Orinda Aquatics

Parent Meeting Overview

September 2015

Merging Success & Culture

Letter to ParentsWe founded Orinda Aquatics over twenty years ago, with the intent of creating something different, and something that would hopefully change the lives of young athletes. We believed unequivocally that in the process of developing young athletes, it was possible to build great leaders and cultures. As our overt focus is on swimming and the inherent pursuit of success, our deepest pride is in the backdrop and foundation of this program, and this extraordinary group. We could not be more proud of this organization and what it stands for, and our commitment to the greater lessons of life through sport, our commitment to putting character first, and our commitment to the community and to helping others. We sincerely hope that we have either had, or at some point will have, a positive effect on your children outside of the pool. Orinda Aquatics has truly blended success and culture in a powerful way, and the teams’ mission is now recognized by USA Swimming, ASCA, NISCA, and coaches around the world. It is our mission to show that integrity can be the most powerful force behind an athlete’s and a team’s success. And you have done that.

From a developmental perspective with young athletes, our focus and philosophy has been to develop well-balanced, efficient strokes that will support them as they grow, develop, and train and compete at higher levels. After thirty-five years of coaching, we not only believe this is the best way to develop young athletes, but should be the only way. From a personal perspective, we hope to develop true leaders in sports and in life, to foster an environment that would support kids of all ages, to rise above the social fray and pull, and to make positive decisions and life choices.

As you and your children move on through the sport, we would encourage the emphasis to be on those things that promote a healthy long-term swimming career and a healthy life. The time that a swimmer achieves only provides a glimpse of the process. It does not reveal work ethic, efficiency, team commitment, humility, a desire to pursue the sport, or a willingness to persevere in challenging times (which there will be). Be vigilant for these things and even be willing to abandon (early) success for the virtues and life lessons which can be obtained on a daily basis, with proper perspective. In sum, keep the focus on effort and attitude, on teammates and team success, and your child will succeed on a level that will be much more profound than a swim, a meet, a season, or an award. While many parents want early success, the real pursuit should be early growth.

Keys to Success for the young athlete Goals setting should be “top-down”, beginning with effort, attitude, and attendance. Efficiency and technique will be more importance in the long run than performance in the short run Emphasize the race over the time Make your child’s driving purpose to team commitment and to “making a difference”

We sincerely thank our swimmers and parents for supporting our team, our organization, and our message. As we close out our 2014-15 season, we look back at the great careers and commitments of our graduating class and look forward to a new and exciting season ahead.

Very sincerely, Donnie and Ronnie

“Today’s children are the future leaders in business, politics, and sports. People in such positions of authority encounter ethical dilemmas on an even grander scale. It is imperative for teens to learn about ethics and

wise decision-making today in order to equip themselves for tomorrow.” Life in Perspective

Organizational OverviewOrganizational Overview

Orinda Aquatics Year-round swimmingo 165 members, 21 years

Orinda Aquatics/Polar Bear Fall Swimming Programo 350 swimmers, 31 years, 3 sites

Orinda Aquatics Masterso 100 Members

Orinda Aquatics High School Pre-season swimmingo 100 swimmers

Orinda Aquatics Spring Clinicso 100 swimmers

Orinda Aquatics Character Campo 30 Campers (2015)

Orinda Aquatics employs twelve full and part-time coaches Orinda Aquatics supports local school fundraising Orinda Aquatics is a sponsor/partner of the NorCal Kids Triathlon and the Orinda

Foundation Orinda Aquatics is supporting the swimming efforts in Swaziland and Ghana, Africa Orinda Aquatics coaches volunteer in assisting local teams with program and staff

development Coaches are ASCA Level 5 (highest level) Coach on the Board of Pacific Swimming and The American Swimming Coaches

Association Coaches speak nationally/internationally on character and culture Orinda Aquatics is regarded nationally for developing high-character, student-athletes,

and for preparing swimmers for successful and healthy collegiate careers

Objectives of Orinda Aquatics

To serve the various needs of the swimming community To be a model program nationally in terms of athletic and character development To create collegiate opportunities for all swimmers To be the best youth sports program in the area

To continue to develop national and college level swimmers, and leaders To be the “best” overall USA Swimming program in the country

PuttingPutting Character FirstCharacter First

Why? Because…Why? Because…

Character is more important than success. People are more important than athletes. And, life is more important than sports.

“Character is the only secure foundation of the state.”

“The influence of putting “Character First” and the work of the Orinda Aquatics is among the most important work being done by any swim coaches in the world today. When it comes to creating value for our customers of all levels of swim skill, this is IT! - John Leonard, Executive Director of The American Swimming Coaches Association

“Ron & Don, we as coaches are charged with the responsibility of teaching athletes to swim but also, social skills, leadership, the value of a good education, nutrition, goal setting, accountability, discipline etc. When a coach is only interested in winning and forgets these other values, they are cheating their swimmers of the real benefits of a good competitive swimming program. Once again, thanks for the example you have set, congratulations on your award and keep up the great job.” - Mel Roberts, NISCA President (National Interscholastic Swimming Coaches Association of America)

Margaret Mead said,"Never doubt that a small group of committed people can

change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."

On behalf of USA Swimming, I would like to thank you for traveling to Boise to present your Character and Life Skills Clinic to the Boise Y Swim team. USA Swimming could not ask for better ambassadors for the sport than you and your brother, Ron. USA Swimming appreciates your commitment to the sport and is grateful for all you do to make our swimmers better people. Bruce Stratton, President of USA Swimming

Character/Character-Driven

Integrity

Respect Trust Effort Humility Team commitment Athletic growth Swimming success Swimming longevity

Performance-Driven Personal growth at risk Coach-swimmer relationship at risk Team environment at risk Team culture at risk Career longevity at risk

At OA, all swimmers are evaluated regularly in terms of: integrity, leadership, maturity, effort, humility, and team support.

