technical writing september 24 , 2014
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Today Tone in business writing - Formal vs. Informal Writing - Avoiding Colloquial (casual) Tone: Word ChoiceTRANSCRIPT
TECHNICAL WRITINGSeptember 24 , 2014
TodayTone in business writing
- Formal vs. Informal Writing
- Avoiding Colloquial (casual) Tone: Word Choice
Example 1-
This is to inform you that your book has been rejected by our publishing company as it was not up to the required standard. In case you would like us to reconsider it, we would suggest that you go over it and make some necessary changes.
Example 2 –
You know that book I wrote? Well, the publishing company rejected it. They thought it sucked. But hey, I did the best I could, and I think it was great. I’m not gonna redo it the way they said I should.
Formal
Informal
Informal vs. Formal WritingInformal Writing:
- Tends to be more conversational.
- Uses figures of speech and slang.
- Short, uses contractions and abbreviations.
- More personal, emotional tone.
- Speaks directly to audience using “you”, “your”, etc.
- Uses shorter sentences.
Informal vs. Formal WritingInformal Writing:
- Tends to be more conversational.
Hey Tim, what’s up for lunch?
- Uses figures of speech and slang.
I have a huge project to finish. It’s retarded.
Informal vs. Formal WritingInformal Writing:
- Short, using contractions and abbreviations.
I don’t really wanna go DT today. U?
- More personal, emotional tone.
Allison can be such a bad boss sometimes.
Informal vs. Formal WritingInformal Writing:
- Speaks directly to audience using “you”, “your”, etc.
I think you should take the position.
- Uses shorter sentences.
That’s great. Let’s do lunch.
Informal vs. Formal WritingFormal Writing:
- Tends to be complex and thorough.
- Approaches serious topics very directly.
- Uses longer sentences; Main points are introduced. More support and detail given.
- Uses full words (no abbreviations or contractions).
- States the main point objectively.
- Not personal or emotional.
Informal vs. Formal WritingFormal Writing:
- Tends to be complex and thorough.
The company currently requires employees to arrive
at work by 8:30 a.m. and complete a check-in form.
- Approaches serious topics very directly.
In order to maintain profits, this organization must
cut back on the current number of employees.
Informal vs. Formal WritingFormal Writing:
- Uses longer sentences; Main points are introduced. More support and detail given.
In order to maintain profits, this organization must cut back on the number of employees. Currently, with 16 employees, this organization runs at a deficit of $32,000 per quarter. By reducing the number of people on staff, this deficit can be eliminated.
Informal vs. Formal WritingFormal Writing:
- Uses full words (no abbreviations or contractions).
Unfortunately, I am unable to attend today’s lunch
meeting.
- States the main point objectively/ Not personal or emotional
Several employees have filed formal complaints
against the district manager, Allison Williams.
Example 1-
This is to inform you that your book has been rejected by our publishing company as it was not up to the required standard. In case you would like us to reconsider it, we would suggest that you go over it and make some necessary changes.
Example 2 –
You know that book I wrote? Well, the publishing company rejected it. They thought it sucked. But hey, I did the best I could, and I think it was great. I’m not gonna redo it the way they said I should.
Formal
Informal
Informal vs. Formal WritingGenerally, it is safest to use a formal writing style in business writing.
Exception: When writing to someone you are close to or familiar with.
- Using a formal tone in these cases can make thewriter seem “cold”.
Informal vs. Formal WritingWord choice has a significant effect on formal vs. informal language.
i.e.,
intoxicated vs. drunk
did not vs. didn’t
pleasant vs. nice
Informal vs. Formal WritingMultisyllabic words convey formality:
show demonstrate
help assistance
find encounter
Our company greatly appreciated Mr. Lee’s assistance on the project.
Informal vs. Formal WritingOne-word active verbs and strong verbs convey formality.
Active verbs: i.e., determine, decrease, investigate, develop.
Strong verbs: i.e., convey, recommend, suggest.
Two-/Three-word verbs and weak verbs convey informality.
Informal vs. Formal WritingActive verbs:
determine figure out
decrease go down
investigate look into
develop come up with
Informal vs. Formal WritingStrong verbs: convey tell recommend suggest
create make
complete do perform
Informal vs. Formal WritingContractions and idioms convey informality and are not generally appropriate for business writing.
don’t do not
we’re we are
Sit on the fence unable to come to a decision.
On the ball understand
How to avoid informal writing1. Change simple words into multi-syllabic words when possible.
Example:
I could meet your current needs for temporary help.
I could fulfill your current requirements for temporary assistance.
How to avoid informal writing2. Change two-word, weak verbs into one-word, strong verbs.
Example:
If the company goes with the first process, it would reach the break-even point at sales of 5,000 cases.
If the company chooses the first process, it would reach the break-even point at sales of 5,000 cases.
How to avoid informal writingTry to avoid vague adjectives and adverbs like:
“Good, bad, well, nice, pretty, very.”
Example:
Our company manufactures all sorts of good things.
Our company manufactures a variety of useful products.
Our company manufactures a wide range of cleaning products.
How to avoid informal writingSpell out contractions in their full forms.
Example:
The CEO won’t appoint you as manager unless they’re in need of one.
The CEO will not appoint you as manager unless they are in need of one.
How to avoid informal writingUse idiomatic language only for informal situations.
Example:
Contrary to our expectations, the company’s product management took a turn for the worse after the merger.
Contrary to our expectations, the company’s product management managed its products less efficiently after the merger.
How to avoid informal writingUse idiomatic language only for informal situations.
Example:
The IT department is keen as mustard to implement the new software.
The IT department is very enthusiastic about implementing the new software.
PracticeThe following slides contain suggested solutions from the in-class practice sheet.
- you can download the sheet in the “Files” section of the course website.
- I suggest trying to fix each practice question before checking the solutions here. REMEMBER: These are suggested solutions. Yours may be different (but not incorrect).
1. I suggest we facilitate the production process byhiring new employees to manufacture steel rings.
2. Sing Magazine encountered some financial problemslast year and had to borrow a substantial amount of money from banks.
3. The firm has minimally reduced its employees’ working hours.
4. Mr. Gambler should choose the best employee as soon as possible.
5. This new method will enhance our sales.
6. Sales Manager John Smith spoke effectively during the press conference.
7. Sales Central has been growing steadily since it started manufacturing the new product.
8. The manager will not say which part malfunctioned.You might want to investigate the matter yourself.
9. You should first determine what caused the reductionin sales.
10. I suggest you reconsider the proposal.
Practice HomeworkWrite two emails (one informal, one formal).
Information:
Last weekend, you were at a company party and drank too much. At the party, you became rude and verbally assaulted (insulted) one of your co-workers, Joey Jojo (who is also your friend) in front of your entire office, including your manager.
The company has demanded that you apologize to your friend and to the manager for your actions.
Practice HomeworkWrite two emails (one informal, one formal).
Informal to your friend (Joey Jojo).
Formal to your manager (Name: Ms. Mayweather).
Instructions: Write each email on a separate page (word document) and send it as an attachment to:
Subject: practice e-mails
Deadline: Next Monday (Sept. 29): 11:59 p.m.
HomeworkFor emails:
You need a salutation (if formal) i.e., Dear Mrs. Schwartz.
You need to include a closing salutation (if formal) i.e., Sincerely,
Joe Schmo