1

I’M AN ADULT NOT A CHILD

A MEMOIR ABOUT THE STRUGGLE FOR INDEPENDENCE FORTHOSE WITH SPECIAL NEEDS

BY ZACH BLUMSTEIN

3CONTENTS OF ADULTS

MEGAN JORDY LINDSEY

STANLEY JORDAN

MEGAN

I appreciate Megan’s accomplishments. Her body of work at the Soul Center’s artist colony says a lot about her motivation.

5

According to Megan, “we’re getting ready for the move.”

As she speaks, her eyes dance back and forth. She’s examine our progress. She is slightly shaking like she’s waking up at the crack of dawn.  She stays still using self talk to hide any fear. But Megan’s a hard worker she wakes up early to the birds chirping so she can make art with us. Transition is tough for me too. For me change is scary. Every year from kindergarten on, before I don’t sleep on the first day of school. I look back on the year and review my life story. 

I appreciate Megan’s accomplishments. Her body of work at the Soul Center’s artist col-ony says a lot about her motivation. A week ago, I recall looking back on Megan’s first blanket. I remember a blanket full of exqui-site colors; each color chosen by Megan’s keen eye sight; each color is chosen with purpose. The blanket itself sold for $60. I the blanket’s colors come together like magic. Each thread clasping onto the other thread like Megan’s hands filled with strength. She and her facilitator spent a month wearing her artwork piece by piece, some threads

shows their weakness and other threads show their strength. The blanket brings them together to learn about each other and ties together their friendship. This is Megan’s craft and, the blanket is her end product; it is more valuable than money.

Whenever I work with Megan I learn about the brighter side of things. Negativity lives within me Because I’m searching for a job for after College and rejection letters scare me. Megan stays in the moment by under-standing the world on her own terms;

 “It’s just a chair, it’s not difficult, or life changing.” Here I am watching her screw a bolt into the chair and she’s almost done with and I am lost in a past project of hers.

“There’s just too much going on and I hate the directions. I just want to get the chair done.”Megan tells me, “You’ve got to have pa-tience. I just try to stay positive; it’s all you can do.” 

I believe in Megan, in the wake of change it’s all you can do; look to the light and see

“So instead...

I lie.” In my mind Special needs people are kids becuase that’s all I knew

growing up and volunteering at the Friendship Circle.”

7a brighter side. A wide audience is going to view Megan’s work. Her work she puts in is going to be more valuable. Megan’s atten-tion to details and patience and knowledge won’t be known by the world. Prepare your-self to be blown away. because Megan’s an artist at the Soul Center and hangs around people with autism doesn’t mean you make assumptions about her. ADHD is a problem for both Megan and I. College is the direc-tion I went in but for Megan she has her own direction. 

Our chat’s always get interesting because Megan always finds a way to show interest in my life

“What did you do this weekend?” For a second I didn’t say anything. It’s my senior year, my last year to get things done and my weekends don’t mean as much to me as they might mean to her.

“I don’t know. But last weekend I was at synagogue downtown, it’s been a while since I’ve been there.” 

The smile on her face indicates she is going places and wants to show it off. 

“I went to Blake’s Apple Orchard and had some hard cider with my aunt. Next time I’m bringing my cousins.”

“What?” This is Megan’s curve-ball if only I my ears could listen better, I’d recognize her pitch better. Instead roses start growing on my face, my hands stop building the chairs, and my look is disbelief.

She continues, “Zach, I’m 21, I’m old enough to drink.”

So instead of being truthful, I lie. In my mind the Special needs people are kids becuase that’s all I knew growing up and volunteering at the Friendship Circle. a place where teens and kids with special needs are paired up to engage in social activities. Ten years ago I was one of those teens. My understanding of Megan is as a kid. I lie to makes myself ap-pear to forgotten her age. Lying also stops me from looking down on Megan because Megan is a friend at heart. I say,

“I knew that, I mean I thought I knew that. The last time I was at Blake’s I was driving my friend home to Armada for Shabbat. Allysa lives in Detroit but she’s home schooled in Armada.”Megan doesn’t notice the lie. “I could never be home schooled. I like school. I was social and all, even though I’m really shy.”I want to keep Megan as my friend.

“You’re not shy Megan. You’re like one of the few people who I talk to here.” 

“Zach, I’m glad I met you. You’re such a good friend. I can’t wait for you to teach me to draw. Guess what, I’ve been working on what you told me about keeping my hand loose, it actually works.”

“Yeah, it’s just like paperwork, right!”

