Sugar & SpiceSugar & SpiceDealing with Girl Dealing with Girl

Bullies Bullies and Relational and Relational

AggressionAggressionRowan SeymourRowan Seymour

Rowan Seymour

Suspensions by GenderSuspensions by Gender

FEMALE14%

MALE86%

80% of suspensions over the past 4 years resulted from issues with interpersonal conflict.

• directed profanity

• opposition to authority

• threats

• harassment

• assault

Rowan Seymour

Reported IncidentsReported Incidents

Female

Male

Female

Male

Female

Male

0

5

10

15

20

25

30

35

40

45

Harassment Threats Assault

Rowan Seymour

What parents need to know What parents need to know about Relational about Relational

Aggression in girls…Aggression in girls…

Current Thinking on BullyingCurrent Thinking on Bullying Boy Bullies & Girl BulliesBoy Bullies & Girl Bullies How Relational Aggression WorksHow Relational Aggression Works How to Stop Relational AggressionHow to Stop Relational Aggression How to Prevent Relational How to Prevent Relational

AggressionAggression

Rowan Seymour

What is Bullying?What is Bullying?

Dr. Dan OlewusDr. Dan Olewus Overt Aggression (physical, verbal, Overt Aggression (physical, verbal,

social)social) Directed Directed Pattern of behaviourPattern of behaviour Negative intentNegative intent Power imbalancePower imbalance

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Name that BullyName that Bully

Name your bullyName your bully

Tell your storyTell your story

Name your emotionsName your emotions

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Boy Bullies Girl Boy Bullies Girl BulliesBullies

Relational Relational AggressionAggression peer group peer group

involvementinvolvement indirect harassment indirect harassment

emotional intimidationemotional intimidation indirect confrontationindirect confrontation no resolutionno resolution

protracted time linesprotracted time lines social-emotional risksocial-emotional risk

Physical Physical AggressionAggression 1 on 1 conflict1 on 1 conflict direct threatdirect threat

physical intimidationphysical intimidation public confrontationpublic confrontation physical resolutionphysical resolution

short time linesshort time lines physical riskphysical risk

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Dr. Nicki Crick, Dr. Nicki Crick, University of University of MinnesotaMinnesota

Relational AggressionRelational Aggression - harming - harming others by damaging their peer others by damaging their peer relationships and feelings of relationships and feelings of social inclusionsocial inclusion

Learned at an early ageLearned at an early age Develops in complexity and riskDevelops in complexity and risk Reinforcement of social-behaviour Reinforcement of social-behaviour

patternspatterns

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Relational aggression is not linked with Relational aggression is not linked with

socio-economic statussocio-economic status Boys are also relationally aggressive Boys are also relationally aggressive Relational aggressionRelational aggression is stableis stable Children who are the frequent victims Children who are the frequent victims

of relational aggression feel rejected, of relational aggression feel rejected, depressed, and submissivedepressed, and submissive

Children who are highly relationally Children who are highly relationally aggressive feel lonely and depressedaggressive feel lonely and depressed

Nicole WernerNicole Werner,, University of University of

MinnesotaMinnesota

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0 10 20 30 40 50 60 70 80 90 100

1. I have been in a physical fight

2. I have been in trouble with the law

3. I consider myself to be aggressive

4. I consider myself to be intimidating to others

5. I have ditched some of my friends

6. I have used harmful language when I am upset (eg. Bitch)

7. I pass notes that say mean or hurtful things

8. I laugh at or make fun of people, even if I think it's mean

9. I have had people turn on me or ditch me

9b. It had an effect on me

10. I feel afraid to come to school

11. I think that aggression is a problem that affects most young women

gr. 7&8 gr. 9&10

Aggression Survey Aggression Survey ResultsResults

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How Relational Aggression How Relational Aggression WorksWorks

Labelling Labelling body image, trust, sexuality, body image, trust, sexuality,

maturitymaturity SeparationSeparation Misinformation Misinformation

gossip, notes, texting, MSNgossip, notes, texting, MSN IntimidationIntimidation

looks, laughter, exclusion, jeer-looks, laughter, exclusion, jeer-leaders, bumping, threats, etc. leaders, bumping, threats, etc.

