step 1 we admitted we were powerless over alcohol and...

Why “we”? –

Because this is what others have done to recover. “Here are the steps we took…”Big Book page 59

Dictionary definitions of the key words in Step 1:

Admit: To accept the truth, often begrudgingly – (This is the perfect word for Step 1). Powerless: Lacking the capacity to act, devoid of resources or strength. Unmanageable: Difficult or impossible to control.

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Addiction is a three-fold disease: physical, mental and spiritual.

Physical - Alcoholics and addicts have an allergy that causes their bodies to react differently

than a normal person. This allergy produces a craving for more that the addict has no control

over once the drugs or alcohol enters their system.

Mental – The addict also suffers from a mental obsession that drives them to drink or use

whether they want to or not.

Spiritual – The addict/alcoholic suffers from a spiritual malady - a diminished spiritual

condition that causes the mental obsession. Once their spiritual condition improves, the

mental obsession goes away, and they can stay sober.

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Step 1 has two separate and important parts: Part 1 - Powerlessness over drugs and alcohol Part 2 - The unmanageability of our lives in active addiction

Step 1 – We admitted we were powerless over

alcohol and drugs, that our lives had become

unmanageable.

Suggested Reading Assignment:

• Alcoholics Anonymous (The Big Book) - The Doctor’s Opinion (6 pages), Chapter 1 (Bill’s Story)

• Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions - Step 1

Part 1 – Powerlessness and the Physical Allergy

The physical allergy produces a phenomenon of craving in the addict/alcoholic that never appears

in the normal drinker/user. Some are born with the allergy and some develop it through constant

use. How you got it is irrelevant. What does your drinking and using history show? Have you

experienced the phenomenon of craving?

What it looks like:

Once I start drinking or using, I trigger the allergy which makes me want more. The more I drink and use,

the more I want to drink and use.

Powerlessness doesn’t mean I can’t ever control how much I drink or use.

It means I can’t ALWAYS control it. I ask myself, “Why can’t I control my use all the time?” When a better question might be, “Why do

I keep trying in the face of so much experience that I can’t?”

Exercise: Examine your drinking and using history – Can you find examples of the phenomenon of

craving and powerlessness to control your use? Can you ALWAYS control how much you drink and

use?

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Part 2 – Unmanageability and the Mental Obsession

The second half of Step 1 says “that our lives had become unmanageable.” Upon first reading, many

people look at the chaos of their life in active addiction and confuse it for unmanageability. But the

unmanageability the first step refers to is directly related to the mental aspect of addiction - the

mental obsession that makes it impossible for an addict or alcoholic to stop drinking or using even

if they want to.

If we only had a physical allergy to alcohol and drugs, we could simply stop using and the problem

would go away. However, one of the defining characteristics of an addict/alcoholic is that they

cannot stay stopped, no matter how much they want to. This inability to stay stopped is driven by

the mental obsession.

Big Book, page 30

“The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great

obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many

pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.”

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Unmanageability in Step 1 is directly related to the mental obsession.

The unmanageability arises when the alcoholic/addict makes a decision to stop drinking and using,

but then they are completely unable to manage that decision. No action they try to take works in

the face of their desire to drink and use. No matter how they try, they cannot stay stopped.

The process: mental obsession ---> "just one drink" --->

compulsion/allergy

Only by treating the spiritual malady can the cycle be broken.

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We experience the Mental Obsession when we are trying to stay sober and are overwhelmed by

thoughts of using. The Mental Obsession can take a variety of forms.

An intrusive obsession is a thought of using that seems to come from out of nowhere. When

hit by an intrusive obsession, we become overwhelmed with the desire to use and will

abandon our plans and responsibilities in pursuit of satisfying the obsession.

A reoccurring obsession is a thought of using that keeps occurring over and over all day. No

matter what we do we can’t make it stay away. Fighting with this type of obsession takes all

our energy and the obsessive thought keeps coming back, growing stronger as the day goes

on. The recurring obsession beats us down until we give up and use.

We can experience a circumstantial obsession when we are presented with the opportunity

to use and cannot think our way out of it. We may present ourselves with some sort of

explanation or we may not think at all. These circumstantial obsessions can blindside us in

early sobriety if we are not careful where we go and who we spend time with.

The final kind of obsession is called the fundamental obsession. It is usually hard for us to

identify the fundamental obsession at first—we are so familiar with it that it is hard to see.

Life is unsatisfying. We are constantly agitated and restless. No matter what we try, we do

not seem to be able to get any peace of mind. We are constantly trying to adjust the

circumstances of our lives in an attempt to find some comfort and, at a fundamental level,

we believe that alcohol or drugs are the solution for this condition.

Exercises:

• Examine your drinking and using history – Can you find examples of the mental obsession?

Have you ever convinced yourself it was going to be different this time?

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• If you are a Heroin/Opiate/Cocaine/Meth addict – What does your drinking and using

history show about alcohol? Marijuana? Do you believe that you and safely use pot or beer

and not end up back on your drug of choice? What does your history show?

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• Step 1 is an examination of the problem

- Do I believe that my drinking and using history shows that I have the allergy?

- Can I find examples of the phenomenon of craving?

- Can I find examples of a lack of ability to control how much I drink or use

(powerlessness)?

- Does my drinking/using history show an inability to stay sober even when I really

want/need to?

- When I try to stop drinking and using, does my internal condition get better or worse?

- Does life get easier or harder to live the longer I am substance-free?

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If I believe that I am an addict or alcoholic, there are only two possible outcomes to

that truth:

1. Drink and use, whether I want to or not until I die at some point in the future, doing the best

I can to blot out the misery and discomfort of my addiction.

2. Actively engage in a program of recovery.

There is no third choice.

step 1 we admitted we were powerless over alcohol and...

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