in everything and everything as the Self. I see it as Shakti, but Shiva and Shakti are one.However, you can still not say you are something, rather what before was something (tables, chairs, consciousness) is also realized to be void, but now the void is bliss and Shakti. ED MUZIKA: Thanks Jan. Let me say my sequence of experiences were both the same and different. Before my awakening to Self as you describe it, which happened to me in 1995, I had already been a Zen monk for 12 years and was deeply steeped in the Heart Sutra. Form is no other than emptiness, emptiness no other than form. I literally experienced thousands of states where Ed, as a body/disappeared, only to instantaneously become the world. I was the sky, wind and trees, and not a body mind. So, I asked myself, “Which is true? Am I everything without any boundary, or nothing, no body, no mind, or am I Ed?” So I developed the philosophy that form and emptiness were identical; just different phases of each other, with the noumenal being the witness, and consciousness the witnessed. But in 1995 I had 2 awakening experiences. The first was a sudden explosion that I did not exist, I had never existed, nothing had ever existed. All existence was insubstantial forms floating in the Void. Mind did not exist, only

thoughts. There was no entity that the word “I” pointed to. There was only happenings within consciousness that I, as noumena, witnessed. This is what you call self-realization, which is also what Nisaradatta and my teacher call self-realization. My second awakening was even more of the same. I “saw” that Consciousness itself just floated through the Void and did not touch me. Even Consciousness was an illusion and had no effect on who or what I am. I dwelled in this emptiness, with depression, for about 15 years. Then one day I fell in love with a woman, a kind and intensity of love and passion I had never experienced before. This awakened me to the life-force, the energies of life that filled the void. I can’t tell you all the magic I experienced, but the energies were extraordinary. Grace seemed to descend as a golden light. I felt entirely humbled and grateful to the life force. I felt love and energies coursing throughout my sense of presence in many ways, multicolored streams, electrical in nature, vibrations and burning fires. I felt unending, intense love for this woman that turned into an identification of me as Love itself and only love. Then one day after 2 years of this, I was visited by Self. Self, as divine energy, as a super volcano of white light, incredibly powerful and intense energy arose from my belly upwards throughout my body and presence, and I fell to my knees in awe, surrender, love, and utter, utter purity and grace. At first I felt this energy/entity as God, a divine being of immense power, but I also recognized it was me. I was this God energy. And at the same time, I was also the body/mind/presence of Ed Muzika, but without name or form, just an all-embracing sense of presence. This experience repeated many times and stabilized as a continuous awareness of me, as presence, associated with a body/mind, which one might call the immediate or small self, for I felt completely at rest as this localized sentience, but also as me as that god-like source of energy that coursed through my body/mind and sense of presence. Now the bliss and energies are with me most of the time, reminding me of my divine origin of this very ordinary appearing body/mind. Yes, the entire universe seems like an unfolding of Consciousness and impersonal, but I do not

feel/perceive it as separate from me anymore. The entirety of Consciousness seems personal to me now. I explain it using a model that Lila hates, as after realization of the Absolute as noumena, witness, I had a realization of myself as Turiya, Satchitananda, as the root of Consciousness itself ALSO. I am both form and emptiness, not just nothingess as I had felt for decades. It is quite enlivening, and with it a profound sense of joining. I had the thought maybe this is what David Spero means that he feels he is an avatar; maybe he experiences himself as identical with the mother, an incarnation, as did Adi Da. ESMANN: Ed, I have thought about it a bit and I don't think the state you describe is the same as David’s or mine. You don't have the Shakti that David and I have. Sorry. MUZIKA: I didn't say my experiences were like yours or David's. I said I could understand how David could identify with the avatar concept if he felt a divine presence as strongly as I. I find no need to emulate your experience or his. ESMANN: That's fine, Ed. Fortunately I am free of knowing who I am, and I am sure David is also. So let us let it rest here. MUZIKA: Not knowing who you are, is not a freedom Jan. It is an incompletion. You have not turned the corner back into the world and consciousness. But I see Jan, you claim to possess a special state that I do not have and equate that state with having Shakti. This sounds like you do know who you are, and are not free of knowing or not knowing who you are. Then you say you know David’s beingness, and he possesses it, which means you know you both have a certain state, Shakti, which I don’t have. Apparently a very special state, rare to be had, but which can be passed on (sold) by you through Shaktipat. Jan, I tried reading your book, but was forced to stop when it just became a jumble of concepts about page 140. My head was spinning with all the ideas. There is no freedom from the mind in you. You hold onto knowledge. No wonder you can say ending the dominance of mind has nothing to do with Self-Realization. Jan, I think you are very advanced, but not nearly as advanced as you think you are. ESMANN: Ed. If your head spins from reading my book, I can only say I am sorry that your mind is not sufficiently equipped to understand what Self-Realization is. Once that is said, I do not want to be addressed on your private blog and do not want to continue a discussion here.

Please show some respect for other teachers and some common decency. MUZIKA: Jan, it is not a matter on an inability to understand Self-Realization. But it appears for you Self-Realization consists of special states and a whole bunch of empty concepts about karma, ego, Shakti, along with a claim that the indentity principle broke in you. Yet obviously you are still identifying with some special states and a special ability to understand. When you equate your state to that of David Spero, who constantly refers to himself as an avatar, the incarnation of a deity in human form, you are kind of setting yourself up for accusations of narcissism. When you say you have a special state (which you sell through Shaktipat), which I, and I assume most others on earth do not have, then say I don't have the mental power to understand your brilliance, you have lost all the the veneer of respectibility to which you want to retreat now.

August 6, 2013

Is the sentence, "The Mind cannot end the Mind," true or false?

Someone recently said “The mind cannot end the mind.”

On the surface it seems to make sense, and seems to imply any mental effort or spiritual practice will never help you make any “spiritual” progress because the mind cannot step outside itself. In fact, one might say it strengthens the minds grip.

But on whom? Is there something or someone separate from the mind, a true self so to speak, that may be discovered or uncovered by spiritual practices such as meditation, concentration or pondering?

First of all, to say the mind cannot end the mind assumes that the mind is a things and a monolith, such that any action it does only strengthens it making going beyond the mind impossible, and that only grace can allow “you” whoever you are, to find some “true self.”

But is this the case? Actually not.

What do we mean by mind? Certainly thinking, but what else?

Even if we think about it for just a minute, we see the word mind means many things to most of us, not just a single entity. We understand it is a group of prcesses or faculties and not just thinking. It includes an ability to remember. It includes the ability to read, write and understand concepts. It includes the ability to add, subtract and perhaps do advanced math. It includes an ability to plan work or activities the next day. It is that which helps us judge distance and time without a clock or measure, and that which allows us to use clocks and measures to be more accurate. It includes the ability to imagine, as well as get lost in thought or imagination. It includes an ability to listen to, play and compose music, or create visual art. It also includes the ability to concentrate and focus attention. It is that which allows us to isolate a thought or emotion in one’s attention,focus on it, let the emotion or feeling grown and expand and then pass through one. One might say it also includes our concepts of Self and boundaries.

Therefore can we truly say that we cannot use the mind to step outside of hat we thought we were in order to have an expanded or contracted sense of self, of I-ness, or lack of I-ness?

For example, we can use meditation on just relaxing into our experience of the world to find a growing sense of emptiness. We can use it to question all of our beliefs about everything, including who we are. We can use t to isolate an emotion such as love, anger or hate to sink deeply in it and merge with it.

We can use it to isolate the I-am sensation, or else just the sense of I as Ramana taught and follow it backwards into the Self, the Raman I-I. We can definitely use it to control the inner energies and to aid Kundalini experiences through breath control and imaginations. We can use it to control and expand healing energies.

So the sentence, “The mind cannot end the mind” just is wrong. It is a simplistic sentence that seems to make sense at first blush, but upon investigation is found wanting.

August 10, 2013

Ramana’s and Nisargadatta’s Differing Concepts of Self-Realization Ramana Maharshi and Nisargadatta Maharaj were contemporaries in the wisdom tradition known as Advaita Vedanta. However, both entertained profoundly different philosophy of Self, and of what exists, otherwise known as ontology. Many people believe that all enlightened people have exactly the same experience and merely express it differently depending on their background, education, and the people around them. However, this is just an assumption. No one can really know the mind of another or the experience of another except by speculation, or in the cases of some very empathic individuals, by direct experience. However, even if I were to have a direct experience of Ramana Maharshi’s experience, it would still be filtered through my body-mind apparatus, and therefore would never be pure Ramana. Instead of assuming that both of these two great gurus spoke identically in terms of ontology, or more importantly, about the Self, or “Truth,” let us look at what they actually said. The keywords in exploring the ontology of both of these teachers are as follows: ‘I’, ‘self’, ‘Self’, ‘Consciousness’, ‘Turiya’, and ‘Turiyatata’. One of the key differences between Nisargadatta and Ramana, was that for Ramana there was only Consciousness. For Nisargadatta, there was Consciousness and the witness behind Consciousness, the absolute, the noumenal, which was entirely separate from Consciousness. For Ramana there were two I’s, the I of the mind that is destroyed by self inquiry, and the “true” I of the heart, which is experienced when the mind is silent and one rests in one sense of presence in the area of the heart in the body. The locus of concentration/energy, drops from the brain, face, and mouth into the thorax and heart area, entirely quieting the mind. This is called abiding in the Self. For Nisargadatta, in essence, there were three I’s: the I thought; the I of Atman or the witness of the three states of Consciousness found in Turiya; the absolute witness, the noumenal Self, the Self that does not exist in Consciousness, and therefore “exists” prior to Consciousness. For Nisargadatta, following the lead of his teacher Siddharameshwar, enjoined the student practitioner to focus on the inner sense of I am, which usually is first experienced as energy in the area of the heart, and with concentration thereon, grows into a sense of presence. Nisargadatta has the student focus on the sense of I am, then turn around and rests in the sense of I am or abides there in the sense of I am, with a sense of love and acceptance of that I am sense.

Eventually, Nisargadatta states that that sense of I am, almost as a physical presence, disappears, leaving one in the absolute, which is beyond Consciousness, and is the ultimate witness of Consciousness. Ramana somewhat differently has the student concentrate on the I-thought, watching where it arises and where it passes away. If one actually practices this way for a long time, one will actually see the thought as an entity arising out of emptiness and disappearing into emptiness, which he calls Self, Turiya, or the real I as opposed to the false I of the I-thought. That is, for Ramana, the real I is the ground state, feeling of Turiya, which is the basic essence of sentience, or the conscious life force. I believe this is what Nisargadatta calls “beingness.” If we meditate deeper, and watch that I thought disappear into the emptiness, one will find that emptiness is really filled with knowingness, sentience, or a sense of presence. It appears as a lighted presence within oneself, within the empty space that is our inner void, and which, after a time, one takes to be oneself. Ramana calls this the true I. For Nisargadatta, at least in his experience, even Ramana’s true I of Consciousness is illusory, and his true I is the witness which is entirely beyond Consciousness, and which is the noumenal, the absolute, and which can never know itself as object. In other words, the true I is entirely a mystery, and the source from which all of Consciousness arises and passes away. For Ramana, it is different. For him there is only Consciousness. Ramana stated after he had an experience of death and realized that the body dies but Consciousness is not touched by death: “I” am immortal Consciousness. “I” [that is the true I or Self] was reality, the only reality in this momentary state. All conscious activity that was related to my body flowed into this “I.” From that moment all attention was drawn as if by powerful magic to the I or “Self.” The fear of death was permanently extinguished. From this time I remain fully absorbed in the “Self.” You have to realize that Ramana did not actually die. He pretended to die. A fear of death came to him and instead of running from the fear, decided to introspect into it, and pretended to die. He held his breath. He clenched his eyes. I he laid down as a corpse and imagined it was ready to be burned in the fire of cremation. Then it dawned on him that the full power of his own beingness continued to exist unabated. He realized in this moment the separation of Consciousness from the body, and that Consciousness had its own separate life force from the body. It is because of his terrible fear that this experience

that “ordinary Consciousness” was so meaningful. Other people find out that they are not their bodies in other ways, and with somewhat different experiences. For Ramana there was only Consciousness. It was not conceivable to him that there was a noumenal unknowable witness that existed prior to Consciousness. For Ramana there was only Satchitananda, existence-knowledge-bliss. There was nothing outside of existence-knowledge-bliss. That is there was no prior to Consciousness; all that there was, was Consciousness. Nisargadatta would agree that all that there is, is Consciousness. But he would posit the existence of a principal beyond Consciousness that was aware of the coming and going of Consciousness, which he called the Absolute, or the Witness, equivalent to the Western concept of noumena, the unknowable subject of existence, which was not in existence, but beyond it, or prior to it. One might use an analogy of en entity from another dimension who stuck his head into our 4-dimensioanl universe, witnessed it, but was not of it. In his life as a matter of fact, Nisargadatta retreated more and more into this witness state the older and sicker he got, but he stated that for the aspirant who wants to attain Jnana, one cannot ignore Consciousness, which he called “knowingness.” On page 53 of Consciousness and the absolute he states: “the absolute state cannot be explained by words. You are that absolute, the unchanging. “Consciousness, or the knowingness, is homogeneous and one only. When you were in that state of Consciousness, it is all one, all the same, only the expressions are different. “Everything which gets consumed, exhausted, is unreal. Your knowingness will, in due course, be consumed, will disappear, so it can’t be real; but you can’t just dismiss it, you must understand it fully.” In other words, Nisargadatta is saying that Consciousness is unreal and becomes burnt up by life after period of time, but for the purposes of Jnana, self-realization, it cannot be ignored. But self-realization for Nisargadatta meant something entirely different from self-realization for Ramana. For Ramana self-realization is the recognition that you are the entirety of Consciousness arising from your recognition that your essence is the Satchitananda of the Turiya “state,” and also all experiences that arise from and disappear into Turiya. In other words, you are that expanded sense of presence that comes from dwelling in the silence of the heart with the mind held silent, the beingness or presence that experiences everything, and which remains during sleep, waking and dream states. For Ramana everything in the world, everything in your body and mind, reside in that sense of presence, Satchitananda or the real I, or Turiya.

But not for Nisargadatta. He identifies himself with the witness of Consciousness, the witness of I am. In a sense he appears to be identifying with the witness or the real I that Ramana calls Turiya, but Nisargadatta objectifies the witnessing, and makes Consciousness the object, and the absolute the noumenal subject. Concerning this, Robert Adams rejected Nisargadatta’s assumption of the split between the absolute and Ramana’s real I of Turiya, saying that Nisargadatta added unnecessary complications to Ramana’s pure theory. Nisargadatta’s absolute in a sense is a speculation based on the assumption that there must exist a principal which recognizes Consciousness and also the absence of Consciousness which is beyond Consciousness. One can never experience this prior to Consciousness “existence” because it is entirely outside of Consciousness. As Nisargadatta states, one can never witness the witness, one can never witness the absolute, one can only be the absolute. Therefore there can never be any experiential proof of the Absolute, but only a conviction. When one becomes that witness for Nisargadatta, one has attained a level beyond existence and nonexistence, which he states as is one’s true nature, and it is this which he called self-realization. For Ramana on the other hand, self-realization is the experience of Satchitananda, or identification or immersion in Turiya, the real Self, “the only reality.” He stated that “all conscious activity that was related to my body flowed into this I (Turiya). From that moment, all attention was drawn as if by powerful magic to the “I” or the “Self.” For Ramana, self-realization was entirely experiential. He felt the power of the self within, of Turiya, of Satchitananda, and from that moment on was always aware that he was the self. This was the true I. The I did not dissolve as for Nisargadatta, although the false I of the mind did. All things in the world arose from and subsided into the Self. For Nisargadatta, all things arose from and disappeared into the absolute, the noumena. One reconciliation is possible between these two concepts of self-realization is to join them both together, and make Turiya the flip side of the absolute witness, and the absolute witness the flip side of Turiya or essence of Consciousness. In fact, for me this is an essential assumption to explain my own experiences, the first of which was to experience myself as totally separate from the states of Consciousness which came to me, and envelop me, but did not touch me. This is what Robert Adams acknowledged as self-realization in me. In this experience I myself was unknowable; all that “I” knew was the coming and going of states of Consciousness. Without the coming and going of states of Consciousness there would be no awareness of myself as the absolute, apart from Consciousness. It was only through

witnessing Consciousness that I had an existence as a total mystery, as some principle or thing beyond Turiya. In my third awakening experience, I felt an explosion of life force, energy, and bliss arising from within my presence in a constant eruption, with a deep, deep knowing that this was my Self. There was utter and total certainty that this energy, light, bliss and self-recognition was myself. The knowledge was unshakable. Because of the simultaneous presence of visual light, bliss, a sense of profound grace, self-acceptance, surrender, and love, I call this Christ or Krishna Consciousness. This is the complete opposite of my second awakening stated in the previous paragraph. In the second awakening I identified with the untouchable absolute witness just observing Consciousness. In the third awakening, I became the explosion of the light force, of Turiya, Satchitananda, Consciousness on steroids. And I found this awakening far more powerful, riveting, and “enlightening” than either my first or second awakening recognized by Robert Adams. However, exploring Nisargadatta’s works, one reads his first book, Self-Knowledge and Self-Realization, and finds that he is a true Bhakta, filled with love, devotion, and divine energies, and experiences Krishna Consciousness. In fact he talks about Satchitananda and the constant feeling of bliss, surrender to his group, love of his guru, and love of that basic life in a state which he calls the child Consciousness. Thus it may well be that Nisargadatta originally experienced the same awakening as Ramana to the life force, to Turiya with all of his attention fixated on it, and eventually it disappeared, and his identification was no longer with Consciousness, but more and more with the absolute experienced as a profound conviction. He did strongly feel the lessening of his own life force along with the severe pain of his cancer, and practically begged Consciousness to leave him. Not so Ramana. This may be the case, or it may be the case that Nisargadatta was just tired of life in the world and chose to begin to ignore Consciousness and the happenings in Consciousness and created the idea out of a false speculation that there had to be a principal that knew the coming and going of Consciousness which was prior to Consciousness, and which was immortal. For me, I think I have come to express in my own teachings the primacy of Ramana’s saying YES to Consciousness and the life force, as opposed to Nisargadatta more or less dismissing Consciousness and fading away into the noumena, into the hypothetical subject beyond Consciousness. For me, the constant burning explosive awareness that runs through my sense of presence and my body is so powerful, so commanding and inviting at the same time, that my previous existence up until two years ago, and which included 15 years of awakening in a Nisargadatta

style, was all just a dream. Only now when I burn and explode with life energies, my body is acutely attentive to everything, my sense of presence fills my body and the space around me with a different kind of knowing, a knowing through the heart directly rather than through the mind and the brain. To me this is true awakening.

Nisargadatta's ontology varied over time. His early works never talked about the noumenal, the absolute, but of Krishna Consciousness and energies. Then cam I AM THAT where he stepped away from that, to his final books that emphasized the noumenal and the falseness of Consciousness. The real point is, enlightenment experiences vary, the expression varies, and, who was happier?

August 15, 2013

LOVE, DEVOTION, AND SURRENDER AS A PATH TO SELF-REALIZATION Sometimes people will have some sort of opening, awakening, or transcendental experience, and they There are many paths to spiritual “awakenings,” and even more different kinds of “awakenings.” think that is all that there is. They become teachers, and a few years later have another awakening and their teachings change. Sometimes the new teachings completely contradict their old. There are so many teachers who have only a finger-tip awakening, but their false and inflated sense of self forces them to become a teacher of others. I teach Self-Realization, knowing what and who the Self is by means of self-inquiry and love. Self-inquiry is difficult because it is subtle. How to do penetrating self-inquiry is difficult without a guide because the Self, as both noumena (subject) and phenomena (everything else) is so complex and subtle. [There are many models of this Consciousness but the best in my opinion, are those of Siddharameshwar (Nisargadatta’s teacher), and Ramana Maharshi. A thorough understanding of these models can bring a profound rest to the seeker who now has guideposts for practice and food for the hungry mind. Most other Indian models are too steeped in Hindu philosophy or mythology to be of much help to Westerners.] Love is just as direct as self-inquiry, and just as effective in attaining Self-Realization, but it is far more difficult and dangerous to practice because of all the feelings that are aroused. Emotions can become so intense that one feels on the verge of a breakdown or insanity, but this is only the fear of the “ego” that (the me) will be destroyed through the intense love and surrender to another. One finds in following this path, whether of guru love, love of God, love of another, if practiced as a path of self-realization, that the depth of love and devotion will grow far beyond anything you had imagined as your greatest love and devotion in the past. Each new depth brings a fear of total annihilation. But each new depth of surrender achieved begets a larger and larger sense of Self, of aliveness, self-love along with other-love, bliss, ecstasy and completeness. Magic happens the more you love. States of constant bliss and visions of the divine descending and purifying you occur all the time. One becomes one-pointed, fixated on your Beloved, both

without, and also your own Beloved within, the immortal Self and Shakti, the movements of energy and light of Consciousness within you. You begin to realize you are not your body, but you become the love you have for your guru or lover. You are like a divine wind of God. Feelings this bliss and seeing these internal flows of energy and light, your identity shifts from the body to your own sense of presence, which is the sentience or awareness of both your own self as a body/mind, but also the Self within which Consciousness plays its various stories of gods and peoples. This sense of presence, of sentience, life and personal consciousness is recognized as more you than your body, and thus begins your break with the world, and a headlong flight towards the divine. But the path of love is steep and can be filled with fear, because each new depth of surrender and commitment reveals and ever deeper abyss of emptiness, total potential annihilation of the small self, your current identity. The ego fights to maintain its separation and independence, because one has not yet learned to trust God, the divine within. As a pointer, imagine your greatest love of your past, whether for a parent, a guru, or lover, and make it ten times larger. Even this does not approach the love and devotion you need for that total inner transformation of becoming your divine Self. Each level of love grows larger and more fearful in the imagined devastation of the Beloved is lost. Then one day, suddenly, out of nowhere, one’s true Self, the divine within, God, manifests in full form to you as an individual, and you are joined forever in ecstatic union. The terrible fear of destruction becomes a happiness of completion, for you know who you are in total rest and love. You are your body mind in a small way, as part of the manifest world. You also are your now very powerful and grounded sense of presence, centered in your heart, perceiving and loving the world and your own self and Self in complete, ecstatic silence. All fear gone there are no more descents into the abyss of insanity as before because you recognize both the known and the unknown, that before was so fearful, as You. Then, no more fear, only peace and rest.

August 17, 2013

The Truth Is Controversial - Andrew Cohen and the Three Gurus in Dialogue

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZrj283rUvo

I first saw this video 3 years ago while our own Sangha was first building. Shankaranada has been a friend since 1979 when I went to his ashram in Los Angeles. Over the years I got to know several other swamis including Master Charles, Sw. Brahmananda, and Girijinanda, as well as Chidvilasananda and Nityananda, Muktananda's successors. Two or three years ago I met Sw. Chetananda when he came to LA and was much impressed with his heartfelt devotion to his own guru still. At the time I saw this video, I thought these three were a bit overly sensitive and crybabyish. Since then, I have discovered they were really being completely vulnerable and honest. Of all they speak here, I have found to be my own experience. The teacher evolves as much as the student. This dialogue is incredible because usually we only hear about the student's side, the sometimes allegedly "abused" student. Rarely do we hear teachers speak of their own humaness within the hothouse of a sangha. I wish this dialogue were expanded. I especially like what Sw. Chetananda says here.

August 20, 2013

TO ME, from an advanced meditator, much like Rajiv was 4 years ago. Ed, I thought I was using "the subject" in the same sense as you used it when I was last at your house. There's no sense of agency with the subject, so it's not a sense of self as doer. I'm not sure that it's different from the "watcher." But I didn't think we were talking about the "watcher" when we sat in your house. Can you have a subjective sense of the "watcher"? Can you apperceive it ? M. ED: Yes you can. But it is kind of mysterious, much like getting a meeting with the prince in Kafka's Castle. You see the footprints of it everywhere. You feel its presence on the other side of phenomenality. Then one day something happens and "fall back" into the mystery, and suddenly the world reappears in a new light as you realize you have become the Self--at least as an instantiation of sentience within the limitations of flesh, and you always were the self, but did not know it because you expected something different and perhaps more transcendental. Then one day too, you see the Self of All in its infinite glory, and see the oneness of both. The area you are in is very subtle and can be infinitely confusing trying to separate the concepts about what you perceive and the perceptions themselves. They color each other in complex ways that you have to tease out your own self. Later, you will discover that both the direct perception of Self, and your description and concepts about it will change as you grow until you stop talking about it and just rest there as the mystery of you unfolds.

August 22, 2013

BIG SELF; "SMALL SELF"; METHODS OF REALIZATION For almost three years I have modified my teachings to direct seekers away from a “self-realization” that lacks a sense of self, or self-identity, and directs the seeker to merge into the Absolute, the Witness, with the consequent recognition that the world, and anything objective, or phenomenal, is illusory, and is to be ignored. I have directed seekers to use love in the sense of loving the I-sense when practicing self-inquiry or self-abiding, as opposed to merely watching. I have also urged seekers not only to love that self-sense within, but to love others as intensely and creatively as they can as an aid to self-realization, through discovering the Self-of-All within others, which leads to uncovering of the Self within ourselves. I do not wish to engage in ontological discourses or theories, only to expand a range of practices to attain self-realization. Humans, when they love, the way they are constructed as physical beings, is to first intensely love their primary caregiver, usually the mother. They do this through projection of their innate self-love into their first mental object: the primary care giver. At this point the infant has only one object in their world, the mother. Later, over a period of time other objects are created, including the sense of self and the idea of I, sometime before the age of 3-1/2. One should note it is these two objects, the I-thought and the sense of self, or I-sense that gurus immemorial, have told seekers are not the real you. Even overcoming these two obstacles to true self-realization is an extraordinary accomplishment, and flies in the face of a world culture that accepts these two entities as “real.” But through love of another, through the most intense, insane, wonderous, false-self-submerging in the other, we are exposed to our original state of love, that which we routinely project out of what we think to be me into that inner idealized object that accompanies whoever we love deeply, and which can easily be perceived to be the real “me” in the intense love situation. This original state of love is part of the “deepest” state that can be experienced by a human, that of Satchitananda, or the existence-knowledge-bliss of Turiya, the 4th state. And, this level of Consciousness IS accessed during the deepest, most complete and “insane” love for another.

