“take action” relational aggression · pdf file“take action”...

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“Take Action”

Relational Aggression

Patch Program

Bullies, Targets and Bystanders…all are

part of the Relational Aggression

equation. In this patch program, we

can work toward empowering girls to

“Take Control” over this problem that

seems to be spread through girls’ lives today. Girls complete this patch to

discover, connect and take action to learn how to get out of the

problem and be part of the SOLUTION.

Bullying isn’t just a middle-school thing and it is NOT “A RIGHT OF PASSAGE”

as so many people say. It starts in preschool, getting more prevalent in

elementary school, seems to peak during the middle school years, and

declines during high school. Except for hazing, we do not hear much about

bullying in colleges and universities. We do hear about abusive spouses and

workplace bullies, however, which underscore the fact that bullying is a

learned behavior that must be unlearned. Bullies don't just grow up and grow

out of it. We end up working with them, meeting them in our daily lives and

at times “they” might actually be our daughters. What is important is that all

people involved must be taught better ways of relating to others.

That's where you come in. As a Girl Scout leader, you have witnessed the

bullying yourself, or you've heard the reports or rumors. You believe that

young people have the right to feel safe, secure, accepted, and valued at

school and at youth activities, free from teasing, name-calling, harassment,

threats, intimidation, violence, and fear. And since Girl Scouts is supposed to

be a SAFE SPACE for all girls, it is imperative that we make our meetings free

from this behavior.

By helping the girls in your troop participate in the following activities you are

promoting intervention and prevention. It's not enough to stop the bullying

that's already happening; we also need to keep students who aren't yet

bullies or victims from starting down that road. Pat yourself on the back for

wanting to be a part of the Solution!

Thank you for serving the girls!

BulliesBulliesBulliesBullies

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Discover, Connect, Take ACTION!

Keeping aligned with the Leadership Model of the Girl Scouts, the following

activities are delineated into the three areas of Leadership: Discover, Connect and Take Action activities.

This program was developed by the Program Department of the Girl Scouts of

Tanasi Council, Inc. It has been adapted from the Girl Scouts of Colorado Council’s

“Power Up” Anti-Bullying (Relational Aggression) Program as well as other materials,

experience and knowledge of seeing the need for girls to recognize the issue

(DISCOVER), realize how the problem affects them and others (CONNECT) and that

they can do something about it and do it! (TAKE ACTION)

NNNOOO

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Discover

Safe Space

Required: 1st-12th grades

Objective

Establish group culture, norms, peer accountability and common purpose

Girls create a space where kindness thrives and girls feel comfortable sharing

sensitive issues.

Materials:

- Markers

- 3 pieces of 8 ½ x 11 cardstock

- Girl Scout Mission Statement

Procedure:

• Check out Tips before beginning. Introduce a “talking object” to the girls.

This can be anything from a feather to a stone to a Koosh ball to a decorated stick.

When you have the object, you can talk. If not, remain silent, be respectful.

• Talk to girls about the MEANING of Girl Scouting. “We need to decide how

we’re going to act and treat each other when we’re together. Pretend I’m an

alien. I have no idea what will hurt your feelings, how to

make you feel safe enough to have real conversations

about tough subjects”

1st-4th graders

“This is a Girl Scout program. In Girl Scouts, we are honest

and fair, courageous and strong, and responsible for what

we say and do.

In Girl Scouts, we are honest and fair. That means…

In Girl Scouts, we are courageous and strong. That means…

In Girl Scouts, we are responsible for what we say and do. That means…

5th-12th graders

Choose three volunteers who want to write and give each a piece of cardstock

and a marker. Ask one to write courage, one to write confidence, one to write

character. “This is a Girl Scout program. Girl Scouts builds girls of courage,

confidence and character, who make the world a better place. So what’s a

ground rule we want for this group?” When a girl gives a rule, ask her where it

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belongs, courage, confidence or character. Then the girl with that sheet writes

down the rule.

Tips:

• Be sure ground rules are specific. If a girl says “Be nice,” ask her what that

looks like and record a more specific answer.

• Avoid “swimming pool rules” (don’t run, don’t dive, don’t, don’t, don’t…).

• Ask the girls to turn negative statements around into positive statements of

what they do want.

Bubblicious: When confidentiality comes up, the girls usually want a “what is said in

this room stays in this room” rule. Confidentiality is crucial, but so is getting the girls

to share the information and use it when not in a SAFE space. Introduce the

concept of being “bubblicious.” “When we close the door, we create a bubble.

We become bubblicious. Can we all agree not to do or say anything outside that

will pop the bubble or hurt the relationships we’ve developed in this room. And if

anything does happen outside this room that could pop the bubble, can we agree

to deal with it in this space?”

Girl Scout

Mission Statement Girl Scouting builds girls of courage,

confidence, and character, who make the

world a better place.

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Discover

Swap

Optional: 1st-12th grade

Girls will discover how they are each girl feeling

that day through taking an inventory of how they

really do feel. They also will learn to exhibit

empathy to their peers by actively listening to how

others feel.

Materials:

None, other than empathy and a listening ear

Procedure:

Stand or sit in a circle with your left hand held palm up and your right held palm

down. Put your right hand on top of the left hand of the person next to you, and

the person on your left will put their right hand on top of your left.

Explain “I’m going to ask a question and we’ll pass the answers around the circle.

(Tapping their right hand with yours). After I answer, the person on my left will ask

the next questions for the group.

Play until everyone has asked a question or until you run out of time.

Discover

What’s the Weather?


Objective:

• Discover how each girl is feeling that day

• Model to girls how to adapt to each girl’s individual needs for the moment

Materials:

None

Procedure:

Sit in a circle, preferably on the floor. “We’re going to tell each other how we’re

feeling today based on the weather. Are you sunny, stormy, a tornado? What?”

Ask if they want to go around the circle or popcorn (tossing the object to whoever

wants it next). Ask who wants to go first, and then toss her the talking object. She

chooses who goes next until everyone has gone.

Checking In Although it

takes time, check-ins are

a great way to build

culture. They can be

done at the beginning of

each meeting. The girls

can provide their own

check-in questions, or

you can be creative with

your metaphors (fruit,

shape, animal, ice cream

flavor, etc.) If speed is of

the essence, they can

pick a number from 1-5.

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Discover and Connect

Definition of Bullying


Objective:

Define bullying and make the connection between bullying and power

Materials:

- Signs: “Bullying is…” and “Bullying happens when”

Procedure: (Note: An asterisk * indicates that the sign says the same thing as this

paper)

• Hold up the sign with the definition of bullying.

