synthesis weekly dec. 23, 2013 - jan 6, 2014

3 player teams. Sign up with bartender. Starts at 7PM

Thursday, February 13 The Pimps of Joytime: Pimps & Players Ball Tickets On Sale now at Downlo

8-BALL TOURNAMENT Sign-up 6PM Starts at 7PM

9-BALL TOURNAMENT Sign-up at NOON Starts at lPM

BECKY SAGERS

NITE THEATER

Twenty years! Twenty years of this janky-ass rap group who somehow won our hearts, and cemented themselves as Chico Legends. They started in a time when we used words like "janky" and "rap group," and now look at them : they've had their own day declared by the mayor, earned a vicarious PhD, and taken over half an issue of the Synthesis.

There is a fifth dimension beyond

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IMMACULATE INFECTION

PAGE 5 EDIBLE BITS

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that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call The Blue Room.

PAGE 18

ADIEU, AQUEUM The final wave of our Sci-Fi serial crashes onto your brain, along with my ability to make water puns in the table of contents. Will our hero ever break free of Aqueum and remember what he was thinking a minute ago? And what's to become of his dreamy companion? All will be revealed! Well, not all ; where's the fun in that?

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OLD CROCK

PAGE 17 SCENE REPORT

PAGE 18 FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR AMY OLSON AMY@SYNTHESIS NET

WHAT HAS BEEN, AND WHAT SHALL SURELY BE

My Birthday is always on the Winter Solstice (Every year! Weird, right?), and being so close to the Gregorian calendar change-over, I treat it as my personal New Year 's Day. Especially because people have always given me joint Christmas/Birthday gifts, and I feel less ripped off if I think of it as a non-gift holiday to begin with. This is a time for summing up the changes in my life, making promises and predictions, and talking myself into the idea that aging is awesome and I love it.

This year really was a big one. 35 was the year I opened up to my parents about all the weird secrets I'd been keeping, the year my mom got sick with cancer and died while I held her hand in mine, the year I reconnected with long lost brothers and cousins, the year my little brother got married, the year Dain dropped to one knee and asked me to spend my life with him, right next to the cat box in the hallway. 35 was the year I started working at the Synthesis, and became Managing Editor. 35 was the year I came to accept that I can't do anything about that wrinkle between my eyebrows no matter how much I moisturize, and it's just the price I have to pay for the crimes of my Viking ancestors.

I don't usually do a whole diet/weight loss resolution thing; not to brag, but I've got a pretty rockin' body (also I'm hella smart and good looking). I am, however, about to start doing a crazy hardcore strength training thing with Sarah Fragoso at her new gym, J&S Strength and Conditioning, because I think it would be awesome to start sharking people in arm wrestling contests. And while I'm at it, I'm going to have to get back into eating Paleo, because she' ll just KNOW.

My real resolutions are more on the social end: I don't see enough of my friends now that I only-ever work, which means I get a little burnt out, so I want to get them to come over and research the calendar for me while I drink wine and absorb their life force. Here's to the year of 36 A.A. (Anno Amynni), and becoming a super buff energy vampire!

DECEMBER 23 - JANUARY 5 3

HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM THE SYNTHESIS ART BY DAVID PLANT

NOW HEAR THIS Synthesis Weekly Playlist

AMY

DAIN

TARA

KATYA

COLIN

KURTIS BLOW - "AJ SCRATCH"

YULE LOGS - "CHRISTMAS FROM BERLIN"

STRAIGHT NO CHASER - "MR. GRINCH"

WOEM IS GREEN - "ARMY OF THEM"

CITY AND COLOUR - "COMIN' HOME"

M I KE HOT SINCE 82 - "BIGGER THAN PRINCE"

TANNER KYARY PAMYU PAMYU - "INVADER INVADER"

KATHY OSCAR ISAAC - "HANG ME, OH HANG ME"

LEON GRIP GRAND - "CONSERVATION OF MATTER"

4 DECEMBER 23 - JANUARY 5

PET OF THE WEEK ADOPT ME! This amazing girl is Sylvie. She is full of life, and happy to be free to run and play! If you have a ball, a hose, and hopefully, an inexpensive kiddie pool, Sylvie is ready for whatever you might have in mind ...

2579 Fair Street Chico, CA 95928 • (530) 343-7917 • buttehumane.org

SYJo!t~2~s!~~ DECEMBER 15 - JA NUARY 5, 2014

PUBLISHER Kathy Barrett

[email protected]

MANAGING EDITOR Amy Olson

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CREATIVE DIRECTOR Tanner Ulsh

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ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Amy Olson

[email protected] [email protected]

DESIGNERS Colin Leiker, Mike Valdez

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DELIVERIES Joey Murphy, Jennifer Foti

The Synthesis is both owned and published by Apartment 8 Productions. All things published in these pages are the property

of Apartment 8 Productions and may not be reproduced, copied or used in any other way, shape or form without the

written consent of Apartment 8 Productions. One copy (maybe two) of the Synthesis is available free to residents in Butte,

Tehama and Shasta counties. Anyone caught removing papers will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. All opinions expressed throughout the Synthesis are those of the author and are not necessarily the same opinions as Apartment 8

Productions and the Synthesis.

For 19 years The Synthesis' goal has remained to provide a forum for

entertainment, music, humor, community awareness, opinions, and change.

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Arielle Mullen, Bob Howard, Erica Koenig, Howl, Jaime O'Neill, Koz McKev, Tommy Diestel, Dan O'Brien, Jackie Reardon, Negin Riazi, JD DiGiovanni, Jayme Washburn

PHOTOGRAPHY Jessica Sid

Vincent Latham

NERD Dain Sandoval

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ACCOUNTING Ben Kirby

DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS Karen Potter

OWNER Bill Fishkin

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The Synthesis welcomes, wants, and will even desperately beg for letters because we care what you think. We can be reached via snail mail at the Synthesis, 210 W. 6th St., Chico, California,

95928. Email [email protected]. Please sign all of your letters with your real name, address and preferably a phone number.

We may also edit your submission for content and space. 210 West 6th Street

Chico Ca 95928 530.899.7708 - [email protected]

SYNTHES I SWEE KL Y.CO M

IMMACULATE INFECTION BY BOB HOWARD - MADBOB@MADBOB COM

FIERCE WIND AND STRANGER

The winds are strong and picking up on this morning of the eve of the winter solstice. The hawk lets out a shriek as she takes flight from the gnarled two hundred and fifty year old oak we call Josephine, and then she floats slowly against the wind's current, correcting course with minor adjustments of her fully spread wings. A red-headed buzzard zooms by in the opposite direction, free-falling with the wind, its wings slightly tucked to maintain a semblance of control.

The winds always bring oddness, and as the three dogs and I near the end of our walk- a casual loop of the lower five acres - we discover a fourth, heretofore unknown dog in the front yard, leg raised and pissing on the decrepit wire fence. Now the walk starts all over again, and turns into a gallop as my three dogs chase this strange fourth dog back down into the nether reaches of the yard, all the way to the creek that dissects the property. I have to run after them, yelling instructions and cursing as they casually ignore me, focused instead on this new friend/foe/ stranger who has invaded their private sanctuary.

I manage to get behind them and chase the herd back the other way. Bill seems friendly enough to the dog - a little standoffish; Kiki the battle ax has her brown hackles raised; and Archie the puppup, is just playing, of course, running faster than all of them and laughing the entire time.

We get up to the front yard again and there's the neighbor woman, yelling the

stray dog's name - a black and white border collie mix - " Ike! Ike!" He sees her and is in something of a panic now, trying to figure out how to get out of the enclosure he so easily managed to get into. His first attempt sends him careening into an unseen section of fence, and the collision snaps a rotten fence post I hadn't known was rotten. Then he burrows under the fence through a furrow in the ground and is out, running down the street now, in the opposite direction of his owner's home. She apologizes to me about the fence and offers to help fix it, but it's nothing, the post was rotten to the core, a T-post will do the job.

I'm wheezing and sweating, I can't remember the last time I ran so far and so fast, and we're not talking a marathon here, not even a 3K. I contemplate, not for the first time, the notion of regular exercise, and dismiss it again. It's too close to New Year's to be considering any drastic changes in lifestyle anywayresolutions are for amateurs.

