“Suspicious Minds” by Andrew Bruun YSAS 1998 1

We can't go on together with suspicious minds AndrewBruun(1998)Introduction"Thesekidshavegoteithernooneintheirlivesoracastofthousands".Overthe15yearsorso,sinceworkinginthehumanservicesfield,I'veheardthatlineaboutasmanytimesasI'velistenedtotheaboveElvissong(whichisalot-believeme).I'msureeveryonereadingthisarticlewouldalsohavehearditandIwouldsay,inageneralsense,wouldagree.Thewords"thesekids"refertoyoungpeople,mostoftenfromextremelydisadvantagedbackgrounds,whoendupintheprotectionandcareofthestate.Amajorityoftheseyoungpeopleusedrugs.OfcoursethemajorityofpeopleinAustraliausedrugs.FortheyoungpeopleIreferto,theirdruguseoftenputstheirsafetyandwellbeingatrisk.Theyarefarbeyondcaringwhetherwhattheydoislegalorillegal,theyaremotivatedbyarangeofotherfactors.Ihaveworkedwithover500youngpeoplewithdrugrelatedissues.Therewerelogicalreasonsastowhyeachoneoftheseyoungpeopleuseddrugs.Ausefulwaytolookatitisthatinallcasesthedrugusehadafunction.Understandingthereasonsayoungpersonhasforusingdrugsandwhatfunctionitservesiscrucialbutasprofessionalsandmembersofthecommunitythekeyquestionis"Howcanwerespondinthemosteffectivewaypossible?".Itismyintentioninthisarticletogosomeofthewaytoansweringthatquestion.Attheendofthedayit'swhateverworksbestforthatyoungpersonandtheirfamily.Thisrequiresadiverseunderstandingofthecasespecificandgeneralissuesinvolvedplusarangeofapproachesandinterventionsthatmaybeuseful.Thefocusofmyintentioninthisarticleisonhowbesttostructuretheworkingrelationshipsinayoungperson'slifesoasto:

• increasetheirsenseofsecurity• reducetheriskofharm• maximisethepotentialforthemtogaintheinformationguidanceand

supporttonegotiatethesometimestrickypathtowardsadulthoodWhatkindofrelationshipsarenecessaryfortheyoungpersonwhohas"no-one"?Particularlywheremoreintensiveanddependentdruguseisinvolved.Also,howisthe"castofthousands"goingtofindacohesivestructureandaneffectivewayofworkingtogethersothattheyoungpersonsdevelopmentalneedsareadequatelycateredfor?

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BuildingprotectiverelationalstructureswithadolescentsDiagram1representsamodelthatsomecolleaguesandIhaveusedthatrelatestohowthedevelopmentalneedsoftheyoungpeoplearerespondedtobyothersintheirlife.

Diagram1Forthemodeltomakesenseitisnecessarytomakesomerelevantpointsaboutadolescentdevelopment.TodothisIwilldiscustheadolescenttransitionalprocessasawholebutamawarethattheagerangeIreferto,11/12to17/18yearsold,coversacoupleofdevelopmentalsub-stages.Asadolescentsareinsomethingofatransitionalstate,competinginterestsareatplay.Ononehandtheyoungpersonwillexpectoryearnforthestructure,supportandnurturingthatwasavailabletothemasachild(eventhoughtheywillalmostalwaysbeloathetoadmitit).Ontheother,theywanttobustoutofthechildhoodroleanddemandtobetreatedasadults.Therefore,theyquestiontheorderofthingsandareseenasrebelliousanddisdainfulofauthority.Theythirstforexperience.Theytakerisksthatmanyofuswhoareadultswouldn’ttake,butpossiblyoncewouldhave.Theyhaveanintensedesiretobeseenasmature,sotheyoftentrytosendoutamessagethattheyhaveeverythingundercontrolwhenitisn’tthecase.Thisthrowsupadilemmaforparentsandguardians.Whiletheywanttheyoungpersontodevelopandbesuccessfulintheirquesttobecomearelativelyautonomousindividual,theyhaveprimaryconcernandresponsibilityforthatyoungperson’ssafetyandwell-being.Needlestosay,anaturaltensionexistsinrelationshipsbetweenteenagersandtheirguardiansthatstemsfromdifferingperspectivesoverwhatissafeandacceptable.Dissonancealsodevelopswheretheyoungperson’svaluesandgoalsclashwiththosethattheirparentsorguardianswouldlikethemtohold.

Limit%Se(er%

Enabler%

Safety%Health%Future%

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Youngpeoplewanttomakedecisionsforthemselvesandbethemastersoftheirowndestiny,whereasparentsorguardiansoftendoubttheircapacitytodosoandusuallytakea"nottillI'msureyourgoodandready”approach.Itmayhurtayoungperson’spridetobe“underestimated”andprovokeprotestsagainstsuchtyranny.However,inmostcasesyoungpeopleshareatleastsomeofthesamedoubtsabouttheirabilitytomanageastheircaregivers.Thefactthatthereissomeonewhoisactingtomoderatetheirexposuretothebigbadworld,regardlessofhowattractiveitmaybe,engendersasenseofsecurity.Asaprotectiveworkeryoudon'thavetolooktofartoseewhathappensforkidswhenthisroleisnotbeingfulfilled.Intheidealsenseateenagerwillhavearelationshiporsetofrelationshipswhereresponsibilityistakenfordefiningtheparametersor"settingthelimits"withinwhichtheyoungpersonisfreetomoveandexperiencelife.Itisayoungperson’sjob(indevelopmentalterms)topushthoselimitsinordertohavethemextendedorremovedaltogether.Thismeansthattheywillbeconstantlytestingtheresponseofthosethatsetlimitsforthem.It'sanage-oldstorydrippingwithtensionandinherentparadox.Itcanbeatoughtimeforallconcerned.Veryfewparentsorguardianswoulddisagree.Evenwiththepalpableexcitementandthefondmemoriesthatthinkingofbeing14stirsup,Iwouldn'twanttogoback.Andrew,thegawky,naive,sometimesbrave,selfconscious,would-beCasanovawithhisjeanstuckedintohisuggboots.Onemoment,Iwoulddwellmorbidlyontheconceptofdeathandthenextbeonaskateboardhurtlingdownthemiddleofasteepandnormallybusymainroadatmidnight.Allthiswithoutevenafleetingthoughtastomyownmortality.Iwonderwhathaschanged.Youcanputmedownasthenever-wasCasanovaandmaybenowIjustdealbetterwithbeinggawkyandsexstarved.Asfortheskateboard,bitumenisahardteacher.Toomuchinformation?Ithinkso.Backtothepaper.Thekeythemescomethroughloudandclear:

1. Theneedfortheyoungpersontohaveexperiencesfromwhichtheycanlearnanddevelop.

2. Theneedtoensurethatintheprocessofexperiencinglifeandmakingdecisionsforthemselvestheyoungpersondoesnotgetsooutoftheirdepththattheirsafety,wellbeingandfutureprospectsarejeopardised.

Itisveryimportanttoownthefactthatchangeandtransitioninvolvesrisk.Withoutriskconstructivelearningandself-discoverywillnotoccur.Thefocusmustthenbeonhowtheextremeandunnecessaryrisksmightberemovedandonhowotherrisksarebestmanaged.Whatwedoknowisthatitwouldbeunnaturalforapersontospendalltheiradolescentyearslivinghappilywithinthelimitsthataresetforthem.Icanassureyouthatmyreckless,midnightskateboardingdescentsofmainroadsinBrisbanewerenotsanctionedbymyparents.BelievemeIwasn'traisingitatthedinnertable

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asatopicofdiscussiontocheckouthowmyparentsmighthavefeltaboutit.Iwasflyingundertheradarandthat'sthewayIwantedtokeepit.Thesameapplieswithdruguse.Itwillalmostalwaysbebehaviourthatissubjecttoofsomekindoflimitsorregulation.Youngpeoplewillalmostalwaystrytokeeptheirdrugusingbehaviour(oratleastthemostriskypartsofit)undertheradar.Whenthedetailsofayoungperson’ssubstanceuseareunknown,accurateassessmentparticularlyintheareaofrisktoselforothersisnotpossible.Thisrenderslimit-setters,withthehealthandwellbeingoftheyoungpersonatheart,powerlesstoaddressthedrugrelatedissueswiththeyoungpersoninanymeaningfulway.Thefollowingisalistofwhat,inmyexperience,youngpeopleusingdrugsrequireifriskistobeminimisedandtheircapacitytomanagetheircircumstancesenhanced:

