superself 101 interpersonal communication tips

7/28/2019 SuperSelf 101 Interpersonal Communication Tips

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E-BOOK SERIESAdvanced Interpersonal

Communication Skills

INTERPERSONALCOMMUNICATIONINTERPERSONALCOMMUNICATION

101 TIPS

Maximisingyour relat ionship

building effect ivenessYour best investment is yourself


2/17

101Interpersonal

Communicat ion Tips

We communicate wit h others in every aspect of our l ives.

How many of us have every been taught how to be highly effective

in the communicat ion process or howdifferent people have different ways of

hearing, seeing and feeling?

Effective communicators are powerful

vehicles for change in organisations,

families and the wider community.

We have compiled 101 simple and

highly effect iveInterpersonal

Communicat ion Tips that you can put

into practice immediately and

experience the positive impact these

Tips have on your communication

and ultimately your relationships.

Your best investment is yourselfNetw ork Mat ters Australia SuperSelf

ABN 44 086 516 010 Copyright 2005

E-Book SeriesAdvanced Interpersonal Communication Skills


3/17

Welcome

I have created this guide for you for the purposeof enhancing your interpersonal communicationskills toolkit for improved personal and businessrelationships with others.

The tips in this guide are a result of substantial

research, coaching clients and training groups ofpeople over many years.

I encourage you to put these interpersonalcommunication strategies into action and experiencethe amazing results you will get.

I wish you all the success you desire!

Mark

101 Interpersonal Communication Tips

Mark CoburnWorkshop Program Director

and Facilitator,Business/Executive

Coach

Your best investment is yourselfNetwork Matters Australia SuperSelf

ABN 44 086 516 010 Copyright 2005

1


4/17

________________________________________________________

1. Build rapport by matching t he persons behaviourYou can match some of the words they say, how they speak and

their body language. People find it easier to get along with

someone who is similar to them.________________________________________________________

2. Match behaviour without mimicking

It is import ant to learn how to match someones behaviour without

mimicking them. The art of matching is to engage similar behaviour

without copying them. Otherwise they may think you are making

fun of them.

________________________________________________________3. Show an interest in the person

People like to tell others about t hemselves and what t hey do. It is

also important for you to learn about them, so you can better

understand their needs and how you can help them.________________________________________________________

4. Show appreciation and respect

Everyone likes to be respected and appreciated. Expressing

appreciation goes a long way to developing trust and rapport .________________________________________________________

5. Develop a solid platform of rapport and understandingof someones needs before suggesting an idea or solution.________________________________________________________

6. Develop your rapport building skills by focusing on one rapport

building technique at a time

When you have mastered one, you can start developing the next.________________________________________________________

7. Test for rapport by observing the other persons

behaviour

For example, if you are in rapport with someone, they may cross

their legs after you have just crossed yours.________________________________________________________

8. Communicate face to face with someone as much as practicable

This is because up to 100% of effect ive communicat ion is available

to you in this situation. Effective communication comprises of the

words we use (7%), how we use our voice (38%) and body lan-

guage we reveal (55%).________________________________________________________

9. During written communication, be very precise in articulating

exactly what you mean to sayThe reason this is important is because only 7% of highly effective

communication is the words you use, so they must be good.________________________________________________________

101 Interpersonal Communicat ion Tips

A wise man will make more

opportunities than he finds.

Francis Bacon

Your best investment is yourselfNetw ork Matters Australia SuperSelf

ABN 44 086 516 010 Copyright 2005

2


5/17

________________________________________________________

10. Ask a quality question to get a quality answer

The more specific you can be with your question, the more likely

you are to get an accurate answer.________________________________________________________

11. Start the conversation with easy to answer questionsFor example, Hi Joe, how are you today? Do you have a

moment?________________________________________________________

12. Paraphrase to confirm your understanding

In your own words, summarise what the other person has said.________________________________________________________

13. Use I statements when speaking about your own thoughts or

experience

Take ownership of what you are saying. Avoid using you state-

ments in these situations.________________________________________________________

14. Let t he other person finish their sentence or communicat ion

Avoid interrupting someone while they are still talking, unless you

have very good reason to do so._____________________________________________________________