Orinda Aquatics Group Developmental Plan

Junior 1 Junior 2/3 Senior 1/2 Senior 3/4

Skill Streamline, feel, balance, body line, distance per stroke

- technique in all strokes, starts,

turns

Advanced drills, "build" stroke, better

awareness and discipline, refine start and turn technique,

introduce stroke rates

Know drill sheet, drill discipline, know

stroke keys, train stroke rates, develop under water speed,

improve pacing, start and turn technique

and UW speed

Detailed stroke breakdown, pace, back

half swimming, aggressive stroke rates,

recovery, disciplined walls, turns as assets, disciplined recovery

TrainingLight aerobic

swimming, 50% skill/drill (all strokes), turn

technique, introduce

stretching, injury prevention,

introduce test sets, develop 200 IM,

underwater speed

Introduce/develop all energy systems,

increase test sets, increase aerobic

base/threshold in free and main stroke,

maintain stroke and turn technique while training, add pulling,

introduce longer events, introduce dry land, core, strength

training

Know energy systems/test sets,

train with purpose/ focus, more

pulling/resistance, increase kicking,

increase IM training, add aggressive

strength/core work, film (Dr. G),

attendance - optional

Increase threshold/Vo2Max for

free and stroke, increase stroke

training, pulling/resistance

training, aggressive IM training, increase

core/strength training, film (Dr. G).

Attendance at 90%

DevelopIntroduce training principles (general

- why, how), introduce team

culture, character, relationships with Jr and Sr groups,

HAVE FUN!

Training efficiency/maturity,

introduce leadership, humility, team

commitment, begin long-term planning, expand relationship

with Sr group

Zero tolerance for adverse behavior;

look for leadership, humility, and team

commitment. Elevate focus on training and

competing. Strong academics.

Leadership, humility, perseverance,

appreciation, vision, reach out to team, strong academics.

Team accountability. Attendance is 90%. Begin college focus.

Competition CBA+, JO, FW CBA+, JO, FW, All-Star Meets, Sectionals

CBA+, Senior Meets, Clovis shaven, HS, LC -

FW, Sectionals

Senior Meets, Clovis shaven, HS, LC - Santa

Clara, Sectionals, Junior Nationals

Orinda Aquatics Team Overview

SwimmersSwimmers

Coaches Coaches Parents Parents

Orinda Aquatics

Culture:Character

Driven, Nationally recognized National

Development200 Nat'l

swimmers20 Olympic Trials

Age-Group:#1 USAS under

200 "Best Practices"

Facility: Soda

Thee pool complexStaff:

Six coaches/150yrsLevel 5/ASCA BODSuccess at all levels

Organization:USA Swimming Club Recog. 4BOD Summit

OTC

College:90% compete, 25 Team Cap't.Strong support

Parent Goal:Best meet host

Best supportBest culture

Orinda AquaticsOrinda Aquatics SucceSuccess 2015

Orinda Aquatics was #1 in the nation in scoring for USA Swimming’s Virtual Club Championships for teams under 200 members for the 2015-2016 short course season. This encompasses over 2,500 teams. Of the 500 remaining teams, OA outscored approximately 465. A sincere congratulations to every member of OA. Finish breakdown was:

Nation – 34th Western states (13) – 9th California – 6th PacSwim – 3rd

Goals for 2016 235,000 Points or Top 20 in the Nation Best team culture in USA Swimming Best parent culture in USA Swimming

Meeting OutlineMeeting Outline Welcome

Handout Schedules on the website (calendar)

Agenda1. General Meeting - Donnie2. Group Overview - Ronnie

Senior – Ronnie Junior – Matt/Kevin/Marc

3. Q&A - all

Staff (bio’s on website) Donnie, Ronnie, Matt, Kevin, Marc, Sophie ASCA World Clinic/BOD

Board of Directors introduction Jim Lennon - President, Sharon Lee, Jean Follmer - Secretary, Jon Wheeler, Trent McDonald,

Renee Owyoung, Susan Strong, Jeff Jacobs – Treasurer/Ex Officio

The Swimming “World” (we have a macro view) Rec Age-group Senior High School College Water Polo

Parent overview Vision/philosophy to help create an organization second to none (triangle) Team behind the team Be different. Be better. Embrace and support the process Only positive and supportive (as with the team) Maintain a broad-based long-term development view (IMX, etc)

Parent Commitment - Welcome letter (policies)

Registration Recap (Matt/Sophie) New members

o Pre-registration on Websiteo Email or verbal confirmation from OAo PacSwim form to OA

Returning – Welcome back, on-line update Exemption – dissolved by OMPA Board Transfer – same as new, send Transfer form to PacSwim eScrip Review Behavior Policy

Host Meet philosophy Two additional meets Critical to financial position Obligatory to PacSwim Own facility (as opposed to San Jose) Pride of process (best in Pacswim) Would like to host Far Westerns – summer 2016 (Speedo is a sponsor)

Host Meet – Support Renee Owyoung – Meet Director Linda O’Brien – Parent Coordinator Holly Taifer – Official Coordinator

Host Meet policies Required regardless of entry in meet Buy-out No show/penalty

Timing at away meets

Team Support (committees) On Team Unify One job/no buy-out

Financial (outlined in letter) Dues increase Leaves of absence (only extended medical leave) HS water polo See’s eScrip

Merchandise – (form is on Website) Speedo/Policy See merchandise form Parent attire Included: Team suit (new), two caps, T-shirt, mesh bag Required:

o Workout: Cap, equipment: snorkel, paddles, finso Meets: Team suits, cap, jacket, t-shirt, backpack

Structure (on website) Workout schedule New Groups Meet schedule

Enter Marin (Senior) and AIA (Junior)

Policies Attitude/behavior (character) – parents and swimmers to read letter Attire (team and otherwise)/equipment Attendance Meet schedule Lessons/Outside lessons

