Of all the images surrogacy brings to mind, love doesn’t seem to be one of them. Is the world of surrogacy really as seedy as it seems? Lauren Barnett investigates...Surrogacy. The word alone conjures up all kind of images and stereotypes, which are usually negative. Many people think that women simply rent out their wombs for a hefty fee, and some do. From my research however, the vast majority of women act as surrogates because it fulfils a need, a need to help other couples start their family.

The issue of surrogacy has long been in debate, with many questioning the ethics and morals involved when giving over a child. Each country has its own view on what is acceptable, and surrogacy laws are different all over the world. This long-standing debate was brought back into the spotlight recently, as a governmental inquiry on surrogacy in Sweden published its conclusion that surrogacy should be banned, with no exceptions. The Swedish government is expected to approve this ban later in the year.

“Using the miracle of birth to make money”

The Swedish government have argued that all kinds of surrogacy, be it commercial or altruistic (out of kindness) is wrong and only leads to exploitation. They are also taking steps to stop their citizens going abroad and paying for a child. Many of the people that are

against surrogacy, cite their reasoning as exploitation against women, or using the miracle of birth to make money. However some people are not against surrogacy for this reason, but rather because of who the intended parents are. The issue of same sex couples using a surrogate to have a child has been under the spotlight in the media recently because of a right-wing independent Irish candidate, Mary Fitzgibbon.

“#NO2SURROGACY”Mrs Fitzgibbon used an image of two men holding their newborn baby just after his birth in an anti same-sex surrogacy campaign on social media. Fitzgibbon did not have permission from either the fathers or the photographer to use the image, and has posted it on three separate occasions on social media. Along with the picture Fitzgibbon used the hash tag #no2surrogacy along with the caption “a motherless child is the prize- the buying of children.” The campaign seemed to have backfired however, as there has been a global outpouring of support for same- sex couple surrogacy.

It is true to say that over the last decade especially, the world of surrogacy has been constantly hit with scandals, and accusations of exploitation and abuse. The recent case of the first American

surrogate mother to die hit headlines across the world, as well as the story of the intended parents who refused to accept a disabled child and tried to get their surrogate to abort the baby. Accusations of baby factories in Asia have also significantly damaged the image of surrogacy.

These kinds of horror stories have lead countries like Spain, as well as other European countries to outlaw surrogacy completely, with Sweden soon to follow. Many other countries however still allow surrogacy, and even allow the surrogate to be paid for her time, often quite handsomely.

“A surrogate in the USA is around

$130,000”In America the surrogate mother can be paid for her time, often between $40,000-$50,000 plus expenses, dependant on their experience as a surrogate. Adding on agency fees the average cost to secure a surrogate in the USA is around $130,000. In South Africa it drops slightly as the average fee for a surrogate is around $25,000 plus any expenses (which can also run into the thousands themselves). In India the total cost of having a child through a surrogate is around $12,000 including expenses.

Here in the UK surrogacy is legal as long as certain conditions are met; there must be no third party involved on a commercial basis (think agencies brokering relationships between the surrogate and IP’s), advertising for a surrogate is not allowed nor is advertising to be one and the surrogate can only take payment for any expenses she might incur whilst being pregnant.

There are also two different types of surrogacy, straight (traditional) surrogacy or host (gestational) surrogacy. During straight surrogacy an artificial insemination kit is used to inseminate the surrogate mother with the intended fathers sperm. This is the simplest and cheapest way of the surrogate becoming pregnant but it does mean that she is genetically related to the child that is to be handed over after birth.

“The UK law on surrogacy has too many

grey areas”Host surrogacy is a lot more complicated and expensive, but often the way things are done. It means that the surrogate mother is not genetically related to the child, making the process easier to deal with for everyone involved. During host surrogacy IVF is used either with the eggs of the intended mother, or donor eggs to impregnate the surrogate.

Although surrogacy is legal in the UK, there is a huge shortage of surrogates, driving childless couples to look abroad. Two- thirds of all UK parental orders (legal rights transferred to parents who have commissioned a child from a surrogate) are now for a baby born overseas. During the past three years more than a thousand

UK couples and individuals have secured the services of a surrogate abroad. This is the highest number from any European country.

FTS (Families through Surrogacy) have recently highlighted these figures and set up several conferences in London to help people make an informed choice on what they say is a ‘complex, costly and ever changing issue’. They believe that the UK law on surrogacy has too may grey areas, leaving people unsure of their rights when going through the surrogacy process.

“Change their mind about handing over the

baby”In the UK, the birth mother can still claim the baby after birth; the child does not belong to the intended parents until a parental order has been completed. Many people argue that in the UK surrogacy is solely based on trust, making contracts unenforceable. The Surrogacy Arrangements Act makes it impossible for couples to draw up a binding contract recognised by the UK courts.

Supporters of surrogacy in the UK say that there is overwhelming support for a change in the laws in the UK concerning surrogacy. They cite figures suggesting that almost three-quarters of surrogates in the UK appose the current UK law, which allows them to change their mind about handing over a baby. There is definitely a legal uncertainty over parenthood at the point of birth in the UK when surrogacy is concerned, something that many people believe is making more and more couples travel abroad for the child they have always longed for.