• Talk about the meaning, ask for examples.

1st-6th grade

* Bullying is…

• getting pleasure from other people’s pain

• When one person is HAPPY because another person is SAD (ask the girls to fill

in the blanks – one person is laughing because another person is… one

person is… because another person is…)

• on purpose

• mean

• not okay

* Bullying happens when…

• People think being different is not okay

• People believe they are better than other people and deserve things other

people don’t (because I’m pretty, popular, athletic, etc.)

• People think it’s okay to be mean to people you don’t like

• There’s an imbalance of power

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6th-12th grades

* Bullying is…

• Getting pleasure from other people’s pain

• When one person is happy because another person is sad (ask the girls to fill

in the blanks – one person is laughing because another person is… one

person is… because another person is…)

• Conscious & deliberate

• The point is to harm

*Bullying happens in a culture when there’s…

• Sense of Entitlement: Because I’m…(fill in the blank)/ I deserve better/ I

should be able to do things other people can’t or have things other people

can’t

• Intolerance of Difference: Being different (in ability, age, ethnicity, gender,

place you live, health, language, mental health, family, race, religion, sexual

orientation, socioeconomic level, spirituality, etc.) is not okay

• Liberty to Exclude: It’s okay not to care – to ignore or be cruel to people you

don’t like

• Imbalance of Power: Power is not only physical, but psychological and

emotional too

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Bullying is…

• getting pleasure

from other people’s

pain

• When one person is

HAPPY because

another person is SAD,

etc.

• on purpose

• mean

• not okay

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Bullying happens when…

• People think being different is not okay

• People believe they are better than other people

and deserve things other

people don’t (because I’m

pretty, popular, athletic,

etc.)

• People think it’s okay to be mean to people you don’t

like

• There’s an imbalance of

power

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Bullying is…

• Getting pleasure

from other people’s

pain

• When one person is

happy because

another person is sad,

etc.

• Conscious &

deliberate

• The point is to harm

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Bullying happens in a culture when there is…

• Sense of Entitlement: Because

I’m…(fill in the blank)

o deserve better

o I should be able to do things other people can’t or have things other people can’t

• Intolerance of Difference: Being

different (in ability, age, ethnicity,

gender, place you live, health,

language, mental health, family, race,

religion, sexual orientation,

socioeconomic level, spirituality, etc.)

is not okay

• Liberty to Exclude: It’s okay not to care

– to ignore or be cruel to people you

don’t like

• Imbalance of Power: Power is not

only physical, but psychological and

emotional too

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“In” or “Out” of the Box

Optional: 4th – 12th grades

Objective:

Conduct this activity and discussion with your group to explore discrimination and

examine how the pressures to conform to social and cultural definitions of femininity

shape girls’ attitudes and behaviors toward self and others.

Materials:

Flipchart or white board

Markers

Procedure:

• Draw a box on the flipchart. Ask students to consider what a girl/woman

should be like, look like, and act like to be liked by others or to be popular.

Write their responses inside the box.

• Now ask students to consider what a girl/woman would be like, look like, and

act like who wasn’t liked by others. Write tier response outside the box. For

example:

Gay

Loner Pretty Popular

Thin Nice No friends

Nice hair Athletic

Fat Acne

“As girls and women, we are all subject to the pressures to be considered as having

the characteristics that put us “inside the box.” The characteristics outside the box

are used as a way to target girls to regulate their behavior and appearance. Girls

who are considered “outside the box” often face teasing and exclusion from other

girls and boys.”

“Consider this situation involving a girl in the popular group at school:”

“One of the girls in her group teases a girl that is overweight. Even though she may

feel bad that her friend is teasing this girl, she doesn’t say anything.

ASK “WHY?”

In this situation, the girl doesn’t say anything because, if she does, she will be put in

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the same place as the girl her friends are teasing, “outside of the box.” The threat

of being “outside of the box” keeps her (and most of us) silent. As soon as we

perceive someone as being “other” than us, we don’t relate to him or her. When

this happens, we more likely to be mean to someone or to watch and do nothing

when others are hurting someone. In particular, when girls gossip about a girl being

“gay” sometimes that girl will seek out boys to prove she belongs “in the box.”

Journal:

Ask girls to pick one of the qualities they believe “keep a girl in the box” and

describe how a girl might feel who as this quality; does not possess this quality. How

hard do you think it is to stay in the box?

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Connect

Stop the Bullying


Objective:

To help establish an effective climate for learning and serve as a reminder of the

effects of hurtful actions.

Materials:

Paper cut out of the “person” shape or materials for the girls to make their own.

Procedure:

• Provide each girl with a small paper cut-out in the shape of a human or have

them make their own.

• Have them write their names on their cutout.

• Girls form a circle and pass their cutout to the person on the right.

• That girl makes a small crumple or rip in the cutout or make a mark on it with

a pen or marker.

• When the cutouts have made their way around the entire circle, have the

girls try to repair their cutouts by flattening, erasing or taping them.

• After they are “repaired” discuss the activity.

• Talk about the effects of unkind words and hurt feelings

• Give the girl back her cut out to decorate to tailor it as one would have to

do to build her own self-esteem.

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What Do I Look for in a True Friend?

Optional: 4th – 12th grades

Sometimes it is important for us to reflect upon what we really look for in a friend!

Some things you may already know and some could totally shock you? Rank the

friend qualities below in order from:

ABSOLUTE MOST IMPORTANT QUALITY -- DOESN’T MATTER TO ME” QUALITY

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 1 0 1 1 1 2 1 3 1 4 1 5

______ How smart they are

______ What kind of home they live in

______ The brand of clothes they wear

______ How honest they are

______ What their hair looks like

______ How much they listen to you when you have a problem

______ If they like the same movies/TV shows as you

______ What kind of car their parents drive

______ How much fun you have with them

______ How popular they are

______ What religion they are

______ How much you can trust them

______ How much they gossip about other people

______ What size they are

______ How dependable they are

Read carefully over what you ranked and write down one thing you learned about

yourself?

Is there anything else that is important to you in a friendship?

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Connect

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

(Optional: 2nd-12th grades)

Objectives

• Discover the girls’ biggest friendship issues

• Identify behavior patterns in a positive relationship

• Begin distinctions between normal conflict and bullying behavior

• Differentiate between tattling and telling

• Differentiate between normal conflict (bad) and bullying (ugly)

Materials:

• 2 Post-It Notes per Girl

• Pens/Pencils

• Signs: “Good”, “Bad”, “Ugly”, and “Bullying vs. Conflict”

• Wall-Safe Tape

Procedure:

• Give each girl 2 post-its and a pen or pencil. On one post-it, write the best

things about being friends with girls. On the other post-it, write the most

challenging thing about being friends with girls.

