THE MEWS NEWS VOLUME 2/ISSUE 1 Reviews, Stews & Happy News FRIDAY, JULY 17, 2009

‘The problem with the problem is the problem’ ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

WOMBATS FINISH

FIRST AT LAST July 8-- The Wombats, formerly Team Blarney, journeyed down the hill to Wabasha St. to the American Burger Bar for the opening round of a summertime version of the trivia game usually contested at Billy’s-on-Grand. It was a laughter filled evening that ended with the Wombats in first place, finishing well ahead of Masabe, Harrah, and rookies Quest. With Anne-Marie absent, Heidi stepped in to anchor the team and led the way, answering several of the first queries on the TV series SEX IN THE CITY. Other subjects were baseball movies, the 60s & 80s, music, movies, inventions, cars, and colleges of Hall-of-famers. Of the eight questions asked in the latter two categories, the Wombats scored nary a point, positing USC as answer when wrong and not doing so when it was correct, and not knowing the most popular color of luxury cars....among many other things. But the Wombats did quite well with other subjects and scored high when it was to their advantage. Brendan did the whole team a favor when he scored a solo, giving the correct date of the invention of the microwave oven. Not only did the Wombats score 24 points, but they also received a free round of drinks from management. Prosit, Brendan! At the end of the first round the Wombats finished 2nd with 81 pts, behind Harrah with 84 pts. In the second round, positions were reversed: Wombats 235, Harrah 204, Masaba 139, and Quest 127. The 3rd and final round confirmed the Wombat victory as the remarkable marsupials added 255 points to their score, including two other solos: Leslie knew which movie featured Michael Jack-son's "Will you be there"?; Mike Bauman correctly added up the number of elapsed minutes in a 15 round prize fight?. Not to be outdone, Vinny answered what none of the rest of the team could: the number of Herbie, The Love Bug. The final scores: Wombats 490, Masaba 358, Harrah 309, & Quest 268.

TRADER JOE’S OPENS

Jeanne and Leslie drove down the Lexington hill to the Randolph intersection to check out the new grocery outlet in the area. Jeanne returned with two bags full of goodies and an enthusiastic report. Prices are low, very low in some cases. The few entrees this reporter has sampled are quite edible, but be ready to add your favorite spices. Trader Joe's is not a place where you could do all of your weekly grocery shop-ping. It is really just a missing link between 7-11 and a Lunds: something close to the old neighborhood corner store, except in addition Trader Joe's has a beer and wine store, too. A good deal of T.J.’s goods are store brands, but some things like milk and yogurt are national or at least local labels. Prices tend to be cheaper. On a recent visit, we saved on bananas, milk, cashews, laundry detergent and baking soda, versus similar goods at Lund’s. Yoplait yogurt was 79¢ in both stores; a half gallon of milk 60¢ less at Joe’s. Jeanne picked up a piece of cauliflower at Joe's which cost her much more than a larger (un-celo-wrapped) chunk would have at Lund's. Beer was definitely less expensive: $2 less a six pack, at least. It is unknown at this time how their prices and quality compare with Cub or any other low price food chain. The staff is very friendly and helpful, ingratiatingly so, at times. T. Joe's can offer these lower prices partly because of the reliance on store brands, partly because of the power of nation-wide purchasing, no advertising and, of course, low wages and the prohibition of even any discussion of unionizing. One wonder’s if the cheery smiles or even the same faces will remain after a few months of low wages. All in all, it’s worth the occasional stop. You can’t beat the price of cashews, that’s for certain. And those wanting good but inexpensive wine for the pub, will not find a better source short of the sale bins at the major liquor marts.

FRIDAY: JULY 17, 2009 THE MEWS NEWS PAGE 2==========================================================

A GREY & COLD

GRAND OLD DAY

Those in the Wombat could review troopMontgomery proceding along Weirnatta Mews as they marched to Grand Avenueand the official parade of Grand Old Day.