The Law:Surrogacy in the UK is legal.After a surrogate child is born, the parents apply for a parental order, to become legal parents of the child. In order to obtain a parental order the following rules must be adhered to:-• The intended parents must be domiciled in the UK.• The intended parents must be in a proven long term relationship, or be married.• The surrogate must not have received anything other than expenses.

So what is the truth? Does surrogacy exploit women, turning them into breeding machines in ‘baby factories’ like the alleged ones in Asia? Has it simply become about the money and not helping someone start their family? Have the wealthy used surrogacy to hand pick a child with the right skin, eye and hair colour? The answer of these questions, for many people, will be yes.

I wanted to know what the surrogacy process is really like, warts and all. So I spoke to several surrogate mothers across the globe about their experience, what the process was like for them and how they feel about the recent controversy surrounding surrogacy. I also spoke to the intended parents, the people that relied on surrogates to start a family of their own.

Kelsey Rising is a thirty-year-old mother of two, she has been married for eleven years and lives in Oak Harbour, Washington, USA. Her twin daughters were born when her sister acted as her surrogate. Here is her story:

“I was left childless and womb-less”

“We tried for about two years before we were told that IVF was our only hope, so we moved on to adoption. While we were trying to

adopt I had to have an emergency hysterectomy due to heavy bleeding and severe blood loss. Unfortunately the adoption didn’t go through and I was left childless and womb-less.”

“Most people don’t understand”

“I tried to be ok with not having kids, but the ache just wouldn’t go away. About three years ago my youngest niece was born and I knew I wasn’t done. My husband Brad and I saved like crazy and took out a $10k line of credit to pay for the medical side. I had a friend offer and then back out, and then my older sister offered to carry for us and we never looked back.”

Kelsey believes that the best place to seek help and guidance as an intended parent is through support groups. There are hundreds of different support pages on Facebook such as Intended Parents UK and The Intended Parents Journey where you can talk to others going through exactly the same thing.

Kelsey said: “The publics reaction to surrogacy is generally confusion, most people don’t understand how it works. For example, a lot of people think that my kids are biologically my nieces, but they are biologically my daughters. Of course other people

think there are ethical and moral issues around surrogacy, but they don’t understand that each case is unique and doesn’t mean it wasn’t meant to be.”

“Not all surrogacy is the same, not all of it is for profit, and not all intended parents are rich. Neither my friend nor my sister wanted a dime outside the medical costs. Knowledge is power, surrogacy isn’t for everyone but is perfect for some.”

But what is it like when your surrogate isn’t your sister and you do have to pay thousands for your child?w Does it prove to your child that you really wanted them because you’re willing to part with that much money? Or are desperate childless couples being exploited for ridiculous amounts or money simply because they know they’ll have to pay it?

“Our options: adoption,surrogacy or the best aunt and uncle

that we could be”

Nicole Herron is 38 years old and lives in Dallas TX, she was born with a complex congenital heart defect and was consequently unable to have children. This is her story:

Surrogacy Facts:• For surrogate mothers who are under the age

of 35, the success rate of a pregnancy may be as

high as 60%.

• The number of IVF births per year has more than doubled in total in

the last decade.

• There is indirect evidence that military

wives are the most likely demographic to agree to

a surrogacy.

• It takes about 3 cycles of IVF for the average

surrogate mother to conceive.

• Most couples can bring a surrogate child home about 18 months after the decision is made to

have a child.

• Open surrogacy is often more successful

than other forms of this arrangement because it allows all parties to stay involved with the child’s

life.

“The doctors felt it would be dangerous for me to carry a pregnancy, and when I received a valve replacement and had to start taking Coumadin to prevent blood clots, that pretty much sealed the deal. Coumadin can affect the fetus the way alcohol can. So my husband and I considered our options.”

“I hated that I didn’t get to feel the babies

moving” “Adoption, surrogacy, or be the best aunt and uncle we could be. We both really wanted kids, so I started doing research (it’s what I do. I’m a librarian). I found a group for women involved in surrogacy in Texas and Oklahoma and asked as many questions as I could. I was a member of the group for years before we were ready to try. I met LaDonna (our surrogate) through the group. We were friends long before we discussed working together.”

The surrogacy process went well for Nicole, she is now the mother to twins, a boy and a girl born in June 2009. Her surrogate LaDonna

visits the children three times a year. Nicole believes that the worst part of being an intended parent is how left out you feel, and not watching your body change and go through the process of pregnancy.

She said: “I hated that I didn’t get to feel the babies moving or just the day to day part of being pregnant. I attempted to induce lactation so I could have that experience, but was only slightly successful. LaDonna was great, though. She and I chatted every day and she tried to include me as much as possible. We went to a lot of appointments, even though it was a 3-hour drive, and I spent a lot of time with her family. They became a part of our family.”

“Would give anything to feel the misery of

pregnancy”“The stories that you hear about on the news are the exception, not the rule. Most of the time there isn’t a big drama that the media would deem newsworthy, so those stories get left out.”

