structure of a wedding ceremonysidmennt.is/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/2007_wedding_… · web...

BHA Wedding Celebrants’ Training Manual (1)

BRITISH HUMANIST ASSOCIATION

WEDDING CELEBRANTS’ TRAINING COURSE MANUAL

1 Gower Street, London WC1E 6HDTel: 020 7462 4991

training @humanism.org.uk

© British Humanist Association March 2007

mailto:[email protected]


www.humanism.org.uk

INDEX

Page 3 Technical course overview

4 Trainers and trainees

5 Structure of a wedding ceremony

6 From first contact to farewell: the phone call

7 From first contact to farewell: meeting the couple

11 From first contact to farewell: the venue

15 From first contact to farewell: rehearsal

15 From first contact to farewell: on the day

18 Attending a meeting with the couple

19 Music for weddings

22 Homework assignment

23 Sample certificate


http://www.humanism.org.uk/


Part 3 – Technical Training: Weddings

Purpose of the To enable prospective Celebrants sessions: to create and deliver Humanist wedding ceremonies.

To enable trainers to decide who qualifies to be accepted as a probationary Celebrant

Objectives: By the end of part three of the training delegates will have the skills and knowledge to be able to

o Write a Humanist ceremony o Conduct a Humanist wedding ceremonyo Manage themselves professionally as

Humanist celebrants

Participated in activities that strengthen their knowledge and confidence

Had the opportunity for 1-1 feedback with a trainer

Received a brief for ongoing work to be completed before accreditation

Programme Reviewing progress to date The competencies framework From first contact to farewell The importance of music in Humanist

ceremonies Records, book keeping and tax issues Working with others After the ceremony Steps to accreditation Team working on a wedding ceremony

Personal Study after the Technical Training

Delegates are asked to o Write a ceremony script for formal assessment and marking o Begin to take ceremonies, passed to them by their regional or area

coordinator and/or mentor, or through their own activity, only after final script has been passed

o Work towards accreditation, ideally on the second or third ceremony



TRAINERS

Trainers/Facilitators

TRAINEES



THIS MANUAL IS WRITTEN IN THE CONTEXT OF A CEREMONY FOR A HETEROSEXUAL COUPLE. THERE IS NO DIFFERENTIATION IN THE EYES OF THE BHA FOR A CELEBRATION OF THE UNION OF A GAY OR LESBIAN COUPLE, HENCE THE ADVICE IN THIS MANUAL CAN BE APPLIED TO ANY APPROPRIATE CEREMONY.

STRUCTURE OF A WEDDING CEREMONY

This is a structure that will work in most circumstances. It should not be followed slavishly but it gives a starting point from which to develop and vary according to the wishes of the couple and your own style.

Music – as guests gather.

Call guests to order, introduction and welcome.

o Parish notices – e.g. mobile phones, photographs, etc.o Introduction to Humanism

Entry of the Bride – music.

Start the ceremony.

Why a ceremony here and now.

Endorsement of parents and other key guests.

Role of the guests.

Reading.

Something about the couple (and their children?).

Thoughts on marriage.

Reading and/or music

Aspirations/Vows/Commitment.

Exchange of Tokens.

Closing Words.

o Well-wishingo Closing notices.

Exit – Music

BE PREPARED FOR ANYTHING TO HAPPEN.



FROM FIRST CONTACT TO FAREWELL

1. THE PHONE CALL

You may contacted by one of the following:

Your Regional Co-ordinator or Area Contact The couple Another family member

It is advisable to give information to the couple over the ‘phone or by email and to establish contact details. If they feel they want to go ahead then plan to meet and give them an opportunity to decline your services if they do not feel at ease with you. It is important to establish that it is their day and you are there to help them, not to dictate every last detail.

This is a typical email response to a wedding enquiry. I have pasted below my “standard” response to email enquiries.

Humanist wedding ceremonies are created by the couple working with the Celebrant. They are very flexible and can be as elaborate or simple as desired.