+ + + + +June 7th was the 36th Annual Grand Old Day in St. Paul. This year’s theme was “It’s Grand Being Green.” The day started with pancakes and sausage at the Kennedy’s. The cool weather and threat of rain didn’t stop the G.O.D. die-hards from attending the parade which, from this reporter’s perspective, was a disappointment. After walking up and down the avenue for a bit, it was time to return to Weirnatta Mews for an afternoon of food, drink and enjoying the company of friends who early in the proceedings were already gathered around the fire pit. ++++++++++++++++++++++++

TERROR IN THE PARK

No, this is not the entrance ramp to Trader Joe’s underground parking area. Dan and Ann, Robert and his daughter Kimmy, Jenny and Leslie all went to Disney World in May. As luck would have it, they hit one of the wetter Mays in Florida history. It rained every day. But the rain didn’t keep them from having a great time. Here they all are on Expedition Everest. HOW MANYMICKEYS CAN YOU FIND? +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

THE CHURCH LADIES’ ANNOUNCEMENTS

The Low Self-esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 P.M. Please use the back door.    

The new pub fund raiser has a new campaign slogan: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.

FRIDAY 7/17/09 THE MEWSNEWSSPORTS/OPINION ==================================================================

SPORTSIDE with the DUCHESS OF CORK

The Minnesota Twins are currently 4 games behind Detroit. Three Twins were selected for the All Star game: Joe Nathan, Justin Morneau and Joe Mauer. Mauer’s double to left field in the 5th drove in the run that tied the game. In the 8th inning, Joe Nathan faced Ryan Howard with the A. L. leading 4-3 and two runners in scoring position. Joe left the NL wanting. Well done, boys. ---------------------------------- The Wild has hired its second head coach in franchise history – Minnesotan and former Gopher Todd Richards

In what was an historic Wimbledon, Roger Federer became the greatest tennis player of all time by winning his 6th Wimbledon title and 15th Grand Slam title. The final match against Andy Roddick recorded the most games ever in a 5th set final (30). It was a duel of servers – Federer recorded 50 aces and Roddick clocked a serve at 143 mph. The Wimbledon women’s final once again featured sisters Venus and Serena Williams. This time it was Serena’s turn to bring home the championship. One of the Williams sisters has won the championship 8 of the past 10 years (Venus 5, Serena 3).

================================================================

Intrepid Recusant’s Almanack

By Silence Dogood _________

With the U. S. Senate election now just a distant memory and the mouths of Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann taking summer vacations, I wondered what I would write about in this year’s edition. Then it hit me! Investigative journalism on the most underreported story of the 2008 election: Barak Obama is NOT an American citizen. I know the radical activist judges of a unanimous Supreme Court dismissed all those lawsuits about his fake birth certificate that wacked patriots filed. I know the liberal media ignored the story in order to help elect Obama. The mystery is why did Rush Limbaugh, Fox News, Glen Beck, Wall Street and (gasp) Bill O’Reilly not say one word about this fraud against natural-born Americans? After in-depth investigation, I can now report the story – exclusively to you, dear readers. I tracked down Joan Swirsky, a highly-connected newsworm on the independent, non-partisan Right Side News (“The Right News for Americans”.) She advised me that her sources have confirmed that it goes back to the 2004 election. Newly-elected President George W. Bush claimed a mandate. He then “suddenly and inexplicably” went into a “year-long hibernation” and emerged as a weak, left-tilting nice guy. This – according to her sources – was because a “ruthless” Islamist terrorist group planted 6-10 nuclear devices around the country and threatened to set them off unless Bush agreed to “pave the way” for Obama to reach the White House. She believes the leaders of the intelligence services visited network broadcasters (“and even comedians”) to silence them. It has now come to pass, with a terrorist sympathizer in the White House. Please check your backyard for undiscovered nuclear devices. Remember, this is a nuclear-free neighborhood. With that mystery solved, some guesses on early favorites in the upcoming Governor’s marathon. On the DFL side, our very own Matt Entenza is a modern day William Randolph Hearst: a news magnate with plenty of money (his very smart wife’s) and plenty of policy motion (Minnesota 2020) who is REALLY experienced in politics. Republican: Norm Coleman, another St. Paulite. What a resume! A professional politician, he’s already lost to a professional wrestler named Ventura and a professional “satirist” named Franken. He’s hoping the Dems nominate Andy Dawkins. ---So says Silence Dogood.