Parent’s role with swimmer Unconditional (positive) support Six words “I did the best I could with what you gave me” Demand sincere effort, integrity, team commitment, academic focus, responsibility,

accountability Communicate with coaches (don’t wait) Swimmer as point of contact Always refer to the coach for anything swimming related Goal Setting – big picture

o Who did you beat? Who did you help?o What was your time? How was your race?o Time and place obsession is never positive or productive

Communication Weekly email updates, notifications, and news www.orindaaquatics.org – Please review-college, swim team info, links, etc.

o PLEASE “VERIFY” cell numbers for coach communicationo Twitter: @orindaaquatics (NOT social)o Facebooko Calendar for the year

New /continued IMX Tracking (see summary in handbook) Deck Pass (see summary in handbook) Junior/Senior Buddies Mentors for new kids Dry land (both groups) Mental Training Teambuilding Lessons/Clinics Drill week Skill week Character week/Character Camp Intersquad/Red-Blue Parent social Holiday parties Ice skating Rafting Water slides Jr. pool party

Coaching StaffDonnie Heidary Don@orindaaquatics.org 510-410-7946Ronnie Heidary Ron@orindaaquatcs.org 510-508-7966Matt Ehrenberger Matt2coach@comcast.net 510-375-1870Kevin Lai Kevin@orindaaquatics.org 203-739-9320Marc Cavallero mrcavallero@gmail.com 925-899-2010Sophie Lai Sophie@orindaaquatics.org 925-457-8818

Q&A

USA Swimming’s IMX Program

The IMX point system is created and heavily promoted by USA Swimming as a tool to encourage all participating USA swimming members to become well rounded swimmers and compete and master different events and distances. Once swimmers create an account with Deck Pass, USA swimming will automatically track and calculate each swimmers IMX points as long as the event is completed at a USA sanctioned competition. Rankings in the program is based on Power Points, a system created by USA Swimming and Hy-Tek. You can learn more about the Power Points system at www.usaswimming.org under members resource/ times/ Power Points.

The IMX system is broken into two parts: IMR (IM Ready) and IMX (IM Extreme). IMR is geared for swimmers new to the sport and is based on shorter events which are:9 & Under; 10-year olds: 100 Free, 50 Back, 50 Breast, 50 Fly, 100 IM (SC) or 200 IM (LC)

11-year olds; 12-year olds: 200 Free, 50 Back, 50 Breast, 50 Fly, 100 IM (SC) or 200 IM (LC)

13, 14, 15, 16, 17, & 18-year olds: 200 Free, 100 Back, 100 Breast, 100 Fly, 200 IMIMX is geared for more advanced swimmers and covers a wider range of distances which include:

9 & Under; 10-year olds: 200 Free, 100 Back, 100 Breast, 100 Fly, 200 IM

11-year olds; 12-year olds: 400 Free (LC) or 500 Free (SC), 100 Back, 100 Breast, 100 Fly, 200 IM

13, 14, 15, 16, 17, & 18-year olds: 400 Free (LC) or 500 Free (SC), 200 Back, 200 Breast, 200 Fly, 200 IM, 400 IM

Rankings can be found on Deck Pass and swimmers can see how they rank nationally or within their zone, even within their team!

Do you know your IMX Score? Do you want to see how your score is ranked – nationally, in your LSC and in the Zone? Do you want to have easy access to your best times? Do you want to connect to and follow your friend’s progress in the pool? Do you want to earn virtual patches for every achievement?

Download USA Swimming’s App - Deck Pass – to any device and get updated right away!

Deck Pass is a program created and promoted by USA swimming to give swimmers a tool to track their swimming progress, connect with friends, and to award and encourage swimmers to try different events through a comprehensive reward system. Deck Pass can be found in the App store or on USA swimming’s website, www.usaswimming.org. New users will be asked to create an account with USA Swimming, which can be done directly through the App.

SCOREBOARD1. Patches - swimmers can earn patches by competing in different events i.e., first ever 200 fly, 400 IM,

etc. There are literally hundreds of patches swimmers can earn with many different challenges.2. IMX - Swimmers can track their IMX points here and see where they are ranked nationally, LSC and in

the Zone.3. Times - A place to track season/lifetime best times4. Goals - Swimmers can input goal times and compare to their current best times5. Meets are automatically uploaded into each swimmers database as long as the competition is

sanctioned by USA swimming.

LOGBOOKThe Log Book is used to create a seasonal swim schedule and also a tool for swimmers to track their times if they compete in a meet that is not sanctioned by USA Swimming (i.e. OMPA)

GOALSSwimmers can create goal times for ALL events SCY and LCM. The goal tracker is a great tool that shows how close the swimmers are to their goal times plus their seasonal best times.

FRIENDSThis is a great way for the athletes to connect with their teammates and new friends. This allows swimmers to share their times, goals, patches earned and lots more.

TIME SEARCHA great tool for swimmers and coaches to quickly find USA swimming rankings and standards

So This Is Competitive Swimming, Russ Sampson, Clarence Swim Club, New York

First, let me start off by saying you have chosen the best sport for your child. The process of developing in an individual sport supports the life lessons that any parent would like to have instilled in their child. Character traits and lessons like time management, dedication, communication, goal setting, commitment, self improvement, sacrifice, overcoming obstacles, self worth, and pride. The reason I believe this to the best sport for development for your child is simple. Like life, what you put into swimming, you get out of it. Like life, swimming isn’t always easy; it isn’t always exciting; it isn’t always easy to love or even to like it. But like life, the rewards that it gives are the best kind: Pride in the journey and processes that you have taken to bring about a desirable outcome. Note the use of the word “outcome” and not “result”. Desired results should almost invariably be faster than actual. Desired outcomes take into account the journey, the friendships, the character growth, the actual results, the training, the relationships with the coaches, and the respect all that deserves.