The slightly perverse law in England means that the ceremony cannot confer the legal state of marriage on a couple – that still has to be completed at a Register Office or other legally recognised venue – but most couples view the Humanist ceremony as the time when they truly commit themselves to marriage in front of family and friends. On a positive note, this does mean that Humanist wedding ceremonies are not constrained to take place only in premises with a licence for civil ceremonies. Most Celebrants are happy to conduct ceremonies outside, on hilltops, in gardens, wherever.

The fundamental point about a Humanist ceremony is that it has no religious content. The focus is on the couple and their commitment to each other (and their children if they have any), and our responsibilities to each other as human beings. That said, it is quite acceptable to have a moment or two of reflection during the ceremony where guests with a religious belief may have a private prayer if that is their way.

The ceremonies usually include music and readings.

The Celebrant will be able to advise you on what works and what may pose something of a problem. We have extensive experience to draw on both individually and across a national network.



The fee that I normally charge for a ceremony in Mummerset is no more than £350. This is the total cost with no other extras (assuming that we can get together locally for the first meeting) and it covers all my travel, a rehearsal at the location a day or two before the wedding, the preparation and delivery of the ceremony and a final copy of the script that is used.

The British Humanist Association can send you a booklet entitled “Sharing The Future” that will go some way to answering any questions about the ceremony….just call 0207 079 3580 or email at [email protected]

If you decide to go ahead with a Humanist ceremony, or you simply wish to discuss ideas further, than please email me or give me a call.

I hope I hear from you soon but, whatever, very best wishes.

Early information to gather and give:

Full name of the partners - and names known as. Date, time and venue of ceremony. Contact details. Confirmation of your role as a Humanist celebrant. Location and date/time for an initial meeting. An early understanding of costs prevents embarrassment later.

2. MEETING THE COUPLE

Give the couple your telephone number, in case they are delayed.

It is usually advisable to meet at their home/family home if possible as one can gather a lot of subliminal information about the couple which will assist in the construction and delivery of the ceremony.

Plan for the meeting; it is often helpful to have a check list of questions to work through. The pro-forma below is a typical way of gathering information at the initial meeting.


mailto:[email protected]


WEDDING CEREMONY

COUPLE:

CHILDREN:

VENUE: APPROVED USE: ACCESS:

TIME & DATE: FEE:

CONTACT ADDRESS:

PHONE:EMAIL:

HUMANISM:

WEATHER: PARKING:

DRESS CODE: FOOTWEAR:

MUSIC: 1: * 2: 3:

FATHER OF THE BRIDE: BRIDE’S ENTRY:

BEST MAN/WOMAN:

BRIDESMAIDS/FLOWER GIRLS/PAGE BOY:

READING: 1: * BY: 2: BY:

COMMITMENTS: EXCHANGE TOKENS:

TOAST: PHOTOGRAPHS: PRESS:

CONFETTI: CONTRACT: LEGAL CEREMONY:

NOTES: (* It is not essential that the ceremony has 3 pieces of music and 2 readings. It is unlikely that you will glean much information about music and readings at the first meeting)



Personal Security

In some circumstances you may think it desirable to show some form of identity on arrival. In line with our Code of Practice and for your own security, you should also have told some responsible person where you are going.

Skills

Be empathetic but professional in your approach. Listen in a careful and unhurried way (trying not to be agitated by

distractions and repetitions). You may well find yourself giving a lot of information and advice. Be

open-minded and encourage couples to use their imagination.

Technique

You need to be prepared for the meeting. Practically, the order of the discussion may have to vary from your

preferred sequence depending on how the conversation develops. Choices have to be made about music and readings but they can often

wait till much nearer the ceremony. It can be very helpful if you collect suitable readings and examples of commitments to send to couples to help their preparation in the coming weeks and months.

Assure them you will be available to them - and will welcome further contact with them but do not get drawn into too many meetings. One is usually sufficient if the ceremony is then developed by email.

In being professional it is wise to contract with the couple and advise them that you will not commit to any further work until you have received a deposit from them.

It is most advisable to plan a rehearsal for the ceremony. It is suggested that the words be kept for the actual day but checking the venue, cues, entrances and exits, introduction of speakers, bride’s entry, music operation, etc are key to the smooth delivery of the final ceremony.