“The only thing I do hate is when people tell me how lucky I was to not go through pregnancy. The women who choose surrogacy do not do so out of vanity or to avoid feeling bloated and hormonal. I guarantee that every woman who uses a surrogate would give anything to feel the ‘misery’ of pregnancy.

“Using private facebook groups and chatrooms to find a

surrogate”Nicole didn’t have a friend of a family member who could be her surrogate, so she used the internet to find a surrogate to start her family. This isn’t uncommon. More and more people are using private Facebook groups and chat rooms online to find a surrogate. This is something Nicole’s surrogate LaDonna has done several times.

LaDonna Woodmansee is 38 years old and lives in Oklahoma, she has been on seven different surrogate journeys, some were successful some were not.

She has helped four different couples start their family, successfully delivering three girls and a boy. LaDonna says that she is not giving up the babies, she is giving them back as they were never hers in the first place.

“Realising their dream has finally come true is

indescribeable”She said: “The hardest part for me is making others understand why I do it. So many people think surrogates do this for money only or for attention. The physical toll pregnancy takes on the body is hard too. The best part is handing the baby/ies over to their parents for the first time. Seeing the parents, almost always with tears in their eyes, realizing their dream has finally come true is indescribable.”

“Many people think we are surrogates for money only. While some may be, it’s never been my motivation. I’ve done journeys comp free. It is rude to ask a surrogate how much they’re getting paid. It’s as rude as asking

what someone’s salary is. Adopting is a great way to complete a family, but it’s not the best way for everyone. Suggesting so is also rude, especially if you didn’t adopt to complete your own family.”

With all of the recent controversy in the media concerning surrogacy LaDonna feels that surrogacy isn’t fairly represented in the media. She said:

“I think everyone should know that for every one bad story heard about surrogacy, there are thousands more happy stories.”

“God called me to do this and I have no

regrets”“I am the one who initiated this journey. I feel I’ve been blessed to be a part of so many happy endings and I now feel I have an even bigger ‘extended family’. These babies are like nieces and nephews to me. Despite what anyone thinks, I feel God called me to do this and I have no regrets.”

So how different is it being a surrogate in America to being a surrogate in the UK? While LaDonna wouldn’t tell me what she charges (and thinks it is rude to ask), a surrogate in the UK can only be reimbursed up to £15,000 for medical expenses. And as anyone who has had IVF will know, £15,000 doesn’t get you very far.

“The outside world conedmns them”

Jamie Cross is a surrogate who lives in London, in August last year she gave birth to a little girl that was conceived through the traditional surrogate process. She is in the process of setting up a non-profit organization to help more people afford the costs of surrogacy. This is her story:

“I met my Intended Parents (IPs) via a FB group & we spent a month getting to know each other before meeting in person. Athough they were strangers to start with I now consider them family.”

“The journey was absolutely amazing & I couldn’t have asked for better. It was a relationship built on mutual respect & trust. I consider my couple family & will be looking into a sibling journey in future years.”

“People see surrogacy as seedy, making references to buying & selling babies, renting wombs. Without really knowing the extent some people have gone to in order to have a baby before they have even considered surrogacy, the outside world almost condemns them & the surrogates involved. The hardest comment to deal with is that gay people should not have babies - as a surrogate to two gay dads I found that hard to swallow at first.”

“Surrogacy is a last option for many

parents”Jamie struggles to relate to other surrogate mothers from places like America who get paid for their time. She says:

“The biggest misconception about surrogacy in the UK that I hate is that we surrogates profit from it. It frustrates me that the first thing

people ask me as a surrogate is ‘how much money did you make?’ It is very hurtful and not at all the reason I wanted to be a surrogate.”

“I wish people would realise that we are not the US and we do not work like they do; we cannot design babies, or pay for a surrogate because we cannot be bothered to carry a child for 9 months. Surrogacy is a last option for many parents, and many have already been ruled out of the adoption process.”

The organization ‘Intended Parents UK’ believes that one of the biggest problems with surrogacy in the UK is that it is in need of better regulations, clearer laws and more information readily available for surrogates and intended parents.

They say: “To allow this process to be commercialised in the UK would be a tragic movement; however to introduce better regulations, better legal positions for Intended Parents and better positioning of the subject from our Government would allow a more informed decision from our population. Some people just don’t know where to start so we need to break the barriers down on this taboo subject.”

Breaking down the barriers is definitely what is needed for this subject. Many of the women I spoke to were involved in private groups on the internet and were extremwely hard to find. There is very little information on the surrogacy process freely available to the public

It seems to be that the first thing we think about when we hear the word surrogacy is that ‘renting a womb’ image. That people are making money from selling babies, exploiting women and creating a business out of the miracle of birth.

“Longing for their chance to have a

family”From my research I have found that many women are surrogates because they genuinely want to help others build families and have what everyone else wants. While the world is undecided on whether paying for a child is right or wrong, one thing is for certain, without surrogates there would be thousands more unhappy couples longing for their chance to have a family.