15. Clarify any assumptions or uncertainty you are holding

If you are uncertain about someones message, ask questions to

eliminate any possible incorrect assumptions you may be making._____________________________________________________________

16. Acknowledge the achievements of t he other person

People like t o be acknowledged as it g ives them a reality check

and someone elses point of view on how they are doing._____________________________________________________________

17. Obtain specificity from generalisations

If you feel the other person is being too general in what they are

saying, ask them to be more specific._____________________________________________________________

18. Emphasize key words when speaking

You can become a more effective communicator by emphasising

key words in the conversation. This makes it easier for the otherperson to get the essence of what you are saying.________________________________________________________


" SuperSelfs Advanced

Interpersonal Communication

Workshophas expanded and

focused my communication

abilities as well as giving me

a better understanding of

myself. I am now better

equipped to tailor my

interaction with prospects

and clients, making it more

relevant to them."Clint McKauge, Accuity


ABN 44 086 516 010 Copyright 2005

3

Mark Coburn is an interpersonal communications specialist and

workshop facilitator. If you would like him to present at your event,or you require more information, email us with your details.

[email protected]


6/17

________________________________________________________

19. Match the other persons tone of voiceIf you are speaking to someone who has a higher pitched voice

than you, raise the frequency of your voice (without mimicking) to

get closer to their level._____________________________________________________________

20. Match the other persons speaking speed

Some people naturally talk faster than others. For someone who

speaks slow it can become frustrating if the other person is

speaking fast._____________________________________________________________

21. Match the loudness of the other persons voiceA soft -spoken person is most likely to be more recept ive to

someone else who is also soft speaking._____________________________________________________________

22. Pause occasionally while speaking

This gives the other person time to think about what you are say-

ing. It also makes the delivery of your message more interesting._____________________________________________________________

23. Match voice quality

Does the person have a clear sounding or raspy voice? Matching

quality of their voice can be a little more challenging. You may

need to pract ice this. Be careful not to mimic._____________________________________________________________

24. Be confident by maintaining upright body posture

Get your posture right and youll start feeling better almost

instantly._____________________________________________________________

25. Maintain eye contact approximately 65% of t he time

This insures you are showing an interest without over intimidating

the other person._____________________________________________________________

26. Match handshake strengthYou should get an indicat ion as soon as you meet someone as to

how strong or soft your handshake should be. Trust your

intuit ion here._____________________________________________________________


The most important key to

achieving great success

is to decide upon your goal

and launch,

get started,

take action,

move.

Brian Tracy


ABN 44 086 516 010 Copyright 2005

4

Mark Coburn is a business and executive coach.

If you are a business owner, corporate manager or executive

and would like to learn more about how he will coach you

to success, email us with your details at

[email protected]


7/17

_____________________________________________________________

27. Smile with your whole faceA real smile is revealed when your whole face changes. This

includes the muscles around the eyes and the impression that your

eyes are smiling as well as your mouth._____________________________________________________________

28. Match arm postures that lead t o positive situations

For example, matching someone by placing your hand under

your chin could show you are thinking about what the other

person is saying._____________________________________________________________

29. Match leg postures that lead t o positive situationsFor example, matching someone by crossing your legs with your

ankle resting on your knee encourages open communication._____________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________30. Tilt your head t o show interest

An occasional head tilt shows the other person that you are

interested in what they are saying._____________________________________________________________

31. Express honesty with open hands

When speaking to someone maintain an open hand posture that

encourages open communication._____________________________________________________________

32. Greet a visual person by saying

It s nice to see you todayThe key word here is see. This will focus their thoughts

towards seeing you and most likely replying by saying something

remarkably similar._____________________________________________________________

33. Show visual people what it is you are communicat ing

Show them pictures or diagrams so they can see it on paper or

describe it to t hem so t hey can see it with their minds eye._____________________________________________________________

34. Gesture your message to visual people

If you are talking to a visual person use gestures to give them avisual aid to support what you are saying.________________________________________________________


" This workshop has given

me confidence in determining

the diff erent learning modes

and personality types. It has

enabled me to provide

better assistance to my

work colleagues and clients

in relation t o negotiation

and mentoring."