I know detractors will comment that Turiya is not a state, but the basic principle of awareness that underlies the states of waking, dream and sleep. That is true. But it is a subtle distinction indeed, for when resting totally in Satchitananda, none of the other states are existent, except as potential. Now, Nisargadatta, Sidharameshwar and others want you to transcend this Turiya state, to have it submerge into the Absolute, the Witness, the Noumenal of Kant, or the ultimate subject that cannot be seen. This “place” cannot be experienced as an object, one can only be it. This is what many teachers call Self-Realization, where there is no identification with anything phenomenal. There is no identification with the body/mind, bliss or energies, or with Shakti. These are just part of the play of Consciousness which I experience, but are not I. However, I have witnessed myself how disabling such states can be. I have witnessed how this “final” state leaves one detached from the world, unwilling and unable to participate in it, unable to love another, to work for the betterment of others, to not care about the cruelty humanity shows animals and each other due to primary identifications with body and mind. Here we have to make the distinction between the Arhat, or enlightened being that has gone beyond the world into Nirvana, where the self has been snuffed out, where there are no more desires, no longing, no attachment, and the concept of the Bodhisatva, or enlightened being that so cares for the world he or she continues in it, endeavoring daily to help all others, and not to stay in the non-acting peace of Nirvana. Another way Robert Adams used to denote this distinction, was that of comparing the Jnani (or Sage), who had gone beyond the world as had he, and was an Arhat, and the Saint, who lived in God’s bliss, in the light and power of the Divine aspect of Self, actively striving in the world to bring Love and Light. Even though Robert truly was a Jnani, a World-Transcender, an Arhat, often he would show his other side: a desire to help the world. He often said he’d prefer to know one Saint versus knowing six Jnanis. These bringers of light were precious to him. It is for this same reason that I embrace one aspect of Satchitananda, or Turiya, or Self that to me is my guiding first principle: Consciousness Loves Consciousness and Sentience Loves Sentience. I think we all cry out at some point in our life for the love of God to permeate us, which we never know unless we can become as an infant, and submerge in that infant’s pure, total love of the other as primary caregiver, which becomes love of God, Jesus, Guru, or human Lover in the adult seeker.

This experience cannot be had in the Witness state, in going beyond the world, going beyond Satchitananda to the Absolute Witness, but only for completion as a human or Saint, and must be experienced before becoming the Witness as happened to Nisargadatta, and is required by Siddharameshwar. For those who do not experience this state before becoming the Absolute, as was my experience, there must be a return to the place of the Saint, as love/bliss in Satchitananda, in Turiya. Siddharameshwar is explicit in this requirement, that the Jnani, the Sage, must continue to love and worship the Self-Of-All, love/bliss in all of us, Turiya, which is also love for the entire world, the entire manifestation of Consciousness. In fact, my teachings now explicitly avoid attaining the Absolute and emphasize finding the divine within oneself, that divine being our Self-Nature of existence-knowledge-bliss, or lovebliss to borrow a term, where there still is a sense of ownership, of love for the other as a separate example of the Self-of-All in an apparent other human, as guru, spouse, lover, child or parent. We become one family, still compassionately caring for and loving each other, hopefully bringing the light of Turiya, or God and Godess to us all, first as pure Love and acceptance, and then through acts of Surrender and Service. I feel it is our duty, each of us as humans on the way to the snuffing out of Nirvana, to fully involve ourselves in being each other’s keeper, to be a Bringer of Light and love to all sentient beings before moving on to the snuffing out of Nirvana. The state of being a saint has qualities lacking in Nirvana. It is a place of bliss and ecstasies, filled with flowing energies, flowing light within and without, experienced as inner and external auras. It is a state wherein one feels a constant sense of Grace and Gratitude towards Consciousness in all its individual colors and aspects. It brings an intense sense of humility and great love and compassion for the Infinite within us, and for all life forms around us. And, we feel intensely alive, more alive and more filled with energy than we can ever remember. In addition, there is a direct recognition of ourselves as Self, both as a human being in a body, with a mind, but also as an energetic Sense of Presence, which is like an energy glove around and within the body, and with which we primarily identify, instead of the body. In this place, even the experience of intense sadness, depression, anger, loneliness is mitigated by feeling intense joy throughout your body and sense of presence. Joy, light, love and bliss are never more than moments away. All that one has to do is observe whatever emotions or physical problems present, allow ourself to feel them deeply, and then they dissolve in the inner bliss state of Self that is always present.

I cannot tell you enough about how extraordinary this state is, of knowing who you are as an earth-embodied sentient being, but also an extraordinary Presence of the Divine within, which manifest as light, energy, power, attending a sense of total surrender and grace. HOWEVER: I have since discovered there are two aspects of this Self-Realization that I talk about: Realization of the manifest self within our embodied consciousness. But also the Self as an apparent other, as God, savior, Light of the World, the Self-of-All, which is the most extraordinary experience possible for a mortal. I have learned one can realize that self of the individual, as sentience embodied, as it truly is as opposed to who we think we are, using very different means than the loving self-inquiry that I recommend as my primary offered method. This way, in fact is the way of Zen, which is living in no-mind. This is what Seung Sahn means by becoming “dumb as a rock,” One acquires through meditation a state of pure, empty thoughtlessness, No-Mind, and in that state, you become the Self-of-All as embodied in your own mind/body/presence, you might call the small self, or embodied self-nature. (Be aware I am not using these terms in the way any other teacher uses them. You have to apprehend the meaning by the context of this text. Given a year or so, I will be able to explain everything in a clearer way than I can offer now. But those who resonate will understand now.) To attain this state, one needs to find the root of your own beingness, and there are a thousand ways to reach this besides self-inquiry, including use of koans, just sitting meditation of Shikantanza, intense meditation retreats or Sesshin where you are confronted by harsh demands on your body, as well as confrontations with the Zen master. There just are too many methods to be articulated in this short essay. Then there is the second aspect of the type of Self-Realization that I speak of, which is an experience of the Divine Self arising within you, or descending from above. These experiences of surrender, grace, light, infinite power are indescribable, and can be obtained easiest through Love, Devotion, Surrender and acts of Loving Servitude. Some people have an extraordinary fear of the intense and total surrender required for Divine Self-Realization, such that they just cannot surrender to love totally as required. For these disciples I will teach how to awaken to the self of our manifestation, of our sentience embodied in flesh of our unique humanity. This awakening is so much easier than the second awakening to the Divine Self, because the latter requires all sorts of emotional healing and is a dramatically demanding path filled with the

comings and goings of extraordinary states of descending into netherworlds of negativity, followed by ascending into worlds of ecstatic oneness, incredible exploding energies, burning and vibrating energies that feel both incredibly blissful, but can become so powerful that you feel they will destroy you. This path require far more strength of body and mind than required for realizing the individual sense of self, and the training for the latter ultimately prepares one for the former. Be aware, from now on I will offer more methods that just loving self-abiding, and loving another, and thus, for some, will offer a step-wise approach to the type of Self-Realization that I teach.

August 23, 2013

BIG SELF; "SMALL SELF"; METHODS OF REALIZATION For almost three years I have modified my teachings to direct seekers away from a “self-realization” that lacks a sense of self, or self-identity, and directs the seeker to merge into the Absolute, the Witness, with the consequent recognition that the world, and anything objective, or phenomenal, is illusory, and is to be ignored. I have directed seekers to use love in the sense of loving the I-sense when practicing self-inquiry or self-abiding, as opposed to merely watching. I have also urged seekers not only to love that self-sense within, but to love others as intensely and creatively as they can as an aid to self-realization, through discovering the Self-of-All within others, which leads to uncovering of the Self within ourselves. I do not wish to engage in ontological discourses or theories, only to expand a range of practices to attain self-realization. Humans, when they love, the way they are constructed as physical beings, is to first intensely love their primary caregiver, usually the mother. They do this through projection of their innate self-love into their first mental object: the primary care giver. At this point the infant has only one object in their world, the mother. Later, over a period of time other objects are created, including the sense of self and the idea of I, sometime before the age of 3-1/2. One should note it is these two objects, the I-thought and the sense of self, or I-sense that gurus immemorial, have told seekers are not the real you. Even overcoming these two obstacles to true self-realization is an extraordinary accomplishment, and flies in the face of a world culture that accepts these two entities as “real.” But through love of another, through the most intense, insane, wonderous, false-self-submerging in the other, we are exposed to our original state of love, that which we routinely project out of what we think to be me into that inner idealized object that accompanies whoever we love deeply, and which can easily be perceived to be the real “me” in the intense love situation. This original state of love is part of the “deepest” state that can be experienced by a human, that of Satchitananda, or the existence-knowledge-bliss of Turiya, the 4th state. And, this level of Consciousness IS accessed during the deepest, most complete and “insane” love for another.

I know detractors will comment that Turiya is not a state, but the basic principle of awareness that underlies the states of waking, dream and sleep. That is true. But it is a subtle distinction indeed, for when resting totally in Satchitananda, none of the other states are existent, except as potential. Now, Nisargadatta, Sidharameshwar and others want you to transcend this Turiya state, to have it submerge into the Absolute, the Witness, the Noumenal of Kant, or the ultimate subject that cannot be seen. This “place” cannot be experienced as an object, one can only be it. This is what many teachers call Self-Realization, where there is no identification with anything phenomenal. There is no identification with the body/mind, bliss or energies, or with Shakti. These are just part of the play of Consciousness which I experience, but are not I. However, I have witnessed myself how disabling such states can be. I have witnessed how this “final” state leaves one detached from the world, unwilling and unable to participate in it, unable to love another, to work for the betterment of others, to not care about the cruelty humanity shows animals and each other due to primary identifications with body and mind. Here we have to make the distinction between the Arhat, or enlightened being that has gone beyond the world into Nirvana, where the self has been snuffed out, where there are no more desires, no longing, no attachment, and the concept of the Bodhisatva, or enlightened being that so cares for the world he or she continues in it, endeavoring daily to help all others, and not to stay in the non-acting peace of Nirvana. Another way Robert Adams used to denote this distinction, was that of comparing the Jnani (or Sage), who had gone beyond the world as had he, and was an Arhat, and the Saint, who lived in God’s bliss, in the light and power of the Divine aspect of Self, actively striving in the world to bring Love and Light. Even though Robert truly was a Jnani, a World-Transcender, an Arhat, often he would show his other side: a desire to help the world. He often said he’d prefer to know one Saint versus knowing six Jnanis. These bringers of light were precious to him. It is for this same reason that I embrace one aspect of Satchitananda, or Turiya, or Self that to me is my guiding first principle: Consciousness Loves Consciousness and Sentience Loves Sentience. I think we all cry out at some point in our life for the love of God to permeate us, which we never know unless we can become as an infant, and submerge in that infant’s pure, total love of the other as primary caregiver, which becomes love of God, Jesus, Guru, or human Lover in the adult seeker.

This experience cannot be had in the Witness state, in going beyond the world, going beyond Satchitananda to the Absolute Witness, but only for completion as a human or Saint, and must be experienced before becoming the Witness as happened to Nisargadatta, and is required by Siddharameshwar. For those who do not experience this state before becoming the Absolute, as was my experience, there must be a return to the place of the Saint, as love/bliss in Satchitananda, in Turiya. Siddharameshwar is explicit in this requirement, that the Jnani, the Sage, must continue to love and worship the Self-Of-All, love/bliss in all of us, Turiya, which is also love for the entire world, the entire manifestation of Consciousness. In fact, my teachings now explicitly avoid attaining the Absolute and emphasize finding the divine within oneself, that divine being our Self-Nature of existence-knowledge-bliss, or lovebliss to borrow a term, where there still is a sense of ownership, of love for the other as a separate example of the Self-of-All in an apparent other human, as guru, spouse, lover, child or parent. We become one family, still compassionately caring for and loving each other, hopefully bringing the light of Turiya, or God and Godess to us all, first as pure Love and acceptance, and then through acts of Surrender and Service. I feel it is our duty, each of us as humans on the way to the snuffing out of Nirvana, to fully involve ourselves in being each other’s keeper, to be a Bringer of Light and love to all sentient beings before moving on to the snuffing out of Nirvana. The state of being a saint has qualities lacking in Nirvana. It is a place of bliss and ecstasies, filled with flowing energies, flowing light within and without, experienced as inner and external auras. It is a state wherein one feels a constant sense of Grace and Gratitude towards Consciousness in all its individual colors and aspects. It brings an intense sense of humility and great love and compassion for the Infinite within us, and for all life forms around us. And, we feel intensely alive, more alive and more filled with energy than we can ever remember. In addition, there is a direct recognition of ourselves as Self, both as a human being in a body, with a mind, but also as an energetic Sense of Presence, which is like an energy glove around and within the body, and with which we primarily identify, instead of the body. In this place, even the experience of intense sadness, depression, anger, loneliness is mitigated by feeling intense joy throughout your body and sense of presence. Joy, light, love and bliss are never more than moments away. All that one has to do is observe whatever emotions or physical problems present, allow ourself to feel them deeply, and then they

dissolve in the inner bliss state of Self that is always present. I cannot tell you enough about how extraordinary this state is, of knowing who you are as an earth-embodied sentient being, but also an extraordinary Presence of the Divine within, which manifest as light, energy, power, attending a sense of total surrender and grace. HOWEVER: I have since discovered there are two aspects of this Self-Realization that I talk about: Realization of the manifest self within our embodied consciousness. But also the Self as an apparent other, as God, savior, Light of the World, the Self-of-All, which is the most extraordinary experience possible for a mortal. I have learned one can realize that self of the individual, as sentience embodied, as it truly is as opposed to who we think we are, using very different means than the loving self-inquiry that I recommend as my primary offered method. This way, in fact is the way of Zen, which is living in no-mind. This is what Seung Sahn means by becoming “dumb as a rock,” One acquires through meditation a state of pure, empty thoughtlessness, No-Mind, and in that state, you become the Self-of-All as embodied in your own mind/body/presence, you might call the small self, or embodied self-nature. (Be aware I am not using these terms in the way any other teacher uses them. You have to apprehend the meaning by the context of this text. Given a year or so, I will be able to explain everything in a clearer way than I can offer now. But those who resonate will understand now.) To attain this state, one needs to find the root of your own beingness, and there are a thousand ways to reach this besides self-inquiry, including use of koans, just sitting meditation of Shikantanza, intense meditation retreats or Sesshin where you are confronted by harsh demands on your body, as well as confrontations with the Zen master. There just are too many methods to be articulated in this short essay. Then there is the second aspect of the type of Self-Realization that I speak of, which is an experience of the Divine Self arising within you, or descending from above. These experiences of surrender, grace, light, infinite power are indescribable, and can be obtained easiest through Love, Devotion, Surrender and acts of Loving Servitude. Some people have an extraordinary fear of the intense and total surrender required for Divine Self-Realization, such that they just cannot surrender to love totally as required. For these disciples I will teach how to awaken to the self of our manifestation, of our sentience embodied in flesh of our unique humanity.

This awakening is so much easier than the second awakening to the Divine Self, because the latter requires all sorts of emotional healing and is a dramatically demanding path filled with the comings and goings of extraordinary states of descending into netherworlds of negativity, followed by ascending into worlds of ecstatic oneness, incredible exploding energies, burning and vibrating energies that feel both incredibly blissful, but can become so powerful that you feel they will destroy you. This path require far more strength of body and mind than required for realizing the individual sense of self, and the training for the latter ultimately prepares one for the former. Be aware, from now on I will offer more methods that just loving self-abiding, and loving another, and thus, for some, will offer a step-wise approach to the type of Self-Realization that I teach.

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o Newton Rocha Tio Nitro, Heloïse St-Flaceau, Max T. Powers and 17 others like this.

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Minie Soham Saran This needs more closer introspection .. I am reading it slowly and will be writing to you w my thoughts .. Thank you for sharing Ed

16 hours ago via mobile · Like · 2

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Ed Muzika Thank you Soham.

16 hours ago · Like

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Shane Dyke Deepest gratitude Beloved Edji

15 hours ago · Like · 4

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Susie Burrows thank you for sharing

15 hours ago · Like · 1

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Newton Rocha Tio Nitro No-self and the all-self, the "not this, not this" and the "and this, and this". Beautifully written Ed, a new phase of your teaching blossoms. More heart is always the way!

15 hours ago · Like · 3

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William Samuel Woodsong Journals Yes, yes, me too, I found this to be so for me also. it is such a Wonder and a Joy to find this Beautiful Love again. It's what I think the original meaning the Bible about being Born Again, or coming alive again from the dead, or the resurrection is really all about. Thanks for this important one! Sandy

13 hours ago · Like · 2

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Celio Nunes Leite Edji, Deepest Gratitude for those golden Teachings.

12 hours ago · Like · 2

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David Hollyfield Awsome! I've had to copy and paste this, to read and re-read until I have digested it fully...

12 hours ago · Like · 1

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Linda Anderson Edji, this is so needed

11 hours ago · Like

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Janet Beier Tibetan Buddhists say "There are two ways to view this. The wrong way is to see emptiness as nothingness or a black hole, while the right understanding, seeing space as alive, and intelligent and rich, removes all suffering and brings forth our full freedom and joy."

11 hours ago via mobile · Edited · Like · 1

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Linda Anderson sentience embodied

11 hours ago · Like · 1

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Ed Muzika About "this" Janet. What is "this?" And what is your experience versus "Tibetan Buddhists say?" Janet, you had a strong self-realization experience 17 months ago in Peru. You know exactly what I am talking about or should....See More

10 hours ago · Like · 2

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Ed Muzika Yes, a quality of sentience embodied, and an experience entirely out of the range of those with too much collectivization and false understanding.

10 hours ago · Like · 2

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Linda Anderson ?? I once heard nirvakalpa samadi amrita. can't explain... it seemed to be embodied.... any ideas on this. I can't explain tho it semed embodied and beyond

10 hours ago · Like

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Janet Beier By 'this' I think it was meant the different way people view/interpret emptiness and void in a very annihilating way.

10 hours ago via mobile · Like

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Ed Muzika I cannot speak for all, but for many years I experience the void first as a heavy, dark emptiness, which gradually gave way to an inner light, and enveloped all as a container for my inner world. The light was everywherer, and emptiness became subtle....See More

10 hours ago · Like · 4

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Janet Beier Ed, I am more lost than ever. States come and go for me but the love remains.

10 hours ago via mobile · Like · 2

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Ed Muzika Beautiful! Far fewer illusions to confuse you in the future. Thank you for who your were and are.

10 hours ago · Like · 1

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Janet Beier I bow to you.

10 hours ago via mobile · Like · 1

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Ed Muzika and I to you!

10 hours ago · Like · 1

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Janet Beier In response to your comment about needing to go more into emptiness I have began a rigorous Buddist practice. It's very difficult but I am determined to walk the path.

10 hours ago via mobile · Edited · Like · 1

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Ed Muzika I do not know your teacher of his teachings, but good luck. But I would ask, are you clear about what you want? This is a key. If you know what you want, it helps clarify your steps. If not, you are in your teachers hands to guide you and hopefully you have the same end in sight, even if you cannot see your desired end. You have led a charmed life, hopefully it will continue that way.

10 hours ago · Like · 2

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David Hollyfield Swarupa dooper!

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Janet Beier Ed, I want all beings to be free of suffering.

4 hours ago via mobile · Like · 1

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Shane Sheila I'm in !

3 hours ago via mobile · Like · 2

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Max T. Powers "The second awakening to the Divine Self [...]requires all sorts of emotional healing and is a dramatically demanding path filled with the comings and goings of extraordinary states of descending into netherworlds of negativity, followed by ascending i...See More

3 hours ago · Like · 1

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Joel Rumbolo The whole path has been spontaneous. I don' see where any chooses were made except the choice-less choice to be diligent in practice. Much love for all the teachers and words of truth Joel

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Jeremy Pollina Thanks Edji , Love

August 27, 2013

You would not follow many gurus if you saw how they truly lived or were in person.

Most of you have ideas of how “advanced” or not so advanced spiritual people should live, and if they don’t, you shun them, and perhaps rightly so in many cases. In other cases, you shun them to your detriment.

If you knew how thy lived, how they interacted with students and family REALLY, as opposed to their writings or Facebook posts, you would be confused or dismayed, because almost none comport themselves as you think they should.

You must remember they are not much different from you. There are some differences, some major and some minor. For one thing, they do not take the mind seriously. Thoughts are a very minor distraction and they do not take their own, or other people’s stories as real.

Therefore, they tend to be less agitated than the beginning seeker who is driven by all kinds of emotions and ideas about what he or she should be doing. They tend to spend more time alone, immersed in the fullness of their own emptiness, which can take the form of bliss, ecstatic energies, or sheer peacefulness. That is, they can be quite boring unless you can feel their beingness.

But most of them, if they did not have robes or habitually wear white clothing or dohtis, would pass as very ordinary people, but sometimes with bizarre behaviors and mental qualities.

Some eat meat, like Nisargadatta and many Tibetan Lamas, some smoke, again like Nisargadatta and others, a great many indulge in sex with their students, many are sharp businessmen who milk their teacher status for recognition and money, some are frankly psychotic or manic depressive, some are alcoholics, some are frank liars who tell lies as easily as maple leaves fall from trees in the fall.

Some cheat on their wives and are never caught because they keep everything hidden and silent. Some forceably abuse their students financially or sexually, and the list is long here. Many are “schizoid” meaning they avoid deep relationships out of fear of being destroyed by their intensity or the neediness generated.

Some get intensely angry and argumentative. Some are mild mannered but withdrawn. Some watch television too much in some people’s POV. Some do almost nothing because they are lost in their own peacefulness or bliss.

Some talk a lot and are very vulnerable about how they feel. Others are very silent and secretive, and hide all sorts of things behind their silence, so much so it would curdle your toes to learn of what they do.

IN ALL OF THE TEACHERS YOU SEE OUT THERE, ONLY A HANDFULL RE SELF-REALIZED, AND THEY ARE ALMOST INDISTINGUISHABLE FROM ANY OTHER TEACHER OUT THERE IN TERMS OF THEIR TEACHINGS, WRITINGS, OR BEHAVIORS.

THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A FAKE TEACHER AND A REAL ONE IS THAT THEY KNOW WHO THEY ARE, BOTH AS A HUMAN BEING, BUT ALSO AS AN INCARNATION OF THE DIVINE IN HUMAN FORM. MANY FAKE TEACHERS HAVE POWERS, SIDDHIS, AND CAN CONVEY BLISS TO OTHERS, BUT STILL ARE NOT REALIZED.

I will give you a few hints as to whom to avoid, or approach with extreme caution, and those who you can better trust.

1. Avoid those who emphasize silence and are very secretive. They are probably hiding something. If they cannot share their hearts personally in private and in public, avoid them. They do not allow themselves to appear vulnerable or open. They do not want you to see who they really are as humans and instead erect a shield of guru specialness and “papal” invulnerability. And what they hide, if you found out, could curdle your toes.

2. Avoid those who speak often of love, but you do not feel it in their presence.

3. Avoid those who are too withdrawn or intellectual, and who talk of being above others and have special powers or status. Some, like Da Free John and others talk about being an avatar, a divine incarnation, and hold themselves apart and above other teachers. These teachers may have Shakti, but they are deluded. In fact, every one of you reading this has the aspect in you of being a divine incarnation—everyone. A true teacher tries to show that to you in you.

4. Avoid very formal teachers who stand behind rituals, rankings, formality because that is likely all that they have. A true teacher is very open to informality and engaging you at your level, unless of course, he or she feels you would be a poor fit for their style.

5. Avoid teachers that have complicated methods leading to progressive realizations, because they do not get to the heart of self-realization soon enough. You could take forever to get anywhere, so methods should be aimed not at control, or focusing, but at self-realization in the moment, but not in the simplistic sense of just recognizing your beingness in the here-and-now as do the neo-Advaitins, for you will NEVER reach self-realization that way.

6. Avoid those who talk too much. They just gab and gab about useless things. They do not have a clue.

Remember, there is absolutely no difference between you and any teacher except he or she knows who they are and are only interested in showing you that—or I should say that is their primary interest. Gurus are human, but hopefully use their humanity in relationship to teach others to discover who they are.

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o You, Deborah Deeya Gair, Newton Rocha Tio Nitro, Max T. Powers and 38 others like this.

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Carole Luby thats amazing. What prompted you to write this Ed?

August 27 at 2:38pm · Like · 2

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Ed Muzika There are a shitload of bad teachers out there, and I am getting fed up.

August 27 at 2:40pm · Like · 8

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Carole Luby fair enough. There are also a shitload of students!

August 27 at 2:41pm · Like · 2

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Janet Beier Ed, if you were to pick a teacher now, who would you pick? Would you pick yourself?

August 27 at 2:46pm · Edited · Like · 2

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Carole Luby who me, Janet?

August 27 at 2:45pm · Like

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Matthew Brown Hi Edji, Lovely post.

August 27 at 2:46pm · Like

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Janet Beier Carole, not sure what your question is? If I were asking you?

August 27 at 2:47pm · Like

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Carole Luby yes janet.

August 27 at 2:47pm · Like · 1

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Carole Luby http://youtu.be/Gavnn9ufuEo

NO SUCH THING AS UNCONDITIONED MIND

www.youtube.com

no_unconditioned_mind_150.rm.ram

August 27 at 2:47pm · Like · 2

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Brian Adler great post!

August 27 at 2:50pm · Like · 1

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Adriane Amana Alcalá Moss Very good. Rings true.

August 27 at 2:55pm via mobile · Like · 1

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Brad Jensen ... and then there's computer gurus. Most of us don't really care about their beliefs or what goes on in their personal lives

August 27 at 3:01pm · Like · 1

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Ed Muzika Janet, if I say yes, I would appear immodest. If I say not, I would appear inept. But if I were to do it all over again, I would not pick Robert Adams as my teacher nor those in the Ramana tradition. The way is too slow and too filled with traps that can really damage you. I would choose someone with a Bhaktic approach. I would avoid the energy gurus that emphasize Shaktipat only, because it gets too impersonal, qand fast. I would choose someone who walked both paths of Bhakti and Jnana, and who knew him or her self as, at least as the manifestation in consciousness, and possibly also as the absolute or witness. I would avoid all Neo-advaitins as hopelessly lost with kindergarten teachings. I don't know Wolinsky very well, and don't know whether he made the turn to acceopting himself also as Consciousness, as human too, and not just as witness. The witness guys tend to act out their human desires unconsciously. I would avoid Esmann because I think he is deeply deluded and very impersonal. I would have avoided Papaji and Mooji. They are like pablum, feel good walkers on the surface. I LIKE FRANCIS BENNET FOR HIS CANDOR, OPENNESS. i LIKE STUART SOVATSKY FOR HIS AGE AND EXPERIENCE AS WELL AS METHODOLOGY. If Jean dunn had other close students, I might suggest them. In fact Janet, you have great teacher potential in you as soon as your self-realization experiences stick. I really don't care for pure kundalini teachers at all. Too much into Shakti, and they are often unstable. DESPITE THAT, I REALLY, REALLY LIKE CHETANANDA IN PORTLAND. His humility and helpfulness in relation to me has won respect. He speaks from his heart as much as anyone else I know. He has transcended Muktananda's and Rudi's teachings. And I would recommend myself only in the sense that I know myself, I know who I am, and that is what I want to give people, and I am honest, and raely just bullshit people. But there may be

other teachers where awakening comes faster, but of course I have no statistics on this. My blog speaks for itself in terms of advanced and not-so-advanced students.

