talking to kids nannypalooza 2015

inspire a world of good

TO SPEAK OR NOT TO SPEAK: HOW TO TALK TO KIDS ABOUT SOCIAL ISSUESWilliam Sharp @DrWilliamSharp

Nannypalooza Boston

NNTD April 18, 2015


• Support

• #TalkingHelps

• Get support (did I already say that?)

• Parents Forum- Don’t’ worry alone

– http://www.parentsforum.org/

OVERVIEW

http://www.parentsforum.org/


• What do you already know about talking to

kids?

– Approaches

– Do’s/Don’ts

• What do you want to know?

(Hold me accountable for that second question!)

WHAT ARE YOUR CONCERNS?


WHY DO THIS WORK?

Only work that promotes growth and ego

development in both [child] and [caregiver]

is worth what [it] costs both to do.

- Margaret Little


IMPACT ON YOU…

• Develop FIRST AND FOREMOST Self Awareness

– What do you want them to know? Why?

• Grief and Loss of a wish: Remember, Welcome to Holland


UNDERSTANDING

• Always check you know what’s going

on…

617 277 3910


We believe we are thinking

creatures who feel, but we are

feeling creatures who think.


MORE FACE, LESS BOOKLIVING IN AN INFO AGE


HOW TO ENGAGE THEM IN TALK-NOT ACTION!

• Join their perceptions to get a better

understanding of the communication.

• Remember, you are in charge …just

because you are listening to them doesn’t

mean you agree with them.


HOW TO ENGAGE THEM IN TALK

• Use the kid as your consultant- ask them

what they want, how they plan to get it,

what you should do if they don’t get it, their

plan didn’t work, or something else is

getting in the way… ASK ASK ASK (you are

trying to assess their motivation (you can’t

work harder then them) and you want them

to internalize the plan.


INTERVENTIONS

• Maintain boundaries “You can be friendly,

but you cant be their friend”

• Utilize strengths

• Find creative ways to be with them

• Help them express feelings in words and

not actions

• Therapy – in school or the community,

including consults for you!


DON’T FORGET THE GHOSTS IN THE ROOM…

• The “middle schooler” who wants to be part

of the team

• The elementary school child who wants to

be independent

• The pre-schooler with magical thinking

• The infant seeking to please


EDUCATION IS NOT PREPARATION FOR LIFE,

EDUCATION IS LIFE ITSELF

-JOHN DEWEY


TOUGH ENOUGH

ARE YOU

TOLEAD BY EXAMPLE?


William is a psychoanalyst in private practice in Brookline Village. He

has consulted with state social service agencies in MA and teaches

both grad students and undergrads at the Boston Graduate School of

Psychoanalysis, Northeastern University and Wheelock College.

He is author of the textbook “Talking Helps: An introduction to

Psychoanalytic Counseling” and works with children, adolescents and

adults in both individual and group settings.

You can follow him on Twitter and contact him at

[email protected] or 617 216 3871

WILLIAM SHARP, PSYAD, CGP

mailto:[email protected]

talking to kids nannypalooza 2015

Education