Ike is still out and about, cruising through another neighbor's yard. I just had to shoo him out of our yard again - the wind must be freaking him out and causing him to seek refuge. My own dogs are inside now, lolling about and probably discussing the morning's excitement in their own canine language. Trish is sleeping and I am worried and anxious about all the things in the world that might come to pass.

FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM DECEMBER 23 - JAN UARY 5 5

Pff D

A RETROSPECTIVE WITH THE BECKY SAGERS

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6 DECEMBER 23 - JANUARY 5 SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

It all started at Chico High School in the turbulent midnineties. Two unlikely lifelong rap fans : One tall with long hair and a beard, the other shorter and stouter. Little did they know, but in 1993 they would begin a twenty year journey together as partners in rhyme. This is the mostly true, semi embellished history of The Becky Sagers: Chico 's first rap group.

Jeremiah: My first exposure to rap was a birthday party in the fifth grade and we were listening to the Beastie Boys and Run DMC. I was into it.

Aye Jay: At my birthday party in 1986 I heard Kurtis Blow's "AJ Scratch" and it blew my mind, starting a lifelong love of rap and my own ego that continues to this day.

Jeremiah: We met through our mutual friend Jason, who we all called Hardcore. AJ had got Paris' new CD and we met up to listen to it together.

Aye Jay: The guy I knew as "Jesus on a skateboard" liked rap music! We hit it off that day and he came over to my mobile home park to hang out soon after. It was a pretty janky living situation , but we bonded over listening to rap on tapes together. Rap was not mainstream popular like it is now, so it was a treat to meet someone who knew about groups like Gangstarr or the Afros.

Jeremiah: I told my mom when she picked me up I never wanted to go there again.

Aye Jay: We kept hanging out and eventually started hanging with Becky Sager, who was a six foot four party animal we went to school with. She could outdrink all of us. Going to her house on Monday nights to watch The Fresh Prince of Bel Air with her and her friend Heather became a daily ritual. We would watch Blossom also, after The Prince.

Jeremiah: At some point we started joking that we would form a rap group and call it the Becky Sagers; that went on for months. It was decided I would be MC Heatha and AJ would be MC Shecky, which was Becky's nickname.

Becky Sager: The first time you guys told me about the Becky Sagers. I was working at Accentricities and you stopped by to tell me about the band. I think you said something like "So we decided we are going to form a hip hop group" and I was like "That sounds great!" and then you were like "And we're calling it the Becky Sagers" and I think I said something like "Wow that's really weird, but cool. " Which is still how I feel , weird but cool.

Aye Jay: A friend 's New Year's party was coming up, so we went to Tower, and our old friend David Steele gave us a bunch of promo cassingles. We used the karaoke feature on Jeremiah 's stereo to record our first album Sheck Your Head, named after the Beasties album, with handmade cover parody tape cover, to boot.

Becky Sager: The first time I heard the Sagers I went to Jeremiah 's house where you rapped over a mixed tape on his ghetto blaster. I will be honest, I didn 't think it was going to go far.

Aye Jay: Marty James (who went on to form Scapegoat Wax and One Block Radius) was another rap friend of mine, and he had started making music, so I guess we thought, "Why not us too?"

Jeremiah: While I don't think either of us realized it at the time, Marty's making music was an influence on us. He was the first person I knew who I saw rap, though he was way more professional. I think part of my brain saw Marty doing it and said "Hey, it's alright, we can rap. "

Aye Jay: It really made rapping all that more do-able, having seen Marty. N2deep's "Back to the Hotel" was huge, and he was working with the guy who produced it, making song 's like "My Hair Is Playin ' Tricks On Me," a parody of a Geto Boys song.

Marty James: They said they were named the Becky Sagers, and I was like, "You mean the really tall girl from school I call Manute (after professional basketball player Manute Bol)?"

Aye Jay: I started volunteering at the Blue Room right out of high school , and that evolved into working music shows. In 1995 there was a benefit show coming up and a band had cancelled , so we volunteered to do that show too.

Jeremiah: Adam Wakeling from Trench was the unsung hero. When we first started playing shows, we rapped over cassette instrumentals, and he would lend us his boombox to plug into the sound system even when he wasn 't there.

Aye Jay: We started playing shows at The Blue Room and ended up part of an indie rock scene. At our first show the guy who filmed it cared so little for us he set the camera down wrong and filmed from the waist down. So we have all crotch footage of our first set. Deathstar joined us at the end for a jam. That was their

FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

second show.

Erik Morton (The Imps): The first time I saw them they were in suits rapping along to a boom box. I said, "what the fuck is this shit?" Then I wondered what it would be like to comment on it 20 years later.

Aye Jay: We eventually started asking local musicians to back us up for shows and phased the tape deck out. Thank god. There were a lot of weird configurations of folks that had never played together and never would again . The Imps rhythm section, the Force 7 guys, and Jim and Ken from Deathstar were all usual suspects.

Jim Rizzutto (Deathstar): We couldn 't get funky, so why would they ask the noise rock band to back them up? It was confusing , but we were there. The lack of funk was really striking. Sagers included.

Marty James: I remember when they started rapping and playing shows. It was weird , but once they were out there I figured I should be playing out, too. We figured out pretty quick that our crowds didn't mix well.


'.i! City of Chico

PROCLAMATION

WHEREAS: The Bccl<y Sagers AY..A - MC Hethablla ancl MC Shecl,love AKA -Aye Jay Morano and Jeremiah Wade have perforrnecl for tli_e Cbico con-i_n1unity since t li_eir first pcrfonnancc son1e 13

years ago, rapping over a cassette, lip synching and blowing up a stereo at a bachelor party; and

WHEI<l3AS: The Becl<y Sagers have been a vital part of the Chico community and the n1usic scene lil~e no otlJ.er rap duo,

perfecting the off beat-off beat style and using their sblls to

help raise funds for nu1uerous non-profits and neecly lzids; and

\VfIEREAS: The Bed<y Sagers have been a positive influence on all the youn g people of Cl1ico who would rather grow invisible afros tl1e11 be caught doing something janl<y; and

WHEREAS: The Beclq Sagers have found t!1e perfect beats with DJ Goodburger - AKA Matt Loomis .

NOW THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED that I, Scott Gruendl, Mayor of tl1e City of Chico, do hereby proclaim September 27th as 'The Becky Sagers Band Day" and invite all citizens to witness tl1cir performance at Children's Par!<.

Datccl: September 27, 2005

Scott Gruendl, Mayor

Erik Imp: A highlight to me was [that) The Imps were the supposed Bad Boys. We played with bands like Hucksalt Headspeed, so we were daaangerous. Everyone was nice to us, but it could get cliquey.

Becky Sager: I don 't th ink I heard them again until I came back from living in San Francisco. I went to a party and there was this huge crowd and I remember thinking "Well I guess I was wrong ! The Sagers rule!"

Jeremiah: Once AJ fell off the stage at LaSalle 's at the Deathstar CD release party. He had drank too much and got all wrapped up in the mic cords. Next thing I knew he disappeared.

Aye Jay: It was like a five foot drop!

One day we were walking around downtown and on a whim went into the Synthesis office and asked Bill Fishkin if we could write an advice column. He said OK. We wrote one almost every week for almost two years.

Jeremiah: It was weird and full of inside jokes. We wrote most of the advice letters ourselves.

Aye Jay: Some of Marty's friends heckled us pretty good.

DNA (local promoter): I loved the Sagers from day one. The community that formed around them was tight knit and slightly (more) inebriated and manically creative. Many bands were lighthouses for the young thriving scene of the 90s, but the Sagers were the only band playing anything remotely in tune with the times; a signpost of one of the biggest trends to emerge from that era. They were pioneers of a sound that hadn 't been heard in Northern Cal ifornia.

From the Becky Sagers advice column: The Sagers have finally rid ourselves of loser status, as of this week we are Superwinners. We did our part by providing starving indie rockers with Kung Fu ramen and our greatest contribution to the festival: a kissing booth where kisses from both of us could be had for 25 cents. The booth made 50 cents, providing us with one can of Safeway select soda, and one game of Pinbot at Juanitas.

