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Table of Contents...................................................................Beginning Your Journey 8

....................................A Covert Way to Redefine a Conversation 13..............................................Practicing Pattern for the First Time 23

................................................Creating Agreement from Thin Air 25.....................................................Making People Say Yes is Easy 44

........................................................Interrupting Thought Patterns 52...........................In Focus: The All Important Perceptual Position 58

.....Dealing with Objections with Neuro-Linguistic Programming 63......................................Utilizing Key Words to Influence Others 74

.............................................................Building Your Confidence 92

.............................................................The Influential Personality 99.....................................................The Power of Internal Dialogs 108

......................................Create Awareness and Influence Others 113.....................................................Advanced Lessons in Rapport 121

.......................................................Advanced Pacing & Leading 133..................................Planting Thoughts in Your Subject’s Mind 148

.............................How to Sell Products and Services with NLP 168............................Keeping a Team Together After a Big Change 175

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In the previous volumes of my NLP series,

we discussed at length the various

foundations and theories that comprised the

discipline. We also discussed how the

various theories actually come together in

real-life situations.

For example, we discussed how logical

levels can be used to solve problems in

different scenarios and how one must

resolve issues at specific logical levels so

that the whole system can come into

alignment once again.

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In the final volume of my series, we are

going to explore numerous applications of

NLP through special language patterns.

Language patterns are the crown jewel of

neuro-linguistic programming because they

can be applied to different situations and can

be modified at will when the need arises.

And then of course we have to talk about

ethics first, before we get started. I always

include a very short section about ethics in

all of my works that focus on persuasion,

influence or neuro-linguistic programming

because people are sometimes tempted to

use these techniques so that they would

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always gain a one-sided advantage in all of

their social interactions.

I’m not really in the position to tell anyone

how to use his own knowledge. In fact, I

would probably be frowned upon if I tell

people not to do this or that.

But since I’m here, I have a small favor to

ask you: if you are going to use any

language pattern at all with intent to benefit

from your social interaction, do it in such a

way that both parties will gain something. It

is perfectly alright to have ‘selfish’

intentions; we all have them.

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But make sure that whenever you set out to

persuade or influence someone, you do it

because you also have something to offer.

When you are fair in all of your interactions,

people that you have dealt with in the past

will want to deal with you again in the

future. You will be able to create lifelong

partnerships and friendships with people and

this is truly advantageous no matter how you

look at it.

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Beginning Your Journey

Neuro-linguistic programming thrives on the

use of memory and language. NLP language

patterns are a prime example of how the

various theories of NLP can actually come

together as a person attempts to persuade or

influence another person so that he would

agree or change his mind about something.

Using special language patterns is a skill so

don’t be surprised if the patterns don’t just

‘click’ into place the first time you use them.

To jumpstart your practice sessions later on,

I am going to share with you six expert tips

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that will help you use the NLP patterns

effectively:

1.First, rehearse the formula in your mind.

If you are having trouble remembering

the target pattern, just write the pattern

down on a piece of paper or on a small

notebook.

Read the pattern twice or thrice and pay

attention to the key elements only. If you

read a pattern too many times, the

pattern will most likely become

scrambled because the mind will begin

to reject the information (because

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reading it has become repetitive and the

mind doesn’t like repeating things too

much).

2.Check the volume for any examples that

can be used.

3.Begin writing your own statements that

make use of the NLP language patterns.

The statements don’t have to be earth-

shaking in order to be effective. Think of

different scenarios where the target

pattern would be extremely useful and

just focus on creating viable statements

that integrate the pattern.

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4.Read the statements that you have

created to yourself. It would be best if

you read the statements out loud so you

can hear how you sound and you can

also adjust your speech rate, tone of

voice, etc.

5.When you are more confident with your

statement, try to find someone that

would be willing to listen to you and

practice with you.

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6.After practicing with an NLP buddy, it’s

time to practice the target pattern in real

life. Try to find situations where the

pattern in question would be most useful

and just use it as if you were using

normal, day-to-day language. Imagine

the outcome that you want to create so

that your language will align with this

outcome.

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A Covert Way to Redefine a Conversation

Have you ever been in conversations that

became so offensive to you because of the

topics that have been opened up either by

you or by your subject? In such situations,

people often feel like giving up on the

conversation because of the all the negative

emotions that such interactions can actually

trigger.

Well, there is one pattern that can help you

change or shift the topic of a social

i n t e r a c t i o n . I n n e u r o - l i n g u i s t i c

programming, this pattern is categorized as a

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redefining pattern and as I have said earlier,

this pattern can be appropriated and even

modified later on if you want to use it in

other situations.

That’s the thing about these language

patterns – there are not strict rules in their

application. In fact, language patterns

become most useful when a person chooses

to appropriate them the way he sees fit.

So if you encounter a pattern in this volume

that may look better if you added or

removed some elements, by all means, do it.

But I also recommend that you master the

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patterns first before you attempt to modify

them. Like they say in literature classes –

before you knock the canon, know it first.

If you are wondering how this special

pattern can actually help you, here are some

prime examples:

1.If you are losing in argument, you can

use the redefining pattern to gain the

upper hand once again. This applies

especially to situations where you are

taking all the blame for a problem.

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2.You can redefine the topic of a

conversation if a customer that you have

been talking to begins focusing on all the

objections he has to the product or

service that you are offering. You can

use the redefining pattern so you can

instead talk about the advantages that

your offer gives to people.

3.Meetings and training sessions can often

break apart when people become

uninterested and they begin talking

among themselves. The redefining

pattern will pull back the members of a

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meeting so that they can focus on the

agenda of the meeting.

4.The redefining pattern can also be used

in romantic situations. For example, if

you are having a tough time inviting

someone to dinner, you can just shift the

topic so you can ask the girl/guy out.

The beauty of the redefining pattern is that

you can actually shift topics again and again

and the other person won’t feel offended at

all (as long as you are sensitive to the other

person’s responses and you never forget to

look at the subject’s body language).

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The basic formula for the “power shift” as I

call it is:

The focus here is not (A), it is actually (B)

and that is why (C).

The “power shift” pattern has three elements

main elements. The first element (A)

represents the current issue or topic that you

would like to change or shift in the first

place. The second element (B) represents the

new topic that you would like to add to the

conversation. Unlike other NLP language

patterns, the redefinition pattern does not

delete the previous topic or issue.

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Instead of deleting the idea the topic is only

shifted and this is probably the main reason

why this pattern is so powerful in the first

place. By shifting the topic, the subject

would feel as if nothing was actually

removed from the conversation. The final

element (C) allows the speaker to expand

the discussion of the new topic.

The biggest advantage of using this pattern

is you won’t have to exert a lot of effort just

to use it in the first place. The pattern is so

simple that you can shift the central topic of

an interaction over and over again until you

finally get the outcome that you want.

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This pattern can be extremely useful when

you want to produce an outcome early on in

a conversation. For example, if you are

trying to sell an idea to someone and that

person starts talking about his own

problems, you can shift the topic after

listening to him for a few minutes so you

can bring him back to the main topic, which

is your idea.

Here are some examples to get you started:

1.The issue is not that you are not

generating enough profit on a daily

basis, it is what you are actually doing to

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remedy your problem and that is why it

is so vital for you to invest in new

infrastructure to ensure that your

business is getting all the leverage that it

needs to thrive.

2.The issue is not the time that I am asking

you to come home from work it is the

fact that I need help here at home taking

care of our newborn twins and that’s

why you need to make arrangements at

work so you can go home earlier than

usual.

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3.The issue is not the fact that you have

just experienced a breakup, it is the fact

that you would eventually have to move

on get a new boyfriend and that is why

you should consider coming out with

me, even as just friends in the beginning.

4.The issue is not the fact that I was

looking through your email but the fact

that you were not being completely

honest with me a few months ago and

that is why I have to make sure that you

are not doing something that could

potentially ruin our relationship, which I

value very much.

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Practicing Pattern for the First Time

I know for a fact that not everyone would be

able to apply all of these patterns

immediately. In fact, I would be astounded if

someone said that he was able to master all

of the patterns he would ever need in a

matter of days.

