Stony Point Cooperators Stony Point Cooperators

TheThePreventive SystemPreventive System

In The Tradition ofIn The Tradition ofSt Don BoscoSt Don Bosco

Salesian Spirituality is a Salesian Spirituality is a Spirituality of:Spirituality of:

• Finding God Finding God • Being happiest, holiest and healthiest Being happiest, holiest and healthiest • Growing closer to God Growing closer to God

InIn and and throughthrough and and withwith the young. the young.

Note this: If you do not want to work Note this: If you do not want to work with the young – don’t be a youth with the young – don’t be a youth ministerminister

1. The Importance of a Healthy 1. The Importance of a Healthy and Holy Environmentand Holy Environment• St. John Bosco’s educational philosophy was centered on St. John Bosco’s educational philosophy was centered on

environment.environment.

• Don Bosco believed that ‘good Christians and good citizens’ Don Bosco believed that ‘good Christians and good citizens’ would be formed when “wise educators” made sure that a would be formed when “wise educators” made sure that a healthy, happy and holy environment surrounded the young.healthy, happy and holy environment surrounded the young.

• Evil would be crowded out—it wouldn’t have a chance!Evil would be crowded out—it wouldn’t have a chance!

• Don Bosco created a home for a boy that was characterized by: Don Bosco created a home for a boy that was characterized by: reason, religion and kindnessreason, religion and kindness. .

• Unlike many religious educators of his time-- he practiced a Unlike many religious educators of his time-- he practiced a philosophy now labeled philosophy now labeled “The preventive System”“The preventive System” in which in which he promoted faith and fun in a free environment where he promoted faith and fun in a free environment where kindness was the characteristic quality of the educator. kindness was the characteristic quality of the educator.

CREATING THE ENVIRONMENT!CREATING THE ENVIRONMENT!

• THE ROLE OF THE EDUCATOR — CREATING THE ROLE OF THE EDUCATOR — CREATING THE ENVIRONMENT!THE ENVIRONMENT!

• CLIMATE CONTROLCLIMATE CONTROL- IS OUR CONCERN. - IS OUR CONCERN.

– Be thermostats-Not Thermometers. Be thermostats-Not Thermometers.

– We place our We place our energyenergy in creating an environment in creating an environment where kids do the right thing because it’s where kids do the right thing because it’s automatically expected.automatically expected.

2. The Characteristic Traits 2. The Characteristic Traits of this Environment-of this Environment-

• Joy and OptimismJoy and Optimism

• Care and concernCare and concern

• Games, sports, music, dramaGames, sports, music, drama

• Religion everywhere but very natural—not a big Religion everywhere but very natural—not a big split with lifesplit with life

• RELATIONSHIPS- Youth know that adults really RELATIONSHIPS- Youth know that adults really care. care.

……The Characteristic Traits The Characteristic Traits of this Environment-of this Environment-• Peer Ministry—older take responsibility Peer Ministry—older take responsibility

for the environment too! for the environment too! • Education—for life!Education—for life! • Sacraments-Confession and EucharistSacraments-Confession and Eucharist• Mary-our helperMary-our helper• Do your duties—do the right thing at Do your duties—do the right thing at

right timeright time• A busy schedule----structureA busy schedule----structure

3. Style used while being with 3. Style used while being with the Young: Assistance - Not the Young: Assistance - Not SupervisionSupervision

• Salesian youth ministers consider themselves Salesian youth ministers consider themselves “assistants” rather than “superiors” of the young, “assistants” rather than “superiors” of the young,

• What do you hear in the difference of the 2 What do you hear in the difference of the 2 words? words? Assistance and SupervisionAssistance and Supervision

• By “good assistance” we will make discipline easy By “good assistance” we will make discipline easy and won’t need to do a lot of supervising. and won’t need to do a lot of supervising.

Be thereBe there! ! Be awareBe aware. . Care.Care.

To Be VigilantTo Be Vigilant Staying Present—Staying Zealous! Staying Present—Staying Zealous!

The educator knows that if he let’s his The educator knows that if he let’s his guard down with assistance…… guard down with assistance…… that’s that’s precisely when something is going to happen.precisely when something is going to happen.