Aye Jay: All these bands played a local festival together called "Superwinners" so that became the name of the band scene. This included Deathstar, the Imps, Land of the Wee Beasties, Uncle Roscoe, and Mid Fi. Later it became seen as an elitist thing , but in the beginning it was super inclusive. There were highlights and lowlights.


Aye Jay: Jeremiah is an amazing , hilarious writer. I was always amazed by his stuff.

From the column: Heatha got the idea to enter the dragon and head downtown for Halloween. It only took moments to realize no matter how funktafied one is, there is no stopping a whole town intent on being wack. The whole sigma wick-wack forces had united in a cross dressing mass of keystone light-drinking, taco bell grande-eating mass of gnarlyheads attempting to

redefine disgusting. Their female counterparts were dressed like hoes of all types: vampire hoes, victorian hoes, Cinderella hoes, and just plain old hoe-y hoes. More hoes than the Kmart garden shop.

Aye Jay: There was one article he wrote that was an interview a fictitious group called P4deep who had a song about roll ing around Vallejo with Zsa Zsa Gabor, in Kit from the TV show Knight Rider, eating chicken and hitting switches. It was great stuff.

Article: Pedro glued a bunch of condoms on the turntables, so we were trying to put a positive message out there, cause all djs should practice safe scratching. They should wear a condom on each finger so they don 't leave prints on the vinyl, cause you know cutting and scratching ain 't as safe as it used to be.

Jeremiah: The one thing about those years is we only played two rap shows, and both were terrible. There was literally no market for rap shows here. We had no idea we were Chico 's first rap group playing shows. Rollo 's Kitchen and ...

Aye Jay: We played a show with the Marginal Prophets from SF. And there was no one there. It was us, the door man and the bartender. They were not happy.

After a few years of playing , a few deejay's moved to town and we got to meet Bad Rok, DJ Oh, and a dreadlocked Weavervillian who went by DJ Mantis but also drew posters under the name Matt Loomis. We struck up a friendship , but his forays into jungle music and his raver girlfriend made him the butt of the occasional joke. Little did we know he was the horse to bet on .

Jeremiah: We played some "big" shows around that time, opening up for Digital Underground, Hieroglyphics, etc. We never went over well. Frat boys were yelling , "you suck!" while we were playing. But we just turned that into a song 's chorus.

Aye Jay: We realized pretty quick that we were not going to make fans of traditional rap people. We were too weird, and not good enough that the music trumped our Lenny-and-Squiggy type personal appearances. We always were more confrontational with the crowd than we should have been. Around this time betweensong banter became an important part of our live show. Stand up-hop.

Jeremiah: Come for the raps, stay for the banter.

Erik Imp: I liked the banter 'cause it gave me time to figure out what to play next. They told me to be occasionally funky.

Matt Loomis: I knew AyeJay's art from his posters and we all met up and had a few beers and listened to music. That's where we first heard the Sacred Hoop tape, a group that we ended up bringing to town quite a bit. Bad Rok kind of took Oh and I under his

SYNTHES I SWEE KL Y. COM

wing and we all started hanging out. He was already a professional DJ who competed and knew all the turntabilist guys.

Jeremiah: Eventually some of our friends started rapping , and they formed Six Feet Deep. That was actually the name of a DJ crew first, and the rappers took the name over. That was Fay, G Pek and Thug E Fresh.

Aye Jay: Faydog was my best friend growing up. Our dads had moved to Chico together and formed Spark and Cinder. In 1999 we started rapping and became the best right away. but man was he dirty. I was allowed all the gangsta rap I wanted growing up but his tapes got taken away. And through that repression, he became the filthy rapper.

deserved it then and still do.

Jeremiah: That was a total surprise. Handsome Gorgeous came up and made a kingly proclamation in a kingly accent.

Aye Jay: I thought it was a joke until I saw the actual embossed certificate from the Mayor's office. So weird.

Matt: And then there was the name change ...

Jeremiah: Becky Sager became a scholar! She ended up getting her doctorate, so we did what was most natural: changed the name of the group to reflect her new title.

Aye Jay: There 's no point in her working so hard to become a Dr. for us not to use the name for ourselves! She's just lucky we never went through with the legal proceedings over the rights to her name.

(formerly of Das Racist) to play, and he said yes. It's going to be insane.

Matt: I think we should play forever, the older we get the funnier it gets. We'll hit our peak at age 60. And play one show a year.

Jeremiah: Three shows a year, maximum. We'll be the Fallon of Chico rap.

Aye Jay: Even though the group has never been a priority or something taken super seriously, it's amazing to look back at how much fun we have had, the amazing people we have played music and shows with , and to even be in the conversation about a pretty great time in Chico music. It's a total good un'.

Becky Sager: I still feel the same way I did twenty years ago, 'That's pretty weird, but totally awesome."

We started putting on a few rap shows. Sacred Hoop, Z Man, Live Human-all the local scratch DJs would play-and we would get someone to back us up using instros from 12" records. Bad Rok was first but he was way more professional (by that I mean better) than

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

we were. He linked up with local funk band Force 7, and kinda stopped playing with us. Loomis kind of got added to the mix without anyone telling him so.

Jeremiah: Faydog, who I knew as AyeJay's best friend, came back from Alaska with a bunch of raps and asked me to record him. The recordings turned out OK, but he eventually re-recorded it all with Thug E. I had no idea what I was doing, I just had a janky mic and a four track I had bought at the pawn shop.

Aye Jay: There was a few years of playing as kind of a loose collective called Gurp City, but the Bay Area guys came more and more and the scene kinda became their thing . We kinda got phased out, but that also had a lot to do with friendships dissolving too, there was some falling outs over nothing. People started to take it more serious and we were not that way at all , so it didn 't really fit anymore to play shows together.

Faydog: The Sagers started it all , and then Gurp City kind of came in and took it over.

Jeremiah: Somewhere along that time Matt became a full member of the group, but we still didn 't pay him.

Aye Jay: In the group you get paid in street cred for the first three years.

Matt: It was kind of osmosis I guess. I played shows on and off for a couple of years, then Jeremiah kind of mentioned it as an aside: "Well , you 're a Becky Sager now." I honestly didn't feel like I was in the group until Dylan Hillerman (local poster artist) drew me into a flyer, and that was 2005! That's when DNA got the mayor to proclaim "Becky Sagers Day in the city of Chico

DNA: I wasn 't being ironic when I asked the mayor to commemorate the Sagers with their own day. They

Matt: We were going to take her to Small Claims court and force her to change her name. Max G Arnold wouldn't take our case, though .

Aye Jay: At this point we were at about our ten year anniversary, so I asked Doug at Duffy's if we could put on a show the day after Xmas and set out to start reuniting old Chico bands. Deathstar and The Imps played the first one. It went over really well and they started letting us do it every year. Faydog has played every one also.

Doug Roberts (Duffy's): Twenty years? That's crazy, amazing , and a little bit scary.

Jeremiah: We called it "Chico Legends" as a joke, but it stuck. It was good enough a name for some other local promoters to use without asking , so it couldn 't have been too bad.

Aye Jay: We have had a who 's who of local legends play the show over the years. This year I had the chance to ask one of my favorite rappers, Kool A.O.


DUFFY'S TAVERN

THURSDAY J.2/26/J.3

7, 9pm, 21+ flyer by aye jay!

DECEMBER 23 - JAN UARY 5 9

EDIBLE BITS BY JACKIE REARDON - EDIBLEBITS@YAHOO COM

CRUSHING IT, LUCERO STYLE Did you know that the most awarded olive oil producer is just a short drive away in Corning? Lucero Olive Oil has been awarded over 200 (200!) awards for their olive oil, and it is a title that they have worked very hard to attain.

The Lucero family has been growing olives for three generations; they began bottling and labeling their product in a garage in 2005. The family company has grown and expanded tremendously since then, with a beautiful tasting room and bottling/shipping/pressing warehouse just off 1-5 in Corning. Not only do they make delicious olive oils and balsamic vinegars, they also put on one heck of a shindig.

