STICKS AND STONESSTICKS AND STONESA COMPREHENSIVE MODEL A COMPREHENSIVE MODEL

FOR BULLY PREVENTIONFOR BULLY PREVENTION

Presented by Cheryl Curry Presented by Cheryl Curry Dean of StudentsDean of Students

Geneva High School, Geneva, IllinoisGeneva High School, Geneva, Illinois

(630) 463-3822(630) 463-3822

WHAT IS BULLYING?WHAT IS BULLYING?

A PERSON IS BEING BULLIED OR VICTIMIZED WHEN HE OR SHE IS EXPOSED, REPEATEDLY AND OVER TIME, TO NEGATIVE ACTIONS ON THE PART OF ONE OR MORE PERSONS.

DISTINGUISHING CHARACTERISTICS DISTINGUISHING CHARACTERISTICS OF BULLYING BEHAVIOROF BULLYING BEHAVIOR

IT IS A CHRONIC AND ONGOING PATTERN OF ABUSE

IT CAN BE ONE-ON-ONE OR CARRIED OUT BY A GROUP (MOBBING)

BULLYING IS ALWAYS DIRECTED BY A STRONGER STUDENT AGAINST A WEAKER ONE

IT CAN BE OVERT OR COVERT

HOW PREVALENT IS HOW PREVALENT IS BULLYING?BULLYING?

FROM RURAL MIDWESTERN RETROSPECTIVE STUDIES OF GRADES 4 THROUGH 8, 90% OF STUDENTS REPORT BEING BULLIED AT SOME TIME DURING THEIR SCHOOL YEARS.

THE HIGHEST RATES AND MOST SEVERE TRAUMA WERE REPORTED IN GRADES FIVE THROUGH EIGHT.

HIGHEST RANKED REASONS FOR HIGHEST RANKED REASONS FOR BEING BULLIEDBEING BULLIED

MALES

1. Didn’t fit in2. Who friends were3. Physical weakness4. Short tempered5. Clothing

FEMALES

1. Didn’t fit in2. Who friends were3. Clothing4. Facial appearance5. Overweight

HOW IS BULLYING HOW IS BULLYING DIFFERENT FROM OTHER DIFFERENT FROM OTHER FORMS OF AGGRESSION?FORMS OF AGGRESSION?

The behavior of bullies is seldom severe enough to lead automatically to peer rejection or academic failure. In fact, bullies may be as “popular” as so-called “well-adjusted” students

The self-esteem of bullies tends to fall within the normal range

DIFFERENCES CONTINUED…DIFFERENCES CONTINUED…

Bullying shares group management features with such inter-group pressures as sexism and racism

It is socially acceptable to single out a member of their own racial, gender, or ethnic group who is too different

Dehumanizing rituals and renaming rites are observed

PASSIVE VICTIMSPASSIVE VICTIMS

The most common type of victim

Lack social skills & cry easily

Unable to use humor to defuse conflict

Lonely, depressed, anxious, & insecure

Yield easily to bullying-cannot defend self

PROVACATIVE VICTIMSPROVACATIVE VICTIMS

A much smaller group; often difficult to recognize as victims

Restless children who irritate and tease others and don’t know when to stop

Fight back in bullying situations but end up losing (ineffectual aggressors)

Easily emotionally aroused

PROVACATIVE VICTIMS PROVACATIVE VICTIMS (continued)(continued)

Tend to maintain the conflict and lose with frustration and distress

May be diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)

Tend to make you feel like they deserve it

PUBLIC ATTITUDES THAT PUBLIC ATTITUDES THAT SUPPORT BULLYINGSUPPORT BULLYING

“IT’S THE VICTIM’S FAULT”

•60% of older students agreed that victims brought it on themselves.

•Among victims, 17% of male and 6% of female victims blamed themselves.

•Some think victims are staging a psychological ploy to justify their oppression.

““BULLYING TEACHES KIDS BULLYING TEACHES KIDS TO BE TOUGH”TO BE TOUGH”

It can be helpful.