“I like paperwork, but it’s nothing like paper-work. I mean I do paperwork for my dad, but

it’s more like putting together these chairs. It takes a lot of direction with lots of pro-cess.”

“So is drawing. It’s a bit of a drawn out pro-cess. It takes lots of time but unlike paper-work it’s muscle memory, once you get it you’ll have it for life.”

Soon Megan will be doing paperwork for the art gallery at the Soul Center. She’ll enjoy filing artist statements, planning the wine and cheese parties and making the reservations for important guest speak-ers. With the back of my chair in place, I sit wide-eyed looking at Megan’s two finished chairs. Thank God, it’s lunch time. I need to apologize, since meeting Megan we hon-estly talk about everything knowing her age is important.  “Hey, we need to explore around now that we’re at the Soul Center. Come with me, let’s find some apple cider. You might like some of the cool places near by.”

“Zach, I don’t know. Let me ask Brian.”

Brian is the Creative Director at the Soul Center. He is in charge of the people like Megan and all the artists at the Soul Cen-ter. His duty is to mentor each of them and get the best out of them. “What did Brian say?”

“Brian said we have about 30 minutes and don’t come back drunk.”

Though the artists have freedom to cre-

ate whatever they please, they still have a structure around them. We enter the bar. It’s nothing like the countryside or like Blake’s. Driving by Blake’s at sundown is magical. It’s like seeing the sunrise while camping up north, there’s nothing around you. Megan and I sit down at the bar, I learn Megan grew up in Warren and I grew in West Bloomfield. However, we couldn’t be more similar.

“Megan, what high school did you go to?”

“I went to several schools, but Cardinal was the worst. The kids there are so full of themselves.”

“You mean it’s really cliquey?”

“Yeah, I mean I had a couple of friends like one girl was my best friend. Me and her used to go to movies and all sorts of things together.”

“Cool, do you two still keep in touch?”

“Not really, I mean like I text her but she never answers.”

Shivers roll down my spine. I look around me; so many people are on their phone. I don’t care if they are playing a game or checking Facebook but I am reminded of the people I used to call friends. They were always on their phone, but they stopped responding to my messages.

“I wish I kept in touch with my friends from high school.”

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“The people at

Cardinal were bul-

lies; they called me

four eyes.”The mood is a bit lighter, but at the same time, sitting at the bar with Megan brought my bullies to life. “We’re not aliens, but if you put us together we’d have four eyes in total.”

“I know, right, four eyes isn’t even original.”

My life felt lighter now, like all the bruis-

es from the bullies of the past faded as I sat and drank my beer. I felt I was moving forward with life just like Megan. Megan sits very still, her laughter subsiding. “I once was called four eyes too, people just don’t understand. Some of the smartest people wore glasses. Glasses make me who I am and it made those famous people who they are. If Malcolm X didn’t wear glasses who would Malcolm X be?” 

Megan says, “I studied Malcolm X in high school. We need someone like that for spe-cial needs, haters going to hate.”Reflecting on adulthood, I don’t know why I went to college except to get someplace in life, and to be recognized for something bigger than myself. But no one in college accepts me for me. I’ve even thought about

dropping out. But dropping out means working at a bar and serving “adults” who make more money than you, wear gold watches, odd neckties not matching their suit, and have personalities that get lost in whatever they do for a living.

In college, my roommates couldn’t accept my failures;

11

MEGAN

JORDY

13

When Megan and I get back from the bar Jordy and Cary are there to greet us. It’s been years since I’ve seen Jordy and Cary. My dad supposedly has a tight friendship with Cary. I never knew where their friend-ship went. But, college has pulled me away from this World of Friendship. From short chats with my father my understanding is as follows: Cary is a father figure to Jordy, but you could visualize how important Jordy is to Cary; the way Cary holds Jordy’s hand as they are attempting to draw together. I find a seat between Lindsey and Jordy. I shake Cary’s hand because he’s my dad’s friend and I ask,

“How’s Jordy today?” 

“Jordy’s great, today was a great day, right Jordy?” Jordy didn’t nod his head, he was busy with a purple marker.

“Did you and Jordy do anything fun today?”

“Yeah, we were just at the DIA. Right, Jordy?”

To put into perspective how well Cary knows Jordy, they spend about 20 hours a week go-ing to art galleries, playing sports and learn-ing about the world. 

“We made a new friend today.”

“I hear Jordy now gives hugs.”

“Yes, he does; today he put a smile on the poor man’s face at the DIA.”

This wows me. Jordy never gave me hugs seven years ago, instead he bit me. The change in the air is real and it kept happening.