Last weekend, they held their third annual Winter Crush event. There were local food artisans sampling and selling their goodies, a tour of the crushing process (complete with hairnets for all the

10 DECEM BER 23 - JAN UARY 5

visitors. I rocked that thing.), live music, a microbrew garden where they offered samples of several different breweries, and a couple food booths. Kinders was there and I enjoyed a smoky, tender pulled pork sandwich on a soft white roll from their booth. Bruciante was also representing from Redding, and we ordered the rosemary chicken pizza from their wood-fired oven. While I enjoyed the flavor of Lucero's rosemary olive oil and the blistered crust, the pizza as a whole was pretty standard. The sauce was a tad sweeter than I like and the black olives didn't seem quite suited for the pizza.

My favorite part of the event, as always, was the microbrew garden. I was a little pressed for time so I wasn't able to swig away all afternoon like I would have preferred, but I was able to try a few samples that were pretty damn delightful.

First off, I enjoyed the Reason For the Season, a coffee cream stout from Wildcard Brewing in Redding. I have been meaning to pop into the tasting room when I am in Redding visiting my folks, and after sipping this delicious brew, I know I will make it happen the next time I'm in town. Next up was the Jamaica Red Ale from Mad River Brewing. It is a slightly bitter red ale with a nice hop bite and it poured out a lovely mahogany color. Lastly, I sipped a crisp, very lightly sweet, hopped apple cider from Square Mile Cider Company from Portland, OR. It was refreshing and I could have happily consumed a pint or two.

I look forward to the next event held at Lucero and I suggest you keep an eye out for it, as well. These events are free, family-friendly and they are a great way to get to know your local food producers.

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$3 14oz Slushies

$4 20oz Slushies

Bartender Specials

$3 14oz Slushies

$4 20oz Slushies

Mon-Fri happy hour

11-2PM

$2.50 Dom & Sierra

Nevada Drafts

3-6PM v$3.SO Dbl Wells

6PM-close $8 Dom Pitcher

$9 SN Pitcher

HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM BELLA'S

CLOSED FOR THE

HOLIDAYS!

11-2PM $2.50 Dom

& Sierra Nevada Drafts

3-6PM

$3.50 Dbl Wells

8-close

$3 Soccer Moms

$5 Smirnoff Blasters

$5 DBL Roaring Vodka

11-2PM

$2.50 Dom &

Sierra Nevada Drafts

3-6PM

$3.50 Dbl Wells

8-Close

$2.50 Dom & SN Drafts

Open at llAM ! Bloody Mary Bar

Noon-6PM

$8 Dom Pitcher

$9 SN Pitcher

8PM-Close

$6.50 DBL calls

10AM-2PM

$5 Bottles of Champagne

with entree

$4.50 Bloody Mary

$5.50 Absolut Peppar

Bloody Marys

Daily Happy Hour

from 4-7PM

PBR $2.2S Everyday!

Daily Happy Hour

from 4-7PM

PBR $2.25 Everyday!

Daily Happy Hour

from 4-7PM

Full Bar in Back Room

Weds, Fri & Sat Nights!

PBR $2.25 Everyday!

Daily Happy Hour

from 4-7PM

PBR $2.25 Everyday!

Daily Happy Hour

from 4-7PM



PBR $2.25 Everyday!

Daily Happy Hour

from 4-7PM



PBR $2.25 Everyday!

Daily Happy Hour

from 4-7PM

PBR $2.25 Everyday!

Mon-Fri 2-6PM

$1.50 PBR or Coors Pints $2 Kami Shooters

1/2 OFF POOL

Pool League, 3 player teams. Sign up with

bartender. Starts 7PM.

All ages until lOPM

NEW YEARS EVE

8 BALL BASH

Mon-Fri 2-6PM

$1.50 PBR or Coors Pints

$2 Kami Shooters

1/2 OFF POOL

8 Ball Tournament Sign-up

6PM. Starts 7PM.

Mon-Fri 2-6PM


$2 Kami Shooters

1/2 OFF POOL

JAZZ NIGHT- Martini

Specials

All ages until lOPM

Mon-Fri 2-6PM


$2 Kami Shooters

1/2 OFF POOL

All ages until lOPM

Bartenders Choice

9 Ball Tournament.

Sign-up at noon. Starts

lPM.

All ages until lOPM

FREE POOL

1 hr. with every $8

purchase

All ages until lOPM

$6.50 Pulled pork sand w/

fries or salad

25 cent wings from

halftime 'til they're gone!

MONSTER MONDAY SPECIALS 6PM-CLOSE

BEER $3/4/5/6 $1 SHOTS

FREE Pool after lOPM

Chicken Strip Sand only

$6.50 before 6 PM

DOLLAR DAZE 6-9pm

$1 Beer $1 Wells

$2 Doubles


We'll close at 5pm on

Christmas Eve!

Reuben Sand w/ fries or

salad $6.SO

Spm-Close 1/2 off kids

items

8pm-Close Pitcher

Specials $6/$9/$12


Closed Christmas Day!

NEW YEAR'S EVE PARTY

Baby Back Ribs $10.99

Philly Cheesesteak $7.50

6pm-Close $4 Grad teas

$3 All beer pints


10 oz. Tri-Tip Steak w/

Fries or Salad & Garlic

Bread $8.99

8pm-Close $4 Jager

$5 DBL Vodka Red Bull

$6 Jager Red Bull

$2 Kamikaze shots


Baby Back Ribs w/Salad,

Fries & garlic bread

$10.99

8pm-Close

$4 Single/$6 Double

Jack or Captain

$2 Sierra Nevada


$5.19 Grad/Garden/

Turkey Burger w/fries

or salad

Bloodies $3 Well, $4 Call,

$5 Top, $6 Goose

Mimosas $2/flute, $5/pint

$6 Beer Pitchers


THE PERFECT HOLIDAY GIFT DUFFY'S HOODIES

IPIJUDVER 6 ZIPUPJ +

SYNTHES I SWEE KL Y. COM

Celebrate NEW YEAR'S EVE

with LaSall es !


$2.50 Pinnacle Cocktails $2.50 Pint of Sierra Nevada Half Off Rockstar Cocktails

$2.50 Fireball Shots

$2.50 Pints of Sierra Nevada $5.50 Double Pinnacle Vodka & Red Bull

$3 Double Well Cocktails

Half Off Rockstar Cocktails $2.50 Pint of Sierra Nevada $3 Featured Shot of the Night

HALF OFF EVERYTHING

(Except Red Bull and Premium Liquors)

GoDownlo

NEW YEARS

FUNK PARTY

Closed for renovation

Go Downlo


Go Down Lo


Go Downlo


Go Down Lo


Go Down Lo

J.OES cf~) ~~tfr'.9 ~~!I

BEAR-E-OKE

BURGER MADNESS!

Bear Burger with fries

or salad for $5.29. llarn-lOpm.

C HI CO C A

Happy Hour 11-6PM

select bottles & drafts $2.75

MNF Specials Bucket of Beer Bacardi Cocktails Southern Comfort Skyy & Red Bull

Throughout the football game

BEAR WEAR! $2 All Day Closed for the Holidays!

1/2 off while wearing Bear Wear. MUG CLUB 4-lOPM

NEW YEAR'S EVE PARTY

$2 Select Sierra Nevada or Dom Drafts $2 Kamis -any flavor

CLOSED FOR CHRISTMAS All 16 oz Teas or AMF $3

OPEN NEW YEAR'S DAY! All Day

BURGER MADNESS! Happy Hour 11-6PM

Bear Burger with fries $2. 75 select bottles & or salad for $5.29. drafts llam-lOpm.