IsolationIsolation OstracismOstracism

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The Snowball Model The Snowball Model of Relational Aggressionof Relational Aggression

Critical Mass

Bystander Involvement

Recruitment

Third Party Involvement

Causative Incident

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The Snowball Model The Snowball Model of Relational Aggressionof Relational Aggression

Critical Mass

Bystander Involvement

Recruitment

Third Party Involvement

Causative Incident

HELP!

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NEW BRUNSWICK SNIPER NEW BRUNSWICK SNIPER INJURES 14YR. OLD IN INJURES 14YR. OLD IN

ONTARIOONTARIO MSN chat text Oct. 22/04MSN chat text Oct. 22/04 “…who do you think “…who do you think

you are talking about brenda when she isnt even you are talking about brenda when she isnt even your friend you bitch im just telling you what your friend you bitch im just telling you what people are saying about you and they say your people are saying about you and they say your making up lies in your retarded head now every making up lies in your retarded head now every body hates you and you have no friends.”body hates you and you have no friends.”

from Amy’s ex-boyfriend’s sister’s boyfriend’s from Amy’s ex-boyfriend’s sister’s boyfriend’s sister who is 15 yrs old and lives in N.B.. She has sister who is 15 yrs old and lives in N.B.. She has never met Amy.never met Amy.

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Mean GirlsMean Girls

““Last year I was the toughest girl in the Last year I was the toughest girl in the school. What I really wanted was for school. What I really wanted was for people to like me but I was afraid. So I people to like me but I was afraid. So I made them respect me or I’d turn their made them respect me or I’d turn their friends against them. People knew it was friends against them. People knew it was better to be my friend than my enemy.” better to be my friend than my enemy.”

– – BrendaBrenda

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How can you stop How can you stop Relational Aggression?Relational Aggression?

One at a timeOne at a time Empathic approach (focus on feelings)Empathic approach (focus on feelings) Identify Identify allall the players and the pattern the players and the pattern Agree on universal valuesAgree on universal values

We all deserve to feel safe and happyWe all deserve to feel safe and happy We all deserve to have good friendshipsWe all deserve to have good friendships This is a pattern that needs to stop. Now.This is a pattern that needs to stop. Now.

The Magic WordsThe Magic Words AccountabilityAccountability

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How can we prevent How can we prevent Relational Aggression?Relational Aggression?

Emotional EducationEmotional Education Building Better FriendshipsBuilding Better Friendships Supportive ConsequencesSupportive Consequences Support for Individuals Support for Individuals Support for Peer GroupSupport for Peer Group

Rowan Seymour

Risk Factors & Protective Risk Factors & Protective FactorsFactors

History of aggressive behaviourHistory of aggressive behaviour Trouble with the lawTrouble with the law Prior victim of bullyingPrior victim of bullying Personality and behaviour (conduct Personality and behaviour (conduct

disorder)disorder) Substance use / abuseSubstance use / abuse Academic history Academic history Family support / supervisionFamily support / supervision Peer influence (+ / -)Peer influence (+ / -) Recreational involvementRecreational involvement

Rowan Seymour

What do adolescent girls What do adolescent girls need?need?

A ‘Girls Only’ SpaceA ‘Girls Only’ Space Love, Trust, and Validation from Caring Love, Trust, and Validation from Caring

AdultsAdults Positive Role ModelsPositive Role Models To BelongTo Belong To Feel Competent and WorthyTo Feel Competent and Worthy Redefine ‘Friendships’ as safe, Redefine ‘Friendships’ as safe,

comforting, nurturing, trusting, and comforting, nurturing, trusting, and acceptingaccepting

Rowan Seymour

Building a Safe & Caring Building a Safe & Caring CommunityCommunity

Physical,Psychological & Social Safety

Cooperation

Respect, Consideration,

Empathy

Choices & Consequences

Rights & Responsibilities

Effective Communication

Skills

Positive Relationships

Physical,Psychological & Social Safety

Cooperation

Respect, Consideration,

Empathy

Choices & Consequences

Rights & Responsibilities

Effective Communication

Skills

Positive Relationships

Rowan Seymour

SuggesteSuggested d

ResourceResourcess

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On Line ResourcesOn Line Resources

www.ocdsb.edu.on.caSafe and Caring Schools

Sugar & SpiceSugar & SpiceDealing with Girl Dealing with Girl

Bullies Bullies and Relational and Relational

AggressionAggressionRowan SeymourRowan Seymour