• accurate,reliableandrelevantinformationandeducationrelatingtothedruguse(notscaretactics)

• knowledgeofhowtoaccessinformationandresourcesforthemselves• knowledgeofharmreductionstrategiesandprotectivebehaviors,aswellas

howtheycanbeputintopractice• advocacyandlinkageswithappropriateservices,organisationsorindividuals

thatcouldbeofassistance• opportunitytodebriefandlearnfromtheirexperiencescoupledwithgetting

someguidancefromacaringadult.Howcantheseessentialservicesbeofferedtoayoungpersonandissuesaroundsubstanceuseaddressedwhenmostoftherelevantinformationisnot“ontheair”?ThetragiccaseofAnnaWoodscomestomind.AnnaWoods,ateenager,diedin1996.Thecoronerreportedthatitwasduetowaterintoxicationorinternaldrowning.Itiswidelybelievedthatshewaskilledbyecstasybutthisisnotthecase.Anambulancewascalledat10.11ambutshetooktheecstasywithfriendsatadancepartythenightbefore.Withoutgoingintothefinedetails,AnnaWoodshaddrunktoomuchwater,whichisrecommendedforpeopleatdancepartieswhodancevigorouslyforhoursonendinordertopreventdehydration,andbegantofeelsick.Believingwronglythatthecureforsomeonewhogetssickaftertakingecstasywastodrinkalotofwater,herfriendskeptgivingittoherwhichkeptmakingtheproblemworse.AnnaWoodscoulddefinitelyhavebeensavedifmedicalhelphadbeensoughtintime.BecauseAnnaWoodsandherfriendsdidn'twanttheirparentsorotherstofindoutthatshehadtakenecstasy,theywaitedallnighttocallforassistance.Bythenthesituationwascriticalanditwastoolate.ThisisinnowayacommentonAnnaWoodsparentswhomostcertainlywouldhaveactedimmediatelytoengagemedicalassistance.WhatiftherewasanotherpersonwhothegirlstrustedthatcouldhavesteppedintoactintheinterestofAnna'ssafetyasherparentswouldhave.Enablingrelationships

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TheexampleofAnnaWoodsillustrateshowyoungpeopleoftenactoutsidetheprotectiveinfluenceofthepersonwhohasthelimit-settingroleintheirlife.Otherrelationshipsinvolveenablingayoungpersontoexpressanddeveloptheirownidentityandpursuetheirinterests.Theserelationshipsareanimportantsourceofinformation,supportandguidancefortheyoungperson.Theynotonlyopenupopportunitiesfornewexperiencesbutalsohelptheyoungpersontounderstandwhattheseexperiencesmean.Theyfacilitatelearning.Thepeopleintheserelationshipscanbefriends,siblings,membersoftheirextendedfamily,theparentsofotherkidstheyknow,localyouthworkers,teachers,sportscoaches,etc.Theyarethesignificantothersinayoungperson'slifethatIcall“enablers”(asindiagram1).Peopleintheenablingrolecanhaveastrongprotectiveinfluenceintheyoungperson’slife,justaslimit-settersdo,butinadifferentway.Why?Becauseyoungpeoplecanfeelateasetodiscusstheirthoughtsandexperienceswithoutexpectinglimitstoapplyorconsequencestoensue.Ofcourse,allrelationshipshavelimits,whatreallymakesthedifferenceisthepowerdynamic.Limit-settershavedirectorcoercivepoweroverayoungperson’scircumstances.Youngpeoplechoosewhotheirenablerswillbe.Toagreatextentayoungpersonbestowsonthesepeoplethepowertoinfluencethem.Therewillstillbeapowerimbalancebutthisisusuallyduetotheenablerhavingmoreexperienceandresources.Also,whattheyhavetooffermaybeveryattractivetotheyoungperson.Indiagram1,theserelationshipsarerepresentedonthehorizontalaxisandlimit-settingrelationshipsarerepresentedonthevertical.YouwillalsonoticethatIhaveusedtheterms“Haveto”and“Howto”todefinethedifferentfunctionsthedifferentrelationshipsserve.Apointofclarificationisrequiredhere.Thosewiththecrucial“haveto”rolewillalsodeliverthe“howtos”foryoungpeopleinawiderangeofareasbutnotthosethattheyoungpersonkeepshiddenor“beneaththeradar”.Thishighlightstheimportanceofstrongrelationshipswithenablers,whoshareacommoninterestwiththelimitsetterintheyoungperson’ssafety,well-beingandongoing,healthydevelopment.Unfortunately,notall"howto"relationshipsarecomplementaryinthisway.Ayoungpersonmaylearnhowtostealcarandgoforajoyrideorbeencouragedtohaveagoattrainsurfing.Attimestheymightreceiveveryunreliableinformation,likemasturbationmakesyougoblind.That’sfairlybenignbutitismuchmoreconcerningwheninformationsuchasthefollowingisbeingpassedonandtakenasfact:

• “Onceyou'vegotHepatitisCitdoesn'tmatterifyousharewithotherswhohaveit.”or

• “Whensomeonehasaheroinoverdose,shootthemupwithsaltwater,itwillrevivethem”.

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Others,whodon’tknowanybetterthemselves,asintheAnnaWoodscase,oftensharethistypeofinformation,unwittingly.Thesemaybepeoplewhocaredeeplyfortheyoungperson.Othertimesitmaybesomeonewhopreysontheyoungperson'sinexperienceandgullibility.Attheextremeendofthecontinuumofexploitative“howto”orenablingrelationshipsarethoseformedwithpaedophiles.Theyareoftenexpertat“grooming’theyoungpeoplethattheytargetandmaketherelationshipstheyofferveryattractive.Theyoftenmeetyoungpeoplesneedsonanumberoflevels,whetherit’saccommodation,moneyforactivitiesandnewclothesoraffectionandcommitmentfromanadult.Irealisethattheunderlyingmotivesarerelatedtousingtheyoungpersonfortheirownpleasureregardlessoftheimpactitmighthaveonthemandformethat’swhatmakespaedophilesactionssodespicable.However,asacommunityweneedtofacethefactthatourresponsetotheneedsofmanyyoungpeopleisvastlyinadequateandweoftendon'tprovidethesameopportunities.Toanadultseekingtoensurethattheyoungpersonisn'tbeingexploited,itmightseemobviouswhichrelationshipsaredetrimentalforayoungpersonandwhicharen’t.Ayoungpersonislikelytohaveaverydifferentperspectivefromthelimit-setterandwouldhaveadifferentscaleformeasuringsuitability.Thedecisionastowhichrelationshipsaredeemedacceptableorunacceptableisoftenasourceofdisagreementandconflict.Attimeslimit-settersexerttheirinfluenceandendeavourtopreventayoungpersonfromenteringorcontinuingenablingrelationshipstheybelievewillhaveanegativeinfluence.Theinevitableresultisthatyoungpeoplewillchoosetokeepcertainrelationships"undertheradar"orconstructthepeoplethattheyarehangingoutwithasvirtualangels.Therealityisthattheyaremorelikelytobethedevil-worshippingtoughguysfromthepubrockbandofthesamenameratherthantheheavenlyvariety.Itisthereforepreferablefortheyoungpersontobeconnectedwithanenablerwhocanexplorewhattheserelationshipsmeantotheyoungpersonandofferanotherperspective.Theguidancetheyreceivemaybevirtuallythesameaswhatwouldcomefromthelimit-setterbutismoreeasilyacceptedfromanenabler.Thismeansthatthepersoninacomplementary,enablingrelationshipwiththeyoungperson,whomaybeanoldercousinoraprofessionalhelperlikeaYouthAODworker,willhavedifferentormoredetailedinformationthanthatofthepersoninthelimit-settingrolelikeaparentoraprotectiveworker.Withtheirsharedinterestinhealthandwellbeingofthatyoungpersoninmind,answerswillneedtobefoundtothefollowingquestions:• Whatinformationwouldbepassedon?• Howaredecisionsmaderegardingwhatinformationistobepassedon?• Whatisdonewiththeinformationwhenitispassedon?