$216oz Wells

LATE NIGHT EATS! BEAR Free Happy Hour Food BURGER AND FRIES FOR 4PM until it's gone ONLY $4.99! Mon-Sat lOpm - lam. Happy Hour 11-6PM

select wells, bottles and pints $2.7S

LATE NIGHT EATS! BEAR $4 Sex On The Beach BURGER AND FRIES FOR $4 Sierra Nevada Knightro ONLY $4.99! ON TAP Mon-Sat lOpm - lam. $1 Jello Shots

7-lOPM $3 Rumpy, Jager

and Fireball

BURGER MADNESS! $4 World Famous Bloody Bear Burger with fries Joe

or salad for $5.29. $5 Premium bloodys llam-lOpm. your choice of vodka


Buck Night 9pm-Close $112oz Select Teas $3 20oz All Teas

$1 Well Cocktails

$2 Select Bottle Beers

$3 Tea of the Day

Bartender Specials

$3 Tea of the Day

Bartender Specials

Brunch lOam - 2pm Football Specials

Champagne Brunch 10am-2pm Every Sunday with purchase of an entree

EVERY DAY

Happy Hour-4-7pm $1.7S

Pints, $1.00 Shots, 1/2 off

all Single cocktails, $1.00 Food items

2 for 1 Burgers llam-Bpm

RING IN THE NEW YEAR!


Happy Hour- 4-7pm

SO cent well drinks 9-lOpm $2 Kamis,

$2 Fireball, $3 Cherry

Blasters, $2 bottle Beer lOpm-lam

Happy Hour- 4-7pm $5 Fridays 4-8pm Most food items and pitchers of beer are $5

Happy Hour- 4-7pm Hot dog menu all day 11am-8pm, All Day and All Night Tall cans of beer (24oz) $3.50, $2 Capri sun

Shots, All Teas $3.50, Tea

Party 9-llpm 32oz Teas are $2.SO

Happy Hour- 4-7pm Champagne Brunch 930am-lpm, Every Nfl Game (20 Tv's), $3 Bloody

marys, $3 screwdrivers, $5 pitchers of beer


$2 Marqis

$3 Cuervo Marqis

$2.50 Corona's & Sierra Drafts Mon-Sat 3PM-6PM $1

Dom draft, $2 SN draft,

$1.SO wells

Progressive Night! 8-lOPM $1 Sierra Pale

Ale, Domestics, Rolling Rock & well cocktails up lOPM-close 25C per

hour-close Mon-Sat free pool 6-BPM


$3 Hot Licks

$4.50 Double Bacardi 8-9PM $1 pale ale

and dam draft up 25C per hour until close Hot Drinks now available

Power Hour 8-9PM 1/2 off Liquor & Drafts 9PM-Close

$3 Pale Ale Drafts $9.75 Pale Pitchers Hot Drinks now available

Mon-Sat 3PM-6PM

$1 Dom draft, $2 SN draft,

$1.SO wells,

Power Hour 8-9PM 1/2 off Liquor & Drafts 9-Close Pale Ale Drafts $9.75 Pale Pitchers Hot Drinks now available

CLOSED

Lounge V1pu1tra

CLOSED

NEW YEARS EVE

VIP PARTY!

Happy Hour 5-8PM

$5 House Martinis

$4 Glass of House Wine $3 Well Cocktails

20% off wine by bottle

$1 off Call liquor

and bottled beer

Happy Hour 5-8PM

$5 House Martinis $4 Glass of House Wine $3 Well Cocktails

20% off wine by bottle $1 off Call liquor

and bottled beer

Happy Hour 5-8PM



and bottled beer

Happy Hour S-8PM



and bottled beer

CLOSED



THIS WEEK ONLY BEST BETS IN ENTERTAINMENT

NEW YEAR'S EVE - TUESDAY, DECEMBER 315T

~---·

THE MOTHER HIPS NICKI BLUHM AND THE GRAMBLERS EL REY THEATRE What can we possibly say about this

that you don't already know? The Mother Hips are pretty much Chico in

musical form, and Nicki Bluhm and the

Gramblers are phenomenal. This show is so big they had to start it the night

before. $48. Doors 8pm, show 9pm

MOJO GREEN DOWN NORTH SOFA KING DJ SPENNY LOST ON MAIN Funk Bash Dance Party. Who doesn't

' love dancing to funk, soul and groove? Don't answer that, I don't care. People

who like fun should go to this. Starts at

8pm

ALL THE OTHER EXCITING THINGS 23 MONDAY The Maltese: Bah-Humbug Karaoke

and $100 Ugly Sweater Contest. 9pm

26 THURSDAY Duffy's: Chico Legends 3013. Kool A.D. (formerly of Das Racist), Dr. Becky Sag

ers PhD, Faydog, DJ Ted Shred. $7. 9pm

27 FRIDAY The Tackle Box: Country music from

Amanda Gray & Whiskey Savage. $3.

28 SATURDAY 1078 Gallery: Fight Music record release. Fight Music, Teeph, Raw Nerves, Criminal Wave. $5. Doors 7:30pm, show 8pm

The Maltese: The Lolos, Bandmaster Ruckus. 9pm

Manas Art Space: Lish Bills, Fera, Miles Wick, Alex Rather-Taylor. All ages. $5. 8pm

The Tackle Box: Country music from

Northern Heat. $3.

30 MONDAY Cafe Flo: Opening of art exhibition:

prints by artist David Plant.

El Rey Theatre: The Mother Hips, w/

Nicki Bluhm and the Gramblers. $48. Doors 7pm, show 8pm

31TUESDAY The Downlo: Rock Mountain Tribe,

Epik and nameless, Earth Shine, Biggs

Roller, Stumblegum, Matt Mitchell. $5. 7pm

DJs TRAZZ& SEXUAL CHOCOLATE LASALLE'S Welcome 2014 with a glass of bubbly

at the Champagne Wishes New Year's Eve Celebration. DJs Trazz and Sexual

Chocolate spin hits of the 90s, Top 40, hip

hop, and EDM. Seven bartenders will be pouring cocktails, and Jason Andrews will

be taking pictures, so make sure you look

good! Starts at 8pm

NEW YEAR'S PROHIBITION PARTY THE MALTESE Celebrate the New Year like you're not

supposed to! Dress up in your closest 1920s approximation, throw your inhibi

tions out the window, and party like it's

1929! Old-time hedonism starts at 9pm

The Tackle Box: New Year's Eve party

with All Fired Up. $5.

1 WEDNESDAY lOOth Monkey Books and Cafe: P.S.O., Badger, Criminal Wave, lcko Sicko,

Blaster Dead. $5. All ages. 8pm

4 SATURDAY 1078 Gallery: Danny Cohen and the

Near Death Experience, plus guests

TBA. $5. Doors 7:30pm, show 8pm

SYNTHESIS WEEKLY. COM

ONGOING EVENTS _23~/~3~0_M~O_N_D_A_':f_ 1 WEDNESDAY The Bear: Bear-E-oke ! 9pm

Cafe Flo: Live Jazz Happy Hour with

the Carey Robinson Trio. 5-7pm

(30th only)

Chico Women's Club: Prenatal Yoga.

5:30-6:30pm

DownLo: Pool League. 3 player

teams, signup with bartender. 7pm.

All ages until lOpm

Maltese: Open Mic Night. Music.

Sign ups at 8pm, starts at 9pm. Mug

Night 7-11:30pm

University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm

Woodstock's: Spelling Bee for the

Grownups. 6:30-7:30pm

24/31 TU ES DAY Cafe Flo: Open Mic Singer-Songwrit

er Night with Aaron Jaqua. 7-9pm

(31st only)

Chico Women's Club: Yoga. 9-lOam.

Afro Carribean Dance. $10/class or

$35/mo. 5:50-7pm. Followed by

Capoeira, $3-$10. 7:30-8:30pm

Crazy Horse Saloon: All Request

Karaoke. 21+

DownLo: Game night. All ages until

lOpm

Farm Star Pizza: Live Jazz with Shi

gemi and Friends. 6:30-8:30pm

Holiday Inn Bar: Salsa Lessons,

7-lOpm

LaSalle's: '90s night. 21 +

Maltese: Karaoke. 9pm-Close

Studio Inn Lounge: Karaoke. 8:30pm

lam

The Tackle Box: Karaoke. 9pm


Woodstock's: Trivia Challenge. Call

at 4pm to reserve a table. Starts

6:30pm

(CLOSED 2STH) lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Open

Mic. All ages. 7pm

Avenue 9 Gallery: Lenn Goldmann :

New California Abstrcts. 12-Spm

The Bear: Trike Races. Wint-shirts

and Bear Bucks. Post time lOpm.