Belinda Giles, Boeing


ABN 44 086 516 010 Copyright 2005

5

Mark Coburn is an interpersonal communications specialist

and workshop facilitator. If you would like him to present at

your event, or you require more information,

email us with your details at

[email protected]


8/17

________________________________________________________

35. Dont give too many verbal instructions to a visual personVisual people get challenged when it comes to remembering verbal

instructions. Remember, paint the picture and allow them to see it._____________________________________________________________

36. Be well dressed and groomed when you meet

a visual person

They like others who are neat, t idy and well organized._____________________________________________________________

37. Maintain good eye to eye contact w ith a visual person

A visual person will want to see you eye to eye. This helps them

focus their communications with you._____________________________________________________________

38. Take a visual person to nice places

They get stimulated by fully engaging their visual senses amongst

pleasant and colorful surroundings._____________________________________________________________

39. Farewell a visual person by saying Ill see you later

The visual word here that they will relate to is see._____________________________________________________________

40. Greet an auditory person by saying Its nice to hear the sound

of your voice

The key word here is hear. This will allow them to tune into theirauditory receptors._____________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________

41. Explain what it is you are saying t o an auditory person

They are good listeners and need to hear what you have to say.

Talk to them, clearly art iculat ing the words of your desired

communication._____________________________________________________________

42. Modulate the tone of your voice when speaking to an

auditory personIt s important that what you say sounds interesting as well as the

actual information itself.________________________________________________________


You are your greatest asset.

Put your time,

effort and money

into t raining, grooming,

and encouraging your

greatest asset.

Tom Hopkins


ABN 44 086 516 010 Copyright 2005

6

For more information about the 4 diff erent learning modes

(visual, auditory, kinesthetic and auditory digital) and how to

discern which is the preferred mode of another person,

enquire about our Advanced Interpersonal Communication

Skills eCourse.

Email us today with your details at

[email protected]


9/17

_____________________________________________________________

43. Let auditory people talkThey like to be heard. We have two ears and only one mouth.

Listen to them and hear what it is they are saying to you._____________________________________________________________

44. Ask an auditory person what music they like

They may even appreciate background music playing while you are

with them._____________________________________________________________

45. Praise auditory people verbally

Thank them by telling them either in person or over the telephone.

They like to hear your acknowledgement._____________________________________________________________

46. Farewell an auditory person by saying Ill talk to you later

The auditory word here that they will relate to is talk._____________________________________________________________

47. Connect w ith a kinesthetic person by saying How are you

feeling tod ay

The key word here is feeling. This will support them to tap into

their feelings._____________________________________________________________

48. Speak relat ively slowly to a kinesthetic person

so they can feel what you are saying._____________________________________________________________

49. Speak with feeling t o a kinesthetic person

They will respond well to you if they feel a heart to heart

connection._____________________________________________________________

50. Demonstrate your point t o a kinesthetic person with a

practical example

They like to take a hands on approach so it is easy for them torelate to a tactile experience._____________________________________________________________

51. Be empathetic towards a kinesthet ic persons feelings

by saying I appreciate how you feel about the situation._____________________________________________________________

52. Physically reward a kinesthetic person

This could be by means of a gift, a pat on the back or a handshake._____________________________________________________________

53. Allow a kinesthet ic person to stand in your personal space

This is because they have a need to get a feel for you at anenergetic level to help them connect and build rapport.________________________________________________________


" TheAdvanced Interpersonal


workshop has given me the

benefit of being able to bet-

ter deal with t he different

personality types. I would

recommend this workshop

because it really explains

a solid foundation to the

sales process."

Robert Bauman,

Count Wealth Accountants


ABN 44 086 516 010 Copyright 2005

7


10/17

_____________________________________________________________

54. Farewell a kinesthet ic person by saying Ill catch you laterThe kinesthetic word here that t hey will relate to is catch._____________________________________________________________

55. Provide a detailed account of a situation to an auditory

digital person

These people like lots of information so they can formulate their

understanding._____________________________________________________________

56. Make sure you make sense of a situat ion when communicating

with an auditory digital person

They need to figure it all out so it needs to make sense._____________________________________________________________

57. Take notes when you are communicat ing with an auditory

digital person

This gives them an indication you are keeping an accurate record

of the situation._____________________________________________________________

58. Communicate your message in a sequent ial or logical way to an

auditory digital person

These people process and memorise information in sequences._____________________________________________________________

59. Give an auditory digital person something interest ing to

consider

These people like mental stimulation and something to

think about._____________________________________________________________

60. Ask an auditory digital person What are your thoughts?

Create an opportunity for them to reflect on the situation and

share their thoughts.

