Tell them a story worth remembering

Writing in the yearbookfor today,

for next summer, for 20 years from now

There’s only two types

of writersGood writers and quitters

A few hints to move to good before they quit

No one reads our copy.

I mean, who likes all those words?

Our stories are so boring.

We’d rather have pictures than that boring stuff.

No one reads our copy.

Our stories are so boring.

I mean, who likes all those words?

We’d rather have pictures than that boring stuff.

Art students do pottery, drawing and painting. “I took art because I like to draw,” art student Alexis Hernandez revealed. Some students think art is fun. “I think art is fun,” Alexis added.

Art students do pottery, drawing and painting. “I took art because I like to draw,” art student Alexis Hernandez revealed. Some students think art is fun. “I think art is fun,” Alexis added.

Why isn’t this a story?

Alexis Hernandez tucked the unruly wisp of hair back into place with her mud-caked hands. She had been battling with her bangs for the last 30 minutes as her bowl took shape on the pottery wheel. “Anybody got like a clippie?” Alexis said to no one in particular in her Art I class third period. Her feet kept the wheel in a steady rotation with alternating tapping as the bowl became rounder and rounder. “My grandmama will love this bowl,” Alexis said. “It has to be like absolutely awesome.”

Do you see Alexis at the pottery wheel?

Do you see the hair falling in her eyes?

Do you see her hands?

Do you hear her voice?

Do you see her feet?

So, maybe they like stories, just not boring ones.

Lion and Bronco fans were on their feet as Boyd’s offense ran onto the field following a timeout. The Broncos stood on the Lions’ 12-yard-line. With 1:20 remaining, a touchdown would seal the game for Boyd but a defensive stop would force a fourth down.

Boyd quarterback Jacob Coffey took the snap from under center and pitched left to running back Bryan Maxwell. Maxwell took the pitch, found a crease between his guard and tackle and shot out of a cannon into the south end zone. Lion fans could only hang their heads and reach for their car keys as they watched Boyd score two fourth-quarter touchdowns to take a 12-7 lead.

Trailing by 6 with 1:15 left in the quarter, the kick return unit headed out to the field in an attempt to set up the offense with decent field position. Sophomore kick returners Robert Radway and Dario Jackson adjusted their alignment to field what they thought would be a squip kick, but a confident Bronco kickoff team decided to kick deep instead.

Trailing by 6 with 1:15 left in the quarter, the kick return unit headed out to the field in an attempt to set up the offense with decent field position. Sophomore kick returners Robert Radway and Dario Jackson adjusted their alignment to field what they thought would be a squip kick, but a confident Bronco kickoff team decided to kick deep instead. “It was such a nervous feeling being on the field for that play,” Robert said. “Before we went out on the field Coach told me I was going to run it back, and when they kicked it deep, I knew I had a chance.”

Robert fielded the ball on the 17-yard-line and fired off behind a Dario Jackson block. The front four on the kick-off team opened up a seam on the left side of the field. He burst through the crease leaving all Broncos behind except for the kicker. “As soon as I got to the kicker, it was over,” Robert said. “I broke his tackle and blew right by him.” With the crowd and the sideline going crazy, Robert high-stepped into the end zone untouched for the score.

“The best feeling was getting into the zone because we had to win the Battle of the Blue,” Robert said. A huge swing in momentum hushed the Bronco nation, and Robert’s kick return proved to be too much for Boyd to overcome. On the final drive of the game, Coffey hurled a ball into the Lions’ secondary in desperation only to be picked off by safety Matt Hanson.

On the final drive of the game, Coffey hurled a ball into the Lions’ secondary in desperation only to be picked off by safety Matt Hanson. “It was nice being the guy to put the nail in the coffin,” Matt said. “But our kick return is what won the game.”

On the final drive of the game, Coffey hurled a ball into the Lions’ secondary in desperation only to be picked off by safety Matt Hanson. “It was nice being the guy to put the nail in the coffin,” Matt said. “But our kick return is what won the game.”

Joe ArriolaNever had an AP class, and found yearbook his senior year.

Circle all the verbs.

Look for problems.1. “be” verbs2. “ing” verbs3. weak verbs4. too many helping verbs

Verbs.

Circle all the words that end in “ly.”

Analyze whether the verb enhances meaning or contradicts the verb.

If it enhances, find a better verb.If it contradicts, keep it.

Adverbs

Enhances: Example: The drunk walked unsteadily to the exit. Better: The drunk staggered to the exit.

Contradicts: Example: The teacher whispered loudly to prove her point.

Adverbs

It’s time to people watch.

To watch.To look.To see.

To hear.Take everything in.

The details.The words.

The interaction.

It’s time to people watch.Just like going to the mall.

Observe.

Body motion: gestures, facial expressions, eye movements, posture

Observe.