“That’s crazy you two were downtown. Later I’ll be downtown too. I go to school at CCS.”

“I went to CCS years ago for music back when they had a music program, it was world famous. One day Jordy is going to be world famous. Isn’t that right?” Jordy turns around and he seems to under-stand Cary. 

Jordy is sitting before me with his purple marker dead in the center of the page. He looked as though he didn’t care about what he was drawing. He kind of is a bit all over the place with his marker. 

“Hey, what else did you and Jordy do downtown?”

15

“Jordy loves Detroit, Zach. Today me and Jordy spent a lot of time down-town. Not only did we go to the DIA, but we also went to MOCAD. I’m get-ting Jordy ready for the new Soul Center. This place is more than I ex-

pected.

”“I know, right, it’s perfect for Jordy. It’s got some structure but Jordy has the freedom to make his dreams reality. What did Jordy see at MOCAD? Did he see anything he liked?” I haven’t explored Detroit in so long; it’s nice to have a fresh perspective from Jordy and Cary. This is my chance to explore Detroit through Jordy’s eyes.

Cary says, “Woman in Key of E, Jordy absolutely loved this exhibit. It’s just a woman sitting up on a pedestal in a huge room. Everything is gold all around you. The woman is even playing a gold guitar and wearing this beautiful gold dress. People some-times come and walk around her for 15-45 minutes. But, when Jordy walks in there this is heaven to him. Inside this gold room Jordy stands so still, he is entranced by this woman and with the music she is playing.”

“How long did you stay in this gold room?”

“Well, Jordy loved it so much. I think we stayed least long enough that no one else is there. He starts to run around and sing the notes she’s playing.

17Then you won’t believe what happened, the perform-er starts to cry. Zach she is a piece of art. She was just an in-stallment at the MOCAD.”

“No way, how do things like this just happen?”

“Jordy is truly an inspira-tion, to me and the performer. She connect-ed with him so deeply. He really affected this lady who was just an art piece emotionally.”

Jordy keeps changing so much so that I am thrown back in my chair. Tension grows in my neck from remembering the bite Jordy gave me years ago. But this is an amazing biting tension.

“There’s a lot going on in Jordy’s life; what else have I missed out on?”

“Hey Zach, you’re crazy.” Lind-sey screams. She’s the person whom I am helping create art. Though at the moment my focus is totally diverted. Cary doesn’t realize my job is to help Lindsey, but I am busy catching up on where Jordy is in life. 

“Well, Jordy is at a school for people like himself with special needs. They are teaching him social skills, control, and how to do laundry. They’re basical-ly preparing him for the real

WOMAN IN KEY OF E

world, a world where I might not always be by his side.”

Jordy is in the middle of scratching out what seems to be a purple triangle. He is semi-clinging to the marker, moving it around like a bird circling the earth. His pen doesn’t really know what direction it wants to go in, but it keeps circling till a purple triangle seems to appear. Cary is guiding Jordy carefully, almost like a baby with a direction. Jordy is still struggling to get something on paper and I look to Cary for help and ask, “Why does Jordy act the way he does? I can’t seem to inspire him to make anything.”

“Imagine being a baby or a toddler. I mean you, Zach.” 

“Please explain.”

“It’s a scary world out there. Jordy once had to experience all by himself. You’re going to be frustrated. Life is frustrating for all of us. Imagine how hard that is for Jordy. Jordy found his own way to express his frustration through some bad behaviors, like biting, biting himself, scratching, hitting and you can’t blame him, he’s just express-ing himself. I’ve been working with Jordy to

overcome some of these problems.” As we chat, you can see the pride in Cary’s face as he attempts to help Jordy try to draw and Jordy sits there with almost a blank look on his face. 

“When Jordy was 8 years old, he was a little guy. He was in a stroller and he was extremely tough to work with. You could find him biting on his sleeve, hitting, or biting someone or something. Jordy was once ‘that annoying kid,’ he would literally take his hand and knock everything off the table like a bowling ball. He would do it at home, at my house, and even in a high-end restaurant.”

“Does Jordy know his direction in life What goals does Jordy have?”

“Jordy has a job like you have a job. Jordy inspires me every day and, he is an inspira-tion to all.”By now I could see a landscape forming before him. The purple triangle is the sky, there are semi-squares which are the trees and all the beings of the world who ever wronged Jordy are the other colors Jordy uses. Yet, they are just squares to Jordy in my opinion.