_____________________________________________________________


The future depends on what

we do in the present.

Mahatma Gandhi


ABN 44 086 516 010 Copyright 2005

8

To learn how to discern which is the primary personality

type of another person (dominant, inspiring, steady or

conscientious), enquire about our

Advanced Interpersonal Communication

Skills eCourse or our

Personality Profiling service.

Email us today with your details at

[email protected]


11/17

________________________________________________________

61. Learn t o understand and auditory d igital persons perspective

on a situation

Ask them quest ions, be t houghtful, be curious and be

the discoverer._____________________________________________________________

62. Allow an auditory digital person to question the situation

Questioning allows them t o formulate a precise understanding._____________________________________________________________

63. Farewell an auditory digital person by saying

I am really appreciative of this experience

The auditory Digital words here that t hey will relate to are

appreciative and experience._____________________________________________________________

64. Be direct and straight to t he point wit h dominant people

The dominant personality t ype respects this type of approach._____________________________________________________________

65. Be decisive with dominant people

They dont like wast ing t ime or t ime wasters.

_____________________________________________________________

66. Set a clear purpose at t he beginning of the discussion with a

dominant person

This also shows your decisiveness and leadership which will earn

you respect._____________________________________________________________

67. Show a dominant person how they can be successful

The dominant personality type is highly motivated by results

and success.

_____________________________________________________________68. Be clear, concise and time efficient when communicating with a

dominant person._____________________________________________________________

69. Provide a dominant person with clear choices

The dominant personality type has a need to be in charge.

Providing clear and concise choices leads them t owards making a

decisive decision._____________________________________________________________

70. Focus any disagreements you may have with a dominant personbased on the facts._____________________________________________________________


" I have gained some solid

skills to apply to strengthen-

ing client relationships and

building sound new ones. As

a result of this workshop, I

have an increased under-

standing on how to max-

imise client business through

better understanding how

they operate as individuals.

The workshop was fun, prac-

tical and educational."

Tricia Quan, ImpactPR.


ABN 44 086 516 010 Copyright 2005

9


12/17

________________________________________________________

71. Mot ivate a dominant person by being energetic and illustrating

the bott om line

The dominant personality type will need to get the sense that you

are energetic and driven towards showing them the end goal._____________________________________________________________

72. Do what you say you are going to do with a dominant person

You must demonstrate the ability to follow through on the task at

hand, otherwise you may lose trust and respect with the dominant

personality type._____________________________________________________________

73. Greet an inspiring person by saying I am thrilled to meet you.

The key word here for the inspiring personality type is thrilled._____________________________________________________________

74. Have fun when interacting with an inspiring person

The inspiring personality type likes fun, entertainment and

enjoyment._____________________________________________________________

75. Acknowledge the accomplishments of an inspiring person

This personality type thrives on recognition._____________________________________________________________

76. Be animated when speaking t o an inspiring person

You need to keep up t he level of interest with the inspiring

personality type. They sometimes have a tendency to get bored

during a conversation._____________________________________________________________

77. Make an impression with an inspiring person._____________________________________________________________

78. Focus on the goals of an inspiring person

The facts and figures can be boring to the inspiring personality

type, so keep them focused on the positive consequences of theirfuture accomplishments._____________________________________________________________

79. Interact frequently with an inspiring person

This may be a chat on the phone or at a coffee shop._____________________________________________________________

80. Mot ivate an inspiring person by helping them translate t alk and

ideas into specific actions._____________________________________________________________

81. Listen to the ideas of an inspiring person

The inspiring personality type likes to come up with new ideas.

This stimulates and excites them._____________________________________________________________


Every great leap forward

in your life comes

after you have made

a clear decision of some

kind.