August 27 at 3:27pm · Like · 8

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Adriane Amana Alcalá Moss I (HEART) Stuart Sovatsky!

August 27 at 3:29pm via mobile · Like · 1

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Sabrina Page Excellent advice, I especially love "That is, they can be quite boring unless you can feel their beingness."

August 27 at 3:35pm · Like · 1

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Ed Muzika I have not forgotten you Swami Adi Narayan, it is just that I do not know you well enough yet. That Stuart visits you is a strong afirmation, but I need to meet you first.

August 27 at 3:38pm · Like · 1

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Max T. Powers Thank you Ed, very helpful post! Unfortuantely I think at a time when I would really have needed this, I just wouldn't have believed you or thought you were deluded or not "fully" realized. Now I believe you with ease, and I'm glad I don't need to look for purple unicorn raunbow shit masters anymore...

August 27 at 3:51pm · Like · 2

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Carole Luby Janet. I didn't at first see that you were addressing Ed for the question.

August 27 at 3:58pm · Like · 2

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Anthea Wichman Wöw thanks for sharing Ed appreciate!

August 27 at 4:04pm via mobile · Like · 1

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Ed Muzika Like I said Janet, I do not know your teacher or his teachings, so I can say absolutely nothing about him.

August 27 at 4:06pm · Like · 1

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Ruby Ryan ...very well explained guru. may I add a tincy bit...pure unadulterated pining for God/self is more important than everything else...Within that all kinds of bullshit is spared. You get what your sights are on. Never to take your eye off the ball. keeping your gaze fixed on SELF, for if you don't, it will go all wrong places such as distrust, greed, sexual expotation etc etc etc. Wiith unflagging commitent to Self, firstly there is a certainity no dodgy guru will be bumped into. ...and if that did happen, it will turn out that they came about only to teach you how not to be. All good, within no bullshit zone of your own commitment It is you who ultimately choose, where you are heading...no one else! No one else, only you!

August 27 at 4:14pm · Like · 3

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Ed Muzika That is true: single fixation of God, or guru, or a lover if he or she is advanced, can do the same.

August 27 at 4:23pm · Like · 3

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Jerson Kilafwasru here kitty kitty..

August 27 at 4:35pm via mobile · Like · 1

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Janet Beier Thanks for your answer Ed. Yes Ruby, if only all of us were so fixated on God and Self none of us would be so confused as to who is real and who is a fake guru.

August 27 at 4:42pm · Edited · Like · 3

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Swami Adi Narayan Ji My beloved Ed Muzika, I have felt much of what you have said. When we look at the tomfoolery that goes on in the world of spirituality, we come upon the fact the God meets us at the level of our true commitment to Him. All those who have been hoisted high upon false pedestals, will meet the nights of transformation. They will be tested, and will sink or swim, based upon the good and truth that has been alighted in their hearts. Let us pray that our hearts are true and pure, and that we reach the destination of our longing.

August 27 at 11:18pm · Edited · Like · 11

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Ed Muzika Janet, reach way down deep in your heart. Reach into your heart of hearts. What do you feel? All the teachers you have been with. All that you have read about. Where is the truth, for you. Do not answer to me or anyone out here. Only to you.

August 27 at 6:23pm · Like · 3

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Christopher Mulle Absolutely fantastic....thank you Ed

August 27 at 7:01pm via mobile · Like · 1

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Maria Brill That was nourishing words.

August 27 at 7:56pm · Like

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Brad Hahnes A wonderful understanding Ed, thank you for sharing your insights. Sound suggestions.

August 27 at 9:20pm via mobile · Like

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Ed Muzika Swami Ji. You see, that is a truism. It is something you tell a child when you don't understand the mechanisms. It is a reason given to do nothing, improve nothing. Everyone gets the proper teacher, so rest easy. That is like saying everyone gets the life they deserve, the auto mechanic appropriate to their material attainment, the education they are ready for. This is pure fatalism. I refuse to accept a world where is is OK to kill 30 billion animals a year for food and fur, or where thousands of children die each day of disease and starvation. This offends my sense of justice.

August 27 at 10:37pm · Like · 4

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Ed Muzika I take that back what I said about Jans. He is not deeply deluded and his experiences genuine. But he appears highly judgmental and self-involved.

August 27 at 10:39pm · Like · 1

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Swami Adi Narayan Ji It is not as you say for in the world of Guru's and teachers I have seen these very mechanisms alive and well Ed. We are not talking about social injustices but one in which people are convincing others of God's providence in them for which they know full well they have not been gifted with as yet. But are in love with fame, power, illusions so blinding that they blind others by there very ignorance and keep them away from there true selves. This Spirit works Her own laws of justice that are very real and alive. To play with the heart and spirit of mankind through the use of the name of guru is a most of grievous errors and Spirit always intercedes, this is my firm belief.

August 27 at 10:50pm · Like · 3

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Troy Of-Is Bullshit "there are only a handful of self-realized teachers" I doubt that completely.

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Troy Of-Is You're also being a guru by making this post, so it doesn't make sense. You're telling people what to avoid with authority and authority doesn't work. People have to discover for themselves. Why waste your time? There are no teachers who have fucking 'siddhis' that's all bullshit and no one can convey bliss, that's all a bunch of crap and the fact that you wrote that shows you're a complete fake.

Yesterday at 12:24am · Like

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J Creig Coogan A fascinating post! You calls it like you sees it, no time for bullshit! Like...

Yesterday at 12:26am · Like

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Ed Muzika Troy, you have no idea about siddhis. They are quite common even among those who have practiced spiritual practices many years. And, of course those who do experience bliss can

convey it. People feel it by a kind of resonance. Ask my studnets during satsang. As any students of Jan Esman or David Spero. Ask the swamis that were around Muktananda or his swamis. Through transmission or through love, the inner Void, the emptiness becomes filled with the bliss of Turiya, the basic "state" for a better word, of consciousness. Ask Lila Sterling. Ask Janet Beier. Ask Deeya Gair. All have so experienced conveyed bliss and Deeya at least can give it to others.

Yesterday at 1:48am · Like · 6

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Susan Culverwell What are we here for? To realise we are Love. To extend Love. To live in Love. Love is Who and What we all are. To continue to remove these ego Blocks to my awareness of Loves presence is my job on earth. How simple is that

Yesterday at 10:48am via mobile · Like · 1

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Ed Muzika Susan, that is your ethos. Many do not think love has anything to do with awakening. There generally is very little love in Buddhism except for the Tantric branches. It is all about emptiness and form, Void and the Manifest. But I agree with you.

Yesterday at 2:18pm · Like · 1

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Ed Muzika Swami Ji, I do not doubt they will meet their just rewards if they are false teachers. I am concened with the crowded marketplace of teachers. I am concerned about students who do not know which way to turn. So I don't think it is just something to drop and not talk about.

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Ed Muzika When I came to LA in 1971, I was dropped in an area that had seven active Japanese and Korean Zen Masters of the last generation. I took from each's bowl but also lost my way among the various teachings: Too many koans, too many different styles, too many different humans delivering different messages. It was confusing and I made no progress. I became a dilettante, feasting at too many tables. I burned out and went to Muktananda where I found a lot of love missing in Zen. I also was with Dhyan Yogi, a Shaktipat guru. By this time, I had nothing left except emptiness. No love; no understanding; no realization; no self to be found. Only a vast emptiness extending everywhere. But then, out of the blue came Robert Adams who I immediately knew was my guru. He spoke to my understanding, but observing him, I saw he lived in a different world. I wanted that. I stayed with him 8 years and had two awakenings, both classic Advaita in the style that Robert preached, as did Nisargadatta. I stayed in emptiness another 15 years. Just emptiness. Just witnessing Consciousness, feeling great peace, but there was no Self here. I found my self, both as a human and as an embodiment of the divine when love came to me. This brought true self-realization, recognition by the Witness of the Manifest self of the individual embodiment, and God who stands behind, guides and powers each. Therefore I teach just one thing: self-knowledge and self-realization. And, like Nisargadatta who wrote the book, "Self-Knowledge and Self Realization," I am very public about my actual experiences, and how those experiences generated the teachings I offer. I hide nothing. A student of mine triggered my Self-Realization. To her I will always be grateful and loving. It is her gift of love that shines in me as Self-Realization now, and all that I want to do is give that experience to others. In our Sangha, there are many who feel the bliss and love. Some only during Satsang. For others, it pervades their life. I think I will be careful to name them for fear of starting another controversy.

23 hours ago · Like

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Hari Shirdi To stand with both feet on earth and to be with the heart in heaven will help to find the Master in all , in THAT what realy is.It can happen to find a Master in human form.The Master has to open yourself for THAT, what is never dieing, because what h...See More

23 hours ago · Like

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Chris Waller What ever else one can say about you Ed, I think some of your writings are clear, honest and heartfelt. Some of them on occasion made me cringe but some others come from a good place. Some are brilliant. Thanks

22 hours ago · Like · 1

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August 29, 2013

NISARGADATTA IN A NUTSHELL: Nisargadatta is difficult to understand because he steps entirely outside the box of objects and phenomenal entities, and instead talks about us as being a functioning arising out of the body/mind complex and the chemicals of life. You can appreciate this if you carefully read the three books of Jean Dunn, Maharaj’s final talks. He asks you “Who were you before you were born?” You respond, “I don’t know.” He replies, “You must have been there to know you don’t know.” This sounds ridiculous. It sounds like he is saying you must have been there in time, a hundred years ago. Is he saying this? Yes and no. He asks, “Who were you after you awoke but before you were self conscious.” He then says, “Right now trace yourself back to that No-I state, before knowing you exist.” What are you then? You find a thoughtless mind that is not self aware. It is not aware of objects or anything else. It is not aware of birds singing even while birds are singing. It is not yet aware of the pain in your shoulder from yesterday’s tennis game. You are not yet aware even of your full bladder. Everything is perceived, but nothing is know or understood. This is true no-mind, no-knowing. Then what happens? Self-Consciousness arises along with the feeling of ‘me’ and the I-thought. Then you think, I need to pee and you go pee. It is the arising of this self-consciousness, I, to which Maharaj refers to as Maya, illusion. And in what way? In that it touches everything that was impersonal in consciousness with the I-feeling. Consciousness becomes everything that is manifested. Nothing exists outside of Consciousness. Only consciousness is. But, at one moment there was nothing. The next moment awareness arose without self

awareness. Then self-awareness arose. He calls this knowledge or knowingness. Now Nisargadatta makes a giant leap. He said while tracing his awareness back to the pre-I-Am state, there was just awareness. What is it that became self-aware? This is the fundamental question. His conclusion was that the ultimate “entity” is that which knew Consciousness but itself was not consciousness. He says the fundamental quality of the I-Am is knowledge and on the flip side, ignorance or no-knowledge, such as your true self 100 years before you were born. You ask many questions about Consciousness and spirituality he says, but the asker, knowledge, is also knowledge itself. You, as the manifest, are knowledge. Later on knowledge of specifics is added on. In other places he says you are the principle by which things are known. Thus, you are not the body or the mind. You are not all the objects in the world, all its people, animals and events. You are the knowledge that things are happening, and knowledge cannot be perceived, it is the perceiver of knowledge. Then he takes one step further and says you are the knower of the knowledge, but as the principle of knowing itself. As the manifest, in the world, you are knowledge; as the Unmanifest, you are that which knows knowledge and that there can be an absence of knowledge, which is true nothingness. As the principle that is aware of Consciousness aqs well as its absence, you are beyond mind and any perceptions. You cannot know yourself as an entity. What you do know, he says, with the full force of your awareness is the I Am. Find the I Am, stay there. Love the I Am, for everything in the universe flows from that I-Am’s arising after awakening. So he describes in many ways the I Am and Consciousness, its energy and attributes. It is the totality of the dynamic of Consciousness manifest in a million ways, and to the devotee of the I Am, as bliss, ecstasy, love, and the sure knowledge that you exist. You are the manifest universe, including God or Krishna or Christ Consciousness. To know this the knower must rest in the I-Am and totally know all aspects of Consciousness. Then, he said, for him the personal, the sense of I gradually got weaker and weaker until the last year of his life it disappeared altogether.

But he says, do not be in a hurry to destroy the I, because Consciousness and its awareness is all the “capital you have.” When it is gone, everything is gone. Puff!!! And then you as the principle of knowing must wait for another body to be born into before once again you have self-knowledge, the I-Am. This does not mean that you, as Tom, Dick, or Sarah is reborn, for that particular I-Am died with the body/mind. But the principle of knowing, a ghost, a chemical, impersonal, awaits for its birth in a new body, whether worm, elephant, or human. That universal ability to know, that principle is the “eternal you,” but it has nothing personal in it. I want you to understand is that I use different terms for the same meaning. Instead of saying you are that which knows, the function of knowing, I say you are the subject, the knower, but not of this world. You are like an entity from a different dimension staring through a membrane into our universe, experiencing it, but not of it, not touched by it. And instead of saying, “Trace yourself backwards to that which you were before the I Am arose,” I say, which Maharaj says at other times, “Find your sense of I-Am, your sense of me. Stay there. Reside in that sense. Be open to it in wonder, with love and appreciation.” You will find the I-sense flowers, grows into a solid sense of presence, bliss, and constantly moving energy along with the concrete conviction of who you are. Without a doubt you will know who you are. You will become solid and immovable, but at the same time, the energetic source of the universe. You will become Consciousness—all of it.

August 30, 2013

I HAVE PROBLEMS WITH SELF-INQUIRY AS TAUGHT BY ROBERT ADAMS AND SOMETIMES BY RAMANA. NEITHER EVER PRACTICED THIS KIND OF SELF-INQUIRY BEFORE THEY AWOKE. I have a real problem with the method of self-inquiry as promulgated by Robert Adams, and often by Ramana, and that is you can get lost; lost in the perceived emptiness of the Subtle Body, or in the comfort of knowing nothing in the Causal Body where there is no self-awareness, only awareness. Practicing This way, asking "Who and I?" and waiting for an answer, or following the I-thought to where it appears or disappears is much like practicing a Mantra. It is only to empty the mind, and Self-Realization of the Jnana sort can arise from an empty mind alone, it can also arise in other ways. The problem with following the I-thought is that it arises from one's perceived emptiness and disappears into emptiness. A few years of doing this and you will identify with emptiness and become a shell with no emotions and no motivation for life. This can gradually give way to identification with the witness of emptiness, or the Absolute. You become a pure passenger watching the phenomena of your life pass by. Such is how Nisargadatta described his current state in his last book, "Consciousness and the Absolute." But I ask, is this what you want? Peace, rest? Or would you rather know yourself as Consciousness and the energy, drive and force of Consciousness, the Shakti? Would you rather know yourself as love, bliss, and embodied energy acting out thee will of God, or as Nothingness? Would you rather be an observer or a 100% participant in life? This is the difference between the Bhakta and the Jnani or Sage. The way of the Bhakta is filled with sound and fury, divine love followed by deep despair, followed by being wracked first by deep bliss often felt as orgasmic, with a high sexual tension, and then followed by physical pain of a tensed body, unfulfilled desires, and a deep longing for both fulfillment and rest at the same time? The way of unity with Consciousness is obtained through love and surrender to another, whether God, Guru, Lover or other, whether their path is pure Bhakti, or awakening the Kundalini or Shakti. It is dualistic.

September 2, 2013

When it comes to love, if you want to make it really meaningful and transformative, you just got to forget all your fears about being destroyed, consumed in the flame of love, and just go for it. BUT MOST PEOPLE DON'T; THEY HOVER JUST BEYOND THE EDGE OF ITS FORCE FIELD AND NEVER GET TAKEN BY GOD.

September 7, 2013

I was delighted to receive three students at my home Friday at noon. They arrived just as I tuned into Deeya's Kindle My Heart's Flame, and we all sat listening while I explained about the need for love and welcoming when practicing self-inquiry, or better self-abiding. We did some guided meditation where everyone looked for the I Am, then fixated on it. Two of the male students, for the first time, located the I Am energy in their hearts, and in both energies moved outwards into their bodies. The woman not only felt the I am, but perceived it as blue light as bliss energies circulated throughout her body for an hour and a half. Michael felt a blast of love and later a 2 second blast of blis, while I felt great happiness to be able to help them find the beginning of the path of Self-Realization through love and Subtle Body energies--of course with the help of Robert and Deeya's kindle hour of silent sitting, listening to chanting. I explained the difference between Devotional Advaita, and classical Advaita of Shankara and Robert, and this is an evolution fitting for certain kinds of people, embracing perhaps a larger audience, giving them happiness, bliss, and a sure knowledge of who they are.

September 11, 2013

CONVERSATIONS ABOUT THE WITNESS (ABSOLUTE) BY A STUDENT AND ED Ed, Just finished sitting (practicing with the I AM). My question, though, is about working with the subject. I took the point you made a few emails ago. That I'm at a point where I will have to explore matters for myself. So I don't know how much help I can expect from you. Still, writing helps me get clearer about my practice and gives you some indication of where I am at. I asked before about the possibility of being aware of the subject as subject. Here's how it seems to me. It seems to me that in meditation I can become aware of myself as a subject—or in any case aware of a subject I identify with. This is not awareness of self as object. It is a distinct subjective awareness of the subject. I think this falls under what Kant calls 'apperception'. Apperceptive awareness of the self is pretty bare. It's just the awareness of a subject as a subject Okay, now, here's where the question comes in. You asked if what I was calling "the subject" was "the witness." I hesitated. The reason I hesitated is that I thought that there was supposed to be no awareness of the witness, subjective or objective, except perhaps for what you call "seeing the footprints of the witness" and "feeling the presence of the witness on the other side of phenomenality. So I guess I'm wondering if there's a subject distinct or distinguishable from the witness. One thing that would distinguish this subject-that-is-not-the-witness from the witness proper is the subject-that-is-not-the-witness proper is not noumenal (there's apperceptive access to it, which is to say, a kind of conscious access, a kind of awareness of it.) Look, I'm not freaking out about this. I don't feel I have to have an answer to practice. But this is a question I have. M. RESPONSE: Yes, precisely the wording I use: "Apperceive." The witness, the subject, is not an object nor does it have the feel of an intuition. It certainly is not just an intellectual, logical or inferential knowing. Intellectual knowing is of an entirely different category. Intellectual knowing has a quality of "clarity" because it is created by the rules of knowing of the mind. Apperception is far from clear. Yet is is a knowing of sorts, just one never recognized before as a separate category. A different

sort of knowing. Try this on to ponder: Perhaps apperception is the Witness itself knowing it exists because the mind--an aspect of consciousness--it being witnessed by the Witness, the subject, therefore it feels it must exist as part of the relationship of knowing and the knower. In other words, apperception of the subject is a feeling of a knowing by the subject itself, and is not of the seeking mind. Chew on that for a bit. However, there is one more step and it is a big one and that is to become the witness, with the big AHAH! that follows. I'll leave that to you. Who are you then? Ed

MORE ON SELF-INQUIRY AND BHAKTI--LOVE Just because your mind is a constant companion, does not mean it is you. By “you”, I mean your fundamental state. The mind is added on. How many times have you caught yourself doing things and there was nothing on your mind? No thoughts, images, or feelings? Remember, mind is witnessed by you, or can be when you make an effort to watch the mind. Is the witness merely a split off part of the mind as Jiddhu Krishnamurti claims, or is it an entirely different functioning within Consciousness, or is it beyond Consciousness altogether as claimed by Nisargadatta and Immanuel Kant? Here is a question to ponder: Who is the seeker looking for the Self? Is it the Witness itself, the subject, the Self, trying to understand its own existential nature? Or, is it the mind who has read many spiritual texts that say you must try to understand or discover who you are? Is it only a big trick foisted upon us by mischievous gurus? That is, is the whole self-realization by self-inquiry trip just a joke? Or, is the mind first made aware by these teachers, that you do not know who you are? You have been too busy with the world to ever turn that intelligence inwards to find out who and what you were? All of self-inquiry is aimed precisely at self-discovery, discovering the subjective aspects of Self that one grasps after your attention is turned inwards. Self-inquiry is JUST about turning inwards, turning your attention into your inner world instead of the external world, because

eventually you will find that the entirety of the external world is just a projection of your internal world and your ideas about the external world. You will eventually discover first hand, not as an idea offered by some guru in a book, that the world you perceive “out there” is really created by internal, “in-here” processes you never were aware of before. What a discovery! The world you perceive, the world you see, hear, taste and touch, is totally created in your subjectivity! You are, so to speak, King of your world, not merely a pawn. Change your subjectivity and you change the world you live in. This is easier said than done, but when you know this key, you no longer feel small, finite, easily killed, injured, or otherwise destroyed. I am not saying an external world does not exist. I am saying that the external world that you live in, is an illusion and has nothing to do with the external world you have never really seen because of your ignorance of the “real,” or noumenal external world. The world you live in is a co-creation of the real world and the world you lay on top of it with your senses, based on a lifetime of being taught about what the world is like by parents and schooling. Have you ever taken a class at any level of school that questions what the external world is really like? Maybe if you studied ontology and epistemology in college in a philosophy course, but even then, was more than a month of reading of idealist-leaning philosophers ever explored? Physics classes turn the “real” world into a conceptual world of emptiness, atoms, electrons, sub-atomic particles, quantum phenomena, and invisible curved space. None of this is observed through the senses. It is speculation back by repeatable experiments which conjecturally “prove” the existence of invisible phenomena based on inference. The world of science is not directly observable. Now we cannot directly perceive matter as it is in itself, nor the world of science. We only know our perceptions and the concepts that help create the world we see. One method of self-inquiry, and a very difficult and slow path, is to “deconstruct” all the ideas we have about ourselves as humans, as sentient beings, and as the Self and Witness. As long as we have ideas about any of this subject matter we cannot know the subject matter as directly as possible. A new path that I have created in the sense that I use phenomena that others have long observed and used to change the world, can also be used to discover who and what the self is, and that is to

direct the student of Self to explore various “levels of consciousness” within the complex matrix of Consciousness that is “us” and BEYOND “us.” I direct such to explore their Subtle Body phenomena, which are all of the conscious and unconscious phenomena associated with being a sentient being, such as: feeling the body from inside, feeling the energetic body or sense of presence, feeling various kinds of energies, intensities and flow patterns, perceiving the inner emptiness or voids and what they are like, emotions, images, thoughts, and most importantly, the feeling of self, of I-Am. This complex exploration can take many years, or a very short time depending on you, depending on your spiritual maturity, your preciseness of focus and how awakened your spiritual intelligence is. However, I direct students to explore this Subtle Body with LOVE, because love has an enormous power to focus all one’s energies on the object of love and the experience of love itself. When one can love someone or something intensely, arousing extremely intense love, one’s total beingness becomes like a laser, self-absorbed by the object, then the love itself in merger, and then the discovery that you are love itself. That is your one and only property---for a time, that will allow you to go “deeper” into more esoteric and subtle “layers” of your own awareness. All of this is covered in great detail in Siddharameshwar’s book, “Masters of Self-Realization” available on Amazon. Really, you only need to read the 85 or so page introduction several times to understand better my approach. Not that I follow his approach that closely, but he presents a model I use to take people to Self-Realization through love, by practicing self-inquiry with a loving, accepting, open, and wondering attitude towards Self, which because of the laser-like ability of love to focus attention, speeds the whole Self-Realization process. Also, Siddharameshwar does not emphasize love of another as much as I do as an aid to self-realization, whether it is love of God as an idea or experience, love of guru, or love on another. Love of an “outer” other is a very natural path in itself, Bhakti Yoga, but it can seamlessly be used alongside self-inquiry to discover who you are."

September 12, 2013

The Guru There is far more to a guru than the spiritual experiences he or she has had and the interpretations they give them. There are so many spiritual experiences that everyone has, ranging from the spectacular, but meaningless, to the usual crowd of experiences that most everyone has over many years of training: various sorts of inner emptinesses or Voids in one’s inner, subjective world, bliss experiences, awareness of one’s sense of presence as being separate from the body, various kinds of love experiences of Consciousness itself as well as of objects, experiences of God, awareness of flowing energies within, sometimes with attending colors and emotions, devotional experiences, surrender experiences, initiation and Shaktipat experiences, etc. In my traditions, Self-Realization experiences of two sorts, of the manifest self of an embodied, energetic being with a full range of affect and humanity, associated with a divine aspect of witnessing the dynamic power core of the universe which is the divine. Then there is the realization of the Self as beyond Consciousness, the Absolute, the Witness, ParaBrahman, untouched by anything in Consciousness, beyond even immortality. Then there is the Self-Realization of Zen, as a human being immersed in the world as an energetic being in existence, but also being a “man of no rank,” untouched by the world, untouched even by love or death, totally at home with his or her life, no matter how mundane or outwardly grand. THERE ARE ALL THESE KINDS OF EXPEIENCES A GURU OR TEACHER MAY HAVE, BUT THERE IS MUCH MORE TO THEM THAN JUST THEIR SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCES. THERE ARE THE INTERPRETATIONS AND EXPLANATIONS THEY GIVE THESE EXPERIENCES. THIS IS THE ATTENDING PHILOSOPHY THAT EXPLAINS WHAT THEY MEAN. There also are the methods he or she uses to bring their students to realization of their realization, ranging from an infinite number of meditations and techniques, from the Just Sitting of Soto Zen, to the Koans of Rinzai Zen, to Vipassana of the Theravadins, to the meditations on the various kinds of emptiness of some Tibetan schools. Other teachers focus on the energy body, or Subtle Body awakening the internal flows of energy and visualizations, Kundalini, the use of love of the Guru or another as an awakening device.