I am not saying that this is impossible, but

from my own experience, using these

patterns requires a lot of practice and you

can only get so much practice within the

day.

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The best piece of advice that I can give you

is to just enjoy the whole process of learning

the patterns and applying them to specific

situations in you daily life.

That is really the best way to memorize

these patterns. Using the patterns as

frequently as possible will also allow your

subconscious mind to quickly retrieve the

patterns from memory whenever a need for

them arises. It is also important for you to

commit to the idea of using NLP language

patterns as frequently as possible.

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Creating Agreement from Thin Air

When we talk to people, we usually do it

with either a conscious or unconscious

desire to persuade or influence. We want the

other person to agree with what we have to

say. We want the other person to believe us.

And sometimes, we even want the other

person to do something for our benefit. But

here’s the thing – people like it when other

people agree with them.

And that’s not all – you have to show

agreement during a social interaction if you

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want to see any fast results later on in the

conversation. If you try to disagree with the

subject, there is a big chance that you will

end up being disappointed because the

person just might decide that he no longer

wants to talk to you.

With this in mind, it is extremely important

for you to learn a simple technique called

the agreement frame. The agreement frame

allows you to express agreement but at the

same time it allows you to covertly

influence the other person after you have

just agreed with what he has said.

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This pattern can be quite effective because it

allows you to reduce the resistance of the

subject while you are trying to your best to

influence him. We all know how difficult it

can be to persuade someone who has a lot of

objections. Instead of saying “no” to every

little thing that your subject says, why not

try the agreement frame and see what

happens?

If you are ready to try the agreement frame

yourself, here is the pattern:

I agree with _____________ and would like

to add that _____________.

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The agreement frame makes use of only two

elements. The first element is the idea or

phrase that the subject was talking about

before. The second element is the argument

or idea that you would like the other person

to espouse instead.

This NLP language pattern is actually quite

tricky because it agrees but at the same time

it reverses the direction of the conversation

so that the other person unwittingly agrees

with what you are saying.

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When you use the agreement frame, not only

are you showing that you agree with what

the other person has said but you are also

adding content to the other person’s idea.

We can liken the use of the agreement

pattern to being handed a basket full of

things.

When a person says something to you, it’s as

if you he’s handing over a basket of things

to you.

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You can either accept or reject the basket.

The reason why many arguments and

debates between two people end badly is

that people keeping knocking back the

‘basket’ of ideas. Naturally the other person

would also knock back any ‘basket’ being

handed to him by the other communicator.

The agreement frame emphasizes that you

don’t have to knock back the basket at all.

You just have to accept the basket and add

stuff to it instead before handing it back

politely to the other person. So in the end,

the other person’s idea has been modified

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and he didn’t even realize that an essential

change has already occurred.

Some of you might be wondering: does

using this pattern mean that you would

always have to agree to every little thing that

the other person says in the first place? Well,

it really depends on how you are able to

break down the situation you have in the

first place.

If you find the other person’s idea (or

presence) unacceptable, you can just agree

to a small part of what he said or to

something else that he believes in.

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For example, if you are arguing with another

person about a political event, you can say

something like “I agree that you think that

politics is unimportant and would like to add

that people who discuss politics are often the

ones who are the most informed about the

government and its current actions and

plans”.

If you cannot find anything to agree with,

then just say “I agree that you said that and

would like to add that you are completely

misinformed about the issue at hand”.

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One of the more peculiar characteristics of

the agreement frame is that the subject or the

person listening to you can’t help but listen

and agree to what you are about to say.

The reason for this is you agreed with what

he said in the first place and therefore, his

mind would automatically associate your

statement to that of an agreement. Using the

agreement frame is like turning the mind’s

own processing system against it.

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The person will pay close attention to what

you are going to say and he will consider

your own input because you agreed with

him in the first place. Now, some of you

might be asking: why should we use “and”

instead of the more common “but” when we

are using the agreement frame? Wouldn’t the

agreement frame be more effective and more

covert if a more conventional approach to

constructing statements were followed?

Well, not exactly. You see, in neuro-

linguistic programming we are not just

paying attention to conventions and the

mundane meanings of words.

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No, we are actually more interested in the

outcomes that language produces in the first

place. We use “and” in agreement frames

because we don’t want the other person to

resist the statement at all. Consider these

statements:

“I agree that you said that but I think you are

wrong”

“I agree that you said that and I think you

are wrong”

The only difference between the two

statements that I gave was the “and” and the

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“but” in the middle of each statement.

Which statement do you think would get a

better response, the first one with the “but”

or the second one with the “and”.

Nine times out of ten, people would choose

the second statement. But what exactly is it

about the “and” words that makes it so

perfect for the agreement frame? It’s not

really what it has that makes it appropriate

for the agreement – it’s what it does not do

in the statement. You see, the “but” word is

actually an automatic delete mechanism.

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People use the word but all the time to

discredit other people’s ideas and input. That

is the reason why people usually become

more defensive when a communicator

begins using the word “but” because it

discredits any input that has been given

before.

Now, I am sure that some of you might be

uncomfortable with the main pattern or

formula, so I am going to share with you

some variations of the agreement pattern so

you can choose a variation that works for

you. Let’s start with the first half of the

sentence:

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“I do not say that I completely agree with

the statement that you have just made and I

would like to add that _____________”

“I like to say that I agree with some of the

things that you have just discussed and that

_______________”

“Can I say that I agree with some good ideas

of yours and that ____________”

“I completely agree that you just said that

______________ and I would like to say

that _____________”

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Of course, you can always make some more

variations. Say the words that suit your

purpose and think of more ways to

appropriate this pattern so that you will get

the response that you really want in the first

place. Here are some more examples - this

time we will create variations for the second

half of the agreement frame:

“….. And what I would like to say is that

_____________”

“ … . A n d w h a t I m e a n i s t h a t

_____________”

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Here are some additional statements that

make use of the agreement frame. Feel free

to use these statements as basic models for

your own statements. Just move around the

ideas and the premises in each statement and

I am sure that you can create your own

agreement frames:

“I agree that this product is more expensive

than what the competitor is offering and that

is really a sign that you are getting more

than what the competitor has placed in their

own product”

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“I agree that you are having trouble

understanding this new lesson and would

like to add that as long as you are reading

and practicing all of these patterns, you will

be able to master them in no time at all”

“I completely agree that you are completely

buried in work right and would like to add

that this additional task will ensure that you

will have lighter days in the following

weeks because the project will be done by

then”

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“I agree that this new project is vital to the

life of the company and would like to add

that other more suitable employees are in

this very room and they have a lighter

workload compared to me”

“I agree that I do not show my feelings very

well and that you feel neglected sometimes

and I would like to make it up to you by

inviting you to dinner tonight before we fly

to Hawaii for a second honeymoon”

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As you can see from examples I have just

shared with you, there is literally no

limitation when it comes to the agreement

frame. Everything that you could possibly

need is contained in the basic pattern.

You only have to modify the pattern so you

can use it to produce a desired outcome. Do

not limit yourself to the basic appropriations

of the pattern that I have shared with you

here. Those are just basic examples – create

your own statements when you start

practicing.

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Making People Say Yes is Easy

In the world of persuasion and influence,

nothing comes close to the achievement of

being able to convince someone to say yes

to you. This applies most especially to NLP

practitioners who are studying NLP so that

they would have an easier time during

meetings, business negotiations and regular,

day to day interactions.

So how can you actually condition people to

say yes to everything that you want to say?

Do you have to pull out a magic wand to

make them do things for you?

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Or is the solution actually quite simple that

it would only take a few minutes of your

time to memorize the whole process? Of

course, the answer is the latter. And that is

what we are going to focus on in this section

of the book.

Back in the day, the veteran salesmen who

were selling vacuum cleaners and a variety

of other household wares had this sneaky

technique where they would make

statements that would eventually lead a

person to say yes to the sales pitch. The

hypnotic quality of these people’s sales

pitches is actually easy to analyze.

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They asked really easy questions like “do

you want your house to be clean?” and of

course, they got an affirmative because the

question/s seems harmless enough.

But little do people know that toward the

end of the series of questions, the salesman

would suddenly shift to high gear: “so,

would you like to keep your house as clean

as possible with this new vacuum cleaner

set?”