We are NOT LAZY—we can’t afford to be We are NOT LAZY—we can’t afford to be “lumps” The whole system breaks down if we “lumps” The whole system breaks down if we are soft on assistance! are soft on assistance!

AGAIN, WHY ASSISTANCEAGAIN, WHY ASSISTANCE AND AND NOTNOT SUPERVISIONSUPERVISION??

– The term The term assistance assistance implies that the educator is also on the implies that the educator is also on the journey toward holiness and -He or she is accompanying the journey toward holiness and -He or she is accompanying the young in life’s journey. young in life’s journey.

– The emphasis in this philosophy of religious education is on The emphasis in this philosophy of religious education is on relationship rather than role. A friendship and a relationship of relationship rather than role. A friendship and a relationship of trust-even trust-even affectivityaffectivity is formed. (pause to interpret what these is formed. (pause to interpret what these means)means)

– Kindness is paramount. Kindness is paramount.

– Modeling good behavior, modeling what it means to be a good Modeling good behavior, modeling what it means to be a good human being - has a lasting effect on those being formed.human being - has a lasting effect on those being formed.

In SummaryIn Summary• ““Assistants” rather than “Superiors” of the youngAssistants” rather than “Superiors” of the young

• The term The term assistance assistance implies that the educator is also on the implies that the educator is also on the journey toward holiness. journey toward holiness.

• The emphasis in this philosophy is on relationship rather than The emphasis in this philosophy is on relationship rather than role. role.

• A friendship of trust-even affectivity is formed. Kindness is A friendship of trust-even affectivity is formed. Kindness is paramount. paramount.

• Modeling good behavior and sharing the trials of daily life Modeling good behavior and sharing the trials of daily life with the young has a lasting effect on those being formed. with the young has a lasting effect on those being formed.

4. 4. PresencePresence is is demanding:demanding:

• Being there Being there is the key to a holy, is the key to a holy, healthy, and happy environment!healthy, and happy environment!

• Don Bosco’s Dream of 1884Don Bosco’s Dream of 1884: At the : At the end of his life Bosco had a dream end of his life Bosco had a dream about the importance of Presence about the importance of Presence and Assistance/accompaniment and Assistance/accompaniment rather than supervision and distance.rather than supervision and distance.

… … PresencePresence is is demanding:demanding:A. A. Part I of Dream: FlashbackPart I of Dream: Flashback- - DB’S oratory earlyDB’S oratory early

• - Recreation time = liveliness, - Recreation time = liveliness, good presencegood presence

• -real assistance was going on! -real assistance was going on!

• “ “Closeness leads to affection and affection brings confidence.Closeness leads to affection and affection brings confidence.""

• DB sees: no fear, total openness, real honestyDB sees: no fear, total openness, real honesty

• "Boys will do everything they are asked of by someone who "Boys will do everything they are asked of by someone who they know loves them." they know loves them."

B. Part II of Dream: A look at his present B. Part II of Dream: A look at his present oratory:oratory:

• Don Bosco sees at the recreation time (the Don Bosco sees at the recreation time (the playground) : that there is no liveliness, playground) : that there is no liveliness, boredom, (bad, bad assistance),boredom, (bad, bad assistance),

• Students reactions: suspicion of teachers, Students reactions: suspicion of teachers, kids off on their own--in the corners--kids off on their own--in the corners--conversing inappropriately, actually an us vs. conversing inappropriately, actually an us vs. them mentality between students and staff. them mentality between students and staff.

• Do a few places you’ve worked at come Do a few places you’ve worked at come to mind? to mind?

Conclusions from The Conclusions from The DreamDream• The Point Don Bosco makes in the Dream isThe Point Don Bosco makes in the Dream is

– apathy of the STAFF is where all APATHY progressed apathy of the STAFF is where all APATHY progressed from. It led to….from. It led to….

– apathy in recreation ………. leads to.....................apathy in recreation ………. leads to.....................

– apathy toward their teacher and superiors …….leads to............apathy toward their teacher and superiors …….leads to............

– apathy toward religion…….. leads apathy toward religion…….. leads to.......................to.......................

– apathy toward prayers and sacraments……. leads to.................apathy toward prayers and sacraments……. leads to.................