• While the girls are writing, place “good”, “bad”, and “ugly” signs across a

wall of the room. Ask the girls to put their post-its on the sign where they think

it belongs.

• Ask the girls where you should start – good, bad or ugly. Read a post-it from

the sign they pick and ask the girl who placed it there why she chose that

location. Then take it through the continuum. Example: girls choose to

begin with ugly, and you pull a post it that says “Drama!” After the girl(s) who

put it there explain why it’s ugly, ask “is there a time when drama is just bad

and not ugly?” After they’ve processed that, ask “can drama ever be

good?” If they get stuck, guide, “Is it good that girls are dramatic and

expressive and passionate about life?”

• The goal of this activity is to teach the girls how to think about conflict vs.

bullying, not what to think about individual behaviors.

Teachable Moment: A discussion about secrets should come up naturally in this

activity. If not, bring it up. “Is telling secrets good, bad or ugly? When should you

keep a secret? When should you tell?” Scenario: My dad yells at me a lot and

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sometimes he hits me. But don’t tell anyone, because it’s personal and I don’t

want to get in trouble.” What do you do?

Tattling vs. Telling

• Tattling is getting someone into trouble.

• Telling is getting someone out of trouble.

• If it’s both–tell an adult and they’ll help you figure out what to do. If the

solution doesn’t help, try again.

Processing:

• GOOD is the way we wish friendship could be all the time.

o However, people are different. In addition, because we’re different,

we have different ideas and want different things, which can lead to

conflict.

• The BAD list is normal conflict. Normal conflict happens, but if you handle it

with honesty and kindness, it’s not hard to get back to good. If you don’t

handle it, things can turn ugly.

• UGLY is bullying behavior. It is physical violence, verbal abuse and name-

calling, taunting, excluding people, gossiping or whispering about them,

getting pleasure out of another’s pain. Bullying is when one person is smiling

because the other person is hurt, one person is laughing because the other

person is crying, and one person is getting pleasure from another person’s

pain. Alternatively, they actually do not care that someone is in pain or that

they have hurt someone.

Tip: Use the “Normal Conflict vs. Bullying” sign as minimally or significantly as you’d

like.

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Connect

Normal Conflict vs. Bullying / Relational Aggression

Normal Conflict Bullying/Relational Aggression

Equal power Imbalance of power

Happens occasionally Repeated negative actions

Repeated covert actions

Accidental Purposeful

Not serious Serious with threats of physical or

emotional harm

Attempts to hurt through humiliation

and/or exclusion that affect social

status and relationships of victim

Equal emotional reaction Strong emotional reaction from victim;

little or no reaction from bully

Not seeking power or attention Seeking power and control

Not trying to get something Attempt to gain power, material things

or gain popularity

Remorse – takes responsibility No remorse – blames victim May or

may not show remorse

Manipulative approach may try to

make victim believe what they are

feeling is not real

Effort to solve problem No effort to solve problem may deny

there is a problem

May challenge by asking for specific

examples of their behavior

Victim may not be able to articulate

because of complex social dynamics

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Discover

Three Types of Bullying


Objective:

Recognize the three types of bullying and their impact

Materials:

- Sign: 3 Types of Bullying

Procedure:

1st-5th grades (6th-12th grades)

Explain and discuss the 3 types of bullying.

• Physical Bullying

o Doesn’t happen very much (Least common)

o Used most by boys

• Word (Verbal) Bullying

o Most common

o Used equally by boys and girls

o Used to dehumanize a target or make it seem like a person is only one

thing

o Defines a person as only one thing

• Friendship (Relational)Bullying

o Gossip & rumor – talking about things you shouldn’t or telling lies about

someone

o Leaving people out

o Ignoring people

o Used most by girls

“We’re going to talk about what physical, word (verbal), and friendship (relational)

bullying look like in your life. You can pass if you’d like, but the talking object won’t

come back to you if you do. If you’ve seen physical bullying, what has it looked

like?” Pass the talking object around the circle – do not popcorn method of

picking girls to share.

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“Now we’re going to talk about word (verbal) bullying. These words are really

mean or bad words. Remember, my job as an adult is to protect you from

things that hurt, not the other way around. You can the words if you want, or

say “the z word” or another substitute. What words have you heard used to

bully people?” Pass the talking object around once. If it will be helpful to the

girls, define what the word means.

Make sure you discuss at the end. “Do you think people use these same words

in other schools? Other towns? Other states? People use the same words in

New York City and tiny towns in Colorado because they hurt people. It doesn’t

necessarily have anything to do with the target; it’s just a mean and nasty thing

to say that really hurts someone.”

“Finally we are going to talk about friendship (relational) bullying. If you’ve seen

people gossip, spread rumors, leave people out, or ignore them, what has it

looked like?” Discuss how much this behavior hurts.

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• Physical Bullying

o Doesn’t happen very much (Least

common)

o Used most by boys

• Word (Verbal) Bullying

o Most common

o Used equally by boys and girls

o Used to dehumanize a target or

make it seem like a person is only

one thing

o Defines a person as only one thing

• Friendship (Relational)Bullying

o Gossip & rumor – talking about

things you shouldn’t or telling lies

about someone

o Leaving people out

o Ignoring people

o Used most by girls

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Fruit Choices

Required: K-12th

K-3rd Grade

Objective:

Process with the girls “how does it feel to be left out?”

Materials:

• Paper plates (one for each girl)

• Markers, crayons or colored pencils

Procedure:

• Have the girls pick between one of three fruit choices (ie: grapes, apples

and bananas or bananas, oranges and strawberries, etc.)

• Instruct the girls to choose their favorite of the three fruits and draw and

color it on their paper plate.

• When they are all done with their pictures, ask them “Why did you choose

a certain fruit?” (They like the flavor, have allergies, they wanted to do

what their friends took, etc.)

• Next, have the girls move around the room to sit with the rest of the girls

that chose the same fruit ONLY. Ask them “What if you could only site with

people that had the same fruit choice as you and no one else?” “What if

your best friend chose a different fruit?” “Should you still be friends?”

“Does having a different fruit make us different from others?” (yes) “Should

we still treat everyone with kindness?” (yes) ‘Is being different bad?” (no,

obviously)

• Let everyone sit where they want to sit and complement each other on

their pictures.

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Fruit Choice Dice Game

Required: K-12th

4th – 12th grade

Objective:

Process with the girls “how does it feel to be left out?”