Body motion: gestures, facial expressions, eye movements, posture

ExampleAs the judges took The Blain Cleveland Mudslingers of 1884 to the stage, senior Amanda Roberts’ eyes searched the crowd for approval.

Megan Stene

Observe.

Paralanguage: voice qualities, speech habits, inflection, volume, tone, laughing. Not what is said, but how it is said.

Observe.

Paralanguage: voice qualities, speech habits, inflection, volume, tone, laughing. Not what is said, but how it is said.

ExampleApplause roared through the cafeteria at the final note.

Megan Stene

Observe.

Space: perception of physical space, how people interact with each other. (Seinfeld’s Close Talker episode)

Observe.

Space: perception of physical space, how people interact with each other. (Seinfeld’s Close Talker episode)

ExampleShe refused to conform to the slow shuffle of the other students walking in the hallway.

Caraline Trotter

Observe.

Objects: things we surround ourselves with such as jewelry, notebooks, backpacks, eyeglasses -- signs of wealth, poverty, power, age...

Observe.

Objects: things we surround ourselves with such as jewelry, notebooks, backpacks, eyeglasses -- signs of wealth, poverty, power, age...

ExampleGathering her notes and flashcards with a satisfied expression, Jenelle stood.

Laura Shaheen

Observe.

Touch: Handshakes, embraces, pats on the back, punches, taps

Observe.

Touch: Handshakes, embraces, pats on the back, punches, taps

ExampleWith a strong push in the back, the girls fell into the pool with the big sisters chanting “Welcome to varsity.”

Meredith Mahoney

Observe.

Time: The way people use time may speak volumes.

Observe.

Time: The way people use time may speak volumes.

ExampleWalking up the steps from the table in the cafeteria, sophomore Lindsay Davenport gasped as she came to abrupt halt.

Danielle Brown

Observe.

Every drafting table in the architectural/engineering graphics classroom was filled. Heads were bent over their work. The earlier laid back atmosphere had dispersed as each student concentrated on the paper before them. Senior Daron Hook swung the movable protractor and lined up the angle just so. He took his 2H drafting pencil and lightly traced a line. Frowning at the seemingly straight line, he erased it. Then he grabbed a brush to wipe away the bits of rubber left on his paper. “We’ve been drawing this house all month,” Daron said. “It’s a basic floor plan, and it doesn’t look like much, but it’s taken a lot of effort.” He aligned a three-sided rule and tried again. This time the line came out straighter, and he sighed in relief.

“It’s hard having to be so perfect. If you overdraw even say like a millionth of a centimeter, Mr. Keeton counts off.” Daron used the drafting machine to help him add another room to his floor plan. He carefully started writing on the page. “We had to practice lettering a lot,” Daron aid. “Drafting has only way to write a letter, so we all need to learn how to do it right. On the first day of school we wrote an entire page of alphabets.” His floor plan was nearly complete. “Our hands hurt so much when we get to the end of our floor plans. We draw all class, but in the end it’s worth it.” With moments to spend before the bell rang to dismiss them, Daron extracted the paper from its taped position on the page and took it to Mr. Keeton to turn in.

“The best part about finishing,” Daron said. “is being able to look back all that detail and know your time was well spent.

Laura Shaheensophomore

Show, don’t tell.

Listen to my buddy, Bruce.

Show, don’t tell.

Listen to my buddy, Bruce.I had a friend was a big baseball player back in high school.He could throw that speed ball by you, make you look like a fool, boy.Saw him the other night at this roadside bar. I was walking in. He was walking out.We went back inside sat down had a few drinksBut all he kept talking about….

Glory daysWell they pass you by.Glory daysIn the wonder of a young girl’s eyes.Glory days

Show, don’t tell.

Well there’s a girl that lives up the block.Back in school, she could turn all the boys’ heads.Sometimes on a Friday, I stop by and have a few drinks after she put her kids to bed.Her husband Bobby, well, they split up, I guess it’s two years gone by now.We just sit around and talk about the old times.She says when she feels like crying she starts laughing thinking about

Remember

Avoid jumping to conclusions about nonverbals. Report what you see. Don’t interpret.

Remember

Avoid jumping to conclusions about nonverbals. Report what you see. Don’t interpret.

Be discriminating. Too much description is ridiculous and distracting.

Remember

Avoid jumping to conclusions about nonverbals. Report what you see. Don’t interpret.

Be discriminating. Too much description is ridiculous and distracting.

Use dialog to take us there and quotes to fill in what we can’t see.

Remember

Thanks to

Lori OglesbeeMcKinney High SchoolMcKinney, Texaslao4@mac.comloglesbee@mckinneyisd.net

http://www.homepage.mac.com/lao4Copy of this presentation

This is her presentation.