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Indeterminingtheanswerstothesequestions,thereare2majorissuesofoverwhelmingimportancethatmustbeconsidered.Theyare:

1. ThehealthandsafetyoftheyoungpersonandothersinvolvedSometimesguidance,encouragement,informationprovisionandsupportwillnotbeenoughforthistobeachieved.Therearetimeswhenlimitswillneedtobeimposedandayoungpersoncontained.Incircumstanceswhereayoungpersonisclearlyindangerorisputtingsomeoneelseatseriousrisk,informationclearlyneedstobepassedontosomeonewhohastheresponsibilityandcapacitytoact.Protectiveworkerswilloftenundertakethisroleindischargingtheirstatutoryresponsibility.Rememberthatdifferentpeoplehavedifferentperceptionsofwhatisriskyanddangerousanditisalsorelativetotheparticularprofileofthepeopleinvolvedandthecontexttheyfindthemselvesin.Irecommendthatprofessionallimit-setterslikeprotectiveworkersandenablerssuchasanAODworkerorayouthworkerhaveestablishedprocessesandconsultativeforumsinplacefordeterminingthelevelofdanger/riskpresentingandhowitmightbeactedupon.Protectiveworkershavethe“VictorianRiskFramework”asatooltousebuttherearealwaysgreyareas.Theissuesfacedhavetobeworkedthroughandallfactorsconsidered.Thealternativeistorelyonrigid,prescribedresponses.Theresultofwhichistosimplyapplysetstrategiesregardlessofcontext.Theriskhereisthatriskandfurtherharmcaninadvertentlybeincreased.Howandwhenthisinformationwouldbesharedandacteduponneedstobepre-determinedandclearlycommunicatedtoallconcerned.Anunderlyingconcernformostintheenablingroleisthattherelationshipwiththeyoungpersonwillendifsuchinformationissharedwithouttheconsentoftheyoungperson.Inmyexperiencethisisrarelythecase.Whatusuallytranspiresisthattheyoungpersonandtheworkerhavesomeissuestoworkthrough.Thisprocesscanbedevelopmentallyverybeneficialfortheyoungperson.Theworkerneedstoexplainwhythedecisiontopasstheinformationwasmadeandinvitetheyoungpersontoviewitfromthatperspective.Sometimestheyoungpersonisunabletodothis.Sometimesitwilltaketime.Othertimestheperspectiveoftheworkerisbasedonassumptionsthathavenobasisinfactandthecourseofactiontakenhasbeenpoorlyconceived.Inmanycasesthepennydropsprettymuchstraightawayandyoungpeoplerealisethattheenabler(andthelimit-setter)wereactingintheirbestinterest.Thisrealisationwillbeeasierfortheyoungpersontomakeiftheyhavemovedbeyondthehighriskorcrisisperiodthattheymaywellhavebeeninandareinapositionofrelativestability.Whenanenablerhasanestablished,trustingrelationshipwithayoungpersonthiswholeprocessbecomeseasier.Thisisbecausetheyoungpersonprobablyhasmoreinvestedinsucharelationshipandwillcareenoughaboutittotryandworkthingsthrough.Also,inmyexperiencewhenayoungpersonisconvincedthatyouare"alright",meaningthatyourtrustworthyandhonest,heorshewillusuallyrespectyourdiscretion.Youngpeoplewilloftenbegratefulthatyoucaredenoughtostepineveniftheydidn’tlikeitatthetime.Veryoftentheworkersthataremostfondly

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rememberedbyyoungpeoplewhentheyareolderarethosethathadthelimit-settingroleintheirlife.

2. Thatlinesofcommunicationwiththeyoungpersonarekeptasopenaspossible.

Ifinformationiscontinuallytransferredfromanenablertothelimit-setterwithoutdiscretion,communicationbetweentheenablerandtheyoungpersonislikelytoshutdowntosomeextent.Thismeansthatcertainsubjectswon’tbe“ontheradar”or“ontheairwaves”andworkerorenablerinacomplementaryrelationshipwiththelimitsetterwillnotbeinapositiontohaveanyinfluenceovertheyoungperson’sbehaviour.Incircumstanceswhenlimitsettersfeelanxiousaboutwheretheyoungpersonisatorwhentheysuspectthattheirauthorityisbeingthreatenedtheywilloftenpressureenablerstohandsensitiveinformationover.EffectivelimitsettingLimit-settershavethepotentialtobringgreatbenefitorharm,dependingonhowtheyperformtheirrole.Regardlessofwhetherthereare1ormorepeopleinthelimit-settingrole,itisessentialthattheyoungpersonreceiveaclearmessageaboutwherethelimitslayandhowtheyaretobeapplied.Messagesthatarecontradictorywillbeconfusingandleavethewayclearfortheyoungpersontosplitthosethathavealimit-settingroleintheirlife.Toooftenyoungpeoplegetlabeledasmanipulativeandheldtoblameforoperatinginawaythatistobeexpectedgiventheirdevelopmentalimperativetotestandextendlimits.Itistheresponsibilityofthelimitsetterstobeco-ordinatedandevenwhenthereisdisagreement,cometoadecisionaboutwhatmessagetosendandsticktoit.Thiscanbedifficultforparentsbutevenmoreofastrugglewhenthereareseveralworkersinvolvedallwithalimit-settingrole,particularlywhentheparentsarealsostillinthepicture.Foranyoneinthisrolethereareseveralquestionsthatneedtobeanswered.Theyareasfollows:

• Whatcontextsorbehavioursarethelimitstoapplyto?• Wherearethelimitsdrawn?• Howisthisdetermined?• Howmuchsay,ifany,doestheyoungpersonhave?• Whatstrategiesareusedtoensuretheyoungpersonstayswithinthelimits?• Whenapersonhasmovedbeyondthelimitsthathavebeensetwhat,ifany,

aretheconsequences?• Howarethesedetermined?• Howmuchsay,ifany,doestheyoungpersonhave?• Howaretheparticularlimitsandcorrespondingconsequences

communicatedtotheyoungperson?• Howpreparedisthelimitsettertoenacttheconsequences?• Whatprocessesareinplaceforthelimitstobereviewed,renegotiatedand

adaptedtosuittheyoungperson’sincreasedmaturityandexpandedcapabilities?

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• Whatistheyoungperson’sroleinthisprocess?• Whatinducementsaretherefortheyoungpersontostaywithinthelimits?

Inansweringthesequestionsitisessentialtorememberthatdifferentyoungpeoplehavedifferentneedsandpersonalitiessowhatworkswellforonewillnotautomaticallyworkinthesamewayforanother.Thefactthatonepersonorotherscareenoughtostickwithayoungpersonovertimewillgoalongwaytodeliveringthesenseofsecurityandbelongingmostyoungpeopleyearnfor.Ashasbeenmentioned,youngpeopleoftencomplainaboutthelimit-setteranddescribetheirpracticesasoppressiveorunjust.Itispossiblethatthisisthecasebutonmostoccasionstheseprotestationsareapartofthecutandthrustofthedevelopmentalprocess.Typically,whenadultslookbackontheiradolescentyearstheyaregratefultothosethathadthelimitsettingroleintheirlife.Intheidealsense,thepersonorpeopleinthelimit-settingrolewouldhaveagenuinecareandcommitmenttotheyoungperson.Whenarelationshiphasbeenmadeovertimeandthereisasensethatitwillexistintothefutureit’ssignificancefortheyoungpersonisheightened.Thisincreasesthepossibilitythattheyoungpersonwillhavemoreinvestedinstayingconnectedandridingthroughtoughtimeswiththelimit-setter.Thefollowingarewhatinmyexperienceareguidingprinciplesforeffectivelimitsettingwithadolescents:

1. Theabilitytocommunicatewiththeyoungpersonandunderstandtheirperspective

Effectivelimit-settershavethecapacitytounderstandtheyoungperson’sperspectiveandevolvetheirown.Itisessentialtobeopentofeedbackfromtheyoungpersonandcapableofchangingtheapproachbeingtakensoastostayrelevanttothecurrentcircumstancesoftheever-evolvingadolescent.Beingunderstandingandopentofeedbackisdifferentfromagreeingwiththeyoungpersonordoingtheirbidding.Ihaveseenseveralcaseswherelimitshavebeensetthattheyoungpersonhasoutgrown.Ifthelimit-setterisn’ttunedintowheretheadolescentisatdevelopmentallyandignorestheirincreasedmaturityandexperience,turbulenttimesmayensue.Inasensetheyoungpersonhastoshedmanyskins(whicharelikeprotectivecoatings)inthetransitionthroughadolescence.Limit-settershavetokeepdevelopingnewonesthatfitwelluntilfinally,theyoungpersoniscapabledevelopingtheirown.