– apathy toward holinessapathy toward holiness

PRESENCEPRESENCE• How can we lead kids to God? How can we lead kids to God?

– PRESENCE-PRESENCE- AND A PRESENCE THAT SHOWS LOVING KINDNESS! AND A PRESENCE THAT SHOWS LOVING KINDNESS!

– YM’s: Can you say— that being with the young is my YM’s: Can you say— that being with the young is my biggest-main concern?biggest-main concern?

– You must say this for their sake because a loving-You must say this for their sake because a loving-presence lets the young “KNOW” that they are loved. presence lets the young “KNOW” that they are loved.

– There is a difference between being faithful to your There is a difference between being faithful to your duties and being “present” when you’re supposed to duties and being “present” when you’re supposed to be around be around andand really being “present” –fully engaged really being “present” –fully engaged and letting the young know that you love them! and letting the young know that you love them!

not enough to say Love…not enough to say Love…• NOT ENOUGH-- not enough to love, they must know that they are loved NOT ENOUGH-- not enough to love, they must know that they are loved

- - • Familiarity---Rapport:Familiarity---Rapport:

• IMPORTANCE OF FRIENDSHIP ON EVANGELIZATION: *youth ministers have to IMPORTANCE OF FRIENDSHIP ON EVANGELIZATION: *youth ministers have to have have a real interest in the lives of the kida real interest in the lives of the kids --not a cursory interest--even s --not a cursory interest--even when this is hard. Then and only then will when this is hard. Then and only then will they likethey like the things of faiththe things of faith and the and the things of Christian mature living that we are challenging them toward! things of Christian mature living that we are challenging them toward!

• What's really missing in Education is…. Humble, crazy, self-assured, creative What's really missing in Education is…. Humble, crazy, self-assured, creative educators---who aren’t AFRAID OF KIDS. educators---who aren’t AFRAID OF KIDS.

• *the mixing!!!*the mixing!!! Being arrogant enough at times to be the heart and soul Being arrogant enough at times to be the heart and soul of the recreationof the recreation

• Don’t say : “I'm older- I’ve taken on more responsibilities. My duties now force Don’t say : “I'm older- I’ve taken on more responsibilities. My duties now force me to handle only the “things” that the youth need. Right now I have to face the me to handle only the “things” that the youth need. Right now I have to face the facts - I'm caught up in administration”facts - I'm caught up in administration”

FamiliarityFamiliarity• No matter what age you areNo matter what age you are------

• *start with *start with familiarityfamiliarity

• * gain rapport* gain rapport

• *let them know that you are there for them*let them know that you are there for them

• **and it will breed a friendship AND ‘affectionand it will breed a friendship AND ‘affection’’

• AFTER THAT THE REST IS HISTORY! AFTER THAT THE REST IS HISTORY!

• Be Humble enough to befriend kids: This method of education has been Be Humble enough to befriend kids: This method of education has been tried and proves true from Salesian experience. It calls for humility tried and proves true from Salesian experience. It calls for humility

6. Correcting the Young: 6. Correcting the Young:

A presence that is A presence that is corrective not repressivecorrective not repressive

– In the process of correcting inappropriate behaviors, the educator must In the process of correcting inappropriate behaviors, the educator must make sure that the youth is aware that he/she is still loved for who he/she make sure that the youth is aware that he/she is still loved for who he/she is, even though the behavior exhibited is unacceptable. is, even though the behavior exhibited is unacceptable.

– No matter how disturbing the behavior is and how disruptive it is to the No matter how disturbing the behavior is and how disruptive it is to the overall learning environment, the educator must correct the child by overall learning environment, the educator must correct the child by stressing that the behavior was bad—not that the kid is bad. stressing that the behavior was bad—not that the kid is bad.

Salesian DisciplineSalesian Discipline

• In correcting, the emphasis should always be In correcting, the emphasis should always be on learning, not revenge. on learning, not revenge. – This is not easy when a teacher’s entire lesson plan This is not easy when a teacher’s entire lesson plan

is shot because of a child’s disruption. is shot because of a child’s disruption. – The tendency is to want to put an immediate stop The tendency is to want to put an immediate stop

to it and the quickest tool is to use humiliation. to it and the quickest tool is to use humiliation. Humiliation will just reinforce the survival game Humiliation will just reinforce the survival game being used and the educator will lose any credibility being used and the educator will lose any credibility with the child. The teachings of the faith that we with the child. The teachings of the faith that we hope to share with the young will have absolutely hope to share with the young will have absolutely no merit since we will have no merit in their eyes.no merit since we will have no merit in their eyes.