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Of course, these seasoned salesmen didn’t

know that they were actually using one of

the most effective methods in persuading

other people – the yes set.

Like I’ve already mentioned before the yes

set is really just creating a series of

statements that would be logically answered

by a “yes” so that the person would be

conditioned to say yes when the final call to

action is given.

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Don’t be deceived though – there is a

process involved in creating the ideal

conditions for a yes set. The first step is to

create statements based on facts or

conditions that can be easily verified by the

senses.

After adding two or three statements that

will condition the subject, you will then add

a final element in the equation that would

clinch your victory. Here is an example that

will show you just how these elements

would come together:

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“As you are sitting there, mulling over the

benefits of buying this product, you are

thinking of just how perfect this new

product is for your own use”.

As you may have already noticed, the

statement is actually composed of three

different components. The first wo

components can easily be verified by the

subject. So if we were to place ourselves in

the context of this statement, we would

understand why the subject would agree

easily to the first two parts of the statement.

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The subject would think “yes, I am indeed

sitting on this char. Yes, I am reading the

benefits of the product”. So from the very

beginning, we are actually conditioning the

subject to believe in us completely. We are

covertly gaining the subject’s trust because

we use statements that can easily be verified

as true by the subconscious mind.

When the subject’s subconscious mind has

agreed to the first two elements of the

statement, it would be easier for us to ask

the subject to believe in something or to do

something for us. One of the greatest things

about this approach to persuading people is

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you don’t have to spend a lot of time

mulling over what to do during an

interaction.

You just have to prepare a few statements

and you will let the subject’s mind do all the

work for you. As long as you know which

buttons to press, you won’t have to work

extremely hard to get the outcomes that you

want.

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Interrupting Thought Patterns

And this leads us to another important

technique – the pattern interrupt. We all

know that the mind operates on the principle

of sequences. There are always sequences

involved when a person process or retrieves

information that is relevant to the situation

at hand.

Pattern interrupt becomes a relevant

technique when the subject’s current thought

pattern is no longer desirable. In such cases,

what you can do is to break the current

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pattern so that the undesirable sequence of

ideas will no longer cause any problems.

This can be accomplished in a few simple

steps:

1.First, identify the thought pattern that is

causing problems. For example, a friend

of yours may be going on and on about

how his world is ending because his

girlfriend just left him and he doesn’t

feel like living anymore. This is a

thought pattern and as you can see, it

must be broken or interrupted if you

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want to give the other person good

advice.

2.After identifying the target thought

pattern, break the pattern by suddenly

introducing a new piece of information.

For example, if someone is driving you

nuts because he keeps talking about how

much fun he has had backpacking in

Europe, you can interrupt the flow of

thought by saying something like “look,

I think I saw an expensive sports car!”

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3.When the pattern is momentarily

interrupted, lead the subject to a more

desirable topic.

Pattern interrupt requires some mastery of

pacing and leading so if you haven’t

encountered pacing and leading before, you

may want to review the basic of rapport

before trying this advanced technique.

This will ensure that you won’t be frustrated

when you finally use this technique on real

subjects. It is important that you continually

practice this technique, especially when you

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are around people that you know are

completely safe to talk to.

Now, it is important that you move quickly

whenever you choose to use the pattern

interrupt model. Why? When a person is

suddenly jolted out of his usual thought

pattern, his brain would make a mad

scramble to comprehend what just happened

so that he could go back to his normal

thought pattern.

Sometimes, this only takes a few seconds

(for some, a few minutes). You need to be

able to divert the person’s attention

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immediately from the previous topic or

object if you want this technique to work.

So before you utilize the pattern interrupt,

make sure that you have already prepared

the follow-up idea that will allow you lead

the person to the desired direction. Leading

is so important in this case because the

pattern interrupt, as I’ve already said, is

really an exercise in pacing and leading.

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In Focus: The All Important Perceptual Position

In a previous volume, I have already

touched upon the importance of utilizing

perceptual positions because they allow

people to explore the “why” and “how” of a

situation from more than just one point of

view. We are going to review this important

lesson here because NLP language patterns

are closely tied to individual perspectives.

One of the biggest reasons why people fail

at persuading and influencing others is the

fact that they rarely stop to think what the

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other person could be thinking at the

moment.

We have all been guilty of always putting

ourselves at the forefront or at the center of

a situation. This is a very common

occurrence; people put themselves at the

center and when they fail, the blame usually

falls to everyone except themselves.

While it is not my practice to point fingers

or anything like that, I would like to remind

everybody that the natural viewpoint or the

first perspective, as we have referred to it in

the previous volume, is actually the least

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helpful of all perceptual positions because it

gives you nothing in terms of subject

insight.

The only thing that you can get from the

first perspective if a very narrow perspective

of what is happening and if you continually

use this limiting perceptual position, you

will end up being frustrated at situations and

other people because you cannot get the

right insight that will allow you to solve

your current problems.

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This can be seen quite clearly in many

workplaces around the country. When a

group of employees ‘mess up’, the

administration responsible for these people

are usually the first to tell them that they did

mess up and that they should face the

consequences of their failure.

Now, I’m not saying that people who make

mistakes should always be made the ‘stars’

of a situation. What I am driving at here is

that before any manager or boss can pass

judgment on an individual or a group of

people, there must be careful deliberation

first.

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The problem is that people rarely stop to

think of a situation using different

perceptual positions. Many people think that

a second or third perceptual position is

unnecessary because the first perceptual

position is already sufficient for the purpose

of creating a sound decision. We all know

that this is rarely the case.

For one, it is very difficult to examine a

problem using logical levels if we do not

dissociate from just one viewpoint. For

example, if a group of employees were not

being as productive as they should be, how

will a productivity counselor understand the

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plight of the employees if she does not step

out of her natural perspective?

To an outsider, the employees in question

might appear to be lazy people. But if we

were to dissociate from the first perspective,

we might understand how the environment

and other facts are affecting the employees

in the first place.

Dealing with Objections with Neuro-Linguistic Programming

63

P r a c t i t i o n e r s o f n e u r o - l i n g u i s t i c

programming are well-aware of the fact that

a single objection can cause failure in almost

any situation.

So whether the influencer is trying to sell a

product or get a date, if the person has an

objection to the offer that is not completely

addressed by the communicator, the subject

can just choose to walk away from the

conversation. Of course, we don’t want this

to happen at all.

What we do want is to be able to address

any and all objections so that the influencer

would be able to attain his goal and produce

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the desired outcome. Let us examine a

specific case/situation where a person has to

deal with a variety of objections on a daily

basis.

There was once a physical therapist that had

to sell his service to new clients. Naturally,

this person wanted his own practice to thrive

and so he exerted a lot of effort in trying to

convince the right people that getting

appropriate physical therapy was the right

thing to do.

This physical therapist often had to deal

with customer resistance. Some people

balked at the idea of getting regular physical

65

therapy because they thought it was just

another luxury or another unnecessary

expense. In order to deal with the resistance

to the idea of getting the right therapy, this

guy studied a lot of books on hypnosis and

persuasion.

After years of experimenting and creating

scripts for potential new clients, this person

discovered that two specific patterns were

effective in breaking down open resistance

and hidden resistance – the redefining

pattern and the agreement pattern/frame.

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Open resistance was your regular, run-the-

mill objections that people verbalized.

Hidden resistance or hidden objections are

objections that people often hide from view

because they just don’t want to talk about it.

Now, it is important remember that an

objection is still an objection even if a

person decides not to share it with you.

If the person is still not saying yes to you,

then there is a big chance that he has a one

or more hidden objections lurking in his

mind. As the communicator, it is your task

to discover these hidden objections and deal

with them once and for all.

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Are you ready to break down open and

h i d d e n r e s i s t a n c e t h r o u g h t h e

aforementioned patterns? Here are some

examples to get you started:

“I have discovered some problems related to

your business’ ability to generate sufficient

income on a monthly basis but the good

news here is that everything can be fixed

when you start making some significant

changes in the way you run your business”

“The good news is that you can start playing

baseball after a few sessions of physical

therapy and when you reach that phase in

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your healing you need to make sure that

your knee receives continuous therapy so

that you will be in top condition each and

every time you go to the field to play.”