Materials

For the leader: One giant die with different colors or fruit pictures (included

below) where numbers are. Can also fashion a “Spin the Wheel” as in Twister©

One for each girl:

• Fruit shapes to cut out and color (on the template)

• Template to paste them on

• Markers, crayons, colored pencils

• Glue/glue sticks/scissors

Procedure:

• Have the girls color and cut out the fruit shapes then paste to the

template. (grapes, apples , bananas, oranges and strawberries and blue

berries)

• Instruct the girls to assign a name of a friend in their lives that is important

to them to each fruit on the template (if last resort they can put family

members but it is better if they use friends’ names). Make sure they ONLY

put people they care about and not fair-weather or people they do not

really like.

• When they are all done assigning names roll the giant die and share

results with class. Depending on the color that comes up on that side of

the die tell them to draw a large “X” over that fruit. Roll the die a second

time. (Do one more time if you feel the point will not be made or if it is not

made when you explain at that phase of the activity).

• Now, let them know what each color represents

o Red / Strawberry– this friend is not attractive enough

o Blue / Blueberry– this friend is disabled or challenged in some way

o Green / Apple – this friend is poor or wears clothes that aren’t “in

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style”

o Purple / Grape– this friend is of a different race

o Yellow / Banana– this friend is seen as a “nerd” or a “geek”

o Orange / Orange– this friend is someone that people call “fat” or

someone that people call “way too skinny”

• Next, ask them:

“What if you could only be friends with or hang out with people that are NOT

marked with an “X” and no one else?” How does that make you feel?

“How would you feel if your best friend in the world was one that WAS marked

off?”

“How would YOU feel if YOU were the one “X’d” off someone’s list for something

like these reasons?

“Should you still be friends anyway if that means being made fun of by others?”

Should you be friends with that “X’d” person even if you are made fun of by the

group of people you hang with because of it???”

“Does having or not having these differences make a person BETTER or NOT AS

GOOD AS others?”

“Should we still treat everyone with kindness?”

Is that called “compassion?”

So what is a REAL friend?

“Is being different bad?”

Isn’t a “fruit basket” with honest choices better than begin forced to have to

make this choices.

***If you feel like it as a presenter and you have the time bring up how this

relates to discrimination and how we have moved from the lunch counters and

“All White” bathrooms of the 60’s but that there is still discrimination every day

around us because of personal differences…and it ALL is hurtful.

Ask girls to process what bully would feel like in any of the positions above. A

Witness or bystander? A target?

Which would they like to have as their friend?

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1. ____________________________

2. _________________________

3. ____________________________

4. _________________________

5. ____________________________

6. __________________________

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Connect

Power Play

Required: K-12th

Objective:

Understand the different roles that we each play in a bullying drama and

recognize we have a choice of what role we play

Materials:

• 2 sets of signs

o 1st-3rd grades - Bully, Bystander, Target, Defender

o 4th-12th grades - Bully, Assistant, Reinforcer, Ignorer, Target,

Defender

• Scenarios:

o 1st-3rd grades 4 roles

o 4th-12th grades 6 roles

o - Pie chart showing 85%

Procedure:

1st-3rd grade

• Explain the four roles of bullying, holding up signs.

o Bully – Gets pleasure from other people’s pain

o Bystander – Tries not to be involved

o Target – Person who gets bullied

o Defender – Helps stop the bullying

4th-12th grades

• Explain the four roles of bullying, holding up signs.

o Bully – Gets pleasure from other people’s pain

o Assistant –Joins in the bullying

o Reinforcer – Gives positive feedback to the bully

o Ignorer – Tries to be an outsider & pretend the bullying isn’t

happening

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o Target – Person who gets bullied

o Defender – Gets involved to help stop the bullying

• Ask for 4 or 6 volunteers. Each girl picks a sign. Tell the girls you’re going

to read scenarios aloud and each girl should figure out whether her

character is playing the bully, the target, the defender, etc. Ask the girls

to try to figure out who is the bully, the target, the defender and the

ignorer. Begin with easy, straightforward scenarios where all the roles are

present, then progress to more complicated scenarios with grey areas.

• Alternate: Split the girls into groups of 4 or 6. Let each girl pick a

nametag. Let them read the scenario and plan a skit to act out for the

group.

• Discuss how their character behaved in the scenario and why

o Ask round 1: Why do you think your character was the… (target,

defender, bully, etc.)

o Ask round 2: How does your character feel?

o Ask round 3: Who has the power in this scenario?

• If there’s time, split girls into groups and let them make up and practice

their own scenario to act out for the group.

• “Who really has the power in a bullying drama? Facts – 6% of students

bully, 9% are targeted, and 85% are bystanders. What would happen if

85% of us stood up when we saw bullying and said no?”

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Bully:

Gets pleasure from other

people’s pain

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Bystander:

Tries not to be involved

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Target:

Person who gets bullied

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Defender:

Helps stop the bullying

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Bully:

Gets pleasure from other

people’s pain

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Assistant:

Joins in the bullying

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Reinforcer:

Gives positive feedback to the

bully

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Ignorer: Tries to be an

outsider & pretend the bullying isn’t

happening

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Target:

Person who gets bullied

43

Defender:

Helps stop the bullying

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1st-3rd grade

Angela won’t stop making fun of Janelle because she wears clothes that aren’t

“cool.” Angela’s friend Kim hears her but pretends to not notice. Serena sees

that Janelle is really sad. When Angela walks by Janelle and says, “Did you get

those clothes from a garage sale?” Serena says, “That’s mean. Janelle, I think

your shirt is pretty.”

1st-3rd grade

The girls on the soccer team are planning a sleepover, but Janelle doesn’t want

to invite Serena because she’s new to the team and too quiet. In school, Janelle

tells Serena, “Too bad you weren’t invited to our sleepover.” Angela acts as if

she does not hear her. Kim tells Janelle, “If you don’t invite Serena, I’m not

coming either. We’re supposed to be a team.”

1st-3rd grade

Kim has invited all of her friends to a skating party. Angela doesn’t know how to

skate. Kim points at Angela and says, “Look at her!” Serena giggles. Then

Janelle says to Kim, “Not everyone knows how to skate yet.” Janelle takes

Angela by the hand and they sit down for a snack.

1st-3rd grade

Angela, Janelle and Serena always get to the swings first during recess. One

day, Serena won’t let a new girl, Kim, get on the swings. Serena says, “You’re

not part of Serena’s super swing club.” Janelle just keeps swinging. Kim tries to

get on the swings but Serena holds the swing out of her reach. Kim gets tears in

her eyes. Angela says, “That’s silly, Serena. The swings are for everybody.”