I would also like to say that you have chosen the best sport because of the professionalism in our structure. USA Swimming is the single most decorated, successful and structured of any youth sport in the world. Our club employs professional coaches with a passion for the sport and a strong concern for each of our swimmers. Our Learn to Swim program offers the best 10 step process towards not only teaching your swimmer all four competitive strokes and water safety, but preparing them for success in the competitive side of the sport, should they choose to continue. Other youth sports are known for using volunteer parents with little or no background/training in the sport they are coaching. But patience is needed. Swimming can be a life-long endeavor. Success is relative to the competition you face, and there is ALWAYS better competition to be faced (one of the beauties of the sport!) Fast at 10 years old is not fast at 12. Being super fast at 12 may be marginal at 18 years old. And, often, slow at 10 does not mean slow at 18.

Understanding is needed. Our coaches have a plan, a structure and a direction for your swimmer. It includes the possibility of swimming in college (if the swimmer wants this) and a near continual progression through the sport with growth, development and results to bring about the desired outcome as noted before. Work with the coaches and support your swimmer. Communicate with the coaches and over time, take a back seat and allow your swimmer to communicate on their own behalf.

Knowledge is needed. Comparing your child to others is not healthy. Compare them to where they were a year ago, and what is reasonable for them to strive towards over the next year. If you have a 1st grader learning multiplication, it is not reasonable for them to learn quantum physics by 3rd grade. If you have two children, you see that they differ in the way they develop, learn, grow and mature and those differences are what makes them unique and special and not less or more adequate. Use the same principles when you start to wonder why Suzie, who used to be slower than your child in the pool, is now seemingly light years ahead.

As we move forward in the sport, take great comfort that your children are surrounded by great people, from the swimmers they share a lane with, to the coaches and parents that help run this club. Involve yourself as much as you can in facilitating your child’s efforts in this sport by getting them to practice and meets on time, by volunteering and/or officiating, by showing them that you care as much about their involvement as they do. Support them with kind words and appropriate praise for jobs well done. Let the coach’s coach, and let yourselves be the compassionate support system.

Parents, "Are you a Winning Parent?"Reprinted from Competitive Advantage – Sports Psychology Services and Resources

Answer each question with a 1, 2, 3 or 4. 1 = never true; 2 = occasionally true; 3 = mostly true; 4 = always true.

1) I get really frustrated and upset when my child performs below his/her capabilities. 2) I give my child critical feedback on his/her performance after each game. 3) If I didn’t push my child, he/she wouldn’t practice. 4) If my child doesn’t excel and win, I see very little point in them participating in their sport. 5) I can be very critical when my child makes mistakes or loses. 6) I set goals with my child in relation to their sport. 7) I think it’s my job to motivate my child to get better. 8) I feel angry and embarrassed when my child performs poorly. 9) The most important thing for my child’s sport participation is that they have fun. 10) I get really upset with bad calls by the officials. 11) Most coaches don’t know what they are talking about. 12) I keep a performance log/journal/statistics on my child’s performance so we can monitor his/her progress. 13) I feel guilty about some of the things I say to my child after they play. 14) I try to watch most practices so that I can correct my child when he makes mistakes. 15) When my child fails I can feel his pain and disappointment. 16) I think it’s important that my child gets used to having coaches yell at him/her to help prepare him/her for life. 17) My spouse and I argue about how I treat my son/daughter in relation to his/her sport. 18) I try to help my child keep his/her failures and the sport in perspective. 19) I’m never very concerned about the outcome of my child’s game/match/race. 20) I will not allow my child to be put down or yelled at by a coach. 21) If my child wasn’t so defensive when it comes to my feedback, he/she could become a better athlete. 22) It’s not my job to evaluate or criticize my child’s performances. 23) I feel that my child owes us a certain performance level given all the sacrifices we’ve made for him/her. 24) I believe my child’s sport belongs to him/her and not to me. 25) I just want my child to feel good about him/herself and be happy when he/she plays.

SCORING

Add scores for questions #1-8, 10-14, 16, 17, 21 & 23. (If you answered question #2 with a “mostly true” you add 3 points to the total score.) Subtract scores for questions #9, 15, 18-20, 22, 24, & 25.

INTERPRETATION

The higher the score, the more potential damage that you are doing to your child.

American Swimming Coaches Association Swim Parents Newsletter===================================================

On Holding Children Accountable, Guy Edson

A recent article, “Self-Esteem Lie” by Laura Caler, elicited a number of replies from coaches. To sum them up: “holding children accountable would be a lot easier if parents would take a step back and allow them to succeed and fail on their own.” Coaches love to coach accountability and responsibility. They know it leads to better performances. But more importantly, and every coach will tell you, coaching life skills is every bit as important as all the swimming stuff.

One former coach writes, “I am now in management and I can see that the younger people entering the workforce who have not been allowed to fail on their own, who have not received negative corrections, or who have been otherwise protected from negativity to their self-esteem are difficult to manage. Unfortunately, a coach’s ability to teach accountability is often interfered with by the parent.

A coach told me about the time he gave a warning to a swimmer who was late getting in the water for practice even though he observed him at the pool 30 minutes early. His warning was that on the next occurrence he would dismiss the swimmer from practice for the day. That evening he received a phone call from the irate parent telling the coach how difficult it was to arrange the transportation for getting the child to the workout and if he ever dismissed the swimmer from practice for ANY reason he would have to answer to the Board of Directors.

Another coach related to me the time at a swim meet when a swimmer was upset over her performance and asked “What can I do to get better?” The coach replied that coming to practice on a consistent basis would be the most important thing she could do. The father cornered the coach during a rare break time for the coach at the meet and demanded he apologize to his daughter for making her feel badly. She was “involved in many activities and was making as many workouts as she could” and her lack of improvement was the responsibility of the coach. These are extreme (but not uncommon) denials of a swimmer’s personal responsibility.

