Taking Care of Yourself in the Taking Care of Yourself in the Aftermath of Trauma:Aftermath of Trauma:

Maintaining your BalanceMaintaining your Balance

By Bryce HagedornBy Bryce HagedornAdapted by Philip J. LazarusAdapted by Philip J. Lazarus

What is “Stress Management”What is “Stress Management”

Knowledge of the body’s reaction Knowledge of the body’s reaction This includes the mental, physical, This includes the mental, physical,

emotional, and spiritual factors associated emotional, and spiritual factors associated with stresswith stress

Utilization of Utilization of severalseveral coping mechanisms coping mechanisms Regular Regular practicepractice of relaxation techniques of relaxation techniques Periodic Periodic evaluationevaluation of the effectiveness of of the effectiveness of

coping skills and relaxation techniquescoping skills and relaxation techniques

Rapid RelaxingRapid RelaxingDeep BreathingDeep Breathing

Breathe from the stomach rather Breathe from the stomach rather than from the lungsthan from the lungs

Breathe in slowly through the nose Breathe in slowly through the nose and out through the mouthand out through the mouth

Breathe in to the count of 5, hold Breathe in to the count of 5, hold your breath for a cont of five, and your breath for a cont of five, and then breath out slowly for another then breath out slowly for another count of 5count of 5

Progressive Muscle Progressive Muscle RelaxationRelaxation

Tension AwarenessTension Awareness Where do you feel tense or Where do you feel tense or

stiff?stiff?

Tense Muscles to the Tense Muscles to the Count of Five then Relax Count of Five then Relax to the Count of Fiveto the Count of Five Repeat as neededRepeat as needed Wear comfortable clothingWear comfortable clothing Remove distractionsRemove distractions Try different muscle groupsTry different muscle groups Practice, practice, practice!Practice, practice, practice!

What is Balance?What is Balance?

Assigning Assigning meaningmeaning to your stress management to your stress management

Creating a balanced life in these areas:Creating a balanced life in these areas: SpiritualitySpirituality Exercise/NutritionExercise/Nutrition Work Work FriendshipsFriendships LeisureLeisure Love relationshipsLove relationships

Involves the creative use of time management, Involves the creative use of time management, the blending of activities, and the attribution of the blending of activities, and the attribution of meaningmeaning

Why are we not good at Balance?Why are we not good at Balance?

The “crisis management” The “crisis management” mentalitymentality Lack of attention to our needsLack of attention to our needs Crisis occurs which focuses Crisis occurs which focuses

attentionattention Lack of encouragement from Lack of encouragement from

“above”“above” Desperate times call for Desperate times call for

desperate measuresdesperate measures

Let’s do an assessment…

Letting Go…Letting Go…

Hierarchy of needsHierarchy of needs

People choose to People choose to let let

go based on:go based on: PrioritiesPriorities Past Past experiencesexperiences PerceptionsPerceptions

Of these needs, which one are you most likely to “let go” of under times

of distress?

Letting Go of LeisureLetting Go of Leisure

The first to go (time after The first to go (time after work/school)work/school)

““All work and no fun…”All work and no fun…” ResultsResults

Feeling deprivedFeeling deprived No time to regenerateNo time to regenerate Not at your “prime”Not at your “prime”

Letting Go of NutritionLetting Go of Nutrition

““I’m too busy to eat”I’m too busy to eat” Eating on the flyEating on the fly The physiological demands of stressThe physiological demands of stress

““I need energy, FAST!”I need energy, FAST!” ““I need carbs, STAT!”I need carbs, STAT!”

Results:Results: Weight gain/loss, high cholesterol, poor Weight gain/loss, high cholesterol, poor

nutrientsnutrients Physical/emotional “crash” Physical/emotional “crash”

Letting Go of ExerciseLetting Go of Exercise

““I don’t have the time”I don’t have the time” ““I don’t have the energy”I don’t have the energy” Some people count Some people count stressstress as exercise as exercise Results:Results:

Cardiovascular diseaseCardiovascular disease Obesity Obesity Unhealthy weight lossUnhealthy weight loss Low energy / fatigueLow energy / fatigue

Letting Go of RelationshipsLetting Go of Relationships ““But I don’t have time to take out the But I don’t have time to take out the

garbage.”garbage.” Initial tolerance of family and friendsInitial tolerance of family and friends Healthy relationships take consistent effortHealthy relationships take consistent effort Always risk of rejection and misunderstanding Always risk of rejection and misunderstanding Results:Results:

Loose contact with a close friend Loose contact with a close friend Are people avoiding you? Are people avoiding you? Loose a love relationship Loose a love relationship Divorce / SeparationDivorce / Separation Loneliness Loneliness

Letting Go of SpiritualityLetting Go of Spirituality

““I don’t have time”I don’t have time” ““What’s the point?”What’s the point?” ResultsResults

Ethical/moral dilemma Ethical/moral dilemma Life comes to lack true “meaning” Life comes to lack true “meaning” ““How did this happen?” How did this happen?”