Angela gives Kim her swing.

4th-12th grades

Maria is everyone’s favorite target. She’s the smallest kid in class, wears glasses

and is good at reading and math. All of the teachers love her, but the kids think

she’s kind of a dork. She’s walking in the hallway when Serena trips her and she

falls down and drops her stuff everywhere. Kim kicks her book across the hall.

Angela laughs. Janelle rolls her eyes and walks away. Ruby picks up Maria’s

books for her and walks her to her next class.

4th-12th grades

45

A new girl, Angela, walks up to a lunch table and asks if she can sit in an empty

chair. Ruby doesn't look at or answer her. Ruby crosses her legs across the chair,

smirks at her friends and says, “Don’t you think girls who wear ponytails look like

babies?” Janelle nods, “No one wears pig tails anymore!” Maria giggles, but Kim

just looks out the window. Later that day, Serena finds Angela in the bathroom

crying. Serena tries to comfort Angela by saying, “That was mean thing that

Ruby did to you, would you like me to walk home with you?”

4th-12th grades Every time she sees Maria, Angela makes fun of her because

she wears clothes that aren’t “cool.” Angela’s best friend, Kim, joins in whenever

she’s there. Serena pretends to not notice, but Janelle can’t stop giggling. Ruby

sees that Maria is really upset. When Angela walks by Maria and says, “Did you

get those clothes from a garage sale?” Ruby says, “That’s not cool. Maria, I think

your shirt is awesome.”

4th-12th grades

A group of friends is having a sleepover and start gossiping about the girls at

school. Everyone agrees that Ruby is really stuck-up and flaunts her family’s

money all the time. Kim says, “Yeah, Ruby may have money now, but she’s still

just white trash.” Everyone seems shocked at first, but then Serena bursts out

laughing, and Janelle says, “Yeah, they moved into that house out of a trailer!”

Angela looks uncomfortable but quiet. Maria looks at Kim and Janelle and says,

“That’s an awful thing to say!” Kim says, “My dad says that all the time.” Angela

says, “Ruby may not be the nicest girl in school, but that has nothing to do with

where she lives or how much money she has.” Maria says, “I’d rather be friends

with her than you if you’re going to say horrible things like that!”

4th-12th grades

The girls on the softball team are planning a sleepover, but Maria keeps telling

them that they shouldn’t invite Ruby because she’s new to the team and too

quiet. In school, Maria tells Ruby, “Too bad you weren’t invited to our

sleepover.” Angela says, “Yeah, you’ll be missing out on all that pizza.” Kim puts

on a show pretending to be sad. Janelle acts as if she doesn’t hear the

conversation. Serena says to Maria and Angela, “If you aren’t inviting Ruby, I’m

not coming either.” Janelle says, “Yeah, that’s mean. We’re supposed to be a

team.” Maria says, “Okay, fine. She can come.” Serena and Janelle walk over

to Ruby and Janelle says, “I really would like for you to come to the sleepover.”

4th-12th grades

Serena is picking soccer teams in gym class. She picks her best friend Ruby. Ruby

whispers to Serena, then loudly says, “I bet nobody picks Janelle.” Serena picks

46

Angela. Angela pretends as if she doesn’t notice they are picking on Janelle

and walks straight past her. Ruby whispers to Serena, “Don’t pick Janelle again.”

Serena picks Maria. Maria smiles as she walks past Serena. Kim sees everyone

excluding Janelle. When she is picked, she says, “Ruby, it’s not okay to pick

teams like that. I’d rather be on the other team with Janelle.”

4th-12th grades

Serena has been friends with a group of girls since Kindergarten. This year, she

notices her best friend, Ruby, has stopped passing notes to her. At lunch, Serena

asks Ruby, “Why don’t you pass me notes anymore?” Ruby says, “I just have new

friends now.” Maria says, “Serena, you’re just not cool. You’ll never get it.”

Angela laughs uncomfortably. Kim keeps eating. Janelle looks at Ruby and says,

“Ruby, that’s not okay. Come on, Serena. When you guys decide to be friends

again, you know where to find us.” Janelle and Ruby get up and go sit with

another group of girls.

4th-12th grades

Janelle, Ruby, Maria, and Angela always get to the swings first during recess.

One day, Janelle won’t let a new girl, Kim, get on the swings. She says, “You’re

not part of the super swing club.” Serena says, “Yeah, so there.” Ruby starts

giggling. Maria just keeps swinging. Kim tries to get on the swings but Janelle

holds the swing out of her reach. Kim gets tears in her eyes. Angela says, “That’s

silly, Janelle. The swings are for everybody.” Angela gives Kim her swing.

4th-8th grades

Kim has invited all of her friends to a skating party. One girl, Janelle, doesn’t

know how to skate very well. Kim points at Janelle and says, “Look at her!”

Angela says, “Yea, check out the baby.” Serena giggles at Janelle. Ruby just

keeps skating. Then Maria says to Kim, “Not everyone knows how to skate yet.”

Maria takes Janelle by the hand and they sit down for a snack.

4th-12th grades

Serena is not popular. She lives in a very poor neighborhood, her family doesn’t

have a washer or dryer and her clothes are often dirty. Angela’s parents have a

big house, horses and a silver Hummer. At lunch, Angela sits at a table behind

Serena and loudly exclaims, “Something smells bad in here? Do you smell that?

It smells like Serena in here!” Maria screams “Ick!” and Kim nods, holding her

nose and giggling. Ruby seems really busy eating. Janelle, the gym teacher

walks up and asks, “What’s all the laughing about?” Angela smiles sweetly and

47

says, “It just smells so bad in here. Can’t you smell it?” Janelle sniffs, tilts her

head, and says, “Yeah, it does smell pretty bad.” The whole table bursts out

laughing. Later that day, Kim calls Serena to apologize for how she and the

others behaved and asks Serena if she would like to come to her house

tomorrow after school.

4th-12th grades

Kim is picked on a lot at school. In the hall, a group of girls starts to taunt her.

Serena calls out, “Hit her!” Ruby slaps Kim across the face. Both girls look

surprised, but Serena quickly smiles. A larger group is now surrounding the two

girls and Janelle starts chanting “Fight, fight, fight.” Maria pretends there is

nothing going on and keeps rummaging in her locker. Angela quickly runs to tell

a teacher what is happening.