Jordy used to lay on his back, just to look up at the ceiling; some people call this his “autistic world”. He could stay in this state of mind all by himself as long as you let him. There were also times when Jordy wouldn’t let you touch him. Sometimes he’d be in a happyA state of mind and he would come up to you and give you a hug. Yet, there were other days when I would go for the hug

19I ask Cary about this “When I attended the Friendship Circle as a teen why did Jordy try to bite me?”

“At times, sadly, Jordy doesn’t want to be a part of our world. He’s in his own world and he’s happy to be by himself there. Jordy has trouble being able to explain what he needs, he can’t tell you if he is hungry or tired. Jordy’s changed in so many ways. Jordy now loves people, Jordy loves being social or as social as he can be. He shows this by not hit-ting, biting or scratching anyone anymore. In fact he doesn’t even clear the table anymore.”

It’s very apparent the work Cary and Jordy have put into Jordy’s ability to function in our world. I’ve actually seen Jordy inspire the people in the Soul Café. I also saw Jordy at The Shul several times. Jordy inspires me and many other people there. I didn’t realize how much growth I’ve person-

ally seen in Jordy.

Cary says, “Yeah, I always bring Jordy to synagogue and everything is fine.”

“Jordy enjoys going to synagogue?”

“Jordy loves it. I was talking to Rabbi Shem Tov a couple years ago. I explain Jordy doesn’t talk, so just like a blind person hears better, Jordy feels thing very deeply.” 

“So that’s why you bring Jordy to synagogue every weekend?”

“Yeah, it’s really solidified our friendship. Before it was just me taking Jordy to synagogue, now every-one wants to take Jordy to synagogue because they want to get the same experience Jordy gets.” 

So, for the times Cary is not with Jordy at the Soul Center. I get to see the real progress Cary has made with Jordy.

It’s tough, just like any

project I start with any of the other artists. It’s extremely hard getting Jordy to set goals for himself and I can be the one to tell you exactly what goals Jordy has. Like some of Jordy’s goals are to get away from me. One way I’ve helped Jordy continue in the process of creating new things is making a list for him. With every completion on his list, we celebrate. 

This is how I need to view the world. I need to simplify my issues, not everything needs to have details. Not everything needs to hurt you; not if you’re strong. The world’s not a scary place. (can’t read what you wrote…add it here)

21

JORDY

LINDSEY

23

Lindsey’ communication skills fall bellow Megan’s, Retrospectively though she can say more than Jordy. Lindsey and I are both hard at work on all her different projects like mak-ing her pillows and drawing One Direction. We move threw each project by discussing her likes and dislikes. While I’m working with Lindsey I am also talking to Carry about Jordy and we were going nowhere on her drawing foundations. Some days I pretend I am a computer with two windows open it’s crazy but it’s how I try to get things done.

Lindsey calls everyone crazy. But in reality, I think she’s calling the world crazy because from my experiences the patients of the world is limited for people like Lindsey or Jordy. But, she’s also crazy in the best way possible. She has an undeniable love for One Direction and we had plans to draw them later at the moment we are drawing Squares, circles, and triangles because When Lindsey picks up the pen to draw her favorite band it never comes out the way she wants it and she wants to be as talented as Megan.

After holding her hand threw the basics I needed to set her free and break my ways

with babying her. her pen constantly goes in one direction filled with circles and love. She expresses herself through One Direction. It starts with circles in the center and then her pen starts wrapping around all the ideas I ini-tially set forward for her to draw to push her to create new things. But as I said she draws One Direction every time.

I don’t tell her to stop; it’s important to keep Lindsey going because she can be like stop and go traffic. stomping on the break ped-al sets her off in to space starring at what’s above the world it makes me think she’s looking for something new to draw but she’s not. With a little motivation she’s a speed rac-er driving like she knows what she’s doing.

During pit stops I try to bring her out of outer space by spending time getting to know her. Lindsey’s starts telling me about her journey from the west side of Michigan to the east side of the state. She left the rolling hills of wester Michigan where she had all the time in the world to wonder earth now when she try’s wondering she has to sit and let her mind wonder. Lindsey’s horse Raider lives there.

I recall when she first men-tions her horse. A week ago we started her pillow which is still a work in progress. The way Lindsey works on her pillow reflects the same motion of petting a horse. she is extremely gentle with her horse based off how she moves her needle with such care. Everything is going well with the pillow, but when I lose focus Lind-sey also loses focus. She gets off track and forgets to bring the needle around the loom so the string wraps around the loom in the wrong direction.

She names her pillow flow-ers for it’s pink and green colors. even though it was a montage of colors it dec-orated like an explosion of roses.