“I agree that you don’t feel a thing right now

and that you will probably be still fine after

five years and the real issue here is how will

you be faring when you are already sixty

and you are still overweight? Eating more

sensibly and getting a good daily workout

plan is essential in burning excess calories”

As you can see from the examples,

objection-handling doesn’t have to be

complicated at all. In fact, you do not even

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have to exert much effort to disprove anyone

who disagrees with you. People are usually

on the offensive when someone has an

objection.

Little do people know that people get even

more resistant when the other person goes

on the offensive. This is the main reason

why you should never pick fights when you

are trying to convince someone.

People naturally do not want confrontation

and if you pick a fight with someone

because they disagree with everything that

you say, that person would even have more

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reasons to distrust you and disagree with

you.

Now, there would be some instances where

your best efforts with NLP language patterns

would not yield desired result. In such cases,

the problem is probably the type of leverage

that you are using to produce a desirable

outcome.

If the premise of your statement is defective

in the first place, then the whole statement

will not produce a good impact on the other

person. You have to deal with other factors

that are involved in the situation.

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Just to be realistic, I do not really want you

to expect astounding results on your first try.

If your situation improved a little bit

because of one NLP pattern, then that is

great. This means that your skill is

improving and you are definitely practicing

your special new knowledge. If you do not

get the outcome that you want, then it’s

possible that you just need more practice.

A g a i n , d a i l y p r a c t i c e i s h i g h l y

recommended. Five minutes of practice,

seven days a week, is much better than thirty

minutes of practice once a week. There has

to be frequent exposure to the material so

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you would be able to truly internalize what

needs to be said and what needs to be done

in specific situations.

Also, do not forget to have fun with the

patterns that you learn in this volume. I am

not saying that you should goof off with

these patterns. What I’m saying here is that

you must learn how to enjoy yourself so that

you won’t get exhausted in the process.

Many NLP practitioners are aware that new

patterns rarely work overnight. But this does

not deter them from using the patterns

because they are able to study the unique

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responses of people and this adds to the

existing knowledge of the NLP practitioner.

The more you observe people when you are

in action, the better you become because you

will know exactly how people respond to

specific techniques and patterns. So if you

feel that you are not succeeding so much

with these patterns and techniques, just hold

on there – success is just around the corner.

Utilizing Key Words to Influence Others

One of the biggest things that separate

neuro-linguistic programming from all the

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other persuasive arts is the fact that it is very

minimalistic and it focuses on outcomes

more than anything in the world .

Practitioners of NLP know that without a

clear outcome in mind, a goal is not a goal –

it is just a murky idea with no logical end in

sight.

This is the main reason why NLP is very

specific when it comes to its strategies and

techniques. This will be illustrated in this

section as we explore the deeper uses of the

words “and”, “but”, “yet” and “because”. I

wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of people raise

their eyebrows at these words. I can’t blame

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them – these are indeed very commonplace

words.

But here’s the thing – even if these words

are very commonplace, they carry enough

weight to change the impact of a whole

statement. NLP practitioners don’t have any

other tool apart from language. Everything

in NLP is mediated by language. This is why

we always pay close attention to what

exactly is happening when an utterance is

made.

Let us get started. The first special word that

we are going to discuss is the word “but”. In

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a previous section, I have already mentioned

how this word acts as a delete mechanism

within a statement. When a person uses

“but” in a statement, he is essentially cutting

out the first part of the statement, so that the

weight of his words will be fully transferred

to the second part of the statement.

People usually use the word “but” to spare

other people’s feelings (e.g. “You’re nice but

you’re not my type”) in more casual

situations. But did you know that you can

use this word to improve your level of

persuasiveness? The trick is to reverse the

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usual components to achieve a different

impact even if you are still using the word

“but”.

The usual format is:

Positive + but + negative

People often start a statement with

something nice and then they connect the

bottom line with a “but”:

“You have the exact skills but we have to

hire the boss’ son”.

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When you construct a statement like the one

I have just given, any positive element in the

statement is complete erased because of the

placement of the “but” that is placed in

between.

Should the “but” be removed completely

because it keeps deleting the first part of the

statement? Not at all. What you have to do is

reverse the order of the elements so that the

negative component is in the first part and

the positive element is at the last part. So

let’s look at another statement with the

necessary reversal:

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“The boss did not like the report you made

but the good news is that you can easily

revise the report so that he would be

happier”

Examine the previous statement and see how

the reversal can work wonders. Let us look

at the statement again but this time, let’s

perform a reversal once again:

“You can easily revise the report so the boss

would be happier but the boss did not like

the report at all”

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The two statements are essentially the same

thing but the reversal caused the positive

element to disappear completely. So now

you are more aware of how you can create a

more positive response in another person by

simply reversing the elements in a given

statement. What do you think would happen

if we add “and” to the equation? Let’s see

what would happen in the next statement:

“The boss did not like the report you made

but the good news is that you can easily

revise the report so that he would be happier

and how much happier would you be when

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you receive the “employee of the month”

award for the first time in years?”

Of course, the slight twist toward the end of

the statement was intentional and you can

see just how powerful these patterns are

when they are used properly.

By structuring a statement strategically, you

can easily convince a person to just believe

you and agree with what you want to happen

in the first place. Let us look at another

example:

“You cannot go out tonight because you

need to look after your baby sister but you

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can go out tomorrow if you want and how

would you feel if I say that if you stay in

tonight you can borrow the family car all

day tomorrow?”

One can already visualize the reaction on the

teenager’s face as he eagerly accepts the

deal of the century. In reality, the statement

is just another parental crackdown on a

teenager who wants to hang out with his

friends.

But after the message was reframed properly

with the right patterns, the message was

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transformed completely. The recipient of the

message will no longer feel as if he is

missing out on all the fun by staying in. He

will see babysitting as an opportunity to

borrow the car and go where he wants the

next day.

Let’s move on to another magical NLP word

– yet. The word “yet” is used in situations

where the communicator needs some

window to connect his statement to some

form of action or change.

As you may already know, it can be difficult

to actually tell someone to do something for

you. The idea behind the word yet is

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actually quite simple – whenever you need

to tell someone how to behave or how to act,

use the “yet” word to give yourself a little

leverage. Here’s an example:

“It’s true that you got poor grades this

semester yet you can definitely get better

grades next semester by studying harder and

cutting down on all those happy hours with

your friends”.

The first part of the sentence was definitely

a stuck state. It’s negative criticism and it’s

easy to stay stuck in that state because a

negative state can always stand on its own.

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Of course, we don’t want to get stuck on a

negative state. We always want movement in

our own statements because we always have

a personal intention when choose to speak to

someone and if we get stuck, it’s hard to

connect the action component to the stuck

state.

And this leads us to another special word

that can do wonders when you are

attempting to explain something really

important to your subject: because.

“Because” is frequently used to reveal the

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cause-and-effect relationship between

objects in a statement.

People usually say things like “I was late

because there was traffic”. We are going to

harness the convention behind the word

“because” to influence others. Here’s how it

works: you are going to use the word

“because” to connect two ideas that may or

may not be actually connected.

Here’s an example:

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“That is correct, it can be extremely difficult

to understand how to use these NLP pattern

because you have not connected the power

of plain language with the ability to

influence other people”

As can be plainly seen in the example, you

can actually lend some form of legitimacy to

a statement by creating an instant cause-and-

effect relationship between its components.

Here are some more examples to show you

how “yet” and “because” can be used in a

variety of situations:

“The presentation that you have just given

us was good and how much more will

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everyone be pleased when you put all the

graphs in their proper places in your next

presentation?”

“I can almost say yes to the idea that a new

working team shouldn’t be created yet and

you could just tell that to the client who has

been waiting for a few months for a status

report from the company”

“I agree that going to camp alone with your

classmates can be scary but think of how

great you would feel when you finally

succeed in this. The fact here is that you will

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be a much braver boy when you become a

true boy scout”

Important Note:

I know that it can be tough to actually start

practicing the different patterns that you will

come across in this volume and in other

references on neuro linguistic programming.

And I also know for a fact that this fear of

failure can be paralyzing sometimes. But

before you start a panic attack with the

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thought of using these patterns in real life,

let me ask you: what was the worst thing

that happened when you failed to deliver a

statement in the past?