Spiritual DistressSpiritual Distress LonelinessLoneliness EmptinessEmptiness HopelessnessHopelessness DespairDespair Difficulty loving self or othersDifficulty loving self or others Lack of meaningLack of meaning Loss of direction or purposeLoss of direction or purpose

Eating to De-stressEating to De-stress Eat breakfast daily Eat breakfast daily Limit sweets Limit sweets Eat crunchy foods for comfort Eat crunchy foods for comfort Eat six mini-meals daily (every 2-3 Eat six mini-meals daily (every 2-3

hours)hours) Drink at least 8-10 cups of water/dayDrink at least 8-10 cups of water/day Avoid smoking and alcohol, limit Avoid smoking and alcohol, limit

caffeine caffeine Eat more colorful fruits and vegetablesEat more colorful fruits and vegetables Plan, Plan, PLANPLAN, , PLANPLAN

Exercise as a Stress Management Exercise as a Stress Management ModalityModality

Detoxification of stress related compoundsDetoxification of stress related compounds Regular exercise actually increases energy Regular exercise actually increases energy Moving meditation Moving meditation Enhanced feelings of self-esteem and self-Enhanced feelings of self-esteem and self-

efficacyefficacy Periodic solitude and introspectionPeriodic solitude and introspection Opportunities for social supportOpportunities for social support Endorphin theoriesEndorphin theories Fitter to fight stress and diseaseFitter to fight stress and disease

Improving RelationshipsImproving Relationships

CommunicationCommunication Being openBeing open Take a risk on a Take a risk on a

new relationshipnew relationship Reestablish contact Reestablish contact

with an old friendwith an old friend MakingMaking time time

ScheduleSchedule PrioritizePrioritize

Get out of the Get out of the house!house!

Meeting the Spiritual NeedMeeting the Spiritual Need

Use your car for quiet reflectionUse your car for quiet reflection What can you learn about yourself?What can you learn about yourself? How am I now wiser?How am I now wiser?

Listen to spiritual tapesListen to spiritual tapes Meet with othersMeet with others Make gatherings a priorityMake gatherings a priority

Find other timesFind other times Set aside 10 minutesSet aside 10 minutes Take a long-term perspectiveTake a long-term perspective Is there meaning in tragedy?Is there meaning in tragedy?

Perhaps even a silver liningPerhaps even a silver lining

Be CreativeBe Creative Combine elements to meet multiple Combine elements to meet multiple needs:needs:

Plan a regular evening walk (Exercise) Plan a regular evening walk (Exercise) with your significant other with your significant other (Relationships) and discuss your (Relationships) and discuss your individual, couple, and family needs individual, couple, and family needs and goals.and goals.

Once in Balance, Once in Balance, STAYSTAY in Balance in Balance

CommitmentCommitment – a deep involvement – a deep involvement and commitment to an ideal greater and commitment to an ideal greater than oneselfthan oneself

ControlControl – reactions to events – reactions to events ChallengeChallenge – facing change as an – facing change as an

opportunity for growth and excitementopportunity for growth and excitement CoherenceCoherence – all things will work out – all things will work out

as well as can be reasonably expected as well as can be reasonably expected ChoicesChoices – engaging in consistent – engaging in consistent

health behaviors health behaviors allall the time the time

Staying BalancedStaying Balanced Easier to repair than to rebuildEasier to repair than to rebuild

Improve current relationshipsImprove current relationships Reconnect with old friendsReconnect with old friends Do something nice for someone each dayDo something nice for someone each day Try to give at least 3 compliments each dayTry to give at least 3 compliments each day

Count your blessingsCount your blessings Write down one blessing each morning even if Write down one blessing each morning even if

things seem hopeless—it always could be things seem hopeless—it always could be worse!worse!

Cut your losses and move along—Cut your losses and move along—especially when your hope is goneespecially when your hope is gone Can’t change the pastCan’t change the past

Trust YourselfTrust Yourself You will feel better in the futureYou will feel better in the future We tend to over-estimate the duration of an We tend to over-estimate the duration of an

emotion when predicting how long we will feel emotion when predicting how long we will feel about some event about some event

Unexpected traumatic experiences (e.g., loss of a Unexpected traumatic experiences (e.g., loss of a child, paralysis, being sent to a concentration child, paralysis, being sent to a concentration camp) often have less of a long-term impact on camp) often have less of a long-term impact on wellbeing than people expectwellbeing than people expect

Be kind to yourselfBe kind to yourself Give yourself time to copeGive yourself time to cope No “right” way to cope or feel, everyone copes No “right” way to cope or feel, everyone copes

differentlydifferently There will be an answer, let it be!There will be an answer, let it be!