The more experienced teachers use “cooking,” to help awakening students by frustrating them, or acting in ways contrary to their deep beliefs as to how awakened being should act, or by exposing their inner conflicts, rage, anger, jealousy, and pride that prevent their free-flowing manifestation. There are so MANY people posing as teachers or healers that have not been cooked enough. They remain fragilely self-defended, and ill at ease with themselves. Lastly, the Guru is much more than any and all of these. He or she brings 30, 40 and even 60 years of training to the table in his role as spiritual teacher with students. There are so many current “teachers” who have had a couple of awakening experiences and immediately become teachers, traveling the world with tip of the iceberg awakening experiences, and extremely shallow understandings of various spiritual states, the human mind, and of human emotions. I am talking about the entire current crop of spiritual teachers who have had five or ten years of self-inquiry, or have had a few experiences, and set themselves up as teachers. You see, a real guru is someone who has actively explored his or her beingness for 30 years or more and who has studied under one teacher for many years, and who has met and studied under many other teachers. This person has seen it all, so to speak, and embraces spirituality as a life-style, not just one or more awakening experience. This person has lived with and seen Gurus, great and not so great, famous and not so famous, and has no illusions about how a Guru will or should act. The teacher has been cooked by many gurus and has penetrated at least one tradition very deeply as a devotee, a student open to learning, and who has interacted with hundreds or thousands of other seekers through the years, practiced decades of meditation, chanting and Mantras, Kriya Yoga, pranayama and other yogic practices. He or she is not stuck in the after effects of a single awakening experience, but has had many large awakenings, and maybe dozens or hundreds of small awakenings. This teacher is recognized by a teacher by masters because of his or her stability, seasoning, ability to tolerate disasters and munificence equally. He or she may be legendary of outbreaks of rage, such as Muktananda, and to a degree, Seung Sahn Soen Sah, or a paradigm of calm acceptance of whatever arises, like Thich Thien-An. What they have that is different from lesser teachers is a long lifetime of experience dealing with other teachers, other traditions, and with hundreds if not thousands of students. It is rare to be able to study under someone like this, like Robert Adams with 55 years of post-awakening experiences and 17 years of traveling in India studying under dozens of other

masters. It is rare to be able to study under a Maezumi with 40 or 50 years of study and practice as a sixth generation Zen master in his own family. It is rare to get close to a great teacher like Muktananda who was a master of cooking thousands of students and awakening them with Shaktipat and other methods. Being with a master is not only with a person who can help you “awakening” to aspects of who and what you are, but who can provide exposure to an entire lifestyle of living. A Guru is not only someone who can help you discover yourself, but also gives you a way of living and being with others that is entirely different form a conventional life: a Guru also gives a lifestyle model, whether you totally accept it or not, a lifestyle of self-assured, grounded, manifestations of the power of a realized, embodied living truth of a tradition. So many of the new teachers never had a teacher, they just read books and “realized” who they were from books or a chance exposure to one or two teachers. They have not been cooked or tested. They have not been stressed by a teacher to their limits and beyond. They have not had their “realizations” matured by adding decades of life and teaching experiences. Some of these older teachers never trained under teachers, feel their life experiences along with their own, solipsistic cogitations, make them a guru, although they avoid that label like the plague. If I were to choose a teacher though, and just beginning, I would pick someone at least 50 years old who has had at least 30 years on the path, and who is well-received by other mature teachers. Then stay with that teacher a long while. Imbibe everything. Soak up what he or she has to offer before moving away. Don’t waste your time with immature and self-proclaimed teachers unless you accept them only like you would a college instructor, as someone just a step or two ahead of you. Real teachers may be very hard to live with because they constantly expose things in you that you are terrified to see: rage, fear of annihilation and death of self, jealousy, vulnerability, feeling clumsy and inept. All these things you will feel around a good teacher, one who presses you, tests you, fries you in your own arrogance and self-proclaimed specialness. Do you have the courage? Good luck!

September 21, 2013

Who Am I? I ask my students to practice loving, accepting “abidance” into one’s sense of I Am, often first grasped as energy in one’s chest, in the area of the heart. Finding it, concentrating on it, wondering about its nature and how it arose, then lovingly abiding in the I Am sense will lead eventually to Self-Realization. Self-Realization is a discovery outside of the mind and thinking about who you are. It is not a transcendental experience outside of Consciousness, but a recognition by Consciousness of its own nature within the confines of an embodied being—you. Self-Realization is simultaneously an experience and an understanding, both of which are difficult to describe because any words used are words of the world and worldly experience, and thus when heard, will convey different meanings to the Self-Realized, and to the non-Realized. Yet, somehow I am required to point towards that state/knowledge of Realization even if just to give the seeker encouragement that there is more to an awakened Consciousness than to one that has not awakened. One of the first realizations that flow from Self-Realization is that you are not your physical body. Instead, you are no thing, you are Consciousness itself which contains everything but is not a thing itself. Your first identification after rejecting your body as the totality of you, is recognizing yourself as a Subtle Body, an envelope of energetic presence that arises from long-term meditation on the I-Am sensation. This subtle body is the energetic “presence” through which all of the individual’s energies flow as healing energies, bliss, ecstasies, heat phenomena, vibrations and internal sensations of all sorts. It permeates the entire physical body and extends into the physical world as an “energetic body.” The Subtle Body is the home of all imaginations and imaging, thoughts and mind, memories and all emotions. The Subtle Body can affect the physical body and vice-versa, but really is a whole different level of existence. It is also home to the experience of emptiness or the various Voids of the Buddhists. I will not say much about the next level, the Causal Body, except that it is the place of awareness without self-awareness. You are aware, but not aware of the world, or even aware that you are

aware. There is no self-awareness, and no world-awareness. It is pure awareness with no object or self-awareness of being aware. The deepest level of Consciousness is a “state” wherein you are aware that you exist, that you are consciousness, and you rest in light and bliss. Your “nature” at this level of experience is of being light, energy, and bliss. This state is always present permeating the gross and Subtle bodies, in the waking state, in dream and in deep sleep. It is always here, but you need to experience it in exclusivity of other states in order to recognize and hold onto it while in the gross, Subtle, or Causal bodies. Not everyone will experience these four bodies or any such progression. There are other paths to several different sorts of Self-Realization. This is a guide to the kind of Self-Realization of which I speak, as sentience embodied in an individual existence with divine roots. Many people complain that by providing such a model, I doom students to a fixed path. I have not found this to be the case. I have found that those not suited for this path, drift away to someone else teaching experiences and a path they better understand. This is a very subtle path not given much to simplification. Everything I say, everything, is not Truth, but a pointer to different kinds of spiritual experiences and interpretations. As another pointer, I’ll state what I experience now, which is more or less my prevailing experience. I do not NEED to look within, because always part of my attention is fixed inwards towards the Subtle, Causal and Turiya “bodies,” which are really just aspects of an embodied Consciousness. But if I do, when I look “within,” I “see” and “feel” a vast emptiness, an illuminated inner world of vast spaciousness that extends inwards and backwards into a background of ecstatic bliss. When I feel this bliss, I find it extends everywhere inside and outside, but “vibrates” and deeply affects the area near my physical heart, but it is not in the physical heart, but the sense of presence that penetrates my physical heart. The more I fix on that bliss, the more it grabs me and the more powerful it feels. That bliss then flows outwards through my hands and head into the world, and downwards into my legs and feet into the ground. In the background, as I “feel” and “see” deep inside, I see a wall of light, bright white light, which when I focus on it becomes pure ecstasy. My presence and body becomes gripped in an ecstatic embrace and I can hardly move for fear of ending that state. Washing through me during all of this is the knowledge that I am home. This is me, ecstatic Consciousness as a localized sentient being. This is what I am: Consciousness, existence, bliss. Everything else is secondary to this primary experience and recognition. There is complete delight in one’s own self experience.

There is much more than this, but I thought it enough to describe this base state without going into more nuances, such as the interplay between the “divine” and the individual, the descent of grace, and love as the key to Self-Realization.

September 23, 2013

NISARGADATTA QUOTE ON DEVOTION TO YOUR TEACHER: "Nowadays people are full of intellectual conceit. They have no faith in the ancient traditional practices leading up to Self-Knowledge. They want everything served to them on a platter. The path of Knowledge makes sense to them and because of that they may want to practice it. They will then find that it requires more concentration than they can muster and, slowly becoming humble, they will finally take up easier practices like repetition of a mantra or worship of a form. Slowly the belief in a Power greater than themselves will dawn on them and a taste for devotion will sprout in their heart. Then only will it be possible for them to attain purity of mind and concentration. The conceited have to go a very round-about way. Therefore I say that devotion is good enough for you," Maharaj concluded. The evening saw me back in Maharaj 's room. He asked me to sit near him. Though I had known him only for a few hours, I felt as if I were his own child, that he was my mother or father. A European came and put a large currency note in front of Maharaj. "Please take it back. I am not interested in anyone's money. My son is over there and he is feeding me and looking after my needs. With great difficulty I sat and watched what went on until 7 o'clock. I felt fully satisfied and peaceful and thought that I could not possibly get anything more than Maharaj had told me. I thought of going the next day back to Arunachala [the holy mountain behind Ramanashramam on the northwest side of Tiruvannamalai]. I mentioned it to him and asked him for his blessings. "If you feel like that, then you may go. Do you know what my blessing is for you? Until you leave your body, may you have full devotion and surrender to your Guru." Maharaj looked at me compassionately. Moved at his kindness I started to cry but controlled myself. Even then a few tears trickled down my cheeks. He smiled and gave me a piece of fruit. He then got up and, taking a huge pair of cymbals, started to sing devotional songs in praise of his Guru. --Earl Rosner, Road to Freedom; Chapter 6

September 25, 2013

CLARITY OF PURPOSE IN SPIRITUALITY More than anything else, clarity of purpose is the most important possession of the sincere spiritual seeker. What is it that you are seeking? Are you seeking knowledge of something or another, of Self or of God? Or, are you seeking some sort of experience, an imagined “awakening” experience, an imagined enlightenment? Have you any idea of what “awakening” or “enlightenment” are? Are you seeking something about which you know nothing? Or, are you seeking love, and if love, love of what? Are you seeking to experience yourself as love, or are you seeking an object to love, whether of an abstraction such as God or guru, or love of a specific other? If you seek knowledge or love, you are in for a tough ride because you can find knowledge and love everywhere, but unless it is the correct type of knowledge, or the correct object of love, you will suffer from the proverbial 10,000 cuts torture. Ultimately there is only one kind of knowledge that will satisfy the spiritual seeker: knowledge of who and what you are, knowledge of the Self. But even knowing this does not help much because there are 100,000 books and scriptures all describing Self from one viewpoint or another, and several thousands of teachers selling knowledge of the Self or of the manifest or unmanifest worlds. But this kind of knowledge will never satisfy you because it is borrowed knowledge learned from someone else. It is not your own knowledge arrived at by your own efforts and of your own devices. Such borrowed knowledge, whether it is of Christ, Buddha, Nisargadatta, or Ramana will never, ever satisfy you as long as it is a belief, even a strong belief, so strong we call it conviction. Worse than that, there is a great divide through all of spirituality between those who say there is no self or no separate self, and those who not only claim there is a Self, but that they experience that sense of self at all times. I admit, for most of my adult life I struggled to understand not only what others meant by the word “self,” but whether I could detect any Self within my subjective experience. I almost

always fell into the no-self, no-I camp for half a century. For half a century I struggled to understand not only the many various concepts of self and no-self, but the experience of Self as a state or an event. For almost 50 years I had no knowledge of Self or self even after seven years of analytic psychotherapy, psychoanalysis, decades of meditation, self-inquiry, Kundalini experiences, study under six Zen masters, Muktananda, and Robert Adams. For decades I was lost, clueless about Self and no self. In Zen, which was my beginning point, there is no Self, there is no I, no I Am. The I and I Am are seen to be just words and when looking within, no thing, no I can be found. There is no inner entity of Self anywhere to be found. The only Truth is that there is no Truth, and the closest to truth one can come in words is expressed in the Heart Sutra: form is emptiness, emptiness is form; feeling, thought, and Consciousness itself are also like this. That is, there is no self-caused enduring substance or entity, for all such ultimately disappear into emptiness, and beyond that into nothingness—no Consciousness. This is a very insecure place. There is no certainty except of continually unfolding uncertainty, no self, no truth. On the other side of the spirituality universe we have the vast majority of seekers who are utterly confused because of the incredible diversity of spiritual teachings, most of which contradict other teachings. Many teachings are self-contradictory even within themselves, so the seeker franticly reads even more spiritual works to gain certainty rather than to endure the heavy and oppressive uncertainty of the confused. What are these people to do? Read more books or to stop reading and read the only book that is important: themselves. In 1995 I had two “awakening” experiences regarding who I was and which are described on my website: ( http://www.wearesentience.com/my-experiences.html ). The first was that there is no self, there is no I. Subjectively, in my inner world, the word “I” did not point to anything. There was no I, no Self. There was only a vast emptiness within, no self, and everything happened spontaneously without an agent. The second experience and understanding, was to see that “I” (even though there was no I) was not touched by anything in Consciousness, which meant anything in the manifest world or activity and form. “I” was beyond all, untouched by Consciousness. Consciousness was illusory, a dream that came to me like a thief in the night, unbidden. Well, let me tell you, this knowledge of no self, or no separate self was not at all satisfying. I as a manifest entity did not exist in any substantial way. I was emptiness and form only. The sense of I was illusory, for no I existed as object to be found.

Thus I lived in this emptiness for 15 years with the profound knowledge there was no I, no Self. The profound truth here too is that there is no love. In fact, all human emotion is empty as are all relationships. Then the most extraordinary thing happened to me: Love came to me, uninvited, unbidden, and in a way and to an extent I had never experienced it before, and with it came an explosion of life-energy that filled and awakened the self-knowledge of sentience within me. I became aware of of the continual presence of love, bliss and energy that ran through my body and which flowered as a continuous sense of presence within and around me, that most assuredly was “me,” “I,” “I Am.” From emptiness a bomb of love, energy and bliss exploded in me with incredible intensity that over time revealed who I was with the utter conviction, not of a true believer, but of someone who had not believed he had a self because he found only emptiness inside, or the nothingness of sleep and death, and then to him was revealed the Self of Ramana, as ‘I-I’ where one I is that of the small self, the human we always took ourself to be, a piece of sentience entombed in a bit of flesh, filled with dreams, wants, opinions, etc., but who also was the Self-of-All, which appeared so huge as to be totally beyond being human; it had to be divine, the other half of the I-I. What had been missing all along, for all those decades and especially in the 15 years after my first awakenings with Robert Adams, was LOVE! Feeling an unbelievably powerful sense of love ignited my sentience, filled the inner energies with an unbelievable life-force, bliss, energies and a continuous sense of presence of me as being not body, not mind, but as sentience itself. As knowing. As self-knowing and self-knowledge. The key was investigating the inner world with total love so that the inner emptiness is quickened with the life-bliss energies of the deepest level of sentience. So, you need to see that there are on this path, two self-realizations: realization of the Self as the Witness, the Absolute, unmanifest “beyond” which can never be directly known, and realization of the Self as the manifest, as energy, presence, love, bliss, and the divine. This kind of realization is never final, because the forms, the manifest world, our manifest selves are constantly unfolding, changing, manifesting. Only the Absolute who witnesses all this is untouched, and after 15 years of being untouched, the sweetness and energies of the manifest Self elicit such thankfulness for life, gratitude, humility and grace. So I urge you, become clear about what you seek. What is it that motivates your seeking? Is it just curiosity that there may be something beyond the world you live in? Or is there a burning desire to grasp the real? Or is there a burning desire for love, or have you found all human love relationships wanting from repeated failures? Assuming you understand what forces are driving you, what do you do then? Read more books?

Seek a guru? Try to find whatever you are looking for without any guidance except your own? If you decide to accept the help of a guru, the most important thing to discover is what he or she actually experiences within themselves on a day to day, minute to minute basis. Ask them what their inner experience is. Ask them what they offer you. Do just listen to their abstract talks about Consciousness, Self, no-self, or methods. Find out whether they can give you what you seek. Whatever you do, don’t just go to a teacher and begin immersing yourself into their books, classes and retreats without finding out what they are offering you and how they plan on helping you find whatever you want. You know, I was never intelligent enough or self-confident enough to ask any of my teachers to discuss their continuous self-experience, and what they had to offer me as a consequence of spending time with them. In retrospect, I was so naïve and truly unquestioning. In fact, it is incredibly difficult to extract such self-revelations from a teacher, as they tend to hide behind whatever expectations or projections you have of them, which brought you to them in the first place. You imagine that he or she has something in their conscious experience that you want and they can give it to you. But they do not want to talk about their own experience or what they have to offer because in such clarity, they will lose many students who want what they cannot offer. Do you want bliss and energies? Do you want love beyond anything you have ever experienced before? Do you want to know who or what you are? Do you want to escape from life and emotional intensity by abiding in the Absolute, the Witness? Or do you hunger to know and experience everything? This is the highest aspiration: to hunger to know both God, yourself as a human, and That which lies beyond everything. If you plan on doing everything yourself, you have a fool as a client, because it is almost impossible to see through the filters and blinders you have been raised with. You will continually go around in circles, never able to leave your box.

October 5, 2013

Let your center of awareness fall from your eyes and head down into your heart and lower. There is a whole new world available that is not perceivable when you are thinking or day dreaming. If you start pinching yourself and massaging your thighs and buttocks muscles while lying in bed in the morning, the center of your awareness will sink even deeper. At this point, look at your body from within with eyes closed. Feel it. Feel the pinching and massage "Look" at it with your mind's eye. Now look at it wondering, "Am I this body? If I am the body, am I also something else? If you do this long enough you will come to the understanding first, that you are not your body, but YOU are an awareness of that body. The body is not you because you identify more with the awareness. Then you can proclaim you are partially, your awareness of your body. From here you cannot go further unless you are lucky enough to become aware of the Subtle Body energies that permeate your awareness when you are open to them. Often it takes some act to awaken awareness of these energies, such as Shaktipat of experiencing deep love, or else the transmission of energies from a teacher who allows you access to them in their presence, which later becomes permanent. At this point though, you can again wonder, "Am I these energies, this Kundalini, this bliss, or am I merely awareness of them?" Again you will see that though these energies are specifically related to your body/mind and sense of presence, they are still being witnessed, observed, looked at. At this point, meditation can deepen and you can go into a state like sleep where you are aware of nothing, not even awareness itself. This may be called the Causal Body, or given no name at all, but just a term that describes an experience that comes and goes. Then you can understand "Sometimes I am aware of "the" body; sometimes I am aware of energies and bliss; sometimes I am aware that I am aware, and sometimes I am aware that I Am now not aware, or I was not aware for a period of time."

Nisargadatta calls this awareness "knowledge," and says "What you really are is not the knowledge or the absence of knowledge, but you are the principle that knows both." In other words, you are the functioning of knowingness and non-knowingness which is beyond the world, beyond phenomenality, and as such, entirely non-human. You are a principle, a functioning, not the perceived story of body/mind/subtle body/causal body. This is all a story, an interpretation, which is not real, because it does not have its own intrinsic nature, and is merely perceived and is temporary, while what you are is beyond that temporary phenomenal world. YET, you also realize at some point that all of that temporary world of the known, the body, subtle body, causal body, bliss, mind, thoughts, emotions, etc., are ALSO YOU, because without YOU as the principle of knowing, none of it would exist for YOU, who is beyond all these phenomena. I will stop at this point and not go further into a discussion of Turiya and the Absolute becuase the discussion becomes more difficult to follow. It is here we find an essential difference between the Advaita of Nisargadatta and of Ramana Maharshi regarding the primacy of the I-sense. For Ramana everything is I; for Nisargadatta, nothing is I and posits your primary nature as that which cannot be known. For Ramana, this would be considered a mistake and nothing exists beyond the I-I feeling, the ultimate knower and source, and the human feeling of I Am. Ramana would say that Nisargadatta added the unnecessary concept of an unknowable subject, Witness or Absolute to what is experienced. For Ramana, if something is unknowable, it does not exist, for all that exists is Satchitananda--existence/knowledge and bliss. However, if you have made it this deep into self awareness and self-analysis, you have gone entirely beyond the world most people dwell in, and beyond that mind state of chaos, fear, instability, and doubt.

October 14, 2013

EMAIL TO ME RE ENCOUNTERING SHAKTI AND BLISS Email to me: Thank you my dearest Father for you guiding light. When feeling the Self and abiding there my mind is quiet and body is quiet but the bliss/pleasure is like a soft-ball on fire slowly rolling from my butt to head stopping at the solar plexus. While at the solar plexus it starts stretching the membrane holding it and gets ready to explode. The full interior of this body is empty of everything except energy that is vibrating...peaceful and blissful Is this what you mean by resting there my Guru? Love Always, S. Ed’s Response: YES!! ABSOLUTELY!! Done long enough, Shakti takes over and does everything for you. Love, Ed Email to me: OH, My Dearest Father! Your right! I am losing the battle with this fair maiden. Your gal Shakti is winning the game. She is enthralling, entertaining and very mysterious. She shows up at all times of the day and night, calling me, beckoning and promising to devour this mind and body and doing it with bliss and pleasure. I am slowly turning into her servant and willingly too. The World calls too but its voice is losing its power over me. I think maybe next week you and her will band together and pull a Ecstasy of Saint Teresa on me. This world means nothing, it is turning to ash, I bow to the Peace and Quiet of Shakti. Take me in your arms I am a willing servant. To Swamiji Sri Edji my home and my life. Yours, S. Ed's Response: At this point your sadhana becomes effortless. Your only job is to hang on and enjoy.

October 17, 2013

AWAKENING LOVE A friend of mine who believes herself awakened by an “Awakened Kundalini,” often questions my emphasis on loving another person or other entity as a way of awakening. She says that if it just took love, everyone would be awakened. She says both of her daughters and their husbands are deeply in love, yet none of them ever talk about the Self, and none are “awake.” Instead she talks about awakened Kundalini as her path, which arrived by grace. She did nothing to awaken it, she claims. She claims everyone experiences Kundalini phenomena, such as flushes, body and presence energies, the Kundalini snake, vibrations, visions, bliss, etc., but says in most people, it is not awakened and transporting the individual towards enlightenment as is her awakened Kundalini. She also declares nothing she ever did, in any way, caused the awakening of her Kundalini—it was pure grace. She discounts two years of listening to Robert’s Satsangs 10 hours a day, listening to endless chanting, and being with a Jnani/Bhakti guru for a couple of years as instrumental in her awakened Kundalini, even though she was deeply in love with someone for two years during this time and she constantly practiced self-inquiry. From my viewpoint, what happened to her “feels” like grace because her practices opened her awareness to deeper levels of her own psyche and consciousness, including what I call the Subtle Body level and also Turiya itself where the primal life-energies of sentience reside. At this deeper level—identifying with this deeper level of Consciousness—makes one feel like an entirely different kind of being than before: an ordinary human occupying what Nisargadatta calls a “food body,” and what Harding calls a “Sentient Meatball.” This deeper level, in a way, has nothing to do with the more superficial level of mind, thought, image and emotions left behind which function on the gross body/world level. Her identity shifted to Consciousness itself and she feels that anything she did on her previous gross body identification level could in any way, have caused her life now to focus on Shakti, which she felt was now alive and serving her. But, you see, from my viewpoint she has merely changed her primary focus and identification to a deeper level of Consciousness, one that leaves her old world and life behind.

In no way is it possible that this spontaneous awakening came just by grace; it came by long effort of gradual surrendering, self-inquiry, ecstatic chanting, and pondering deep issues. It feels like grace alone because that is what that level of Consciousness feels like when you identify with it: great humility, great gratitude, great love and wisdom, far beyond anything ever encountered when identified only with the body, emotions and thinking. Grace is that level which has a completely different feel than the conditioned world and mind left behind. In one way though she is correct. Everyone experiences Kundalini. Everyone experiences love. And a few spontaneously look inwardly, contemplating the levels of inner awareness, what I call their spiritual mansion of many rooms and splendors. But her insights created some new understanding in me. I had been advising students just to love as completely and deeply as possible as a method of getting into the deepest part of one’s Self: Turiya, or the love/bliss body, also known by its existential qualities of existence- knowledge- and bliss. But the love that awakened me to the Existential, Manifest Self was not an ordinary love; it was an extraordinary love that grew day by day to an unimaginable intensity accompanied by huge streams of inner energies, love, the descent of Grace and seeing God in a manifest form within me, powering me. So, I have to use the term “Awakened Love,” or better “Awakening Love”: Love for another that permanently kindles one’s heart flame revealing ever deeper levels of self-awareness, love, bliss, energies, and an enormous self-confidence of knowing for the first time who and what you are. But this does not mean that all pre-awakening loves are useless to causing Self-Realization, for that would also be discounting all efforts to cultivate an awakening of the Kundalini as espoused by energy gurus, such as breathing and visualization practices to guide the Kundalini into the spine. Just so self-inquiry. One does not fail to practice self-inquiry because when awakening comes, you shift identity from the practitioner to Turiya or Shakti. In all these cases of awakened love, awakened Kundalini, awakened self-inquiry, the common element is turning within, investigating the body from the inside, and gradually recognizing that the body is not you: You are that which both pervades and transcends the body—Consciousness, and Consciousness has different levels and objects depending on the spiritual path traversed. For example, Buddhism in general places great emphasis on emptiness, the inner space one experiences after much silent meditation, and how all of the manifest world arises from emptiness and subsides therein. Besides emptiness, there is also the experience of Nothingess, where nothing manifest is experienced yet you know you existed during those periods of non-experience. This is called the Causal Body and also happens in deep sleep. Generally all who awaken experience first either emptiness or the blissful energies. This is a

complicated subject involving the interplay of two aspects of the self: the witness or Absolute, and the manifest world, the activity within the presence. In the awakened Self both are present. One becomes both the containing emptiness, and also the alive, blissful sentience that fills emptiness with alive, energetic presence. So the overall principal is developing an inner awareness through introspection, self-inquiry, becoming aware of the Self through focusing and abiding in the I-Am. Or, by focusing on the inner energies and how they travel through the body, and then developing awareness of the Self and Kundalini currents. Or, by falling deeply in love, more deeply than ever before with someone who is alive to their own depths, or comes alive through mutual introspection and communications of inner experiences. The love grows and becomes the Self as first perceived. You have seen the awesome-ness of the Self in another, and that awakens one’s self to the Self within. Thus though love at first appears to be a focus on someone or something in the outer gross world, in Awakening Love, your Own Self owns the love and arises to display Him or Herself to you in the great awesome-ness. Such internalized focused love happens when at least one of the lovers is, or can be quickly made aware of the Infinite Self within. That is why guru worship is so heavily emphasized in Hindu religious lore: By loving an awakened soul, one becomes entrained to both the emptiness and Shakti in the other to each other’s mutual “enwonderment.” Devotion to another, for a realized person, is devotion to the Other, which is a manifestation of your own Universal Self. Such devotion soon generates those feelings of humility, gratitude to serve, bliss/love/surrender, and grace that combined is how the Self at the deepest level is experienced.