Mug Club 4-lOpm

Cafe Flo: Carey Robinson Trio. 5-7pm

Chico Women's Club: Afro Brazilian

Dance. 5:30-7pm

DownLo: 8 Ball Tournament. Signups

6pm

Duffy's: Dance Night! DJ Spenny and

Jeff Howse. 9pm. $1.

The Graduate: Free Pool after lOpm

Jesus Center: Derelict Voice Writ

ing Group, everyone welcome. 9-10:30am

Maltese: Friends With Vinyl!

Bring your vinyl and share up to 3

songs/12 minutes on the turntable.

9pm-lam

The Tackle Box: Swing Dance

Wednesday, classes 7-9pm


VIP Ultra Lounge: Laurie Dana.

7-9pm

Woodstock's: Trivia Night plus Happy

Hour. call at 4pm to reserve a table.

Starts at 8pm

26/2 THURSDAY Avenue 9 Gallery: Lenn Goldmann :


The Bear: DJ Dancing. No Cover. 9pm

Cafe Flo: Blues Unplugged with Mark

"Porkchop" Holder. 7-lOpm (2nd only)

DownLo: Chico Jazz Collective every

Thursday. 8-llpm. All ages until

lOpm

The Graduate: Free pool after lOpm

Has Beans: Open Mic Night. 7-lOpm.

Signups start at 6pm

Holiday Inn Bar: Karaoke. 8-llpm

LaSalle's: Thirsty Thursdays, featur

ing Mack Morris

Maltese: Karaoke. 9pm-close.

Panama's: Eclectic Nights. Buck

night and DJ Eclectic. 9pm

Quackers: Karaoke night with Andy.

9pm-lam


VIP Ultra Lounge: Acoustic perfor

mance with Bradley Relf. 7-9pm. No

Cover.

Woodstock's: Open Mic Night.

27/3 FRIDAY lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books:

Acoustic Music Singer Songwriter

Showcase: Flying Blind. 7:30pm



The Beach: DJ 2K & Mack Morris.

9pm-close. $2, $10 VIP

The Bear: DJ Dancing No Cover. 9pm

Cafe Coda: Friday Morning Jazz with

Bogg. llam

Cafe Flo: Flo Sessions weekly music

showcase. 7-lOpm (3rd only)

Chico Yoga Center: Friday Night

Dance Jam with Mark Johnson. $10.

7-8:30pm

Crazy Horse Saloon: Fusion Fridays.

Country dance lessons 9-10:30pm

DownLo: Yz off pool. All ages until

lOpm

Duffy's: Pub Scouts- Happy Hour.

4-7pm


Holiday Inn Bar: DJ Dance Party.

8pm-midnight.


Maltese: LGBTQ+ Dance Party. 9pm

Peeking Chinese Restaurant:

BassMint. Weekly electronic dance

party. $3. 9:30pm


28/4 SATURDAY lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Knit

ting Circle. 2-4pm



The Bear: DJ Dancing. No Cover. 9pm

Cal Skate: Adults only skate night. $6.

18+.9-llpm

Crazy Horse Saloon: Ladies Night

Dancing. 10pm-1:30am

DownLo: 9 Ball tournament. Signups

noon, starts at lpm.


Holiday Inn Bar: DJ Dancing. 70s and

80s music. The Molly Gunn's Revival!

8pm-midnight

LaSalle's: 1980Now! 8pm

Maltese: Live Music. 9pm

Quackers: Live DJ. 8:30pm-lam

Scotty's Landing: Music Showcase.

Open Mic hosted by Rich & Kendall.

5-9pm


29/5 SUNDAY DownLo: Free Pool, 1 hour with ev

ery $8 purchase. All ages until lOpm

LaSalle's: Karaoke. 9pm

Maltese: Walking Dead Viewing

Party. 9pm

The Tackle Box: Karaoke. 8pm

IT'S A BOUNTIFUL FALL HARVEST AT

SICILIAN CAFEI

1020 MAIN STREET CHICO "'••?) 530.3~5.2233 (G••;

DECEMBER 23 - JA NUA RY 5 15

ON THE TOWN PHOTOS BY VINCE LATHAM FACEBOOK.COM/VANGUARD.PHOTOGRAPHY

16 DECEMBER 23 - JA NUA RY 5

OLD CROCK BY JAIME O'NEI LL - [email protected]

'TIS THE SEASON OF GOODWILL T'WARD MEN, MINUS ONE I began a recent weekday by checking my email. Usually, six or eight emails come in overnight, mostly pretty boring stuff, though there's sometimes a nice note from a friend, or a bit of news from a relative.

But on this particular morning, there were 31 emails, most forwarded through an internet exchange used by this publication to filter incoming mail. The majority of emails came from a guy who dubbed himself "Pistoff Reader," a most devoted consumer of the words I write. After reading one of my pieces that "pist" him off, he went on to read every single word I've written since I began contributing to the Synthesis. Judging from his comments, it began to seem like maybe he didn't care for me all that much. For instance, responding to a piece published last summer, the acerbic critic wrote: "Sick. Sick. Sick. I won't be coming back to this website any more. "

But he did, responding to another column by writing: "A true piece of shit written by a true piece of shit."

It must have been something I said.

But he hadn't had enough of me quite yet. In reaction to a piece on racism, Mr. Pistoff commented : "ANOTHER shitty article by this idiot. They just keep getting worse."

I managed to top myself, however, because he responded to a piece about Rand Paul's plagiarism by observing: "HIS STORIES JUST GET WORSE AND WORSE!"

I've attracted enough hate mail over years of writing to know things are getting serious when readers resort to all caps, and then top that off with exclamation marks. After reading the following week's piece, he added: "EVERY STORY I READ BY THIS GUY SUCKS WORSE THAN HIS LAST ONE!!!"

The two additional exclamation points were surely meant to amplify his opinion. It's standard right wing debating strategy

UMAD

BRO? to add exclamation points when seeking to bolster ideas.

Mr. Pistoff also didn't care for a humor piece I wrote about losing the World's Sexiest Man competition. He wrote: "Try out for "world's shittiest writer. You'll win that one."

A recent interview I did with musician, Roy Rogers, also failed to win his critical approval. He wrote: "BOOOOOOOOOOOORRRING!"

My feelings might have been hurt by the severity of this judgment but for the fact that I'd been spared being slammed with the dreaded spelling of "boring" that comes with

13 or more uses of the letter 0, instead of 12, and four uses of the letter R, instead of Mr. Pistoff's lenient three.

His dislike of writing he devours so avidly extends even to the title of my column. Of that, he wrote: "Yes, a CROCK alright. Everything I've read from this guy is a crock. Crock of shit."

And then, rounding off his extended exercise in literary criticism, Mr. Pistof added this bit of self examination, saying: "I SO hate myself for reading another one by this idiot."

I knew if he kept at it, he'd arrive at a view I could share, and when he got to the place where he wasn't liking himself, in caps, I thought to myself, "Y'know, the guy's got a point."

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM


PHOTOS BY VINCE LATHAM FACEBOOK.COM/VANGUARD.PHOTOGRAPHY ON THE TOWN


ON THE TOWN PHOTOS BY JESSICA SID

18 DECEMBER 23 - JA NUA RY 5

SCENE REPORT

LATE NITE RE-EMERGES FROM THE TWILIGHT ZONE BY STEPHANIE DITTY "You unlock this door with the key of imagination ... " - Rod Serling, speaking from the Twilight Zone.

You've got nothing to do this weekend? You want to go out, but the bars just seem boring? Got eight bucks to spend but don't want to blow it on some crappy Tinseltown movie? Well, have I got something for you: Blue Room Late Nite is back in business! There's Twilight Zone episodes, there's sketch comedy, and there's off the wall entertainment that you won't find anywhere else.

After a mysterious absence, Late Nite director Craig Blamer recently returned to the Blue Room with a special early evening double feature of classic episodes from The Twilight Zone: the existentialist Four Characters in Search of an Exit, and the Christmas classic Night of the Meek. These

two episodes mixed seasoned actors with fresh meat making their stage debut. The craziest part was that this whole production was put together in only two weeks.

