T A C T A N D D I P L O M A C Y

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T A C T & D I P L O M A C Y

Diplomacy encompasses having your needs met in a way that doesn’t demoralize

or hurt another person. Tact includes taking the feelings of another into consideration and responding in a

way that demonstrates understanding. Examples of lack of Tact and Diplomacy are numerous

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I N VA L I D A T I O N

Invalidation is the opposite of Tact & Diplomacy

Invalidation is an action that denies another person’s right to be heard and

understood.

1% invalidate « intentionally to spread the misery and manipulate/control

others »

20% invalidate «semiconsciously as a defense mechanism. »

All of us do it at times, most not intentionaly.

Invalidation is

The most lethal form of emotional abuse,

Killing confidence, creativity, and individuality

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1 0 WA Y S T O I N VA L I D A T E O T H E R S

Ordering: « I don’t care what your boss told you to do. I’m telling you that I want you to do it my way. »

Threatening: « If you don’t come up to speed, you won’t have your job for long . »

Preaching: « You shouldn’t act like a spoiled brat. Maybe that worked when you were a little girl, but it doesn’t work

now. »

Giving solution: « Just ignore him when he insults you. »

Lecturing: « In this economy, you should be happy you have a job. »

Critisizing: « You are wrong. »

Blaming: « John was the one who insisted we do it this way. »

Minimising: « Oh, it’s not that bad. ». « You are making too much of this. »

Changing the subject: « Forget about your concerns. How was your weekend? »

Denial: « You will see it differently tomorrow. »

TACT & DIPLOMACY

STARTS WITH EFFECTIVE

LISTENING

5 W A Y S T O E F F E C T I V E L I S T E N I N G

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1 F O C U S I N G

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2 E N C O U R A G I N G

ANYONE CAN TALK FOR HOURS IF ENCOURAGED (a.o nodding or saying yes, …)

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3 P A R A P H R A S I N G

Person A talks about something important to them

Person B encourages Person A by repeating selected words and phrases

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4 R E F L E C T I N G F E E L I N G S

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5 S U M M A R I Z I N G & S U P P O R T I N G

S O U R C E

S O F T S K I L L S R E V O L U T I O N S

M A X I M E K A M I N

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