October 22, 2013

IS THE “GURU” SUPERIOR TO YOU? During the mid 1960s I was involved in developing management tools, such as psychologically-oriented groups to facilitate cooperative efforts between participants on various projects. Back then groups were not so common they were to become in the 1970s and 1980s, and the concept of deep sharing and of trust of strangers was unfamiliar. Many of the participants remained aloof and relatively uncooperative in group activities. For the life of them, they could not let go of self-protective attitudes of withholding and fear of being taken advantage of. We named these people “counterdependent,” they feared dependency beyond all reasonable caution. This attitude is based strictly on fear, fear of being taken advantage of used, controlled or abused. Even some spiritual teachers held or hold this view of “beware of the guru,” he will use you and throw you away, such as Krishnamurti. When you have a guru, believe in him or her, follow him or her, you are at the short end of a power struggle and you can only be hurt. There is no advantage in such a relationship. If you believe in a guru, you must think they have something you do not, that they are superior to you in some way, and you hope by staying close to get what they have that you lack. This is an unbalanced power relationship. This counterdependent attitude comes with a credo—you are already perfect, complete, and only have to realize that for yourself; no teacher is necessary or desirable. The teacher, the guru, has nothing you do not have. THIS IS EXACTLY TRUE: THE GURU HAS NOTHING YOU DO NOT ALREADY HAVE. BUT THERE IS A DIFFERENCE: The “true” guru has spent years, decades studying him or herself, turning their attention inwards, exploring the inner subjective worlds that one becomes aware of only through long meditation practice, self-inquiry, Kundalini practices, love, devotion and surrender to a guru, working with Subtle Body energies, and have had basic awakening experiences revealing who they are as other than the body/mind. Yes, everyone has their own Self always available, and they act from that position every day, but very few are aware of their primary identity as that Consciousness, that Self, or as the Absolute witness. Yes, you can find those base states within of Self, of the Absolute, of emptiness, of the incredible energy and bliss of your own sentience, of your Lifeforce, but it is so much easier to spend time with a teacher whose own energy you feel all the time, and which can “take” you to deeper levels

within yourself by a kind of “resonance,” as well as by using methods like meditation, yoga or self-inquiry. Unfortunately, those who hold onto only their own truth, almost always stay on the surface of consciousness, in the “Now,” which is the clear field of body/mind/world awareness of everyday life. They do not become aware of the coming and going of such nowness, beingness itself, for you have to stand back from “present beingness” in order to watch it come and go. Once you can stand back from the comings and goings of Consciousness, you see that it is not just clear, brilliant, nowness, and you can make many, many discoveries about your true nature as Consciousness and that which is prior to consciousness, and thereby destroy your fundamental identification with your individuality and your body/mind. If you search spiritual literature, there are very few “great teachers,” world teachers that were self-realized without the benefit or “dependence” on other spiritual teachers. Those who realized without teachers are very rare, like Robert Adams or Ramana Maharshi. But fear of being used and abused keeps many from going to a teacher (or a psychotherapist). The “correct” way to look at a teacher is as a source of love and knowledge, love and knowledge which you already are as the Self you, but which you do not yet realize. You see, if you take the position there is nothing to realize, you are already complete, this is only an intellectual understanding that you have borrowed from other counterdependent teachers who glorify and teach counterdependence and staying in the Now rather than going deeper. For if you believe that the Now, the beingness is all that there is, you cannot easily go deeper. Look, if we want to learn how to play tennis or golf, do we learn best by just going out alone each day and playing by ourself? Or do we learn by watching videos of golf and tennis teachers, golf-masters so to speak? Then, if we really want to learn, we go to a professional who can teach in a month that which you could not learn on your own in a year. The same with any other athletic endeavor, we learn from masters, and the best boxers, skiers, pilots, drivers, really submit to a teacher to show them all that they can learn from them, and at that point, they can innovate techniques their teacher did not know and become teachers themselves. The same is true of psychotherapy. Do we try to do self-psychotherapy ourselves, or do we actually go to a therapist and submit to that potentially abusive relationship? Most counterdependent people will not go into therapy and instead read self-help books, and become filled with self-help book knowledge. You see, what you get from a guru is to realize that which you already are by listening to what that teacher says about how to find yourself, which is love, knowledge, and bliss.

We go to energy healers, faith healers to be healed by energies, faith, or love, whether they actually do the healing to us, or open a way for us to heal ourselves. The role of teacher in this case is to be a trigger of self-healing and self-knowledge. Do we honor the healer any less because they teach us how to heal ourselves? Yes, there is nothing the guru or healer has that you do not already have complete in yourself EXCEPT KNOWLEDGE OF YOUR OWN COMPLETENESS, YOUR FUNDAMENTAL IDENTITY AS BLISS, KNOWLEDGE AND EXISTENCE, AS ENERGY, SENIENCE AND THE LIFE-FORCE, and this is very difficult to learn except through someone guiding you through exercises, meditation, self-inquiry, or techniques to raise energies such as to awaken Kundalini or healing energies. Thus the spiritual guru is there to facilitate you knowing yourself at a deeper level than you will achieve on your own during any reasonable period of time. Paraphrasing Jan Esmann, yes you can walk from Paris to Berlin on your own, but it would be much easier to take a train or airplane, and you can regard the guru as your travel agent.

October 22, 2013

Today I am in total, quiet bliss. Our three day retreat went very well. Lots of crying; lots of love; lots of firsts for people re internal energies and bliss. Steve said he felt like he has come home and is riding waves of bliss up and down. Most had a difficult time leaving. Max, Steve, and Harold hung out to the end and we spent time on Monday together before they left for Europe or Wisconsin. I still carry the bliss and memories. In fact, I feel like a tight balloon filled with happiness, although people coming and talking to me feel very irritating with their insistence on talking about the mundane. On the third day of the retreat we spent the early afternoon sitting in silence at the SRF Lake Shrine. In the afternoon Deeya led us in practices to better see and perceive Subtle Body energies. Then we were visited by Itta Fleming with her cat Simba who is suffering from bone cancer in his rear right leg. Deeya led a healing for Simba and we hope to see progress when he receives an MRI to see how far or if the cancer has invaded his pelvis. When I left Matthew, Max, and Deeya at the hotel where they stayed, we all felt heartbroken that 3 days of magic had ended, where many of us felt finally in a family of kindred spirits. Yes, the retreat was magical, and I just want to be left alone feeling the happiness, but know I’d feel happier if all of us were together again.

October 23, 2013

FROM AN ATTENDEE AT OUR RECENT SELF-REALIZATION RETREAT Dearest Edji, Oh boy, what an intense trip... Thank you. Thank you Ed for your kindness. You said you wouldn't bite but that was an understatement - you treated me like family. Saying this feels a bit like betraying my family here, but before meeting Deeya and you I don't think I've ever felt so loved, understood and accepted before. Although I also experienced some painful and serious doubts at times, and parts of it scared me shitless, it is like knowing a whole new dimension of love. I don't know what I did to deserve such grace... Wow your light attracted a mighty beautiful moth there (who is the light herself)... I knew before she was great, but when I met Deeya I instantly fell in love with her. She is pretty high up the list of the very, very few women I really trust and feel comfortable with. I think I will never let her go again... The whole retreat was just amazing, but also a painful rollercoaster ride at times. Going on a journey deep inside my consciousness alternated with times where I felt empty, scared and in doubt or at worst, often just felt like there was some huge emotion going on but I couldn't feel it, it was like there was a brick wall between me and the emotion. This happened especially when I went up to you both for Darshan. I think a lot of it was just still too hard to bear for me... I often felt like crying, crying but instead there was just this paralyzing blankness. I still feel very exhausted both physically and emotionally. I feel at this point I have to give some credit to my beloved former teacher Ajahn Brahmavamso, as well as all other little and big gurus and lovers I had in my life. Without the things I learned under their guidance, NOTHING of this would have ever been possible.

I was sometimes a bit skeptical about the effect of "being in your presence". But let me tell you sitting next to you feels sooo different from even being at online satsang, which already does have a significant effect. The culmination of this was the drive to the SRF, which I didn't want to end. Even though Harald and you were yattering away, I effortlessly fell into this state of sublime peace total ease and comfort like I might have never felt before in my life, bathed in swirling colored visions and ever so subtle energies. I still can feel it now a bit. At other times at the yoga studio I felt like I was sitting in front of the gates to heaven, with God peeking through both of you and shining onto me. Deeya and you worked together so so well. I hate to say it as I was pretty satisfied with you already before I knew her, but her energy is really complementary to yours and fills in gaps where I felt lacking before (which I only realized now). I think she is also changing you quite a bit in a way that is very beautiful to see. I didn't have much interest recently in developing any powers, but I feel Deeya's are immense and I'd like to learn as much as possible of that. I rarely talk about this to you, but my body is and feels pretty wrecked. It's nothing terribly serious but enough to keep me in constant pain and distress. So maybe this is truly a call to first help myself and then others. You know, I think moving to California and living with you would do me good (although I'm scared as hell of some possible forms of cooking that might come then). However I feel I can't just pack my stuff and leave, because maybe I am to my loved ones what you are to me. They wouldn't understand and leaving them behind would break their hearts, and would crush mine too eventually. You know I never believed her when Lila said you were a homophobe and wouldn't let me come because of that. Still had to ask though. It was a brilliant piece of cooking, and I really have to thank both her and you for that. I still hated her self-righteous guts though most of the time at satsang and on facebook. I'll try to visit you as often as possible, not just because I feel with all the energy taken away by the various worldly activities I get myself into my sadhana needs a boost now and then, but also just for the sublime bliss of the experience!

I love you so much Ed, I really do!!! Thank you for everything you have done. You showed me a beauty of this life like no one else could have. Anonymous

STILL YET ANOTHER RETREAT ATTENDEE HEARD FROM Hi Edji, I thought the retreat was a resounding success because of a) the freshness of your and Deeya's approach... flexible to the moment and varied in delivery (e.g., bhajan, guided visualization, lecture, reading, walking meditation, devotion, joking... even deciding to go to the SRF Lake Shrine.) b) you and Deeya were very "hands-on," both literally and in respect to your interaction with the participants... not aloof, not hiding behind an inflexible pre-planned schedule or series of "levels" of attainment or desired states. You gauged where students were at and did both explicit teaching and discussing and advising, and hidden inner healing and loving. c) Participants were free to engage on whatever level(s) they were at. There was a considerable amount of both support and freedom. As to my own inner states and development, of course there was a lot. I felt greater confidence about myself as a support others, and found myself sending love to everyone in the group often, spontaneously and continuously. It's very important to me that I am able to do this in my life, and I found confirmation that this is a role which Consciousness wants me to play, and I can do it. Fantastic, wonderful! Also, I love your personal frankness. "Love" is an understatement. You always express exactly how you feel and what you think, and this is a great example because your expressions run the gamut from emotions felt about a student's betrayal or avoidance behaviours, to exact delineations between experiential and transcendental states, to

caustic jokes, to loving humorous encouragement, and more. Nothing is held back. Nothing is suppressed as "un-guru-like" or "non-spiritual." You're a living example of your teachings. Your state shines through every word you speak, breath you take and action you make, as well. That is your Grace. Meanwhile the great healer Deeya's energy, lightness, delight, whimsy and love were a great feminine counterbalance and complement to your constant position in the Absolute, insight, directness, compassion and rational linear explanations on the masculine energy side. It was like treble and bass. I have never sung bhajans so openly or danced with such spiritual abandon and they both brought me deeper, along with the Self-inquiry you taught me, than I have ever been. (That was when you commented at lunch that you'd never seen me so quiet!) I was still aware, but all the thinking had been completely dropped. This confirmed for me what the enlightened state could be like. I could see how it would not only be difficult to function, but contemptible to engage in "mundane" conversation. I agree. However, I have taken a Bodhisattva vow and returning gradually to a state slightly more "functional" is okay with me. That's the line on which I've been living my life for some time now--practicing on the inside, supporting and healing others where possible and being completely present in my own consciousness and states and the "I Am," while still engaging in the occasional discussion about the weather, TV or what somebody else does for a living. The only changes I would recommend are regularly scheduled 15 minute and hour-long lunch breaks; otherwise the uncertainty and fatigue could bedistracting. On the one side there is the Zen paradigm of Incorporating discomfort and transcending it through complete presence and "breathing into" it, but on the other hand the human mechanism for MOST of us requires a breather and some food on a fairly predictable basis. As you know, like Max said there are people in his life who really love and depend on him, and that is part of his practice, and I feel the same way. I was grateful to come, I was grateful to participate and support, and I was grateful to return. I love you very much and will always support you and Deeya. Love, M.

Ed's Response: Holy Crap! What wonderful feedback! I love it. Sometime soon I am going to have to post emails from other that have opposite opinions. Thank you so much M.

October 25, 2013

ATTENDEE's POST RETREAT EXPERIENCE Edji, I want to thank you deeply from the core of my Heart for the last 4 days with you. The blessings you have bestowed are beyond all thought and reason. Having just arrived back in the Cheese State of Wisconsin, just by looking at your Blog the deeper energies of Love started up very strong and are burning my Heart up with Absolute Love.... The question I have is: On Sunday night, waking at 3am I danced around the hotel room in bliss and for about 3 seconds I felt eternity explode with a moving stillness, colorful and with in-describable extremely deep peace and serenity (words just cant work to explain what happened) I wasn't just Home. This HOME was so full of love....I just stopped dead and couldn't believe what had happened. Well anyway Edji my Father, what was that 3 seconds about? Ed's Response: A Foretaste of what is yet to come.

October 26, 2013

WHAT IF YOU WERE ONLY AN IDEA? What is the great freedom promised by Robert Adams and other Sages? The knowledge that you are both Consciousness itself as manifest Self, and the unmanifest witness of the manifest Self, which is apart and untouched by the manifest. But what is Consciousness and the objects contained therein? Is Consciousness of things in the world, or of light and energies? Depending on your level of freedom, it can be either or both at once. But in a larger sense, the manifest world, Consciousness, is just a knowing, it is knowledge of objects, of sights and sounds, time and space, giving way in the gross world to Subtle Body energies, healing, internal energy flows, the inner emptiness or Void within, giving way to awareness without anything to be aware of, and finally to the deepest level in us of love/bliss, or Satchitananda, the underlying permeating characteristic of knowing you exist in bliss or happiness. In other words you are knowledge and knowing of that knowledge. That is all you are: information or data, sensual and otherwise, and the cognizer that knows that knowledge and makes sense of it. In the greatest sense you are not your body or even you mind, nor your emotions, nor emptiness. All these are merely data. You as the manifest do not exist except as knowledge of that manifest. Just data. This is true of all sentient beings, from human to krill and maggot. But beyond this you are the knower of the world, of data, of light, bliss, energies, birth and death, and must precede the body because it is the knower of the body. As such it is beyond the touch of death, for it death is only another concept, another datum. With this knowing, with this realization, you know that the world is naught but thought forms, stories, and even abiding in the Void is still identifying with aspects of creation that you are entirely beyond. Knowing this you are filled with bliss, ecstasy, and the exploding energies of life. For knowledge thus perceived is love and bliss. A shock of truth shoots through the body bring ecstasy,

humility, and complete surrender. Knowledge and Love are at last One. Now you are able to see around the limits we impose on ourselves and the world as constraints on knowledge. What does this mean practically? It means we can watch our life unfold and see "truths" about ourselves from a place of pure knowingness which can dissolve previous stories. Attachments can dissolve because we see our stuckness or obsessions, and realize these are only ideas--which can be changed. We can see patterns in terms of repetitive mistakes we make in terms of relationships, jobs, work, relationships, or things we fail to perceive that others see readily, and from that position, see the negative consequences of such repetitive choices, and by that seeing alone, resolve to change it, or the change comes automatically. You see, after Self-Realization, recognizes ourselves as sentience itself rather than as body or mind, we have stepped back to a more powerful level within ourselves that rips the habit from us rather easily compared to life prior to Self-Realization where even the smallest change required great effort.

October 28, 2013

MY EXPERIENCE NOW I often speak of my own experience, not to brag or because I am THAT narcissistic, but it is the only experience I can talk about first hand. Others who awaken can have radically different experiences. However, these that I share are similar to those of others I know. I think friends and students/teachers tend to “resonate” in terms of both understanding and spiritual experiences. That is why we like hanging around each other. We share experiences others might call insane. We share loves that others cannot believe in. We share an acceptance of each other’s experiences. Rather than diminishing since the retreat of a week ago, the intensity of these experiences has been increasing. Currently my body and sense of presence feels almost like it is bursting, barely able to contain the inner life force, which, “looking” within appears as a brilliant white light and cold heat. Whereever my awareness (me) touches my body I feel bliss. Bliss permeates this body. And I am singularly aware of myself, as the watcher of the body, the bliss, the Life Force bursting from my chest, and the “feeling” of incredible power. A few hours ago, the energy was not quite as intense, but I felt an enormous, overwhelming love and surrender to the forces that be and to my Beloved. But, including these is the overwhelming awareness that I know who and what I am. It is hard to stae what that is, because it is all of the above experiences, but it is also a totality that cannot be expressed, and a sense of absolute certitude of who I am, and it is not just this aging body so vulnerable to the environment. Nor does the simple term “beingness” seem to apply. It is far more than any concept of beingness, nor any experience that I had previous to four years ago. I have the utter assurance that I am this Consciousness and as such I have no mass or weight, but the body associated with my knowingness here and now is serving as a capacitor storing great power of “my” LifeForce. If that cold heat were to turn hot, this body would be incinerated. I can only describe the entire experience as being totally joyful, even when dark emotions float through without really touching “me.”

And with the assuredness of knowing who I am, I recognize that I am not that which I appear to be. I am only image, affect, body/mind in the world, not an entity at all, AND I am also that which observes all this, knows all this apparent experience or knowledge. And, I cannot take my attention off that energy within, the LifeForce. It grabs my attention and I cannot let go. At the same time it is awakening this body. I can feel it straightening out the muscles, joints and nerves, changing the patterns of movement and sensation. Every few minutes I feel various kinds of "snappings" in my back that feels like vertebra and muscles snapping into a new alignment. All in all, it is a wonderful experience to be having. Another way to describe it is feeling totally alive, 100% alive, and the emotions are outsized too, but “I” can choose to experience them or not and back into the witness, just watching in complete peace.

November 4, 2013

David Godman - Buddha at the Gas Pump Interview

www.youtube.com

As you know, I spent 8 years with Robert. In this interview David says there is no Ramana lineage, that basically, all those current gurus who prominently feature a photo of Ramana at their Satsangs are just living off the fame of Ramana. He rejects the idea that these teachers claim to be part of the lineage because Ramana inspired them, or because they felt Ramana visited them astrally, like he visited Robert as a child.

He also stated that after death, Robert and Ramana just disappeared and had nothing more to do with the world. Poof--gone.

David also claimed that gurus did not intentionally interfere in any way in the spiritual development of others. There were no astral meetings in Ramana's awareness.

David also stated his opinion that in all the world there were not more than a handful of humans that were in the same class as Ramana, and that Ramana himself only pointed to dead gurus as having his understanding. David felt no teacher he knew of was really a descendant of Ramana and no one alive was in his class.

We could say no one David knew of was in Ramana’s class, because Robert often stated that the greatest ones are quite private and remain unknown.

Interestingly enough for those deep into epistemology and ontology, David clearly outlined Ramana’s concept of pure idealism, and that was that the individual created the entire world and that world we perceive dies when we die. He does not take the view there is a real world out there that we all participate in, or like Nisargadatta, who held that Consciousness, with its aspects of Shiva and Shakti, are appearances only that arise out of matter—insentient flesh bodies.

AS TO EVERYTHING DAVID SAID TO THIS POINT, I STATE CATEGORICALLY, ROBERT AGREED WITH HIM 100%.

Robert said he never visited anyone astrally, and never interceded in anyone’s spiritual development other than as a friend.

Robert said when asked how many enlightened beings were alive now, he said that they could be counted on one hand.

I know half the people on Facebook now claim to be enlightened, or at least awakened, but Robert would disagree. I am sure they will express their disagreement on this thread, holding that there are more enlightened beings in the world than ever before.

LET ME SAY THIS: THERE ARE MORE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD CLAIMING TO BE ENLIGHTENED THAN EVER BEFORE, BUT THE BAR OF DEFINED ENLIGHTENMENT IS LOWER THAN EVER BEFORE ALSO. I DO NOT CLAIM TO BE IN THE SAME CLASS AS ROBERT, AND I DO NOT TEACH AS HE TEACHES BECAUSE I DO NOT SEE HIS TEACHINGS AS APPROPRIATE FOR OUR TIMES. OUR TIMES DEMAND A SOFTER AND MORE BHAKTIC, SURRENDER STYLE APPROACH.

REALISTICALLY, IF YOU LOOK AT ROBERT’S AND RAMANA’S TEACHINGS, THEY CONSTANTLY TELL YOU TO LEAVE THE WORLD ALONE, IGNORE IT, IGNORE YOUR EMOTIONS, IGNORE YOUR THOUGHTS, IGNORE YOUR PROBLEMS AND JUST LOOK WITHIN FOR THE SOURCE: YOUR SENSE OF I.

WHY WOULD ANYONE WHO FOR 50 YEARS PREACHED TO OTHERS TO IGNORE THE WORLD, DON’T BELIEVE IN IT, THEN STAY BEHIND AFTER DEATH TO GUIDE A LINEAGE AND TO INTERFERE IN A WORLD OR MANIFEST THROUGH A PERSON AS A CHANNELED ENTITY?

HOWEVER, HERE IS THE ONLY PLACE I DISAGREE WITH DAVID, AND IN A SENSE, ROBERT.

Though Robert stated he never intentionally blessed or changed his student’s lives, yet magical things happened around him all the time. In addition, Robert would constantly talk about the magic he witnessed as a wanderer going from guru to guru in India. Like a guru being in two or three places at once, or a dead teacher coming back to life in a different body right in front of him. There is also the story of how he brought his little dog Dimitri back to life in order to help him transition across.

Then also was his constant vision of he, Ramana, Jesus and Buddha coming together at the moment of his death in the middle of a mountain, then ascending into pure light. Robert did experience this on his death bed and called out to those around him whether they saw Jesus and Ramana, etc.

While Robert denied the magical, it happened around him all the time and people experienced astral visits from him, which he denied.

It is my opinion based on my own experience and being with Robert for 8 years and with Jean Dunn, that there is far more in the world than was dreamt of by Ramana and Robert. I think Robert was open to this world, and talked about it a lot, but at the same time he had Ramana’s idea that there was only Consciousness, no separate Ramana or Robert to do anything.

As such, rather than say there was a Ramana lineage, let us say Consciousness has always acted as if there was such a lineage, sort of manifesting through the living personages of Ramana, Robert, and Nisargadatta, but also through the intangible legacy of their teachings and influences

left behind. We can say that the Self of all acts through channels, and whether the individual at the center is aware of destiny acting through them or not, does not mean it is not acting through them and continues acting through them long after they are dust, just as all famous conquerors and religious figures of the past, such as Jesus, Buddha, and Mohamed continue to have tremendous impact 2,000 years later.

I began to feel Robert’s presence within me about 7 years after he died. At first I felt this presence urge me to put up my original website, itisnotreal.com, as a testimony to Robert. All that it did was to present Robert’s teachings. However, because of constant legal harassment from Nicole Adams and her Infinity Institute, I gradually had to remove anything of Robert’s teachings and photos, which led me to develop my own teachings, some of which are quite at odds with Robert’s because I focus more on the manifest world and spiritual processes in it more than did Robert.

As to the master Advaitins opinion that there are so few enlightened beings in the world, this is just their opinion based on their experience, and reflects a kind of one-sided development.

We can take even a different view. The Buddhism and discoveries of the various Tibetan schools is very different from the non-magical, non-philosophical Zen schools. Ramakrishna is very different from Ramana Maharshi, Poonja and Nisargadatta.

Muktananda and the Kundalini gurus have entirely different spectrums of spiritual experiences and understandings.

I think the "spiritual" universe is very large, larger than contained by any one branch or school.

I think various masters and mystics are talking about very different parts of the spiritual universe of experiences, and no one school contains or understands more than a few rooms of hundreds if not thousands of "rooms" or categories of spiritual experience.

And on Facebook, we are actually talking to different people whose natural inclination leads them to one category of experiences, perhaps sequential, perhaps not, and others to whole other categories of experience.

These become acculturated and made into schools, like the five Zen traditions, or the three major Tibetan traditions, or Shankara style Advaita. Others follow a more Bhaktic tradition with emphasis of surrender, love and service.

It is not that any school is better, holier, or truer than any other tradition. Each is partial knowledge, partial experience, and none--at the highest level--is to be either discarded or worshiped as the end-all.

For example, I am learning more from my students about the nature of "reality," the world, and myself from my students than I have learned from anyone except Robert, because I get to know them so well and deeply.

My students have taught me about love and its power. They have taught me about Kundalini and Shakti. Each is different. Each sees and feels both themselves and the world differently.

Some see it as does everyone else, some see the world as flowing energy states and being alive, and with their help, I can begin to see myself and the world as they see it and as they see themselves, and I expand and appreciate each more and more.

(from Edji’s blog)

33 comments:

1.

Lester Wednesday, November 6, 2013 at 5:22:00 PM PST

One aspect that you've commented on here was also commented on by Ramana a few times. One example of this is seen in Sri Ramana Reminiscences by GV Subbaramayya, p21. The author mentions how a child of devotees had been ‘saved’ from disease elsewhere when they prayed to Ramana, and later the person asked Ramana if he had thought then about helping the child. Straightaway came Sri Bhagavan’s reply, ‘Even the thought to save the child is a sankalpa (Will), and one who has any sankalpa is not a jnani. In fact such thinking is unnecessary. The moment the jnani’s eye falls upon such a thing, there starts a divine, automatic action which itself leads to the highest good.’

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2.

Anonymous Wednesday, November 6, 2013 at 7:33:00 PM PST

"People say that my Form manifests to them and helps them in solving their worldly as well as mental problems, but I do not go anywhere, nor do I know about such miraculous instances." It was at this point when Faqir asked himself: "What about the visions that appear to me? Are they a creation of my own mind, and does my guru also not know about his appearances to me?" Only then, according to Faqir, did he realize the truth: "All manifestations, visions, and forms that are seen within are mental (illusory) creations." After his realization, Faqir began preaching his belief that all saints, from Buddha, Christ, to even his own master Shiv Brat Lal are ignorant about the miracles or inner experiences attributed to them. Though Faqir is probably the most outspoken, other great religious leaders, saints and mystics have expounded on this same unknowingness.

The famed sage, Sri Ramana Maharshi, when asked about Jesus' power to perform miracles, substantiates what Faqir Chand had taught for over forty years: “Was Jesus aware at the time that he was curing men of their diseases. He could not have been conscious of his powers.“ Hence, according to this perspective, the outward master does not know most of the time. http://www.integralworld.net/lane46.html

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Anonymous Thursday, November 7, 2013 at 5:33:00 AM PST

"Interestingly enough for those deep into epistemology and ontology, David clearly outlined Ramana’s concept of pure idealism, and that was that the individual created the entire world and that world we perceive dies when we die. ..." * Dear Edji, I have to object. Firstly, what you describe here is not pure idealism but solipsism, and secondly, this is certainly not Ramana's (or the sages') position. I don't think this is how David meant it to be understood. Idealism (Berkeley) maintains that there are individual minds who project their worlds, but the projected individual worlds of these individual minds are bound together by a super-mind (God). Hence we live in a coordinated "dream" world. But the sages go one step further. They maintain that there are no individual minds. Everything is an unmediated projection by the Self only! This, by the way, is pretty close to Islamic occasionalism: all events are taken to be caused direcly by Allah. Robert Wolfe: "The core of the non-dual teaching is there is no self. What then occurs is, if there is no self whose mind is this?" Quoting Ramana: "Intellect (thinking) is only an instrument of the Self. There is only one consciousness or mind."