What is a coach to do? Here is an answer most parents do not want to hear: The coach will learn to coach those who are responsible differently from those who hide from responsibility. One coach writes, “We have to pick and choose who we are honest with these days. It isn't a matter of style but more a matter of who the parents are and their style. I have basically identified the swimmers I can be more honest and direct with and the ones I can't, because of their parents. In my group of Juniors I have one swimmer I can't be honest with. I just say, "Good job" and that's it. For others, however, they want me to push their kids and be up front and honest with them. So, I am. And they respond. And as these kids get older, they will be more and more handicapped because their parents will advocate for them, bail them out, and protect them so that when they get to college or out in the working world, they will have no experience with any criticism or any failure.

What’s a parent to do? Parenting expert Susan Brown of the Commonwealth Parenting Center in Richmond Virginia says to let your child fail. Learning to deal with failure, according to Brown, is part of becoming more responsible and accountable.

Are Parents Setting Kids Up for Failure by Pushing Too Hard for Success? By Lylah M. Alphonse, Senior Editor, Yahoo! Shine

Are parents harming kids by focusing on the wrong definition of success? No matter your socioeconomic status, as parents you want your kids to have a better life than you do. But instead of launching a generation of happy young adults who feel driven to succeed, parents who are hyper-focused on doing everything "right" have created a country full of kids who are stressed-out, burned-out, and depressed. According to psychologist and author Madeline Levine, "Our current version of success is a failure."

In her new book, "Teach Your Children Well: Parenting for Authentic Success," Levine says that parents are preoccupied with "a narrow and shortsighted vision of success," and that we rely on our kids to "provide status and meaning in our own lives." It's a harmful combination, weighing kids down with serious issues -- "stress, exhaustion, depression, anxiety, poor coping skills, and unhealthy reliance on others for support and direction, and a weak sense of self," Levine says -- when we should be trying to teach them to be resilient and independent if we really want them to succeed in life.

When people are too caught up in finding the "right" way to parent, they can end up being physically present -- perhaps too much so -- but emotionally disengaged. "While you think you're giving your kids everything, they often think you are bored, pushy, and completely oblivious to their real needs," Levine writes. A child's ability to succeed in life doesn't necessarily correlate to a parent's well-intentioned efforts anyway, says Bryan Caplan.

"Today's typical parents strive to mentally stimulate their children and struggle to protect their brains from being turned to mush by television and video games" pushing them instead to strive for academic success, he told Yahoo! Shine. "Yet by adulthood, the fruit of parents' labor is practical invisible. Children who grew up in enriched homes are no smarter than they would have been if they'd grown up in average homes."

But as parents push kids to succeed -- and try too hard to shield them from failure --their kids are soaking up the stress and increasingly unable to do anything without their parents' input.

"In the name of love, we parents have gutted our kids' sense of self-reliance and independence," David Arthur Code, author of "Kids Pick Up On Everything," told Yahoo! Shine in an interview. "It's as if we run out in front of our children, removing every obstacle from their path, or else showering them with positive reinforcement if they stumble. Sure, they feel safe and protected and loved -- for now -- but they never learn how to confront failures in childhood when the stakes are low, so when they become adults, they fold like a house of cards at the first adversity."

The result: A generation of kids and young adults who are afraid of failure, who engage in dangerous behavior in order to cope with stress they don't understand, or who don't know how to navigate life without their parents' guidance.

"The cost of this relentless drive to perform at unrealistically high levels is a generation of kids who resemble nothing so much as trauma victims," Levine writes. "They become preoccupied with events that have passed - obsessing endlessly on a possible wrong answer or a missed opportunity. They are anxious and depressed and often self-medicate with drugs or alcohol. Sleep is difficult and they walk around in a fog of exhaustion. Other kids simply fold their cards and refuse to play."

The solution? Levine suggests that parents step back and reevaluate what's important to them, create a new definition of success, and then focus on fostering resilience in their kids. "How would you ever know if you were capable or not if you didn't have to opportunity to try, fail, and pick yourself up again?" she asks. Levine says that parents who want to raise kids who can really succeed in life should focus on teaching them these life skills:

Resourcefulness. Teaching kids how to self-soothe, acknowledging that there may be several ways to solve a problem, and making them search for a solution slightly outside of their comfort zone can help kids learn how to make the most out of the situations in which they find themselves. That, in turn, helps them to be successful regardless of which path they take in life. But be patient -- children have limited resources, and it can take time to figure out what to do. It's tempting to try to rush them or, worse, save time by doing everything for them yourself.

Enthusiasm. "Without enthusiasm, kids are just going through the motions," Levine points out. One major parental pitfall is expecting your kids to automatically admire the same things you do. Instead of pushing your kids toward your own goals, observe their interests and remember that their aspirations don't have to be the same as yours.

Creativity. Academic excellence is all well and good, but some kids just aren't cut out for life on the Dean's list. The skills they learn from creative pursuits can help them learn how to think outside of the box, solve problems, and succeed in non-academic settings. Keep crafts within easy reach, Levine suggests, steer kids toward open-ended activities like reading and building with blocks, and offer plenty of positive feedback.

A strong work ethic. "In addition to focusing on effort, persistence, and discipline, do make sure to notice other components of a good work ethic like integrity or the ability to communicate and collaborate," Levine writes. Make sure that the work your child is expected to do is reasonable -- expecting a kindergartener to perform like a second grader just sets him up for failure and you for disappointment -- and be sure to show them that you can embrace hard work as well.

Self-efficacy. Along with having good self-esteem and self-control, self-efficacy -- the belief that we have a measure of control over what we do with our lives -- is crucial to success. "Don't project your own anxiety as your child moves forward," Levine writes. Doing so prevents kids from pushing past existing boundaries and trying new things, and robs them of their ability to solve problems on their own.

"We do not have to choose between a children's well-being and their success. Both are inside jobs. They are developed when kids are guided and encouraged to build a sense of self internally" Levine writes. "Ultimately, it is only our children themselves who pass judgment on their success, or lack thereof, in their lives."