2. Involvetheyoungpersoninaprocessofconsultationandnegotiationoverwhatthelimitsandcorrespondingconsequencesmightbe

Thisapproachengagestheyoungpersonandoffersthemthechanceforthetolearnwhyandhowlimitsarebeingset.Youngpeoplearemostlikelytorespectlimitsiftheyunderstandwhytheyareinplace(Itdoesnotmeanthattheywillstaywithin

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them).Thisapproachteachesayoungpersonbettercommunicationskillsandalsoencouragesthemtothinkmoreforthemselvesabouttheiractions.Communicationofthiskindoffersthelimitsetteristhechancetoassesswheretheyoungperson’smaturitylevelandcapabilitiesareatandeventuallysetmorerelevantlimits.

3. Takeresponsibilityforsettingthelimitsandapplyingtherelevantconsequences

Itisofprimeimportancethattheadultwithresponsibilityforsettingthelimitsdoesso.Theyoungpersonhasachancetoparticipatebutthefinaldecisionmustrestwiththeadult.Thesameapplieswhentheyoungpersonhasmovedoutsidethelimitsthathavebeenset.Theyoungpersonneedsachancetoexplainhowandwhythishasoccurredandthisneedstobecarefullyconsideredbuttheadultwithresponsibilityforapplyingtheconsequencesneedstoapplythem.

4. BeclearandconsistentItisimportanttoestablishexactlywhatlimitsareinplaceanddoublecheckthattheyoungpersonunderstands.Itisalsocrucialthatthelimit-setterisveryclearaboutwhatwillhappenwhenyoungpeoplemovebeyondthelimitsthathavebeensetout.Weknowthatyoungpeoplewilltesttheselimitsout.Whattheywillalsotestistheresolveofthelimit-settertoenacttheprocessesthathavebeenlaiddownforwhenlimitshavebeenbreached.Confusionandinactionunderminesthatrespecttheyoungpersonwillhaveforthelimitsinplaceandtheprocessesthataretofollow.Italsounderminesthesenseofsecuritythatclearlimitscanofferaswellasthechancetodefineoneselfbypushingagainstthem.

5. PutwordsintoactionLimitsettersmustbepreparedtobackuptheirwordswithaction.Ifayoungperson“breakstherules’andthepromisedconsequencesdonoteventuatethelimit-setterrisksbeingseenasapapertiger.Thismeansthatlimitssetinthefuturemaynotbetakenseriously.So,whenaparentfindsmarijuanaintheirkidsbagandsays"ifIcatchyouwiththisstuffagainI'mkickingyouout.Noson/daughterofmineisgoingtobeadruguser"andthekidaccidentally-on-purposeleavessomemoremarijuanaontheirdresser,whatwilltheparentdo?Kickingthemoutofhomewillonlyincreasetheriskoftheyoungpersonbecominga"druguser"butnotfollowingthroughsendsamessagethattherulesaresomewhatmeaningless.Thisobviouslyleavesparentsorlimit-settersinaquandary.Idon'trecommendthestrategyofmovingyoungpeopleoutofsheerbloodymindedness.Idorecommendtalkingtotheyoungperson,explainingthenatureofthedilemma,andputtinganewprocessinplacethatwillbefollowedthroughon.Thebehaviorthatthismodelssuggeststhatpeoplemakehonestmistakesanditispossibletolearnfromexperienceandmakechangeswhenrequired.Theanswerforlimit-settersistoset"gradedlimits"Theoppositeofthe"1strikeandyou’reoutapproach".IliketoreferbacktooldBusterKeatonmoviestoexplain

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whatImeanbygradedlimits.Busterfallsoutofatallbuilding(presumablytohisdeath)butoneveryfloorthereisacanvasawningthroughwhichhefalls,breakinghisfallbitbybituntilheeventuallyhitstheground,slightlyshakenupbutwithoutinjury.

6. ConsequencesthathavemeaningandbuildcapacityWhenconsequencesneedtobeapplieditisidealiftheyconnecttheyoungpersontoconstructiveoptionsandcontributetoayoungpersonsongoingdevelopment.Dishingoutaconsequenceslikecleaningatoiletwithatoothbrushisdemeaningandunlikelytoachieveanythingmorethansendthemessagethat"whatyoudidiswrong".(Don'tlaughI'veseenitdealtoutasaconsequenceinabehaviormodificationbaseddrugtreatmentprogram.)Itactuallysaysalotmoreaboutthelimitsetterthanthe“atfaultbehaviour”.WhenIworkedatTaskForceinPrahran,everymorningIcametoworkIwalkedpastanoticeboardwithamessageonitthatmusthavebeenthereforyears.Itread:

• Challengewithoutopportunityisdemeaning• Challengewithopportunityisempowering

Itwasn’treferenced,soIapologisetothepersonthatwroteitfornotgivingthemthecredittheydeservebutitalwaysmadeagreatdealofsensetome.Alimitsetislikeachallengetoayoungperson.Everyeffortneedstobemadebythosemakingachallengetoayoungpersontoensurethattheyhavetheopportunityandcapacitytomeetit.I’llgiveyouacaseexamplefromanorganisationIwasinvolvedwithinQueenslandsomeyearsago.Thesceneisaresidentialunitconnectedtoayouthworkservicefor“disadvantaged”youngpeople.Therewasadayprogramandoutreachyouthworkersattachedtothefacility.Aworkerhadleftthekeystotheunit’scaronthekitchentable.Ayoungman,18,whowaslivingintheunit,seizedtheopportunityandwentforajoyride.Ithappenedinthemorning.Withthesafetyandwellbeingoftheyoungmaninmindthepolicewerecontacted.Theinsurancecompanywasalsocontacted.Lateintheafternoontheyoungpersoncontactedthedayprogram.Thekidsaidthatthecarwasnotdamagedandsaidwhatareyou“gunnado”.Theworkerthenmadeanarrangementwiththeyoungperson.Itinvolvedtheyoungmantellingtheworkerwherehewas.Theworkerwouldgowithanotherworkertopickhimupandthatifthecarwasnotdamagednochargeswouldbelaid.Thentheycouldtalkaboutconsequences.Theyoungpersonhadpriorsanddidn’twantchargestobelaid.Healsotrustedtheworkerandheagreed.Itturnsouthehadrunoutofpetrol.Theypickedhimandasitturnedoutthecarwasunscathed.Theyallwentbacktotheunit.Theyoungmanwaitedasthemanagerandtheworkerdeterminedacourseofaction.Theydecidedthatheneededtoknowthatitisnotalrighttostealcarsorinfactanythingfromtheirorganisationoranyoneelse.Theywereconcernedwithfinding

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thebestwaytogetthismessagethroughtotheyoungmanandhavinghimunderstandwhyitisbeingsentaswellasworkoutwhatitmeansforhim.Insteadofexcludingorrejectinghimatthisstage,whichiswhatheexpectedwouldhappenandmayatsomelevelhadevenplannedfor,theyboughthimintoaprocess.Thefactthatthisresponsesurprisedthekidmadetheeffectmorepowerful.Themanagerandtheworkerinvolvedboughthimintoanofficeandgavehimachancetoexplainhisreasonsfortakingthecar.Iwasn’ttherebutIknowthiswouldhavebeenveryuncomfortableforhim.Hecouldn’tarticulateareason.Themanagerthenexplainedwhytheorganisationwassoconcerned.First,itwasveryunsafeforhimandbydrivinghehadalsoputothersatrisk.Second,thecarwasneededtodriveotheryoungpeopletoappointmentsduringthedayandtodotheshopping.Itmightalsobeneededinanemergency.Finallythecarwasvaluableandtheorganisationwasstrugglingforfunds.Afteraperiodofsilencetheyoungmansaidthathewassorry.Theworkersfeltlikethemessagehadgotthrough.Thenextstepwastoasktheyoungpersonwhathethoughttheyshoulddo,towhichhereplied,“callthePolice”.Theworkersthenexplainedthatinthisinstancetheydidn’tthinksuchanapproachwasnecessaryandprobablywouldn’tbehelpful.Theydid,however,expresstheirconcernattheriskthatheputhimselfandothersinandthedifficultieshehadaccusedtoprogramstaffandotherclients.Thequestionofasuitableconsequencethenhadtoberesolved.Togetherthethreeofthemworkedouttheconsequencesbutitwasclearwhohadthefinaldecision,theworkers.Itwashischoiceastowhetherhewantedtofollowthrough.Hedecidedhewould.Ifhedidn’tfollowthroughaconsequencewasputinplace.Hewouldbebannedfromthedayprogramandresidentialprogramforamonth.Evenso,theorganisation’soutreachworkerswouldstillstayconnectedwithhimandhelphimfindaccommodationorbearoundincaseofanyemergencies.Thenhecouldcomeback.Atdinnerthateveningtheyoungmanapologisedtotheyoungpeopleintheunitandtheresidentialstafffortakingthecarand“muckingthemaround”.Hewashedthecar,asarrangedandheworkedwiththeresidentialworkerduringthatweek,toplanwhatgroceriesneededtobebought.Hethenwentwithhertobuythem.Bydoingthishelearnedthevalueofgroceries,alittlebitaboutbudgetingandalotaboutmealplanningandshopping.I’mnotsurewhatwasarrangedtohappenifhedamagedtheorganisation’spropertyorstoleacarfromthemagain.AsfarasIamawarethatdidn’thappen.Ifitdid,moreextremeconsequenceswouldneedtoapplywhichcouldeventuallymeanexclusionfromtheprogramorinvolvingthepolice.