It is wise to take a digital camera (even the one on a mobile ‘phone) to take an image of the couple at the meeting…it may be many months before you see them again and it helps to be able to recognise them.



EXAMPLE CONTRACT FOR WEDDING CEREMONY

The Wedding Ceremony of:

at

to be conducted by xxxxxxxxxxx (“the Celebrant”), a member of the British Humanist Association.

We, (“the Couple”) undertake to pay the Celebrant the sum of £350 for the design, delivery and conduct of the ceremony detailed above in the manner and following the script agreed before the date of the ceremony. A deposit of £100 to be paid on acceptance of this contract. The balance shall be paid on or before the day of the ceremony. The fee shall include the Celebrant’s attendance at a rehearsal before the ceremony at a mutually agreed time.The Celebrant undertakes to make his best endeavours to conduct the ceremony on the date and at the time stated above. If delayed by circumstances beyond his control (including, but not limited to, severe illness, a car accident, etc.) this will not constitute a breach of contract. In such an event the Celebrant shall give notice to the Couple as soon as is practicable and he will make every effort to provide an alternative Celebrant to conduct the ceremony from the same script. Should an alternative Celebrant not be found, failure to appear shall give the Couple the right to annul the contract with all monies so far paid by them to the Celebrant being refundable to them.The Couple shall be responsible for the insurance of their goods and property and for the insurance of any goods or property provided by the Couple for use by the Celebrant in the delivery of the ceremony. The Celebrant shall not be liable for any loss or damage to such goods.Any claim by the Couple against the Celebrant in respect of this contract or services therein shall be limited to the value of this contract. Any variations to these terms and conditions shall be agreed in writing by all parties.

Signed by: for the Couple. Date:

Signed by: for the Couple. Date:

Signed by: the Celebrant. Date:



3. THE VENUE

The great delight of wedding ceremonies is the diverse and often beautiful locations in which we get to work. Conducting a rehearsal is a good way of ensuring that you have found the right location and can park reasonably.

Many ceremonies are on a Saturday. BEWARE OF HOLIDAY TRAFFIC. It is better to arrive an hour early that one minute late.

Try to get to know staff at the venue, if applicable.

OVERSEAS LOCATIONS

It is often a delightful privilege to be invited to deliver a Humanist celebration at an overseas location but there are some important points to be made.

Travel arrangements will often mean that you will not be available to take other ceremonies for an extended period.

The celebrant is likely to be involved with the couple, their families and friends for a more protracted period than other ceremonies.

The couple must understand from the outset that the celebrant’s costs have to be met in full. This includes:

o Cost of design and delivery of the ceremony as contracted.o All travel costs, including travel to and from UK airport/ferry port;

parking charges, flight or ferry costs, transfers, accommodation and food costs. Whilst a celebrant would not wish to place extortionate costs on the couple neither should they be expected to live and eat in poor locations.

PREPARATION

You need to give plenty of time to the preparation of the script - it’s not a job to be rushed whatever your style.

However, we can acknowledge some different approaches. Once furnished with sufficient material, some will be impatient to get started - by getting things down on paper - as soon as possible, while details of the meeting are still fresh in their mind. Others will want to mull over the material to hand. Given that the initial meeting often takes place some months before the event it is often worth getting the first draft prepared quite early on but not sending it to the couple until just a couple of months before the ceremony as it will have the sense of ‘gathering dust’ if finalised too soon.

When contemplating your finished efforts, try to imagine the script off the page. It must sound like you - and have the right tone for you. Equally, it must have the right balance of seriousness and lightness and reflect the wishes of the couple (e.g. in terms of degree of formality). It is a good exercise to read it out loud: not only can you time it, but it will also identify any clumsy prose, questionable punctuation, or particularly emotional passages that could trip you up on the day.



Most celebrants prefer the couple themselves to write their own statements of commitment, partly because they are the ones who have to make them real and partly as a preparation for marriage. There are plenty of examples in ‘Sharing the Future’ but you might like to give the couple extra guidance and examples.