4th-12th grades

Maria is absent from dance class today. The girls start to talk about why she’s

missing. Kim goes to school with her, but didn’t notice whether or not she was

there. Kim says, “Well, she’s one of those people. Her parents are probably too

busy drinking Tequila to bring her.” Serena says “Yeah. I heard her dad won’t let

her leave the house because she’s a girl.” Janelle, the dance teacher, looks

annoyed, but keeps leading stretches. Angela walks away from the girls and

goes to do her stretches with some other girls in the class. Ruby says, “That’s not

cool. We shouldn’t be telling stories about her just because she’s not here.”

6th-12th grades

Maria, Kim, Serena, Janelle and Angela have been friends since pre-school. Angela

went to a party with her cousin on Saturday that none of her friends were invited to.

Although she promised to tell her friends all about it Sunday, she never called any of

them (they never called her, either). Angela misses school on Monday. At lunch, Maria

says, “Wow! That must have been some party on Saturday if Angela still can’t get out of

bed.” Janelle says, “No kidding. I know they were drinking. Her cousin’s a lush!” Maria

asks Serena and Kim, “Do you think she got caught?” Serena and Kim don’t answer, so

Janelle says, “Totally! Her mom’s really strict. I’ll bet she’s in rehab!” Within two hours,

the school is buzzing with the rumor that Angela’s missing school today because she’s in

rehab. That night, Serena’s mom, Ruby, has heard about Angela’s “situation” and tells

Serena, “I don’t want you spending time with Angela anymore. She’s a bad influence.”

Tuesday, Angela comes to school after spending the day sick with food poisoning only

to be asked, “How was rehab?” four times on the way to her locker in the morning. Kim

joins Angela at her locker and says, “There are some nasty rumors going on about you.

What happened this weekend?” Once Angela tells her the real story, Kim tells

everyone she hears spreading the rumor what the truth really is and sits with Angela at

lunch when no one else will.

48

Power In Numbers

THE FACTS…

Bystanders

Targets

Bullies

In a bullying drama…

6% of people bully

9% are targeted

85% are bystanders

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The Bully, the Bullied and the Bystander

Optional: 3rd-12th grade

Objective:

• Learn traits of a bully, a target, and a bystander

• Identify solutions for each participant

Materials:

• 3 Poster boards

• Markers

• Signs:

o “Why Bullies Bully,”

o “Common Thinking Errors,”

o “Who gets Targeted?”

o “Witnesses don’t act because they’re…”

Procedure:

• Split girls into 3 groups. Give each group a poster board and markers.

They need to choose which group is doing the bully, the target and the

bystander.

• Draw a picture of your person. Give each group their sign. On one side,

write some traits that role has. One the other side, write things they could

do to make a bullying situation better.

• When they’re done, have them present their posters to the other groups.

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Why Bullies Bully • Value the rewards that

aggression can bring.

• Lack empathy and compassion.

• Lack guilt and shame and blame the victim.

• Often have social status and power.

• Like to be in charge and to dominate.

• Parents (or other role models) often model aggression.

• Think in unrealistic ways.

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Common Thinking Errors

• Everything should always go my way.

• I don’t care if I hurt other people.

• I shouldn’t have to follow rules or do boring things

• Lying can keep you out of trouble.

• I never make mistakes and things are never my fault

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Witnesses don’t act

because they are…

• Afraid of getting hurt.

• Afraid of becoming a new target of the bully.

• Afraid of doing something that will make the situation worse.

53

Who gets

targeted? Why?

• They are different.

• They are alone.

• They may have been targeted in the past.

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Take Action

Doing Nothing? Not an Option!

At the completion of this session, participants will develop a plan to effectively

intervene when they witness bullying and practice that plan.

How to Help (Required)

Defender Drills

Wish for the World

Take Action

How to Help Required: K-12th

Objective:

Understand the keys to successful intervention

Materials: • Sign:

o “Keys to Helping”

o “Safe 2 Tell Hotline”

Procedure:

• Discuss these rules for helping. What does each one mean and why

should we do that? Discuss what it means to be respected and safe.

o Doing nothing? Not an option. (You’re always playing a role. If you

do nothing, you’re ignoring, which the bully and the target think

means you’re on the bully’s side) o You stay safe. o The target keeps her dignity. o Don’t bully back – the bully deserves dignity, too!

•

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Keys to Helping

Doing nothing?

Not an option! • You stay safe.

• The target keeps her dignity.

• Don’t bully back – the bully deserves dignity, too!

• Call the SAFE-2-Tell Hotline for Help.

1-877-542-SAFE

56

Call the

SAFE-2-Tell

Hotline

for Help.

1111----877877877877----542542542542----SAFESAFESAFESAFE

57

Connect

Defender Drills

Optional: 2nd-12th grades

Objectives:

Establish a script to use when confronted with bullying behaviors and vocalize a

defense in your own words

Materials:

• Insult Cards

• Signs:

o 1 Bully sign

o 1 Target sign

o 1 Defender sign

Procedure:

• Review the Keys to Helping

o Do nothing? Not an option!

o You have to be safe.

o You have to protect the target.

o The bully gets to keep their dignity.

• Now that you know the basics, it is time to put it into practice.

• Count off by 3’s. When you say “GO” they will line up in three straight

lines. The one’s will begin as the targets, the two’s will begin as the bullies,

and the three’s will begin as the defenders. The people at the front of the

lines will face off in the center.

• “I’m going to stand by the target, holding up the cue cards. The bully will

read the card, directing the insult at the target. The defender will step in

to help the target.”

o It is the job of the entire group to speak up when someone uses a

poor or inappropriate defense

o Also, if the girls are having difficulty, the facilitator could read the

signs as the bully

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Guidelines:

• Remember: Bullies don’t attack the target because of the target. They

get pleasure from the target’s pain. They don’t necessarily believe the

target is actually a lesbian, or sexually active, or even ugly. They have a

“bully script” of mean and cruel remarks that they use for any target that

crosses their path. That’s what the bully line shows.

• The target line shows that anyone can be target. Anytime. Anywhere.

The only way to stop it is for someone to stand up and say THAT’S NOT

OKAY!

• The defender line shows how easy it is to stand up. With a few words, you

can deflate a situation before it blows up into a major bullying drama.

Use your own defense scripts, and then get the target out of the bully’s

aim.

• Before we do this activity, we need to make sure that everyone feels safe.

Know that you’re not really being targeted, you’re playing a role. Even if

what is said is something you think someone might really say to you (or has

said in the past), the cards are random. The bully is playing the role too.

• While you’re waiting, listen closely to the defenses. Give the defenders

feedback when you hear a strong defense or when you hear something

that doesn’t fit the keys to helping.

