surviving exams - a parents guide is the family a happy place to be in? the difficulty with ssc...
TRANSCRIPT
Surviving Exams
- A Parent’s
Guide
Is the family a happy place to be in?
The difficulty with SSC exams is that it stretches all attention into the future. As a parent,
what you need to do is focus on the PRESENT.
Is your child feeling supported and
loved? Is the family’s ability to cope with
stressful times getting stronger?
This is the time when students start thinking about the future of their life. It is their first experience of facing large-scale competition.Every parent wants the best for their child - to provide him/her with all the best advantages. This can lead to a demand on their physical and mental energy, which we call STRESS.
Some students worry constantly about their performance in the exam, even if they have prepared well, because people perceive that it is this examination alone that decides the future of students.
EXAM AND STRESS
Stress takes a toll on everyone and the ability to handle stress is different for every individual. For some, stress works; but for most, it is counter-productive.
It affects performance and generates fear.
• Unrealistic or unreasonable expectations of others and self
• Excessive competition
• Low self esteem
• Comparisons
• Last minute preparation
What stresses students?
•Parents’ lack of trust• Managing Friendship & other Relationships
• Conflict
• Life changes
What stresses students?
PHYSICAL• Lack of sleep, appetite (or excess)
• Headaches and stomach pains• Feeling sick and tired all the time• Constant fatigue • Increased heart rate • Blurred vision • Dizziness
Signs of stress
EMOTIONAL• Quick to get into arguments or get angry
• Depression or negative thinking• Excessive worry / anxiety• Self-injurious behaviour
• Lots of negative self-talk
• Avoidance of study
• Irritability
Signs of stress
SOCIAL
• Social withdrawal, cutting off
from usual
routine (or increase in social
activity)
• Lack of interest in activities
Signs of stress
COGNITIVE• Difficulty in concentrating• Forgetfulness
Plan the child’s unsupervised time Plan the time you are going to spend with
your child and how you will spend it.
What parents can do to help children study well: Work out simple routines along
with the child. Help the child in framing a time-table. Help the child with time management.
Do not micro-manage your child’s time.
What parents can do to help children study well:
Encourage the child to attend the school regularly.
Allow him/her to participate in all school activities.
Don’t overload the child with different kinds of study
material.
Ensure that the child participates in all school
exams. (some marks are given for internal assessments.)
Ensure that your child submits all journals and
assignments on time.
What parents can do to help children study well:
Ensure that your child is getting enough food,
sleep, and recreation. Plan outings judiciously, but do plan them.
Learn to negotiate with your child about the above issues.
Create a guideline for TV watching, use of
phone and internet, time out with friends. Keep TV watching (by you) in control and
monitor the noise level.
What parents can do to help children study well:
Plan your own social activities judiciously. Avoid inviting guests and relatives to stay
over during this time. Keep the social environment of the house
normal.Keep your personal life normal - don’t keep it on hold because
your child’s exams are approaching.
What parents can do to help children study well:
Try to give minimum advice to your child. Have conversations with your child besides
study. Treat them occasionally if they are doing
well in their studies and exams. Provide emotional cushioning for your child. Don’t buy new gizmos in the
house at the time of the exam.
× Nagging.
What parents do that hinders the child’s study:
× Blocking out all recreation for the child.
× Comparing the child with others.
× Making the child feel that exams are the
most important and only thing in the world.× Talking about previous failures or results.
What parents do that hinders the child’s study:
× Displacing your anxiety on the child.
× Mixing academic issues with family conflicts.
× Saying ‘STOP DOING THAT’ when the child is in the middle of doing something. If, for example, they are watching TV or are on the phone, give them some time to finish and then stop. ‘Switch off the TV within 5 minutes.’
Small meals at regular intervals is a good idea; This keeps the stomach busy and brain working. If in the habit of drinking tea or coffee, keep it to a minimum - 1 or 2 cups a day. Avoid any kind of ‘Energy drink’.
Helping your child manage & creating a supportive environment
To be free from any kind of infection or viruses, try and avoid outside food at all times. Even with an upset stomach, your child loses 2-3 days.
RECREATION A regular fixed time for recreation helps a lot. It saves time if others know when your child takes a break so they can plan their calls and visits during that time. There will be festivals and celebrations during this one year. Enjoy and participate, but remember to remind your child that regular study is essential. Ensure that your child is sleeping well for about 7-8 hours, especially on the night before the test.
RECREATION
When your child is taking a break, let him/her go outdoors and get fresh air. While studying, after every 3-5 hours, if children lie down and put their legs up for some time, it helps the blood flow to the brain, and they feel fresh as the brain is rejuvenated.
What about you?
Are you stressed?
» Sleep disturbance.
SIGNS OF STRESS IN PARENTS
» Panicking.
» Losing temper often.
» Not being able to concentrate on work.
» Constantly checking on child.
» Constantly checking with other parents.
» Developing health concerns.
» Everybody’s life (in the family) revolves
around the child who is taking the exam.
SIGNS OF STRESS IN PARENTS
» Number of conflicts increase around and
about the child.
» Excessive leave-taking from work.» Becoming excessively religious.
» Family relationships are getting affected.
To be aware that however your child has done in
9th std, it will be better in the 10th.
What parents can do to manage their own anxiety
Family-time once a day, which is fun time.
Using humour is a good idea to relieve stress.
Take care of your health – eating, sleeping,
relaxing etc.
What parents can do to manage their own anxiety
Trust the school for what they are doing and
saying. (They are in this business for a very long time; experience counts).
Attend all school meetings - you will get updated
with what is happening and what is expected of you and your child.
Set realistic goals according to your child’s ability.
What parents can do to manage their own anxiety
Talk to the teacher/counsellor if you are not able to manage the anxiety.
Learn to let go of things.
Talk to a friend / relative.
To realize that whatever the outcome is,
it is manageable.
Let your child know that…© He/she is loved.© You believe in his/her ability. © You care more about them than their marks.
© You are the strongest pillar in his/her life, and
that s/he can win in every exam of life because you stand by him/her.
Board exams are an important phase in a student’s career, but it is a phase and not a career in itself. It is the beginning of the road, not the end of it.
“Forget past mistakes.
Forget failures. Forget
everything except what
you're going to do now and do
it.”
- William Durant
