Step I – Game Recognition

All of life is a GamePlayed inside of Frames

Within Frames of Frames.

Page 15

Games ― Action Sets

External Games Behaviors, Actions, Relationships, etc. Cultural Roles, rituals, ceremonies, etc.

Internal Games Mental Behavior, thinking, valuing, etc. Emotional Behavior, feelings, emotions,

valuing, appreciating, etc.Page 15

We cannot not play “Games.” Every state, behavior, skill, etc.

plays out some game. And, since we are always in some

state, we are always playing some game.

What Frame Games are you playing now?

What Frame Games do you want to play. Page 15

Frames ― The ideas, concepts, beliefs, understanding,

decisions, models, paradigms, assumptions, terms, etc. that set up the Games, the Rules of the Games, Payoffs, cues, etc.

Every mental structure involving words, symbols, conceptual models, etc. establishes a frame as in “frame of reference.”

This leads to various “Frames of Mind.”Page 15

We always play “Frame Games.”

We play both good games and bad games.

Why? Because we are born with a brain

that creates mental frames. Don’t forget― that are constructed

and can be re-constructed. Page 15 - 16

Game Detection

The Name of the Game is to Name the Game.

First we detect the Frame Games that we are and have been playing.

Only when we know what we are up against, can we intelligently transform it. Page 17

Game Detection ―

What Games have you played today around food, eating, exercising, etc.?

Have you enjoyed those Games? Have those Games served you well? Have they enhanced your life? Have they empowered you as a

person?Page 17

With what do you play Fear and Panic Games?

Public Speaking Authority Figures Confronting a

friend Criticism by a

colleague Learning

something new. Entering

Relationships

Dogs Cats Heights Water Elevators Mathematics Dating Stuttering

Page 17

Detection Game Exercise

1. Identify the specific behaviors within it.

2. Gauge the intensity of the pattern.3. Why is it negative?4. What is the positive payoff of it?5. How do you perceive that payoff as

positive?6. What pattern/s would you prefer to

use.Page 19

Figure 1:1 The Detection Game

Game Description & Payoffs

Rules of the Game

Intentions — Desired Outcomes

Person Person

Game Cues

Page 20

Detection Game Summarized

The Name and Description of the Game.

The Rules of the Game: How is it set up? Who plays the game? When?

The Cues of the Game: What triggers the Game? How do you know when to _______?

The Payoff of the Game? Benefits?Page 20

The Neuro-Semantics of Fear The meaning making venture─

We make meaning every day. Meaning cannot exist in the world without a

meaning-maker. To have meaning, there must be a

meaning maker. To transform our “fears,” we have to

transform the meaning we give those referent experiences.

Page 21

The First Way to Make Meaning─

1. By connecting or linking things together.

What have you linked to fear? What does fear, anxiety, being

uptight, etc. mean to you? What comes to mind when you think

about these meanings?

Page 21

The Second Way to Make Meaning─

2. By creating mental frames or contexts.(By making our ideas a frame-of-reference and then a frame of mind- See Figure 1:2.)

First there is a referent experience. Then we represent it… link it with thought

or feeling. Then we repeat the representation until it

becomes our Frame of Reference. Then our frame becomes our Frame of

Mind.Page 21

Figure 1:2

“The Matrix of Frames”Within which we “live andmove and have our being”It becomes our internal worldor universe. It makes up thehigher frames that make upour “mind” and that sets upthe Games that we play.

Person -Referent Experience

InternalRepresentation

Frames of Refrerence

Frames of Mind

Frameworks

Page 22

As goes your Frames―So goes your Games.

Our Frames operate as self-organizing attractors that create our sense of reality.

They send commands to the nervous system.

That’s why you feel “bad” out of a fear frame.

Yet they are only as valid, useful, etc. as they provide a good map for navigating our territory.

Page 23

New Games Require New Frames

Need a new game? Get a new frame.

Want to change an old game? Step aside and quality control it.

What frame of mind do you need about threats and supposed dangers in order to move forward with courage, faith, optimism, etc.?Page 23

Neuro-Semantics of Danger―

Physical dangers Emotional dangers Spiritual dangers Mental dangers Interpersonal dangers

Painful experiences teaches usTo be careful, to be alert.

Page 23

The Games of Fear―

1. The home movie horror show2. The Stephen King horror show3. “Watch Out” disasters are

ahead!”4. Imagining “Worst Case Scenario”5. The meta-fear game – fear your

fear Page 24

Stop the Deception Game The Old Game – Think of “Fears”

as if it is Real. Talk as if it is a Thing or Entity.

The New Game – Think and speak about fear as a way of thinking, feeling and acting. As a verb, “fear” does not refer to a

thing. Do not nominalize it – freeze the verb.

Page 25

Deadly Danger of the DSMIV

DSM IV, Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for mental, emotional and personality disorders.

It is the Bible for the American Psychiatric Association and quoted by psychologists and therapist.

It is the “label” book- uggghhhh!!!

Page 25

William Glasser, MD

Reality Therapy He would not allow his patients to

use any psychiatric term as a noun. Depressing Panicking Fearing Anxietying Page 25

Secrets of Facing Fear

There is a Pattern― It’s just Fear.

It’s just the old Fight/Flight Response. It’s just an Emotion.

It may be accurate; it may not. It may be useful; it may not. As an emotion welcome it and explore

it but it isn’t the final truth.Page 26

How to Play the Frame Games

A “game” refers to a set of actions and inter-actions that allow you to structure your energies to attain desired outcome.

The Game Rules set up the structure, form and nature of the game: when, who with, why and how to score.

Game Frames – The games that we play arise from our frames of mind.

We learn games best by trying them on and giving ourselves a chance to learn the ropes.

Page 27

How to Play Frame Games

1. Get an initial impression about the game.2. Begin playing and experimenting.3. Begin filling in some of the details.4. Continually renew your focus and

awareness on the objective of the game.5. Have fun as you play.6. Keep aiming for mastery.

Page 27-29

Worksheet #1 Toxic Game

1. Game description2. Game players3. Game value4. Game triggers5. Game cues & clues6. The rules of the game7. Name the game.8. The preferred game

Page 30

Worksheet #2 New Game

1. Desired game2. Game players3. Current frame games4. Game evidence5. Game motivations & payoff6. Game description7. Game initiation

Page 31

Frame Game Questions

Who are the players of the game? How healthy, productive, useful, etc.? What are the hooks that pull you in? What are some of the game cues? What are the rules of the game? What would you like to call this

game? What’s the agenda in the game?

Page 32-33

Frame Game Questions

What’s the emotional intensity of the game?

What are the leverage points in the game?

What new Frame Game would you prefer to play?

Page 33

Personalized Game Plan

1. No longer tolerated games…2. New games I will play from now

on…3. What Frames of Mind will support

my new plan?4. What resources will I need?5. Who will I give permission to hold

me accountable?Page 34-35