Unless you were in some criminal trial, I

could guess that the worst that could happen

to someone who was trying to say

something really important was that he had

to rephrase what he said so that he would be

understood.

So before you stop yourself because of the

fear failure, ask yourself once again: what’s

the worst that could happen?

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Building Your Confidence

Practicing NLP language patterns can be

tough in the first few attempts because

people are usually anxious about being

caught.

No one wants to be accused of being sneaky

or manipulative – and some individuals can

discern the differences between statements

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with NLP language patterns and regular

language used in day-to-day interactions.

Since our goal is to make NLP patterns a

part of your day-to-day jargon, you might

receive some negative feedback when you

use the patterns. Someone might say that

“you’ve been caught!”. If this happens to

you, do not lose hope.

Do not feel as if you’ve failed. Respond

with something like “Yes, I am practicing

how to be more persuasive around people.

C a n I t r y m o r e p a t t e r n s i n o u r

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conversation?” Of course, the person won’t

know what other patterns you will be using.

And by asking him if you could use more

patterns, the person’s trance state has

already been shifted so that he would be

more amenable to the idea of agreeing with

you. Here are some more quick responses

when someone accuses you of being

manipulative, etc.

“I am actually a practitioner of hypnotic

language. However, if one day you feel like

swinging from the rafters of some building,

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you’re probably just drunk then and it has

nothing to do with me.”

“I’m trying to persuade you? I thought you

were the one doing that! Can you tell me

where you learned your special patterns?

Tell me more please!”

“You think I’m trying to manipulate you out

of your free will? That is indeed a paranoid

thing to say – but hey, I heard that some

shady people were looking for you

yesterday”

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“I agree that I was trying to get you to do

something that is the absolute best thing for

you right now. So punish me now for

thinking about your own welfare.”

If you don’t like any of these examples, you

are free to create your own. The goal is

actually quite simple – you need to shift the

other person’s attention so that he does not

dwell on the fact that you may/may not be

trying to covertly persuade or influence him.

If he dwells on the idea that you may be

doing something ‘strange’ to ‘control his

mind’, his conscious defenses might go up

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and he might become too resistant to all of

your input.

What if someone says that neuro-linguistic

programming itself is bad because it tries to

control how people think? Well, you can just

tell the other people that the point of all

human communication is to persuade or

influence others.

And that without this ability, there wouldn’t

be language in the first place because people

won’t listen to one another. NLP just refines

that ability so that you can attain the desired

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outcome more quickly. NLP is human

communication improved tenfold.

NLP is social interaction polished and

redesigned for better outcomes. And that is

why we stick to our patterns even if we are

sometimes uncertain of how people will

react.

We experiment and we learn from our use of

NLP techniques – and that is how we

become better NLP practitioners in the end.

So before the fear of failure or ridicule

creeps up behind you, always remember that

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there is a bigger goal ahead of you and it

will be all worth it in the end.

The Influential Personality

If you are still anxious about using NLP in

day to day situations, I have prepared a

special exercise that will help you craft a

more influential personality – within the

day! When you are ready, proceed to the

first step outlined below:

1.The first thing that you have to do is to

recall an event in your life where you

knew you could have gotten better

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results. For example, you might have

joined a spelling bee when you were

younger and you didn’t read enough

before the contest.

You got third place but you knew that

you could have done better. That’s the

kind of memory that we need. Clear your

mind and just focus on this memory. Get

all the details in through the VAK

system.

2.When the memory becomes clearer in

your mind’s eye, begin observing what

exactly is happening in the memory.

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After figuring out the general arc of the

event that is taking place in the memory,

pay close attention to what you were

doing in the memory.

So for this memory, you would have to

be dissociated. You have to be involved

but at the same time, you must adopt the

second perceptual position.

3.After observing your behavior in the

memory that you have recalled, I want

you to list down the values and beliefs

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that you have that may have contributed

to your behavior in the memory.

If you remember clearly specific

thoughts running through your mind at

that time, write those “thought trains” as

well.

4.After listing down the factors that have

contributed to your behavior in the

memory, I want you to visualize yourself

in the memory doing what should have

been done to create a different outcome.

Do not be afraid to explore the

possibilities and do not hesitate to use

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your own imagination to conjure what

you could have done to create an

alternative outcome in that situation.

5.Now that you know what must be done

to create a better outcome, I want you

animate a new you in the memory. The

old you has disappeared and in his place

is the new you. Let this new you take

over the memory.

Briefly observe what he is doing before

stepping into the shoes of the new you.

Let him do what he’s supposed to do.

You stepped into his shoes to observe

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how it feels like to be him even for a

brief moment.

Observe the key differences between old

you and the new you. Ask yourself –

why is the new you creating better

results than the old you? What essential

changes have taken place?

6.Now step out of the body of the new you

and let him stand in front. Let the old

you materialize once again. Animate the

new you so that he begins teaching the

old you how to think and act.

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The new you will be the old you’s

teacher. You can do all of these things in

your mind but from experience, it is

always better to talk aloud so you really

hear the words that will trigger the

changes in you.

It is important that you do not mock or

you do not become rude to the old you

for his imperfections. The new you

should be pleasant and encouraging.

Don’t forget – these are just two versions

of the same person! If you mock the old

you, you are essentially mocking

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yourself (which may have deep,

subconscious after-effects that we may

not know about).

You can try this exercise again and again

until you are able to address the various

areas in your own personality that need

improving.

For example, if you are always painfully shy

in social gatherings, you may want to

change that because you won’t be truly

influential if you do not learn how to relax

and just relate to people around you.

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Of course, not everyone would be able to

pull out an action plan to change their

behavior from the top of their head. So it is

alright to stop the visualization at one point

so you can create a list of things that you

want to teach the old you.

Some of you might be wondering – why not

just discard the old you so that the new you

won’t have to teach at all? Well, think about

it – the old you represents you at the present

time.

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The new you did not exist before – he’s a

product of your creative prowess. So in

order for this method to work quickly, we

need to preserve the ‘old you’ so you can

gradually ease into the new behavior pattern

that you have prescribed for yourself.

The Power of Internal Dialogs

Children have this wonderful ability to

create and correct their behaviors through

internal dialog. Of course, you won’t know

that a child is having a conversation with

himself by just looking at him. But trust me,

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children talk to themselves more frequently

than the talk to parents or friends.

We can learn a thing or two about behavioral

modification from children. Children are not

afraid of their imaginations and they never

take their subconscious minds for granted.

Of course, adults would often frown upon

the subconscious mind because this is where

all our greatest fantasies are from.

We daydream using our subconscious mind.

We dream at night through the subconscious.

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And when we feel stark terror, that’s still the

subconscious mind using specific emotions

and memories to send a chill down your

spine.

The subconscious mind appears to be so

powerful and uncontrollable that adults tend

to suppress it because they really don’t

know how to harness its power in the first

place.

And so as a person ages, his subconscious

mind is eventually relegated to the

backburner. Whenever the subconscious

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mind has something to say, it is ignored or

suppressed by the conscious mind.

If you have been suppressing your own

subconscious mind because you thought it

was essentially useless, then it’s time to call

it to the fore right now to serve its purpose.

Even though the subconscious mind is often

touted as the loose cannon of the human

psyche, it is still very powerful. It is one half

of your mind. If it is continually suppressed,

then all you have to work with is just half of

your mind. The other half is lurking in the

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background, unable to do what it’s supposed

to do.

As practitioners of neuro-linguistic

programming, we don’t want this to happen

anymore. We don’t want our subconscious

minds to be suppressed just because of its

nature. So your goal today is to reintroduce

yourself to your subconscious mind.

Experts believe that the general ‘age’ of the

subconscious mind is six or seven years old.

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You can have a conversation with a seven

year old you if you want.

It might freak out some people at the

beginning but trust me – there is nothing

wrong with having an internal conversation

with yourself. Talk to your subconscious

mind and just let it speak to you. Absorb

what it has to say. You might be surprised

how many emotional memories can be

resolved just by having internal dialogs.