I also have some things in common with Lindsey. My attention span only lasts so long I have to find my focus when working with Lindsey, Jordy and sometimes Me-gan share a common trait; if you don’t put all your focus into either of them you lose them . I don’t have focus. I have the same attention span that Megan has. 

Though her pillow is still a work in progress we are in the middle of her illustra-tion. I’m busy now encour-aging Lindsey to bring her abstraction of One Direc-tion alive which makes the creases of her cheeks glow with admiration. As she trashes her pen back and forth she comes to creat-ing a ruthless crowd in the background. she’s unrelent-

ing with her strokes at this point in the drawing.

She draws the crowd with lots of back and forth strokes. Her paper is the stage and as her pen cross-es the paper she begins to almost crowd surfing threw the crowd because when she finishes this pieces she’ll be the hero.

Lindsey went to a One Direction concert once and she reminds me every day about how much fun she had through telling me about it and drawing one direction. With every ren-dition of One Direction I become confused. Whether I’m actually looking at One Direction or not I’m still proud of her every time she gets anything done. 

25

LINDSEY

27

I’ll be the first one to admit making art with the artists at the Soul Center is no easy task, though Lindsey and I are in it together. She is one of the youngest artists; she is still in high school. The fact she’s younger doesn’t hinder her skills; it’s her stage of life. Her age doesn’t make her better or worse; it means sometimes I’m literally holding her hand as I help facilitate her projects. But I must give her structure I can’t always hold her hand I need to make sure she is setting goals for herself and accomplishing them This is how I set myself up to treating the special needs adults as adults and not kids.

29

I walk around and I see people playing bingo and I don’t see stanley’s bright eye faces or the kid from the past who could go from being at the computer to not finishing a card game and then spending the rest of the night confronting the TV by yelling at the sports game on.

STANLEY

31From The last time seeing him the changes to him are real. . Not is his facial hair growing , but there are aspects to his maturity that blew me away. Stanley is living in a group home in Southfield. Being in a group home is the best situation for Stanley because it pro-vides him an opportunity to be independent. He lives with three other people, though he tells me while we are at dinner together that he doesn’t really know them and they don’t really hang out because they are all girls. 

catching up with Stanley is important to me because I want to see where he is in life as it had been a while since I’ve seen him. Stanley hasn’t been to the Soul Cen-ter yet, but after school lets out, he promises me he’ll

be there. On the way to the photo shoot and interview, Stanley and I have a chance to talk.

A group home is a facility for people built for special needs adults. It gives them the independence From no-where, this man with special needs stops me. e . e is for visiting the center.

I walk around and I see people playing bingo and I don’t see stanley’s bright eye faces or the kid from the past who could go from being at the computer to not finishing a card game and then spending the rest of the night confronting the TV by yelling at the sports game on.

Being in the basement is like being on earth and they are worlds away . With no

friendly faces insight how am I going to find Stanley. Also I am not the only visitor at this group home. A group of psychiatric nurses are hanging in the some-what of and arts and crafts room, nowhere near state of the art. One of there members is roaming. He is a silent viewer observing the people in front of him like they are in a fishbowl. He walks by me. I reach out to shake his hand.

“Hi, I’m Zach nice to meet you.” I stop the observer in his tracks. He introduces himself but all I hear is

“Hi I’m studying psychiatry.”

“What are you guys doing here?”

“Oh I’m here With Oakland University” To myself I ask

if that’s your first or last name?

“I go to the College for Creative Studies and I’m searching for my friend Stanley. Have you seen him” He stares me in the eye like he doesn’t even care what my friends name is.

“So your not a client?” To myself I say Correct! Stop knocking on the glass of my own personal fish bowl. He continues “You’re an artist, what’s your medium?” Screaming to my self Hey captain obvious. Give these people your observing a chance. They are artists too.

Continuing “I have not seen your friend, maybe he’s in the library.”

“Sure “I say out loud, but he must have some evil plan to tie my friend up in the library and read his favorite book to Stanley.

Finally, I hear Stanley “Is that you zach sorry I didn’t hear my text I didn’t know you were here.”

Here I am seeing an old friend and no one wel-

comes me as a friend. My feelings run through me with caution. I feel removed from my identity; I am what others think I am. Finally after running through the judgements of those sur-rounding me as I catch up with my friend Stanley.

I ask him, “Do you remem-ber when I babysat for you? Was I any good at it?” I remembered babysitting for Stanley and I know that I wasn’t always the best, but we had a great time playing video games together. 