… …Salesian DisciplineSalesian Discipline : :Here are Here are some tips on giving corrections that may help a some tips on giving corrections that may help a religious educator:religious educator: A.A. Choose a favorable time to reprimand Choose a favorable time to reprimand - - Don’t act out Don’t act out

of anger- of anger- Wait until you are in control of yourselfWait until you are in control of yourself

– Youngsters can tell whether it is “zeal” or “anger” that is Youngsters can tell whether it is “zeal” or “anger” that is getting us fired up.getting us fired up.

– St. Francis de SalesSt. Francis de Sales- reminds us - reminds us “not to drown in an attempt “not to drown in an attempt to save others”to save others” – (correcting harshly without analyzing the – (correcting harshly without analyzing the situation, Forgetting to ask yourself: What’s really called for situation, Forgetting to ask yourself: What’s really called for here?, Not waiting out the appropriate “cool down” period)here?, Not waiting out the appropriate “cool down” period)

– The misbehaved and wayward child may be dead wrong, The misbehaved and wayward child may be dead wrong, immoral and even outright mean but we will have a double immoral and even outright mean but we will have a double tragedy if we act similarly in attempting to correct him.tragedy if we act similarly in attempting to correct him.

Salesian Discipline cont…Salesian Discipline cont…B. Never punish a boy/girl B. Never punish a boy/girl harshlyharshly at the at the

moment of his fault—***** moment of his fault—***** Do it gently at Do it gently at the moment of his infraction/misbehaviorthe moment of his infraction/misbehavior, ,

• Then later on you should take him aside Then later on you should take him aside and talk about what happened. and talk about what happened.

• Bring him/her to good self-reflection and Bring him/her to good self-reflection and then tell him what the consequences of then tell him what the consequences of his behavior will result in. his behavior will result in.

……Salesian DisciplineSalesian Discipline

C. C. Punishments should always be Punishments should always be proportionate to the disorderproportionate to the disorder – –reason dictates that we need to be reason dictates that we need to be reasonable in correctingreasonable in correcting

… … Salesian DisciplineSalesian Discipline

D. Love them but don’t reward the D. Love them but don’t reward the misbehavedmisbehaved. . – Deny special privileges -- especially Deny special privileges -- especially

outings that are optional outings that are optional – and simply hold back (very gently) some and simply hold back (very gently) some

regular gestures of affection (e.g.-a regular gestures of affection (e.g.-a smile). Don’t over-exaggerate this! smile). Don’t over-exaggerate this!

The Preventive System CAN The Preventive System CAN BE SUMMARIZED IN 3 BE SUMMARIZED IN 3 WORDS: WORDS:

REASON REASON RELIGION RELIGION ANDAND KINDNESS KINDNESS

ReasonReason• The word preventive-- comes from The word preventive-- comes from praevenirepraevenire

which means to "foresee" and "provide". --the which means to "foresee" and "provide". --the aim is to look ahead…….aim is to look ahead…….preventivepreventive

• It is reasonable that the educator is looking It is reasonable that the educator is looking aheadahead– At the overall planAt the overall plan– At the overall philosophyAt the overall philosophy– At the real needs of the youngAt the real needs of the young– At the larger picture in the ministryAt the larger picture in the ministry– At his/her own strengths and limitationsAt his/her own strengths and limitations

Reason cont…Reason cont…• To encourage, counsel, and assist in To encourage, counsel, and assist in

personal growth and maturity personal growth and maturity with with full insight into the present level of full insight into the present level of maturity/faith of the youngmaturity/faith of the young and and where they are heading toward… where they are heading toward…

– reasonableness begins with good reflectionreasonableness begins with good reflection– self first and then situation of young self first and then situation of young

Reason cont…Reason cont…• Reasonableness calls for Reasonableness calls for consistency and clarityconsistency and clarity

– Especially with the young who are often Especially with the young who are often thoughtless."thoughtless."