Create Awareness and Influence Others

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Yo u r j o u r n e y t o n e u r o - l i n g u i s t i c

programming and special language patterns

would not be complete without awareness

patterns. An awareness pattern can be

created by using words like “notice” and

“realize”.

As long as the word you are using is inviting

the other person to focus solely on what you

are saying next, then it is a good choice.

When people hear about the awareness

pattern, their usual first reaction is “how

does this awareness pattern work?”

Before I answer that, I want to ask you

something: do you remember the words

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“and”, “but”, “yet” and “because”? These

four words are so short and yet when you

add them to statements, the whole meaning

and impact of a statement changes.

This is the exact same thing that happens

when we use words like “notice” and

“realize” – a big change occurs in the

statement.

In the case of awareness patterns, the change

is actually quite powerful: after using the

word “notice” every other detail that follows

is presupposed to be pure fact or the whole

truth. You don’t have to say that what you

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are saying is true. You just have to say

“not ice that __________” and the

presupposition is triggered.

The trigger word can be placed in the

beginning or the middle of a statement; the

effect of the word would be the same. The

person who is listening will still understand

(subconsciously, that is) that what you have

said is actually a plain fact. Nothing is more

powerful than being able to convince

someone that what you are saying isn’t just

an idea or a suggest ion, i t i s an

uncontestable fact.

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Another great thing about awareness

patterns is that they cue the other person to

start reflecting about what you have just

said. This can be an extremely useful pattern

when you want people to really focus on

your ideas because you need to produce a

good outcome at the end of the day.

For example, you can use this awareness

pattern if you want your work to be chosen

over all the others. By using the awareness

pattern, the people in the presentation or

meeting will remember your presentation

the most because you cued them to think

that way.

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Other presenters will use the usual

techniques to catch the attention of the

audience – but at the end of the day, their

words will be no match for your own words

because you used a power-packed NLP

pattern to back up your own ideas.

Here are some examples of how the

awareness pattern can radically transform a

simple statement into a persuasive one:

“By read the data on the graphs you will

begin to see just how powerful this new

business model is”

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“Do you realize how much profit you could

be raking in this month by making these

minor changes in the way you handle your

customers?”

Do you see how the awareness pattern can

work even if you need to ask a question? By

adding the word “realize” to a question, the

question itself becomes open-ended and it

doesn’t really matter what the subject says

after he hears it. It is not a question that can

be answered by a simple yes or no.

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It is a question that must be mulled over so

that the subject can get the insight that you

want to share. The beautiful thing about

awareness patterns is you don’t have to be

extremely intelligent or witty through an

interaction in order to appear competent and

confident about what you are saying.

By asking open-ended questions and by

g i v i n g y o u r s u b j e c t p l e n t y o f

‘revelations’ (e.g. “by looking at these data

notice that the profits suddenly emerged”).

Broadly speaking, this technique will work

in any situation where you need to

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concretize your position as the authority or

the leading expert in the topic.

Because in the real world, only the experts

have the confidence to invite people to

reflect on what they are saying. You can use

this technique to ensure that people will

never doubt what you are saying.

Advanced Lessons in Rapport

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We all know that rapport is important in the

context of neuro-linguistic programming and

even hypnosis. A lot of has already been

written about rapport but at the same time a

lot still hasn’t been discussed by most

experts.

My goal is to discuss the stuff that hasn’t

been touched upon by many practitioners so

that you will have a broader knowledge of

NLP.

Now, one of the biggest advantages of using

neuro-linguistic programming is that you are

able to exert more influence over other

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people without necessarily exhausting

yourself in the process.

There are so many ways that you can gain

the trust of others without exerting a lot of

personal resources. Some people go to great

lengths just to impress and gain the trust of

other people.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t a client to

a restaurant when you need to make some

negotiations but you shouldn’t think that

these extraneous factors have more weight

than what you would be actually saying

during an interaction.

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A guy who has all the money in the world

may not be able to impress a single person if

he has nothing good to say. Inversely, a

communicator who is rich in experience and

knowledge will find it easy to command a

legion of followers because people will

simply trust what he says.

As you may already know, the secret to truly

effective communication is rapport. NLP

language patterns are only helpful if you

have rapport with your subject. If you don’t

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have rapport with the subject, he will

probably mistrust most of the things that you

say.

And if you appear deceptive at any level, the

subject will probably just turn away from

you. Many NLP practitioners think that

rapport is a somewhat mechanical way of

gaining another person’s trust. It isn’t – it is

really a precise method of boosting the

responsiveness of your subjects whenever

you talk to them.

“Responsiveness” means your subject will

tell you what’s on his mind. This doesn’t

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mean that you won’t have to work hard to

persuade the other person at all. In fact,

rapport is just the beginning of a potentially

beneficial interaction between two or more

people.

Rapport is the first step in the right

direction. Remember the old adage

“stepping off on the wrong foot”? This is a

quaint yet very accurate way of saying there

wasn’t any rapport between the individuals

who are interacting.

And what happens when someone steps off

on the wrong foot? Well, the usual outcome

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is that both parties disagree on something. In

extreme cases, a fight ensues.

Of course, we don’t want this to happen. We

want the best possible outcome in any

interaction because that’s what NLP

practitioners do – they produce their target

outcomes with a variety of tools and

techniques.

Now, some people think that you have to

fully respect and even love your subject so

that there would be enough rapport to last

the whole conversation.

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This is simply not true. If you had to do this

for every interaction, I assure you, you are

going to be completely exhausted. Rapport

can be ignited even without those things,

although you are free to ‘add on’ any

element that you think is appropriate for the

given situation. Not all social interactions

are the same so you would have to

experiment with different elements in order

to get the outcome that you want.

In a previous discussion of rapport, I showed

you the classical method of establishing

rapport (e.g. pacing and leading, matching

and mirroring). I wanted you to learn the

classical method first before I taught you

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anything else because advanced techniques

often require expertise of basic techniques.

In this respect, NLP is really like driving a

car.

If you don’t know the basics of driving, you

won’t be able to race safely. NLP is like that

too; without the foundational theories and

skills, it would be very difficult to practice

NLP in the real world. People wouldn’t

know where to go and what to do in the first

place. Knowing some patterns is good but

knowing the foundational skills of the

discipline is even better.

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If you have already mastered the basic

techniques of rapport, you can try this one-

step method in obtaining rapport. When you

are in front of someone and you don’t feel

very confident talking to that person in the

first place, the best way to establish rapport

is to imagine that the person standing in

front of you is actually a close friend or even

family.

The biggest mistake that many beginning

NLP practitioners make is that they often

alienate other people because they are often

seen as subjects. NLP doesn’t want you to

view the world in black and white.

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So when you are talking to people, do not

take away that natural, human element just

because you want to employ some advanced

persuasion techniques. No advanced

persuasion technique would be able to save

a bad interaction from crumbling even

further.

So when you are in that situation where you

don’t know exactly how to establish rapport,

just imagine that the subject is someone you

already know. Your body language, verbal

language and vocal language will all change

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when you think about the other person

differently.

If you think you are talking to a close friend,

your body and mind will begin to relax. This

will show in how you greet and shake hands

with the other person. By showing that you

are comfortable with the other person, you

are also shining a light as to how competent

you can be in handling people. This will

immediately boost your positive self-

projection.

Your subject would immediately feel that

you really want to interact and that you have

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something important to share – and that is

why they would stop, pay attention and pay

really close attention to what you have to

offer. Unless you have the person in this

zone you have to keep working on your

rapport-building skills. Again, this advanced

technique will only work well if you know

how to handle the other factors involved in

establishing rapport.

Advanced Pacing & Leading

In a previous section, we talked about how

we could get people to say yes by creating a

third element after two verifiable elements

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have already been introduced. We are going

to expound on this lesson here and I’m

going to provide some more examples so

you would be able to use advanced pacing

and leading in almost any situation.

As I’ve mentioned before, the idea behind

pacing and leading is that you will first

match the person’s behavior and speech

before trying to lead him.

This is easy enough to say – but how can it

actually be done when you are already in a

conversation or social setting where you

urgently need to pace and lead someone?

Let us review the formula once again:

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Verifiable fact + verifiable fact + call to

action

My formula for a good leading statement

has three elements. Why three elements?