It’s used to justify lessons in competitiveness.

Roughly 60% of the combined samples agreed.

““BULLYING IS A GOOD BULLYING IS A GOOD LESSON FOR KIDS”LESSON FOR KIDS”

It teaches kids about behavior unacceptable to the group

Nearly one half of the male students surveyed agreed

Nearly one third of the female students agreed

““IF YOU HELP A VICTIM, IF YOU HELP A VICTIM, YOU’LL BE UNPOPULAR”YOU’LL BE UNPOPULAR”

You’ll lose your social standing if you come to the aid of a child scapegoat.

In some schools, 65% of students agreed. 50% agreed overall.

Bullies are more well-liked and have higher social standings than the ones they harass.

““IT’S ONLY DONE IN FUN”IT’S ONLY DONE IN FUN” The “boys will be

boys” and “girls will be girls” attitude.

It’s just the growing-up process —everybody goes through it.

Nearly two-thirds of the surveyed sample supported this statement.

BULLYING IS SERIOUSBULLYING IS SERIOUS

Children being bullied need and deserve adult intervention and help

The problem is too serious for them to solve alone

Without intervention, the problem will not go away

Bullies will keep bullying unless adults & peers do something about it

SO WHAT CAN WE DO?SO WHAT CAN WE DO?

CHANGE THE CULTURE

THREE CRITICAL PIECESTHREE CRITICAL PIECES

SOME IDEASSOME IDEAS

EMPATHY TRAINING CLASSROOM & SMALL GROUP

CURRICULUM DRAMA SKITS (e.g. “Bullybusters”) PARENT & FACULTY WORKSHOPS A WAY TO DOCUMENT INCIDENTS IMMEDIATE INTERVENTIONS ANTI-BULLYING PLEDGES VISUAL REMINDERS EVERYWHERE

SOME IDEAS FOR SOME IDEAS FOR PARENTSPARENTS

Validate your child’s need to belong.Help your child develop an overview and an

objective view of cliques.Give your child standards to use in judging

her/himself and others.Suggest ways to build self-esteem and good

character by connecting with others.Evaluate your home situation objectively.

PARENT IDEAS CONT.PARENT IDEAS CONT.

Listen without being judgmental.Listen when they talk about their friends.Talk to your child’s teachers.Monitor the media diet. Teach tolerance.Avoid choosing your child’s friends, but

monitor. Assess social skills--help them “conform”.Watch for sudden signs of affluence.

PARENT IDEAS CONT.PARENT IDEAS CONT.

Talk with your child about bullying & your values. Use open-ended questions that go beyond just a “yes” or “no” answer.

Network with parents. Alert the school. Avoid overprotection.

Tell some of your own stories. Role play “the dance” with your child. Help your child find one supportive ally. Movies and books. Help your kids define bullying behavior.

VICTIMSVICTIMSSIGNS TO LOOK FOR SIGNS TO LOOK FOR

Symptoms of stress: nail biting, bedwetting, trouble sleeping, nightmares, stuttering. Extreme emotions like sadness or anger.

School avoidance--claiming stomachaches, headaches, exhaustion.

Academic downhill slide.Severe drop in socializing.Sudden changes in routine that are unusual.

VICTIMS CONT.VICTIMS CONT.

Things mysteriously disappear and your child does not know why.

Your child has bruises he/she makes light of.Preoccupation with appearance.Child talks about needing some form of

protection.Child talks about moving, running away, or

changing schools.

GENEVA HIGH SCHOOL GENEVA HIGH SCHOOL SAFE SCHOOLS PLEDGESAFE SCHOOLS PLEDGETO MAKE THE SCHOOL ENVIRONMENT SAFE FOR CHILDREN PHYSICALLY AND PSYCHOLOGICALLY BY:

1. Stopping the bullying behavior. There will be “no-bullying” rules enforced by school staff members.

2. Students helping others by speaking out when someone is bullied and getting adult help.

3. Students treating one another with respect and using extra effort to include everyone.