Writing wedding vows: some ideas

You don’t have to exchange vows but they tend to be a very moving, powerful high point to any marriage ceremony. We always prefer couples to write their own vows because it has more sincerity, meaning and relevance. Many couples find it has been an important part in their preparation for marriage.

It might feel more appropriate for you to make declarations of love or commitment or to exchange promises or intentions.

There are three main ways for you to exchange vows:

1. For the celebrant to ask a question to which you respond ‘I do’, ‘I will’ or

‘We do’, ‘We will’. That works well if the couple are likely to feel nervous or

have quiet speaking voices.

2. For the celebrant to read the vow phrase by phrase which is then repeated

by the couple either individually or together. This has the advantage of

repeating the statement of commitment for the guests to hear but can

break up the vow in a way that reduces flow and understanding.

3. For the couple to read or recite from memory.

A mixture is always possible!

Don’t forget that partners don’t have to have the same vows. In fact,

the vows can be created separately and can be a complete surprise to

each of the partner on the day.



Some words to inspire:

Nouns

BEAUTY: attractiveness, charm, elegance, grace, loveliness

CHARM: attraction, fascination, glamour

CONSORT: companion, comrade, mate, partner, soul-mate, spouse

DELIGHT: enjoyment, gladness, happiness, joy, pleasure

DEVOTION: affection, attachment, fidelity, loyalty, dedication

DIGNITY: elegance, grace, stateliness

FOREVER: always, eternity, perpetuity

HAPPINESS: bliss, cheerfulness, contentment, delight, joyfulness

HOPE: faith, optimism, reliance, belief, desire, wish

JOY: bliss, delight, elation, gladness, happiness

LOYALTY: allegiance, constancy, devotion, faithfulness, fidelity

MARRIAGE: matrimony, nuptials, wedding, wedlock, bond, union

PROMISE: affirm, pledge, vow

RENEWAL: reaffirm, enliven, invigoration, regeneration, revival

RESPECT: admiration, appreciation, esteem, favour, honour, regard

SACRIFICE: dedication, devotion, offering

SINCERITY: candidness, candour, frankness, genuineness, honesty,

SPIRIT: being, heart, mind, psyche, soul, energy, life, verve

WISDOM: wise, insight, judgement, knowledge

Verbs

CHERISH: esteem, prize, treasure, cultivate, foster, nurture

HOPE: anticipate, await, count on, expect

INSPIRE: excite, exhilarate, motivate, stimulate, impress

MARRY: espouse, wed, combine, couple, hitch, mate, link, unite

PRIZE: appreciate, value, cherish

PROMISE: pledge, vow

RENEW: regenerate, restart, refresh, rekindle

RESPECT: honour, regard, value, admire

UNITE: connect, converge, join, meet, merge, unify

VALUE: assess, evaluate, rate, appreciate, prize



Adjectives

AFFECTIONATE: adoring, caring, considerate, devoted, loving

BEAUTIFUL: attractive, fair, lovely, stunning

DIVINE: godly, heavenly, glorious, wonderful, wondrous

ENDLESS: continual, eternal, perpetual, unceasing, unending, timeless

FAITHFUL: constant, steady, steadfast, true

FOND: affectionate, dear, devoted, loving

HAPPY: cheerful, glad, joyful, joyous, merry, pleased

HOPEFUL: hoping, optimistic, promising

INFINITE: endless, limitless, unbounded, immeasurable

MARRIED: marital, matrimonial, nuptial, spousal, wedded

NOBLE: august, royal, ethical, moral, virtuous, honourable

OPTIMISTIC: bright, sunny, upbeat, promising

PEACEFUL: placid, quiet, serene, still, undisturbed

PRICELESS: precious, inestimable, invaluable, valuable

SINCERE: genuine, honest, real, heartfelt

TOTAL: complete, entire, whole, absolute, pure, sheer, utter

UNCOMMON: extraordinary, scarce, unusual, rare, unique

UNCORRUPTED: ethical, principled, untarnished

UNDENIABLE: certain, incontestable, sure, undisputable

UNDYING: deathless, immortal, eternal, everlasting

UNFADING: enduring, lasting, undying, unfailing

UNIVERSAL: omnipresent, cosmic, global, worldwide

UNSELFISH: selfless, self-sacrificing

VIBRANT: intense, strong, vivid, dynamic, energetic, vigorous

VIRTUOUS: ethical, moral, noble, principled, pure, righteous

WARM: compassionate, sympathetic, tender, enthusiastic

WORTHY: capable, deserving, desirable, suited, honourable, noble



Adverbs

AFFECTIONATELY: dearly, devotedly, dotingly, fondly, lovingly