PEAKS AND VALLEYS

Properly timing a swimmer’s training development can be tricky. The rules apply generally, but when it comes to specifics, former world record holder and club coach Sue Anderson found herself repeatedly asking, “Am I doing the right thing for this kid?”

Anderson, the resource development specialist for USA Swimming, recalls two 12-year-old girls she coached at the Scarlet Aquatic Club in New Jersey during the 1990s. Both surpassed Junior National standards when they were 12. Anderson held one back from the senior group and didn’t send her to Junior Nationals the first year she qualified. Anderson pushed the other girl right along, both with training and competition. Neither developed fully as a senior swimmer.

“It’s not a science,” Anderson says. “The only science to it is that you can’t count your chickens when the swimmers are 10 and beating everyone else. It could be because they trained too much. It could be because they were physically more mature and after a few years, others in their age group will catch up. Or it could be because they have real talent for swimming and will continue to develop. You just never know.”

Raedeke agrees. Improvement is never a given, not in swimming or any other sport. Slumps are part of athletics. Their causes can be as hard to pin down as next month’s weather. Problems arise when mechanics or training routines are scrutinized too closely. Very often, neither is the major problem. Nevertheless, athletes, coaches and parents demand answers when all that is needed is patience.

“As you get further into a sport,” Raedeke says, “improvements are harder and harder to come by. We all know this, but when you are the one affected, you want to change things even though the best course of action might be to wait it out.”

Pat Hogan knows a thing or two about waiting it out. In 1996, a swimmer he coached at the Mecklenburg Aquatic Club in North Carolina, Jilen Siroky, made the U.S. Olympic team in the 200m breaststroke as a 14-year-old. Though she continued to swim through college, she never got within three seconds of the time she did in the final of 1996 Olympic Trials. This is not uncommon for girls whose bodies change dramatically in their early teens. Siroky’s started to change immediately after the Olympics.

“She wasn’t the same swimmer,” recalls Hogan, USA Swimming’s managing director for club development.

A change in stroke technique didn’t work, though emphasis on other strokes helped, allowing Siroky to experience once again the joy of improvement. However, she never achieved the level of accomplishment that she did in 1996.

And yet, as Hogan says, “I was as proud of her the years after the Olympics as I was when she made the Olympics. As hard as she worked going into 1996, it was no different in ’97 and ’98. She struggled, but that’s one of the great things about our sport. When you are not improving, you begin to question, ‘Why am I doing this?’ You learn to struggle, and that’s good for kids. They learn a lot. You can’t enjoy the peaks unless you go through the valleys.”

Six Words You Should Say Today, Posted on April 16, 2012 by Rachel Macy Stafford

Very rarely does one sentence have immediate impact on me. Very rarely does one sentence change the way I interact with my family. But this one did. It was not from Henry Thoreau or some renowned child psychologist. It was a comment from kids themselves. And if I’ve learned anything on this “Hands Free” journey, it is that children are the true experts when it comes to “grasping what really matters.”Here are the words that changed it all:

“… College athletes were asked what their parents said that made them feel great, that amplified their joy during and after a ballgame. Their overwhelming response: ‘I love to watch you play.’” The life-changing sentence came at the beginning of an article entitled, “What Makes a Nightmare Sports Parent and What Makes a Great One.” Although I finished reading the entire piece, my eyes went back and searched for that one particular sentence; the one that said, “I love to watch you play.”

I read it exactly five times. And then I attempted to remember all past verbal interactions I had with my kids at the conclusion of their extracurricular activities. Upon completion of a swim meet, a music recital, a school musical, or even a Sunday afternoon soccer game, had I ever said, “I like to watch you play”?

I could think of many occasions when I encouraged, guided, complimented, and provided suggestions for improvement. Did that make me a nightmare sports parent? No, but maybe sometimes I said more than was needed. By nature, I am a wordy person—wordy on phone messages (often getting cut off by that intrusive beep) and wordy in writing (Twitter is not my friend).

And although I have never really thought about, I’m pretty sure I’m wordy in my praise, too. I try not to criticize, but when I go into extensive detail about my child’s performance it could be misinterpreted as not being “good enough.” Could I really just say “I love to watch you play” and leave it at that? And if I did, would my children stand there cluelessly at the next sporting event or musical performance because I had failed to provide all the “extra details” the time before?

Well, I would soon find out. As luck would have it, my 8 year old had a swim meet the day after I read the article. Her first event was the 25 yard freestyle. At the sound of the buzzer, my daughter exploded off the blocks and effortlessly streamlined beneath the water for an unimaginable amount of time. Her sturdy arms, acting as propellers, emerged from the water driving her body forward at lightning speed. She hadn’t even made it halfway down the lane when I reached up to wipe away one small tear that formed in the corner of my eye.

Since my oldest daughter began swimming competitively two years ago, I have ALWAYS had this same reaction to her first strokes in the first heat. I cry and turn away so no one sees my blubbering reaction. I cry not because she’s going to come in first. I cry not because she’s a future Olympian or scholarship recipient. I cry because she’s healthy; she’s strong; she’s capable. And I cry because I love to watch her swim.

Letters from OA Graduating SeniorsI’m not eloquent enough to adequately articulate what you all have meant to me in my journey over the past several years. But just for the sake of being cliché, I’ll say it anyway: You have made me who I am today.

Anyone who has experienced the rollercoaster ride that is high school can tell you that it’s not exactly a walk in the park. It’s not just the late nights, unsympathetic teachers, apathetic classmates, and multitude of extracurricular activities; it’s the fact that you have to decide who you are in the process. You have to decide what you believe in, what you stand for, and what your role is in the Big Picture. None of these dilemmas are avoidable, and none are easily resolved. When faced with these forks in my journey, I would have been left floundering without the firm base Orinda Aquatics has become in my life.

At every crossroads I struggled with, I fell back on what I learned here. I would remember how many people believed in and supported me, and remember the high character athlete and person I dreamed of becoming. Suddenly, my path would become clear.

