te ing your own s ry...remembering your own story as it happened. 2. re-imagining your story as you...

Barbara Hanneloré ©2017 www.womenswaymooncycles.com [email protected]

Telling Your Own StoryRe-connecting with your own Coming-of-Age

as a girl

Dear Moon Mother,

These next few pages are YOUR invitation to spend some time with your own coming of age.

Your own story of coming of age has always lived within you. The way you experienced first menstruation, as a girl, has influenced the way you’ve experienced your cycles, ever since!

I’m guessing that you did not receive the kind of support that you are wishing to create for your daughter. And yet, your “inner girl” is still there, and would benefit so much from receiving some of the kind words and gestures that you are able to offer, now.

You deserve the same welcome that you are preparing for the next generation! And, it’s not only valuable for YOU!

© 2017 all rights reserved Barbara Hanneloré www.WomensWayMoonCycles.com 1

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Your daughter, too, will benefit when you take the time to look inside, and make a connection with your own experiences - with the girl you were, way back when you were her age!

You’ll be more fully present for your daughter when you’ve taken the time to compassionately reflect on your own life, because your “inner girl” won’t be feeling left out! She’ll be included.

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So these pages give you the opportunity to do that review, in your own time and in your own way. There are several suggestions here for how to approach those memories, and you can take it at your own pace.

This may be a pleasant and nostalgic review for you, or it could bring up lots of unfinished business, and old wounds that need healing.

If you need some extra support, please be sure to reach out and ask for it!

Please remember that I’m here for you, as a mentor and coach, or else I can help you brainstorm to find the support you need.








I wish you the very best, as we ALL “sit in circle” together to reclaim this lost heritage.








TELLING YOUR OWN STORY

In modern culture, we do not celebrate first menstruation as the affirmation of life that it is! Even though communities throughout history have marked puberty in some way, there is a silence and lack of support greeting most young girls today.

As you reach out to find more fulfilling experiences for your daughter, there is another girl who would benefit so much from what you are learning and wanting to share. Can you guess who it is?

I am guessing that YOU may not have had the support you needed, as YOU navigated the big changes of puberty when you were a girl!

Just as your daughter deserves to be guided and honored as she matures, so too did you when you were her age!

A valuable part of preparing for your daughter’s puberty is taking the time to review what the

experience was like in your own life, too.








Your experience could have been pleasant enough, although as you look back on it now, you may realize that your elders just didn’t really know what to do or say.* And even though it was many years ago, the experience of your own coming of age is still alive within you, and it affects how you relate to your daughter, now.

In other words, as you think about things you can do for your daughter, your “inner girl” wishes that she could

receive some of those things, too!

It may seem silly or uncomfortable to go back and consider your own experience, since you can't change what happened, but actually it is never too late to give yourself - your own “inner girl” - the support she craves.

This is a powerful passage for you, to be able to welcome yourself into womanhood.

*(Sadly, I know that your experience could have been pretty bad, too, or even really awful, and I’m so sorry you had to go through

such a powerful time of change in those unsafe surroundings.)








So I’ll be suggesting some words or gestures here that you can do, now, for your own younger self. I wish for you to be able to give yourself a bit of the knowledge, support and celebration that you want for your daughter. You can bring yourself along, too, into this new way of experiencing Coming of Age!

On the final page you’ll find some questions that may prompt additional ideas for you.

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These next few pages hold an invitation for you to do a gentle review of what it was like for you, all those years ago. Your “inner girl” will appreciate your attention so much, and that is all you really have to do - just pay some attention to that time in your life, and I’ll give you some suggestions for things you could do or say as you go along.

You can do this in very simple ways. You’ll find that giving yourself the experiences that others may not have been able to provide for you, will have benefits that will reach into many areas of your life!








There are two steps to this process:

1. Remembering your own story as it happened.

2. Re-imagining your story as you wish it had happened!

Each step will guide you closer to fully supporting yourself now, as you address what may have been incomplete or troubling experiences for you when you were young. This type of healing work relieves inner tensions from long ago. It allows you to be more comfortable with yourself, and be more fully present for your daughter.

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1. Remembering Your Own Story:

You can definitely take this process in small steps, which will still be very healing. Sometimes you might be able to set aside some time alone and sit with your memories, and other times you may just be re-acquainting yourself with who you were at your daughter's age, as you go about your day.








Consider the actual onset of your first menstruation, and also the profound changes in your emotional life at that age. (You will find more questions on page 10.)

• How were your menstruation, and other changes of puberty, greeted by your family and community?

• Were you acknowledged at all? In what way?• What messages did you get from the culture you lived in?

The most important part of this process is to realize that you don't have to fix anything, or change anything. You are simply being a witness, and doing your best to recall what those years were like for you.

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This is part of “inner child” work. When you sit with your own “inner child,” you are giving her a chance to have a supportive adult to talk to. You hear whatever she has to say, and you don't have to have the answers!

You just tell her that you are there, and that she is not alone. You listen, and let her know you are there, and that you care.








Pretend that she is actually sitting right there next to you, and just sit with her, talk to her, listen to her. You could respond to her by putting into words what she is feeling.

Then give her the words of comfort, reassurance and encouragement that you think she would most like to hear.

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According to Rudolf Steiner, adolescence is the awakening of the heart.

Be generous toward your own heart! A deeper emotional life and a sense of one’s personal destiny, beyond the family, emerge around the age of puberty.