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Theworkersinthiscasehadfollowedthroughonthepromisenottocallthepolice.Thekidstayedconnectedandhadtheopportunitymakeamends.Theworkersinvolvedbelievedhelearnedsomethingfromtheexperience.Whatmighthavehappenediftheworkerhadfoundouttheyoungmanswhereaboutsandsimplycalledthepolice?Therearethosewhofavourthisapproachinallcases.Therationaleisthattheyoungpeopleneedtobe“taughtalesson”sotheywon’tcontinuetobehaveinthesamewayinthefuture.Thegoalisbehaviorchange.Thelessonthiskidwouldmostsurelyhavelearnedisthathiscorebeliefsabouthimselfandtheworldareright.Icanjusthearthemringinginmyears.“I‘mtrouble,I’mnogood,I’mhopeless,no-onecaresaboutme,youcan’ttrustadults”.Byactinginanantisocialwaythesecorebeliefsareplayedoutandtheexpectationisthattheywillbeconfirmed.Theseworkerspositionedthemselvesinsuchawayastobeabletoexploresuchbeliefswiththeyoungpersonandhelphimtounderstandmoreabouthimself.ThereisthenreasontohopethathemayfindmoreresponsiblewaysofbehavinginthefutureDoesanyonethinkthatthePolicearegoingtochallengethesenegativecorebeliefs?Whowillenablehimtounderstandhimselfmoreandendeavortofindnewwaysofoperatingthatarenotsodestructiveandconfirmingofhisnegativecorebeliefs?Onethingisforsuretheservicethatexcludinghimwon’tbeundertakingsuchwork,becauseinmostcasestheywillhavenothingmoretodowithhim.Wheretheapplicationofthelimitsarehandedovertoanotherbody,suchasthepolice,withtheirownsetofpolicies,proceduresandagendasthelimitsettercanlosecontroloftheprocess.Therecertainlyaretimeswhenthepoliceneedtobecalled,particularlywhenthesafetyandsecurityofothersisbeingputunderthreat.Itismosteffectivewhenthisisapartofanintentionalandclearlydefinedprocess.

7. ConstantlynegotiateArrangementsbetweenyoungpeopleandlimitsettersneedtobereviewedandrenegotiatedonaregularbasis.Itisusuallypreferablefortheyoungpersontotalkthisthroughratherthanactthemout.

8. SharingexperiencesoutsidethelimitsettingroleSharingexperienceswiththeyoungpersonoutsidethelimit-settingroleofferstheyoungpersonthechancetoviewthelimitsetterinadifferentway.Dependingontheactivity,rapportcanbebuiltwhichmayleadtoastrongercommitmenttounderstandingwherethelimitsetteriscomingfrom.Thesameapplieswiththelimit-settersviewoftheyoungperson.

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9. Ensurethatprotectiveenablingrelationshipsexistandarerobust

Giventheentirethrustofthisarticlethispointhasalreadybeenmade.

10. Processesfordeterminingactionwhenapplyingpredeterminedconsequencesisinappropriate

Asimportantasitistobeclearandtofollowthrough,everycontingencycannotbecovered.Itwouldbesadtothinkthatsomeoneinsistedonenactingaparticularconsequenceevenwhenitcouldseriouslyincreaseharmtotheyoungpersonand/orothers.Ifadecisionismadenottofollowthrough,itisessentialallpartiesinvolvedknowwhy,especiallytheyoungperson.Oncethishashappenedamoreappropriateresponsecanbeworkedupandcommunicatedtoallinvolved.Itisimportantthatthisdoesn’thappenonaregularbasis.StatutoryworkersaslimitsettersTheStateisoftencalledontointervenewhenincasewhen:

• no-oneisperformingthelimitsettingrole• thelimit-settingroleisn’tbeingperformedadequately• whoeverhasresponsibilityforthelimitsettingisexploitingorharmingthe

youngpersonorunabletoprotectthemfromthesameWhenaprotectiveworkerorcontractedcasemanagertakesonstatutoryresponsibilityforthe"Guardianship"ofayoungpersonacoreroleistosetlimitsaimedatreducingriskandpromotinghealthydevelopment.ThisclearlyiscommensuratewithrequirementsoftheChildren’sandYoungPerson’sAct.Asmentionedabove,thismeansthatthereareissuesthatyoungpeoplewillnotdiscussatall,oratleastinanydetail,withtheirProtectiveworker.Protectiveworkersroutinelyassistyoungpeoplewithsubstancerelatedproblemsandissuesthatdon'tinvolvesettingormaintaininglimits.Theinstanceswhereyoungpeoplearelikelytokeepdetailsrelatingtosubstanceusehiddenarewhen:

• Theyfeellikeitismoreoutofcontrolorhighrisk• Heorsheishighlydependentonsubstanceuseasawayofmanaginghisor

herlifecircumstancesandbelievesthattherearenoothereffectiveoptions(theseyoungpeopleareoftenreferredtoasself-medicators)

• Ayoungpersonisaeithernotinterestedinchangingtheirdrugusingbehaviouroronlycontemplatingitandisbeingcoercedintodoingso.

Thesearetheverytimesthatsomekindofprotectiveinfluenceisrequired.Itislogicalthenforaprotectiveworkerorcasemanagertoengageoneormoreprofessionalenablersplusenlistthesupportofotherenablersalreadyinayoungperson’slifewhoarecapableofhavingaprotectiveinfluence.Itisadvisabletoworkwiththoseothersthatayoungpersonnaturallygravitatestowards.Theserelationshipsarerarelytotallyconstructiveordestructive.Theideaistounderstandwhattheymeanandwhatparttheyplaysoasmaximiseanybeneficialaspectsandreduceharm.

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ThecomplementaryroleoftheAODworkerAnAODworkerisaprofessionalenablerintheperfectpositiontoprovideacomplementaryrelationshiptothatoftheProtectiveworker.Thereisanopportunitytoestablisharelationshipwiththeyoungpersonthatprovidesaforumfortheinformationregardingthesubstanceuseandrelatedissuestoberaisedanddealtwith.Ofcoursetherewillalwaysbethingsayoungpersonwon’tdiscuss.TheaimoftheAODworkeristomaximisethepotentialforissuestoberaised,discussedandworkedthrough.TherewillbetimeswhentheprotectiveworkerforcestheyoungpersontoseeanAODworker.StrategiesthattheAODworkermightadopttomaximisethepotentialfortheyoungpersontochoosetoengageintherelationshipinameaningfulwayarediscussedbelow.ItisworthnotingthatitisusefulfortheAODworkertobefromadifferentorganisationwithdifferentrequirementsforrecordingandactingoninformationpassedonbyaclient.Theissuesassociatedwithwhatinformationwouldbepassedon,inwhatform,andforwhatreasonisalsodealtwithbelow.TherewillbetimeswhentheAODworkerdisagreeswiththedecisionoftheProtectiveworker.Atthosetimesitisessentialthataprocessbeinplacewherethiscanbedealtwith.Exacerbatingconflictbetweenaprotectiveworkerandayoungpersonwillputtheyoungpersonmoreatriskinalmosteverycase.Thesamegoesforcomplainingtoayoungpersonabouttheworker.Effective“complementary”enablingrelationshipsIhavealreadycoveredwhatenablingrelationshipsareandtheroletheyplayinayoungperson’slife.Ihavementionedthatnotallenablingrelationshipshaveaprotectiveinfluenceontheyoungpersoninvolved.ThefollowingarethefeaturesofwhatIbelievetobeeffectiveenablingrelationships:TrustandopencommunicationIfanaimofanenableristogetasmuchrelevantinformationontheairaspossible,trustisessential.Thisillustratestheimportanceoffollowingthroughoncommitmentsthataremadeandbeingupfrontwithyoungpeople.AccessibilityanddesirabilityYoungpeopleandtheirfamiliesshouldknowexactlyhowandwhentheycanaccessanenabler.Itispreferableforprofessionalenablerstobeflexiblewiththehoursthattheyofferyoungpeopleforcontactandalsoasimmediateintheirresponseaspossible.Theaimistomakebeingthisrelationshipaseasyaspossiblefortheyoungpeople.Thisdoesnotmeanavailability24hours,7daysaweek.Everyonehaslimitsandyoungpeopleneedtolearnhowtorespectandlivewiththisfact.Organisationswhomakesuchpromisesofavailabilityneedtobeabletofollowthroughorriskloosingallcredibilitywiththeyoungpersonandothersinvolvedintheirlives.