"The seeker will find that [thoughts] arise from the Self. Wherefrom do they arise? Their source must be the internal state. The vital force manifests as the mind. Otherwise mind does not exist. *** The mind is only a projection from the Self. Mind is only the Self. **** The Self continues to exist in the absence of the mind but mind cannot exist apart from the Self." "Your mind and intellect (thoughts) ar factors of your wrong identity. Give up this mistaken identity and Self will be seen to be the single non-dual reality." "For a realized being the Self alone is the reality, Even if one acts he has no sense of being an agent." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTtuQIQ1H2M

This is again very close to Islamic teachings (Sufism): "there is nothing in Being but He." - "You did not throw when you threw but Got threw (QUr'an 8:17). "You did not throw", so He negated, "when you threw", so He affirmed, "but God threw", So He negated the engendered existence of Muhammed, and affirmed Himself as identical with Muhammed. You are not you when you are you but God is you. http://books.google.de/books?id=UVt-EvXnEC4C&pg=PA223 All the best, Abe

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Anonymous Thursday, November 7, 2013 at 7:00:00 AM PST

In addition to my previous post: Ramana: "For a realized being the Self alone is the reality. Even if one acts he has no sense of being an agent."

Ibn Arabi: "You are not you when you are you but God is you." [The Sufis] reveal the truth that it is God alone who is the agent of all acts, the agent who acts through all the faculties of man. http://books.google.de/books?id=UVt-EvXnEC4C&pg=PA223

So yes "I" project "my" entire world but "Who am I?" It is sort of coincidential that the English "Who?" sounds exactly like the Arabic "Hu" (He), which is a name of God in Sufism. All the best, Abe

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5.

David Godman Thursday, November 7, 2013 at 8:45:00 PM PST

Hi Ed, Nice to see you have started a discussion on some of the points I talked about. You said that the following paragraph was the one area in which you disagreed with me, and possibly Robert as well: 'Though Robert stated he never intentionally blessed or changed his student’s lives, yet magical things happened around him all the time. In addition, Robert would constantly talk about the magic he witnessed as a wanderer going from guru to guru in India. Like a guru being in two or three places at once, or a dead teacher coming back to life in a different body right in front of him.' I find nothing to disagree with in this. Miraculous things happened around Ramana, and around other teachers I have been with, but none of them claimed responsibility for them. People would come to see Ramana and tell him of some miracle he had performed on their behalf, sometimes appearing in a recognisable form to do it. Ramana would usually say 'Is that so?' He had no knowledge or recollection of having interfered,

and no knowledge that this person had appealed to him for help. These things just happen automatically. Ramana even said that if there is a desire to help other people, then that person cannot be a jnani. The following exchange, taken from The Power of the Presence, part one pp. 81-82 covers this topic very well: Bhagavan, along with many other Masters, held that jnanis had no sankalpa [personal will or intention]. In that state, the Self makes the body behave in a particular way and makes it say whatever needs to be said, but there is no individual choice involved in any of these words or actions. Narayana Iyer once had a most illuminating exchange with Bhagavan on this topic, an exchange that gave a rare insight into the way that a jnani’s power functions: ‘One day when I was sitting by the side of Bhagavan I felt so miserable that I put the following question to him: “Is the sankalpa of the jnani not capable of warding off the destinies of the devotees?” ‘Bhagavan smiled and said: “Does the jnani have a sankalpa at all? The jivanmukta [liberated being] can have no sankalpas whatsoever. It is just impossible.” ‘I continued: “Then what is the fate of all us who pray to you to have grace on us and save us? Will we not be benefited or saved by sitting in front of you, or by coming to you?…” ‘Bhagavan turned graciously to me and said: “…a person’s bad karma will be considerably reduced while he is in the presence of a jnani. A jnani has no sankalpas but his sannidhi [presence] is the most powerful force. He need not have sankalpa, but his presiding presence, the most powerful force, can do wonders: save souls, give peace of mind, even give liberation to ripe souls. Your prayers are not answered by him but absorbed by his presence. His presence saves you, wards off the karma and gives you the boons as the case may be, [but] involuntarily. The jnani does save the devotees, but not by sankalpa, which is non-existent in him, only through his presiding presence, his sannidhi.”’ Back to me again: This is the key to understanding how a jnani functions and aids those around him. By abiding as the Self a powerful energy field is created that helps devotees. If a miracle happens, or if the Guru's form appears miles away from where he actually is physically, it is the sannidhi at work. The Guru just remains as he is, without being aware of anything that the sannidhi might be dong through his power and on his behalf. I am not sure what my word allowance is here, so I will start the next story in a new post.

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6.

David Godman Thursday, November 7, 2013 at 9:02:00 PM PST

Here is Papaji's view on the sannidhi of the Guru, couched in an entertaining analogy. He told me once, 'I have this secretary called "Miss Peace". Every day when I go to give satsang she is there inspecting the minds of everyone who has turned up. She fulfils their desires if they come with desires; if they come for peace, she sees that is what they want, and she gives them peace. I don't have to do anything except be there. This is because, like most employees, when the boss is not there, she slacks off and doesn't do so much work. However, as soon as I turn up, she springs into action and gets things done. 'It doesn't matter what I do in satsang. I can talk about enlightenment, sit quietly, read a book, or ask people to sing and dance. So long as I am there, Miss Peace will be energetically taking care of all the needs of the people there. 'I realised long ago that I didn't really need to tell people they were already enlightened, or tell them to look for the source of the mind. I still do that sometimes because people come to satsang looking for advice on topics such as these. What really matters is that I just be there and allow Miss Peace to get on with her work.'

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7.

David Godman Thursday, November 7, 2013 at 9:10:00 PM PST

Anonymous Apropos your comments on idealism and solipsism, I discussed both of these concepts, with reference to Bhagavan's teachings, in a blog post I wrote several years ago. You can find it here: http://sri-ramana-maharshi.blogspot.in/2010/04/swami-siddheswaranandas-views-on.html

It covers Bhagavan's teachings on creation and compares them to similar ideas that have been discussed in western philosophy.

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8.

David Godman Thursday, November 7, 2013 at 9:29:00 PM PST

Ed

Here is another of your paragraphs: 'As to the master Advaitins opinion that there are so few enlightened beings in the world, this is just their opinion based on their experience, and reflects a kind of one-sided development.' I don't agree with this. If you are a jnani, you can see quite clearly who else is in that state. You don't have an opinion, based on one-sided development, you have true knowledge. I asked Nisargadatta Maharaj once who had truly understood his teachings, and he said 'One, Maurice Frydman.' He had Frydman's photo on his wall, and every day, after his Guru puja, he would put a blob of kum-kum on Frydman's forehead, along with the foreheads of the teachers of his lineage and other famous Gurus such as Ramana Maharshi and Ramakrishna. No other student of his got that treatment. Thousands came to see him during the last years of his life, but apart from one other person, I never heard Maharaj declare anyone to be enlightened. Papaji taught for decades, met some of the most famous teachers of the twentieth century, and spoke with thousands of people who came to him for advice. Although he often said that enlightenment was easy and available to all, the list of jnanis he said he had met during his life was small enough to be counted on one hand. Not one of his own students ever appeared on that list. Ramana Maharshi taught for over fifty years and in that time he only publicly acknowledged the liberation of two of his devotees: his mother and the cow Lakshmi. A few others (Masthan and Muruganar) were acknowledged indirectly, and I am sure that a few others (Papaji, Lakshmana Swamy and Robert) attained that state through Ramana's power and grace. Again, relative to the numbers who came to see him, the number who attained jnana was tiny. I don't believe that the short lists of jnanis that these teachers have all produced is a result of their opinion or their one-sided development. It comes from looking at all the people they met with the eye of jnana and declaring, through knowledge and experience, that very few people have attained this state.

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9.

David Godman Thursday, November 7, 2013 at 9:46:00 PM PST

Ed You wrote: 'It is my opinion based on my own experience and being with Robert for 8 years and with Jean Dunn, that there is far more in the world than was dreamt of by Ramana and Robert.'

If you see a world in front of you, then what you see is a projection of your own mind. In that state you can say that there is no end to the number of exciting things that can be discovered and known in manifestation. However, if you don't have a mind that projects a world in front of you, then all you know is Self and Self alone. The world is then an uncaused appearance in consciousness, having consciousness as its supporting reality. Someone once asked Ramana if he would be willing to go on a tour of India. He replied, 'What's the point. Wherever I go I only see the Self'. Robert and Ramana shared the same knowledge that consciousness alone existed, and that occasionally manifestation appeared in that consciousness. If you are that consciousness, you know that the manifestation is also yourself, but you don't see it as separate or different from you.

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10.

Anonymous Friday, November 8, 2013 at 2:30:00 AM PST

Sasak Roshi in an interview about his possbile successor : Q: Change of pace. How do you feel about designating a successor? A: Very complicated. There are things that I cannot announce. There are things that are joyful to announce but I haven’t yet decided about my successor. If someone would turn up who can totally abandon their ego and that can manifest that zero state that is neither subject nor object and that is a complete unification of plus and minus then I think I would make them a successor. However such a person has not yet appeared, a person that knows that true democracy is a manifestation of true love and that the manifestation of true love is the manifestation of the state that is neither subject not object. If such a person did, then I could finally take a break and be happy about that. ************** In other words, all the long years with an endless number of people coming to study under him, so far NOONE was worth to be appointed as successor. Strange isn't it ?

Kathy

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11.

Ed Muzika Friday, November 8, 2013 at 10:32:00 AM PST

Oh David, I agree with that altogether. I am talking about worlds within worlds of the manifestation. Robert saw many of these worlds, astral planes and all that. I saw things and felt things I did not. I watched how when he received a letter from a student, he spent a long time “sensing” the envelope. Running his fingers along its edges, smelling it, and then very gently opening it and reading it slowly. He did that too with the fabric inside my car as I drove him from place to place. But he never talked about these things so I ignored them. However, one of my students, actually several, are teaching me to perceive the manifestations differently. There are worlds within worlds and I begin to see them. But these worlds Robert never talked about. Maybe Robert thought them too big a distraction from his message to ignore the world, or perhaps he thought people would think him crazy and he kept it to himself. Also I doubt Francis’ comment that you were more academic than practiced. I see the same beyondness in you as I saw in Robert.

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Janet B. Friday, November 8, 2013 at 2:10:00 PM PST

David, The comments you make are as excellent as your interview. The clarity with which you describe the jnani's state with its absence of a personal will and hence an egoic desire to be seen as the giver/producer of miracles and bliss is admirable. Thank you.

Dear Ed, I hope you are doing well. I think of you often with deep gratitude. With much love, Janet B.

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Anonymous Friday, November 8, 2013 at 2:21:00 PM PST

This is such a cool discussion. Many thanks Edji and David. (I will have a look into the link you provided on Bhagavan’s Teachings on Creation.) As to worlds within worlds, astral planes, and various paranormal abilities and manifestations - there are millions of people who have these experiences. There are millions of people who are psychic, had near-death experiences, telepathic communication, spontaneous healings of self and others etc. I had many of these experiences myself. *** But what do they prove? *** There are mediums who can tell the content of a letter by holding the envelope in their hands - sometimes word for word! There is a vast literature about it, but total denial in mainstream science. Many thanks & all the best, Abe P.S. I just found Robert's talk: THE WORLD IS YOUR MOVIE September 1st, 1991 (...) In other words, the world that you are seeing, observing, is simply your movie. You show yourself a movie whenever you stare at the world. And all the things that you see, is your flick. It

belongs to you, no one else, everything. Nothing just happens. Everything has already happened. And you appear to be going through a movie, where things appear to be happening, but you're really the projectionist, and you are projecting your fairy tale. The idea is to become free, to become liberated. (...) Everything is a mirage, including your body, your thoughts, your feelings. They're all a lie. And they do not really exist. Try to remember that I'm not speaking from a book I read, or what somebody else told me. This has been my direct experience. There is no world. There never was a world. And there never will be a world. No matter how many times I tell you, you are not the body, you are not the mind, you are not the doer, you always identify with yourself as the body. As long as you think about yourself as the body, you have to suffer. You have to go through experiences in life. That's what this world is all about, for the deluded person. Experience after experience after experience. You have to experience all kinds of things when you identify with the body-mind phenomenon. Therefore you should do the best you can to transcend that kind of thinking. (...) As I'm trying to explain this, I'm talking about both worlds, the world of the body and the transcendental world. There is really one world. There is only ultimate oneness. But for the sake of trying to explain these things, I refer to the fact that you appear to have a body, but you are not the body. *** You are absolute reality. That is your state right now. *** Do not worship your body. *** See yourself for what you really are. *** (...) Abe: the next paragraph is what I don’t understand at all – How can this be understood? This again is confusing. It appears that there are two people. It appears as if there is a sage and there's a body that does all kinds of things. But that's why I said it's an appearance. Just as

Ramakrishna and Ramana Maharshi and others appeared to be dying a horrible death and wasting away. I want to inform you that no such thing happened. None of these things are happening. That's why you should never judge because you're judging from the viewpoint of the ajnani. The appearance is there. It's like when Ramana Maharshi was dying, who was dying? A human being appeared to be dying but he said you're making a mistake. There is nobody here dying.

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Anonymous Friday, November 8, 2013 at 3:58:00 PM PST

Part 1 of 2 "At the darkest moment I will find what I'm looking for, I will find my self whom been lost, because this journey will be my Spiritual Awakening." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Li96Z8wVgw *** I just read David's *** VERY ILLUMINATING *** article on Bhagavan's Teachings on Creation: "I approve of all schools." It’s so fantastic. This makes my day! Many, many thanks, Abe 1. The lower teaching is solipsism (drishti- srishti-vada) - the world is projected and created by the person who sees it - taught for the sake of the sadhaka. "Bhagavan ... mostly passed on versions of drishti-srishti-vada."

2. The higher teaching is what he experienced himself as the ultimate truth: creation had never really happened (ajata-vada). "... his own true experience, is only the doctrine of ajata [non-creation]." Bhagavan: “Nothing exists except the one reality. There is no birth or death, no projection [of the world] or drawing in [of it], no sadhaka, no mumukshu [seeker of liberation], no mukta [liberated one], no bondage, no liberation. The one unity alone exists ever.” Editor's Note: Although Bhagavan knew that ajata is the supreme truth, he actually taught the doctrine of illusory appearance as an explanation for the world manifestation since he knew that this would provide the maximum practical benefit. When the devotee truly understands that the world is an illusory projection of the mind, his mind no longer moves towards it. When this happens, the mind goes back to its source and disappears, leaving the ajata experience in which one knows directly that the world never existed or was created except in the imagination. The doctrine of simultaneous creation is therefore a working hypothesis that enables seekers to find the ultimate truth. Muruganar: The Self, consciousness, is the material and efficient cause for the appearance of the world. When the rope [the material and efficient cause] appears as an illusory snake, this is vivarta siddhanta [the doctrine of illusory appearance]. The meaning is, just like the snake in the rope, the world is an imaginary appearance [kalpita] in reality, consciousness.

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Anonymous Friday, November 8, 2013 at 3:59:00 PM PST

Part 2 of 2 3. Ok. With this distinction in mind, Robert’s talks become very clear! ADVAITA VEDANTA August 18, 1991 In other words, there is no external world. There is no thing but mind. And because there is mind, there is a universe. Therefore I am the creator of the universe. Everything exists, because the mind exists. And they believed they were the mind. They came a long way, for they now

realized that everything was an emanation of the mind. When they had this revelation, they didn't stop there. They pondered “What is mind? Where did mind come from? If my mind is the cause of creation," they pondered “where did the mind come from?" Again they pondered this for days, weeks, months, years, until again something happened. This time they realized that mind is the cause of the relative world, and the relative world is false. So the mind that I think is important must also be false. In other words, there is no mind. If there's no mind then who am I? It took a long time to discover that they were mind, and everything came from the mind. Now they were realizing that they are not mind. They inquired “Then who am I? Who am I?" and they abided in themselves. They became the selves. They lost track of the body, the universe, the mind. They were not in a state of samadhi, because they were awake. During their awakened state, they became nothing. There was no mind. There was no universe. There was no God. There was no body. There were no others. There was just absolute nothingness. And they realized this is the Self. Not myself, but the Self. And they were absorbed in the silence. From that moment on the world still appeared to them, but they were able to see right through it. All pain disappeared, worry, fear, desire. It all disappeared. It was transmuted. Now these ancient Rishis were unable to share this with devotees or disciples because it's a personal experience. Since it's beyond words, it's beyond mind and beyond thoughts, how can one actually share this? Therefore these ancient Rishis became silence. They never spoke. Yet there was such power emanating from them, that if the right devotees came to them and just sat with them, doing nothing, saying nothing, wanting nothing, desiring nothing, they too achieved the same results. It was amazing. This technique was passed down through the ages. It was commonly called Advaita Vedanta or jnana, and it is still the supreme truth. Now let's talk about you. As long as you want to become enlightened you are making a grave mistake, for there is no one to become enlightened. JUST BEING August 4th, 1991 We're not trying to say that suffering does not exist that would be idiotic to the person who is experiencing the suffering. We are saying that there are those beings that are called jnani's that have transcended the world, the universe and everything thereof and there is no suffering for those people. Yet others see them suffer. The suffering is apparent to others who are not in that state. Therefore you must not be judgmental. Because when you speak, you're speaking about the state that you're in and you have no idea of the state of the jnani.

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Dennis Friday, November 8, 2013 at 4:05:00 PM PST

Hello Ed wonderful conversation. Reminds me of a different perspective namely J. Krishnamurti's. "The observer and observed are one". He did not denie the world.

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Anonymous Friday, November 8, 2013 at 4:22:00 PM PST

Ranjit Maharaj (Nisargadatta Maharaj’s successor): The real, or final, understanding, is that there is no one who has anything to gain, no one who is seeking, and no one to understand. This understanding is what the apparent journey of spiritual seeking is heading towards. It should be clear, though, that the mind itself meets its death in this realization (which is why it is called “final” understanding). Unwittingly, the ego-mind brings about its own death. The ideas of the Master, once accepted and absorbed, transform the mind completely, reducing it to its original state of no-mind, or pure consciousness. Realization is the last scene of the last act for the purified mind. The curtain comes down on the false “doer.” There is no repeat performance.

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Anonymous Friday, November 8, 2013 at 5:20:00 PM PST

--- CORRECTION --- I (Abe) wrote: The lower teaching is solipsism (drishti- srishti-vada) ... * * * David: Drishti-srishti-vada is the theory that the world is projected and created by the person who sees it. Bhagavan did teach this, ... David: It is a fundamental tenet of advaita that the world is projected by the individual mind that sees it. Some people think that this means that each individual jiva projects its own world, but Bhagavan taught that this is not the correct perspective. He maintained that the jiva which sees the world is the only jiva that exists, and that all the other people whom this jiva sees are merely imagined projections of the first jiva. Since all things and all beings are merely the externalised projection of the jiva who sees them, it follows that when this jiva is absent or destroyed, the other beings and things simply cease to exist.

David: The solipsistic notion that there is only one individual self, and that all ‘other selves’ are created and imagined within it, has an advaitic parallel in the teaching of ‘eka jiva’, ‘one jiva’. Bhagavan: Let the heroic one who possesses a powerful intuition accept that the jiva is only one, and thus become firmly established in the Heart. Bhagavan: The world does not say that it was created in the collective mind or that it was created in the individual mind. It only appears in your small mind. If your mind gets destroyed, there will be no world. *** THIS IS CLEARLY SOLIPSISM, *** but then David contradicts himself by saying: "Swami Siddheswarananda made two claims: that Bhagavan did not teach drishti-srishti-vada, and that solipsism is the same as drishti-srishti-vada. I hope I have presented enough evidence here to demonstrate that both assertions are unsustainable." I don't understand this! HOW IS DRISHTI-SRISHTI-VADA NOT SOLIPSISM?! HOW IS IT DIFFERENT?!

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Anonymous Friday, November 8, 2013 at 6:20:00 PM PST

Bhagavan: When the mind emanates from the Self, the world appears. When the world appears, the Self is not seen, and when the Self appears or shines, the world will not appear. * * * This is classic Sufism! The Divine Essence (Self, One) is concealed by the world (multiplicity), while the world (multiplicity) is concealed by the Divine Essence (Self, One). "Jannah, the Arabic word for heaven, or paradise, [ibn Arabi] interprets as deriving from janna, to conceal. Jannah is thus for him the Divine Essence in which all multiplicity is concealed; consequently, the realization of absolute unity." http://books.google.de/books?id=2R8gWgQvoNoC&pg=PA62

David: Bhagavan's teachings and comments are not derived from a study of vedantic texts but from his own experience. Bhagavan: Maharshi’s teaching is only an expression of his own experience and realisation. Others find that it tallies with Sri Sankara’s. Devotee: Quite so. Can it be put in other ways to express the same realisation? Bhagavan: A realised person will use his own language. * * * Path to Trancendence according to Shankara, Ibn Arabi, and Meister Eckhart http://www.scribd.com/doc/62323509/Paths-to-Transcendence-According-to-Shankara-Ibn-Arabi-Amp-Meister-Eckhart-Spiritual-Masters In my humble opinion, I find they say all the same in more or less their own language. Now let's see if we can get the EXPERIENCE! But I think I understand what Edji is driving at. It might be that the jnani's are overemphasizing the experience of extinction within the Divine Essence (Self), heaven, paradise. Accordingly to the Sufis this "voyage from man to God and within God" is certainly NOT the highest accomplishment! The highest accomplishment is to return from extinction within the Essence and fully embrace one's humanity - "voyage from God to man and within man"! The former they call "path of the Saints" and the latter "path of the Prophets". David: Someone once asked Ramana if he would be willing to go on a tour of India. He replied, 'What's the point. Wherever I go I only see the Self'. Ramana's view seems to be one-sided. In contrast, the Sufic tradition emphasizes balance between Divinity and humanity: [T]he One is continually driven to transform itself into Many. The goal of spiritual realization is therefore to penetrate beyond the exterior multiplicity of phenomena to a consciousness of what subsequent writers have termed the 'unity of existence'. This entails the abolition of the ego or 'passing away from self' (fana') in which one becomes aware of absolute unity, followed by 'perpetuation' (baqa') in which *** one sees the world as at once One and Many, and one is able to see God in the creature and the creature in God. ***

http://www.muslimphilosophy.com/ip/rep/H022

Ultimately, this may be NOT a superior BUT more complete realization than Ramana's, Robert's, and Nisargadatta's!!!

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David Godman Friday, November 8, 2013 at 8:33:00 PM PST

Anonymous said in the last comment: I don't understand this! HOW IS DRISHTI-SRISHTI-VADA NOT SOLIPSISM?! HOW IS IT DIFFERENT?! Solipsism maintains that there is nothing beyond what the mind can think and perceive. Ramana and other advaita masters have pointed out that the mind appears in a substratum, the Self, and that when individuality (the mind) definitively disappears, the residual substratum is experienced as one's own Self. In solipsism mind is treated as the only thing that exists. The advaita teachings on drishti-srishti vada (the perceived world is a projection of the mind that sees it) say that when the mind and the world it projects vanish there is something else beyond that personally-created manifestation that remains as the true experience of oneself.

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Ed Muzika Friday, November 8, 2013 at 8:38:00 PM PST

I really don't find value in trying to reduce or to transmute one tradition into another. You can always find similarities and differences then make some meta statement as to what that means, but because it is a statement about, it becomes even more removed from experience and just a mental symbol and concept manipulation thing I was all too guilty of for many years. I think we need to remain as closely as possible to experiences and the validity of the conclusions we draw from direct experiences rather than wend our way into philosophy> I have studied and been involved in traditions that have little do do with Advaitin scholarism,

beingness, Shakti, light of consciousness, etc., such as Zen, and been much involved in exploring so-called stages of emptiness and Voids which you won't find much talk of in Advaita. Then there are the experiences of witches, warlocks, etc., who influence the manifest world such as Carlos Castanedas' wizards and other shamans. These are legitamite spiritual experiences that Advaitins and Zen people might scoff at. I don't. I think the magical and energy traditions offer views into the nature of Consciousness and the mind that other traditions completely ignore.

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Robert Sunday, November 10, 2013 at 3:34:00 AM PST

"I think we need to remain as closely as possible to experiences and the validity of the conclusions we draw from direct experiences rather than wend our way into philosophy" Good point Ed, this is all about direct experience If the goal is the Self all thoughts are red herrings "Then there are the experiences of witches, warlocks, etc., who influence the manifest world such as Carlos Castanedas' wizards and other shamans. These are legitamite spiritual experiences that Advaitins and Zen people might scoff at. I don't. I think the magical and energy traditions offer views into the nature of Consciousness and the mind that other traditions completely ignore." Although i feel that true Self-realization (which isn't Advaitin) encompasses all, including all the traditions you mentioned, you have another good point here. I'd like to ask both Ed & David what you think about vegetarianism & its importance? I once heard Robert Adams say that no person who is eating meat could ever be fully Self-realized, in my own experience i found that early on the path having a sattvic diet helped somewhat, it calmed the mind waves a bit, but now it makes no discernible difference Ramana seemed to have somewhat agreed with this saying that the more one progresses the less difference it makes what one eats, yet Robert, in this instance anyway, was adamant that no-one who eats meat, including any of the Tibetan monks who have to eat it for their survival, could be fully Self-realized beings, but maybe this is just what those in Roberts presence needed to hear at the time I'm also curious whether either of you have ever tried entheogens like LSD or psilocybin mushrooms in the past? And if so what your experiences were like

Appreciate your views on this :) Thankyou

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Ed Muzika Friday, November 8, 2013 at 8:40:00 PM PST

Thank you Janet, I also feel gratitude and much love for you.

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Ed Muzika Friday, November 8, 2013 at 9:29:00 PM PST

Very beautifully put David.

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David Godman Friday, November 8, 2013 at 10:06:00 PM PST

Ed You wrote: 'I watched how when he received a letter from a student, he spent a long time “sensing” the envelope. Running his fingers along its edges, smelling it, and then very gently opening it and reading it slowly.' That's interesting.Papaji sometimes used to do the same when he was picking up letters that people had written to him. I remember one morning when he was about to leave for Haridwar. There were about twenty unopened letters on his table. He knew he didn't have time to read them all and reply to them, so he picked them up one by one with his finger and thumb, and rubbed each one slightly. On the basis of this inspection he decided which ones needed to be replied to in the limited time he had available. I remember another occasion when a German woman wrote a several-page-long letter in satsang

explaining some long drama in her life and asking for advice. When she turned up that morning, with her letter in a sealed envelope, she was told that because Papaji was recovering from a cataract operation, letters to him would be limited to one page. She summarised what she had written the night before in one page and handed it in. She told me later that when Papaji read out her letter, he stared at the one-page summary, but 'read out' the letter she had kept in her bag. She bought a tape of the satsang later and found that his rendition of her hidden letter was word-perfect. Again, I remember being in his house one day when he suddenly demanded to see a letter that someone had written to him because he wanted to reply to it. It couldn't be found anywhere. The person who had written was asked where she had delivered it to, and she replied that she had only composed it in her head, and that she hadn't actually put it down on paper yet.