Well, in my experience you would have to

build up that trust and anticipation in the

subject before he starts saying yes to what

you are offering.

You can try adding two or more elements

(verifiable elements, that is) but that might

stretch your statement too far. If you are

asking for a sale or a vital decision, you can

probably safely add two more verifiable

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elements at the beginning to reinforce the

thought pattern.

Remember – what we are doing here is not

mental magic or trickery. We are actually

conditioning the subject to say yes to what

we are saying in the first place.

Good thought conditioning often requires

strategic repetition and timing. So if you are

thinking that these patterns will work after

the first attempt, I’m telling you right now

they probably won’t.

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Here’s an example so you would have

something to analyze as we move along with

the discussion:

“We have already reviewed the pertinent

details and features of the product? You feel

comfortable knowing that this product will

probably give you the best profit margin in

the whole lifetime of your business? You are

ready to purchase it today so I can have

some people deliver it to you within one

hour?”

As you can see, the series that I have just

given is composed purely of questions. The

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first two elements are plain enough and can

easily be verified by the person’s short term

memory. But as for the last element – that is

a completely different proposi t ion

altogether.

The last question is actually a call to action.

I want someone to buy something from me.

But the way I phrased it, it was as if I was

asking the person if the weather today was

alright for him?

Naturally, a person who had been

conditioned well before this point in time

will just say yes to the final question

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because there has not been any real reason to

say no in the first place.

Now, I have to emphasize here that

whenever you connect two verifiable

elements with a final condition or offer, it

would be best to create a causal link

between the first two elements and the last

element by adding the phrase “and that

means”.

Adding this phrase creates a causal

connection between the closing statement

and the first two elements. Using the phrase

“and that means” sounds better than using

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the word “because”. Here are some

examples to get you started:

“You have been part of this big organization

for many years; showed your clout when it

comes to handling high-pressure projects

and the like and that means you are the best

possible choice for this new position that

requires longer hours”

“Having signed up for this new training in

NLP and reading more references than what

is required in the course syllabus shows just

how confident you are in handling this new

subject matter”

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“Staying here with you tonight, watching

classical comedy DVDS makes me feel like I

am the best girl in the world”

“You have read the specifications of the

project; you have come here with your own

well-written proposal as to how your group

can handle the requirements of this project

and that means you will be able to provide

the r ight de ta i l s dur ing our f i rs t

negotiation.”

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“I have worked tirelessly in your company

for eight months now and I have never been

late even once, not even after I stayed after

hours to finish projects that were left in mid-

air by the guys who quit, and that means I

really need to get a promotion or at least a

basic raise so that I would feel that the

company is aware of my contributions these

past few months”

Below is an example of a pace & lead

statement that helps the subject look forward

to something:

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“Having seen all my files today in our

negotiation, when will you be deciding to

hire my team of programmers so we can

finally get started on your business’ main

website?”

It should also be noted here that multiple

NLP language patterns can be combined in a

single statement. As long as you have some

clear goal in mind when you are creating

your statement, you should be fine. Here are

some more statements that make use of two

or more patterns. Observe how the patterns

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are used and where the trigger words are

placed:

“Not doing well in your classes and failing

my subject just means that you have got your

priorities down wrong. You are tackling stuff

that do not have any direct bearing on your

future; but the real issue here is that you

have all the potential in the world, you are

just not tapping into your own pool of skills.

Notice how your parents react whenever you

bring them the smallest bit of good news;

that means you can make them even happier

by doing your homework tonight”

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“I agree that you deserve the job more than

anyone in the world because of your

experience and skills and that means that

the company that you contacted was

probably a bad fit in the first place. Why

don’t you submit your CV to a rival company

and see how it goes from there?”

Another element that you can add to your

persuasive statements is the conditional

close. A conditional close is simply a phrase

that allows the other person to reflect on

what needs to be done so that you can attain

your goal.

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Conditional closes are a great way to

uncover any hidden objections that a person

may have regarding an offer. For example, if

you are offering someone a new product and

he continues to refuse your offer, you can

add a conditional close like “what do I have

to say or do so that you would see just how

beneficial this product can be to improving

your productivity?”

This technique is so straightforward that I

am fairly certain that you would be able to

apply a conditional close without any

problems. Just make sure that you use the

right body language when you are giving the

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conditional close so the subject does not feel

offended by the straightforward conditional

close.

You should always remember that NLP

patterns can only get you so far in the game

of influence and persuasion. You still need

to pay attention to the other major factors

that all have a big impact on how people see

and understand you.

For example, if you do not appear confident

and competent when you are trying to sell an

idea to someone, no amount of NLP will

help you convince that person that what you

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are saying is true because at that precise

moment, the problem is not really the

content of your message but how your

message is delivered to your audience.

Always keep this in mind when you do not

get your desired outcomes in your social

interactions.

Planting Thoughts in Your Subject’s Mind

There are times when NLP practitioners just

wish that they could plant specific thoughts

into the minds of their subjects. While there

is no direct way to do this, there is an NLP

language pattern that might be able to help

you achieve something close to that.

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You see, when a person listens intently to

another person, his unconscious mind is

wide open – it accepts and imagines objects

and events as they are fed by the speaker.

This is the opening that we want to take

advantage of. With this opening, you would

be able to gradually influence a person into

thinking in a particular manner. Why does

this technique work in the first place? The

answer lies in the mind’s supreme ability to

create internal representations.

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Whenever we receive information or stimuli

from the world at large, our minds create

internal representations to make sense of the

stimuli. If we hear the word “hot”, many of

us would suddenly conjure imagine a

whistling kettle or a hot cup of coffee.

Without internal representations it is actually

quite hard for a person to make sense of the

world. By creating internal representations,

people are able to cross-reference past

experiences and memories. And this is

essentially how we are able to survive – by

using our memories to guide our present

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decisions and actions. So how will you be

able to take advantage of this opening?

Easy – instead of resorting to the usual

language and expressions that we all use to

convey our own thoughts and emotions, be

more careful with the words that you use

because your subject’s subconscious mind is

listening carefully to what you are saying,

even if the subject appears to be uninterested

in your discussion. Here are some examples:

“Studying these NLP language patterns is

hard”

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“Studying these NLP language patterns is

not very easy”

If you compare the two sentences that I have

just provided, you will see how the words

affect the impact of each sentence.

Obviously, the first sentence (“studying

these NLP language patterns is hard”) would

be less desirable compared to the second

sentence (“studying these NLP language

patterns is not very easy”).

Since people do not usually spend a lot of

time mulling over the things that they hear

and see, you can be sure that the words that

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you use will be cross-referenced by your

audience so that they would be able to

understand what you are saying without

having to use a lot of cognitive resources.

We can imagine the reaction to each of these

statements:

1st statement – “NLP language patterns are

difficult? I will never be able to master these

things!”

2nd statement – “NLP language patterns are

not very easy? Sure I can handle that, I’m a

tough mug!”

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Of course, some people might react

differently to the statements. What I am

emphasizing here is that you must learn how

to anticipate the responses and outcomes

that your words create. Remember – you are

fully responsible for all the outcomes that

you produce when you set out to talk to

someone.

You must not think that you keep failing at

something because of the people around

you. Before looking at the problems brought

about by other people, examine your own

communication method first. If absolutely

no th ing i s wrong wi th you r own

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communication method, then that is the time

that you can confidently say that there are

external factors that are working against

you.

But until such time, you should assume that

the problem is internal. Why do I emphasize

this so much? Well, think about it – if we

had to rely on other people for results, then

we would actually be helpless all the time.

Other people won’t make it a point to

change themselves for our sake.

That is the reason why we should work hard

to adapt to challenging situations so that we

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would always be in a good position to

achieve our goals. Do not think for one

second that your success as a master

influencer or NLP practitioner depends on

‘meeting the right people at the right time’.

You can create success in your life at any

time.

Now, let us move on to other phrases that

will help you lead your audience. There are

six words and phrases that I would like you

to examine. These are:

- Suppose

- Imagine

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- Visualize

- Think about

- What if

- How about

These words and phrases are quite special in

the context of neuro linguistic programming

because they actually instruct people how to

think. People won’t notice the fact that they

are being told what to think, but you get the

picture. Take a look at the following

examples:

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“Imagine being able to have the vacation of

a lifetime where the sun is always up and

you can try jet skiing any time of the day”

“Consider the possibilities of having your

own business that operates on auto-pilot,

twenty four hours a day, seven days a

week.”