DIVINELY: blissfully, gloriously, splendidly, sublimely

ENDLESSLY: ceaselessly, constantly, forever, interminably

FAITHFULLY: devotedly, loyally

HAPPILY: blissfully, joyfully, joyously, cheerfully

ONLY: alone, entirely, exclusively, solely

SINCERELY: genuinely, honestly, really

TOTALLY: absolutely, completely, entirely, fully, purely, wholly

It is essential that you have the agreement and approval of the couple for the final script before the day.

4. REHEARSAL

As a general rule, it is preferable to have a rehearsal a day or two before the ceremony. This serves several purposes:

It gives the Celebrant an opportunity to reconnect with the couple and build on the relationship.

It ensures that the Celebrant knows exactly where the venue is and has identified parking.

It exposes problems with the venue; these can be many and you soon gain an eye for such concerns.

If most of the key people can attend that it helps form relationships with them.

Cues can be decided. This is essential as the ceremony cannot begin until the celebrant knows that the bride is ready and then she needs to know when to enter.

Decide on choreography. Readers can practise. It is strongly advised NOT to rehearse the vows, keep them special for

the day.

5. ON THE DAY

Arrival

Aim to arrive at least 30 minutes before your ceremony; such leeway serves two purposes. Firstly, it allows for unforeseen delays on your journey and will give you the peace-of-mind while travelling - arriving to conduct a ceremony in a state of agitation is neither advisable nor desirable.

Secondly, it will allow you time to acclimatise to the surroundings again, get tidy and comfortable, look over your script, spot any unforeseen problems and



liaise with the staff as well as identify key people – such as readers, musicians, etc. – you have been unable to meet previously.

It is good advice to have some water to hand in case you throat goes dry during the ceremony.

Dress

You should check with the couple how they would wish you to dress. Smart, plain and reasonably formal is the usual requirement but not always the case.

The celebrant has a formal role to play and that is often the best guideline to adopt.

It is good preparation to have a clean handkerchief to hand, for brides, grooms and those giving readings…it is often a very emotional day.

While dress is a personal matter we are representing the British Humanist Association and should not be open to criticism.

You may wear something bearing the Humanist symbol, (such as a tie or badge/pin).

Preliminaries

Do not invite the ushers to direct the guests to the ceremony location until you know that the bride and bridesmaids, etc. are ready. Equally, do not have the guests gathered/seated too soon; five minutes before the start of the ceremony is about right.

Also, it is worth trying to ascertain if there are guests delayed by travelling.

In some more informal weddings you may need to take charge in order to begin proceedings.

It is advisable to speak to the guests before the arrival of the bride. This gives the guests an opportunity to get “tuned in” to your voice and allows time to make announcements such as asking guests to turn of mobile ‘phones (important issues but not the sort of thing that should be part of the actual ceremony). This is also a time when a brief (i.e. one paragraph) explanation of humanism can be given but this should not be taken as an opportunity to recruit.

The Ceremony



It is customary to ask the guests to stand to greet the bride.

Once the ceremony is under way, you take charge of all matters relating to the process of the ceremony and its timing. A strong unhurried start is most desirable, and the whole event should have a sense of calm dignity with a lightness of touch and gentle humour where appropriate.

Minor distractions may well occur during the ceremony, and you may need to make judgements about how such distractions are affecting the dignity of the proceedings (a child crying or misbehaving, or someone taken ill, are obvious examples).

Those who are already used to conducting funeral ceremonies may be surprised at the depth of emotion expressed at a wedding ceremony, not least of all by the couple themselves. Be prepared to be a steadying influence and take over readings if necessary. Remember you can smile more than you would at a funeral.