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David Godman Friday, November 8, 2013 at 11:30:00 PM PST

Ed 'I am talking about worlds within worlds of the manifestation. Robert saw many of these worlds, astral planes and all that. I saw things and felt things I did not.... 'But he never talked about these things so I ignored them.' I was once watching a cricket match with Papaji. In the longer form of the game, the fielding players all wear white. One player dived for the ball and skidded across several feet of wet grass. When he stood up, he had a long green stain all the way down his shirt and pants. Papaji laughed, but then he went quiet. Then, out of nowhere he said, 'I used to have a green body once. A long, thin, translucent one that you could see through. I had incarnated in this world where people go to when they have vast amounts of good karma to use up. It was a place of enjoyment only. I lived there for hundreds of years, just enjoying myself.' I asked him, 'Were people meditating there? Were people getting enlightened there? It sounds like it was a place that was full of good people.' 'No,' he said, 'we were all too busy enjoying ourselves to think about anything else.' Up till this point he was treating his memories as entertainment and laughing at them. Then he got quiet and serious for a while. Eventually he said, 'I have visited many worlds in dreams, visions and other lives. I even went to

the Hell realm once and had a chat with Dharamaraja [the boss of the Hindu Hell]. I have been to hundreds of worlds, but this is the only one where I have seen people striving for liberation and actually attaining it.You don't know how lucky you are.' And then, as he kept quiet, I contemplated my own extraordinary luck. Not only had I been born in this unique world, I had had a desire for jnana that had brought me to India and to great beings who had realised the Self, and I was sitting right next to one who had attained that state and who had the power to reveal to it others. Ramana Maharshi liked to play down any miraculous things that happened in his vicinity, and he generally took care to keep private any special knowledge that he had. However, he once let his guard down when a devotee expressed his concern that Bhagavan was going to give up his body. Bhagavan replied, 'I exist in many lokas in many different forms. The disappearance of one body in one world won't make much of a difference.' This was recorded by Krishna Bhikshu and recorded in his Telugu biography, Sri Ramana Leela, a book that was read and checked by Bhagavan during his lifetime. Though Bhagavan and Papaji might, in unguarded moments, talk about these things, neither of them attached any importance to them. For them, all manifestation is just a transient and unreal appearance in the one reality, the underlying Self. Worlds, realms and planes may come and go, but the Self always abides.

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David Godman Friday, November 8, 2013 at 11:33:00 PM PST

Ed I liked your story about Robert's dog: 'There is also the story of how he brought his little dog Dimitri back to life in order to help him transition across.' Papaji once told me that he had inadvetently raised the son of a devotee from the dead. The boy had died on a train to Lucknow. His mother claimed the body from the station, but instead of cremating it, she put it in his bed and invited Papaji for a visit. When Papaji arrived, the boy's mother didn't tell him that her son had died the day before. Papaji thought the boy was just being lazy, so he called out, 'Get out of bed! I've come to visit you.' And the boy got up and came out of the bedroom.

Papaji said that the power of a jnani can occasionally perform feats such as this. In this particular instance, Papaji said it worked because he had no idea that the boy was dead. He told me, 'I would not have said anything like this if I had known that the boy was dead. The power of a jnani can change destiny, even bringing someone back to life, but it only worked in this case because I had no idea he was dead, and had no desire to raise him from the dead.' When Lakshmana Swamy was still giving darshan, he regularly used to lecture us on not desiring siddhis, or trying to attain them. And sometimes he said, 'Miracles may happen around jnanis, but they never try to perform them because there is no one left to decide "I must perform this miracle".' Imagine my surprise then when he casually remarked one day that jnanis could, in exceptional circumstances, raise people from the dead. I was wondering what might have happened that day to make him say something so uncharacteristic. At that time he was in his seventies and learning to drive. Every day he would drive alone around Arunachala and stop occasionally to sit and look at the hill. I remember hoping that he hadn't accidentally knocked someone down and had to resort to emergency resurrection first aid.

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David Godman Friday, November 8, 2013 at 11:42:00 PM PST

Ranjit Maharaj (Nisargadatta Maharaj’s successor): Nisargadatta Maharaj was given permission by his Guru, Siddharameswar Maharaj, to teach and to initiate people with the mantra of the lineage, but he was not allowed to appoint a successor since the lineage had gone elsewhere. Ranjit Maharaj was also a devotee of Siddharameswar Maharaj. He started teaching after Nisargadatta passed away at the request of the Mumbai devotees who felt that the mantle of teaching should be taken up by someone who had also been with Siddharameswar Maharaj. Ranjit would occasionally visit Nisargadatta Maharaj while I was there. Nisargadatta would sometimes introduce him as a jnani and a fellow devotee of his own Guru. He definitely had the qualifications to teach from his own experience, but it is not right to say that he was Nisargadatta Maharaj's successor.

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cybervigilante Saturday, November 9, 2013 at 9:48:00 AM PST

I used to think this way but I'm becoming a big-tent kind of guy. To heck with "my guru is more enlightened than your guru." When penned poems that show every sign of enlightenment, that came from enlightenment. Maybe he didn't even know that, and it wasn't present all the time, but so what? A four year old can say something enlightened, even if he doesn't have a robe, beard, and a funny hat. I know there are frauds out there, starting with Osho, but I think all this worrying about who is more enlightened has also become bullshit.

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Anonymous Saturday, November 9, 2013 at 10:05:00 AM PST

Edji: I think we need to remain as closely as possible to experiences and the validity of the conclusions we draw from direct experiences rather than wend our way into philosophy. * * * Dear Edji, I don't see a conflict between "direct" experiences (how direct can they actually be?) and so called intellectual understanding. Intellectual understanding is itself an experience (virtual realization) and a precursor to actual realization and must not be scoffed off as "philosophy". Siddharameshwar Maharaj: However, the main difficulty is in experientially realising the Truth about what has been intellectually understood. ... There is an intellectual understanding, but no realisation! The remedy for this is to study with determination, and learn the teaching. Unless there is sustained and repeated study, it will not be fully understood and realised. One can travel through all sorts of astral planes for a 1000 incarnations and have all kinds of fantastic "experiences". And what then?! --- Then one can write New Age bestseller books! I have nothing against experiences. I had many experiences myself including "divine visions", but what do they mean? It could be argued that Robert spend his entire adult life to gain an intellectual understanding of what had happened to him when he was age 14. Robert: You don't want to have an experience, that is not the goal. The goal is to become a good for nothing. All the best,

Abe

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Anonymous Saturday, November 9, 2013 at 11:13:00 AM PST

David: In solipsism mind is treated as the only thing that exists. David: Solipsism maintains that there is nothing beyond what the mind can think and perceive. * * * Dear David, what you call solipsism here is actually idealism. Strictly speaking, solipsism means that MY INDIVIDUAL MIND IS THE ONLY MIND (solus ipse) and this is – according to your essay – what Ramana taught! David: It is a fundamental tenet of advaita that the world is projected by the individual mind that sees it. Some people think that this means that each individual jiva projects its own world, but Bhagavan taught that this is not the correct perspective. He maintained that the jiva which sees the world is the only jiva that exists, and that all the other people whom this jiva sees are merely imagined projections of the first jiva. Since all things and all beings are merely the externalised projection of the jiva who sees them, it follows that when this jiva is absent or destroyed, the other beings and things simply cease to exist. It is beside the point whether a Self remains after the destruction of my individual mind or nothing. Unless we accept that there is more than just one individual mind, I don’t see how one can say Ramana’s teaching is not solipsistic. I don’t know, but this is either a misrepresentation of Ramana’s teaching, or not to be taken literally (a more or less skilful means for the sake of the sadhaka), or nonsense; I have to side here with Swami Siddheswarananda’s point of view: The term “mind” in the Vedantic sense means ATMAN – and this is what Ramana’s teaching of “eka jiva” must have meant; and not that my individual mind is the only mind there is!

All the best, Abe P.S. There is a very elucidating essay by A. Coomaraswamy who might shed some further light on the issue: On the One and Only Transmigrant http://turiya.vidya.hu/konyvtar/pdf/On%20the%20One%20and%20Only%20Transmigrant.pdf

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Max Saturday, November 9, 2013 at 12:13:00 PM PST

David, thank you so much for your many kind replies. They are very inspiring! And funny too ;) "I remember hoping that he hadn't accidentally knocked someone down and had to resort to emergency resurrection first aid." :D

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David Godman Saturday, November 9, 2013 at 9:52:00 PM PST

Anonymous Subjective idealism and solipsism both propose that the mind and its activities are the only thing that exists. This means that they cannot accept that something will remain if mind is absent. Ramana taught that everything that is seen and perceived by an individual thinker or perceiver is mind and mind alone, but he was also quite clear that there was a state that could be experienced first-hand if mind did not exist.This alone disqualifies him from being either a solipsist or a subjective idealist.

Bhagavan did subscribe the the eka-jiva position (there is only one mind, not a multiplicity of them) but he did not equate that mind with Atman as you suggest. He said that the final state was mano-nasa (destroyed mind). Mind does not become one with the Atman, nor is it a synonym for the Atman. When mind is eliminated, Atman alone remains. This conclusion, derived from direct experience, is an experiential invalidation of both the idealism and solipsism positions on the nature of the mind and the world. Thanks for the link. I have just read the article again after a long time.

November 9, 2013

LET US CLEANSE SPIRITUAL DISCOURSE OF MEANINGLESS TERMS AND SEEK ONLY SELF-REALIZATION Let us be clear about several things. The terms “enlighteNment” and “awakening” are useless. They convey tOo many different ideas to too many different people. Let us settle on the term “Self-Realization” as perhaps the only one that MAY HAVE an operational/experiential definition, and we can define it in several ways. But I want to make it absolutely clear that Self-Realization” does not mean one has improved one’s mind or soul in any way. One has not progressed and necessarily become more purified than before, although that may be the route some take. One does not become something superior or better than one was before. There is no progress towards a higher state. The mind is not eliminated, but it does become a tool of the Self. What happens is that FOR WHATEVER REASON: grace, meditation, sadhana, God or guru, you, as an individual, suddenly know who you are as Consciousness or awareness or Witness, and realize you are not just the body, but that your body is in you. You are sentience itself, you are life and the Life Force (Shakti) itself. Your essential nature is bliss, energy, and love, not the body, mind, or emotions. You are that Life Force. You are the knowing of that Life Force. You are the principle of sentience, of being aware of both body and Consciousness. You are the energetic spark which explodes into your awareness like an H-bomb revealing that your little body/mind unit is nothing but the infinite energy and knowingness of the infinite flowing through you. You and God are one. That is the feeling of that experience. God and I are one. He sits in and around me, and I willingly serve as his servant.

November 11, 2013

THE DISCREDITING OF EXPERIENCE IN SOME SPIRITUAL CIRCLES. There are many spiritual teachers who tell us to ignore experiences because they are temporary and come and go. They say the only “reality” is in the unchanging source, variously referred to as “beingness,” “emptiness,”the “source,” etc. They say resting in this beingness reveals the manifest world as a flowing stream of manifestation, delightful to watch, and yet not touched. These people talk of wanting nothing, seeking nothing, being nothing, and the profound peace they feel. However, no matter how much they try to escape this fact, they are still talking about an experience: the experience of watching an unending flow of experiences and yet still unattached, unaffected, feeling happiness and great peace. One of the characteristics of many of these people is the feeling they convey of having direct access to a higher truth than you have, and extolling their experience of an indifferent witnessing of the experiential flow. Please tell me how the experience of being a witness apart from the flow of other experiences is in any way, superior? Having dwelled in their delusions of superiority for a long time, having felt arrogantly supra-knowledgeable, I know what a trap this is. These people often talk of others as living within the confines of learned stories, repetitive patterns of childhood-fostered beliefs and societal-accepted patterns. But they don’t realize they are living out their own story of having attained non-attaining, escape from the common experiences of others they regard as trapped in stories. But they are still trapped in their ideas of having found a truth worth conveying to others of a kind of impersonal, non-seeking, ordinariness, which to them, is extraordinary. Ironically, many of these people refer to their state as “true self” as opposed to the false self of multiple stories of the mind, but there is no feeling of self, no sense of me, and they take this as transcendence. However, this impersonal witnessing is hardly a state to be admired because it lacks “juice.” “Juice” is the capacity to fully immerse in that stream of experience and take it into the “me,” the sense of I Am, and living from there entirely energized and enlivened by the Life Force. There is such unbelievable joy flowing with, swimming with the flow of experiences, temporarily identified with those experiences as they unfold, as opposed to being separate and witnessing

them. From this place we reclaim the I Am, follow it to its base in our consciousness revealing that base qualities of objectless awareness of love, energy, knowledge and bliss. This I am IS JUST AS PERMANENT AS THEIR UNCHANGING WITNESS, because without an experience of the I Am, there is no experience of the witness. It is only the flow of experiences being witnessed that reveals the witnesser to the witness. When the movie of Consciousness stops, the witnessing is ended, and the witness has nothing to perceive and all self-awareness disappears. Without the stream of experiences, the witness does not exist in the sense of being known or knowable. Only the presence of the I-Am sense, the sense of me allows a self-reflexive knowing of self. It is my firm belief that all these teachers who talk about witnessing the flow from an impersonal stance, either have lost that sense of I Am, of personal self, or have never experienced it. Many, many, people to not experience a solid sense of self, of aliveness, or joy and sorrow-filled juiciness.

FROM A STUDENT AT OUR LAST LOS ANGELES RETREAT: Oh My Loving Edji, These burning arrows of Love from you and Deeya are killing me ever so slowly. They penetrate my body and as they rip through, the SEARING pain is overshadowed by the TREMENDOUS BLISS. I feel like a ghostly yo-yo, entering the world and then leaving it. Even the slightest daily events get my heart center rotating and tears start to flow. I am desperate without your presence even though I can feel you all the time, almost physically at times - it is just not enough. I am never going to leave you Father and Mother. Forgive all my begging as it it my HEART screaming for completion. Oh what a Glorious day when we become one. I can feel many angels and saints and lights surrounding my meditations, along with your so loving presence. p.s. please send Grace to my wife also! She is watching this happen and secretly wants to join in also.

November 26, 2013

Bhakta, Bhakta, Burning Bright, in Kali Yuga's Dark Night

Email from Steve who attended our October Retreat: My Dearest, I AM IN LOVE. I am truly in Love. With what I do not know but it is coursing through me this very minute. Every atom of my being is deeply in Love. This is so overwhelming and deep and meaningful-never have I felt this much encompassed and surrounded in such an elixir of Divine Grace. This is not a personal love it is impersonal and a thousand times deeper than the deepest waterfall. My dear Love Edji, you and Deeya placed a piece of coal in my soul and it is turning into a untouchable Diamond that lies so deep within this soul, its brilliance is drawing me directly to it, its radiance is pulling me to it (I AM coming Home). Finally I am on that footpath of Light. Just your compassionate thought produced a whole new reality. How can I ever thank you, its impossible to repay the Divine but only by your example can others know of the true brilliance that exists before them. I bow my head to the Lord. God took me today. Everyday you breathe through me The Kindness of you Heart I bow to You both. Oh! what a wonderful thing to be so DEEPLY in LOVE It burns....and a fire has started. OH! I LOVE YOU. steve

MY REPLY: Fantastic Steve! But I need to caution you. Such fantastic love usually is accompanied by a flip-side of negative emotions often called the Shadow Side. The Shadow manifests when the Beloved fails the expectations of the Lover for one reason or another. The Lover feels rejected, despised, ignored, jealous or hurt, whereupon the darkside needs to be worked through in what is often called "shadow-work." This is when most relationships break up, and the former Lover becomes a hater and a hurter. There is a 180 degree turn from projecting positive elements onto the Beloved, to projecting negative elements. At this point, the former Lover must understand this is where the deepest spiritual work occurs--working through the shadow. Usually it is not all positive then all negative, but a cycling between the two. It is very, very important not to run away at this time. This has happened to other students, though not so dramatically as is the case with Lila. Think back into your own life. Remember when you were overwhelmingly in love with someone then something happened, an affair, a breakup of some sort, and then how much you hated that person for a long time and perhaps broke off the relationship yourself. Or perhaps someone loved you totally, madly, but you also felt love for someone else, or maybe you left the first relationship for love of someone else, and the first Lover went nuts and became your primary hater. It is very, very important not to leave the relationship if the other leaves it open despite hate going one or both ways. You owe it to yourself to work through the shadow, the negativity.

Posted by Ed Muzika at 9:53 AM

(from Edji’s blog:)

7 comments:

1.

Anonymous Tuesday, November 26, 2013 at 1:10:00 PM PST

In the forests of the night..

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2.

Max Wednesday, November 27, 2013 at 6:42:00 AM PST

Oh thank you so much Steve, this is so very beautiful! I can see your radiance. And thank you Ed for your brilliant response. Have been there many times...

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3.

Anonymous Wednesday, November 27, 2013 at 8:39:00 AM PST

A very valid point and one to my knowledge hasn't been explored yet......the reality of the negative or Shadow side. I think Jung delved into this as well(because I recall references from him to the Shadow) probably recognizing how the energy in Love has its flip side.

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4.

RL52Friday, November 29, 2013 at 11:24:00 AM PST

Wonderful comment and reply - had a few days of absolute Bliss awhile back then some old stuff came forth in a brand new way and was most disturbing. I Love the breadth of your perspective Edji - you never seem to amaze me - I couldn't make it to the last retreat but the next retreat - I'm coming!

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5.

Arvydas Saturday, November 30, 2013 at 3:26:00 AM PST

Ed, could you, please elaborate more on working through shadow in one of your satsangs.

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6.

Anonymous Saturday, November 30, 2013 at 5:48:00 PM PST

It's not my experience that there's this 'shadow.' Isn't that just another model, a concept? I've been deeply and incredibly in love many times and never experienced my own flip side as you portray. I have never become a hater or a hurter, no matter what the other person did to end things. Can you comment on that?

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7.

Steve Eckert Saturday, November 30, 2013 at 11:20:00 PM PST

This Love (it is not even my love) is NOT directed toward any person, place or thing. It is that untouchable diamond, the Absolute, that dwells within our Guru, you the reader and all beings. The body of Edji could pass away tomorrow, blow up a Starbucks or wipe out a few devotees and this Intense Love would be unaffected. Mis-directed Love to a person, place or thing has a flip side of hate and like Edji said if you have unresolved issues the Shadow side may appear. Pure Love of the Absolute is Divine, all-encompassing, totally fulfilling and life changing experience available to you.

Matti Discovers Energetic Beingness TO ME: Dear Edji, I feel am not this body, but a creature of energy. I take a deep breath and feel my relaxed dominion over things around me. There are many humans below me, few by me and none above me. I am creature that hunts and devours. There is no true love, only shades of position. Golden energy shines inside me. My being is strong and sparkling. I exist and roar. I have charisma and meaning as my tools. This is shining personal beingness that has been always inside me and I have felt it sometimes, but now I can access it on will. There is nothing else quite like it. This is as intoxicating as the most extreme feelings of love I have experienced. However I wonder if this all is somehow wrong and evil? ---Matti ED’s REPLY: You are on the right track, for there are two aspects of Self: The witness The love/energy/bliss body, Turiya. Many think it is just the impersonal witness that is self-realization. Even Nisargadatta adopted this concept near the end of his life, but up until the time of his first book, written many years after his awakening to Krishna Consciousness, he emphasized love and the various energies, whether of the Subtle Body, or deeper in Turiya, the basic sentience and bliss thereof. Most definitely , the Self is not just Parabrahman, the Witnessn. It is ND the manifest Self, Turiya, as well as the balance of existence. But the energies and love fill the manifest emptiness with light, power and sentience. This is your best so far. Ed

December 2, 2013

SPIRITUALITY AND AWAKENING IN A NUTSHELL-PART 1: OVERVIEW

The saying, “All roads lead to Rome” does not apply in the spiritual world at all. The paths are different, the techniques are different, the so-called awakenings are different, and the ideas of what constitute a good teacher versus a totally “enlightened being” who may or may not be a teacher, are also different.

The Mind, Consciousness, spiritual experience, emptiness, the Void, devotion, love, grace, ALL VARY FROM TRADITION TO TRADITION.

You will find no mention of the place of love in Zen. You will find no philosophy in Zen. You will find no “final truth” in Zen. There is no discussion of the Absolute, and relative versus absolute.

However, you will find a lot said about form and emptiness, and the empty nature of feeling, thought, the sense data, and of Consciousness itself. You will chant about form and emptiness twice a day in a monastery, and practice many hours either of silent sitting doing nothing (Shikantaza of Soto Zen), or the same number of hours working on up to 25,000 Koans, each “testing” whether you understood elements of the awakenings of fifty generations of Rinzai monks.

Hidden and pervading all of Zen is the Chinese culture and ideas common a thousand years ago, all of which shape your training, your insights, your meditation discoveries and experiences.

There are a lot of hidden rules of behavior controlling your every action, and every action is judged by these hidden cultural artifacts. In fact, along with enlightenment, you have become a replicate of a Zen man of 900 AD China.

How do I know this? How can I make this judgment?

I spent nearly 25 years studying with six Zen masters from Rinzai and Soto schools from three different national traditions: China, Japan, and Korea. I was named America’s first International or World-teacher of Chogye Zen Buddhism in 1999. And, one of my teachers, Kozan Roshi was very explicit about this, saying, “You cannot understand Zen without understanding ancient Chinese culture.” Once you have spent 30 years mastering the insights of 50 generations of previous masters you will have received a total makeover, escaping from your culture of being a 21st Century American or European, the being an integration of that and also of a 10th Century Chinese monk.

I am trying to make myself clear. You have obtained the wisdom but also the limitations of a foreign culture preserved only in monasteries. You will have learned one way of understanding

concepts, words, the nature of Consciousness, the manifest world and the unmanifest. You will have learned a great deal about emptiness, AKA the Void, and one’s manifest experiences.

Tibetan Buddhism is exactly as culture-bound and tradition-driven as Zen, but with a lot more reading of scriptures from the various schools of Buddhism dating back 2,500 years. Each school has different interpretations of what “reality,” time, space, emptiness, and phenomena “are” or mean. Tibetans also embrace Tantra, which is utilizing one’s desires to foster awakening.

Then there are the Advaita schools with the current best known historical examples of Ramana Maharshi/Robert Adams and Siddharameshwar/Nisargadatta.

It is by means of the teachings and practices of these two schools that I had my first two awakening experiences many years ago: first of “No-self,” then of the recognition that I was even beyond the emptiness and fullness of Consciousness itself. I was the witness of all that happened in Consciousness, including the comings and goings of the various states of Consciousness, such as the sleep, dream, and awakened states of Consciousness, as well as te knowing ness of the Subtle Body, the unknowing of the Causal Body, and also the bliss/love of Turiya.

Siddharameshwar presents a coherent model allowing the student to examine the various levels of his or her Consciousness in order to find the “location” of the sense of “I,” or “I Am.” That is, one meditates on one’s own inner experience “looking” and “feeling” for the Self, not the imaginary self that most people believe they are which consists of the idea of an inner, “objective” self, which actually has no referent, and the “seeing-through” of which results in the experience of yourself as having no objective existence, and that what one is, is a unitary oneness state with no inner or outer boundaries; one becomes limitless emptiness shining by its own light of awareness.

This is indeed a deep and profound progressive understanding of yourself, first as a person, then as various levels of Consciousness experience, then as the witness, or Absolute, not touched by Consciousness.

BUT, IT IS STILL A SCHOOL, A PARTIAL LOOK AT THE TOTALITY OF YOU. It is a system, a method of investigation, and a set of conclusions.

It posits that there is no objective self as in Zen, but also there are “levels of Consciousness” which need to be explored in order to discover who and what I am.

The levels are one’s sensual experience of a supposed external world as a body/mind, the knowingness of the mind, energies, emptiness of the Subtle Body, the non-knowing, or non-existence of the Causal Body, and finally, the bliss and energies of Turiya, which is the basic nature of the most subtle aspect of Consciousness. Turiya is the source of the sense of I Am.

In Turiya we find the sense of me or I Am that pervades all other levels of Consciousness. Then, one discovers the one who has explored all these levels and found oneself, the I Am, and who is

entirely beyond Consciousness. This witness, the Absolute, Parabrahman, watches and experiences Consciousness, but is entirely beyond it, untouched by it, but the Witness has mistakenly identified itself with the personhood of the sensual physical world, as well as with the I Am of Turiya, and upon this recognition, goes completely beyond Consciousness and has snuffed out all desires and karma keeping one engaged with Consciousness and its apparent worlds, leading to the same state that Hinayana Buddhists call Moksha, or liberation from attachments to the world and Consciousness, leaving one in the most profound peace and happiness, where there is completion and perfection everywhere one looks.

Siddharameshwar and Maharaj consider this witness, Parabrahman, to be the subject, the True Self so to speak, as opposed of the illusory objective self of concepts, roles, and the I-thought, that are initially seen through and called recognizing No-Self, or no objective self, or no separate self. But the feeling I Am of Turiya, is not part of the subject, but is still an object witness by the absolute. Even those with limited meditation experience early become aware of the difference between the witness and the sense of Self found in Turiya.

However, Siddharameshwar goes one step further than his two students Nisargadatta and Ranjit, admonishing the transcender to continue to worship and devote oneself to love of Turiya, for without that love, one dries up and becomes useless.

My own teacher, and his mentor, Ramana Maharshi missed this aspect of devotion altogether. And Robert rarely acknowledged that there was a witness beyond Consciousness, and usually held that one was the totality of Consciousness. Yet, from time to time he would say even Consciousness does not exist and you are even beyond Consciousness. He felt the teachings of the absolute was beyond most of his students. And, while he talked about love, love was not at the beginning or end of either his philosophy or his methods. Love, you might say, was almost just an add-on.

If you read Robert’s transcripts you hear much mention of love, sometimes as an intrinsic aspect of Consciousness. But if you actually spent much time with him as I did over 8 years, you will find him rather removed and cold. He was not a warm, smiling, happy being. He was indifferent to most every situation. He felt “cold.”

Yet, in his everyday life Robert actually practiced a search for love in women and a few students. He had a difficult time staying in this apparent physical world. His dog Dimitri, of whom Robert said kept him grounded, and when Dimitri died, he would die, which is exactly what happened. But mostly, when not doing something, or seeing someone, or while being at Satsang, Robert would sit quietly by himself, hour after hour, doing nothing.

Yet Robert himself actively searched for the love of a woman including the physical aspects, because he was human, and because dwelling in the peace and completeness of the Absolute eventually results in the need to worship Consciousness and the easiest way to do that is to worship—for Robert—the embodied feminine.

