Talking to Loved OnesA Sproles Family Funeral Home Resource

“We don’t believe planning a funeral should be overwhelming”

(765) 521-2400 | sprolesfamilycares.com

01Discussing a loved one’s last wishes is incredibly important, but surprisingly less than 30% of adults have had that conversation in depth. It’s understandable; there’s still a taboo in society that surrounds death and bereavement. No one wants to acknowledge that one day their loved ones will no longer be around, and have to handle conversations that can be both uncomfortable and upsetting.

However, speaking about death openly with family members creates the opportunity to understand their preferences for medical care and funeral arrangements. It’s rewarding to organize a funeral, knowing it was exactly what they wanted.

Of course, it’s easy to think, ‘I’ll talk to them closer to the time,' or ‘Now is not the right time.' Life, however, is unpredictable, and so talking to your loved ones about death should be a priority.

Consider the best approach for discussing your loved one’s last wishes.

You know your family better than anyone. Think how they respond to serious conversations – is a direct or indirect approach better? The direct approach is simply saying, ‘I’ve been wondering if you’ve made any funeral plans’, or, ‘I know it’s a hard subject to talk about, but have you thought about making funeral arrangements?’

If your loved one finds the subject of death uncomfortable, try asking more open-ended, hypothetical questions. There may be an opportunity to bring it up in casual conversation, by asking, ‘Have you ever thought about the kind of funeral you’d want?’ or talk about what you’d like for your funeral. This invites them to share their thoughts without putting too much pressure on them.

Ask for detailsMost people aren’t interested in the specifics, like the exact kind of coffin, or the flowers, for example. Knowing that they aren’t worried about the precise details can make it easier when you come to arrange the funeral, and you are less likely to second guess yourself. Keep in mind; the most important thing is to create the opportunity for them to explore the options, and record their thoughts.

Some information that’s good to ask ahead of time: • Their preferences for the funeral itself – have they done any funeral planning? • Where can you find important documents, e.g., funeral plan or life insurance policy? • What, if any, provisions have been made for funeral costs? • It’s also worth talking about their preferences for end of life care

If they have trouble talking with you, they could instead create a file of all their funeral preferences that you can access when they die. Make sure you know exactly where this is kept for when the time comes.

Talking to Loved Ones Abour Their Final Wishes Be prepared for any responseFor many people, talking about death is a rare occasion, and it’s a topic that can provoke an unexpected reaction. Your conversations may be emotionally charged, and one or both of you may get upset. It’s good to keep in mind why you are having this talk – it’s because you love them and what to give them the best funeral possible.

Other people may respond to this topic by shutting off and becoming quiet. Be persistent; you may need to mention it a couple of times to get them to open up. Some people might try to deflect the subject with humor, which is fine as long as you are also able to discuss their wishes at the same time.

Your loved one is already in ill healthIt’s always best to speak about post-death wishes before your loved one is seriously ill, as the conversation is easier when death still seems like a far-off possibility, rather than an immediate certainty. Even so, it’s not too late to have this conversation after a terminal diagnosis.

The difficulty is that bringing up this subject might feel like you are giving up all hope, and your own emotions, your anxiety, sadness, and anger, can stop the conversation from being productive. Explain to them that you just simply want to be prepared.

Your loved one may be reluctant to talk, and so it’s quite possible that despite your best efforts, you won’t be sure of your loved one’s exact last wishes. In these circumstances, talk to friends and family to help make decisions easier, and think about your loved one’s personality, beliefs, and passions to influence the funeral service. Ultimately, you just need to be happy with the choices you make, knowing you have done all you can to give them a good funeral.

(765) 521-2400 | sprolesfamilycares.com

Discussing a loved one’s last wishes is incredibly important, but surprisingly less than 30% of adults have had that conversation in depth. It’s understandable; there’s still a taboo in society that surrounds death and bereavement. No one wants to acknowledge that one day their loved ones will no longer be around, and have to handle conversations that can be both uncomfortable and upsetting.

However, speaking about death openly with family members creates the opportunity to understand their preferences for medical care and funeral arrangements. It’s rewarding to organize a funeral, knowing it was exactly what they wanted.

Of course, it’s easy to think, ‘I’ll talk to them closer to the time,' or ‘Now is not the right time.' Life, however, is unpredictable, and so talking to your loved ones about death should be a priority.

Consider the best approach for discussing your loved one’s last wishes.

You know your family better than anyone. Think how they respond to serious conversations – is a direct or indirect approach better? The direct approach is simply saying, ‘I’ve been wondering if you’ve made any funeral plans’, or, ‘I know it’s a hard subject to talk about, but have you thought about making funeral arrangements?’

If your loved one finds the subject of death uncomfortable, try asking more open-ended, hypothetical questions. There may be an opportunity to bring it up in casual conversation, by asking, ‘Have you ever thought about the kind of funeral you’d want?’ or talk about what you’d like for your funeral. This invites them to share their thoughts without putting too much pressure on them.

Ask for detailsMost people aren’t interested in the specifics, like the exact kind of coffin, or the flowers, for example. Knowing that they aren’t worried about the precise details can make it easier when you come to arrange the funeral, and you are less likely to second guess yourself. Keep in mind; the most important thing is to create the opportunity for them to explore the options, and record their thoughts.