“Suppose you had $100,000 to spend in just

24 hours – what would you buy and why?”

“What if you had every resource you ever

needed to achieve your dreams?”

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“How about being able to hire really good

people for your business any time you feel

like hiring someone new?”

“Think about the possibilities of having ten

different sources of income working

tirelessly to bring you the life that you have

always wanted”

When you use words like “imagine” and

“think about”, you are actually commanding

the listener to form images in his mind. We

have been conditioned to do this because of

linguistic conventions.

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This is the language that we have become

accustomed to and this is how we will react

to such words for a very long time. Now, we

can actually expand the idea of forcing

internal representations by using another

covert NLP technique. This NLP technique

produces statements that sound so innocent

and natural that people wouldn’t even know

that you were trying to persuade them to do

something for you. Here is an example:

“When I think about a brand new car, I

always envision myself behind the wheel,

smelling the new leather and holding the

shiny new steering wheel. And then I turn on

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the music system and kick my car into

reverse so I can drive off into the sunset with

my new pair of wheels. No other experience

provides the same thrill as having a brand

new car”

By using a specific sentence structure, I was

able to create a long statement that

expounded the benefits of getting a new car.

The difference between my statement and all

the other statements that we usually see in

car advertisements is I actually allow the

reader to experience firsthand what I feel

when I am behind the wheels of a new car.

Interestingly enough, people’s imaginations

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go into full throttle when the right verbal

triggers are placed in any statement.

The subconscious mind is always on the

alert for opportunities to use its imaginative

function. So even if people do not believe

you or they do not want to listen to what you

have to say, their subconscious minds will

be rapidly firing as they create the images or

internal representations that you want your

audience to think about.

As can be plainly seen, there is no magic

involved nor are we overly concerned with

complex statements. We want fast outcomes

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which is why we use simple techniques that

flat out work.

Now, I have to remind you again that you

need to practice these different patterns

frequently if you want to make them sound

natural when you are in a social interaction.

Also, I want you to practice so much that

you will be able to pull out every tool and

pattern that you could possibly need without

a hint of hesitation.

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I know that the whole process of

memorizing and applying these patterns can

be tough sometimes, but trust me – it will all

pay off in the end. Just make sure that you

refer back to this volume if you are using

any of the patterns that I have included here.

In fact, I would be extremely happy if you

actually read this book at least two times to

get the full benefit from these patterns. And

as a final note on studying – do not forget to

jot down notes.

Now, there is also a way for a person to

access the emotions of another person as he

is tapping the other person’s imaginative

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space. The first step in this process is to

provide the subject with an initial internal

representation that he would be able to use

in the conversation.

An example of this would be “I think having

our vacation in the tropics would be a great

way to unwind”. The second step cueing the

other person to feel something in a certain

way. Here is an example: “when I think

about the tropics I always imagine the cool

breeze tickling my neck and the warm sun

just rejuvenating my spirit”.

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When the experience cue has been given to

the subject, the next step is to begin asking

them questions that will help them expand

what they have already imagine and what

they have already felt as they listened to

you: “how do you think it would feel if you

were on a vacation for a month in the

tropics?”

By asking the subject questions, you are

directly encouraging the subject to use the

internal representations that you have given

them. We do not want the subject to lose

sight of these internal representations – we

w a n t t h e m t o i n d u l g e i n t h e s e

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representations so that they would be less

resistant to the idea that you are offering

them in the first place.

Now, if you are planning to use this pattern

for the first time in a venue like a meeting or

presentation, then I request that you put it

off until you are completely ready and

confident with your kills. You see, a lot of

things can go wrong when you are using a

pattern for the first time.

I’m not saying that you should not try using

the pattern but if there is a lot at stake, it

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might be better if you practiced with a friend

first before trying it with your manager or

boss. That way, you would be able to adjust

the parameters of your statements if they

don’t sound good or if they do not sound

convincing enough.

How to Sell Products and Services with NLP

Writing a sales script can be extremely

tough for folks who have never done it in

the past. While this volume isn’t about

copywriting per se, it does not mean that we

cannot discuss the process of writing a sales

script. This simple process can also be used

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when you want to directly sell something to

someone in a meeting or conversation.

Although I must say that with all of the

details involved in a full sales script, the

outcome would be much easier to review if

it was printed or if it was posted on a

website. If you are ready to learn how to

promote or sell something using NLP

techniques, proceed to the first step.

1.The first step in writing a sales script

with NLP is to build the interest in what

you have to say. Before you can provide

a ton of details to your audience, you

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have to catch their interest first. The

easiest way to do this is by creating a

good story that would be interesting to

your target audience.

By interesting I mean a story that would

really matter to your audience. You can

focus on your audience’s beliefs,

behavior, attitude, etc. so you can create

an effective story that would hook them

in after a few seconds of hearing or

reading your story.

It would also be helpful if you created

some anticipation in the story. You can

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start your pitch with a short snippet of

your story and then continue the

gripping tale later on.

That way, your audience would have

something to look forward to and they

would be happy to read through the

other stuff that you have to say just to

get to the conclusion of your story.

2.The second step is determining the needs

of your audience. If you are trying to sell

a group of people a product or service,

what you are offering must matter to

them in the first place.

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If your product does not matter to your

target audience directly, then you must

make it matter by identifying values and

beliefs that actually connect to the

features and benefits of what you are

offering.

For example, if you are selling a new

health drink to a group of students, you

can say that the special protein in the

health drink actually helps in memory

improvement and also helps people

focus when they need to study.

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The need is obvious – students often

have a tough time focusing on their

studies because of the sheer volume of

books and lessons that they have to pore

through every semester.

By phrasing your pitch in this manner,

your product becomes the answer to the

need or problem of the target audience.

It is actually quite easy to tie up needs

with benefits – I leave that to you. As

long as you are creative with your pitch,

you will definitely succeed.

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3.The next step is to expound on the

specific benefits after going over the

general benefits. A sales script is never

about the product or the person doing the

pitch.

People don’t care if you have been in the

business for twenty years. All they care

about is what they would actually get

from paying money when they buy what

you are offering. So always put their

needs at the very center of the sales

script at all times.

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4.The final step is to build the excitement

at finally ending the target audience’s

problems. You have to show them how

easy it is to meet those specific needs

with what you are offering in the first

place.

Keeping a Team Together After a Big Change

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Change is often met with lots of resistance.

This reality is seen most often in the

workplace, where people are mostly

preoccupied with keeping their jobs and

adapting to the demanding nature of their

work.

When change comes, people are often weary

and angry that they have to go through the

change. If you have ever been in that kind of

position before, you know how tough it can

be. So here is a step-by-step guide to

breaking bad news to a group without

tearing apart the group from the inside.

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1.Step one is to inform the team directly of

what is about to take place. Don’t say

the actual change out loud. There has to

be some element of anticipation so that

everyone would pay close attention to

whatever you are going to say.

When someone mentions something

about work or changes at work,

everyone stops dead in their tracks to

listen in. When you are sure that you

have everyone’s attention, proceed to the

next step.

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2.The second step is give the full details of

the change. This is the time where

people would start feeling angry at

management or whoever is responsible

for the changes at work. Though not

everyone will be open with their

feelings, you can be sure that a lot of

people will be unhappy with the news.

3.The third step is to strengthen the

group’s self-identity. Remind them that

they belong to a group and that they

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should stick together to survive the

change.

Reassure everyone that support will be

available to them regardless of what is

going to happen. At this point in time,

the members of the group will begin to

feel better. They might be wary, still, but

at least they will start feeling better

about the situation.

4.The next step is to inform the team of

any key changes in their roles and

functions. For example, if someone was

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assigned to be the new team leader, you

have to tell that new leader about his

role.

You have to do this systematically so

that everyone would be able to

understand what kind of changes they

should expect at work. Do not hold back

information from the team as this will

only cause a torrent of problems later on.

The more the team knows, the better off

they would be.

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