• When the three girls in the front of the line are finished, the girl in the front

of the targets line will move to the back of the bully line, the girl at the

front of the bully line will move to the back of the defender line, and the

girl at the front of the defender line will move to the back of the target

line. (So eventually every girl will get to explore every role).

Tips for Defending:

• Keep it to 10 words or less – the more you talk, the less impact you make.

• Avoid questions – questions give the power back to the bully and give

them a chance to re-target. (Example: “Why are you being so mean to

her?” Because she’s….”)

59

You Dress Funny!

60

You’re a Dork!

61

You Can’t Sit With Us!

62

Go Away!

63

You’re Stupid!

64

You’re Fat!

65

You’re Ugly!

66

Your Head is Too Big!

67

You’re so Gross!

68

I Hate You!

69

Your Shoes Stink!

70

You’re Dumb!

71

You Can’t Play With

Us!

72

No One Would Talk

to You!

73

Go Home to Your

Mommy

74

What did you do to your hair!?

75

Guess what I heard

about you!

76

You’re a Loser!

77

You Have Bad Breath!

78

Why are you talking

to me?

79

You Smell Like Trash!

80

What is with that outfit?

81

You’re lame!

82

This table is by invitation

only!

83

You’re really wearing that?!?

84

You’d kiss anyone!

85

You think he could

like you?!?

86

Point at the target and

laugh.

87

You’re the devil!

88

Why are you talking

to me?

89

You’re gay!

90

You’re a lesbian!

91

You’re a $%&#!

92


First Impressions

Optional: 4th-12th grades

Objective:

Find out how first impressions either taint or guide our feelings and actions that can

then lead to bullying

Materials:

• photos of typical (or not typical teens and pre-teens)

• faux biographies of the girls

• tape

Procedure:

• Fold biographic statements under photo and lightly tape to the back of the

photo (so that the words are face down)

• Tape the photos to the wall several feet apart.

• Seat girls around the photos without explaining the activity…just that you are

going to talk about friends and a general discussion of friends and girl-friend

relationships.

• Ask the girls to silently go stand under the photo of the one that they would

like to have as their friend. If there are more photos than girls, take some

down to equal the girls in your group. If there are more girls than photos, ask

for volunteers to equal to the number of photos to participate.

• If biographic descriptions do not seem pertinent to the group in which you

work, write your own.

• Process how you can’t judge a book by a cover

• Be sure to include photos of girls that will make for discussion regarding the

concept of first impressions and that it is important to make non-judgmental

decisions.

o Processes how not doing so makes a lot of people lose out.

o Be sure to include picture of someone that is overweight, someone that

looks the opposite of the person you think your girls would hang out

with, etc.

93

She is angry at you for getting

a better grade on the test

than she did but she never

told you. Instead she just acts

as if she likes you but talks

about you behind your back.

She secretly talks

about the guy you

like behind your back

and tells others you

are dumb for going

out with such a

“loser” (but then she

flirts with him on the

side!!)

94

She thinks you look dumb

in that new outfit you

bought and won’t hang

out with you if you keep

wearing it and generally

dressing like that. She is

always a fashionista and

feels like you just are a

loser for not dressing like

she and her friends.

Because she has always

been made fun of for

being overweight, she

knows what someone

would look for in a friend.

She wants to be your friend

and would be loyal until

the end. (Provided she

doesn’t find you making

fun of her behind her

back!)

95

She really hopes you aren’t

going to join band because

she doesn’t want to go on

band trips with you. You are

just fine in class, but feels that

you are just needy and gets

irritated with you. If you go

on the band trips also, she’ll

go crazy!!!

She has serious bouts of

sadness and depression but

when she is not feeling bad,

she is a riot!!! She just wishes

someone would show her

some compassion rather than

calling her a freak and not

giving her a chance. Of

course she gets snippy! No

one will get out of her

business. Sometimes she just

would like to have a friend.

96

She is always

so fun to be

with but the

other people

you hang out

with can’t

stop making

fun of her

behind her

back. You try

not to join into

it but when

you don’t

they seem to

start on you.

Although she looks

nice enough, she is

used to be a severe

pill addict and

actually were

hospitalized for the

3rd time this year.

Since she came

back to school she is

really doing a lot

better and seems to

have gotten her life

back on track.

97

She is cool and

a lot of fun but

you are white

and go to an all

white school.

Being with her

even a little will

make your

friends you’ve

had since

elementary

school shun you.

She is deaf and

dates someone

outside her race.

Others make fun

of her and she is

a little weird but

you like her. But

hanging out with

her is a

reputation killer.

98

She is the new kid in

school and acts

pretty weird. But she

seems to be just the

type of person that

you think would

make a good friend.

The few talks you’ve

had at your locker

make you want to

be her friend.

99

Connect

“I am special…EVERYONE is special”

Mobile and Bracelet

Required: Mobile (K-2nd) and Bracelet (3rd-12th)

I.A.S.E.I.S. MOBILE

I AM SPECIAL - EVERYONE IS SPECIAL

K-2nd

We often are told that we are special or that we need to feel good about ourselves.

However, we need to remember that EVERYONE is special in his or her own way?

We cannot be mean to others just to make ourselves feel better. In doing this, we

are just hurting ourselves. You cannot push someone over to get to the top…it just

does not work that way. So, YES, you ARE special…but so is everyone! Imagine if

we had a world where EVERYONE felt special about themselves. Sounds like a

pretty great place!

Make a mobile as a reminder that “I AM SPECIAL - EVERYONE IS SPECIAL” right along

with you! Treat others as you want to be treated!!! It might just come back to you!

Materials:

Letter pieces:

• “I” = 2

• “S” = 2

• “E” = 1

• “A” = 1

• Mobile body/base

• Chenille stems (short and medium length-to attach letters to body)

• Chenille stems (long-for hanging)

• Paper punch

• Crayons, colored pencils

Procedure:

• Begin with the girls coloring the mobile body and the letter pieces.

100

• Next, make sure there are holes punched in tops of all the letter pieces and

the bottom of the mobile body (6 evenly spaced)

• After girls have finished coloring instruct to put chenille stems (medium and

short in a varied pattern) through the holes in the letter pieces and the mobile

base.

• Twist stems closed on back of mobile.

• Adjust so pieces hang correctly

• Place the long chenille stem at the top for a hanger

• Reinforce with the girls that every time they see their mobile they need to

remember that YES they are SPECIAL but that they also need to realize to

treat EVERYONE as special, too!!!