“Zach, that was so long ago. I don’t know. I liked playing video games with you.”

“Those were good times.”

“Yeah, but I don’t need a babysitter anymore.”

“You’re right; you’re your own man now.

That’s so exciting right?”

“Sure.”

Some things about Stanley haven’t changed. His addi-tion to his phone is real just like everyone elses. He still

loves baseball. I recalled the last time I saw Stanley, it was at his graduation party where he couldn’t sit still, he’d be everywhere at the same time.

He still has this problem, but it’s more subtle; he has really grown to be patient. He sits for a half hour wait-ing for my team to set up our interview with him.

I also get the chance to talk to his mother who gives me more insights into the changes that Stanley is going through. His moth-er confirms the fact that he still loves baseball, but when he tried to play it never really worked out for him. Instead of baseball, he used to bowl, sing and act. He played the mechanical in A Midsummer Night’s Dream, a pilot in Peter Pan and a pickpocket in Oliver. Though he wasn’t a great singer, he was destined to act on stage. 

When he was younger, he went to Hillel of Met-ropolitan Detroit, a small

33Jewish day school and the Frankel Jewish Academy for high school. Because they are small schools, he wasn’t generally picked on. People were usually nice and let him sit next to them at lunch. Although he did tell me about a kid who made fun of him, but that kid was kicked out of school. I also went to the Jewish Academy and felt accepted. There was this kid named Jamie who used to pick on me in middle school; once he put lotion on his hand and pre-tended it was another substance. But, we all grow up with time; at a small school he had to accept me because we had every class together. 

As a kid Stanley traveled a lot with his family, but Stanley is not a kid anymore and now he has to do adult things, like go to college, find a job and do his laundry. Be-

ing independent is one of Stanley’s goals. During the year that Stanley lived in Flori-da, he learned many social skills and now he’s even starting to cook. While in Florida he made new friends who are also special needs, they hung out, socialized and lived together. According to Stanley, the place where he stayed was awesome.

His mom says he’s really interested in working with kids. “He’s always had an in-terest in working with kids because he used to be a counselor at a camp and he always had fun joking around with the kids.” Cur-rently he’s attending Oakland Community College where he studies English, but he’s not really sure what he wants to be when he grows up. Right now Stanley tutors kids after school and we discuss the idea of possibly continuing to be a tutor. I hope he follows through on his promise to go to the

Soul Center because I think he’d be great at facilitating art projects. 

Stanley loves to talk about his family. He has the best parents in the world, Sylvia and Randy.

According to Stanley, “They love me and care about me and have cared about me since the day I was born.” He and his family go to Tiger and Red Wing games, and he loves going to the University of Michigan football games. Stanley’s favorite baseball player is Miguel Cabrera. They even named their dog after Cabrera; they call him Pudge. He is truly inspired by his great-grandfather, Max Fisher.

“He made a great impact on Israel and the city (of Detroit) and the country.” Changing the world is also Stanley’s goal; he wants to make peace in Israel. His travels have taken him to Israel three times.

Stanley is an adult and he is independent, he’s grown to Be patient and thought he still can’t look you in the eyes he’s working on that. there is a slight tones of insecurity in his voice. For me, looking at my own future, getting a job is scary; the world is full of fear. Yet according to my brother, “fear is a natu-ral emotion.”

35

37My brother is an inspiration to all. He’s one of the reasons I got back

into volunteering. he’s my brother, a rabbi and a coordinator at the

Friendship Circle. I left the Group home to go chat with

my brother, To get some answers to my questions about special needs and to

defeat the perception they are not kids because they are adults.

“What’s changed for people with special needs now that they are adults from

when I was a teen volunteer?”My brother gave my journey perspec-

tive because we are discussing the Changes I am enduring. He tells me,

JORDAN

“What changes for special needs adults is their stage of life. When you knew them

they were in middle school or high school what they were doing is typical activities

for middle school or and high schoolers. As you grow up you’re moving into your

career, for them this it’s a bit trickier. So the Soul Center is a way for them to also move into their career and have a plan will make

them feel like adults as well.” 

Jordan sees friendships blossom every day. For the past six years my brother has been responsible for overseeing the friendships

between the teen volunteers and special needs kids. But with the cadence he spoke

with really showed his understanding for my situation. I appreciate his knowledge for

what the adults with special needs endure everyday. I Remember him being there for

the Megan, Jordy, Lindsey, Stephanie, and Stanley when they were actually kids and

not perceived as kids.