Some information that’s good to ask ahead of time: • Their preferences for the funeral itself – have they done any funeral planning? • Where can you find important documents, e.g., funeral plan or life insurance policy? • What, if any, provisions have been made for funeral costs? • It’s also worth talking about their preferences for end of life care

If they have trouble talking with you, they could instead create a file of all their funeral preferences that you can access when they die. Make sure you know exactly where this is kept for when the time comes.

02Be prepared for any responseFor many people, talking about death is a rare occasion, and it’s a topic that can provoke an unexpected reaction. Your conversations may be emotionally charged, and one or both of you may get upset. It’s good to keep in mind why you are having this talk – it’s because you love them and what to give them the best funeral possible.

Other people may respond to this topic by shutting off and becoming quiet. Be persistent; you may need to mention it a couple of times to get them to open up. Some people might try to deflect the subject with humor, which is fine as long as you are also able to discuss their wishes at the same time.

Your loved one is already in ill healthIt’s always best to speak about post-death wishes before your loved one is seriously ill, as the conversation is easier when death still seems like a far-off possibility, rather than an immediate certainty. Even so, it’s not too late to have this conversation after a terminal diagnosis.

The difficulty is that bringing up this subject might feel like you are giving up all hope, and your own emotions, your anxiety, sadness, and anger, can stop the conversation from being productive. Explain to them that you just simply want to be prepared.

Your loved one may be reluctant to talk, and so it’s quite possible that despite your best efforts, you won’t be sure of your loved one’s exact last wishes. In these circumstances, talk to friends and family to help make decisions easier, and think about your loved one’s personality, beliefs, and passions to influence the funeral service. Ultimately, you just need to be happy with the choices you make, knowing you have done all you can to give them a good funeral.

Discussing a loved one’s last wishes is incredibly important, but surprisingly less than 30% of adults have had that conversation in depth. It’s understandable; there’s still a taboo in society that surrounds death and bereavement. No one wants to acknowledge that one day their loved ones will no longer be around, and have to handle conversations that can be both uncomfortable and upsetting.

However, speaking about death openly with family members creates the opportunity to understand their preferences for medical care and funeral arrangements. It’s rewarding to organize a funeral, knowing it was exactly what they wanted.

Of course, it’s easy to think, ‘I’ll talk to them closer to the time,' or ‘Now is not the right time.' Life, however, is unpredictable, and so talking to your loved ones about death should be a priority.

Consider the best approach for discussing your loved one’s last wishes.

You know your family better than anyone. Think how they respond to serious conversations – is a direct or indirect approach better? The direct approach is simply saying, ‘I’ve been wondering if you’ve made any funeral plans’, or, ‘I know it’s a hard subject to talk about, but have you thought about making funeral arrangements?’

If your loved one finds the subject of death uncomfortable, try asking more open-ended, hypothetical questions. There may be an opportunity to bring it up in casual conversation, by asking, ‘Have you ever thought about the kind of funeral you’d want?’ or talk about what you’d like for your funeral. This invites them to share their thoughts without putting too much pressure on them.

Ask for detailsMost people aren’t interested in the specifics, like the exact kind of coffin, or the flowers, for example. Knowing that they aren’t worried about the precise details can make it easier when you come to arrange the funeral, and you are less likely to second guess yourself. Keep in mind; the most important thing is to create the opportunity for them to explore the options, and record their thoughts.

Some information that’s good to ask ahead of time: • Their preferences for the funeral itself – have they done any funeral planning? • Where can you find important documents, e.g., funeral plan or life insurance policy? • What, if any, provisions have been made for funeral costs? • It’s also worth talking about their preferences for end of life care

If they have trouble talking with you, they could instead create a file of all their funeral preferences that you can access when they die. Make sure you know exactly where this is kept for when the time comes.

03Be prepared for any responseFor many people, talking about death is a rare occasion, and it’s a topic that can provoke an unexpected reaction. Your conversations may be emotionally charged, and one or both of you may get upset. It’s good to keep in mind why you are having this talk – it’s because you love them and what to give them the best funeral possible.

Other people may respond to this topic by shutting off and becoming quiet. Be persistent; you may need to mention it a couple of times to get them to open up. Some people might try to deflect the subject with humor, which is fine as long as you are also able to discuss their wishes at the same time.

Your loved one is already in ill healthIt’s always best to speak about post-death wishes before your loved one is seriously ill, as the conversation is easier when death still seems like a far-off possibility, rather than an immediate certainty. Even so, it’s not too late to have this conversation after a terminal diagnosis.

The difficulty is that bringing up this subject might feel like you are giving up all hope, and your own emotions, your anxiety, sadness, and anger, can stop the conversation from being productive. Explain to them that you just simply want to be prepared.

Your loved one may be reluctant to talk, and so it’s quite possible that despite your best efforts, you won’t be sure of your loved one’s exact last wishes. In these circumstances, talk to friends and family to help make decisions easier, and think about your loved one’s personality, beliefs, and passions to influence the funeral service. Ultimately, you just need to be happy with the choices you make, knowing you have done all you can to give them a good funeral.

(765) 521-2400 | sprolesfamilycares.com

(765) 521-2400 | sprolesfamilycares.com

We don’t believe planning a funeral should be overwhelming.

Our 3-step process gently guides you through this difficult time.

We meet with you and gather important and unique facts about your loved one.

We Listen

We guide you through planning a unique and memorable service for your loved one.

We Plan

We ensure the wishes of your loved one and your family are fulfilled and no

detail is overlooked.

We Fulfill

We will be with you during the entire process.