Consumption of alcohol in advance of the ceremony by the guests and/or participants can also cause problems.

More awkward situations may develop but they are uncommon and each will have to be dealt with on its merits. The best advice is simply to keep calm and dignified and, where possible, use light humour to avoid greater difficulties.

Conclusion

As the ceremony moves towards its conclusion it is advisable to tell guests what will be happening next and then have a point at which the ceremony has clearly come to an end. Often this moment is marked by the couple processing through their guests with music playing and a general sense of celebration, but it needs to be thought about to prevent the ceremony simply fizzling out.

It is quite common for guests to wish to speak with the celebrant after the ceremony, often with praise, and sometimes to glean further information about humanism. It is helpful to have cards and leaflets available.

A glass of champagne, a last farewell and word of congratulation to the bride and groom and that is usually the time to quietly depart. You may be invited to attend the reception on some occasions; the choice is up to the celebrant if the offer is made.

It is probably wisest to settle the celebrant’s payment at the rehearsal, as the day of the ceremony is not the time to be chasing cheques.

ATTENDING A MEETING WITH THE COUPLE AS AN OBSERVER



Wherever possible it would be helpful for trainees to attend a meeting between their mentor and a couple planning a wedding ceremony.

All experienced celebrants adopt their own methods and style to secure the information and guidance they seek in helping them prepare a ceremony that will be accurate in detail and appropriate in tone. At the outset of the meeting, which depending on circumstances could vary in length from one to two hours, it is important to establish what degree of formality is called for and, in general terms, what kind of ceremony the couple wish to have. Remember that it is their day and they may have some firm ideas about what is planned so invite their ideas first. Equally they may be seeking a lot of guidance from the celebrant.

Some of the thoughts to consider

Where is the ceremony to be held? If it’s outside then what are the wet weather alternative plans?

How will the ceremony begin? Will the bride enter in a traditional manner?

Are there bridesmaids and other attendants? If so how old are they? Very young ones often need support and encouragement on the day.

Who operates the music or is it live? If it’s live then where will the musicians be placed? (string quartets will require shade to stop the instruments being affected by direct heat)

Is the site accessible for those with mobility problems? Are there any guests who have seeing, hearing or behavioural difficulties, etc.?

Will guests, the couple and/or the celebrant be in direct sunshine? Will this be distractingly uncomfortable?

This list cannot be exhaustive and each venue/ceremony requires some consideration for the unique problems that will be posed.



MUSIC FOR WEDDINGS

Music usually plays a significant part to wedding ceremonies. Couples often have particular pieces that are significant to them. They may, however, seek advice from the celebrant. This notes offer some guidance…they are not strict rules but they may help to avoid some pitfalls.

In common with other aspects of wedding ceremonies, you may find yourself having to “take charge” of the music on the day. Don’t be afraid of pointing out likely problems…couples will be grateful for your advice; for many this will be the first ceremony they’ve organised. It may only be your second or even third but they will think you’ve done hundreds.

How much music is needed?

Consider using music for the following:

Background pieces whilst guests gather at the location of the ceremony. This may be as much as 10 – 15 minutes.

Music for the entry of the bride. This assumes a traditional “entrance” which remains the most common but there are variations.

Music as an integral part of the ceremony, particularly if there is a strong singing tradition within the family and guests or if a guest/professional musician is delivering a piece as part of the ceremony.

Music for the couple to exit the ceremony. This is often more upbeat and may, indeed, be humorous.

There may then be music playing whilst the couple have some photographs taken.

What are the common choices of music?

There really are few guidelines here as couples seem willing to choose almost anything. There are some pieces that you might question with them…they may be attracted by lines or refrains in a song but the whole piece may well be inappropriate.



What is the best way of creating the music?

Many ceremonies have live musicians. Harps, flutes, strings and singers seem the most often used. Live music invariably adds another layer of intensity to the ceremony but there are things to be considered. You are unlikely to meet the musicians before the ceremony so it is important to discuss the ceremony with them thoroughly on the day. It is helpful to have a working copy of the script to give to the musicians….or anyone involved in providing the music (DJ, friend).