Some of their initial friendships start out as once a week activities and blossom into life time friends. In the same way Cary and

Jordy are best friends, I need guidance in becoming best friends for life with my new

best friends at the Soul Center. 

“So, like how are the programs at the Friendship Circle changing to fit my friends

now that they are adults?”

was pressing issue concerning me all day is the hominess of the Friendship Circle com-parison to the group home where I couldn’t

find one best friend and pretty much no

one wanted me there. Why did I feel so much at home at friendship circle?

“Since you were at the Friendship Circle the programming has changed in many

ways. The programs are constantly grow-ing as we’re constantly professionalizing

programing. But, we’re also trying to keep them based on the foundation of friend-

ship, similar to what we have with our kids’ division, which is a friendship between a kid

with special needs and teen volunteer or someone in the community who wants to

help.”

“That simplifies things for me, thanks Jor-dan. It feels good to be one of those mem-bers in the community, so what about the

Soul Center?”

Jordan took a slight pause. My thoughts are exploring yesterday, when Megan and

I discover we both have a lot in common. People continue to question us and our

skills, but we endure. Because of this I am able to better understand Megan as an

adult. Even though I did question her age.

Jordan’s eyes understood m y thoughts and continued “The Soul Center is

following in the path where we’re trying to provide friendship and eliminate isolation for people as they grow up and for adults

with special needs; that’s the challenge, the world can seem isolating to them. This is providing an opportunity for them to feel

valued, supported, included, and helps them find friends.”

39I look back on the day and without the Soul Center, I would never been able to connect with Megan. Megan displays all

the confidence in the world, but still semi-feels isolated from the world around her.

She doesn’t keep in touch with her old friends from high school because many of them don’t see her as a part of their

friend group or life any more. She’s afraid to reconnect with them out of fear of not

fitting in. And I could help her fit in and make art but she might stay shy.

I ask, “Why is finding a job hard for some-one with special needs?”

“It’s a bit trickier. The challenges and the competition are exceedingly difficult. Ev-eryone wants everyone to do everything in this day and age. They’re competing in

the real world and that’s challenging.”

The competition is real at the Soul Center lindsey got caught up in the competition

the other day. Linsey was in awe of Becky who’s an amazing illustrator. I mean

yesterday I saw how she could stipple. My other friends are witnesses to her talents,

and they were as jealous as I am. Then lindsey and my other friends start at-

tempting to draw as well as Becky without much success. 

Becky’s mother mentions when she picks Becky up from the Soul Center , “Becky

has been drawing since she was five. When she was younger she used to draw people without their nose.” Now she can

almost draw professional illustrations.

With a little help from people like Bri-an,whose a professional illustrator.

Yesterday I recall Brian teaching Megan and another girl how to draw. They are

both tracing a person’s face and practicing the motion of drawing someone’s face.

Then they take there new skill to the paper and attempt duplicating the person’s face. However, he isn’t teaching Lindsey how to draw. I am in charge of Lindsey and Lind-sey feels like she is ultimately going to fall

behind. Each individual needs individual attention and sometimes someone feels

left out. 

I need to figure out how I will deal with a situation like this if it were to occur again. I ask, “How could I have helped Lindsey feel

included?”Jordan answers, “When I’m at the Friend-

ship Circle everyone has value, a purpose, everyone is equal in that purpose and everyone is equal in God’s eyes. This is

why I work at the Friendship Circle which is focused on friendship and equality with the idea of inclusion and support.” My brother believes in these ideas are a necesity, not

only in special needs; it’s meant for anyone who needs it. 

The fact, Lindsey is behind Meagan and Becky may have skill or talent; but the fact is, I am there for her, giving her the inclu-

sion and support by being a friend and teaching her the foundations of art, which

is shape and line. I was giving her the tools she needed to create whatever she wants. Whether it’s horses, flowers, or One Direc-

tion. 

I am learning how to specialize in friend-ship. I look up to my brother, he does every

day for a living. For instance Carry who I’ve met before and my father knew. Carry dedicates himself to being Carries friend.

Sometimes while making art I forget Jordy is in the room because he can’t talk or

communicate what he wants to draw he draws.

My brother and I literally spend an hour trying to define friendship together. And

how I can be a better friend to people like jordy who can’t communicate what they

need. We find it’s all about being there for people when they need it most. My broth-

er helps me further understand the idea of friendship though. “When I reach out to

people who need it sometimes it’s a phone call, a visit, sometimes it’s an ongoing

friendship and sometimes while the person is giving friendship they are getting well.”