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Thoughtalsoneedstobegiventothehealthandwellbeingofworkersundersuchexpectations.Therelationshipalsoneedstobeattractivetotheyoungperson.Thishighlightstheneedforworkerstobeapproachable,friendlyandwillingtolisten.Workersalsomakethemselvesdesirablewhentheyhavesomethingtoofferthattheyoungpersonisinterestedin.PracticalapplicabilityandusefulnessAsurefirewaytointerestayoungpersonistoassistthemingettingresults.Thisinvolvesunderstandingtheissuesandknowingtheoptionsavailabletoyoungpeopleaswellhashowtoaccessthem.ClarityandflexibilityAlothasbeensaidaboutwhybeingcleariscrucial.Enablersalsohavetoshowthemselvestobeflexibleandresponsivetogivetheyoungpersonthemaximumpossibilityofbeingunderstoodforwhotheyare.Thesecretistomaintainadynamicbalanceratherthanbeingtoooneortheother.ResilienceTherelationshipsthatprofessionalenablershavewithkidsneedtobeabletoridethebumpsandstayontrack.Theyarebestwhentheyexistinyoungpeople’smindsasaconsistentforceovertime.Evenforayoungpersontoknowthatsomeoneistherethatcaresforthemandcanassistwhennecessaryincreasesayoungperson’ssenseofsecurity.ContactwithlimitsettersProfessionalenablersshouldatleastunderstandhowthelimitsettingfunctioninayoungperson’slifeisbeingcarriedout.Inmanycasesitisessentialforaprofessionalenablertobeintouchwiththelimitsetter/s.Howeveritisalwayscrucialthattheyoungpersonknowsthatthisdoesn’tminimisethespaceyouhaveforthemorthefactthatyouarethereforthem.Relationshipsareatwowaystreet.Thefollowingisanattempttodefinewhat,ingeneral,arethepersonalqualitieseffectiveenablermightpossess:

• Concernforthesafetyandwellbeingoftheyoungperson• Somethingtoofferandaninterestingwaytoofferit• Awillingnesstolistenandunderstand• Respectfortheyoungperson’sstoryanddreamsforthefuture• Realisticoptimism• Practicalabilityandstrongselfefficacy• Creativitybalancedwithapreparednesstobeaccountable• Clarityaroundtheirroleintheyoungperson’slifeasaworkerbutnota

friend.Professionalenablers

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Iwouldexpectthatmostpeoplebeingpaidtoadoptenablingrolesinyoungpeople’slives,suchasyouthworkersorAODworkers,wouldhavetheabovetraitstoatleastsomeextent.Theyshouldbeabletoarticulatetheintentionsorgoalsthatunderpintheworkthattheyundertakeandbeaccountable.Eachcourseofactionshouldhaveanaccompanyingrationaleanditseffectivenessevaluated.Youngpeoplewillattimesactivelyseekassistancefromaprofessionalenabler.WhenIworkedatTaskForcethroughtheearlyandmid-ninetiesourself-referralratewasconsistentlyover40%.Thesewereyoungpeople,oftenfromverymarginalisedbackgrounds,whowereexperiencingdifficultiesrelatingtotheirdruguseandwantedhelp.Inmanycasesthatdidnotmeanthattheywantedtostopusingdrugs,itmeantthattheyhadarangeofassociatedproblemstosortoutanddidn’tknowhowtomanagethemselves.Iftheyoungpersonwantedtostopusingdrugs,wewereintherehelpingthemtodoso.Forusitwasn’taboutwhethersomeonedidordidn’tusedrugsitwasabout:

1. Helpingthemdeveloporfindsometoolsthatwillincreasetheircapacitytocopebetterwiththeircircumstancesandmaketheirdevelopmentaljourneyeasier.

2. OfferingsupportandrefugealongthewaywhenthegoinggetsroughOftenitisaparentorguardianinalimitsettingrolethatencouragesorevenforcesayoungpersontomeetwithaprofessionalenabler.Theyoungpersonmayattendvoluntarilybutinthesecasesitisusuallyundersufferance.Ifthiscounselloristohaveanyimpactinthatyoungperson'slifetheyoungpersonwillhavetochoosetoallowthemtodoso.Beforeayoungpersonsharesintimatedetailsregardingtheirlifeortakesanycuesfromanenabler,trustandrespectneedstobedeveloped.Timeforacheesycliché’

Youcanleadahorsetowaterbutyoucan’tmakeitdrink.Flowingfromthisoldsayingisaquestionthatallprofessionalenablersneedtohaveananswerfor,“howcanImake‘drinking’anviableandattractiveoption”Thebestwaytoputforwardmyideasonhowthisquestionmaybeansweredistouseacaseexample.ThestoryofMarkMarkwasjustturning16whenIfirstmethim.Hewasinprotectivecare,livinginwhatwasthenashort-termunit.HewasalsoonaYouthAttendanceOrderwithJuvenileJustice.Hehadbeenforcedtocomeandseemefor"drugcounselling"againsthiswill.Soourrelationshipstartedwithhimgivingmethesilenttreatment.IwasexpectingMarktoreactthiswayasIhadbeeninvolvedinacaseplanningmeetingpriortohisreferral.IwasinvitedtheretogivemyperspectiveandseewhatImightbeabletooffer.AtthemeetingIheardthatMark'splacementattheshort

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termunithelivedinwasclosetobreakingdown.Thestaffwerefrustrated.Theysaidthathewasconstantlyaggressive,he'ddamagedpropertyonseveraloccasions,he'dspraypaintedthefenceandthesideofthebuildingandheoftendisappearedfordaysonend.Markwasn'tinvolvedinanyconstructiveactivitieslikeschoolorsportorthelike.Thebigconcernatthemeetingwasthathewassmokingmarijuanaintensively,althoughtheyhadfewdetails.Ofcoursehewaskeepingit"offtheradar".Mybigconcernwasthatalltheprofessionalrelationshipsinhislifeatthatstagehadbeen"tarredwiththelimitsettingbrush".Consequently,hisrelationshipswithworkerswereconflictualalthoughhedidgetonbetterwithsomemorethanothers.HisJuvenileJusticeworkerwasone.WhenIaskedaboutotherrelationshipsofsignificanceIwastoldabouthisolderbrotherwhowas19anddependentonheroin.Hewastheonlyknownenabler.Hewasdefinitelyatriskintheimmediatesenseandinthelongerterm.IsuggestedthatIcouldseeMarkbutthefocuswouldn'tbeondrugs,itwouldbeonengaginghimandbuildingrapport.Iwantedtopositionmyselfassomeonehecouldtrustandwouldturntowhenheneededinformationortosortsomethingout.IexplainedthatIneededtosetmyselfupasaworkerdiscretefromthosewiththelimitsettingrole.Inmyopinion,takingdrugsofftheagendawastheonlywaytogetthemonit.Ofcourse,clearaboutarrangementsaroundconfidentialityandinwhatcircumstanceswouldIdeemtherisktoMarkorotherstobeenoughtopassinformationonhadtobeestablished.ThearrangementwasforhisJuvenileJusticeworkertouseherpowerstomakehimseea"drugcounsellor"foratleast6sessions.Myagencywassomedistanceawayandsheprettymuchdraggedhimover,kickingandscreaming.Actuallykickingandscreamingmayhavebeenbetterforherthantheloud,hardcore,deathmetalthatshehadagreedtolethimplayonthewayover.WhenhearrivedItriedtomakehimfeelwelcome.Iofferedhimtea,coffeeorhotchocolatebutherefused.IknewthathewouldthinkthatIwasgoingtotryto"gethimoffdrugs"andgivehimthe"drugsarebad"line.IalsoknewthathethoughtthatIwouldbethehiredhandofhisJuvenilejusticeworker.ForthisreasonIaskedMarkandhisJuvenileJusticeworkerintomyofficetoinformthembothatthesametimewhereIwascomingfrom.Thisincluded:

• ThatIwasn'theretogethimoffdrugsbutthatIwouldbeavailabletodiscussanysubjectrelatingtodrugswithhim

• Thattherewasnopre-requisiteforhimtotalkwithmeaboutdrugs• ThatIcouldgivehimahandwithawholerangeofissuesandgaveexamples

likeHousing,health,legalproblemsorquestions,personalstuff,etc• ThatIamavailableforthenext6sessionsandthatwithintheboundsofthe

organisationalpolicies,hecouldchoosehowwespentthetime.TheJuvenile

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JusticeworkerconfirmedthatshewastheonerequiringMarktoshowupforthe6sessions.

• Finally,IexplainedthatourconversationswouldbeconfidentialandthatIwouldnotrunbacktoJuvenileJusticeorProtectiveServiceswiththedetailsofwhatwediscussed.TherewastheobviousprovisothatifIthoughthewasatrisktohimselforothersIwouldpassinformationonbutonlythatrelatingtotheparticularrisksituation.

NeitherMarknorhisworkerhadanyquestions.Hisworkerthenleft.Iaskedhimwhathethoughtofallthattowhichhebarelygrunted.ThenextthingIaskedwashowhefeltaboutbeingforcedtoseeme.TowhichIreceivedanothernon-committalgrunt.Iexplainedthatitwouldpissmeoff.Ithenaskedhimwhathewantedtodo.HeshruggedhisshoulderandImadeafewsuggestions:thepoolhallforagame,checkingoutthelocalshops,playingbasketball.NothingregistereduntilImentionedthelocalamusementparlortheprospectoffreevideogamesforanhourwastoomuchtopassup.TherestofthatsessioninvolvedmebeinghopelesslyoutdrivenontheDaytonacarracingvideogame.HewastheexpertandIthenovice.HelovedbeatingmeandIwasadramaticloser.ItryhardandIwouldsaythatI'mfuntobeat.Bytheendofthesessionhisresentmenthadturnedtopityforme.WefinishedupandIknewthateventhoughinonewayhehatedhavingtocomebacknextweek,hewaskindoflookingforwardtoit.Inthefollowingthreeweeksthesessionswerealmostexactlythesame,achatinmyofficetostartandthenofftoplayDaytona.MarkandIweregettingonwellandIwasgettingbetteratDaytona(IwouldsayinfactthatIamoneofthebestover35'saroundintheDaytonaworld).IkeptlettingMarkknowthatIwasthereforhimifhewantedtotalkaboutanythingbuttheofferwasalwaysdeclined.Weekfivewasdifferent.Thetalkstartedinmyroomanddidn'tfinishuntiltheendofthesession.ThefirstthingInoticedthatdaywasthathehadacopyof"ForWhomtheBellTolls"byHemmingway.ItturnedoutthatMarkwasavoraciousreaderandinhisownwayveryarticulate.Thishadnothingtodowithhis"problems"andhefeltconfidentaboutdiscussingbookswithme.Hewasactuallyquitepassionateaboutit.Isuggestedtohimthatheexploretheoptionofgoingbacktoschooland,whilehehadhisdoubts,hetoldmehewouldlikemetogivehimahandtodojustthat.Thentheconversationmovedtodrugsandotherissues.Idon'tneedtogointodetailbutitisimportanttosaythathehadalotofquestionsaboutmarijuana,whichwashisdrugofchoice,andheroin.Hehadalreadyusedheroin4timesinthepast6months.Ofcourseno-oneinaguardianshiprolehadanyknowledgeofthis.Hisbrotherhadinjectedhimeachtimeandatthatstageitstillmadehimfeelsickwhenhefirstused.Thebigconcernwastheriskthatheputhimselfin,unwittingly.Hehadfoundoutmostofhisinformationaboutdrugsfromfriendsandhisbrother.Mostofitwas

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inaccurateormoretothepointdownrightdangerous.So,Iwasinapositiontofillhimin.Ialsofoundthathehadrealdoubtsaboutwherehewasheadingingeneralandinrelationtothedrugs.Hementionedhishurtandfrustrationatnotbeingabletolivewithorevenseehisparentsinanunsupervisedvisit.Iwon'tgointoitbuttherewhereverygoodreasonswhytheselimitswereinplace.ThediscussionthatIhadwithhimabouthisrelationships,inparticularthosehehadwithlimitsetters,wasmostinteresting.Heactuallyhadsomecapacitytoseeitfromtheirperspectiveonsomeissuesbutstruggledtomanagehisfeelingsofangerwhenhefelttheywerebeingunfairorwhenhedidn'tunderstandwhytheyweredoingwhattheyweredoing.Itraisesanareainwhichaprofessionalenablercanbeveryhelpful.AprofessionalenablerlikeanAODworkercanassisttheyoungpersonto:

• Workthroughhowtheyfeelaboutthelimitsbeingimposed• Workouthowtheywillmanagewiththoselimitsinplace• Understandtherationaleofthelimitsetterforworkingtocontainorlimit

behaviorsthatareriskyorharmful.• Assisttheyoungpersonindefiningforhimselforherselfwheretheybelieve

thelineshouldbedrawnaroundparticularbehaviors.Inotherwordsenablingayoungpersontodevelopideasaroundwhattheybelievetobefairandreasonable.

MydiscussionswithMarkcoveredthoseissues.RememberhisJuvenileJusticeworkerwaspickinghimupandtakinghimtoseeme.Theprocessofdoingthisweekin,weekoutmeantthatMarkbondedwithherandactuallyhadalotofrespectforher.Tohimnow,shewasahumanbeingnotjustafacelesslimitsetterfromthe"department".Hecametorealisethatshewassettinglimitsbecauseshecaredabouthimnotbecauseshewasatyrantouttopushhimaround.ShewasreliableandcaringandthroughspendingtimetogetheroutsidethatoflimitsettingshecametoknowMarkinadifferentway.Onedayweallhadabigbowlingdate.ItwasgreatfunandverygoodforMark’srelationshipwithher.ThiswastheprofoundshiftforMarkandhewentontomakealotofconstructivemoves,whichincludedgoingbacktoschoolandmaintainingaplaceofhisown.Hewasstillusingmarijuanabutnotheroin.HechosetocontinueseeingmeandJuvenileJusticeworkerwellafterhisorderfinished.Idoknowthatheisstillaliveandthathehashadnofurthercriminalcharges.Idon'thowheisgoingotherwisebuttheyaregoodenoughindicatorsforme.WhenLimitsettersandenablersdon’tworktogetherTherearetimeswhenlimitssettersandenablersbecomeconflictedandendupworkingatcross-purposes.Itusuallyoccurswhenthelimitsetterandtheenablerhave:

• differentintentionsorgoals• alackofrespectforandbeliefintheimportanceeachothersrole

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• sharedintentionsorgoalsbutareunawareofthisfact.Thusengenderingalackoftrustandknowledgeofeachother'srespectiverationales.