– On the part of the educator to always think and On the part of the educator to always think and consider the situation of the young that he is called to consider the situation of the young that he is called to serve. serve.

• Walk the WalkWalk the Walk! Reason dictates that the ! Reason dictates that the educator would never ask a young person to do educator would never ask a young person to do anything he or she would not be willing to do anything he or she would not be willing to do herself. herself.

B. ReligionB. Religion• Holiness is not a spiritual veneerHoliness is not a spiritual veneer

– RELIGION AND LIFE GO TOGETHERRELIGION AND LIFE GO TOGETHER –THERE IS NO –THERE IS NO DICOTOMY---DICOTOMY---FAITH AND LIFE FLOWFAITH AND LIFE FLOW—WE DON’T HAVE —WE DON’T HAVE ANY RADICAL/ DRASTIC MOVES FROM ONE TO THE OTHER. ANY RADICAL/ DRASTIC MOVES FROM ONE TO THE OTHER.

• Faith is fun alsoFaith is fun also—it’s not boring—it’s not boring• Faith is practicalFaith is practical——

– Confession =forgivenessConfession =forgiveness– Mary =HelpMary =Help– Eucharist= soul foodEucharist= soul food

• Salesian Methodology–RELIGION IS Salesian Methodology–RELIGION IS EVERYWHERE—EVERYWHERE—

• It PERVADES THE ENVIORNMENTIt PERVADES THE ENVIORNMENT

A Plan for Salesian HolinessA Plan for Salesian Holiness The following spiritual growth plan for youth and adolescents might The following spiritual growth plan for youth and adolescents might be helpful for you as a Salesian educator: Remind youth of the be helpful for you as a Salesian educator: Remind youth of the following:following:

• 1. “I will be cheerful” -Remain joyful and optimistic. Don’t get down.1. “I will be cheerful” -Remain joyful and optimistic. Don’t get down.

• 2. “I will do my duties well.” Do the ordinary things in an extra-2. “I will do my duties well.” Do the ordinary things in an extra-ordinary way.ordinary way.

• 3. Jesus is my friend. – I will stay close to him particularly in the 3. Jesus is my friend. – I will stay close to him particularly in the Eucharist! He is with you- forgiving you, helping you and Eucharist! He is with you- forgiving you, helping you and accompanying you on life’s journey. accompanying you on life’s journey.

• 4. Mary is a mother who helps4. Mary is a mother who helps

• 5. I choose to be kind. 5. I choose to be kind.

• 6. Serve others. The surest way to happiness is by serving others in 6. Serve others. The surest way to happiness is by serving others in little ways. little ways.

C. KindnessC. Kindness• Kindness is the glue that keeps the whole Preventive System together! Kindness is the glue that keeps the whole Preventive System together!

• St. John Bosco teaches us that - Persuasion and kindness are our #1 St. John Bosco teaches us that - Persuasion and kindness are our #1 method/means of discipliningmethod/means of disciplining

IT TAKES KINDNESS TO CREATE THE PROPER CLIMATE—IT TAKES KINDNESS TO CREATE THE PROPER CLIMATE—

• THE POWER OF KINDNESS---go ahead and change 1 life—just one! THE POWER OF KINDNESS---go ahead and change 1 life—just one!

• With a few of our more “real hardened kids’ we may be tempted to “throw With a few of our more “real hardened kids’ we may be tempted to “throw kindness out the window”- we want to take instant and decisive steps to amend kindness out the window”- we want to take instant and decisive steps to amend their behavior now. their behavior now. – Don’t Forget Kindness! Don’t Forget Kindness! – We fail toWe fail to be patient! be patient! Be patientBe patient!!

• Let’s avoid yellingLet’s avoid yelling – – screamers who shout too much lose respect and don’t screamers who shout too much lose respect and don’t have any recourse when they really need to command.have any recourse when they really need to command.

Preventive SystemPreventive System• Lived experience of Don BoscoLived experience of Don BoscoRecommendedRecommended: : • Best learned by living it Best learned by living it • Morrison’s book, Avallone’s Book, Morrison’s book, Avallone’s Book,

Braido’s Book Braido’s Book • Mary Help Of Christians…Mary Help Of Christians…• Pray for Us!Pray for Us!