Brian Tracy


ABN 44 086 516 010 Copyright 2005

10


13/17

_____________________________________________________________

82. Finish the intended discussion with an inspiring personThis is important, even if it takes a little longer than planned.

Avoid abruptly closing the discussion._____________________________________________________________

83. Open the discussion with a steady person by asking how their

family is, or a specific family member

The steady personality type appreciates this as you are showing an

interest in their personal situation and the people they care for._____________________________________________________________

84. Ask a steady person How can I support you?

The steady personality type is very support ive of other and willappreciate the same in return._____________________________________________________________

85. Be friendly and comforting with a steady person._____________________________________________________________

86. Avoid imposing too much change too quickly with a

steady person

The steady personality type likes stability. Status quo suits

them well._____________________________________________________________

87. Take the initiative and provide leadership and direction with asteady person

The steady personality t ype feels comfortable in following t he

leadership of others._____________________________________________________________

88. Avoid rushing a steady person

Youll need t o go at their pace, otherwise they may feel

uncomfortable._____________________________________________________________

89. During a time of change, help a steady person put t heir mind at

ease by offering a safe and seamless transition_____________________________________________________________


" TheAdvanced

Interpersonal


workshop has enabled me t o

deal more effectively with

people of all personality

types.

I recommend this workshop

because it was informative,

well structured, fun and

interactive. It was very

professional in terms of the

presentation, t he venue and

the handout material.

I have learnt a lot of great

information that I need to

continue to absorb over

time."

Marni Taylor, 2005


ABN 44 086 516 010 Copyright 2005

11

Mark Coburn is an interpersonal communications expert

and workshop facilitator. If you would like to experience his

full day Advanced Interpersonal Communication Skills

workshop where you will learn how to put all of these t ips

into action, email us at success@superself .com.au

with your details or go to www.superself.com.auto book into t he next event.


14/17

_____________________________________________________________

90. Avoid conflict as much as possible with a steady person

One of the b iggest fears of the steady personality t ype is conflict ._____________________________________________________________

91. Provide reassurance about what you are offering a steady person

It can also be useful to offer a personal guarantee to the steady

personality t ype._____________________________________________________________

92. Prove your credibility with a conscientious person to earn

their respect

Otherwise, the conscientious personality type will be cautiousabout making decisions that involve you._____________________________________________________________

93. Be on t ime when meeting wit h a conscientious person

They like precision and punctuality._____________________________________________________________

94. Communicate in a logical way to the conscient ious person

It needs to make sense to them._____________________________________________________________

95. Be object ive with a conscient ious person

Clearly state your objectives upfront and make sure you achieve

these objectives on time and as agreed._____________________________________________________________

96. Be patient with a conscientious person

They are not likely to make a quick decision, but when they do

they are usually very committed._____________________________________________________________

97. Ensure you provide a comprehensive answer for the

conscientious person

This personality type appreciates a detailed and well thoughtout response._____________________________________________________________

98. Ask a conscientious person Do you require further

information?

This also demonstrates your dedication towards being

comprehensive and thorough._____________________________________________________________

99. Be accurate and precise when communicat ing with a

conscientious person

This personality type responds well to quality, perfection

and accuracy.________________________________________________________


If you always do what

you've always done,

you'll always get w hat

you've always got .

Anonymous


ABN 44 086 516 010 Copyright 2005

12


15/17

_____________________________________________________________

100. Clearly present value for money to the conscientious personThe conscientious personality type needs to understand the facts,

figures and benefits of what you are suggesting._____________________________________________________________

101. Finally, t o ALL people, be fully present and highly focused

during a conversation

Avoid allowing your thoughts to drift off somewhere else.

Otherwise, you may miss something the other person is saying.___________________________________________________________________

Feel free to contact us if you would like to learn more aboutour products, services or workshops from one of our coaches.

PO Box 627 Spring Hill

Queensland 4004

Australia

Freecall 1800 005 013(Australian residents)

Int ernat ional Tel +617 3276 0108Fax +617 3276 0622

E-mail [email protected]

www.superself.com.au

EXECUTIVE & BUSINESS COACHING INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION FACILITATION

7 STEPS TO SUCCESS SMARTER GOALS STRESS MANAGEMENT PERSONALITY PROFILING

TEA M EMPOWERMENT PROFESSIONAL SPEAKING SE LF D EV ELOPME N T WORK SH OP


"Advanced Interpersonal

Communication Skillshas

given me the ability t o

understand who I am and

my makeup. I now realise

that people are not just

their face. I will always look

back into the workshop

manual to confirm my

understanding of certain

people."