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR are welcome at mewsnews@earthlink.net

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

FRIDAY: JULY 17, 2009 THE MEWS NEWS Local ==================================================================

LOST DOGS

Charles Dickens said it: "Marley is dead..... There is no doubt whatever about that." Tho there are no reports of his face peering from the door knocker on Bruce and Susan's front door. Nor is his sharp, snappy bark exhorting any of the residents of Tippler's End to mend their wicked, wicked ways, so, if there is a ghost of Marley wandering about the neighbor-hood, it is merely the echo of the happy memories he left behind.

And so is....Magertz, a dog who could never make up her mind about where she wanted to be. Perhaps that is a result of no one spelling her name the same way twice (Magertz, MacErtz, McGerts, Maggerts, M’gerts) for if you don’t know who you are, how can you be happy with where you are? Well, in old age she mostly settled on being on the couch at Jeanne’s feet, avoiding the company of all others.... after the usual preliminaries.

Yes, Dickens was prescient: “Old Marley is dead”...and Magertz is, too.

THE MEWS NEWSTHE MEWS’ AMUSEMENT FRIDAY: JULY 17, 2009+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

MOVIESCINEMAPICTURESFLICKSMOV

Friday Night at the MoviesJuly is MINNESOTA MONTH

July 17 -- DROP DEAD GORGEOUSIn a small Minnesota town, the annual beauty pageant is being covered by a TV crew. Former winner

Gladys Leeman wants to make sure her daughter follows in her footsteps.

July 24 -- sorry, no movie

July 31 -- GRUMPY OLD MENA lifelong feud between two neighbors since childhood, only gets worse when a new female neighbor

moves across the street.++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

_________________________________________________________TODAY’S WORD from the DAN-TIONARY

DOWNLUGE (doun-loo zh)++++++++++++++++++

THE MEWS NEWS CALENDAR FRIDAY: JULY 17, 2009

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ AUGUST

4--(Tuesday) NATIONAL NIGHT OUT Rick & Jeanne’s front yard 5-9--(Wed-Sun) Stu Reese....Jim Lannon...Jane Richards...Eli

6—Soup Night 8--(Saturday) Rick & Jeanne’s 12th ANNUAL GARDEN PARTY, 2 p.m. to ????

THE BLOCK PARTY: August 29

Dogs & brats on the grill...Bring your own beverages & something to share....Games, bike & wagon parade...Mini golf....We expect it to be

held on Oak Grove....More information to come

SEPTEMBER 3--(Thursday) SOUP NIGHT

--------------------------------------------------------- We wish a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Odie, the Queen Mum

---------------------------------------------------------- MILESTONES

JULY

10-VINNY’S birthday 14—EMILY & PAUL’S 2nd anniversary

20--ODIE’S birthday

AUGUST

9—EMILY & RICH’S 3rd anniversary 15--KELLI’S birthday

SEPTEMBER

6--LEE’S birthday 17—ANN & DAN’S anniversary

18--JOHN H’S birthday BRUCE & SUSAN’S anniversary

22--CRAZY AUNTIE SARAH’S birthday 23--CATIE’S birthday

_________________________________________________________

Today’s word from the DAN-TIONARY

DOWNLUGE: noun (doun-loo zh)

....not to be confused with a southbound olympic suicide sled, a DOWNLUGE is a torrential rain; thunderstorm, thundershower, rainstorm, or cloudburst, and more commonly called a DOWNPOUR or DELUGE, something of which we in Tippler’s End have little knowledge.