study finds more reasons to get and stay married - nytimes.com

Study Finds More Reasons to Get and Stay Married - NYTimes.com

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/08/upshot/study-finds-more-reasons-to-get-and-stay-married.html?_r=1&abt=0002&abg=0[1/19/2015 5:51:25 PM]

Claire CainMiller

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A new economics paper has some old-fashioned advice for peoplenavigating the stresses of life: Find a spouse who is also your best friend.

Social scientists have long known that married people tend to be happier,but they debate whether that is because marriage causes happiness orsimply because happier people are more likely to get married. The newpaper, published by the National Bureau of Economic Research, controlledfor pre-marriage happiness levels.

It concluded that being married makes people happier and more satisfiedwith their lives than those who remain single particularly during themost stressful periods, like midlife crises.

Even as fewer people are marrying, the disadvantages of remaining singlehave broad implications. Its important because marriage is increasingly aforce behind inequality. Stable marriages are more common amongeducated, high-income people, and increasingly out of reach for those whoare not. That divide appears to affect not just peoples income and familystability, but also their happiness and stress levels.

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RECENT COMMENTS

Holly Stovall 10 days agoSo what? More people should get married? Toobad for you if you didn't find spouse or if it didn'twork? Is marriage to be proselytized? ...

GApple 10 days ago

A quarter of todays young adults will have never married by 2030, whichwould be the highest share in modern history, according to the PewResearch Center. Yet both remaining unmarried and divorcing are morecommon among less-educated, lower-income people. Educated, high-income people still marry at high rates and are less likely to divorce.

Those whose lives are most difficult could benefit most from marriage,according to the economists who wrote the new paper, John Helliwell ofthe Vancouver School of Economics and Shawn Grover of the CanadianDepartment of Finance. Marriage may be most important when there isthat stress in life and when things are going wrong, Mr. Grover said.

They analyzed data about well-being from two national surveys in theUnited Kingdom and the Gallup World Poll. In all but a few parts of theworld, even when controlling for peoples life satisfaction before marriage,being married made them happier. This conclusion, however, did not holdtrue in Latin America, South Asia and sub-Saharan Africa.

Intriguingly, marital happiness long outlasted the honeymoon period.Though some social scientists have argued that happiness levels are innate,so people return to their natural level of well-being after joyful or upsettingevents, the researchers found that the benefits of marriage persist.

One reason for that might be the role of friendship within marriage. Thosewho consider their spouse or partner to be their best friend get about twiceas much life satisfaction from marriage as others, the study found.

The effect of friendship seems to be the result of living with a romanticpartner, rather than the legal status of being married, because it was asstrong for people who lived together but werent married. Women benefitmore from being married to their best friend than men do, though womenare less likely to regard their spouse as their best friend.

What immediately intrigued me about the results was to rethink marriageas a whole, Mr. Helliwell said. Maybe what is really important isfriendship, and to never forget that in the push and pull of daily life.

Marriage has undergone a drastic shift in the last half century. In the past,as the Nobel-winning economist Gary Becker described, marriage wasutilitarian: Women looked for a husband to make money and men looked

Tamara Shopsin
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Was single for enough decades to have had myturn (and then some) - at various times happy andunhappy. Am currently married - variously...

Kimberly 10 days agoMy husband and I were friends before we begandating. We remain friends who care about thecomplete well-being of one another to this day,...

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for a woman to manage the household.

But in recent decades, the roles of men and women have become moresimilar. As a result, spouses have taken on roles as companions andconfidants, particularly those who are financially stable, as the economistsBetsey Stevenson and Justin Wolfers have discussed.

The benefits of marital friendship are most vivid during middle age, whenpeople tend to experience a dip in life satisfaction, largely because careerand family demands apply the most stress then. Those who are married,the new paper found, have much shallower dips even in regions wheremarriage does not have an overall positive effect.

The biggest benefits come in high-stress environments, and people whoare married can handle midlife stress better than those who arent becausethey have a shared load and shared friendship, Mr. Helliwell said.

Overall, the research comes to a largely optimistic conclusion. People havethe capacity to increase their happiness levels and avoid falling deep intomidlife crisis by finding support in long-term relationships. Yet thoserelationships seem to be less achievable for the least advantaged membersof society.

The Upshot provides news, analysis and graphics about politics, policy and everydaylife. Follow us on Facebook and Twitter. Sign up for our weekly newsletter here.

A version of this article appears in print on January 8, 2015, on page A3 of the New York edition with theheadline: Study Finds More Reasons to Get and Stay Married. Order Reprints | Today's Paper | Subscribe

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