Paul McCandless,

Prestigious Indoor Plants


ABN 44 086 516 010 Copyright 2005

13

Your best investment is yourself


16/17

ADVANCED

Interpersonal CommunicationSKILLS WORKSHOP

M aximise your relat ionship bui ld ing effect iveness

Just imagine the consequences of discovering new and powerfulinterpersonal communication skills that fast track your

client relationship building effectiveness.

?

E-COURSE

NOWAVAILABLE

Ask yourself...Have you ever experiencedchallenges when communicating

with someone in business?

How can you maximise the

relationship building opportunity

when you first meet a prospect?

How do your prospects and

clients make buying decisions?

*If you commit t o t he learning process of this workshop and don' t believe you have received

any benefit, we will refund your money when all course material is returned to SuperSelf.

SuperSelf Success Coaching have now made it easyfor you with t he delivery of an informative and

exciting one day workshop t hat will empower you

to understanding d ifferent ways people learn

information and how they respond in certain crucial

business situations.

The workshop is fun and packed full of great tips you

will be put ting into p ractice immediately.

To maximise the benefit to you, the workshop has

been designed using the latest accelerated learning

techniques, including on-screen graphical images,video and live demonstrations.

Throughout the workshop you will benefit by immediately

putting into practice what you are learning by teaming

up wit h other like-minded peop le. Each module will

build on t he foundation of what you have learnt,

particularly module 4 which focuses on a simple client

relationship building process that integrates all the

interpersonal communication skills presented in

modules 1, 2 and 3.

MONEY BACK GUARANTEE *


17/17

You w ill d iscover:

how to develop instant trust and rapport wit h anyone

the 3 major types of effective communication - words,

voice tonality and body language, which ones are

most effective and how to apply specific techniques to

communicate your message more easily

how people learn differently through the 4

communicat ion modes - visual, audit ory, kinestheticand auditory d igital

which of t he 4 personality t ypes your client is most

likely to be and how t o effectively respond or

present in a way that inspires them into action

a simple 4 step relat ionship building process that

incorporates all the above skills that you can apply in

many different ways that will generate more business

for you

You will also:

understand more about how you learn and

communicate most effectively

discover how to identify your clients preferred

learning mode and how this will help you to

communicate your message more clearly

develop insights as to what type of person is likely to

work in a particular industry

support your clients by having gaining insight and

knowledge of their likely business blind spots, fears

and challenges

know what t o say when you start a conversation wit h

your client that will get instant attention,

rapport and interest

learn how to encourage clients towards win-win

outcomes

cultivate these skills with like-minded people in a

group environment where everyone can learn from

each other.

BENEFITS

" During this workshop I have learnt a lot ofgreat information that I need to continue toabsorb over t ime. This workshop has enabledme to deal more effectively with people of allpersonality types. I recommend this workshopto others because it was informative, wellstructured, fun and interactive. It was veryprofessional in terms of the presentation, thevenue and the handout material."

Marni Taylor

" I am now more aware of my clients and theirneeds. I will use what I have learnt to approachprospective clients in a more positive way. Thisworkshop helps people in business to form acloser bond with t heir clients for moresuccessful outcomes."

Bev Seawright

" I have gained a lot of very practical

information that is useful for me in

understanding other people's needs and

learning methods. The workshop has helpedme improve my communication and rapport

building skills with prospects and clients. This

workshop really does work when applied!"

Clive Rix

ADVANCED

Interpersonal Communicat ionSKILLS WORKSHOP

Maximise your relat ionship building effect iveness

E-COURSE

NOWAVAILABLE

Put yourself first by investing in this

amazing workshop series that wil l

enable you to develop highly effect ive

communication and business

relat ionship building skills.

call us now on freecall 1800 005 013

or visit our website

for online booking at

www.superself.com.au

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superself 101 interpersonal communication tips

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