What were your feelings and dreams that were emerging at that age? Remember those tender feelings that lived within you, and welcome them with care. (If you find yourself dealing with very painful and difficult memories, please do seek out a trained therapist to support you in this healing work. )








Let’s Begin:

You can begin in small stages. Slow down and do something really simple like coloring, holding a stuffed animal, or taking a slow walk in nature as these memories emerge. You want to be very soothing with yourself.

Here are some creative things to do as you explore this part of your inner world:

✵ Writing the story down helps with recall, and with filling in the details. Spontaneous writing can help get this process going. “I remember…” is a good way to begin, and then write whatever circumstances, feelings or nonsense words come to mind for five or ten minutes, without stopping to think or edit. When you do it this way, your judgmental mind can’t interfere!

✵ Consider drawing the story or the feelings you had. Even simple art, such as a few spontaneous strokes or colors on paper, can be very revealing and/or comforting.

Lucia Capacchione’s Well-Being Journal for Teens can be a good “partner” for this exploration. Get this book for your “inner girl!”








✵ Spontaneous movement or singing is often helpful in the same way.

✵ Make a collage. Use some nice big paper and magazines, and look for images and words to match the process you are going through as you reconnect with your inner girl. Choose whatever appeals to you, without thinking too hard about it.

✵ Consider sharing your story with at least one friend. For most women in modern culture, first menstruation was shrouded in silence and cultural shame, which prohibited the free sharing and excitement that could have otherwise accompanied this special time.

A good friend or group of friends could get together to do this. Create a safe and loving space, uninterrupted and nurturing, with soft music and warmth, for yourself or your group of friends.








2. Re-imagining your Story as You Wish it Had Been!

Taking the time to “feel into” your own history can continue, now, by re-creating for yourself the coming-of-age you deserved! You can do this in some simple yet very healing ways.

One very powerful exercise is to rewrite your story the way you wish it had been. A vivid fantasy is hard for your psyche to distinguish from an actual memory, and can be very comforting on a deep level!

Take time with this and really fill in the details of your imaginary family celebration, or whatever kind of event you prefer, giving each person words to say, and gifts or gestures to give that are especially meaningful.

Again, spontaneous writing can help get this process going. Begin with “Once Upon a Time” and write without stopping or censoring your words for five or ten minutes. You may come up with some real gems that will feed your soul.








Here are a few more suggestions:

✵ Consider what it would be like to be taken to the “Women’s Lodge” for the first time, during puberty, by elder women who honor you, sing to you, and give you a sense of the miraculous aspects of your experience. Circle of Stones, by Judith Duerk has beautiful passages about this type of celebration.

✵ When you have your next period, after this process, treat it as if it were your very first one, and celebrate it! Honor yourself in some way, perhaps with a special bath or bouquet. Take a special walk alone just to marvel at this profound mysterious change that menstruation brings. Give yourself a gift; a stone, a card, a bracelet. What would you like to receive?

✵ Consider the life-giving aspects of menstruation and the startling, bold, red experience of it, the process of having such a powerful cycle of nature taking place right in the middle of your body.

Paint a picture or write a poem about menstruation as if there were no shame associated with it at all. You’ll find some great ideas in Honoring Menstruation, where Lara Owen shares her personal journey and research as she developed respect for her own cycles.








✵ Pay attention to the moon. Let your eyes absorb the moonlight whenever you can, so your body can be aware of its phases throughout the month. This can help to regulate your cycle, too. Imagine how long women have been standing beneath the moon and cycling in a similar rhythm!

✵ Begin to keep a daily chart of your cycle with an attitude of interest and exploration. You can keep track of so many aspects of your life and begin noticing the patterns that you may not have noticed before.

Dreams and ideas... energy level...preferences for colors or foods, as well as your own rhythms of menstruation and ovulation. Just as with looking at the moon, keeping track of your cycle can also help to make it more regular. Our bodies seems to appreciate the attention, and respond to it!

There are many styles of charts available for this. Your 10-page Woman’s Calendar Guide is included in this Kit! Additional Guide pages can be found at www.womenswaymooncycles.com/downloads

You may want to have a party! You and your friends can plan a belated Coming-of-Age celebration for yourselves. I have done this, more than once! My Booklet that accompanies this workbook, entitled How to Celebrate Your Daughter’s Coming of Age, will give you plenty of good ideas for your own party, too.





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In these ways you are bringing back into modern life the gifts, skills and traditions that have been passed through so many generations of women, during most of human history. It is so important for you, too, to be celebrated. Once you give yourself these gifts of attention and care, the memory will live within you, you’ll feel more honored, and you’ll be able to share these insights with other women and girls, forever.

This is a gradual process, of reviewing your life through a different lens, so be gentle with yourself. It is a transformational process, and it takes time. I hope these suggestions will be helpful for you, and I trust that you’ll know the best time to do them.

If you need some help getting started, and would like support during this process, please contact me at Women’s Way Moon Cycles about group or private mentoring sessions!

Many of the activities I've mentioned here can be fun and simple, and I can give you encouragement along the way! Other activities may bring up deep feelings. I can help you give yourself the space and time you need, or to find other resources and support, to allow the healing that this will bring.

I wish you Many Blessings on your journey to Welcome yourself into Womanhood!





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Questions to consider:

What do I remember about my life at that age?

What do I remember about my first menstruation?

Who supported me?

What messages did I receive?

What do I want to do for my Daughter?

If I want it to be different for her, why is that?

Why is coming of age so important?

Why was it important for me?

Can I see my own inner child as if she were a daughter of mine?

What messages would I like to give my inner girl, now?

What special things would I like to do for myself?







te ing your own s ry...remembering your own story as it happened. 2. re-imagining your story as you...

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