I continue to be inspired each and every day by the spirit of this team. It manifests itself in the smallest, most beautiful details; a warm smile, a hug, a veteran swimmer patiently explaining a drill to a newcomer, a simple “How are you doing?”. I walk away from every practice reinvigorated and motivated to become a better person.

As I open the next chapter of my life, I know I will continue to rely on all that Orinda Aquatics has helped me learn about myself and what it means to be an athlete and a teammate. I hope to use this knowledge to go forward and inspire someone else in the way you all have inspired me. To each and every member of this team I have ever known, from those who were seniors when I joined to those I just had the privilege of meeting this year: thank you for everything, I love you and will miss you dearly. To Ronnie and Donnie: please continue making the world a better place, one person at a time. With love, Colleen O’Brien

Dear Orinda Aquatics,

I can only imagine where I would be today, right now, if I had never joined Orinda Aquatics back in seventh grade. I see myself spending this Saturday night in my parentless house with a dozen members of my high school’s top partiers, already a few drinks deep in my parent’s liquor, behaving like a sloppy mess. I see myself dancing with boys I don’t even like, breaking my mom’s glass top coffee table, and getting into a car with a girl who swears she’s safe to drive but clearly isn’t. And I wouldn’t even care. It would just be another typical Saturday night. Instead, I’m here sitting on my couch writing a letter to the team that changed the entire course of my life, the team that I owe everything to.

In middle school, I found myself, like so many others do, at a crossroads of sorts. The girls I considered my best friends were making choices that made me uncomfortable on all kinds of levels, but I could still feel myself slipping down with them. Looking back, I can see just how far I was about to fall. After joining Orinda in seventh grade, I made the choice to stop hanging out with those girls. Over time, I began to categorize my friends, as so many other swimmers do, as “school friends” and “swim friends.” It wasn’t long before “swim friends” was shortened simply to “friends”. My life went from slipping downwards, and slipping fast, to something entirely different and positive.

I have so much gratitude towards Orinda Aquatics for everything that the team has done for me over the past seven years. To the coaches, I owe not only my career in the pool, but also the relationships that I consider some of the most important in my life. I know that there are very few people in the world who would do for me what Donnie and Ronnie would in a heartbeat, and I cannot express how thankful I am to have these two people in my life. And to my teammates, well, I love you. We’ve been through a lot together and I know that in the end we’re here for each other. To the girls in my class, you have been amazing friends over the years, and I could not be more grateful. OA has given me so many lifelong relationships, and for that, there is nothing I can say but thank you.

After seven years of obediently following the mantra set on repeat in my head, only recently did I begin to consider what it really means to live character first. “Character First” was the basis for my entire high school belief system, but I never thought to look into its actual denotation. Like I said, this team, along with its character attitude, has changed my life for the better in countless ways, so there must be something right about it. Character is who you are, whether or not someone’s watching you, whether or not anyone notices, and whether or not there are consequences. Character is an accumulation of actions, words, thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes that can define a person for their entire life.

In the end, I think it’s important to consider what it really means before taking it on as a life motto. How can you live for something if you don’t know what it is? I now know and I am so grateful to Orinda Aquatics for not only shaping me into the person I am today, but also for making me realize who that person is. Because of Orinda Aquatics, I know my values, and I’m standing by them. I truly hope that the same has happened for my peers, and will happen for those to follow. OA Grad

Collin English, Johns Hopkins

There was a moment, four years ago, that I have always remembered. It was one of my first Saturday morning practices as a senior swimmer, and under the grim grey sky, I had a conversation with Ronnie Heidary. There are few things about that conversation that I remember, other than a discussion on those spectacular Berean High School swimmers that had come before me, such as Jill Jones and Chris Leon. In my memory it is clear as crystal, the moment when Ronnie turned to leave and said as an ending remark: "You have big shoes to fill". I have tried to fill those shoes ever since.

There was a moment, four years ago, that I have always remembered. It was under the burning sun of a summer practice that Donnie Heidary pulled me aside. Into my hands he put the workout from that day, and, before he walked away, told me to read the quote on the bottom. With slight confusion I looked down: "Only the mediocre are always at their best". I have struggled to not be mediocre ever since.

To the mindset of a headstrong freshman, these were comments and quotes that were meant to facilitate my athleticism. It was my dream to one day be as fast as Chris or Jill, and it was my goal to push my body beyond the point of mediocrity. I wanted to be stronger and faster; I wanted to be the best. But as my four years passed, my mind mellowed and became less headstrong, my dreams were not achieved and I began to question, and in this new situation I began to understand what Donnie and Ronnie had really meant.

Chris Leon had been more than a fast swimmer; he had been uncompromisingly dedicated, loyal, humorous, a friend, and a mentor. Jill Jones had been more than an athlete; she had been dedicated, kind, and the pinnacle of leadership. For a long time I had only seen the swim cap, but I had forgotten to read what had been written on it all along: "Character First". It is true that mediocrity can be found in athletics, but it is even truer that it can be found in character.

So to my coaches, Ronnie and Donnie, and to my fellow teammates, thank you for making me a better swimmer, but I thank you more for the lessons that will last me beyond the short limits of my swimming career; whether it be the work ethic that comes from finishing a threshold set, the discipline that comes from waking up early for morning practice, the social skills necessary to be positive that early, or the ability to accept defeat and better myself from it.

I am not the one to judge whether I have filled someone's shoes, and I am not the one to decide whether I have somehow escaped the bounds of mediocrity. But there is one thing I have firmly determined: that this team has made me a better person, and as I depart after four years, I cannot help but feel grateful. Collin

A College Essay written by an OA swimmer

This is an essay I wrote for college. Thank you for giving me the inspiration to write this.