His behaviors towards some of his female students was a constant source of criticism from some critics, but I saw it as a desire to worship Consciousness in the embodied form of women. It is

exactly what Siddharameshwar recommended: worship Consciousness, and the essence of Consciousness is found in Turiya, the experience of which is Love and Bliss. Turiya could be called the love/bliss body as per Jan Esmann.

And, love of a physical man or woman, in the highest sense, is love of the I Am, Turiya, the Love/Bliss Body felt first in another, which then allows the Love/Bliss Body then to be found in oneself as a personal Self-Realization of having the “other,” Turiya, presenting herself or himself to you appearing as “God,” as an experience of incredible love, blissful energies and as the light of Consciousness as bright and pervading as a thousand suns all exploding from within YOU, as your own intrinsic Turiya nature.

However beautiful, consistent and complete is the Siddharameshwar model, you have to understand it still is only one model of Consciousness and Beyond, and does not contain the Zen model or experiences as subsets, nor does it contain God, the divine, nor really does it talk about the Void. It is one of many snapshots of the totality of all that is.

Each of these traditions can take many years to master, and to do so, you have to stay with one teacher or one method for many years to dig a hole into Consciousness to reveal all that is to be revealed by that teacher or method. Otherwise, one flits between teachers and books about or by different teachers each of whom has their own model of reality, their own methods from meditation, to Koans, to rituals, to scripture studies, etc. Without deviation, one needs to follow one method or teacher to dig deeply into the nature of one’s self that has been explored and articulated by whole lineages of teachers.

If you do not persist in one method or one tradition, you will dig, as Osho said, many shallow holes as opposed to reaching the depths of Consciousness.

Posted by Ed Muzika at 12:45 PM

1 comment:

1.

Lester Tuesday, December 3, 2013 at 1:32:00 AM PST

I'm in a quandary about your statement "My own teacher, and his mentor, Ramana Maharshi missed this aspect of devotion altogether." In the books about Ramana, there are lots of examples of him talking about Bhakti, and expressing intense emotions when describing stories about Bhaktas etc. Here's just one quote in Osborne, where he quotes "Maharshi’s Gospel": ‘The eternal, unbroken, natural state of abiding in the Self is Gnana. To abide in the Self you must love the Self. Since God is in fact the Self, love of the Self is love of God, and that is Bhakti.

Gnana and Bhakti are thus one and the same.’ Mmmmm. I guess what you are saying though, is that Siddharameshwar says that love is ESSENTIAL, whereas Ramana did not place that emphasis on love or bhakti.

Steve hits a speed bump in his Bhakta, Bhakta, Burning Bright Path

I never expected the 'Process' to be up and down, down and up, sideways and fuck-ways. I guess I had this concept like when ya see the damn monks sitting in bliss with a smile on their face not to be bothered with the world again. Yea! what a surprise! If it isn't one thing its another, flying high engulfed in Pure Love and the next day looking at my body as a piece of decaying meat. Thank God for you Edji, a good slap on the back to bring me out of stupor and back on the Path. When I look deeper I do Love you deeply and don't really have to say that it is the Absolute that I love, in order to avoid intimacy with another man. I would miss you terribly if you passed away. Please forgive me if I ever let you feel that I didn't Love you with all my Heart. I most certainty know that you deeply Love me with all your Heart. I can feel it and at those times actually go into blissful states, smiling...that smiling monk. The source of all the happenings is always me, all the feelings, honest or in denial are always streaming out from just around the corner of my arm. I really do not know anything about myself. Anything I say or do just vaporizes within hours. I guess all one's past can not be retracted so the idea would be to just live with it and approach life as spontaneous, alive with gusto and challenges and just 'do it'. Easy to say but near impossible to accomplish. Love is not a docile pet but I am discovering a wild and ferocious Tiger that can lick her babies with the most love imaginable or sink its teeth, bringing death to running gazelle. One minute a deep loneliness prevails and the next hour I have no concept of what in the hell loneliness even is or how to define it. This is no easy path, it is up and around the mountain where unexpected events can happen and also the most beautiful views of the valley below to behold. Parts of me I thought were necessary and important are getting scraped off by the thorn bushes and the jagged rocks, it hurts but it lightens the baggage. And maybe I'll even swear at you. This must be called an 'opening path'... into what I have no idea. Like a lotus sitting quietly on a

pond in deep dark water where beauty/life and ugliness/death exist side by side. Intense is an understatement. I am afraid to hurt or injure people so limit my opinions and feelings. I can tell you anything Edji as I know you have the capacity to take it all in no matter what without any judgment whatsoever.....but also with that all important COMPASSION that is bottomless. Dearest Edji, You are the Love of My Life. You are my Dearest Friend You make life possible. I WOULD LAY DOWN MY LIFE FOR YOU! RIGHT NOW steve

REPLY: Steve monks and nuns are people often living very regimented lives and a minimum of stress. It is easy to be peaceful in these circumstances. But I am afraid you will usually find usual people behind their habits and dress. Never worry about the inner states of monks, masters, or criminals; only knowing your own inner state matters. See, love shows you the highs and lows of your own existence; the deeper the love, the deeper are both your good and bad aspects exposed. Everything comes out in the wash. It is all exposed because of the depth of your devotion, even the desire to kill me from time to time. But eventually your love will awaken your own true self--as love and bliss--to show you her true nature, after which you will be content knowing who and what you are. After that, your devotion will be more real, not just effort to attain self-realization. All my love to you. Ed

December 3, 2013

SPIRITUALITY AND AWAKENING IN A NUTSHELL- PART 2: METHODOLOGY

Let’s take a brief look at my suggested methodology for awakening. First and foremost you have to turn your mind’s attention inwards and begin exploring one’s inner world of internal sensation and imagination. This can be done in many, many, many ways. But I suggest we turn our attention inwards with the intent of personally discovering all that we are, both as the exploring subject, and also all the internal phenomena that “I” will perceive and what conclusions I can infer—if any—from that experience. The first thing we notice when we turn our attention inwards is that there is an inner world of objects, feelings, images, emotions, perhaps inner lights, perhaps flowing energies and many other things found within, such as bliss and ecstasy after a long while of “looking.” We also discover that inner exploration involves basically three senses: Inner looking, a visual exploration; inner feeling which consists of feeling the physical and Subtle Bodies from the inside; and inner hearing, listening for any constant inner sounds that may be present. If you are a visually-dominant person there is one set of phenomena you will first experience, namely an inner emptiness either dark or lighted. If you are primarily tactilely oriented, feeling the physical and Subtle bodies will be your priority experiences, along with many emotional experiences. In any event, eventually you should know both inner worlds. Inner hearing played very little part in my process, even though I cannot remember a time I was not aware of inner tones. Therefore I will not talk about it. With inner “seeing,” mostly people will “look” inside and find only darkness. A few people will look inside and find bits and pieces of light within, especially around the third eye, and sometimes around the heart. The meditator is now ready to launch an inner exploration looking for all that I am, the sense of self, the sense of existence, also looking for the subject of the search, the searcher or looker, for they are not the same. The looker, the subject is not the same as the sense of me or the sense of “I am.” I’ll say no more here.

But over time, with an intent to “see” within, one gradually develops an inner “vision” as the inner dense darkness gradually gives way to seeing an inner, transparent “emptiness” where the darkness becomes illumined from an inner light, the so-called “light of Consciousness.” For me, when I first looked within, I found a dense darkness except for a point of light between my eyebrows and inside my skull by about an inch and a half, the so-called Third Eye. Over the next six months I gradually moved that spot of light downwards, expanding it, “pushing” the light downwards into my heart, then into my gut, legs, and then into the ground below and the space above my head until the entire inner space that I witnessed was totally lighted and transparent. This is key, for when this happens, you experience one’s illumined inner space as being an internal cognate of the external world’s space that we habitually live in. Inner space and out space are “seen” to be the same. This vast inner space is often referred to by Buddhists as “Emptiness” or the “Void.” The perception is of a vast inner space that contains all inner phenomena such as of thoughts, emotions, images and imaginations. This is also where dreams are screened by that who we are ultimately. We can now add “feeling” to this inner lighted world of Consciousness by learning how to feel the physical body from the inside. We can feel the sensations where the body touches the explorer’s chair or meditation cushion, and then begin to try to feel one’s arms, legs, feet, and hands from the inside without looking at them. Then one tries to feel anything in the area of the heart, such as “energies,” love, tightness or a balloon-like pressure. This “feeling” exploration leads to beginning experiences of one’s Subtle-Body, one’s “energetic” body of flowing energies, flowing streams of affect, experiencing great Love, and also great emotions ranging from joy, to love, to fear, to a sense of the divine within. Now we are really able to begin self-exploration by looking inwards for the sense of I-Am. This new exploration takes place within that vast inner Emptiness or Void that contains all subjective phenomena. You might say that at this point we are now consciously seeking one’s Self. At this point you will be able to clearly find after a bit, the sense of “I-Am,” floating somewhere, usually somewhere near one’s inner feeling of one’s heart, at first as a little energetic “buzzing,” and gradually as a full recognition of the sense of I-Am, that I-exist and am alive. Then you can truly say, “I am and I exist as energy, light, and love.” Or, “I am alive.” You see, we are gradually discovering aspects of our inner world that are aspects of our Consciousness, not our personhood as a unique individual, but the nature of our Consciousness

which is the same for all people. At this point, you can be fully aware of the external world and also fully aware of the inner world. That inner world will consist of a vast inner light space, Emptiness or Void, which contains all inner phenomena, such as emotions, images, Subtle Body energies, vast Love in the heart, imaginations, dreams, thoughts, etc. Also at this point, you will be aware of two apparent selves: the I-Am sense which we have been attending to, or abiding in, and the looker, or witness who has been watching this entire process. t this point you might ask, what should I concentrate on, the sense of I-Am, or on the looker, the witness, the subject? Here is where we can make the most profound discovery of all: That which I Am really, is it the sense of I-Am, or is it that which witnesses the I Am as a phenomena? Here is the solution: You are both! As a phenomena within the inner world, you are Consciousness with the I Am as the core. But also you are the witness who has become more and more aware of one’s expanding awareness of the inner subjective world of I Am. This witness watches Consciousness and is not of it. It is beyond and separate from Consciousness, untouched by it, as the Absolute, as Parabrahman, while the I Am sense with space and light is the existential reflection of the witness, which we could call “Atman.” It is at this point that you are truly knowing yourself and have many, many awakenings just waiting to happen, including realization of the no-self of the witness, the absolute separation of the witness from Consciousness which is seen as unreal, and finally, an explosive recognition of the I-Am and the divine Consciousness, AKA Krishna or Christ Consciousness, as one in a traditional awakening experience of a vast and explosive light and energy arising from within. The arising is so vast it blows you away so to speak, and one feels in the presence of God with power, love and bliss never experienced before, and a sense of great gratitude and humility before the divine energy (Shaki), and a sense of grace descending from above, with the greatest happiness and joy one has ever felt. At this point the two selves merge as one. Witness, Parabrahman, is joined the bliss and energy of the I Am sense, AKA as Turiya, the Fourth State (Waking, dreaming, deep sleep, and Turiya), and one is pervaded by—at last—a profound sense of knowing who and what you are. This is an unshakable Knowingness that pervades your entire being, and you feel immensely powerful, as for the first time, you know who and what you are, and what you are has very little to do with who and what you thought you were before you started self-exploration.

For further explication please read: The Nisargadatta Gita by Pradeep Apte.

The introduction found in the Master Key to Self-Realization by Siddharameshwar. Consciousness and the Absolute - Nisargadatta, edited by Jean Dunn. Self-Realization and Other Awakenings by Ed Muzika.

December 4, 2013

SPIRITUALITY AND AWAKENING IN A NUTSHELL- PART 3: LOVE

In the previous two sections I presented a thumb nail sketch of the Siddharameshwar approach which is almost exactly the way by which I had my first two awakenings: To unity Consciousness, and then to a recognition that me as Witness had nothing to do with Consciousness, just as the body has nothing to do with the Witness, and which itself is insentient. Consciousness brings awareness of the body and what the body experiences through the senses to the Witness, Parabrahman.

At first you say, now I realize I am not the body, because I can witness it as an experience. I can also witness Consciousness and emptiness as experience. And, from this point of view, neither Consciousness nor the body is me, although the sense of I-Am is an essential element of Consciousness, and it is that which I am looking for. It is through that door that I find both the I-Am, and the witness, AKA the subject, the Absolute, Parabrahman.

However, at this point I may feel as if I know everything, except I do not know the deeper levels of my individual manifestation of Consciousness. I do not yet know the coming and going of states of Consciousness as a direct experience. That is, sleep, dream and waking have been coming and going all my life, but I have not seen the transition, and therefore I do not yet know I am not touched by any state of Consciousness. Nor have I discovered the root core of Consciousness, the character of Turiya of Satchitananda, existence-knowledge-bliss, also called the love/bliss body.

Now supposedly the Absolute, the subject or witness is unchanging; it is experience that changes, the world changes, my body and mind change, and Consciousness is ever-flowing, never the same from moment to moment. But the Witness is beyond Consciousness and when we witness body and mind, though we may feel states of pain, age-related diseases, anxiety or depression, when we quietly observe them, we do so from a “place” outside of existence and

spacetime. When we observe from the Witness, subjectively we feel timeless, or spaceless, and as ageless.

That is we cannot know the Witness as an object, because it is really the subject, or witness of all phenomena but is itself not a phenomena or thing. But we ARE the witness fundamentally, and are always aware of our Witness status at a deep level. It is just that our search of self-discovery makes us consciously aware that we ARE the Witness already, and in that place of being the Witness, there is no space, no time, no change and we “feel” it intuitively. It is this fundamental state that Rajiv Kapur discovered three years ago as we dialogued.

Let me give you an example. I just visited my mother in Arizona. She is 96 years old and in fairly good health. She said, “But I don’t feel 96.” I asked her how old she felt, and she paused. She seemed to go inside to feel how old she was. She said, “Maybe 40.” We go through this same conversation every time I visit her. Usually she says she feels the same as when she was 18.

I have never felt any older than maybe 15 at any time in my life. My body may appear to change and age, but I always feel about the same age, whether the body and mind were 18, 40 or 70. The things I am and was interested in have changed, but I can’t remember my ground-state of awareness as ever having felt different.

Though the body and consciousness change, that basic awareness FROM the witness always feels about the same. As we “descend” into more basic or “deeper’ levels of Consciousness, the better we usually feel as we approach the most subtle states, like Turiya, but the Witness still is not touched unless IT allows for an identification.

The whole spiritual process involves going within and watching/feeling the various levels, states and phenomena of Consciousness. One discoveries many mysteries and levels inside, including the coming and going of the four states of waking, sleep, and dream, as well as the secrets of the Subtle Body, Causal Body, and Turiya.

What we find is that we have identified or can identify with the various experiences and “feeling” of different aspects of Consciousness or even the Witness. Self-discovery involves a sequence of discovery, identification, and then disidentification as we move to different levels of Consciousness.

Almost none of the popular current teachers talk about this. They talk about finding various levels of “conditionings” or conceptual understandings, or “stories” of who we are that are to be let go of to come to beingness in the Now. This is NOT what Siddharameshwar, Nisargadatta, or I teach. We talk about various states of Consciousness, awareness and the Witness apart from stories or concepts or philosophies concerning what we are. Seeing through concepts, conditionings, and stories is still working at the level of mind, memory, and imaging. It still is only inch-deep into one’s Consciousness.

As we follow the sense of “I-Am” back to its source in Turiya, usually the happier, more blissful we feel, and sometimes more loving. Here we must be single-minded; we only attend to the

sense of I Am in order to find its origin. We do not get too attached to Subtle Body experiences, or ones disappearance in the Causal Body. We want to get to a pure experience of I Am in the root state, Turiya.

Indians divide the world into spirit and matter, Purusa and Prakritika. But they also speak of a division between the unmanifest Witness, or Shiva, which is masculine, and the energy of the Life Force, which is feminine, and which is called Shakti. Shiva is unmoving, the Subject and supporter of all experience and supporter of the universe, while Shakti is the dynamic force, energy, which sets everything in motion.

If you practice self-abidance or self-inquiry, and it becomes routine, one can easily get lost by looking for the I Am in the experience of emptiness. One gets hypnotized by looking into the Void. Robert Adams and sometimes Ramana tell students to practice self-inquiry by looking for the source of the I-thought, but the I-thought is of the mind, and when one focuses on the source of the thought, one does not find the I-Am feeling, or even the seeker or looker, or the witness. One just gets lost looking deeper and deeper into emptiness for a place where the I-thought arises.

True self-inquiry requires that we focus on the I-Am sensation which takes us to the most subtle and foundational level of Consciousness known as Turiya or Krishna Consciousness.

The essence of that experience is of blissful energies, joy, pure Shakti in the form of pure energy and light which lights up both the internal Emptiness and the external world.

However, it is here too that we find love in its purest form, whether that love is for an object in awareness, or it is love of the Self, that is Consciousness manifest as Turiya.

The deeper one sinks into one’s Consciousness, the more compellingly is one grabbed by one’s own Self. One becomes fixated on the I Am. One is enthralled by oneself and stares at the I-Am, while the I Am beguiles you.

Ramana said that once he perceived the Self, it grabbed his attention and he never let go. He could not take his eyes or heart off of his sense of existence. That is, he identified with Turiya, Satchitananda, the love/bliss body, not Nisargadatta’s Witness.

The best way never to get lost in the Void while looking for the I Am, is not to just look for it, but to feel for it in one’s heart and chest. While searching for the I Am and while abiding there, also LOVE the I Am, open your heart to the I Am, to one’s sense of existence. Make it a deliberate effort of lovingness.

Play with the I Am sensation. Love it. Wonder what it was like if you could get closer. Invite it into your core, which is really into the Witness by means of the searching mind: deliberately love the I Am, accept the I Am, invite it to get closer to your heart,

wonder about it. Keep the search juicy, not like a dry analytic investigation. This keeps the effort from stalling and dying.

One ought to read Nisargadatta’s Self-Knowledge and Self-Realization because at the beginning of his search, he was a true Bhakta, loving and trusting his guru, and lovingly nursing the I Am into life by fawning attention. The Self, as the manifest Life Force, is attracted to love in any form. If you can love and devote yourself to your guru, you are much ahead, but still the path is filled with drama.

In my case I fell in love with a woman who also loved me, and we began an amazing transformation into Self-Realization purely because of the intensity of our love for each other. Our love was of such an intensity we could not take our eyes off of the love within us, until we recognized the love was us. We were Love, and that love was us, our fundamental relational feeling.

Love is essential to preventing one from getting lost in the Void, and is essential if one is to have a self-realization experience as an identification with Turiya, the love/bliss body. Without love, you can miss Turiya altogether and just be “taken” by the witness.

Now those who are taken by the witness, and become identified with Parabrahamn, are many, and their path is not complete until they can identify with Turiya, with Shakti, and action in the world. Also, it is possible to be so taken with the love and joy of Turiya that the path is also not completed, because they never identify with the Witness, Parabrahman. You have to spend time identifying with both.

But in the end, I agree with Pradeep Apte, in the end there is no longer any felt separation between witness and the witnessed. They are one. The rift between I Am or personal sense of Self, and the impersonal Witness disappears.

There is an explosive recognition of the identity of the Witness beyond Consciousness, with the Satchitananda, of Turiya, of the I Am. This is what I call true Self-Realization because the personal sense of I Am, of love, bliss, and energy permanently pervades all my experience.

December 5, 2013

SPIRITUALITY AND AWAKENING IN A NUTSHELL-PART 4: SUMMARY

I wrote this four part essay for two reasons: to wrap my way of teaching into a succinct package, and to warn against the teachings of all the new popular teachers who talk about “No-Self” or “no-separate-self” wherein their universe becomes very impersonal, filled with impersonal beingness, the Absolute, Parabrahman, and their world is perfect, filled with bliss supposedly, and absolute rest and peace. (That is until you ask them for their day to day experience and they answer with total abstractions.)

This includes all of the neo-Advaitins from Tony Parsons to the huge class of pop teachers who talk of No-Self.

I think this class is just filled with people who have had a brief or extended experience of total, almost infinite emptiness, extending everywhere, inwards and outwards, and which so stunned them, that it completely changed their world-view about existence and spirituality. They then write about their experience, and lots of readers feel the writers’ integrity, and take on the writers’ truths as their own.

To me this entire branch of no-self spirituality arises from a very common and incomplete awakening experience during which one cannot find one’s sense of self while looking within, and declaring on the basis of that experience, that there is no self or Self. This is an extremely common experience. One “sees” there is only a vast emptiness everywhere with no core self to be found. I went through such an experience in 1995 where upon I too became a no-self exponent, and even later, had an experience that even Consciousness was unreal. I talk about these experiences and the conclusions I drew from them at: http://www.wearesentience.com/my-experiences.html. These experiences and conclusions were recognized by my teacher, Robert Adams as awakening, enlightenment at that time. For the next 15 years I dwelled in a state where I spent most of my time just going within to emptiness and just resting there. I had little to do with the world except as necessary for daily life.

But in 2009 something happened. I fell deeply in love with one of my female students, and she also did with me. It was a love of such vast depth and energies that I had never experienced before. We only met physically four times, and there never was any sexual contact, but we communicated and shared with each other our hearts’ mutual love.

All kinds of experiences then began for both of us: We became aware of our Subtle Bodies, one’s sense of presence that permeated the body and extended beyond it that was filled with knowingness of the physical and of the strange area of inwardly flowing energies that flowed in regular order, were colored, and awakened us both to new levels of existence, including eventually, the “real” Self. I had lost my false self of concepts in 1995, but in 2009 I found my real Self, a Self that was both the small me as a human, but also a Self, that was so big, so energetic, so subtle as to be no longer human. I felt I was being touched by God because of my love for my human Beloved. It felt as if God were blessing us because of our deep love for each other. Both of us had identical experiences of a vast energy arising from within, that arose from the gut area and associated with a blindingly bright white light that rose through the heart, into our heads and beyond. All we could do then was drop to our knees and worship the divine being revealed to us. We both felt so graced by the infinite, so loved, so thankful and grateful to be blessed by the divine, with grace descending and experienced as a golden light that brushed away all sins and impurities. I could go on and on about this new world of Grace, God, infinite power, flowing energies, ecstatic bliss, and a discovery within of our real Selves as creatures of light, love and incredible energy. In this discovery sequence, we both saw ourselves as totally vulnerable, imperfect humans, with all kinds of faults, rampant and sometimes out of control emotions, and a humility so profound that just the experience of that deepest humility was felt as divine Grace. Humility itself was Grace. Yet I at least, even while experiencing God and God’s grace as energy, light, a descent of purity, humility, etc., the recognition came that this God, this infinite power and light was also “Me.” God and I were one. Even while I felt myself as a human, an Ed Muzika totally feeling myself as I Am, as Self, I felt that my experience of God as “other” gradually change to God and I are one. The small light of myself, merged with the bright light and grace of God into a unity.

Thus I now teach to not lose the real Self, that which is always in union with God, because of experiences of a vast emptiness, a Void, or a belief that the is no Self. There is a Self and you are it, but it is not found through meditation, but through Love, Surrender, and remaining as a humble human.

This is why I preach that when you practice self-inquiry or self-abiding, that you do so with great love, acceptance of all that is uncovered, and when some new experience or sensation arises, to invite it gently into your heart to make it your own. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE! Feel love as often as you can, towards humans and animals, relatives

and enemies. Be open to love coming from outside because God is always ready to reward us with a vision of Him/Her when we are ready and open enough to experience God as us.

(from Edji’s Facebook page:)

Susan De Muynck endless gratitude Ed.:)> for sharing and LOVING.

Yesterday at 2:47pm · Like · 4

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Matthew Brown Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, beautiful.

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John LeKay "But in 2009 something happened. I fell deeply in love with one of my female students, and she also did with me." Ed-ji why do you think this happened?

Yesterday at 3:14pm · Like · 2

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Ed Muzika It was time. She was sent to me for us to love each other.

Yesterday at 3:17pm · Like · 3

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John LeKay Sent by whom, or what Ed-ji?

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Darshana Ji Beautiful Edji. Thank you I feel an energy of Love from deep within . Like being showered by Love, Grace. It is like an energy of love that totally love the person as it is with all its quirks....See More

Yesterday at 3:41pm via mobile · Like · 4

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Faisal Sarhi You talk like Sufi masters now .... you have come full circle ...

Yesterday at 3:55pm · Like · 4

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Ed Muzika So Faisal, are we friends again at last?

Yesterday at 3:57pm · Like · 1

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Faisal Sarhi You were always my friend and I have always kept a very close eye on your posts ... watching how you transformed from a cold stiff isolated being to an open flowing loving being is just amazing ... Shakti took good care of you ... awakened that self ab...See More

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Ed Muzika OK, Faisal, you understand deeply. Jai you know who that brought me this.

Yesterday at 4:11pm · Like · 1

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Faisal Sarhi Ed I would love if you brought this intimacy that you revel in and share it only with those who want to receive it ... I find many here from your FB friends are contaminating what you share and it causes the energy you share to be shattered and confusion seeps into many hearts'... Keep it intimate and contained please ...

Yesterday at 4:19pm · Like · 3

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Layena Camhi Beautiful sharing ........

23 hours ago · Edited · Like · 2

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Charles Crowley Thank you Edji

22 hours ago · Like · 2

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Justin Gabriel Thank you for sharing, grateful for the depth and beauty revealed here

22 hours ago via mobile · Like · 1

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Markus Raphael What Ed describes corresponds to what i experience. It is very valuable advice and many will profit greatly if they take it to heart. What makes me sometimes wonder is the fact that this is so at the core of the teachings of Jesus. His message was so simple that it summed up all the complicated laws into the 2 love commandments. It only seems that most minds are not in a childlike receptive state to fully grasp the beauty of this simplicity and thus need a long path of all kinds of often painful experiences.

22 hours ago · Like · 6

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Ed Muzika Very good take Marcus.

22 hours ago · Like · 3

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Dale Langley Ed, thank you, suddenly 'IT' is clear Now. I have my answer, confusion gone...Blessings

9 hours ago · Like · 2

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Newton Nitro Ed Muzika This is Soul awakening Ed, our true subjectivity, the divine experience. When the no-self crowd asks themselves incessantly "who am I", after all concepts go away, something answers, an answer that comes from the heart. And this true self - soul discovery unfolds infinitely, i feel as a loving membrane involvin emptiness and fullness in my day to day experience. The most astounding revelation is the feeling of shared experience, as one finds/feels one soul, it also feels it touching other souls. finding one's true subjectivity is to find out that we are not alone. this is the difference from the regular illusory subjectivity of the ego, or the illusion of non-subjectivity that comes from void experiences. true subjectivity is connection with other subjectivities, and even a conection to the beloved, the universal subjectivity/subjectivities. We are not alone, we were never alone, we will never be alone. Thank you for these texts Edji, this is as close as I can get from what I experience and from what I felt reading your thoughts.

6 hours ago · Edited · Like · 1