I.A.S.E.I.S. BRACELET

I AM SPECIAL - EVERYONE IS SPECIAL

3rd-12th

We often are told that we are special or that we need to feel good about ourselves.

But we need to remember that EVERYONE is special in his or her own way? We

cannot be cruel to others just to make ourselves feel better. In doing this, we are just

hurting ourselves. You cannot push someone over to get to the top…it just does not

work that way. So, YES, you ARE special…but so is everyone! Imagine if we had a

world where EVERYONE felt special about themselves. Sounds like a pretty great

place!

Make a bracelet as a reminder that “I AM SPECIAL - EVERYONE IS SPECIAL” right

along with you! Treat others as you want to be treated!!! It might just come back to

you!

Materials:

Letter beads:

• “I” beads = 2

• “S” beads = 2

• “E” bead = 1

• “A” bead = 1

• Memory wire bracelet (with one end curved already) – WARN ABOUT SHARP

EDGES AND HOW IT EASILY SPRINGS BACK TO POKE A PERSON! SAFETY WISE!!!

• Small jewelry pliers to curve the other end when the girls are finished beading

the wire.

101

• Small pony beads or other fitting bead to fill in the rest of the bracelet.

• Cup for their beads (optional)

• Procedure:

• Begin with the girls filling their wire with just short of 1/3 of the small pony

beads.

• Next, place an “I” bead, then a pony bead. Next place an “S” then a pony

bead. Continue with the rest of the letters, spacing with a pony bead in

between the letters.

• Finish with the small pony beads

• When there is approximately ½ inch of wire left showing, curve the wire with

the pliers (or if they want to try, let them, showing them how.)

• Be sure there are no sharp edges remaining (SAFETY WISE)

• Be sure that they put the beads with a directional specific upside down when

“stringing” them on the wire or they will be upside down when fed up to the

top of the wire.

• Reinforce with the girls that every time they see their bracelet they need to

remember that YES they are SPECIAL but that they also need to realize to

treat EVERYONE as special, too!!!

• *Take it farther: (optional): after the girls have completed their project, have

them turn and give their project to the person on their left. Process if anyone

causes any inappropriate behavior regarding this and how that negativity is

also a way to cut someone down. Being selfless and learning compassion

and care is a way to be a good friend. Turning someone’s nose up at their

neighbor is not.

106

Take Action

Wish for the World

Optional: 4th-12th grades

Objective:

Reinforce strength in numbers

Materials:

• 1 Popsicle per person + 1

• Large rubber band or tape

• Markers

Prior Preparation:

• Well before the activity starts, ask for two volunteers or pick the right two

people to play the bully and target. Take them aside where no one can hear

you. Explain that they need to choose who will be the bully & who will be the

target. When we share our wishes for the world, the target will go last. As the

target is speaking, the bully should come up to her, break her stick and keep

bullying her until the group intervenes enough to really make the bully stop.

Explain that the goal is to be as tough as bully as possible so the group has the

opportunity to really defend the target. The target can try to defend herself,

but she should rely mostly on the group to defend her – they should know how

by now!

Procedure:

• Give each person a Popsicle stick. Ask them to write three wishes they have

for the world on their stick. (Let them feel ownership of their stick)

• Ask for someone to volunteer to be the bully and someone else to volunteer

to be the target. Outside of others’ hearing, tell the bully to take the target’s

stick and break it. Then the bully and the target should keep acting out their

roles until enough people from the audience intervene to really stop the

bullying and help the target feel safe.

• Get the audience’s attention, then say “Action,” and get out of the way.

Wait in silence. This is the hardest part but give them time. As the authority

figure, they will look to you for permission to do something. Look away and let

them take action on their own. As girls come up to defend, give them a

Defender sign. They may join the target, stand between her and the bully,

107

give her their Popsicle stick, etc. If they need strong guidance, make some

leading comments: “That was really mean. I wish I’d had TAKE ACTION

training and knew what to do”

• Once the bullying stops, process:

o Defenders: What did you do? Why did you choose to act?

o Target: How did it feel to be targeted in front of all these people?

What did people do that hurt? What did people do that helped?

o Bully: How did it feel when people were reinforcing or ignoring your

behavior. How did it change when people started to defend?

o People still sitting: What did you do? Why? They may say “we didn’t

know that we could do something? You didn’t tell us we were

supposed to.” Talk about the role adults or authority figures play in

bullying dramas. You saw a fellow [student, Girl Scout] getting hurt.

When that happens in the hall at school, no one’s going to tell you that

you should help or what you to do.

o If you didn’t act, if you reinforced or ignored, don’t beat yourself up – learn from it. What will you do next time? What will you do when it’s for

real?

• Now have all of the girls line up at the front of the room, in a hallway, or

outside. One the count of three, have them all throw their stick as far as they

can across the room. Mark where the farthest goes.

• Have them retrieve their sticks and hand them to you. Rubber band or tape

them all together as one.

• Now have someone throw the bundle of sticks across the room. “When we all

come together, look how far we can go.”

• Now have the bully from the prior activity try to break the sticks as a bundle.

“When we all come together, none of us can be broken.”

108

TAKE ACTION

Service Leading

Objectives:

Solidify the perception of girls as partners in bullying prevention – the solution, not

the problem. Participants will present what they have learned to people of

influence and make recommendations for change.

Materials:

• Posters & other props the girls have created or want to use for presentation

Procedure:

• After the girls have identified people of influence and invited them to the

presentation. Ask the girls what they think is important to share with others.

Make a list of their ideas. Split into groups of girls who want to help with

specific topics.

• Give them time to prepare and practice.

• Adult plays master of ceremonies for presentation.

Tip: It will take at least 30 minutes to prepare the presentation. If it’s a separate

day, plan 10-15 minutes to practice before your audience arrives.

Helpful Links

• Club and Camp Ophelia (www.clubophelia.com)

• The Ophelia Project (www.theopheliaproject.com)

• Names Do Hurt (namesdohurt.com)

• Stop Bullying Now! (www.stopbullyingnow.org)

• Bully Safe USA (www.bullysafeusa.com)

• Cyberbullying.org (www.cyberbullying.org)

• The Friendship Page (www.friendship.com.au)

109

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Tissues to dry our tears.

Band-Aids to heal our hurt feelings.

Hershey kisses to help us make-up with each other.

A piece of yarn to tie our friendship together.

A penny to bring our friendship good luck.

A pack of sugar to sweeten up bitterness.

Gum to help us stick together.

A star sticker to remind us to shine.

A toothpick to remind us to pick our battles.

A lifesaver to remind us that we will ALWAYS be there for each other.

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