With the competitive world special needs live in, it can be hard to make your way

because not everyone is inclusive. It takes people like my brother and others to rise up to the challenge and find ways to give

them a leg up and help them make it in this world. His team believes everyone has

a value, everyone has a purpose and ev-eryone is equal in that purpose, because

everyone is equal in the eyes of God. 

“Getting the best out of Jordy is very im-portant to me; though I’m not sure how I can get the best out of Jordy because we

41can’t communicate. And how do you get

the best out of your own team?”

We try to get the best out of everyone who comes through our doors; the real way is being as professional as possible. At the end of the day if something isn’t working

it’s either the programing isn‘t going well or sometimes the staff isn’t doing a good job. There has to be an issue and my team and

I work hard together to find these issues. We don’t sit around and try to blame each

other; we rectify the issue to get the best out of everyone.”

This felt good to me, the reality is Jordy isn’t Picasso yet. It’s not my fault it’s how the

world works.

Then There is Stanely whom I use to baby sit and attend sports night with. “When I

played sports with my friends back in the day some of them were picked last or total-

ly un-included and not treated fairly. What can I do to make sure people are treated

fairly in this case?”

Adults with special needs have trouble being treated fairly at times by different

people. A lot of things my brother does for people with special needs, like sports night,

are developed to include people, whom at one point in time weren’t able to play

sports in high school or elementary school because they weren’t included. Jordan con-

tinues, “I used to run an anti-bullying pro-gram called ‘Up Standers’ because some

people were un-included and the point was to get people to not be mean, either inten-

tionally or inadvertently.”

Immediately I recall my experience with Megan who has started her new quilt

because she had finished her old quilt at the old Soul Center. She has been work-ing so hard to regain her confidence, to

stand up and say she wants to make new friends. The friends she thought she had

were not true friends to her. “How does art help artists like Megan who may have been

mistreated and bullied as a kid?”

“Art is a wonderful form. First of self-ex-pression is a way of expressing who and what’s on the inside; and for people with

special needs, they struggled with commu-nication. Making a work of art is an amazing

way for them to communicate with others. Other than that art is a way people com-pete on a level playing field that is semi-equal. A person with special needs may

not be able to communicate or do certain things. However, they can still produce art. Especially in today’s day and age, there are

some art systems. They may be better at, where they can learn the systems and do it to get a great job. They can use the 3D printer or laser cutter and they can pro-

duce great things too.”

“I can’t wait to see what they produce I”

Jordan continues “So while art is born from therapy, it actually is a way for them to cre-ate things they can sell and they will have a job bringing out their skill sets and talents.”

Talking about the art one creates, to me

and many other designers I go to school with is perceived as egotistical. You are

showing off what you can do because you’re Mr. or Ms. “I can do it all” and you’ve always been known as the one who can do

it all. Maybe it is that we have been doing this craft for years and we’re tired of talking

about your amazing, pure talent. Not all the individuals at the Soul Center have this

innate talent.

There’s a sense of humble pride roar-ing through the individuals at the Soul

Center. Some are discovering they bring something unique to the table of their

new facility. Some of them have hidden talents they never thought they’d be good

at, like choosing a color and being proud they love different colors; I shouldn’t take

this for granted. Pride radiates from these individuals whenever they finish anything. “What do you know of the talents that the special needs at the Soul Center have and

express?”

“There’s an adult in the Soul Center who sold their first piece of art and got their first

pay check ever. There’s pride in making a paycheck, there’s a pride in trying to make something. There’s pride, self-esteem, and there’s confidence that comes with all the

different parts.”

The idea of the Soul Center, the place where I volunteer, these individuals are not

playing a big kid’s game; it’s not a part of the Friendship Circle for this reason. The

idea is to treat people like adults. Here they really work, they ultimately learn a lot from

their mistakes, and they are really advanc-ing in life like their friends who went on to college. Additionally, College might not be

right for everyone.

My intention is to always stay unstoppable. To do this I must question everything. Pretend to know nothing and routinely learn everything

five years ago I finished my volunteering at Friendship Circle. I played my role in this organization for seven years before attending the College for Creative Studies.

I thought I knew everything about special needs. But out of curiosity I

really wanted to know what my brother did for work. But my creative got the best of me. I discovered my old friends struggles with adult hood cause more stress then my own struggle.

Special needs adults demand to be respected like adults. No more and no less. To baby or to spoil them when they are a kid is wonderful. But they’re needs differ from person to person. More than anything they need structure. Next, they won’t always ask for a friend, it is up to us to reach out and to create one.

ZACHBLUMSTEIN

COPYWRITING UNSTOPPABLE