• differentinterpretationsofhowtheseintentionsorgoalsshouldbeenacted• differingperspectivesofriskanddangerandhowitshouldbeactedon• differingassessmentsandunderstandingofthedrugrelatedissuesandhow

theyarebestdealtwith• alackofpreparationandcaseplanning• alackofreviewandongoingcommunicationprocesses

Ifthedivisionsthatcanexistmeanthatresponsesforyoungpeoplearerendereddysfunctional,carefulevaluationisrequired,sotheissuescanbeidentifiedandresolved.Itallsoundsabittoosimple.Iunderstandthatitrequiresacommitmentoftime,resourcesandwillandthatthesecommoditiesaren’talwaysreadilyavailable.Still,itisaworthwhileinvestmenttomake.Ifpractitionersandagenciescontinuallyworkatcross-purposesandendupspendingtimeandenergyengaginginpowerplaysthepeoplethatpayaretheyoungpeoplethemselves.Seeifyourecognisesomeoftheaccusationsenablerssometimeslevelatlimitsetters:"You'reanazi""Talkaboutbeingamegalomaniac""You'vegotpowerissues""Youdon'tunderstandthiskid""Youcan'tseeitfromthiskidsperspective""you'resuchabusybody""Idon'ttrustwhatyouaregoingtodowiththisinformation"Ofcoursethereisalwaysthepossibilitythatinwhattheenablerissayinghasakerneloftruth.Somelimit-settersdoactintheirowninterestandareoperatinginanoppressivemanner.Evenifthisisthecase,whatgoodwillmakingsuchchargesdo.Howwillitleadtothelimit-setteroperatingmoreeffectivelyortheyoungpersontohandlethesecircumstances.Veryoftenthesecomplaintsarenotevenraisedwiththelimit-setter.Itisaverybigproblemwhenprofessionalenablersraisethesecomplaintswithyoungpeople.Inonesenseitmaystrengthentieswithayoungpersonbuttowhatend.Asmentionedabovetheobjectiveneedstomakethelimitsettingmorefunctionalandbeneficialfortheyoungperson.Ofcourseontheothersideoftheledgerlimitsettersmakeaccusationsthatmayalsoholdwaterbutareequallyproblematic:"you'rejustontheclient'sside”“You'recolludingwiththeclient”"Youjustwanttobepopular""Youdon'tunderstandwhatthiskidisreallylike"'you'returningthiskidagainstme"

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Attimesthelackofcommunicationandthedysfunctionpresentintherelationshipbetweenthelimit-setterandtheenablerisprojectedontotheyoungperson.Thefollowingareexamplesofhowoneworkermightframeittoanother:“Thiskid'ssuckingyouin"“She’sgotyouwrappedaroundherlittlefinger”“He’smanipulatingyouandyoudon’tevenknowit”"Thiskidsrunningringsaroundus"Itgetsveryconcerningwhenthelimit-setterandtheenabler,haveunresolvedtheirownissues,butdecidetoagreewitheachotherabouttheyoungperson.Remarkslikethefollowingoftenfollow:“Thiskidismanipulative”“Thiskidisselfish”"Thiskidisallovertheplace""Thiskidisrecalcitrant"Fromhereit’seasytotakeafurtherstep.Qualified,semi-qualifiedandtotallyunqualifiedpeopletostartmakingassessmentsorassumptionsaboutwhatparticularpsychologicaldisordertheyoungpersonmusthave.Borderlinepersonalitydisorder,antisocialpersonalitydisorder,conductdisorderarelabelsroutinelyappliedtoyoungpeopleinaccuratelyandwithoutrelationtocontext.Thesetagscanbehardtoshakeandareloadedwithassociatedassumptionsthatmaybearnorelationtothisyoungperson.I'vebeeninvitedtocaseconferenceswheretherethefrustrationandpessimismcomingfromworkersisobviousandtheyoungpersonisframedasthecommonfoe.Thesetendtobetheverycaseswhenworkersloathedbringingtheirownpracticeormotivesintoquestion.Imperativesforstrikingahealthybalance.Iwouldexpectthatorganisationswithstatutoryresponsibilities,aswellasthosereceivingfundingtodeliverservicestoyoungpeoplewhousedrugs,employworkerswhoareabletoaccountfortheiractionsandexplaintheirrationaleEffectiveandefficientcollaborationrequirespreparation.RelationshipdevelopmentCollaborativeworkingrelationshipsmustbeestablishedbetweenagenciesatanorganisationalormanageriallevelandatthelevelofworkersatthecoalface.Preparatoryforumswhereinformationabouteachothersservicesandthepoliciesunderwhichtheyoperateisdesirable.Theobjectiveistounderstandmoreabouteachothersservicerequirementsandpracticeapproach.Whenthishasoccurreditispossibletoestablishprocessesbywhichtherespectiveagenciescanworktogether.

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Itisalsobeneficialthatworkersfromdifferentagencieswhoroutinelyworktogetherhavetheopportunitytogettoknoweachotherandtrusteachotheronaprofessionalbasis.Thekeytoeffectiveworkingrelationshipsisindeterminingrealisticandwellunderstoodexpectation.Forthistooccuritisnecessaryforagenciesandworkerstooverttheassumptionstheymakeabouteachotherandtheclientswithwhomtheybothwork.CommonassumptionsandrealisticexpectationsExpectationsmustfocusonwhatcanrealisticallybeachieved.Expectationsbasedonanassumptionthatayoungpersoncanbechangedorfixed,particularlyintermsofdrugusearesuretoresultindisappointment.Howcanoneworkeroranotherbeheldtoaccountforthefactthataclientdidnotchange?Asworkers,regardlessofourparticularrole,wecancreateaclimatethatmakeschangepossiblebutsafetyisnotensured.Itisreasonabletoexpectworkersororganisationstoundertakeparticularprocessesandworkpracticesthatcanbecommunicated,agreeduponanddirectedtowardachievingacommongoal.Workersandtheorganisationsthattheyrepresentcanthenbeheldaccountablefortheiractions.IdentificationofSharedAgendas/Goals:IntermsofProtectiveunitsandAODworkersthereareseveralsharedinterests:

• Theyoungpersonshealth,safetyandwell-being• Reducinghighriskbehaviorsthatthreatentheyoungpersonssafety• Thesafetyofothersintheyoungpersonsorbitandtheinthecommunityin

general• Theyoungpersonsdevelopment• Openingupasmanylifeopportunitiesaspossible• Enablingtheyoungpersontomakethemostofthoseopportunities

Intheidealworldaprocessforsharingthisinformationwouldhaveoccurredpriorspecificcasework.Howeverprocessesforworkingtogetheraroundaparticularcasearerequired.AclearlydefinedanddetailedreferralandcaseplanningprocessItiseffectiveforstatutoryworkersandAODworkerstomeettosharetheirconcernsandinterestsinthis“case”anddevelopacommonintention.Withthatcommonintentionunderpinningtheworkthatproceedsfromthispointtheworkersengageinstrategicplanningtodetermine:

• Howtherequirementsoftheparticularstatutoryordercanbemetinawaythatfocusesontheyoungperson’shealthandwellbeingandmaximisestheirlifeopportunitiesinthefuture.

“Suspicious Minds” by Andrew Bruun YSAS 1998 24

• Particularstrengthsandattributesoftheyoungpersonandotherprotectivefactorsintheirlivesthatcanbeutilisedanddeveloped

• Whatisgoingwellfortheyoungperson• Theparticularroleseachworkerwilladoptandmodelforcollaboration.• Theparticularriskbehaviorsaroundsubstanceusethatwillneedtobe

effectivelymanagedinordertoassisttheyoungperson• Whenrisktotheyoungpersonandothershasbecomesoextremethat

informationneedstobesharedandactedupon• Aclearunderstandingofprocessesthatwillbeenactedifayoungperson's

highriskbehaviorsneedtobecontained.StrategiesforManagingPotentialDisagreementInthisarticleIwillrefrainfromgoingintodetailaboutconflictresolutionorgrievanceprocedures.However,thereshouldbeclearagreeduponmeasuresthatcanbeusedtomanagepotentialoractualdisagreementsbeforetheyimpactontheyoungpersoninvolvedortheirfamilies.Itispreferablethattheyoungpersonisn'tinvolvedinthisprocessorthatiftheyareinvolved,thatitisplannedandfunctional.Competent,realistic,optimisticstaffFinally,Staffarethemostvaluableresourcethatorganisationshave.Asmentionedaboveitisessentialthatthecorebeliefthatworkersholdisthatchangeispossible.Agenciesneedclearprinciplesfromwhichstaffworkbyandmustupholdhighstandardsofprofessionalconductwhileatthesametimevaluingdiversityinitsstaffinggroup.ConclusionCommongoalsforworkersfocusonprotectingtheyoungpersonandbuildingtheircapacitytobettermanagetheircircumstances.Thisreducesthenecessityofyoungpeopletorelyonsubstanceuseforsolutions.Workersandparentscansavethemselvesalotofanxietyandreducedangerandrisktotheyoungpersonandothersbypreparingwell-balancedrelationalstructures.ThanksforyourpatienceandIhopethisarticlehasbeenthoughtprovokingandisofuseinpractice.