Character First. Coming across the Orinda Aquatics swim team, the first thing noticed besides the sea of bright red t-shirts, is the phrase “Character First” plastered across shirts, caps, swim bags. More importantly, it is demonstrated by all of the team members. At the end of my senior year I will have been a member of this team for eight years. These eight years have transformed me as a person in various ways. I have blossomed as a swimmer, achieving times I never thought possible, pushing my body to its limits and further. Even more than that, I have become a better person.

Every Friday afternoon, after a grueling week of swim practice, school, and more swim practice, a normal teenager would escape home to relax and recuperate. Several times, I found myself envying these teenagers, but more often than not, I actually pity them. While my friends are bombarded with useless propaganda by various media outlets, I go to an OA team meeting. Although each meeting has a slightly different focus, they all center on the same theme of “Character”.

I, along with fifty other swimmers, dive into this theme, exploring all aspects of what it means for a person to put “Character First”. We often read articles about famous athletes from around the world who have overcome adversity to achieve success. This adversity ranges from a teenage boy who is the sole income-earner for his family, to a young swimmer who overcame cancer. Through every article, I gain another perspective on sports and life. Never give up, persevere, no excuse is a good excuse and always be humble, are just a few of the countless lessons I have learned through these stories. Another common topic that our team often discusses and debates are articles exploring moral values that often escape teenagers, such as cheating, lying, or respecting parents.

For many years, I took these meetings for granted. As I opened my eyes more to the world around me, I could see more clearly how not only teenagers, but adults as well, would take everything they have in their lives for granted and neglect to put character at the forefront of their life and their decisions.

It is my hope to be able to promote this “Character First” view of life to everyone I meet. Even though the message may be simple, it has made a lasting impression on not only my life, but also on every member of my swim team. Being on Orinda Aquatics has taught me the value of trust, humility, integrity, and hard work, just to name a few lessons. Reading article after article about regular people who do extraordinary things because they are the right thing to do has made me reflect on my own actions. If these people can change the world, then there is no excuse for me not to try.

Character has shaped my life for the better. It has opened my eyes up to a better way of living. I hope that I as continue on with my life past high school, I am able to fully live a “character first” life. At college, I will continue to do my best to live this type of live by example and help and encourage my new classmates and team members to do the same. Cassidy

“Build for your team a feeling of oneness, of dependence on one another and of strength to be derived by unity.” Vince Lombardi

New Parent Meeting: Topics and Points of DiscussionNew Parent Meeting: Topics and Points of DiscussionOA Team Philosophy

Based on thirty plus years of: Coaches personal swimming experience, coaching history in rec swimming, high school swimming,

USA Swimming, Collegiate Swimming Observation of youth personal and athletic development, social trends, etc. History of OA Access to USA Swimming Club Development and American Swimming Coaches Association A commitment to our kids’ personal growth, health, and happiness A clear objective to have our swimmers continue to develop beyond OA Learning life lessons through sports and maintaining an identity as an individual Nurturing and maintaining a strong team character culture

Rec vs. Year-Round/ Short-term vs. long termRec Swimming - General Development

8 & under Positive: social, speed, learn competition/racing Negative: too often success-oriented (not development oriented), stroke speed (not

distance-per-stroke) 9 & over

Positive: social - keeps kids in sport to varying degrees Negative: social – many kids don’t acquire “training mentality”, technical development,

endurance base/phase needed for high school/college No event development, i.e., 100’s, 200’s, 500

Social/near term success vs. long term development (technical/endurance/career) The swimming world is year-round (that is the high school and college competition) Multiple sports or activities vs. one main focus (pro’s and con’s)

The parent’s role with the child What matters – attitude and effort, health and happiness, what to demand/emphasize (life lessons) Early success vs. athletic development Uphold principles Support personally Help to create communication path with swimmer and coach

The parent’s role with the coach (how to communicate) Ask questions Convey important information Maintain a “team” filter

The swimmers role with the coach (primary communicator)Goals

Big Picture – life, skills Team - culture Individual – personal growth Athletic – attendance, focus, training maturity Swimmer – mastering workout objectives Times – the last and only “goal” that is not within your control

Training (see articles) Attendance/resistance to workout Dry land General development:

o All strokes (IMX)o Fitnesso Technique/balance

Technique (habits/responsibility) “Why didn’t you fix that?” Fundamental development Distance per stroke Turns/streamlining Specific focus/accountability Kids hurrying and not focusing

Competition Big picture (what do times mean?) Growth/development (no bad race – parents need to support) Meets

o How often/why?o Distance meets

Expectations Events Junior vs. Senior Plateaus

Water Polo Balance both Pursue one What is best?

Development/Progression Love of swimming/desire to swim (attendance) Love of training/desire to train (work ethic) Focus on technique (focus, efficiency) Embrace team philosophy as swimmers mature (character/team/sacrifice) Understand big picture (process, challenge) Prepare for high school swimming (high school development)

Participation, commitment, reality, social pressure What we generally see

Prepare for college swimming (collegiate experience/assistance) Mindset/preparation Become a student-athlete Division 1 to Division 3 - a program for everyone Collegiate development Collegiate leadership (OA captain history)

Athletics and life choices General discipline Academics Social pressure Ego, insecurity, self-centered perspective

Other Factors That Affect Age-group Development Other Factors That Affect Age-group Development The following are factors that affect swimmers development, ultimate success, and career longevity. These are things we consider and incorporate into our program.

• Skill Development • Race development • Athletic maturity • Perseverance • Leadership orientation • Team Commitment • Parent-swimmer relationships • Injury prevention • Coaching philosophy • Coaching continuity/fluidity • Knowledge/competence • Coaches (prior) experience • Equipment • Group progression policy/criteria • Academic focus • Efficient training• Fun/activities • Time frame (horizon) • Compassion • Parent Education • Culture • Integrity • Discipline philosophy • Workout presentation • Planning • Goals setting process • Connection to kids • Daily monitoring of activity • Swimmer interaction • Value creation • Passion and perspective • Flexibility• Vision• Role models• Ego management

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