"I've done it to myself a lot with Late Nite as well as Sketch Valley (now known as Paint Dry)!" laughs Late Nite veteran Samantha Deshler. "I guess I perform best under pressure even if I feel like I'm losing my hair. That, and I can get really burnt out on rehearsing for a show if it lasts more than three weeks. I get to the point where I'm not longer 'in' it and I am just doing it to get it done. So two weeks is perfect!" The fresh meat had no idea that this isn't the norm and the experienced actors are just a little crazy. The unpredictability is what makes these shows so intriguing.

The thing that drives actors to work under such pressure is the stories they're enacting. Each one of the shows performed is fun to do as well as entertaining to the audience. "In this world of super-sized CG

characters and Kardashian nightmares, SOMETHING has to remain sacred! says actor Erika Sorenson, returning to the Chico stage as the lost ballerina in Five Characters. The Twilight Zone is the little black dress of television shows."

The Twilight Zone may be an old series, but every episode is still relevant today. Night of the Meek is your typical underdog story. It's about a drunk that finds his true calling. "I've always been a sucker for redemp-

tion stories and I love how Henry discovers something about himself that most people couldn't see," offers actor Nick Anderson, filling the ratty red suit of an ersatz Santa Claus. "Anybody that pulls themselves out of an addiction or a seriously rough time in life to become even better people through tribulation is pretty awesome in my book."

"Five Characters Looking for an Exit is very Sartre-esque. It's about figuring out

your true self and where you belong. Five Characters has always been my favorite episode," says actor Garrett Miller. "It was the first story I remember where there is a twist that you wouldn't expect."

The draw to Late Nite is that it's not your stereotypical kind of theater. It takes pop culture and makes it art on stage. It's something that both theatre enthusiasts as well as couch potatoes can enjoy. It takes something that is known or known about and puts a different spin on it. It's a draw to all audiences and helps more people appreciate live theatre.

Luckily, interest in the science fiction genre is at an all time high, making a return to the fifty-year-old Twilight Zone ideal for a younger audience that has never experienced the show on TV. Taking an outlandish idea and making it seem almost possible opens up the imagination. It makes you feel like a kid again. Seeing a beloved show acted on stage brings about whole new perspec

tive, makes it almost tangible.

From the actor's perspective, Late Nite gives them something fun to do. It allows them to be creative and develop their character without the restrictions of traditional plays. With traditional theatre, the audience knows what to expect and has a preconceived idea of who the character is and how they behave. The Late Nite productions take shows and stories that may be known, but can make

SYNTHES I SWEE KL Y.CO M

a horror story a comedy. There are fewer restrictions and it's more about having fun and creating something enjoyable to watch.

"I think anyone who works on Late Nite is

a little bit insane," admits Dani Kay, master of light and sound for the series. "I think

we all like to be around each other because there's almost another language about it.

I got my first shot doing tech for a show because Craig took a chance on me and now, however many years later, I've met some of my best friends because I did tech for shows and they were in the show, or involved in some other way, and it's become this family that I could never have expected. So that's pretty fucking magical."

Late Nite gives artists a way to work together outside of their norm. It allows musicians to be actors and actors to be singers. It lets people who have never attempted to act to try and to work with some of the best around. It lets those who have been acting forever do smaller, goofier parts. "Late Nite is different for everybody." says Miller. "It all depends on the individual.

I think the only promise it can bring, is that you'll be happy that you went."

And as Blamer frequently observes, when the cast is having a good time, the audience will, too. "The goal here is to continue to do Late Nite shows every month and bring more attention to theatre and to get more

people in the community involved. There is so much amazing local talent that goes unrecognized because not many people know about the theatre that's going on.

A lot of people seem to be turned off by theatre because they think it's going to be Shakespeare or a musical and have no idea that there is so much more out there. The thing is, Shakespeare himself was more in the spirit of the Late Nite than the snooty arty stuff he's commonly associated with.

He was kind of the punk writer of his day, and that's totally in the spirit of the Late Nite. It's anarchy, man. Controlled anarchy, but still total DIV theatre. No money, no time, but buttloads of passion and enthusiasm!"

Hopefully, by experiencing things like The Twilight Zone and other sketch comedy pieces, people will realize how much fun theatre can be.

Next month there's a sketch comedy writ

ten by Nicole Collado and Annie Fischer. It might inspire some people to give acting a try, or even writing. Most of the comedy pieces are written by the people acting in them. Do yourself a favor and check it out. Besides ...

"If they don't come to our shows," Dani

warns ominously," I will hunt them down like they're animals and I will never stop.

FACE BOOK.COM/SYNTHES ISCH I CO • SYNTHES I SWEE K LY.COM

PHOTOS BY JESSICA SID ON THE TOWN


\ \

\ \ \ I

I

I ,, . . . • .

20 DECEMBER 23 - JA NUARY 5

PART Ill

\\ \ \ \

WRITTEN BY

HOWL H OWLM 0 VESM 0 UNTAI NS. TUM BLR. COM

ILLUSTRATED BY

LOGAN KRUIDENIER LOG AN KRU IDE NIER. TUM B LR. C 0 M

A star held in my hands. An entire world, radiating, pulsing aliveness through my palms. I smile as I offer it to the waterwoman.

Without even looking at it, she swallows the sun whole. I cry out in anguish; freezing salt water pours into the dream from all sides. I sink to the ground.

I do not float in these depths; I fall to the bottom, like a rock. My skin is hard, shaped by countless ages of external pressures. My limbs are gone. My mind is gone. One rock in a field of rocks, at the bottom of a nameless ocean.

I stood still, gazing at a rock on the ground, in a massive, empty hallway. The rock was about the size of a volleyball. "It reminds me of myself!" I thought. "I feel as if I sank down here, like a rock, embracing gravity wholeheartedly until I landed here: in this city-under-the-ocean."

"The waterwoman, I wonder where she is ... " I continued to myself. "Hmm ... I wonder what her name is? God, I wonder what my name is?" A flicker, and a pull in my throat...a feeling, like a different kind of gravity. I could feel my friend calling to me, obviously from outside this room (empty as it was, but for me and some rocks).

I was in a hallway of a palace. Three walls had roughhewn openings to other places, and the fourth wall had a mural, stretching wall-to-wall and floor-to-ceiling. The mural was the only remarkable feature of the huge, underwater room. Nothing was here but rocks, and small ocean-floor creatures living and dying amongst them.

How the mural got here was as unfathomable a mystery as the palace itself, and this entire city. It's a city of dreamers, not builders, so how did all this get built? It felt as if the drug, Aqueum, came first, and waterhumans grew around it, and the city just grew around the waterhumans, forming natural rock structures over countless millennia-and yet, from communicating with the palace directly, it could just as easily have grown out of the rock yesterday.

Our city-wide addiction to Aqueum made such a mess of memory that it was impossible to tell. Much simpler to just take the palaces, and the entire city, at face value. If

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you're down here, you're already too high on Aqueum to care much anyway. I stepped out and headed for the entrance of the palace, following the call of my waterwoman friend.

Presently I was outside again, in the street, amongst other people and other creatures. Waterhumans, fish, a giant turtle that walked slowly past. I turned back to look at the palace I had just left: all domes and spires on the outside, in greens and yellows and blues. On the highest tower I could see her, waving to me. I reached and pulled, kicked and stroked, paddling my way up through the water until I could join her in her view of the city.

Fish swam in schools. Waterhumans walked, or danced, or stood still. Stingrays swam by their heads. The view was breathtaking, and I held my friend's hand and gazed at our city for a few long moments.

After a while, my waterwoman partner grew agitated and looked around us, and then in my pockets, searching for an Aqueum pipe. Just as I was about to brush her off in annoyance, a memory came drifting by, and it looked like a ribbon of a yellow-rose hue. It was quite beautiful and vivid to the taste. "And what's more," I thought, "I think I made this memory! There's a man, just like me, with pale skin, just like this!" I waved my hand to myself. "And he's walking into an empty elevator ... why, it's more empty than anything! I don't think there's water in it at all!" A remarkable thought came to me then, regarding the smiling face of a certain old man, and I jumped right off the tower, swam back to the ground, and rushed back to the hallway with the mural.