Live music is not always successful in outdoor settings…careful consideration of instruments is important. A flute is likely to be lost on a windy cliff top; bagpipes are powerful outdoor instruments but certainly not everyone’s choice.

If recorded music is being used then CDs are usually best. Do try to rehearse all the music cues before the actual ceremony. Despite the best efforts of enthusiastic helpers, amateur sound systems can sound awful and many budding DJs have incredible trouble cueing the right track at the right time. Never assume that professional DJs will be spot on either – like musicians, they are unlikely to be at the rehearsal so careful briefing and a script is essential.

Again, recorded music can be lost outdoors, it is important to position speakers carefully.

What is most likely to go wrong?

Well, almost anything really….so stay flexible, keep a light sense of humour and if something does go awry, do not be afraid to call a halt, sort the problem and then proceed again if it is practicable. The couple will be far more grateful that you took charge and corrected a minor problem rather than just letting it snowball into a catastrophe (and that’s what they’ll remember it as).

Getting and giving cues can be a problem. Brief individuals to be responsible for particular signals and try to practise.

It is always useful to have a compilation CD with you. You may not have the actual track that was expected but there are substitutes that may well be acceptable in those circumstances where the promised CD is still in a CD player at someone’s house and an empty case has been brought to the ceremony.

Couples may want to have everyone singing which can be really exhilarating….if everyone sings….but remember that as a society we don’t sing much together, we don’t know the words of many of the standards and many pieces can sound dirge-like if they’re not sung with real gusto.



Finally

Although this section has concentrated on pitfalls, as with so much of our ceremonies, most of the time the music will go without a hitch. It really does enhance the ceremony and the more information you can give the couple in the planning stage, the greater the confidence they will have in you.



HOMEWORK following Part 3 Technical Training – Weddings

Write a suitable wedding script for Kelly and Andy, with suggestions for music and two poems; the ceremony should be about twenty minutes long. Think about the problems that the venue might pose: some annotations to the script might be appropriate. What would you look for at the rehearsal? If there are any details you need which are not in the synopsis below, then be creative! Follow the guidance given on scripts in this manual.

CELEBRANT’S NOTES ON ANDY AND KELLY

1. Wedding mid-June in a garden, hired for the purpose, about 50 guests, formal dress, music will be on CD and it is hoped that a friend, Danni, will sing in the middle of the ceremony. There is a fountain in the centre of the garden and the couple will stand fairly near to it for the ceremony.

2. Andy and Kelly both work in catering; he is currently landlord of a pub in central London, they live above this pub and she is waitress in a nearby casual tourist restaurant.

3. Andy has family in Spain, he has not seen his father for years. Mum will travel from Spain and there are some elderly family members still in the UK who will attend. Andy went to a choir school. Kelly is from Australia, and family will come over for the wedding: probably only one day before the event. Bridesmaids are Kelly’s friends: Julia (21) and Roxanne (23). There is a Flower Girl, Jessica, who is three. The Best Man is Andy’s brother, Rob. About half the guests will be friends.

4. They met in a pub in the City, when he was a customer, she the bar-maid: he was smitten. They have known each other now for about a year and will have known each other about 18 months when the ceremony takes place.

5. They are both free spirits who like travelling, do not have worries about the future, intend to have a family: Andy wants to be very involved in bringing up his children. They care for each other deeply and want to share in each other’s hopes and dreams.

6. They will register their marriage two days before.

Please send a WORKING copy of your script to your designated tutor within two weeks of completion of the residential training course.

A satisfactory script is required before you can be recommended to proceed further within the BHA accreditation scheme.



The British Humanist Association would like to congratulate

****************&

**************On the occasion of their wedding

On DATE at TIMEat

PLACE

……………………………………………………………… …… ……………………………………………………………………….

Celebrant : ……………………………………………………………………..

The British Humanist Association is a Registered Charity No. 2859871 Gower St London WC1E 6HD Tel: 020 7079 3580.


structure of a wedding ceremonysidmennt.is/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/2007_wedding_… · web...

Documents