Back in the hallway, I stood, gazing with renewed interest at a beautiful mural I'd passed by at first, in favor of the rocks. "Now, I know I came out somehow, out of this wall. .. what do you think?" The last bit I addressed, aloud, to my friend-but she wasn't there. Furthermore, I couldn't feel her presence at all! Even when I reached with my mind as far as I could, I encountered only myself. .. and my thoughts ... a quite remarkable experience, I can assure you, after having lived in a drug-induced telepathic connection with thousands of others for who-knew-how-long.

"You know, it must be that I haven't had Aqueum for hours. Being so close to that girl for so long, I didn't notice!" I said to myself. "And now I'm remembering so many strange things ... I know there was something here ... oh!" My hand, which had

been probing and stroking the curves of the mural, leaped back as a large section of the wall pulled back and to the side, exposing a small room. Every side of it shone a metallic silver. It was the elevator.

As the elevator traveled up its shaft, towards the surface, the seawater drained slowly out the bottom-until my face was in empty air, then my shoulders, then finally my whole body. I took huge breaths of air for the first time in ages, and I shook with joyous emotion and sensation. Water drained from my lungs, out through my mouth and all my other orifices.

As I waited for the elevator to reach the surface proper, I went through all I could remember of the city-under-the-ocean; all the experiences I'd had on that remarkable drug. "I don't remember much," I thought, "but her I do remember: that girl following me for the last few days. Still, I wonder what her name was? Down there, names are pretty useless, I suppose. But I'll give her one now: Moana !" And then I reached out, with friendship and love, towards her, even though I could no longer feel her. "Goodbye, Moana!" I exclaimed aloud. "I finally made it to the surface! I'll enjoy all the sunlight I can for you."

The door to the elevator opened at last, and I stepped out into a city submerged completely in miraculous air. It was a city filled with throngs of people, and everyone clung tightly to their private thoughts and identities. Everyone had names here, myself included.

Moana came sharply back to the present moment, having dozed off atop the tower. Such warmth! The daydream she'd just had ... it was fading quickly, but she remembered enough. There was a surface, above this city, with more light than anyone here could imagine.

"I'll get there," she whispered to herself (and she noted with some surprise the act of addressing her own person, as if she were separate), "I'll get there somehow, or I'll die trying!"

She leapt off the tower and swam with passion until she reached the ground. When she touched down, Moan a no longer remembered herself, nor what she'd just decided to do. She wandered into her city-under-the-ocean in search of more Aqueum.


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H ARIES TAURUS GEMINI There will be a feeling of wanting Venus goes retrograde. You may You'll need to work a little

justice or fairness on Christmas not always get what you want. harder to get the things you Day. Unfortunately there will be Take this as an opportunity to want. This will also require some

quite a bit of tension that day as do things differently and to learn cooperation with others. Doing well. New Year's Day features a how to like it. Christmas involves charitable works will buy you

new moon at 3:14am PST. Things work, service and perhaps some some favor. Overwork could will be different this year in oh minor health issues. There may affect your health adversely. so many ways. Don't expect be a focus on uncles, aunts and Christmas Day should be heart-

the excitement to ever stop. small pets. Do things to reduce opening and fun. You can help

Your family and living situation stress. Higher education and a ease the anxieties of others. Any continue to go through deep higher philosophy are emphasized partying you do on New Year's

transformation. Focus on career during the new moon. You are Eve, you are seriously likely to and public image. The 29th and luckier than usual but you will pay for the next day. Helping

30th of December are your best need to explore areas outside of others party safely is your best days for conquering big tasks. your comfort zone. bet. This is not about you. It's

time to grow up and give a little more.

LIBRA SCORPIO SAGITTARIUS Christmas Day features the Life has felt like a winter without It's time for you to express

moon in Libra. I wonder what Christmas as of late. You're your values. Much of the things are balanced and fair likely to be searching deep for transformation that you've

when it comes to Christmas? the spiritual implications of been going through has been Venus is in retrograde and things this holiday beyond St Nick and internalized. Everyone goes seem a little more out of sorts nativity scenes. The returning of through a little bit of frustration than usual. Look to your own the light should be joyous, yet we when things appear to be out of needs rather than the needs know that it is slow in coming. control. The Christmas holiday of others. Some might say that Thursday afternoon through most will be part of your social life. with Mars in your first house of Saturday the moon will be You'll be amongst some helpful

you are a little more selfish than in Scorpio and you'll gain some friends that can take care of usual. You need to be. Why not needed personal strength. New business. Sunday the 29th and enjoy your uniqueness instead Year's should be mostly about Monday the 30th feature the of trying to fit in. New Year's Day friends and doing things with your moon in Sagittarius. Note that is probably going to be focused hands. Your theme is spiritual your influence is strong on on family and personal issues. discipline in order to have the fun these days. Your likely to make

you desire. a resolution on New Year's to

spend less money or change your eating habits.

5 CANCER True happiness comes from

within. There is no need to put on a plastic smile. Relationships

may take a strange twist and turn. Be an observer rather than

a participant in drama. Christmas Day finds you extra sensitive

so take care not to be a buzzkill while others are hoping to have a good time. New Year's will

have its own set of surprises,

yet it could offer some sweet romance. Look to the 4th and

5th for a more empathetic and emotionally satisfying situation.

CAPRICORN Happy Birthday! You rule this season. The best way to uplift yourself is to uplift others. Don't

seek revenge or retribution, but

be peaceful and compassionate in all your activities. You've been

put in a leadership position that will not soon go away. You

need to clean things up and to get rid of evil. Christmas puts

some weight on your shoulders. New Year's has more to do

with you making some sort of commitment to yourself. Strange

situations involving love and creativity are bound to show up.

Have a sense of grace.

DECEMBER 23 - JANUARY 5 BY KOZ MCKEV

LEO VIRGO Fear is not justified. Keep your View the things and situations

health together and work at around you as a gift. Be aware a steady pace. Show a little that most of the folks around

enthusiasm for the things that you aren't as observant as you.

seem so difficult. Christmas day Christmas Day is mostly about

might be a good opportunity your values. Try notto say too to take a walk around the much. You know how easy it is

neighborhood. Siblings and for you to be a wet blanket. Give cousins will be the highlight. comfort when it's needed. You

Work with your hands and seem to be having more fun get creative. New Year's Day than usual. Your heart is open.

will be more about work and New Year's Day and New Year's

potentially starting a new Eve parties seem stupid to you.

career. It could also be about In spite of all of this you will have health issues if you're not a brilliant time and might even

careful. You throw good parties. get lucky. Perhaps you can work with

others to throw a good party?

AQUARIUS PISCES Pay attention to your dreams. You'll be able to step down from

Helping those that are isolated some of your responsibilities and

in rest homes, prisons and be able to enjoy your friends a

hospitals will help you make little more. Your creative works

good karma. Do unto others as compliment the mood of the

you would have them do unto season. Christmas day other you . You' ll need a little more people are likely to want your alone time. It's likely that you will help. Try not to get into too much

travel over the holidays. There debt. On New Year's Eve or even

is nothing wrong with staying New Year's Day a party of sorts

home for New Year's. The moon is in order. The moon will be

will be in Aquarius on the 2nd in Pisces Saturday the 4th and and the 3rd. You' ll get a chance Sunday the 5th. Flow with artistic

to look at things in a clearer light purpose. Gather with others in

on those days. Be sure to give such a way that you inspire a

yourself plenty of rest as the higher purpose.

stress levels can be rather high.

Koz McKev 1s on You Tube, on cable 17 BCTV, 1s heard on 90/FM KZFR Chk:o, and also available by appOJi7tment for personal horoscopes. Call (530)891-5147 or e-mail kozm!C:[email protected]

22

GREAT WINTER READ Winter Melon, written by local writer Bill Wong Foey

A defiant and passionate young woman survives the Rape of Nanking in this debut novel. Voted Book of the Month for July by Lyons Books "Lives of Asia" book group.

In paperback online at Amazon.com and Lyons Book Store, 135 Main Street, or as an e-book from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Apple iTunes and DirectMusicCafe.

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